The Most Elaborate Bank Robbery Thread of All Fucking Time

Insert shameless self-bump regarding typos and arthritic fingers.

go to a bank in the countryside or a small village at night. wear a jumpsuit and nondescript black shoes. get in, steal the money with the gun or whatever and get out. get about a mile away and go to the bag of clothes you have stashed there, along with a backpack to store your old clothes and the money and the gun. change into hiking clothes and walk through the countryside all night, to get to your car. drive home.

>>33283175
Banks aren't open at night

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>>33283047
>bank robbery

Literally dinosaur plebian tier. If you want that kind of money, get into carding.

You'd be stupid to strong-arm a bank, you'll walk out with 10k or less.

You'd be stupid to attempt a heist, you'll walk away with nothing but a pair of cuffs on your wrists or you'll be rolled out in a body bag.

If I was desperate enough to do it for 10k or less, there's nothing else to it then being in and out in under 2 minutes.

robbing high end jewelry stores is easier but you gotta know a shlomo jeweler that will give you gold for stolen jewelry. you'll get less than half what the shit is worth but pick the right shit and you're golden literally. downside is you may have to kill a security guard if youre not confident in being able to run in fast with a taser.

>>33283047
Bank robbery is tarded af. Better off knocking over an armored truck carrying either gold or jewelry if you could somehow find one that drove through the middle of nowhere. Although if you were willing to kill everybody on board and any LEO who happened to show up I suppose you could work something out with a roadside IED, Breaching charge, few competent well armed individuals and a good get away plan. Really for the effort though you'd be much better off knocking over a pharmaceutical delivery truck. They just use non descript white box trucks in my area, about the size of a uhaul. Absolutely no visible security measures and an unarmed delivery person. Any opiate, amphetamine, tranquilizer, or benny can be sold on the street for a steep mark up. With some basic underworld connections it would be very easy to liquidate a moderate to large quantity of pills to a whole saler. I kind of doubt they'd ask you any questions about where you got them either. Along the same vein, a pharmaceutical manufacturer, particularly of opiates, would likely represent a fairly soft and worthwhile target.

>>33283047
Okay. Thinking of what has been successful before and a hybrid of what seems like it would work from pop-culture, this.

>bank in the sticks
>very nondescript clothes, duct tape over the shoe soles, and disposable gloves and masks
>do it right at closing time to avoid anyone being a hero
>use some good scouting, with each member of the team to avoid suspicion, to see if there is an opening when they are closed with no one at the counter but the door is unlocked
>make a quick entrance, use info collected from scouting to see where everyone is stationed in the office
>get a man on everyone to prevent, to the best of ability, the alarm from being triggered
>keep everything going as fast as possible and load up plain cardboard boxes with the cash and what can be collected from the vault
>have a getaway vehicle(plain windowed van) ready with a wagon to get the boxes out and a simple aluminum ramp to get on the road as fast as possible
>ensure that the vehicle has bald tires
>drive to the most secluded area possible with the most cover within 30 miles
>here stash two vehicles of totally different makes and no plates
>attach the plates when it is time to go and burn the interior of the van to prevent any evidence being left, but not enough to have a massive car fire reported
>drive like hell and get about three states away

Take: 500k with some change or some bonuses for safe deposit boxes

Caught: almost definitely, unless your first action was knowing how to get into the vault and killing everyone within the town limits

>>33283238
it gets dark early here, and im sure a few would be open when its dark, or at least starting to close.

Can anything top using a suppressed anti-tank rifle for elaborate?

>>33283249
you are operating under the assumption this is all for monetary gain.

theres a certain allure to bank robbery, its like on a pedestal to people who idolize this kinda shit.

>>33283255
>crime is impossible literally every crime is solvable
I was in forensics in high school too!

Crimes can go unrecorded and vain deaths can happen. It's why you carry a gun. It's still possible to rob banks even with todays technology

Strong-arm and takeover bank robberies are fucking dumb.

Targeting tellers only:
>Silent alarm activated almost immediately
>Tellers hand you contents of drawers, totalling at most $7-10K
>Dye pack included
>You leave
>Every cop in the area (if you're not doing the robbery in a crime-infested shithole) is responding
>Description of you and your vehicle is broadcast within minutes, either due to witness interview or camera footage review
>Caught within three days at most, and that's if you managed to change vehicles. If spotted before that, police chase ending in death or arrest.

If takeover-style:
>Repeat all of the above, except instead of a bit of lead time while the police organize a response and start looking for you, you instead receive a parking lot full of 20-something cops who have dreamed of shooting it out with bank robbers since they were six years old because you waited for the manager to drag his or her feet getting you into the vault and spent 3-5 minutes preparing the cash (of which there won't be much of, relative to the risk) for transport.

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Friendly reminder to put socks over your shoes so they wont have shoe prints

Reminder to put black camo paint on your wrists, around the eyes and mouth area to look like a black youth,

Brown eye contacts as well

Never speak

Use codenames

>buy dozens of quad copters
>attach dynamite (or semtex, whatever you can get) with ball bearings and shit glued to it to each quadcopter
>set up streaming webcams at various vantage points around the bank
>Find some aggressive niggers
>overequip said niggers
>either have an overcomplicated plan or a vague one with several different versions floating around
>give them some meth
>send team N into an important public bank
>something will go wrong
>police and SWAT arrive quickly because you picked a bank near a station
>Allow team N to engage the police and SWAT briefly, automatic gunfire and grenades going off prompts calls for backups and sows chaos
>Play Ride of the Valkyries as waves of quadcopters emerge from their hidden staging areas
>destroy the large LEO presence near the bank, the police panic as most of them die. They have never seen anything like this, fear makes them irrational
>team N is still hopped up on meth, they renew their assault
>as more back up arrives from the initial call, they come upon a hellscape, only able to briefly gather their thoughts before two quadcopters slam into their car

>meanwhile at a bank several miles away
>three kommandos with milsurp rifles, plate carries, large knives and horse masks robs the bank, an alarm is raised, despite their best efforts, a few minutes into the robery
>they scouted it well and it otherwise goes smoothly
>team N is still providing a diversion, so no one pursues team K

2ez

>>33283047
its a retarded idea. even payroll comes in multiple trucks, that are unmarked or marked as being from a service industry company, with plenty of cops around since none of it is done during a shift change.

its a fools errand. like asking HOW CAN I BE THE BEST ICEBOX DELIVERY MAN IN ALASKA?

the fucking FBI jumps into the whole deal in under 6 hours, and they sit around edging to the thought of catching bankrobbers and filling their boipucciz full of love cream.

buy a scratch off lottery ticket. you have a better chance of making it out rich, than you do with knocking over a bank.

record screaming girl. build device to call cops on burner phone and play screaming. hide device far from bank. cops trace cell phone location to opposite side of county where you are.
If surrounded, where air tight suits and set off smoke mixed with some horrible banned substance. use thermal scoped rifles to extricate self from area.

>>33284608
I'll bet you're fun at parties you retarded fucking nigger

>Enter bank
>Jam security systems with an electronic device
>Mask up; at this point people will start noticing the weaponry strapped to your back
>Kill tellers to stop silent alarm
>Drill vault
>Fix drill
>Fix drill
>Fix drill
>Grab money and gtfo

I've used this strategy like 100 times on death wish never fails

>>33285560
Yeah, and if you get arrested they just let you go after a few minutes.

>>33283249
>carding
>entry-level skiddie scam faggotry
No thanks. I get paid more for my legitimate job.
People want to rob banks because it seems cool, not for the money.

>>33284608
>the fucking FBI jumps into the whole deal in under 6 hours, and they sit around edging to the thought of catching bankrobbers and filling their boipucciz full of love cream.
I know nobody will believe me on this, but my old man was FBI. You're absolutely right that they get called but it's more like within the hour than within six hours, since they get called for all bank robberies basically as soon as it's reported.

Maybe it was just because I was old enough to pay attention when he was at the end of his career but he never got excited about bank robberies. It was the beat cops and highway patrols who would actually nab the fleeing perp, he mostly just helped make sure everyone was on the same page if it went over state lines and did any info gathering that was needed from the federal side.

Most bank robbers are idiots and the one I remember last the guy got less than $2k from the teller (who handed it over in $1s, then $5s, and so on), before he panicked and bailed. He got caught in a high speed chase several hundred miles away but there was never a chance of him getting away. I think that's why it never was exciting for a bank robbery to happen for my dad, it was more an interruption from actual interesting work putting together cases on Islamic terrorist cells and supporters in the US, to get some idiot who would have been better off holding up a convenience store for the lotto tickets.