Things your guns said to convince you to buy them.

>>33258536
>look at me, im a gun

>You can dance if you want to

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>It's not like you can afford any better.
And so we went to war.

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>how else will you let everyone know you're larping as a rightwing nationalist who wouldn't think twice about fucking a twink?

>>33258536
"Wanna scare some Liberals?"

>>33258684
PORTLAND

*kerchunk*

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>>33258698
FLORIDA
>?

>>33258589
>you can leave your friends behind

>hey there fella check my serial
>that's right, I'm that intermediate model you want
>and my glad rags still got that mirror blue
>can you believe they're letting me go for this price? I'd be insulted but I kinda want out of this dump
>so how's about you click on that button there and you can show me a good time

ping

>>33258698
PORTLAND

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>>33258536
"C'mon, you don't have this caliber yet..."

>>33258536
>you flunked out of college playing counterstrike

.t USP

>>33258536
7.62 millimeter
Full metal jacket

>>33258536
> your dad never loved you enough to pass down his guns to you like your brothers. by me and I will make up for all the memories and bonding you never got to have...

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>>33258859
Also " You don't have this action yet(revolver, muzzleloader/lever action/etc.)

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>I can do it faster than a noose

>>33258816
>Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance well they're no friends of mine!

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>I can fill that niche like nothing else.
Alternatively-
>What does 'pistol' even mean, really?

>>33258536
>What other gun are you going to carry while wearing that pickelhaube?

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>C'mon senpai, I'm only $600
>I-I know I'm not WWII vintage but I'm made of surplus parts
>I'm s-sorry I'm not that FN49 you wanted. Some baka-san bought it before you could get the money
>Why not add a semi auto to your tiny collection? That 1928 Ishvesk Nugget could use some company!

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>>33258536
I'm under 300 bucks and only need a little work

>>33258536
>It ain't me!

>>33258536
*incoherent painful russian screaming*

I love my shitty post war arsenal refurb franken-mosin

shame it cant shoot worth a damn compared to my 100% matching one

>pew pew pew
>popopopopopop

>>33258536

"Point me at anything you want to see die."

>>33258536
"Buy me and you're just gonna be just like John Wick!"

>I know I'm not that M&P-15 you wanted, but I've a got a little horsey on me! And you can put whatever sights you want on me!

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"Hey, I notice that your Gab and Ask.FM avatars are Spanish Nationalist symbols. You know, I was actually used in the Spanish Civil War - I've killed communists before, and I can do it again. Also, now that the cheap milsurp bubble has burst, I'm probably one of the last milsurp rifles you're ever going to find under $300. Come on - that new job is paying you double what you were making a year ago, and what kind of TradCath wouldn't want a rifle that marched to Madrid with General Franco himself?"

"Fukkaroo capitist pigdog of southern hemisphere, I fuck on your roundeye granfather in nam"

>cheeky fuck /26\ sks made in '67

>i may be sawed off, over priced and inaccurate. >but it'll be fun scaring the people next to you
never underestimate how much fun a nugget can be

>>33258536
>I can't suck your dick, but I sure can make someone do it

>>33258702
FLORIDA!

Wait you're that one weirdo who wanted to retake the Holey Lands aren't ya?

>Sure you were looking for a no.1 mk3*, but I'm an Irish Contract in great condition with niche collector's appeal
>>33258929
*techno noises*

I shoot gatteries that you have a shitton of because you're an alcoholic and not only clicked the wrong caliber, but bought 40 times the original amount because you're a dumbass.

"Look, comrade, I know you want German K98 of Bolshevik killing, but you cannot find! But here I am, and I have same bolt and shoot same boolitts! Get me out of this Gander Mountain hell and we go shoot, have good time."

The joys of a Yugo Mauser

>"H-help me... please..."

Police trade in 92fs. Took a complete teardown down to the final pins and hours of cleaning to get her back into shape.

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I know I'm quite a bit smaller than that Glock 20 you were hoping for, and I know I was made the year I was replaced, but I was well cared for and my previous owner wants me to go to a good home. Won't you please be that good home?

>just buy me you stupid fuck, it's either me or that shitty .22 lr, I cost as much as a half month paycheck and you won't be able to shoot me unless it's on a government sanctioned range, also, you can only buy ammo for me in here as well.
And this is how a mexican gets a shitty .380 revolver legally.

>>33258536
I am soooo practical.

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>>33260489
Construct?

>>33259937
That dance wasn't as safe as they said it was

>>33260777
M-maybe...

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>>33258702
What Part of FL
?

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>Anon are you SURE 5.56 is enough?
>I have a carry handle too just like your a1 !
>How can you say no to these curves?

Faaru a best.

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>I am $100 cheaper than a Mosin-Nagant and I don't use rimmed ammo

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>Bы знaeтe, чтo хoтитe cдeлaть fudds нeyдoбным...

>>33258536
>m&p im not a glock
>ar im cheap to feed.

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>What if they come back?
>What if there is a second time?
>I cannot save you.
>I cannot protect you.
>But I can make sure we settle the score this time.

>>33258536
>remember me from 90s games & movies?
>beretta tomcat, usp 45, beretta 92fs, taurus pt92, winchester 1300, m16a1 clone, glock 17...

>I'm a tula! I'm a tula! I'm a tula! I'm a tula! I'm a tula! I'm a tula! I'm a tula!

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>>33258536
>"Pssst. Hey kid! Wanna look like clint eastwood?"

>>33262667
Too bad he's anti gun.

>>33262815
I didnt say BE like clint eastwood, I said LOOK LIKE clint eastwood.

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>>33260489
>Police trade in 92FS
>Complete overhaul
Gee, I wonder who's behind this post?

>>33263816
It could be anyone with a trade in 92FS...and Remington 1903-A3

glock 19

>"Hi. I'm a Makarov"
I guess I'm easy.

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>>33258536
>what else are you going to take your own life with? rope? you pussy.

Let's hope 10 gauge is quick and painless.

>>33265650
not for whoever has to clean your grey matter off the damn ceiling you fuck

inert gas

>if you squeeze me, I make bad people go away.

Sold, American!

>>33265710
That's why I'm doing it in the tub with a tarp laid out. Also sawing it off and aiming right on top of my heart so I can still have an open casket for mt parents sake.

>>33258536
>AR you going to buy me or not?

>>33258536
>You're a numale if you don't buy me

>>33262815
I thought he was just all "gun control is using both hands" and shit.

>>33258536
but you've got a 37mm...you don't have me! Come on, you're tired of those smoke bombs, try this beehive round. I'll even let you mount me ;)

-and so i have an m203

not bought, but...

>come on, it's cold here...
>No... serial is filed down so...
>Oh, you're not allowed to have me?
>so you're going to leave me here again?
>In the cold?
>Oh, You can't even have ammo?
>p-please there is no war happening
>you dont even have to shoot me! just please get me away from this godforsaken place...

>>33266024
you dig sometihng up in iowa?

>>33266041
no, this is far from the US actually

>>33266049
oh...west virginia haha

>>33266059
i'm pretty sure west virginia is in the US...

>>33258536

>Blyat I'm the best combat shotgun you'll find

So I got a Saiga-12

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>>33260868
Get back to /wfg/ and write Construct!

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>>33258684
>FAL with nice wooden furniture

"I look like the magnum from Halo a little bit"

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>>33258536
>You heard the man. If you want me its now or never!

SIG P6 for 400 bucks. I got him to go down to 375 because of a no return policy.

>>33258536
>You wanted a 12 gauge right?
>And I'm already engraved
>Admittedly, my relatives may have killed some of yours
>And I am a bit rusted here, there, and everywhere
>But look, friction rings!

1957 Browning A5, 2 3/4 12 gauge with a non-matching barrel. Later found out that my mom's dad had one too, not sure of the caliber of his though.