Meanwhile in AD 43 /k/...

>>33434856
So I bought this Damascus steel gladius from this tribesman from Judea, should I be worried that I got screwed out of my money?

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>>33434888
>Gladius
>Not buying a spatha

Enjoy getting disemboweled faggot

Boy us master race Germanic tribesmen sure have the best warriors and aren't literally who's in the world right now

Hadrian's not going to build a wall you stupid plebeians, stop buying into the fear and hate

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>>33434856

>>33435057
>2 sestertii has been deposited into your coin pouch

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>>33434856
Hey guys, bought this milsurp spear from some guy who served in Judea. He was mostly on garrison duty overseeing executions and shit. Think it has any value? I might just sell the weird gold foil it came with and refurbish it.

That traveling preacher from Bethlehem really got me thinking about my life...

This Londinium may be a piece of shit now, but just you wait!

>>33435095
Wtf is Bethlehem?

>>33435078
>BIBLE BLACK

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Oh me find long stick cool pointy. Sharp rock fags idiots I like suck dick thank you

Have any of you noticed that you don't throw up or shit blood after drinking water that has been boiled? Weird coincidence huh?

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>>33434856

>>33435078
Milsurp like that really are a denarii a dozen. It's not like it has any historical value either.

Probably worth more as scrap.

>>33435144
no

>>33435111
back from the future- now it's a steaming pile of shit!

Some Germanic nomad faggot just tried to tell me that using lead for pipes was bad. Called himself a 'Visagoff' or something like that. Damn barbarians will never accomplish anything.

>>33434856
We need to get on top of this immigrant problem asap, the Germans are spearheading this invasion of barbarians calling themselves "citizen".

I sure hope one day the Germans stop trying to ruin Europe.

>>33434888
>damascus
>Judea

you actually went to the far reaches of the empire to acquire a blade forged in a land literally three months travel closer to Rome.

did they tell you it had been quenched in the blood of a sacrificial lamb as well?

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Sup bitches olaf is here.

Nihao western dogs, would you like to buy some silk?

>>33435113
a small village in the land of judea. I've heard about that prophet as well. official records show he was crucified by his own people, but for some reason this happened a few weeks before he really got popular.
There are legends of people walking out of tartarus but that's not actually supposed to be possible... right?

>>33435057
When the Picts and Gaels send their people into the empire theyre not sending their best theyre sending bandits, raiders and rapists but i assume some of them are good people.

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>>33434856
*blocks your path*

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Check this shit out you plebs.

>>33436277
Dude, if I had a denarius for every time some desert tribe claimed some dude came back from the dead ...

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I'm telling you Polonius. These jews are such fanatics that they need to be put down once and for all. They have done nothing but bog us down in Judea for so long, all the while they scheme and plot and murder in secret. If they aren't taken care of these fanatics are gonna ruin the whole damn region.

Also I don't care what the forum is saying. They want you to believe Carthage is the real threat.That's just state propaganda. Importing all these slaves by the thousands into our empire and letting them set up their own ghetto's and little fiefdoms all over europa is a bad idea. We never should have accepted this open border policy being hoisted upon Rome. Yeah they all say they are just poor starving refugees that want to make Roma great again, but it's all just lip service. They hate Roman values, refuse to integrate and now I'm seeing nothing but graffiti in Gallic instead of Latin. Once they have the upper hand and we are weak those animals are gonna betray us and destroy Rome.
I swear to Mars, Polonius. Sometimes I just sit back an wonder "is this what my grandfather crossed the Rubicon for?"

>also
>AD 43
>germanic blondies eating roasted raw cuts of meat over fire
>not eating baked bread with a ration of salt like civilized humans

Gravissime spes mea nolite facere quae tu homines

>>33434888
>damascus from judea
>not superior noric steel

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noric_steel
>Noric steel was a steel from Noricum, a Celtic kingdom located in modern Austria and Slovenia.

>yfw you have to explain the joke bc nobody here is cultured enough to get the Glock reference without

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>>33436444
Homines estis et ego realiter sperare non faceret
centurioncostanza.jpg

>>33436444
The Empire is eternal, there is no reason to think why these slaves would not accept Roman values, do you not see our splendor? Surely no one can hold their savage beliefs and wish to destroy us once we take them in under our ward.

Besides, they do the work a Roman is not fit for, with their labor no free man will have need for work or want of bread.

Just drink your leaded wine and come to the Games with us.

Why do we have borders? We trade regularly with the barbarians, recruit them in our armies, and the military itself has adopted a lot of Germanic phrases.


Let them all in I say.

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>>33434856

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>>33436596
Venite omnes somnum my countrymen
>nubian auxillia
>et romanes
elige unum

But Basilius why would you need a high capacity Pilum quiver in your own domicile?
what are you a fucking nut job? just sitting at home eating olives and trading for spartan wine jugs with dozens of pilums just strewn about?

But what if some army of dark skinned savages invades our land and tries to sack Rome on Italian soil! I'm gonna need me assualt weapons to take down the ebil war elephants and chariots!
>Africans crossing the alps
>with elephants
>in winter
This is the kinda people that put Hadrian in power my fellow Romans. Good luck building that wall Britons! Just because a few dozen Romans were slaughtered on the floor of the senate by a few Dacians doesnt mean ALL Dacians are homicidal scum.

t. aristocratic vineyard owner and mass importer of Dacian slave labor to Italia

Not using XLV imperium ballista to civilize hispania

>>33435063
Man, even if you roll them, it's still going to be one damn tiring day.

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>Be deployed inna sandbox
>nothing but babylonian savages and pussy that could be featured in the coliseum as an opponent
>be lowly legionary just trying to make it back to fair Lusitania
>Legatus pro praetore complains about drunkeness and stray dogs everywhere
>Legatus legionis confines us to base. Centurions and Decanus get more and more sadistic as they are overwhelmed by boredom.
>Nothing but drills all day, turtle up! turtle up! turtle up!
>Get in trouble with dickhead Hastillarius for not stowing gladius in condition 1. Talking to me like I'm some fucking Tirones.
Get written up for insubordination. Unit threatened with decimation.
>Got sent to the POG bureaucrat Immunes in the rear for disciplinary action.
>Assigned to train Mesopotamian Numerus in tactics and formations
>Mesopotamian Numerus are so fucking backward, corrupt and lazy that even if Rome was here for another 2 thousand years they would still be fucking hopeless.
>fuck it. sand people gonna sand. just tune out the Ashur idolatry and pretend these savages wont revert to hostis publicus the second we leave the territory.
>nearing end of enlistment finally
>Evocatus comes up to me talking about how we need to be concerned about the Mediterranean right now
>Promises me Sagittarii school training for a year and then I'll be on the fast track to Optio or Signifier rank in a few years
>yeah fucking right
>take my ass back to Hispanium and still get anxiety when I even hear marching drills being performed

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>>33434888

Did the merchant look like this?

mosaic related, authorities are searching for him

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>>33439064
saw this when I was stationed in alexandria
>AD 43
>still using a sling and rock

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>>33434856
WHO
>INVASION OF BRITAIN
HERE?

Legio IX reporting! Gonna go fuck English slags and die of gonnorhea at 35!
What are your plans?

>>33435139
>germans pls go
this is a patrician only thread

>>33436318
>snares you in net
psssh.... nothin personnel pleb

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>>33439295
forgot pic....

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>>33434856
UGH... POINTY ROCK...IS... BEST ROCK... UGH

>>33435139
AD 43 not 12,000 BC. Take your grock 17 and make a cave painting out of your brains you unevolved plebian.
>>>33435057
>Year 797 Ab urbe condita
>Not wanting an eastern wall to keep out the dirty Parthian goat fornicators
Have fun being sodomized by a persian saber you degenerate.

>>33439254
>WHO
>INVASION OF BRITAIN
>HERE?
pakistan, india, jamaica, ghana, syria, turkey, albania, romania, afghanistan nowadays.

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>>33438259
bellum......bellum non mutat

>>33439336
>Take your grock 17 and make a cave painting out of your brains you unevolved plebian.
Don't fret Apollonivs, he's merely a long haired gavl barbarian

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>>33434856
Getting real fucking sick of these Romans in my fucking land.

If they ruin one more Sabbath I'm going to knife a sentry or two. All I have is this blade. but it will have to do.

>>33436444
>>33439708
fucking sicarii. time to build that wall around Masada again.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Masada
really remarkable that Romans were such bulldogs that they spent an entire year building a huge earth ramp and wall around the fortress until they were able to lay siege to them.
fun fact, sicarii assassins are where the term cloak and dagger originated.

>>33434856
http://historybuff.com/ancient-romans-had-intense-weapons-ban-debates-too-WBlmAPlKA2Yr

gladius grabbers strike again. enjoy "civilization" imperial citizens. me and my visigoth bro's gonna open carry into Africa.

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glockstrian sidearms are unreliable

>>33441094
I bought one like the plebeian I am. Shattered in my hand against a Visigoths shield. Fucked me up pretty badly. Now I can only touch my slave boy augustus with my left hand

>>33441114
You Romans and your homosex, I bet Greeks taught you that, too.

There is only one G*d and homosex is bad, okay?

>>33441138
>bad
That Jesus dude had it coming to him, this whole Christianity thing is just a fad.

>>33441114
etruscan detected. homo sex. best sex.
>not carrying around a dozen pelts to lay down on your scutum to enjoy a quickie with your barbarian slaying chums

fucking spartacus and his followers ruining everything. I swear if I have to listen to percussive driven music blared out of windows every time I go to the forum I'm gonna start burning down slave stables.

muh slave lives matter. muh slaves rights. if they were capable of doing anything they wouldn't be slaves.

>>33441230
God has no son. But at the rate you Roman faggots are going, your ancestors will worship him.

>>33441406
Next you'll be telling me people wont have slaves, and the barbarians from the north will rule the world. Hell, next you'll say that those blacks will be ruling the world

Im a time traveler from 2017. AMA

partim ex potentia XLV

I swear to god I just lie in my tent all night with a pilum aimed at the opening JUST WAITING for one of those fair haired light skinned snow nigger savages to walk in

when the celts are around, bad shit goes down

>>33439328
You do realize that one of our ancestors probably did figure that our first, collected all the pointy rocks, became a chief and fucked all the bitches.

Han-Dyasty >>>>>>>>>>> Roman babarians

>>33436346
This is the weapon that will end all wars.
That was the intention of it's inventor. It IS pretty scary....

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> ywn fight hand to hand combat against the germans on the rhine with your fellow legionaires
why even live

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>>33441432
Haha, he'll even say that those crafty little Merchants with sizable noses will be running the show in 2000 years! Guy's full of shit.

Who here /first cohort/? We always get the cool shit first and it fucking rocks. Check out what my Centuria got. Me and the fellows have been working that thing like a whore from Rome!!! Saw this thing hit a Briton and split him in half, it was mesmerizing. Gave me a half chub.

Can't wait to get back to Londinium. Our legion's getting cycled out with the XI up north of Hadrian's.

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NO HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US RRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>33436444

MOCKERY OF THE JEWS AND THEIR ONE GOD SHALL BE KEPT TO AN APPROPIATE MINIMUM

ACTORS, PROSTITUTES AND UNWANTED SALESMEN SHALL NOT ATTEND

>>33438259
>Talking to me like I'm some fucking Tirones.
>take my ass back to Hispanium

Talking to me like I'm some fucking Tiro. ftfy. thi is what happens when you have no actual formal latin training and just collect terms from wikipedia. O stultum hominem!

>>33442799
what movie is this?

>>33443378
>what movie is this?
http://www.primewire.ag/watch-5202-Rome-online-free

>>33443595
Danke

>>33436444
Sincerrime spero vos id non agere

t. Latin connoisseur

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>>33435159

>>33434888
>buying things in Judea
>ever
Ya dun goofed.

germanics using <100 lb draw bows
celts using axes and roundy woundy shields

I've been just sicking fuck huge mastiffs on these pathetic barbarians watching them get torn to shreds

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be captured inna Sardinia
>Ad primum ore meo sede in navi
>quis oportet me loqui
>statimque quasi lapis
>nimium fidus stipendiario
>nemo superesse hac quadriremi fragore
>erit magni dolores
>IV V

>>33434888
>Buying from Merchats of Judea

Son you are stupid or waht?

You dont drinked semen when child?

Gods Damn never buy anything from that strange people.

Lorica Segmentata is meme armor.

>>33448532
t. frankish faggot who thinks paint and feces will protect him from wounds

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>tfw all your private school friends constantly joke about how useless all the shit they learned is and how reading Lays of Ancient Rome and Ovid and stuff was a waste of time

I hope they never learn how jealous I am.

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>>33448248

>>33449149
>who is the burned man?
>why does he wear the bandages?

>>33448781
Never too late to learn, if I didn't discover it on my own I'd probably not care much either if I learned it in school

exitus acta probat suckers

>>33436318
that's... some nice waterpainting technique

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>>33434856
Some fucking Hellinaboos are cosplaying again in the square. Probably about to bugger one another while they're at it...

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>>33448248

>gladius
>43 AD

lmao