If the universe was written in source engine

>>33380856
War would look like ricochet.

>>33380877
Dubs of truth confirm.
>tfw nobody to play ricochet with

>>33380856
Play GMod with military mods and you have your answer.

>>33380856
It would be a living hell.
Doors would be death traps if there is anything blocking them
If you sit incorrectly you will clip through vehicles.

>>33380943
>vehicles
>not strapping stilts to your feet and concjumping to work

>>33380856
>need to do espionage on enemy base
>infiltrate the base and gather the information you need
>abh outside of it and into your base in under 10 seconds

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Probably lots of noclip while opfor collectively shriek about how their brothers work for steam in the voice of thousands of 12 year olds

>>33380856
DARPA reps would hang out in build servers and take notes on who produces the most monstrous physics-fucking abominations. The best would be recruited by the Pentagon.

>>33381427
>That feel when I would be a respected aerospace engineer and would have been since I was about sixteen

>>33380856

I'll be happy as long as I get a Titanfall 2 Jump kit

And I can Slide Hop

>Allauh Ackbar
Replaced by
>Bomb has been planted

>>33380856
>strafe running is now a valid strategy

>instead of nukes the cold war arms race is both sides trying to make a better aimbot than the other

>>33380877
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2ADkeCTlG0

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>>33380856
>none of you glorious faggots said rocket jump
It's like you don't even wanna be MLG.

>>33380953
>>33382377
And no, concjumping isn't the same thing you one-eyed Scottish bastard.

>>33380856
>visiting grandpa on his deathbed
>tearful goodbyes exchanged
>it's time
>heartrate spikes, then drops to nothing
>grandpa goes limp
>his arms and legs clip into the hospital bed, kicking up dust and making clanging sounds as they spasm
>bed lifts up sideways before slamming into the wall, killing everyone

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>>33382482
I can see it now in all its fucked up glory.

>>33380856

>explosions are somehow powerful enough to send you flying while at the same time not shredding your body or liquifying your organs

Orion drives everywhere

>>33382482
kek

>WMD level terrorism globally as ISIS uses weld tools on everything on sight in major cities
>Ball of welded together bullshit is indestructible and smashes everything in its path

the air force and space program would consist entirely of people sitting on metal plates and lifting them underneath themselves.

>>33380915
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWIEKH9wT6I

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>>33380856
>WW2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VI84udzDeA

it would like like a fucking video game dipshit

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Do that Shit where you crouch but when you look through the scope it's like a foot up and you headglitch ledges
>Become the greatest sniper in history

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>>33382482

>>33380856
we would light wood boxes on fire until the server crashed.

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>>33382482
>t projectiles travel at light speed but seem to have a random chance to disintegrate harmlessly when they hit a target, Much to the frustration of the shooter

>>33380856
I'm not drunk enough for this fucking thread. If it's still up in four days, I'll have something to say about all this fuckery.

>>33388312
I'm currently about as drunk as I'm regularly willing to get, and I'm still not drunk enough for this thread.

>>33380856
Landmines are replaced with empty cans to a much greater effect.

>>33380856
Death run would be a form of extensive training .

>Delta/SAS operators raid an ISIS base in Syria
>Mohammad reports back to his superiors about yankee pigs jumping backwards at incredible speeds
>Combat engineers break through cages holding prisioners by hitting them with a crowbar twice
>Exfil the hostages by jumping backwards, hostages can now run at nearly 2,000mph so they can keep up
>One operator apparently got caught between a rock and a technical, vibrated on the spot for a second and then was launched into the stratosphere, destroying the technical in the process
>ISIS commander stands up in outrage, the barrel of his AK nudges a pen on his desk and he is flung across the middle east and lands in the indian ocean
>as he struggles to stay afloat he is crushed by Jamal who is desperatly trying to control his airboat

>>33389751
These stories are fucking toplel keepem comin /k/

>>33380856
>>33381112
>>33382325
>>33382346
>>33382482
>>33382651
>>33387300
>>33389751
makes me think a world shaped by the source engine is the one which results in the TF2 history.

>Rocket jumping was invented before stairs
>Abarham Lincoln was a pyro

>>33380856
It would be funny as hell watching people ragdoll and flip all over the place like a gay spaz wacky infatible baloon guy when shot.

>>33380856
>height of the cold war
>US and USSR engineers and scientists working overtime to out do each other.
>Spies working overtime to steal sekret dokuments.

>USSR decides to build the ultimate weapon

>they take a single SS-18 ICBM, and load it with nothing but aluminum cans and pencils
>using the most secret of methods, they also insert a 20MT thermonuclear warhead within each can
>using the GREATEST of care, they gingerly stack the cans and pencils into the payload bay
>they set the missile to air burst at 200,000 feet, moving N to S, at a 60* angle, spreading nuclear cans and pencils across the USA
>the citizens of the United Source of America won't know what hit them.

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>>33389751
>>33382482

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>>33380953
>not building up speed for 12 hours and crossing 4 QPUs to get to work

Okay TJ """"""""""""Henry"""""""""""" Yoshi

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>step on a lego brick
>entire leg sinks into the floor

>stub toe against table leg
>contort into several impossible positions and fly into the atnosphere

>>33380856
>be operator during WW2
>20 miles away from target
>simply aim at the general
>blam, he dead in an instant
>soldiers starting gliding on the ground in panic
>one of the news guys starts shooting in every direction in panic
>shoots one of the arty shells
>catches fire
>explodes, causing most of the other shells to fly in separate directions
>causes a chain event of arty shells flying up and down the trenches and flies homeward bound
>devastates the entire German army and industry
>one lands in a maternity ward
>I get banned from real life for spawn killing

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>>33382482
>>33389751

>at range, RO bullying me for not complimenting his 1911
>strafe side to side and shoot his feet, he headshots me and bunnyhops backwards to escape
>he's instantly permabanned from the range for RDM

>working motor pool during OIF
>gun truck towed back all shot up
>smack it with a wrench 10 times
>all fixed!

Motor pool is a tough job.

>>33380856
Crashing the server would be the equivalent of ending the world.

>>33391322
HAHA! holy shit this is definitely accurate!

>>33387258
underrated

>>33391157
Now I'm imagining Super Mario 64 in the Source engine

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>>33395728
>Not just removing it and pasting another from duplicator

sv_cheats enabled
god
noclip
impulse 101

Universe in source ?

Just pick up phys gun
Aim on my bed hold fire
jump

... fly 50m into air
dont need even car ez gg.

>>33382482
Fucking kek