What's your favorite improvised weapon, /k/?

>>33281757
My Dick.

>>33281757
Speaking historically, probably the kusarigama. After the japanese shogunate confiscated weapons from peasants, one of them had the idea "hey, why I don't I take a sickle, tie a rope to the end of it, and flail it around?" You have to admire the crazy idea.

Personally, its a huge floppy dildo but with razor wire wrapped around at least half of it.

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>>33281757
The human body

Wet towel knotted up, nothing like giving your roommate a fractured clavical butt ass naked

>>33281802
FPBP

>>33281757
a flexible desk lamp
>flail action
>good grip
>breaking lightbulb spraying everywhere
>could strangle with cord if the other guy goes down

Bicycle chain
>it is a metal whip in one direction
>a hard metal rod in the other
>add some leather or paracord wrappings to make a stiff, but flexible handle and you've got something plenty capable of taking on a group of 20 children

>>33281757
...squirrel glued to RGD-5

cue ball in a sock

>>33281757
Big stick

>>33283777
>Bicycle chain
>it is a metal whip in one direction
>a hard metal rod in the other

Put some googly eyes and a tongue on it and its a sneaky snake too

>>33283819
Fucking russians.

>>33284116
why a cue ball specifically

a very large screwdriver.
saved me from a good beating by three guys one time, thank god for situational awareness.

>>33284149
kek

>>33281757
Double covered tubesock with heavy object inside.

Or a crowbar.

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I keep a hitch ball wrench under the seat of my truck.

>>33284217
A crowbar is pretty solid

>>33281757
The baseball bat, its the Americans warclub

>>33284181
Slightly denser, and to downplay the possibility of being the 8 ball killer.

Millwall brick
Cudgel
Glass mugs

All weapons I've had to use in the past
t. Britbong

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>>33281757
The two times in my life I fucked people up really bad to the point I was afraid of prison were with a bic pen once and pic related the second.

>>33284181
it was one letter shorter than typing "pool"

I prefer a hamster in a sock

Ever jabbed your fingers in somebody's eyes? If you wanted to go farther you can go under and then yank backwards and gouge their eye out

>>33284487
>t. Britbong
I am so sorry

Ball point pen. (come-along, letting air out through the shoulder, red red vino on tap from the kidneys)

Belt w/buckle (flail, garrote, restraints)