What is it like being a submarine crewman?

>>33365145
INB4 Racism or retarded frogs
FIRST POST BEST POST

>>33365145
like being in prison except you get paid more.

>>33365145
It's like living in a gym lockerroon for 3 months at a time

>>33365145
Extremely gay

like being in a spaceship where everyone is suicidal

It's round and hard and full of seamen.

Probably gay as fuck. I bet the women are popular around there

>>33365145
It's a cramped, hot, sweaty, and gay metal tube that you have to spend a few months in with the exact same faggots every day. But you get paid.
Submarines are for people who hate themselves and love money.

>>33365285
top kek

>>33365145
http://www.cracked.com/personal-experiences-1276-6-things-movies-dont-show-you-about-life-submarine.html

You literally breath farts and eat piss then you work next to enough explosive and toxic material to destroy billions of human lives while grazing your dick or ass across other men's bodies every time one of you has to go somewhere the other doesn't.

>>33365412

Whoops meant "drink piss".

Its recycled though.

Absolute shit. It's marginally less shitty if you're an officer. And even when you're an officer, everyone hates you and thinks you're a pompous asshole, usually for good reason.

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>>33365412
>>33365426
you are a fucking retard the water is fresh Reverse osmosis water made from seawater. it is a higher quality than what comes out of your tap and even most bottled water

>>33365412
Don't be so daft. All fresh water is made from a big evaporator powered from the aux steam system or the newer subs / retrofitted ones have RO units. why would you recycle piss if you are literally surrounded by water and have effectively more power than you use...

>>33365412
Sounds like a party.

>>33365145
It's cramped and smells awful. Cuts get infected really easily because the oxygen levels are low (for both conservation and fire control.

did it for a few years as a meteorological station device operator (yes this is a real job and a rather important one). Highlights, at least on my boat, include:

- Instead of usual NJPs, we got to wear cotton long johns. This is an issue when you're in an environment surrounded by warm computers.
- Other punishments include the XO drawing dicks on your face.
- The only reading chair in the reading room has a schedule and hot bunking is utilized.
- The only game device is a PS2 with it's ethernet port glued shut, because Internet connected devices are banned shipwide. We had a single copy of Madden '04 and Burnout Revenge.
- Any crewmember found with an Internet-connectable device, lighter or smokes gets to take a dip.
- "Taking a dip" = cleaning the 4' dia septic collection tank.
- People who volunteer to take dips get good boy points and aren't NJP'd when they are found with other types of contraband (read: alcohol)
- Occasionally, large fish run into the hull especially if it's been stopped for some time. As a result, sometimes you hear something resembling tapping on the hull and this makes new crewmembers nervous.
- EVAs are the scariest fucking shit. Imagine sitting in a very pleasant, well-lighted room then having the lights go red as it fills with water. Then you have to step outside into pitch black darkness, the only thing you can see is the big black dildo that you were residing in a few minutes ago. Then you have to sit there for twenty minutes while the people who actually know what they're doing do their job, until you can do yours (usually holding a light, helping maneuver a device, or turning a key). Sometimes you're just put out there just to watch other people (safety first). Also the whole time you can physically feel the presence of anything moving.
- having someone scream underwater because a fish got into their pants will cause everyone else to piss themselves too
- some types of epoxy are water-soluble

>>33365412
Why would you have to reclaim waste when you're literally surrounded by water and oxygen?

>>33365296
Trust me: female submarines ARE indeed sought after.

But:just like any submariner, they get nastier and nastier the longer the trip goes.

So you wanna bang a chicken after 1 1/2 months in a boomer, you will see greasy hair, grown out hair dye, unshaven pits, puss, legs. And she will be just as sweaty and only emergency level hygiene as you.

That disgusts you? Yeah, now, but after said 1 1/2 months you wouldn't care

>>33365892

or you can just jack off into the head. Roasties who act up will find all their customers choosing to jack each other off instead. Also roasties who decide to compete against each other is a lot like alien vs predator.

>>33365919
Roasties=Females?

>>33365145
hot bunking sounds awful. not even a clean bed.
officers never hot bunk tho i assume?
officers have seperate quarters

>>33366025

Officers hot bunking is not uncommon since they spend more time around the XO thus there are more opportunities to piss him off.

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>unqualified sub guy here
>Groton sux hot balls
>Dirtbag literally tried to tell me you can work on Heroin in Navy
> Heard shrimp love eating our shit
>18hrs of work a day until you get dolphins (qualified)
>If you dont they will send you to surface
>Tube faggots lol
>Dont be Clastraphobic
>Ohio class ftw

>>33365168
Wtf

>>33365892
> Grown out color
> Greasy hair
> Hairy armpits
> Hairy muff
> Hairy legs
> Sweaty

You sound like thats something bad?!

Would bang the SHIT outta such a submariner-cunt

My Uncle actually used to be a bubblehead. He said it wasn't that bad except it gets boring after a while underwater with nothing to do

>>33365168
This is my favorite namefag

rebreathing your own farts for 6 months.
sleeping in the sweat of your hot-bunking bedmate
hoping no one screws up when they take out the trash and sinks the boat
eating really shitty food for prolonged periods of time.

>>33366505
>really shitty food

German here. A colleague of mine was a submariner for the better part of his 12-year service. And to this day he still tells us how awesome submarine food was.

Of course I saw Das Boot, so I asked him and he told me that in modern times (with fridges and shit) sub-food not only is better stored but the higher Navy heads understood that morale of a crew, especially under water, where there is a lot of boredom, stands and falls with the quality of the dishes.

He said that during every trip he gained up to ten pounds of weight and that the meals really were the highlight of every day.

Is US-Navy sub food so much different from that? I mean you guys got nuke subs with much more possibilites of storing and preparing real great stuff?!?

>>33366861

that person is pretty much just spouting their opinion.

"hoping no one screws up when they take out the trash and sinks the boat" is based on ww2 bullshit, nothing to do with modern subs.

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>>33365145
There used to be an exhibit at the Imperial War Museum London where you could stick your sneezer up against a vent thing and it was supposed to smell like the inside of a submermeme. It smelled like ass. That is all I have to offer on this subject.

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>>33365285
Kek

>>33366888
>333
>66
>888
Dam Son, thats pretty awesome

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>>33366427
>liking namefags

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>>33365809
Stories please

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>>33365168

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>>33365145
They're basically the people the navy wants to keep away from other people. Sort of like having an insane brother locked up in the attic or at best, a crazy uncle who comes around at christmas- then stick them in a smelly metal tube that reeks of human misery.
My own unfortunate experience is something called 'joint operations', which lasted 6 weeks and was a fairly classified security experiment, not something I would volunteer for- but they took stock of the most likely candidates in the unit at the time and decided that someone who (barely) survived scuba, could use a boat, good navigation skills and experienced in communications, 'make us proud son!'
Then began my cat herding to find another poor 7 souls for this lunacy.

Lot of people see submarines as the big nuke boomer types of things, but forget that's probably the apex of the design, everything else is a comparatively small tube full of engineering and in our case, diesel and batteries. Already packed to the gunnels with food, men, porn and all the things that make life possible- then they're expected to find room for 8 other tourists, 2 inflatables, all our guns, armour, scuba and shit. At the time I was the 2nd smallest in the team at 6'3" and 230lb... the rest are basically the biggest, most fearless, fucked in the head mutants that would come along.
>You cannot move without bumping your head
>Bruising your shoulders
>Bashing the shit out of something that might mean we all sink to the bottom and die horribly.
The only thing comfortable in this space would be a legless midget

So the 'Silent Service' already hates tourists, then they're expected to put up with us running around in the 2sq ft of personal space that is their miserable lives. What you first notice is the smell, which is a locker-room reek of BO and damp, then theres all the noises of pumps, people and the other random shit that goes on. Dirt and smell we can handle, the lack of light and weird noises. Not great

>Cont

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>>33367364
Essentially you need to be on your guard 24-7 or they'll ratfuck your gear- patches, berets, helmets, shoelaces, fucking anything they can nick and keep as a souvenir. Once its gone, its gone and you'll never see it again
Literally- I posted guards!
Because the other hobby for people in submarines is that they'll prank anyone, lube in boots, random bits of engineering used for things it shouldn't and under NO CIRCUMSTANCES do you let your socks out of your sight for less than 10 seconds. The other reason is that while we can take a joke, if you fuck with someone for long enough, they will snap and pull someone's spine out through the top of their head. I don't really want to explain the Cpt Ahab about how one of my guys murdered/maimed one of his guys, so the less chance of conflict, the better.

About week 3, we've been out and about, done our stuff and back in the boat and I think that actually makes things worse.
Even running around under the night sky, breathing clean air and not smelling especially great ourselves- you go back into the pig boat and realise just how fucking rank it is down there.
Its not even because the ship is 'dirty' (though we trucked a load of dirt back in!), but its literally just man-stank, canned food and that slight tinge of ozone, septic system, lubricants and chemical cleaners. Literally if you want to know what its like- get a metal water tank, fill it with a bottle of bleach, bottle of engine oil, 20 used rugby jerseys,open cans of chicken soup, tinned tomatoes and a chemical toilet- that's pretty much what its like. Just add farts

Now, to be fair aside from having no room, no sleep and being miserable- we worked out, planned stuff and did what exercise we could, but its nowhere near the hours the subbies where putting in. For the average sailor on what is essentially a 'combat op' they're at it 12-18hrs a day, cleaning, cooking, watching flashing lights, maintaining gear and they work like fucking dogs

Subs suck

>>33365285
>It's round and hard and full of seamen.
not "long, black, hard, and full of seamen"

>>33365145
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmGuy0jievs

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>>33365145
>be sonar tech
>wake up
>can't tell if it's day or night but I don't really care
>didn't get much sleep because faggot jimmy snores like a walrus
>get to work station
>stare and nothing and pretend I'm busy
>play chess by myself or occasionally with cook-cook
>stare at nothing and pretend I'm busy
>watch tokyo ravens and hyouka for the 9th time
>eat delicious food
>stare at nothing and pretend I'm busy
>sit in the torpedo room and read some spooky books while I shoot the shit with Oldman sam
>get on watch and stare at nothing and pretend I'm busy
>goto bed after a long day
>fucking jimmy starts snoring again as soon as I'm about to wake up
>repeat until you get diagnosed with claustrophobia after 3 years when the psych fags ask you if you have any weird dreams and you tell them you had a dream of opening the hatch because it was too hot and I was sweating
Sweaty pic kind of related minus the fact that I'm not a cute anime girl