/k/ humor tred

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>>33388735

>>33388735
>beretta 92 for the image

triggered af, nice bait

>>33388735

Wow, that Colt 1911 looks a lot more Italian than I remembered.

>>33390574
>The joke is obviously that 15 Italians slept with her.

>>33390522
>tfw WW2 USA played Minesweeper with actual ships

No fair.

>>33391055
>assuming hickok isn't an immortal grandpa who has shot redcoats, the british again, confederates, nazis, etc.

>>33391025

>so, ah, de point of dees dreel is to use the weapon as a velocity projectile to de, ah, target, here we go

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>>33388735
>calibre

>>33391148

Oh Zero, don't you have some speed drills you need to be working on?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKortv3U71c

>>33388735
Why add the part about the 1911 into this joke?
Just say he had gun

>>33391310

Cause he uses a 1911. He needs to tell every one about his shit gun, act like it's some thing special.

>>33391055
>Someone screencapped a lame post I made yesterday
Y tho

>>33391098

Didn't you know that the legend of the Phoenix is based off Hickok? Every time he dies, his body burns up, only thing left is a pile of ashes and a 2 litter. In time, that 2 litter gets shot open from the inside, out comes Hickok45.

>>33391994
Wrong, the number increases after each regeneration, he is currently on his 45th regen, his next he will be Hickok46.

>>33391098
when did he turn into the bad guy along that timeline?

>>33388735
you mean forwards from grandpa thread

>>33390514
shouldn't there be a grenade under the barrel and not on the stock?

>>33391232
Holy shit that's something

>>33393428
Fuckin kek'd
Nice

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>>33390828

/ak/

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>>33393428

>>33388735
>1911s only have 7 bullets in their magazine

Is our really that low? I thought they where full sized pistols.

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>>33392395
He didn't

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>>33388735

>>33396755
Jesus Christ indeed.

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>>33393593
stop

>>33388735
My friend came home from San Diego last week told me a funny story
>At pendleton
>running to class
>looks over and sees this kid getting fucked over by a DI
>kid tosses cookies
>DI is furious and makes him pick it up and carry it with him

>>33397673
>first night at Navy RTC
>marching in a room single file, taking drinks from scuttlebutt so everyone can pee for whiz quiz
>I throw up straight water
>everyone has to drop drawers to the floor for urinalysis
>one guy drops his piss bottle, full
>they make him pick it up with his pants still around his ankles and waddle to the trash can to throw away bottle
>has to drink more water to piss again
long night for everyone.

>>33390514
for what fucking purpose?

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>>33388735
>>33390572
>>33390574
Alright, why don't we just try story again, exactly the same way, except with a P90 instead?

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>>33398202
Kek

>>33390825
this

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>>33393428

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>>33393593

>>33392395
t. Bong/Sweet Home Alabama/Wehraboo

>>33391055
>Gun Grandpa will die in your lifetime
fug...

>>33391310
Are you implying that your average 1911 fag isn't autistic enough to shout something like that?

>>33388735
Hah, man, my grandpa told me almost the same exact joke.
Miss that old fudd

>>33388735
That's a Beretta 92fs, though.

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>>33398655
>20,000-30,000 civilians were eaten

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>>33391055
DELETE THIS

>>33396645
It's a single stack .45 ACP. Those are big goddamn bullets. Full size or no.

>>33393593
Got me to chuckle.

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>>33393593

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>>33391055
This just makes me sad

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>>33398670
>An hour later and you're hungry again

>>33391055
I know this is fake because he didn't talk about the federal ammo he was going to use

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contributing

>>33391178
>caliber and calibre are both correct

>>33399109
asensiblechuckle.gif

>>33399179
>non-stop warfare
My sides, every fucking time

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>>33399179
>>33399266

>>33398373
not if i have anything to do with it

>>33390514
How does it launch that?

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>non stop moon warfare

>>33399435
>Rocks dropped from the moon have power of 100s of nuclear bombs

Damn, those golf balls they hit must of caused some real damage

>>33399278
Not this shit again, I joined the MI to protect little girls, not murder them.

>>33390514
You might be a redneck if your gun has a gun in it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCtLfLcDSNY

>>33399088

Wtf is this from?

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>>33399184
Fuck people like her

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>>33396755
>safety first

>>33399176
Stop it with that filthy pig Latin!

er not re. Speak the Queens or gtfo!

>>33399184
There is just no hope of saving that island.

>>33391994
Except he emerges fully grown and looks as old as he does now

>>33399088
I'm suing you for some new sides, anon.

>>33399195
major lollage

>>33399435
>The Moon is a Harsh Mistress
Moon penal colony when

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>>33393428

>>33391178
Si, muy calibre

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>>33393593

>>33393593
that's 80% more bullet per bullet!

>>33400223
We need better AI first.

>>33400452
what is this

>>33400930
SCP

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>>33400452
>Vegetarians on the "Kill On Sight" list.
>Never Trust Gypsy
>shits on the AR-15
>the whole "Don't" list
>sporadic chechen hatred

my sides.

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>>33400272
>tfw /k/ and /fit/ are your two home boards

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>>33401062
This guy gets it.

>Abu Hajaar did nothing wrong.

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>>33401596
>justice for Abu Hajaar

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>>33400452
>This isn't advice. This is murder.

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>>33391055
Boy if he kills the grim reaper, he becomes the grim reaper.

>The grim reaper is unstoppable
>Whatever he has to hit and kill, he kills
>The grim reaper is tall
>Hickok45 is already destined to be the new grim reaper.

>>33399299
>Oscar is a homeless Vietnam vet forced to live in garbage
Deepest lore.

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>>33393593
would be far more lethal if one were to shoot instead of throw.

>>33399144
I once asked my instructor if getting the cops called on me and getting sent to a psych ward by ambulance counted as being committed.

He said it didn't, thankfully. No court order. I still need to fill out that application.

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>>33398655
>>33398670

>>33399154
Loss?

>>33401673
Oh, as in I went willingly to my knowledge, and I wasn't sent to the psych ward by court.
LTC application.

>>33398521
what kids on /k/ think today.

fudd = old

one day YOU will be a fudd.

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>>33401628
If and when death comes i hope it is hickok45 to take me to the otherwise. I cannot think of any other say to go.

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>>33393593
>Primer on spent case isn't struck
120% triggered.

>>33401809
Not even kidding Im with you there anon

>>33399130
>C96
>dream gun
I don't get it, what's so great about it?
(I have one by the way)

>>33391025
This fucking kills me every time.

>>33399278
OP said funny, not edgy.

>>33391055
kek

>>33395617

mfw I had to think fast if I had ever done that one on camera.

>>33393565
we don't

>>33401893
>Looks cool
>Made by best firearms company of all time
>Is actually a high powered space age laser gun

>>33401878
That is exactly how private sales work though, except there's an off chance of 20 minutes of last minute negotiating because the son of a bitch tries to raise the price you agreed to online.

>>33402063
I'll admit it looks cool, and mine has seen unimaginable history.
>all the rifling is worn away and it was made during WWI

Is it mostly star wars fans that froth over them?

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>>33400452
>vegetarians on the kill list

kek

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>>33391232
Funny, but also very, very dark.

>>33391297
lol

>>33391098
He's from Tennessee. He probably was a Confederate and shot shithead yankees.

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>>33399179

>>33399184
>sharp

Those pumpkin carvers are as dull as a home-schooled kid from Minnesota. Fucking butter knives are sharper and I should know, I cut my hand open with one once.

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>>33402416

>>33393593
Give me Sauce from Youtube?

>>33391055
A "giant 2 liter" wouldn't be 2 liters. Why call it one?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YX0ikGHUK8k
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ke0-c12escE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nr1hefJpCx8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmIGsvO9jTA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0pL--iFjMc

>>33399435

>but its okay when the government can do it

>>33402799
please stop
pls

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>>33402214
>Is it mostly star wars fans that froth over them?
Star Wars definitely is a major contributor of the C96's popularity. And I know I'd like to get my hands on one and turn it into a DL-44.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6EQQnkUGIk

>>33402729
The correlation between scale and volume is a Euclidean fallacy that will not hold up outside of three dimensional space.

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this got a hearty kek when it was played

>>33402832
I unironically would put those on my colt 1911 gold and shoot with them.

>>33401714
yessir

>>33391055
>>33391098
>>33398373
https://youtu.be/XEEXdnEh-mU?t=8m6s
Proof Hickok45 is immortal

>>33393428
>le glocknade haha, i'm so funny
unironically kys

>>33403009
He personifies every target
I wonder who he's imagining

>>33399088
I smiled

>>33398373
This can be solved easily. Just kill yourself now.

>>33403038
>t. Gaston

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Hmmm...

>>33403067
Probably Ulysses S. Grant for the defeat of the South

>>33403319
Ayo hol' up, lemme just polish these rims real quick like.

>>33388735
thats a bredda emm nine tho

>>33400452
That is beautiful. Does an unredacted version exist somewhere?

>>33403356
>SKS
>jamming
okay im trigger'd now

>>33403356
>AR-15
>jam

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>>33403476

>>33403476
no, it slamfires

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>>33391055
>>>>>>>>>¦

>>33399435
>she's running for state senator

>>33403503
jamming and slam-firing are two very different things

>>33403558
yes. The SKS slamfires and the M16 jams

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>>33403578
>the M16 jams

>>33403594
the early ones...

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>>33403319
The T-34 bothers me more than the rims.

>>33398688
look a gif
oh it's not a gif
hilarious

>>33403607
>the early m16 that effectively doesn't exist jams

>>33402799
>Patented TNP barricade
why are they trying to load it like that?

>>33402822
>if there are none, click skip.
retard

>>33403825
It's a joke faggot

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>>33403649
Maybe you just didn't watch long enough.

>>33402618
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVrrt-nvDnQ

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>>33393428

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>>33403500

>>33403856
>/k/ and /pol/ visit zimbabwe

>>33403594
M16s did jam. horribly. albeit at no fault of their own

>>33390514
stockmountedgrenadelauncher.jpg

>>33403547
>she

>>33401062
Waddup /fit/ /k/omrade

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>>33399179

>>33399761
it's the Britbongs/Europoors that use the "Queen's English" which would make calibre the Queens...

seriously, just read a book sometime

>>33393593
Octagonal case and primer. Triggered.

>>33404409
Wait, it's retarded AND a tranny?

>>33403612
the fuck am I looking at, operation dessert storm?

>>33405441
Yes.

>>33398655

jesus christ what the fuck

>>33404031
That's a double feed from not placing the magazine properly in the well!

>>33406081
He's a big guy.

>>33406081
r/tv/ is leaking again

>>33405030
Thats Madrid, Spain. Feel homesick, Fuck.

>>33406081

Holy fuck is this actually real

>>33396744
God bless Sherman.

>>33399299
I lost

>>33404249
>Zimbabwe


Newfag detected

https://youtu.be/tBVDdr3wqm4

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>>33405030


I would straight up kill a nigga for a doner kebab right now.

>>33405570
Desu strum, senpai.

all though desu pretty sure its that one survival club anime but idk 5sure

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>>33398178

There's a mag in that magwell...

MFW AR 5.7 upper uses magwell as ejection port.

>TRIGGERED AS FUCK

>>33407887
Apparantly if you take out the follower and spring a 30rd STANAG mag will hold 50 5.7 casings

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>>33407745
I'd straight up kill a nigger.

doner kebabs are delicious though

>>33407973
That's actually kind of a nice feature if you reload. Don't have to go searching for brass at the end of a range day

>>33403319
Holy Fuck I go to the to that mall all the time its the Peachtree mall in Columbus, Georgia right next to university of north Georgia. Good to know Fellow commandos are around

>>33408604
I meant to say CSU

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>>33402788

>>33390514
>>33398071
So you can conceal carry while you open carry.

>>33408890
>flipflops
>that stance
>dyed hair
Go to the furnace. Do not pass GO. do not collect $200 neetbux.

>>33407879
Sabagebu

>>33408914
I'm thinking with that dyed hair, it could be Kari Byron.

>>33408914
Don't forget the foot tattoo.

>>33393593
Thats not how boolets work

>>33408890
I bet she's also wondering what the big yellow block on the muzzle is

>>33408261
It would be if AR57 didn't mangle brass

>>33403038
I would but I don't shoot glocks

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>>33388735

>>33403594
>>33403607
>>33403696
XM-16

I hear that the only real problem with reliability was the ammo; they used dirtier powder than they were supposed to. Also, they told the troops that they didn't have to clean them. So theoretically if you got an old XM-16, complete without the forward assist, made sure it was clean, and fed it clean ammo, then it would be pretty much as reliable as a modern M16A4. Theoretically.

Though it did have a couple legit problems that had nothing to do with reliability; no protective rib around the mag release to prevent accidentally hitting it and ejecting the mag. The flash hider could easily get hung up on stuff.

The M16A1 fixed pretty much all issues.

>Issued with cleaner ammo
>Issued with a comic with a pretty girl that shows the troops how to clean their rifle
>Issued with a 'birdcage flash hider' or some such thing, to prevent those prongs from hanging up on stuff
>Issued with a protective rib around the mag release to prevent accidental ejaculation

Ultimately though, and I know this is going to trigger people; an AKM wouldn't have a problem with dirty ammo or not getting cleaned. You'd probably have to worry about the metal corroding from the ammo before you'd have to worry about it becoming a jam-o-matic like the XM-16 became. So if you took care of an XM-16 and used good ammo, it'd probably serve you well, but the AKM is so reliable that it'd serve you well almost no matter what you fed it or what you did to it within reason. The AKM is also comparable in weight to the M16 design when unloaded. Even with a loaded steel mag though, a Russian AKM is what... 8.5lb maybe? Not bad.

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>>33410482
>Issued with a protective rib around the mag release to prevent accidental ejaculation
>prevent accidental ejaculation

>>33397844
>first night at Navy RTC
>marching in a room single file, taking drinks from scuttlebutt so everyone can pee for whiz quiz

>RTC
>scuttlebutt
>whiz quiz
Jesus, be more cringeworthy. Fucking nubs.

>>33410509
Thought you'd like that. Fun fact; the original printing of Sherlock Holmes novels featured the word 'ejaculate' to describe blurting something out or suddenly saying something. Holmes and Watson were ejaculating all over the place.

>>33396744
God damn Sherman.

>>33402310
noice

>>33388735
.45 Btfo

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>>33399036
My autism literally does this to me.

>>33398670

I don't know why but this response made me laugh really hard.

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>>33411194
Sherman was Gods damnnation.

>>33393593
I needed this in my life today. Thank you, anon.

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>>33399644
>Fuck people like her

Anon, fucking people like her is why we have more people like her. Wrap it before you tap it, or better yet, don't stick your dick in crazy.

>>33399154
Goddamnit.

>>33406525
4 u

>>33396744
>>33392395
Reminder that Abe wanted to deport the niggers and the Confederacy wanted to keep them all here. The eternal (((Dixie)))

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>>33412310
that reminds me of that story about that one general that just buried muslim terrorists with dead pigs and shot them with bullets covered in pig blood.

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Every single time.

>>33408709
I need that sauce for scientific purposes on studying the effects extracted pheromonal fluids from a female cervidae and its effect on luring male cervidae

>>33412691
Fuck I lost so hard.

>No
>chilluns go running to garden
>No no

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>>33398202

>>33413049
I just think it's stupid. Open carry of a handgun in NYC, and he/she doesn't think that it may be a cop?

>>33405570
Hearty kek

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>>33413093

>>33400223
Hell, even they were accelerating the rocks with a mass driver first. Or was it cargo shuttles? I can't remember.

>>33399114
>not using a suppressor as a fleshlight
fucking plebs

>>33401878
>>33402157

The joke is that he hit .38 and it's dispensed a 1911... Or a hipower or whatever that was supposed to be.

>>33410538
> Sir Leicester leans back in his chair, and breathlessly ejaculates, "Good heaven!"

>>33391055
>no FEDERAL AMMUUU
>no TALON GRIPZZZZ
>no GLOCK GLOCK GLOCK GLOCK

2/10

>>33414087
HAH!

>>33399088
Info? Wtf is this?

>>33403856

where's this from

>>33413049
>>33413354
Worst part is she's not even a Bong. She grew up in the US and just larps in the UK once in a while.

>>33413736
The joke is guns are easy to get you autist

>>33401062
>tfw /k/, /fit/, /out/, /g/, and [spoiler]/pol/[/spoiler] are your home boards

>>33414747
those are like the most common boards, and definitely the only worth visiting (besides maybe the car one occasionally.)

>>33413736
>he joke is that he hit .38 and it's dispensed a 1911

But .38 Super 1911's exist.

>>33414590
(you)

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>>33400452
>And the Foundation reaches a new low.

That explains a lot

>>33405627
>>33405441
>>33404409
Wait, Wu is a tranny now? Or have I just not been reading well?

>>33415734
Wu's been a tranny since what, 2014 at least?

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>>33415746
Oops. I can't remember shit, apparently.

>>33415734
>>33415746
>>33415776
Google "John Walker Flynt"

Personally I think it's a little too conspiracy tier and don't believe it/don't care enough, but whatever

>>33393593
> Not SUPERCALIburFRAGILeballISTIC.webm

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346KB, 1536x1024px

>>33401062
>>33401596
>>33401062
>>33414747
Tfw 4chan is practically my crazy but awesome family away.

>>33407745
fuck yes, this

>>33399114
lost hard

>>33403612
*Said weeaboo.

Did you remember Pearl Harbor? you fucking scum.

>>33391171
>TriggeredConstables.jpg

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>>33412969
that story is "disputed" but Blackjack Pershing saw the hell on earth early modern warfare could and would become and decided it was home

>you will never fight Pancho Villa as part of the Mexican Punitive Expedition and illegally invade 350 miles into mexico with 10,000 men to the extreme asshurt of the mexican government to drop hand grenades on revolutionaries from a Biplane.

>>33416167
Do you also side with the "destroy history" mentality that has demolished Germany in the past 70 years?

>>33408709
so uh... sauce?

>>33413056
>>33416538
https://e621.net/post/show/529981/2014-anal-anal_hook-anal_penetration-anthro-anus-a

>>33401062
same but also /v/ and /ck/ I'm not ashamed to admit it

>>33393428

>LOOK MOM I POSTED IT AGAIN

File: 3452346347345.jpg (82KB, 720x720px) Image search: [Google]

82KB, 720x720px

This was a little diddy for Toto the elephant mercenarie of /k/tv for kidz.

Some drawfags said they were going to draft up some concept a few weeks back but seems the idea died off. Hope they finished.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1gEsEW2LNKM

File: 1488630568357.gif (2MB, 300x170px) Image search: [Google]

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>>33393593

>>33333333

>>33408002
>>33407745
Well in Germany we have good Döner Kebab.

>>33413093
Still more accurate than the media narrative.

>>33399130

The most triggering thing about that post is that the quote from Scrubs is just "where do you think we are", not "where do you think we are right now". The worst part is that having that post at the end would have been so much better if they'd left off the "right now" part.

>>33405030
>no lo utilices si tienes mas de 6 anos
>Do not use if you are older than 6 years

>>33414577

>she

Nope.

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>>33399200
the name chesnokov rings a bell for some reason. did he do music or something?

>>33399620
All of them.

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>>33411399

File: 1424699395895.jpg (23KB, 225x175px) Image search: [Google]

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>>33393428
bazooper