Military Experiences thread

this post makes me upset

this did not happen

also:
>current year
>being a jarhead

>>33362358
>>33362361
Share actual experiences or get the fuck out of my thread kids

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>>33362380
come on dude

>>33362323
>ITT: shit that never happened
>implying anyone in boot wouldnt slap your ass silly and make you qual with irons just for being a CoD fag

>>33362398
>not a contribution
Get your garbage off of my post! Military experiences ONLY
>>33362424
HEY GET OUT OF MY THREAD
This is for military guys only. Keep your crap off

>>33362558
Make me, me

>>33362588
Fuck you faggot
I can't believe that I spend my valuable time makinga thread where WE COULD ALL LEARN valuable experiences from mil guys and you civies go and cancer it up
I hate you dumb civies.
I put my ass on the line every day and this is how you repay me?
You pretenders will regret this some day. And I will laugh
*fades away into the night

>>33362323
There i was, straight outta space camp. I had just been issued this M94 LMG Laser, we were nearing the planet Mars on our spaceshuttle. Suddenly, a horde of alien creatures attack us. Luckily me, being a expert shot sniper door gunner ranger delta black ops marsoc, i was able to get 150 of them until we pulled away after being pushed back. Damn aliens. After getting back to earth, i was awarded 13 medal of honors, 6 purple hearts, and every other medal in existence. After another 8 tours of inter-dimensional space travel as the lead door gunner of the U.S.S BUTTOCKS, we finally made a push on them damn aliens on the planet of Venus. I got promoted to general in the CIA Marine Raider SAS Spetsnaz, now i mostly do paper work. OOOOAHHH Soldier!

>>33362717
Really faggot?
This thread isn't a joke. IT IS A SERIOUS THREAD FOR SERIOUS POSTS
Get the fuck out of here

>>33362323
>, I was guide and honor graduate and went to Special Ops training right after that. Told them I didn't even want my 10 days of leave, I couldn't look at my family the same way...


...and then you woke up with jizz all over your Spiderman underoos...

>>33363125
You haven't heard if the space Marines? I seriously doubt you are in the military

>>33363228
Shut up faggot.
Get out of my thread
>>33363172
Contribute or LEAVE
Those are your choices

>>33362717
Five star post nigga
>>33363125
You have to admit that was funny as fuck.
>Even (you) had a laff hunter 3-1 actual

>>33363374
No it wasn't fucking funny.
This is a serious goddamn thread and that was a bullhsit FAGGOT story
I'm starting to think I'm the only real spec ops man here since all of you kids just troll and make shit up

heh

I signed up as a reservist and the only role open was as a cook.

Went through basic and scored better than perfect on everything, they immediately promoted me to Field Marshal.

Needless to say all the grunts look up to me and respect me a lot.

>>33362323
I'm not telling you where yoi are wrong, it might make your bs more believable next time.

>>33363526
Nice.
Now that is an actual contribution
Thanks fellow soldier

>>33363789
Shut the fuck up you retarded dumb kid
You civies ruin every thread you are in
Military service should be mandated to post on /k/

>>33363801
Stop pretending to be me, faggot.

>>33363791
Your mom is my fellow soldier.

>>33363801
Right? Then if it was, my faggot ass wouldn't be able to post here.

>>33362323
>silencer
Kill yourself

>>33362323
this is pasta but you still got replies, gg

>>33363840
>>33363852
>>33363869
>>33363926
>>33364024
CONTRI>>33364024
U>>33364024
TE>>33364024
OR LEAVE
I hate you goddamn civie posters

Why are Marines still issued A4's when everyone else has moved on to M4's?

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>>33362323

>>33364283
>>33364310
contribute or leave civies

>>33362323
Didn't your name use to be Hunter 2-1 Actual and you got banned? This was years ago mind.

>>33365514
Hunter 2-1 was weak. I destroyed him
Also, contribute or leave my thread

>>33365532
AMEN BROTHER FUCKIN CIVIES

>turn 20
>when libo starts go to the town
>buy a bottle of vodka
>drink vodka
>walk back to base, almost get thrown to drunk tank due to slipping while showing my papers to MPs
>talk them into letting you go
>report to duty NCO upon return to barracks
>get to your billet
>"fsck I forgot I still had this bottle in my bag, better hide it before-"
>squad leader enters on a completely unrelated business
>sees the bottle
>ohshit.jpg
>get a good chewing the next day & 72h restricted to quarters
>EAS the minute the restriction ends
>go home
>get drunk
>volunteer for an exercise the very next day
>participate in various exercises for three years and a half
>your performance is nothing special, though there aren't any screw-ups on your part either.
>get promoted to LCpl essentially for simply not screwing up during the absolute minimum time between promotions.

>>33362323

>recommend to the Range Instructor that they put better attachments on these things
>chat it up for a minute, talking about how much you could increase aim stability with a foregrip and a comp

"Chat it up?"

With the Range Daddy? And you being a boot?

I call bullshit. WHEN does a 'boot' ever have time to stand around "chatting it up" with the Range NCO? That guy is busy trying to run a live fire range with a bunch of unqualified bumblefucks - it's like herding cats - and you expect me to believe you just walked up...

>Hi! I'm Schmuckatelli. Listen, I know you're a Marine Corps NCO and all with shit-tons of experience, but here's my professional opinion on this here M16A4 after being a boot for the last 15 seconds...

Dude... you would have been reduced to individual boot molecules... or at least I would have when I was a fuckin boot. But that was about 35 years ago... maybe they have time to stand around and shoot the shit these days...

>put an AFG, IR sniper scope, and a silencer on my rifle

Really? INFRARED? Last time I checked, only the fucking Fire Department used Infrared. WE use the AN/PVS-17. Which isn't the same thing.

A thermal imaging weapons sight is a pretty rare piece of kit and only applicable for certain situations - obscenely expensive, it wouldn't be just handed to some Schmuckatelli boot for qual with a tendency to break every-fucking-thing...

And a "special ops" type would know all this...

>silencer

Really?

This one word discredits your entire bullshit story, Walter Mitty...

FFS... you make me want to fucking puke.

>>33367340
Ya blew it

>>33367340
Triggered by pasta

>bootcamp
>military experience

>>33362323
the only 'chat' your going to get from a noncom in boot is 'ROLL LEFFFFT! ROLLL RIIIIGHT!'
now unfuck yourself and get me my burger ya cherry.

>>33367393
>>33367435

>OP got chapped ass at being outed.

Get fucked you poseur... lying fuckin fraud.

A thread died for this...

All hunter posters need to be banned and hunter posting needs to be made a bannable offence

>>33367340
Ah, the classic double bait. You've been studying your Ruseman manual.

>>33370000

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

>>33370787
different anon, who cares about your service in Navy SEALs, *I* served in the Finnish Para Jägers aka. "Maroon Devils" & after mustering out joined the Special Jägers, I have seen action in Afghanistan even though my government will never admit having sent us there, I'll have you know I have carried out many operations against the Taleban and/or Al-Qaeda that as far as the rest of the World is concerned were carried out by Americans (true enough they gave it a try every time & failed every time before we were called in & we succeeded in what Americans didn't)

>>33367340
Why did you do this.

you newfags ruined my thread
I wanted actual experiences. not garbage posting
Get the fuck out of my thread and off my board
You all disgust me
you know who you are

>>33362323
>being this edgy
wow man thanks for yr 4chan servoc marin

>>33362323

Be me. Be Marine. Be downing vodka like it's water. Be fappin'. Be watching the clock until I ETS. Be getting on the floor. Be doing the dinosaur. Be giving him $3.50 because he's really the Goddamn Loch Ness Monster. Be looking at him. Be a big guy. Be 4 me.

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I've been reporting this guy's shitty trolls posts for 2 days and still the mods haven't caught on to this shitposting spree and banned him

>>33362323
Bait is obvious
Thinks 250 on range qual is special
>silencer

Retard

>I became marine raider right after boot

I fell for the bait, god damn it

>>33362323
>Hunter 3-1 Actual
can someone just post a picture of this faggot so everyone can understand just how fucking special this kid is?

>>33362323
>but you're pretty good
>you're pretty good
>pretty good

Hey, you're pretty good

>>33362323
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Sad!

>>33373370
It's because it's not one guy.
It's a living meme.

Years ago Hunter 2-1 Actual was a super shitty tripfag that everyone hated and talked a lot like this, just more toned down.

Now people occasionally pretend to be him in the spirit of being a retarded call of duty playing stolen valor teenager for fun.

It's a meme, ya dip.

>responding seriously in a hunter thread

>>33362323
>7th week of basic training
>scored perfect on my M16A2 qual, marksman ribbon
>honor graduate
>haven't jerked off since fucking my gf the night before I left
>I'm not the same man anymore, got a Dear John letter from her a few weeks before
>ice cold emotionless killer now, and the MTIs can tell
>around 4am
>suddenly wide awake, shoot upright in my bed
>PT shorts are full of hot steamy jizz from the wet dream I just had
>shocked, no idea what to do, cum soaking through my underwear
>run to latrine and go into stall
>take off underwear, put PT shorts back on
>rip my laundry mark off the underwear and throw them in the trash
>go back to bed

>>33362323
>Gotta poop
>Porta-shitter just around the corner
>Start poopin
>It's hotter then fuck in the pooper shed
>Fall asleep
>No one looks for me till the next day
>Best sleep of my life
>Best poop of my life

>>33362323
>Brand new boot
>Anyone thinking your opinion matters

I'll take things that didn't happen for $500 Alex.

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>>33373370
Edumacate yourself

>>33362323
You are the fucking worst namefag on this board. You are literal cancer.

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>in the AOR
>before my shift
>group commander walks into room
>"good morning warfighters"
>mfw im making french press coffee from hand ground beans and bullshitting while 50ft away armed warplanes are being flown in a combat zone
>mfw i'm MQ-9 squadron level intel
War is hell

>>33374562
No, you are. Fucking Anonymous asshat. I see you replying to yourself all day. Do you honestly think no one would notice? Well, fuck you.

>>33374601
You must live a sad and lonely life.

>>33374618
In his defense, it's super fucking easy to troll the everloving shit out of /k/. They're only matched by /v/ in terms of falling for bait.

That said, hunter, didn't you die for a while? Like squid and marisa or whatever. You should do that again.

>>33374721
I agree it's easy as fuck to troll /k/, but his shit isn't even creative or funny. He literally just spends all day shot posting in every thread.

>>33362323
>nly let the SOCOM guys use these, but you're pretty good. So I'll let you put some of this on your rifle."
>>put an AFG, IR sniper scope, and a silencer on my rifle

This is the horse shittest horse shit shit I've ever read in my entire life.

>>33362323
I've seen this pasta before, don't remember where
Also >using IR in daylight without going blind
>suppressor increased accuracy

>>33362323

this is pasta

>>33362323
>someone saved my pasta
i'm both proud and ashamed of what I've done

>>33374525

kek

>in Kuwait
>waiting for helo to iraq
>stuck at cam buehring in the tents
>everyone is dropping loads both brown and white in portajon
>during the surge as logistics aren't thought through, portajon filled to the brim
>take shower go to shit
>miss my tp cushion and get smurfed.
>freak out and run to grab shower kit
>friends let me know how many loads just splashed back onto my ass
>finally get in shower ace Ventura style
> get shit from everyone when I get back
>laugh about it then jerk off in my cot with 100 other dudes in the same tent
>blow the fattest load since flying here using my little first gen ipod screen

>>33374821
I barfed a little in my mouth.

>>33362424
WAIT... YOU QUAL W/O IRONS NOW?

LOL WAT?

>>33374367
Where is Squid???

Jesus christ this thread

They weren't kidding when they said /k/ was the "training grounds" for trolls

>>33362323
When I joined the Marines, I was a weak little pussy, so I got through boot camp by sucking my DI's dick. It turns out that in the US military's gayest fighting force, being down to fuck is a useful merit, and I quickly rose through the ranks, stopping at the lofty Warrant Officer 5. Years of bros sharing their protein inside of me has allowed me to become quite jacked, so now I just spend all my time working out and sexually harassing men.

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>>33362323
fake as fuck...

>>33362323
>"we really only let the SOCOM guys use these, but you're pretty good. So I'll let you put some of this on your rifle."

Yeah nah
You know how I know this is bullshit?
The Lance would've smoked you for a year when you said that gay shit in the first part

The RI would've smoked you for 10 in the second part

>>33364283
Because our budget is table scraps tier

>>33362323
Post proof faggot. I bet you are some over weight call of duty greasy neckbeard sitting in your parents basement.

>>33375295
^ this, he'd have had it worse than Gunnery sergeant hartman on Private Pyles

>>33362717
More believable than hunter 3-1 autist's post.

>>33362323
ITT: All these people falling for a years old copypasta.

>>33362323
>there i was, at Dick Sucking camp
>*otherwise known as the Marine Corps training camp Paris Island*
>first day
>MARINES! ATT'TN!
>Oh no, its Instructor-san
>TODAY, YOU WILL LEARN HOW TO BE A FAGGOT AND SHIT POST ON CHAN!
>the day has come
>when i can actually be myself
>start typing away
>go to the daily /ARG/
>"heh, thats nothin', kid. That AR is terrible!"
>"Your AR is disgusting!"
>but don't actually contribute
>my DI
>DI, for all of you non-Marines, stands for Dick inspector
>"GUYS, GET OVER HERE!"
>both the DI and ALL THE KILLHATS RUSH OVER!
>they're so impressed with me that i become the class hard-on

>>33375395
Good story anon but you forgot to mention that Marine Corps boot camp is actually now held in Ground Zero of the Twin Towers

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>literally everyone in this thread took the bait

>>33374721
You summon Marisa by typing
Five-seveN

Ya don't even have to repeat it 3 times.

Bit off topic, does the 'Military Diet" really come from the military or is it just bullshit. And does it work?

>>33363926
Kek

>>33362323
come on, if your gunna be retarded like the actual hunter 2 1, make more call of duty referances and call special ops, "specops" exclusivly

>>33362717
you served on the ol 2 cheeks huh?
shit I was a cook on that vessel for 2 years. everybody loved soylent saturdays. and guess whos idea it was

I miss PD91, guys.

>>33362323
Instructor took one look at me when I got off the bus for BMQ and nodded. Forty-five minutes later I was on a ghost flight to a black site in the Canadian Shield.

They tried to teach me how to use firearms, but I told them it was dishonorable and that a true warrior only uses a blade.

I left my old Masamune at home, so I crafted something superior in my spare time. The base commandant, so hook nosed kike they called Colonel Shekelberg came up to me and said...

"Davidson, you're the finest warrior this black site has ever seen... That is... Besides me."

I laughed, his little joke was almost amusing... But the real humor came from how pathetically incorrect he was.

I drew my blade... And Shekelberg took a step back, putting his hand onto the butt of his pistol.

He drew, pretty fast I suppose, and fired. I cut the bullet in half with one swift slash of my katana... And with a twist, I sent both shards back at the Colonel and put one through each of his beady eyes.

And that, gentlemen, was all before lunch on my first day at BMQ.

>be me
>be inna iraq
>in some shitty convoy manning the ma deuce
>some hadji with a peice of glass rushes convoy
>freal out and fire 7 second burst in hadjis direction
>chops hadji in half and destoys some other hadjis market stall with burst of fiddy call
>1st Sausage yells something about ROE and wasting ammunition
>get smoked bootcamp style for so long, I wished i joined the YMCA instead

>>33367340
What the fuck do you even know, civilian?

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>Join up with the UNSC
>I'm so good in boot camp that they beg me to become an ODST right after
>Take them up on their offer, become an ODST without breaking a sweat
>Then comes the real action
>During my first battle, I single handily hold off the Covenant from my position for 1 whole week
>My kill count was so high that I stopped counting after 6,969
>Come back home a hero, get awarded every medal available
>so many medals that they have to invent new ones just for me
>Those juiced up orphan Spartans still get out of my way when I'm walking down the hall out of pure intimidation and respect
True story OP

>>33377012
That's kind of good. One day you might get on my level.

>>33377012
The UNSC has a POW medal you blueberry fuck
It's the only one the Master Chief doesn't have.

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>>33375277
Those hippies at Kent deserved it

>>33374509

probably only true story in this thread

First some bad memories.

-Unit trains rangers and recon switching every few years. Recon guys have the latest toys military has to offer. Us rangers get nearly all equipment from the 80's because apparently "we'll die anyway".

-Regional Office messes up and sends too many new conscripts to the unit. Instructors don't send anyone back initially but just increase BS level. After six moths (half way for me) over 40% have been sent away due to reasons ranging from stress fractures to psychological problems. HQ gets angry.

-Training different movement styles in a sand pit because why not. Crawling for hours in the sand. At the end of the day everyone has road rash in their arms, legs and stomach and some are bleeding. Unit's nurse almost runs out of gauze and bandages.

-Instructor throws satchel charge at us to see how fast we take cover.

-At live fire exercise. Everyone should sleep at least six hours a night. Nope. We spend our nights burning wet leaves and twigs in a big bonfire because the training area needed to be tidied up. Combat shooting feels a bit unsafe when you are about to fall asleep.

-In the woods. Someones ruck isn't properly camouflaged. Team is ordered to move our supply stash from point A to point B and back in the middle of night. After 20km and hundreds of kgs of equipment moved back and forth, everyone has properly camouflaged rucks.

-Cleaning the barracks. A bit of cosmic dust is found undera a bed. Repeat cleaning 10 times every evening.

-There's still more cosmic dust. Our room is seized because "we can't keep it clean enough". Everyone sleeps outside.

-In the woods for the Nth time. Not even the rainsuit is waterproof. It's December, sleet pouring horizontally for a week and temperature is around 0C. All clothes are wet after two days. Nothing burns in the tent stove. Near the end no one bothers with the tent anymore and sleeps in wet clothes under some big spruce. Whole body hurts for a month afterwards.

>>33378033
And then some good memories.

>November night
>Base has been set up atop a high hill
>The moon is full, stars shine and a few clouds float slowly across the sky
>Kilometers of gloomy forests lie before me
>Being on guard duty was cold and beautiful

>Another week of pain behind and a tired group is waiting for a ride back to garrison
>Unexpectedly the head of the NCO course commands everyone to stand in formation
>Says he is very pleased with what he has seen in the exercise and grants everyone the fir twig patch (sissihavu in Finnish) in advance
(Imagine going to Ranger School and performing so well that you are given the Ranger tab before graduating.)

>Last exercise of the NCO course is nearing its end
>It has been raining sleet the whole time and no one has dry clothes
>Last mission is to get back to friendly territory from behind enemy lines
>This takes exactly 12 hours without breaks
>We've passed three surveillance lines, many rivers, even more kilometers and had a few close calls
>Our team leader sheds a manly tear, when I say that I have an unopened bag of candy waiting in my rucksack
>Sauna and a warm sleeping shelter is waiting for us
>It took an hour to detach boots from my feet, my whole body was hurting and I almost fell asleep naked in the sauna's dressing room but I felt relieved, if nothing else
>Next morning our instructor tells us that we shouldn't have made it through our final mission (which was probably empty words to make us feel better but it felt good at the time)

>Back at garrison after a live fire exercise
>I'll go tell our instructor that our rifles are ready for inspection
>He congratulates me and says that I've been chosen to be a sniper team leader

>Last evening in the forest
>Sun is shining calmly and the Russian border can be seen across a lake
>Captain has caught a pike, which we eat while bathing in sauna

>>33362323

I had something similar happen to me too.

>be me
>2009
>Hajji insurgency getting pretty fucking rough
>reading about it at my Corsair Battlestation with dual monitors with twin SLI graphics cards, 60fps baby, console peasants suck it
>knock on the door
>get up, adjust clothes, make sure katana is strapped on my hip nice and tight
>answer the door, it's two pussy marines
>"Sir, my name is General Mattis, I'm here to offer you the chance to serve your country. How would you like to put that blade of yours to use?"
>I consider, got a clanwar in like 4 days... gotta carry the team like always. But some things are more important than CS:GO.
>"Let's roll," I say

36 hours later I was in Unspecifiedistan, put down damn near 100 hajjis with my blade, and rode an SR-71 Blackbird back to the US in time to win the compy too. President Obama sent me a personal congratulations on Facebook.

But I probably shouldn't be telling you this, it's classified top secret after all.

>>33362323
This abso-fucking-lutely did not happen.

>>33375115
We use RCOs to Qual now

>>33378505
Go fuck yourself kid

I wanted a nice thread where people fucking shared REAL EXPERIENCES
Instead i get trolled by retards
Sick of all the civilians on my board

>>33379062
There are real experiences in this thread.

>>33379076
Minus all the garbage (durrrr hurrrr that didn't happen)
Worthless civies ruin every thread

>>33362398
The joke
You

>>33362358
>>33362361
>>33363172
>>33363789
>>33365514
>>33367340
>>33367451
>>33371983
>>33367460
>>33374063
>>33374261
>>33374535
>>33374562
>>33374618
>>33374729
>>33375277
>>33374730
>>33375339
>>33378505

This applies to yall too
>>33379192

>>33379192
>>33379245
Contribute or leave civies

>>33364259
FUCKING CIVIES GET OUT OF MY CHRISTIAN MANGA

>>33374509
>Air Force
>ice cold emotionless killer

pick one

>>33381242
>Chair Force
The only thing ice cold about them is their drinks

>>33362323
weak Parkourdude91 wannabe detected

>>33381498
>>33381511
Fuck off civilians

>>33381598
wow fuck you civie stop pretending to be me

>>33379062
Honestly I've met some civvies IRL. And they were the kindest and some of the best people you would ever meet.

I don't think a real sniper would objectively hate as much as you hunter
3-1 actual.

I bet you were dishonorably discharged and stole valor

>>33381673
>>33382462
Contribute or leave civilians
This is my thread and you will follow my rules

>>33374525
This is the only true story in the thread.

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>>33362323

>be me
>be 18
>enlist into CAF
>basic at CFLRS
>week 3
>still don’t know what im doing
>epitome of “shitpump”
>inspection 0700
>had shirt hanging from night before so did a shitty fold literally 30 secs before the Sgt came busting down the door
>put shitty shirt underneath others hoping instructor doesn’t see
>MCpl is section leader
>MCpl is all that is Infantard
>MCpl lays into all combat arms dudes
>goes soft on Chair Force and Navy
>comes to my cube
>checks my dress for lint on beret, buttons done up, boots polished etc.
>walks into cube and first thing this fucker notices is the shirt
>picks up shirt “anon, what the hell is this?’
>”it’s a shit job Master Corporal’
>’why is it a shit job?’
>”I was rushed”
>”no excuse anon, everyone else here was rushed and they managed to get their shit done, how come you didn’t?’
>’idk’
>”YOU DON’T KNOW!??!! A FOLDING LIKE THIS SHOWS LACK OF EFFORT AND LACK OF EFFORT SHOWS THAT YOU DONT WANT TO BE HERE AND IF YOU DON’T WANNA BE HERE, YOURE WASTING MY FUCKING TIME!!!!”
>whips open locker
>everything that was once in locker is now on floor and hall
>dumps canteen all over DEUs and whips it down the hall
>empties ruck sack all over floor
>walks over to bed
>”your hospital corner’s not 45 degrees”
>flips my bed over partition and into next guys cube
>tells me 50 push ups in calm voice
>walks over to my FTP (fire team partner or battle buddy if you will)
>checks his dress
>walks into his cube
>”WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE 2 MATTRESSES!??!!!?”

>mfw

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>>33385046
50 kek's to anon

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>>33363926
>tfw you find out suppressors are cataloged as "silencer" in the stock system

>>33362323
I'm not even going to dignify this with a response

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>MCRD San Diego
>near the end of training, get a little too relaxed
>walk out of head, exhale and brrrt my lips
>DI is inspecting shit on service alpha coats near the front of the squad bay by the guide's rack
>hears my brrt
>were you just beat boxing?
>uh, no sir...?
>yes you were
>wut
>since you want to beat box, you're going to do it for me on fire watch
>yes sir
>you'll be on second hour because thats when I'm on duty, who can rap?
>dindu recruit decides its time to shine and volunteers his services
>later that night second hour of fire watch rolls around
>DI isn't there after 20 min
>think i might get out of this retardedness
>remember i joined the Marines and am therefore retarded, and thankfully someone else will sill step up to make it retarded
>fucking dindu rap master recruit WANTS to do this instead of just skating out of it
>walks up and pounds on the DI hut
>other DI walks out wondering what the fuck we want
>retard explains the situation
>Latino DI says the other DI isn't around but we can do it for him
>I'm white, don't beat box
>make shitty attempt, dindu gets into it asking me to speed up and slow down the beat
>actually turns out to be an ok rapper
>DI eventually tells me to shut the fuck up and go away
>starts up convo with dindu about rapping
>i go to bed and recount my mistakes that lead me to this point

>remember I'm a reservist and only have to play Marine once a month and will probably never get sent anywhere


>my face when people thank me for my service

>>33362614
>serious thread for serious posts
you are going to need pics with timestamps otherwise b8

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>>33385046
>”WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE 2 MATTRESSES!??!!!?”
fucking kek