Full Nuclear

>>33444592
What were their names OP?

>>33444600
Breakfast and Dinner.

>>33444600
Samantha and Streganona

heres my possible arsenal right now:

.22 single shot with iron sights

80lb crossbow with red dot

Crosman 1322 (leaking air through breech)

I've also considered caging and burning it

Chickens are not pets. They are food. Don't be mad that something else figured this out before you.

>>33444823
Not mine

I got them and deep fried them.

Come at me,bro

>>33444823
Dogs are food too then

>>33444592
The .22 is the way to go.

You could try putting up a security camera so you know what kind of pest you're looking for.

>>33444823
This.
Also, her death was your fault. Thats what happens when you dont secure your chickens properly.

>>33444842
I had them locked up. It's not my fault the thing chewed through the wire on their coop

>>33444592
Place some of the meat from the dead chickens and soak in anti freeze.

No animal can resist the taste, and your chickens will have revenge.

File: Laugh-Out-Loud-Images-09.jpg (135KB, 1170x702px) Image search: [Google]

135KB, 1170x702px

>>33444609

>>33444864
Already threw out the bodies, and that's not brutal enough

File: rat-poison.jpg (58KB, 654x368px) Image search: [Google]

58KB, 654x368px

>>33444592
I feel your pain OP. I too have chickens. Last year in one night some foxes/racoons got into the coop by ripping the screen out the windows I made.

Whatever it is its nocturnal so the odds of you being around to shoot it when it shows up are low. Here is what I recommend and have had great success with.

Take a raw, thawed chicken breast, pack it/dust it/smother it with rat poison. Put it somewhere that not dogs/chickens can get but still near the coop. Repeat as needed. Should solve your problem.

Projectile weapons are for boys, chemical weapons are for men!

God speed op!

>>33444878
I'm thinking of trapping it, and burning it

>>33444887
You could do one of those one entry no exit cages to get whatever animal it was.

>>33444887
I tried that once, the fire got so hot it messed up the springs in my trap.

I get wanting to watch it suffer, just remember that with rat poison, its going to go home, curl up, and then feel like shit as it gets weaker and weaker until it finally dies a horrible with no clue what the fuck is going on.

Way more terrifying than being burned alive, lasts longer, and is probably more painful cause it lasts much much longer than fire.

But now we're getting into sick fuck territory. It's a pest, it sucks, kill it, move on with your life before you end up as "LOCAL MAN BURNS HOUSE DOWN TORTURING INNOCENT LITTLE FOX, MORE ON THIS ANIMAL CRUELTY CASE AT 6!"

>>33444592
Fellow chicken owner here. When you raise them by hand from chicks, nothing feels overboard. Multiple predators will kill and leave bodies:
If you found them out of line of sight from the coop, it had a good chance of being a raccoon. But note, raccoons typically only grab one a night.
If they were torn to pieces just outside the coop, dog/fox/coyote. Note, that a fox/coyote will kill half or more of your flock in one night and bury the rest for later.
If they were torn to pieces or just the heads are missing, that is a sign of a possum. Note, possums are fucking nasty pieces of shit when it comes to chickens. They seem to kill for no other reason but for the hell of it.

Get a live trap, since even the most liberal states allow those. Once what ever is eating your girls is caught, exact revenge, however you see fit.

>>33444872
>not brutal enough
Alright go full fucking hatred

Trap it using some meat, even if you catch 1 set more traps for a while after, to catch them all.

Then tie them up, light their coat on fire but put it out to keep them alive.

Cut them and rub salt or lemon juice on them.

Pour acid in thier eyes, and shred thier nuts leaving them attached.

Torture them for ever keeping them alive like that game I have no mouth and I must scream.

Or yknoe you can calm down and just kill the pest like a normal human being.

>>33444936
jesus fuck

>>33444887
Burning flesh smells awful. If you want to cause it a horrible death, drown it.

File: 16807158_1316570601736984_4597153174518597702_n.jpg (53KB, 540x960px) Image search: [Google]

53KB, 540x960px

>>33444928
One thing I'd like to add, owls also decapitate chickens and leave a headless bodies in many cases. But I doubt an owl broke into OPs coop, just a fun fact.

I'm honestly to see so many other chicken owners on /k/ at 1:55pm eastern time. Who knew?

>>33444912
>kill it, move on with your life
this
if it was an animal, then it isn't acting out of malice and it isn't evil, those are human traits
if you start torturing the animal or killing it gruesomely in order to "exact revenge", you're acting irrationally

if/when you do capture the animal killing your flock, just put a .22 in its head or whatever is relatively quick and convenient

>>33444936
I'm thinking taking it to the woods with the 12 gauge

>>33444970
Never lost a girl to an owl, lost one to a bald eagle, right in front of me too. Sucked on so many levels, but what can I do when the embodiment of freedom decides to dine on one of my pullets?

>>33445002
taxation without representation

>>33445000
Acceptable. Even if you don't go for a cranium buster with the first shot it's not going to suffer long wherever you hit it.

>>33445011
Yeah it'll die quick, but I just want to blow it up

>>33444592
RIP.

As a Poultry Science major I empathize with your love of chickens.

File: 7ebb6b11f96b457424937941e924872db907d1228aa2020f719416cde2b1a1c5_large.jpg (84KB, 900x484px) Image search: [Google]

84KB, 900x484px

>>33445002
I am seriously no joke not advocating for this. I am totally fine with losing what is ultimately at most a $20 chicken to a bald eagle if it keeps the species alive and I know many others who would have no problem with it. That being said, there are commies out there among us who actually shoot at bald eagles for attacking their birds and sometimes they hit. Fuckers

>>33445053
I had just bought a few more pullets a week before. Thing is I was not the only one losing chickens to an eagle in my area. Someone did end up shooting one (it lived and was reintroduced in a different area) but talking to the other chicken owners in the area, the mysterious disappearances stopped right after the eagle was shot.

>>33445002
Kill it with a. Smle while you drink tea and after killing it taxate the rest of his family

>>33444823
Pet and meat are not mutually exclusive concepts.

>>33445126
I do refer to my dog and cats as emergency food supplies...

>>33445126
They should be desu, there's a tier of animal I call "friends of man" that anyone who eats them is a piece of shit to me
>doggo
>catte
>hors
>all raptors

>>33445202
>Horse
All horses are pieces of shit who are in essence expensive poop factories.
>Pay for feed
>Pay for special housing
>Pay for area to graze
>Pay for stall to be cleaned
>Pay to have shit hauled off
>Pay for shoeing
>Pay for vet visits
>And if all goes as planned and the horse doesn't die, you'll get to do this for 20 years and maybe ride it 2-3 times a year.

Of course some people do a lot of those things themselves or don't take care of their horses to that level, but a larger majority of the types of people who own horses simply want to waste money.

>TL;DR Fuck horses

>>33445275
Just because horses are obsolete doesn't mean they're pieces of shit. They were the most valuable animal in the world for millennia until recently.

>>33445314
people have always been the most valuable animal.

although, the price might fluctuate in a different circumstances.

>>33445314
That doesn't negate the fact that they are currently an overpriced pet.

Also if you've ever worked with a horses they have complete shit personalities.
Basically if you're not their owner they will look for every opportunity to kick, bite, smack, or otherwise hurt you as well as constantly try to escape. They are like toddlers that can seriously injure you.

>>33445275
>>33445352
>Work innawilderness
>Wilderness Act forbids mechanized equipment
>packstrings and horses for days
Horses and mules are pithy, vindictive cunts but they've made my life easier more times than I can count.
Work animals>>>>>>>>>>>>NEET companion animals
Hell even my dog's got multiple fucking jobs even though the retard is my best friend
You should've secured those chickens better OP, that shit's on you.

>>33444887
>animal acting according to nature
>I want to burn it to death
Do a better job of protecting your shit, kill varmints as necessary.
Trapping it and burning it is serial killer shit you weirdo.

>>33445348
>people have always been the most valuable animal
Not really. It took far more time and money to raise and train a horse than to train a bunch of recruits for the longest time. Add in when commanders viewed the troops (often conscripts) they commanded as disposable and your statement is rather wrong. It really is a 20th century idea that people have value.

>>33444864
Anti-freeze has bittering agents, dumbass.

>>33444836
If you wouldn't eat a dog if necessary you deserve to starve

>>33445923
Yes yes lets all pretend we're facing certain death, while we're at it I'll eat grandma too since she's basically useless or that nearby infant that ain't contributing shit to society.

99.999% of the time you don't eat the dog. The fact that your considering eating a dog while I assume you're not starving to death either makes you a sick fuck or a china man and both are deplorable.

>>33445941
>He wouldn't eat a dog out of curiosity
Pussy

>>33444850
Sounds like a raccoon

>>33445480
Those hens were my pets. This is basically a rare opportunity to brutally kill something that murdered my loved ones

Christ, OP. That's awful. Next time build your pen out of chain-link fencing. Plain old chicken wire will keep the birds in, but nothing besides stray cats out. And have a trench filled with cinder blocks underneath it.

As for vengeance, try a Hav a Hart cage baited with chicken. But kill whatever it is quickly. Don't be an asshole.

>>33445941
>eat grandma
Hell, no. Too stringy. Tough meat. Organs are probably no good, either.

>that nearby infant
Babies are cute and fun, and don't have enough meat on them to make the effort worthwhile.

>dog
Useless black hole that probably can't even stop a determined nigger.

>>33446832
I'll probably shoot it with the Ruger .22, then just anihilate it with 100 rounds of 12 gauge

>>33445923
Luckily you will never have to make that difficult decision because we would eat you first before considering whether to eat the dogs or not.

>>33446874
I thought niggers were afraid of dogs.

>>33446918
Only peeit booz

>>33444771
Record it if you do.

File: k loves an2.jpg (96KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

96KB, 640x480px

>>33447031
No to both. Or we'll have a divorce on our hands.

>>33445202
Cows are walking meat blocks tho


I agree with everything else tho, and would add dolphins/whales and great apes to the list

>>33444600
Robert and Paulson

My buddy has a chicken coop. He also has 1 giant Rooster. He recorded a bear breaking into the pen and the Rooster scratching it's face. The bear looked at it funny and then ate two chickens.

>>33444936
jfc dude

>>33444592
I'm guessing a coon did it.The four legged variety.
Malrin + mountain dew in a dish is illegal. I've heard that barn cats don't touch it; wouldn't trust a dog's judgement.The chickens aren't interested. Done heard that coons die within inches if the dish, can't say I've ever seen it.

http://dnr.wi.gov/news/BreakingNews_Print.asp?id=481