Weird Gun-Related Stories

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>>33255840

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>>33255840

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>>33255840

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>>33255840
What the fuck

>>33255840
what gun did you use, anon?

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>>33255840

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My first instinct was that this couldn't be real, then I remembered where I was

>>33255840
You fucking what?

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>>33255840
>go to local gun store to pick up rifle
>find one, go to counter
>8/10 qt serving me
>business as usual, hand over 4473
>"also going to need a virgin check sir"
>what? how?
>getting nervous
>"ah yeah..of course that's easy"
>drop pants at counter
>"oh no" she says
>i'vebeenmade.gif
>"it's okay sweety, I can help"
>the hell?
>she puts on elbow length latex glove
>smeared in cosmoline
>she begins to enter me
>I tear up as she massages my prostate
>I begin to nut uncontrollably
>she keeps going anyway
>I pass out from the raw pleasure
>wake up outside with rifle in hand and loyalty club member.

Overall wasn't that bad an experience, would recommend buds gun shop.

>>33256093
Lucky, I spent a week in the mines after failing my virgin-check.

>>33255840
Shit that never happened, the thread.

>>33255840
How were you holding this firearm that you somehow failed to realize a dude's ballsack was right in front of your face?

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>>33255840
That is really fascinating.

Not exactly gun related, but your story reminds me of it. My friend back in highschool used to rub his balls on people's car door handles. One time he got some skin caught in it. Rather than screaming in pain or freaking the fuck out about ripping his fucking ballsack, he immediately went diamonds and learned he was into genital mutilation.

I've been sure to never hear about his sexual activities since, so who knows what the hell he has done to himself.

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>>33256144
>No fun aloud

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>>33255840
>standing at gun counter
>watching eye floaties move around
>customer walks in
>shows me his glock 27
>dropped it about 40ft onto a rock hiking
>tab on slide where recoil spring seats broke off
>neat
>starts to ask me questions
>just a second faggot
>put my finger to his lips
>"shh shh shh shh shh now"
>tell him i'll check in the back
>walk into back
>throw glock27 in trashcan
>fuck with vending machine for a minute
>look up how to hack a vending machine on youtube
>whatever
>into back storage
>passed pallets of .22lr
>through the german shepherd chamber
>out the back door
>into parking lot
>get in my car and drive across the street
>order chinese food
>play flappy toss on my phone
>eat chow mein
>boss calls me asks where i'm at
>tell him he's fired

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>>33255840

>>33256166
lol what the fuck bruh

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>>33256148
My guess he was firing a shoulder mounted revolver carbine where the hammer sits behind the persons head.

Autists rendition here.

>>33256422
*Artists

>>33256437
It was fine the first time.

>>33256422
What's the trigger on that thing like?

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>>33255840

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>>33256283
I really, really like where this thread is going.
>>33256391
that is just the way it be

>>33256482
probably the same as a henway.

>>33256283
Anyone know the full story behind the association of tales from the gun counter and German shepherds? I ask because it bears an uncanny resemblance to stories my friends and I used to tell each other in grade school. I was really into German Shepherds back then, and would often sloppily leverage them into weird larp stories not dissimilar to TFGC, and in an unbelievably similar manner to the way they're leveraged in with TFGC. Shit is positively surreal.

Could the original TFGC German Shepard guy one be of my old gradeschool friends? Doesn't seem likely, but the alternative is the spontaneous generation of two almost identical story styles involving the same breed of dogs in the same way.

Shot in the dark: K- Kenny? Is that you?If not, I'm tempted to blame skinwalkers.

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>>33256661
Not sure if this is what you are talking about, but I've got this one from a while ago

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>>33255840
In the many years I've been here this was the hardest I've laughed at a post on /k/. Good shit, OP

>>33256697
Sounds like the style. There's a whole series of them though, not sure how many by the original author. Most involve random German Shepards, sometimes trying to buy guns or .22 and other times simply present. That is the phenomenon
>>33256283
Is referring to with the German Shepard chamber line

>>33256762
I wish I had more. I was never one to screencap shit.

>>33256773
I have some saved somewhere; they've always piqued my interest because of how uncanny they were.

We used to do that shit in the bus on the way home from school; not generally guns back then, just situations IIRC. Tales From the Gun Counter reads exactly the same, like I'm right back there. I've been suspicious for a long time, but the more I think about it the more convinced I am the two are at least tangentially related. A friend of a friend, if not one of us.

That or jamming specifically German Shepards in various and relatively undefined degrees of anthropomorphicism into random situation larping is a spontaneously occuring global phenomenon, and thus proof of aliens or something.

>>33256604
Booted Bantam or Ermellinata di Rovigo?

>>33256854
Yeah I know those feels. Whenever innawoods and bored I'd start talking complete bullshit like that. Most of my shit either had a random encounter with Mike Tyson steamrolling a random group of five guys or old psyco friends from middle school coming out of know where and beating random shit sensless.

Usually it was based on tales of infinite retardation gathered from my uncle's time serving with the obscure and nonsensical shoved in there.

>>33256899
Bantam of course.

>>33256955
Cousin and I used to do it too, but with random Star Fox characters. We used to pass long car rides that way. Never occurred to me our parents could even hear us; goddamn that must have been grating. All the same I regret nothing. Those days are probably part of what eventually made a writefag out of me

>>33256283
>that's 2 in the gay

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>>33256773
Found a few.

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>>33258018

>>33257320
please I'm /r/ing that fucking thread

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>>33258475
nvm i got it

>>33256144
Really?! Ya think?

>>33258018
>>33258036
>>33258532
This thread went places.

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>>33255840

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>>33256447

Screencapped. And bump

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>>33255840

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>>33258018
>>33258036
This was new to me. Thank you anon.

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heres a newer one

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>this thread

>>33256144
Please lurk more

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>>33258018
>>33258036
That is some high quality /k/ right there.

>>33256422
Someone didnt watch "how NOT to shoot a revolver"

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>be at new lgs that I didn't know existed near my college
>real small hole in a wall near residetial area, stuck in between a nail salon and a burger joint
>old chinese lady in the front if nail shop smoke a cigarette tells me glocks are king as I walk in
>okay.jpg
>ask the gunshop employees about it and they said shes a real sweet old lady, recently bought a glock 20 from them and removed a couple dindus that were trying to rob her and presumably the store
>everything goes normal enough until chinese lady opens the door for a doggo
>white doggo has a tactical vest and a dump pouch, looks kind of like a Akita
>doggo barks
>employee looks at a piece of paper and bills in the doggos pouch
>doggo nudges at me while he waits so I pet the doggo
>proceeds to put 3 box of 45 and a lower parts kit into doggos pouch
>doggo walks out and Chinese lady opens the door for him
>they sit in front of the burger joint and share a burger, doggo disappears soon after
>nobody says anything or even comments about it
>get an anderson lower for 40 bucks + tax and go home
Mfw

>>33262541
I want to know more

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Bump and put me in screencap

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>>33256283
Holy shit I can't breath

>>33264792
someone had the doggo go shopping

>>33262541
We finally found grandma /k/.

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>>33258532
EVERY time
>my rod
>my tod

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Not really that weird, even to me, but as far as anything involving a gun goes with me, it's almost all natural to me, so this is the CLOSEST thing to weird.
>Be me
>last month
>invite friend to come over next day
>Go to bedroom, take FAL with me. Intend to put it back in the safe before bed but want to fondle it because recent acquisition,
>Wake up next morning, friend is calling me to inform me that he's on his way and I turn out to have cuddled my FAL that night.
>mfw I slept with my raifu and I'd normally never do that.

I remember those old TFGC threads, those were the days