is border patrol a /k/ approved job?

>>33308496
Are you getting paid?

>>33308496
>/k/ approved job
Having a job, any job, would be the first step in a right direction for 3/4 of the people on this board, /k/ related or not.

>>33308654
/Thread

>>33308496
I'd imagine that it would start to really suck after the first day or two.

>>33308681
Especially in the mexican desert

Seems like a boring job, manning a checkpoint all day.
>"Are you a US citizen?"
>"Yeah."
>"...OK." :^(

>>33308496

>TFW safariland holster

>>33308496
>getting paid to shove illegals into boxcars at gunpoint and hunt coyotes in the beautiful Southwestern desert
shit I'd do it for free

You have to wonder how many illegals ended up being "mysteriously shot" trying to cross the border

>>33308885
Plenty of ranchers down in the Rio Grande Valley with stories of finding dead beaners...

>>33308885
What's crazy is there are stories of border patrol agents shooting Mexicans who are on the Mexican side of the border, and courts being like, "yeah, it's cool."

>>33308980
To be completely fair they were in the process of running bales of drugs across the river. As for the other sections of the border no idea

>>33309001
The case I was thinking of was where an agent shot a 15 year old who was fucking around, throwing rocks and stuff.

>>33309060
Nothing of value was lost. Probably prevented a future burden on our health and penal system anyways. Fuck border Spics .Even the Mexicans from Durango to Hidalgo and surrounding areas will say the same.

File: cool as ice.jpg (537KB, 2048x1365px) Image search: [Google]

537KB, 2048x1365px

>>33308496
by far the most A E S T H E T I C fed law enforcement agency

>>33311009
>ang unit
>read as bang unit
>I want to bang that blonde
I need to get laid, christ

>>33308496
I got stopped by the Border Patrol on the highway when I was literally still wet from swimming across the Rio Grande. They asked me if I was a US citizen, and I said, "Yep." They let me go without even checking to see if I had a driver's license. And we wonder why we have so many illegals.

File: 1489551822046.jpg (257KB, 697x497px) Image search: [Google]

257KB, 697x497px

>>33308654
FPBP

>>33311086
Were you walking or driving?

>>33311116
Driving. I even had guns visible in the back of my car.

File: 1482563984673.jpg (52KB, 512x512px) Image search: [Google]

52KB, 512x512px

>>33311133
Wait, ARE you a US citizen? Why were you swimming across the Rio Grande? Why did you have a car full of guns waiting for you in the US? Are you a character in a Coen Brothers film?

File: 14895534309021797508110.jpg (1MB, 2560x1536px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 2560x1536px

>>33308496

>>33308496
I love how the angle of the shot makes the agent look huge, I know him and he's like 5'6" max.

>>33311201
Yes, I am American. I did it for three reasons
>fun
>wanted to be able to say I went to a foreign country, but didn't have a passport
>wanted to prove a point about how inept the Border Patrol is and why we need a wall.

>Are you a character in a Coen Brothers film?
I wish.

>>33311201
>>33311250
>Why did you have a car full of guns waiting for you in the US?
I had just finished hunting.

>>33308496
>is it a job
Check
>are guns in the job description
Check
>/k/ approved

File: 1487812166404.gif (4MB, 1227x669px) Image search: [Google]

4MB, 1227x669px

>>33308496
Well someone has to keep the beaners in check.

File: latina girl.jpg (433KB, 2048x1536px) Image search: [Google]

433KB, 2048x1536px

>>33308496

Buddy is a Border patrol guy he says if you want trigger time go to Texas or New Mexico. AZ, you'll get it but most of it is concentrated along Texas and New Mexico.

>Mid 2011
>Be him tells me he was a foot patrol near Jaurez-El paso station one spring evening
>Over radio his buddy calls out
>"Got 4 bodies moving towards your direction, looks about 120 yards and closing in"
>Runners or what?
>"Can't tell, stand by...."
>Makes his way towards his jeep to get his NVGs
>PING FOOSH PING PING PING
>FUCK!!!
>THEY'RE ARMED!!
>"AFFIRM WE'RE SENDING BACK UP HOLD ON TIGHT"
>Fires his rifle south and south east practically blind firing into the dusk desert darkness
>"THEY'RE HEADING DIRECT SOUTH BY 40 FROM YOUR POSITION"
>Unloads two worth mags in that general direction
>"YOU GOT ONE"
>CONFIRMED?
>"THEY'RE CARRYING HIM, STAND DOWN COME BACK TO THE CHECKPOINT, WE'RE SENDING A BIRD TO SURVEY THE AREA
>Back up arrives in their dune buggys providing a convoy style escort back
>Jeep hit with .223 near his gas tank


Bud told me he took a vacation after that, a year after that he got relocated to California. Also, says if you live in the border towns and work for border patrol you have to keep your job a secret like some batman superman identity shit. Too fucking scary and hard to trust anyone. But he got laid alot with the local tail.

File: 1332368557159.jpg (12KB, 240x240px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 240x240px

>>33311009

>MFW its always homeland security agents that look the most tacticool

>>33313389

I know for damn sure in the New Mexican an Arizona desert you find bodies left and right. Especially children.

Desert climate is truly a mean existence.

>>33308654
Second Post Best Post

>>33313389
any more stories from your buddy? Be it getting in firefights or otherwise.

>>33308702
Almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter...

File: thug pro wall.webm (3MB, 854x480px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 854x480px

Border patrol sucks

imagine a dog, running in circles chasing their tail.


That's border patrol.

>>33313721

Only other trigger time he got was one time along the Cali perimeter

>Be 2013
>Doing routine fence patrol
>Noticed a kite hanging on the fence
>went to remove it when out nowhere somebody peers over the fence and let's off 5 shots near his jeep
>FUCKING COWARD!!!
>Fires half his mag at the top where the guy appeared from
>"Heads up hes peering over again at your 3 o clock"
>Soon as the guy peered his head he emptied his mag and bud tells me all you heard was a thud hit the ground followed by 2 people saying hurry up in Spanish
>Did I get him?
>"Can't tell... stand by we're checking the cameras"
>Truck noise on the other side
>"You got 4 more on the other side, back up is 2 minutes out"
>Bud retreats behind his jeep
>Mexicans on the other side are saying something about the kite along the lines of useless distraction and drive off
>dune buggy patrol convoys back to station
>bud gets back to patrol but on the western side towards the beach this time
>upper level says very rarely does that happen "usually they take pot shots and run"

>>33313389
>>33314016

Kek, both times they shot at his jeep.

File: Screen-Shot-2014-11-09-at-8.00.53-PM-540x281.png (75KB, 540x281px) Image search: [Google]

75KB, 540x281px

>>33314110
I guess Mexicans hate Jeeps.

Mexican here: don't shoot us you fucking trigger happy gringos.
Not like I'll ever have the need to cross that border, but whatever.
>>33309105
While I agree there are many people that come from here (but also central america) just to ruin it for the rest of my people who go there to actually work, I also know that generalization gets us nowhere.
>From Durango to Hidalgo
Hey that rhymes.

File: image.jpg (91KB, 850x637px) Image search: [Google]

91KB, 850x637px

>>33314214
If you obey the law we'll have nothing to worry about.

The Border Patrol should have wheeled and tracked AFVs for defensive armor and at least .50 BMG to take out opponents.

All borders should be militarized and anyone crossing without permission shot on sight.

>>33314247
>All borders should be militarized
End yourself.

File: 960[1].jpg (48KB, 960x540px) Image search: [Google]

48KB, 960x540px

>>33314214
American here: stay on your own side of the wall you crime happy muds.

>>33314406
Make me.

>>33314625
No

>>33314351
Found the beaner. My country is my fucking property. I advocate defending it, served my career defending it and would cheerfully do again like my ancestors before me.

Apologies for the one Yankee soldier though. Secession is the right of free states.

>>33314625
Please just know countries suck purely because of the people in it. And Mexico sucks (which is why people leave it). And it sucks because of people like you.

>>33314213

>YFW they mostly drive Silverados and other heavy trucks

>>33311086
do you look white? that's the real question.

honkeys are so famous for doing inexplicable things that further exposition would not have been relevant.

>>33309060
Yeah if I remember correctly the agent thought the two boys were crossing so he took one of them and shot randomly in the other's direction without knowing where he was. A bullet caught the kid's head

>>33316979
noice.png

>>33308496

Looks depressing as fuck desu.

>>33313389
Shit. I'm applying to be a city cop in a large ass department but something about working BP in the Southwest appeals to me.

>>33308496

http://www.breachbangclear.com/wanna-border-patrol-agent/

>>33318339

>yfw this thread spawned two border patrol threads

>>33314229

Would you happen to know what mask that is?

>>33320661

Do you think if he took it off he would die?

>>33314016
>>33313389
God I fucking hate spics so much. Mexico clearly cannot deal with their own fucking problems, at this point we need to send in the military to deal with their criminals a la the Poncho Villa Expedition.

If I had absolute authority over the matter, I would have carpet bombed that entire shitskin country the second those beaners put a scratch on an American citizen

>>33309060
Don't throw rocks then. I'll never understand why poor retards throw rocks at guys with guns. I don't know if the kid was throwing rocks at the agent but it sounds like a typical poor retard mistake.

>>33308980
Good, fuck em. If Mexican police won't take care of their trash we'll take care of it for them.

>>33320744
>>I would have carpet bombed that entire shitskin country the second those beaners put a scratch on an American citizen

They've attacked Ranchers in the past and killed one I think in Arizona

>>33320703
It would be extremely Radiating

>>33320744
>Pancho* Villa Expedition.
You remember how that went anon?

>>33320839

To be that deep in the zone hes probably a big guy

>>33320804
I know, they do that shit all the time and we let them fucking get away with it. And then fucking spics have the god damned audacity to say Mexicans dindu nuffin and evil white people vilify them.

Like I said, if it was up to me, Mexico would be a fucking crater. My buddy's girlfriend got killed a few years back by some spic drunk driving. No papers, obviously, drunk out of his fucking mind like the worthless lazy wetback he is. If it weren't for the fact that the cops arrived on the scene before my buddy I know he would have plastered the sidewalk with that spic's brains.

>>33320744
>>33320804
>>They've attacked Ranchers in the past and killed one I think in Arizona

WHAT THE FUCK?!!? THAT SHOULD'VE BEEN A DECLARATION OF WAR.

Killing U.S citizens in our own territory by foreign aliens that can't be controlled by some shit hole 3rd world. And the U.S never dropped a hammer on that shit? Thats fucking bullshit.

>>33320851
You realize the US military pre-WWI was pretty much a joke, right?

>>33320804
>>33320878
>>33320880

That and they kidnap U.S citizens from time to time. Either sell them on the organ market or sell them into human trafficking. Yet people ignore this and focus on muh feelings "for innocent immigrants" and the bullshit of Mexicans reconquering the American south west.

File: 1434563173664.png (1MB, 668x788px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 668x788px

>>33320930
>kidnap American citizens
>human trafficking

Holy fucking shit. If I had a group of a dozen or so like-minded individuals I would head down to Texas and Arizona and start wasting these worthless spics

>>33308751
If he's brown the conversations goes a little different.

>>33314625
Thats what the ARs are for retard.

>>33320983
Get a border ranch in the middle of nowhere and I'd come wax spics for free.

60% or more fail the polygraph when trying to become a border patrol agent. as someone that has taken it himself. I can tell you that all the rumors on the internet are true. they will stop at the criminal part and beat you up for a hour or two to make you confess to anything and everything.

if you actually get through the whole polygraph. then you get picked up. anyone that didn't get through it, is never picked up. don't believe them when they say they might give you a second one. I even had my congressmen try to get me a second polygraph. if you fail the polygraph, you are blocked from trying to be a border agent again for 2 years.

the polygraph examiner will not believe you if you said you have done nothing. which I did for 2 hours. I haven't done shit. as I have been in the military since college and applying to be an agent. during that time I was either in iraq or japan. so I had no opportunity or desire to commit any crimes.

it isn't about finding liars. as the machine really can't do that. it is about finding people that won't work for the narcos and can give convincing testimony on the court witness stand.

my examiner was a tall old guy. grey hair and beard. claimed he was an officer in the army. that he has given polygraphs in Afghanistan.

>>33320744
>Mexico clearly cannot deal with their own fucking problems
Well it's hard to when the cartels have their tentacles throughout the government all the way to the top. It indeed would take military intervention from outsiders to remove the cancer.

>>33308654

Hands down the best 4chan post I've ever seen. Thank you for your service young man.

File: 80968760.jpg (56KB, 640x417px) Image search: [Google]

56KB, 640x417px

>>33322019

polygraphs test scare me when it comes to job interviews especially in law enforcement.

cousin tried to apply to FBI (we have an aunt who's in the FBI who hooked him up) and he told me that he failed his 2nd interview with them.

I heard a rumor that they bring up your internet history (such as porn sites you visit) and probe you on very intimate things to see how you react. Something about gaining your loyalty and seeing if youre really willing to get into this shit.

can any anons confirm?

>>33322019

my cousin got in the BP with just a college degree. Hes been in for about 4 years and works with ex rangers, marines, and a bunch of MIL dudes. They all live in AZ i think and get paid riverside county money because they work the blythe outpost. Sounds like a cool gig.

>>33322120
>I heard a rumor that they bring up your internet history (such as porn sites you visit) and probe you on very intimate things to see how you react. Something about gaining your loyalty and seeing if youre really willing to get into this shit.
>can any anons confirm?
i'm a current federal agent, although not FBI. and yes, one of the interview portions, unofficially, is to purposely dig into you. under your skin, get you to admit anything, directly lie to you and brow beat you into saying anything that will make you fail. generally speaking, they don't want people who will crack easily under harsh language, and for people that have done absolutely nothing it is very suspicious as everyone commits misdemeanors and felonies daily, but are not caught, or it's so not worth the time/effort that they are never processed.

the most common are operating a vehicle after drinking (not being drunk doesn't count, if you have had any alcohol within about an hour of driving, it's often a felony) or underage sexual contact or "soft" drugs like weed, cigarettes, alcohol when underage or at all.

>>33322120
Confirmed
It's really any 3 letter organization the feds run
Its just to see where your loyalty lies and how you deal with the pressure.
It's kinda like a short sere class I thought

File: 1484725001298.jpg (277KB, 1000x784px) Image search: [Google]

277KB, 1000x784px

>>33322192

>brow beat you into saying anything to make you fail

What makes you fail? Exactly how are you supposed to pass this test?

Let's say for the sake of arguement you've had maybe 3 speeding tickets and you've dabbled in soft drugs like marijuana and lsd in your high school years. And just to throw in a 3rd random equation you've had sexual relations with a family member

Are you supposed to be honest about these things and admit them?

Or are you supposed to deny whatever they manage to dig up on you even it's it's true?

>>33322342

Im pretty sure you just lie and deny everything. You have to believe your own lies. The honest people get fucked

>>33320852
U U
U U

>>33308496
Border Patrol is legit harder to get in than the army with not as much benefits. The NBR keeps pushing it how the Boarder Patrol needs more "Agents" but I can see why nobody wants to join.

>>33322342
they don't tell you why you failed - it's usually either being dishonest or the interviewer gets a bad feeling about you, et c.

the test is meant to weed out people that can't shrug off doing something bad for a greater good.

>>33308702
To fucking hot out there, don't want to spend all day dying of heat just so some wet back drug dealers can try to kill me.

>>33311133
Are you some white nigga with no accent? I'm Hispanic, without a accent and clear signs of being American and I've never been stopped by border patrol I've passed my pistol pass the great wall multiple times along with "illegal" amounts of low priced Mexican wine with out a issue.

>American?
>yes
>move along
Every single time

>>33309060

>Interviewing for the Border Patrol right after this happened
>Have to answer scenario involving lethal force
>They seem satisfied with my answer, reference this event
>"Last week a 15 year old was throwing rocks at one of our Agents, now he's throwing rocks in heaven."
>Barely maintain composure

>>33314213
Yup spic drug dealers love there chevy and ford's bit every so often you'll see one of them with a tricked out wrangler and if they're just showing of with a big useless truck they'll have a dodge

>>33321021
Can confirm. It goes more like:
>"Are you a US citizen?"
>"Yeah."
>"...Are you suuure?"
>"Yeah."
>"OK." :^(

File: 1421998376720.jpg (64KB, 876x493px) Image search: [Google]

64KB, 876x493px

>>33314213
>inferring

>>33322786
What the fuck!?!?

>>33308959
Can confirm. I'm not that far from the border since my uní dorm is here. Joining ice soon to fuck shit up. >>33308959

>>33308865
You live in america right? You can just not legally or i guess illegally cause most places coyote hunting is year round no limit and lets be real if you bury some illegals whos gonna say anything?

>>33308496
>uncle who I greatly respect has been in BP for 22 years
>done all sorts of cool shit
>used to go visit him as a teen when he was a FLETC instructor in New Mexico, he'd take me around the base at night
>set me up shooting full auto MP5, UMP45, HK416, and M240, with NVGs
>23yo two semesters short of a college degree but fucking hate the idea of an office job
I want to join BP but don't want to be at the whims of DHS and I smoked pot for six months in college. I guess that eliminates my possibilities for any LE job.

>>33323897

They allow for youthful indiscretion of pot as long as it was years in the past and didn't result in a criminal convinction or some shit.

I forget the specifics, but if they didn't allow people that smoked pot a few times in their distant past they'd have half their numbers at best.

What are the requirements for becoming ICE?

>>33323896
>lets be real if you bury some illegals whos gonna say anything?
PETA

File: qlmkrDU.gif (2MB, 450x450px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 450x450px

>>33314625
Sure thing

>>33318339
Working for the fed is almost always better than working local.

>>33308654
F

File: 20170209_033523.jpg (3MB, 4032x3024px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 4032x3024px

Border Patrol in AZ.
AMA

File: 1417316697366.jpg (67KB, 616x699px) Image search: [Google]

67KB, 616x699px

>>33308496
Watch this movie to see how life is as a BP agent
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0419294/

>>33324310
Are you going to enjoy the 120 degree weather as much as me?

>>33324520
Ha Ha. I'm on the midnight shift so it's not that bad. I've had too many IVs for heat exhaustion to try to chase fuckers in peak summer heat ever again

>>33320661
Looks like an MSA Millennium CBA/RCA

>>33324005
This, benefits are better and you can usually get through the door in other fed agencies if you wanna change your career later on.

>>33324520
For a moment I had forgotten I was in Arizona and I laughed. Then I got sad that the cold is gone and the heat resumes. Feels like we had a legit winter this year, didn't it?

>>33322557
Can't they just do what China did with it's Marines and get 100000 soldiers from the army?

>>33322120
Well if they get me thinking about porn, all that's going to do is make my heartbeat spike because I'm aroused.

File: 1452058745734.jpg (74KB, 1032x774px) Image search: [Google]

74KB, 1032x774px

heh duh, 1 out of 5 of those are isil.
the others are 2of 5 killers we cant send back after finding even Mexico would kill them, 1 out of 5 should do his fucking paperwork to get in .
fucking retards.

>>33324478
Man, Dr. Who's got a bit of a mouth on him, doesn't he?

legalize drugs but still ban their import. legalized prostitution, but with a strict regulation on sex workers. develop farm machines that can pick fruit,nuts, tubers, and veggies currently harvested by hand.

most of the border problems go away.

My dad was an agent for about 7 years. He told me plenty /k/ related stories.

>tracked people through the desert for days
>got into shootouts with border bandits
>found cartel execution victims
>got into fights with drug runners/cartel members
>shot an unspoken number of people
>got spooked while innawoods
>had a DPS trooper jump in his car and force him into a high speed chase that ended in the DPS trooper shooting the driver of the suspect's vehicle.

I can elaborate on them all. Hell. I can text him and ask about any of it.

File: 1486651943042.jpg (66KB, 460x369px) Image search: [Google]

66KB, 460x369px

>>33311009
>ywn eat her ass after a long day of making America great again

>>33324310
How hard is getting a transfer after a few years of your inevitable first assignment in a shithole?

>>33308496
Border Patrol is just Uncle Sam's Canoe Club without the Canoe's.

>>33322786
XJ is best J

>>33326726
pls do
the spooped innaborder one first tho

>>33327154
Well. He has several spoop stories but this is the first, and most crazy.


>South Texas
>dad is with a new agent, as a FTO
>they are walking in a pecan orchard, the owner said he thought prople were using it to sneak around a BP checkpoint.
>sure enough, hole in a fence, trash, tons of pecan shells.
>start patroling the area.
>the new agent keeps saying "what was that"
>dad tells him to stfu and stop looking up
>"But sir, look!"
>new agent is freaking out and starts screaming
>dad looks up
>what looks like a flare is floating about 50 feet above them
>it begins to grow
>grows from a small, sparking, red ball into a huge blue-white orb
>stays over them for minutes
>dad is on the radio asking about helicopters or aircraft
>dispatch basically tells him "lol no, you're crazy."
>light then shoots straight up into the air and disappears.
>new agent is literally laying face down in the dirt praying
>dad picks him up
>throws him in the truck
>they go to McDonalds and take an early lunch and quietly freak the fuck out.

bumper

File: 1465632059587.jpg (418KB, 1350x1072px) Image search: [Google]

418KB, 1350x1072px

>>33314214
>don't shoot me while i cross your border illegally
nice try José

File: 1489601584559.jpg (227KB, 677x782px) Image search: [Google]

227KB, 677x782px

>>33327298
tfw your dad almost got killed by a mexican UFO
moar

>>33314214
Everything you people touch turns to shit.
Lived in south Texas, McAllen, Harlingen and Brownsville. No fucking difference from Iraqi's.

>>33327298
>ayys kidnap mexicans from the border so we dont have to
>lmaos confirmed bro tier

>>33327408
>be dad working a checkpoint
>he's sitting in his truck with the AC on full blast
>told me he was just happy he wasn't outside on the 105 degree day.
>DPS calls on the radio
>they are chasing a car full of Mexicans that ran a dude over at a gas station after attempting to rob it.
>dad pulls his truck up to the side getting ready to chase if they show up.
>the vehicle is a fucking minivan
>he can see it, with a line of DPS troopers behind it. The van goes off the fucking road and somehow blows around the checkpoint and then speed off on a small dirt road that was attached to the nain road, on the other side of the checkpoint.
>dad had to reposition his truck since the van went around
>as he gets ready to head out a DPS trooper, without saying a word, yanks his door open and jumps in.
>dad is sort of shocked and he just looks at him
>Trooper looks back and says"whatcha waitin' for? Go!"
>dad hauls ass down the same dirt road the van went down
>DPS troopers are trying to stay on the main road because they thought the van would hop back on.
>Van never does
>just my dad, DPSbro and one other Border Patrol vehicle
>ofcourse a truck meant for offroading caught a minivan on a bumpy dirt road.
>DPSBro asks my dad "ya got a shotgun in here boy?"
>dad had one in the bed of the truck in a toolbox
>DPSbro climbs out the back fucking window, gets the shotgun
>"Git me closer boy."
>Dad gets up to the van
>"Closer, son."
>dad gets right up next to the van
>"Oh so you want to shoot the front tires?!?!"
>DPSbro rolls the window down and scattergats the driver of the van.
>van goes out of control and rolls
>people get thrown out, dad has to dodge bodies as not to run them over
>van finally comes to a stop in a field
>last guy in the van is crying
>is mashed into the windshield, head sticking out
>has "meat" coming out of his nose
>dad is telling him "you'll be ok man, just-"
>DPSbro walks up "whatcha lyin'to his ass for? Boy you gon' die."

>>33320897
Seriously man, U.S. military was legit in the revolution, turned to shit until the civil war (when it took almost half the war to unfuck itself), then the Spanish American war went ok but after TR it was a complete joke outside of WWI, the inter war years were pathetic desu

Anyone know what its like to apply for Border Patrol or if I should go to college first?

I can speak spanish and all my family is legal and cut ties with their old country years ago, I just have a massive, personal disdain for illegals and want nothing more to stop them from entering the country or pulling them by their short and curlies to the deportation bus

>>33327838
College degree or military experience is about the only way to get hired into any federal LEO position.

Nobody gives a shit if you're Mexican. Half the BP agents you meet will also be Hispanic.

>>33308654

But how do you afford guns without a job, though? How do you conveniently keep them without your own place to live? I don't understand.

>>33314214
>Mexican here: don't shoot us you fucking trigger happy gringos.

"No". I'm told that means "No" in Spanish.

File: 1474340141810.gif (2MB, 499x281px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 499x281px

>>33314625

Challenge accepted.

>>33308959
'finding'
>>33313627
how fresh are these women & children... asking for friend

>>33321021
>Are you a U.S citizen?
>Si senior

>>33327041
On average, 3-5 years at your first station. Some very desirable stations (Florida) could take you 10 years or more.

>>33327755
movie when

>>33322019
>beat you up for a hour or two

Wait, literally or figuratively?

>>33314214
>go there to actually work
all you fucking do is take shitty contracting jobs for penny payment and no benefits then fall off a building, shatter your spine, and get hospitalized for life. it devalues work for everyone else and gets your dumb brown ass killed. stay the fuck on your side.

>>33327838
Having a college degree helps, but it's no deal breaker if you don't have one. Your ethnicity has absolutely nothing to do with you getting as long as your background is clean.

>>33328880
figuratively.

he just keeps asking questions about what criminal activity i'm trying to hide.

>>33327952
Living with your mom, saving up your allowance, maxing out credit cards, and using autism bux.

t. Christian Weston Chandler

>>33329276
isn't CWC a felon?

>>33329207
So if you haven't committed a crime you don't have anything to worry about right?

>>33329296
except they keep asking and asking.

look it up online.

they get applicants to admit to everything they can possibly think of. Just to try and pass the polygraph and get hired. still 60% are rejected.

they will also keep saying "its ok. just tell us what you did wrong and we can work with that. we just want to know"

>>33327298
Funny. I saw two bright orange orbs one night driving east on the I-8 about 30 miles west of Gila Bend in Arizona. They were towards the South, near Mexico, coincidentally. They were just floating there for maybe 10 minutes then they disappeared. Too spooky.

>>33329282
No. He has some criminal charges but I don't think it resulted in anything beyond probation.

>>33329321
But still, if you haven't done anything wrong and they keep asking, just keep giving the same answer "no, I haven't done anything wrong"

But what do I know. I haven't been polygraphed. It just doesn't seem like a big deal to me.

>>33329378
and I keep answering I haven't done anything ever., because I was barracks rat in the army and a NEET bordering on hikkikomori after the army.

he keeps saying he doesn't beieve me. I don't complete the polygraph. several hundred dollars and 3 days blown driving down to tampa. not even my congressman could get me a second polygraph after I complained about it being unfair and incomplete.

the polygraph has to be a trick and not really about finding people lying. border patrol polygraphs are notorious for being fucky.

>>33327041
What if you WANT a shithole assignment in Texas so you have the opportunity to shoot some jumpers?

>>33327755
lolol idk why rednecks in federal or official capacity are so funny.

>>33329517
>>33327041
mexican border states have the best pay, because of all the overtime you can get.

according to the chucklefuck that gave and failed my polygraph. arizona border patrol agents can pull down north of $100,000 a year if they work a crap ton of hours.

All I wanted was to be in Alaska.

>>33329599
Failed your polygraph? How?

>>33329612
same way most people do. which is we don't know.

>>33309060
How bout you let someone throw rocks at you and see how you respond?

>>33329646
Never said the border patrol agent was wrong.

File: Mexican2.jpg (34KB, 564x375px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 564x375px

>>33314406

...

well... maybe not ALL of them...

>>33311228
How Is everything hanging from the ceiling and not falling?

>>33329426
>the polygraph has to be a trick and not really about finding people lying

What are they trying to find then? What are they looking for?

>>33329599
I work 50 hours a week in AZ and get 100k.

There are no BP in Alaska

>>33329321
From the sounds of it they are trying to determine if you're bro-tier.

File: ICE DEPORT feels.png (464KB, 884x903px) Image search: [Google]

464KB, 884x903px

>>33308496
Damn right it is.

>>33329321
>>33329426
Kek, what if to throw the test off you just fucking dump your life story on the guy.
>used slowloris to try and crash my highschools website because it seamed cool
>child pornography exists on sites that I frequent and I never report it or do anything
>I participated in sending a toad to space with helium baloons once
>Ive ran metasploit on every .gov website I ever came across because I watch too many movies and thought itd be cool
>I exceeded the speed limit on my way to this interview.
>I considered doing a shot of gin on my way to this interview
>I have drove under the influence of alcohol before
>I've shot guns out my dining room at animals I didn't have tags for
>I've carried guns in places I wasn't spose to before (no metal detectors, no fucks)
>before I was 18 and could buy real guns I painted the tips of my airsoft guns black
>I stole the ipod of some girl I didn't like in the 6th grade
>I download torrents every day
>I think I have torrents downloading right now at home
>I just use a VPN and ping out of moscow to help (its not foolproof) in anonymity
>I've looked at buying illegal guns/drugs on "silkroad" because I thought it was neat as fuck.

Just dump on the guy kek, your results will be all over the fucking place.

>>33322192
Are you trying to tell me that in America it's a felony to drive "within about an hour" of drinking a beer, even if you are under the BAC limit? Do you realise how fucking absurd that is?

If that's actually true I'm shocked. Even in insanely over regulated Australia, the only thing you can receive a "drink driving" offence for is if you are over the limit. You can be drinking a beer driving down the street in your car, and the only thing they'd be able to get you for is open container. It sounds to me like moronic hyperbole, not that surprising coming from a federal agent.

>>33327886

CBP doesn't care about degrees

>>33329612
Polygraphs are a fucking joke. I'm surprised the government even uses them still, time and time again they are proven to be only slightly better than 50/50

>>33333628
In Oregon the limit is so low that one and a half beers can be enough for a DUI. Even if you're under the limit, if the officer thinks you're impared you can still be charged with DUI.

Don't you need to be proficient in Spanish to be seriously considered?

>>33330322

>>There are no BP in Alaska

Yes there is you stupid mongoloid. We border Canada and we have the small sea straight with Russia.