Xenomorph Operator

die

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>18+

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atomic arty
>nuking from orbit

>>33217946

>implying that's survivble

fpbp

At least 4 people have died in my house.
At least 2 dogs.
At least 5 cats.
Pretty sure a snake and god knows how many mice.

My ghost squad would got on a bug hunt and fuck its shit up.

>>33217946
>I would grab my AR
>Sit in corner in my room
>Call the cops and tell them there's an armed robber in the house
>Use them to lure out xenomorph duder
>As they're getting slaughter I come out guns a blazing
>I still die

Xenomorphs are squishy as fuck.

they depend on ambush and overwhelming numbers.

I molotov the first thing that makes me even think there is a egg pod, face hugger, chest burster, or xenomorph. Then I shoot everything that moves.

>>33218069
Do you really how fucking quick they are? Also, acid blood? I'm sure it would take more than a few bullets to kill it. Also, knowing the 21 foot rule of knife vs gun, the xenomorph will prolly destroy you.

>>33218069
>they depend on ambush and overwhelming numbers.

there's also the fact that you can shoot them a fuckton before they go down, they're permanently on fucking meth.

if you're under 50 yards from one, and you don't have explosive rounds, you're only making holes for it to bleed on you with as it charges at you without flinching from pain.

>>33218069
>>33218069
>overwhelming numbers

except the first (best) movie when a single xenomorph slaughtered the whole ship

Fetch my shotgun and Kurt Cobain myself before it finds me. I'm not dealing with this shit.

>>33217946
>Light house on fire
>Leave

>>33217946
>Light house on fire
>Light self on fire
Let's see that 5head cunt get me now

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Shoot the tannerite embedded in my Sheetrock when I hear one approach. I may die but the house and those fucking xeno's come down with me.

Is good thread, need more opinions. Preferably an autistically detailed run down on an encounter with one.

>Grab AKM+full 75 round drum mag and 12ga+3.5 magnum slugs
>Sit in corner of room with lights on
>Shit pants severely
>Make sure all loaded
>See Ayy
>Bump fire the fuck out of AK, hopefully get it to fuck off
>If not, tube dump scatgat
>Hopefully BTFO it
>Die

>>33219114
This definitely this. Don't give it a live host to repopulate.

>>33217946
Nuke the entire site from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

>>33218069
I would say, to be frank, Xenomorphs are anything but squishy lol.
Their exoskeleton is armored to all fuck and back. In a lot of the novels and graphic novels they go into detail about how much punishment they can take from small arms fire (Earth Hive, for instance).
If you're working with a handgun you're pretty much fugged. You'll need 7.62 or better. And a Molotov cocktail wouldn't do much good for long.

If it were in my house I'd stay in the garage and take an FAL because unfortunately I don't have anything in an intermediate 10mm caseless.

>>33217946
If Xenomorphs were real I would build a secure room with only one entrance. I'd put myself there and wait. Once the Xenomorph enters through the one door, I activate a trapdoor that contains the xenomorph in a massive pool of bleach. As the extremely basic bleach would neutralize the acidic blood, then I am free to either magdump from a safe distance or just throw some explosives into the hole.

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>>33217946
Use the Force.

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>>33217946
Jack off on it's big gay head

>>33218185
a tug boat with an unarmed crew.

>>33221072
I have bulgarian steel core for my tokrev, m855for the ar15, and 7n6 for the ak74.

plus i have a garand.

>>33221222
THIS NEEDS A FUCKING MOVIE. NONE OF THAT PANSY ASS NEW AGE STARWAR SHIT. I NEED THIS: A BLOODY BATTLE TO THE END, NO QUARTERS GIVEN, NO QUARTERS RECEIVED.

JUST GLORIOUS, OVERWHELMING DEATH ON A PLANETARY SCALE.

>>33221222
>>33221430
This does seem like a good idea, even better if the rebels somehow get involved.

>>33221222

That's a cool picture. I like this picture.

>>33217946
That's an awfully big head he's got there.

>>33217946
Take this garbage to /tv/
reported

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>>33217946
Lol I'd die prolly
Best thing to get it with that I own would be the vepr 12 or the Benelli m2...
But that doesn't change the fact that unless I was >>33221222 or some sort of force sensitive I wouldn't see it coming, it would either
A) take me to be a host
B) IF no face huggers on earth, it would just kill me
If I did somehow see it coming I'd try to get wife and kids out but even that's a longshot.

Tbh Vader wouldn't be able to take 4 queensguards and a queen. He would get hit by acid after his first lightsaber swipe and die.

The xenomorph is pretty much one of the worst things imagination has come up with, baring HP Lovecraft

>>33219375
please this

>>33221768
Why wouldn't vader just force choke all of them?

Also, the aliens powerlevel varies widely depending on which part of the canon you go by. In some parts they job hard and get fucked up by an individual, in others they take down teams of marines. iirc they go invisible later down the line through some sort of bullshit organic optical camouflage.

>>33217946
if something like that was real, the U.S. would probably turn half my city into a 30 foot crater with 100 tons of kinetic depleted uranium just to kill it

OBVIOUSLY I WOULD BUY TICKETS FOR ME AND MY FAMILY TO ENJOY THE NEW PROMETHEUS MOVIE IN THEATERS MAY 19TH 2017

>>33221839
And destroy the body? Na, would be a much better idea to take it conventionally or capture it alive.

>>33221870
god damn it Weyland how many times does it take for you to learn a lesson

>>33218006
Dude, WTH is going on in your house??

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>Not holding the eggs hostage with a nuke and forcing the queen to let me use her spawn as my own private xeno army

You guys are small time

>>33221809
Depends more specifically on the kind of alien. Hopefully, new movies will explain this a little more like comics did.
No, darth Vader couldn't just choke all of them, he was powerful but not that powerful. Having lost his limbs, he wasn't as strong in the force as he could have been.
Even dark Jedi from the old republic couldn't kill groups of peeps with force choke, and they were several orders of magnitude more powerful than Darth Vader.
Glad nobody has been like
> Lol lightsabers cauterize wounds.
They don't. They semi-cauterize them, clearly seen the first time one is used on screen.

>>33221939
I'm not even kidding, in OP's scenario it would be imperative to either capture it alive or recover an intact corpse to study. We've got an aggressive, lethal invader that multiplies rapidly and is extremely difficult to contain. on top of that, it adapts bullshit fast and it's likely that within a few generations it'll replace us as the dominant lifeform on the planet.

We're lucky as hell that it landed in a civilized part of the world where we have at least a chance to capture it and learn enough to form countermeasures. Imagine if that shit had appeared in brazil or africa instead. They'd chestburst brazilanon, then they'd chestburst his family, then his town, then a major population center, all before sufficient force could be brought to end the infestation. By this point it's probably too late, they're both widespread and several forms adapted. We've probably lost the planet.

You have to absolutely use your first chance to capture one instead of just nuking it. Because if the next one goes undetected, you risk species death.

>>33222061
In the media besides the films, the force is much stronger. Examples include reacting at light speed, using the force to kill all life on an entire planet, and force telekinesis being strong enough to move an entire (and in one case, multiple) star destroyers. Another franchise where the powerlevels are way over the fucking place. If you're talking about pure movie canon, remember that palpatine used force clouding to hide himself literally under the noses of thousands of Jedi.

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>>33222208
Wayland-Yutani please leave.

No fucking way anyone can capture a xenomorph.

>>33222208
But we're talking Vader and I've played the games and read some EU
No way could he take a handful of xenomorphs.

Joke's on them, I have a fetish for Xenomorph Queens.

>tfw a Queen will never embrace you and milk you dry to inseminate her eggs 24/7 wrapping up lovingly around her ovipositor

>>33222287
They capture it just fine, their mistake is trying to squeeze some use out of it instead of finding the most efficient, thorough way to kill it.

If humanity ever discovers another species that presents even the tiniest realistic threat to us, it is more than likely in our best interest to try to eliminate that species. There's quite a few academic papers on the subject, mostly dealing with first-contact scenarios. It's fascinating reading.

>>33222318
Vader's pretty weak in the grand scheme of it, I'll agree. He still has a near perfect sense of his immediate surroundings and good control of force lightning. Xenomorphs are strong and intelligent, but are ultimately just very strong predators without any sort of magic. Were vader to simply fry any life-form that came within a few hundred meters of him, I'm not sure how the xenos would win.

>>33217946
I would show them my wheat farm.

>>33217946
make them eat all the eggs

>>33222222
lettucebros leave now

>>33221072
This. Xenos are significantly bullet resistant. Were talking atleast level 2A if not 3A NIJ equivalent. Your average individual would/t make a dint in them before the extremely quick, sneaky, strong son of a bitch either ate them or slapped their shit into unconsciousness for future incubator usage.

>>33222318
>>33222394
to be fair, all he'd really need the force for would be redirecting any acid that spewed out mid-air, and maintaining awareness of nearby enemies along with occasional usage when he was overwhelmed by numbers as a force multiplier(EX force jump up and force throw his light saber around below him is a scything arc of death to clear a little breathing room) otherwise his light saber and martial skill would probably be pretty dang effective.

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>>33217946
>nope directly out the bedroom window
>not even wait for dog, much less wife
>tell stories to my new kids about how the real-life boogey man came and ate my old kids' faces off because they couldn't SHUT THE FUCK UP at bedtime

On the Savanna, you don't have to outrun the lion. You just have to outrun the people around you.

>>33217946
It's fine.
I'm at work now
I'll just never go home....

>>33217953

/thread

>Grab the ping machine
>sit in a well lit corner
>wait

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>>33217946

anyone here watch alien vs predator requiem and get a massive hardon when watching those pregnant chicks getting eggs forced down their throats?

every time I see it I have to jerk it. it's just too damn hot.

>>33217946
>Xenomorph Operator
I thought it would be thread about Xenomorphs working as SOF operators.

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>ctrl+f
>"sex"/"fuck it"
>0 results

I have sex with it and fuck it all night long.

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>>33223996
>ywn mindbreak xeno poontang with the power of h;fy cock

>>33218006
Do you build your house on an indian burial ground, or to close to camp crystal lake?

>>33223433
You might want to Google "ovipositor kink" or some combination of other words.

Not that I would KNOW, or anything.

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>>33221222
But can Stormtroopers fare better than Colonial Marines when fighting the Aliens?

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>>33223433

e621.net probably has what you're looking for, friend.

>>33224606
Stormtroopers?
Fuck no, humanity extinct.

The 501st?
Every last filthy xeno purged.

yall motherfuckers are dumb, one xeno killed an entire ship and gave a predator a fight

best option is to kill yourself before it gits ya

>>33225009
What about WH4...oh wait it's warhammer. Nothing non-warhammer is gonna live long against that stuff

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You're standing at one end of a football field and a Xenomorph is standing at the other. With only weapons you own could you bring it down before it reached you?

>>33225142
Set the whole fucking field on fire. At least then it won't approach me and the smoke and fire will kill me first.

>>33222999
>tell stories to my new kids about how the real-life boogey man came and ate my old kids' faces off because they couldn't SHUT THE FUCK UP at bedtime
Oh shit I'm dying. I'd love to tell my kids that.

>>33225111
>Space Marine spawned Xenomorphs
Muh dick. Probably no scarier than 'Nids but still.

>>33225111
Xenomorphs are basically genestealers but with acid blood instead of body snatching

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Set myself on fire and try to wrestle it.
I'm dead no matter what, so I'd go for a proper blaze of glory.

My house? Or my college apartment
In my house I have a century arms imported L1a1 with 7 loaded mags under the bed and 1911 with 3 mags on the table.

College apartment... uh a kitchen knife

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>>33217946
>Be Australian
>not allowed to have guns and when we are it's a Pansey 22 or 303 which struggles to drop kangaroos
>xenomorph will always win hand to hand combat
>only option is to sit in the corner and cry

>>33225760
>nightmare mode.
>emu hosted xenomorphs.

>>33217977

It's the only way to be sure

>>33222549

underaated

>>33217946
My rifle is half an hour's bus ride away. I'm sure my mangled body would make a good jump-scare for the protagonist.

>>33225111
Eh..... kinda depends on what snuck in on the space hulk that brought 40k into the argument.

Genestealers?... Tossup, and arguable more dangerous genestealer hybrids and xenomorphs as a result.

Orks? Once again, probably a tossup and now the xenos generate facehuggers via spores.

Tau? Depends. Kinda hit or miss with them, they've got good tech and if we count the farsight enclave as part of the "tau" they've fought off worse... I give it even money on them making out alright.

Chaos marines? Chaos marines only because of daemonic bullshiterry.

Imperial Guard? run off the mill, pure onesided slaughter in favor of the xenos. Krieg Korps? Meat grinder in all directions, surviving xenos diagnosed with PTSD. IG commanded by Vance Stubbs? Heavy losses but imperial victory in the end.

Space marines? Varies by chapter, Ultra marines win against all odds and Cato Sicarius adds another notch to his belt by 1v1ing a queen with a broken chainsword, Salamanders just bathe in molten pyrithium and don't even notice anything amiss, blood ravens steal the queen and anything not nailed down, Xenos ultimately are confused as fuck.

Nids? Aliens get adsorbed into the genetic soup that is the hive fleet, no one really notices anything different on the next ten worlds that are swallowed up by it.

Eldar? See Tau.

Dark Eldar? See Eldar, but with more debauchary.

Daemons? Depends on what part of the warp they tripped in off and I don't know enough about them to really go into detail here.

Necrons? Sleep through the all of the above shit going down and emerge to devour the life force of anyone still standing after the fact....Actually I have no idea what their current MO is anymore ever since GW started fleshing them out giving them clothes and turned them into more than just a vaugely almost terminator ripoff with enough motivational difference to not get sued by cameron thing.

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>>33217946 (OP) #
Retreat into crawl space/storage area with L1A1, lock door. Only one way in, and it'd be a giant spindly backlit target. I'm still almost 100% dead, though.
>It'd probably be in there waiting for me
Which is a bit of an unfair scenario; since that means unless you stop and bunker in place, you're fucked.

>>33225787
That shit is hell on earth mode
The dog alien from alien 3 was bad enough

>>33226038
>current MO
Depends on who's in charge.
>ah, I don't have THAT variant in my collection
>my, these guests are awfully messy. Obyron, get the janitor
>this blood keeps eating though my surgical tools
>gtfo i need to open this tomb
>what do you mean you can't scare them by wearing their skin, that always works!

>>33225854
Kek

>>33217946
How much set up time do I have?
If enough barricade door, grab my 12 guage, ak and the .357
If its ever getting at my door light it up with fmj and incindiaries
If it breaks through demolish it with magnum buckshot
If it lives through that I guess just knife fight and try to pop it with the revolver

>>33219326
>tannerite embedded in my Sheetrock
kek, wonder how well that shit would function replacing your insulation so that you have exploding walls when shot.

>>33229082
That's what I got. No insulation, just a blanket when cold. If I die I level the house with me.

>>33222394
>Academic Papers on First Contact with Ayyys

Links pls anon

>>33217946
Push scatter gat into its fucking mouth
>eatthis.jpeg

>>33224606
Storm troopers couldn't beat a bunch of fucking teddy bears.
They can't shoot for shit.
They would get rekt hard.

>>33229846
That was bad writing.
It really depends where the stormies were fighting. Almost anything gets destroyed by xenos in close quarters but on an open field they would be demolished. Urban areas would be kinda 50/50.

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>>33229299

>>33223996
>>33224024
only correct answers

>>33225142
Bolt .308
12 gage (slugs)
.22 pistol (for self only)
molotovs out the ass.

Assuming a little set up time i spread gas and alcohol bottles around and rig a getto ass trigger with model rocket igniters. At go hit the trigger and firewall all around me to prevent the rush. Pound away with the scoped .308, drop and switch shotty if it gets through/ jumps the firewall. Become an hero after my shotty runs dry by breaking my last molotov on myself before using the .22 so i don't feel the flames much. Deny it another host/meat.


If no prep, I'm one fucked fudd but I'm going down swinging.

>>33222318
Reminder that the old "Naga Sadow blew up a sun with his brain and Nihlis ate a planet" EU is dead as a door nail

>>33224606
i would imagine their blasters would do decent damage, and may cauterize the wound so less acid. Also, stormie outfits seem more environmental resistant overall, and they have much more support options

>>33225142
Barrett M82. Fire from prone at its head as it charges straight at me like they are wont to do.

>>33217977
I love the fact that atomic arty exists, launching a nuke from a cannon is just so cool.

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>>33222394
>>33229299
>>33230326
THIRD

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>>33217946

>>33222318
Wut, they're completely without any special abilities besides being fast. Vader's force powers are adequate to crush them or tear them apart, they'd never get close enough for it to be a lightsaber battle unless you're talking about large numbers.

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Hand to Hand with my Space Forklift

>>33217946
I live in a small trailer so it would really only be in the bathroom. So I would just unload into the bathroom wall form my bed. But most likely die from the acid blood as it burst though the wall/door.

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>>33221343
>unarmed
I hardly call 2 flame throwers, 3 laser pistols, and a stun baton "unarmed."

>>33233258

It is when almost half the deaths are because the company wants a living sample brought back. Plus worrying about hull ruptures if theyattack it. Remember, the flame throwers and cattle prod were to try and get it to move to where they could send it out the airlock.

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>>33225009
The 501st you say?

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>>33235740

Baking soda rounds.

>>33223968
Don't know why but laughed my ass off.

Imagine Xeno with beard, cap and tactical pants... weird

>>33222208

Can I fuck it at least?

>>33222984

No they're not. Ppl kill them with handguns with only a shot or two. Also don't forget the rifle the Marines use, is a pistol round and they had no problem with those either. You're clearly a dumb ass.

If it happens during daytime, hopefully Saturday, I call the range that's half a mile down the road.

Other than that? Try to shoot it with as many .308 rounds as possible and try to leave via truck

Yea uh I'd probably fucking DIE.

Humans are a physical construction for the invisible gods to communicate. We are like online avatars.

We are built to mostly circlejerk with the godhead. The physical world is a toy. Animals, nature, forces... Toys.

Although we have the capacity, without preparation, training, etc....


I do not fancy anyone's odds against a perfect organism. Even toys can be intelligent, cunning, and smarter.

Hasn't anyone seen the horror movies where toys came to life? You couldn't survive fucking CHUCKY how the fuck are you going to survive a xenomorphic creature? It literally picks and chooses which parts of you to create itself with to survive its environment.

Xeno=foreign
Morph=changer

You'll be consumed by the hive and only your ghost will be human.

>>33221809
Xenomorphs, like anything that can just chill in a hard vaccum, don't need oxygen to survive

If anything, choking them would piss them off even more because you're stopping them from hissing

>>33218096

>21 foot rule

HOLY SHIT

Someone is memeing the twenyon fut rul!!

Dude, most civies that fire their guns in anger are targeting someone well within their personal space

>>33217977

Fuckin-A

>>33217946
No don't fucking remind me. I used to watch a too much late night conspiracy/alien abduction documentaries as a young kid and it wasn't uncommon for me to not sleep at night. I wasn't able to even look at a generic grey withoutgoing into mild shock until my early teens.
I sleep with a shotgun regardless.
I also fucking hate movement outside my window after dark.

If I find xeno scum I will enact full and thorough eradication to the very best of my ability. I fucking hate those black eyed pale skinned fuckers.

>>33221768

Lightsabers cauterise on contact.

>>33236510
The only time one is killed with a conventional handgun is when Vasquez shoots one point blank right in the side of the head and this gets acid on her leg and fucks her up. The only other time is when Ron Perlman shoots one with his laser whatever pistol in Resurrection which also caused its head to explode, so I doubt you could really put that on the same level as a normal projectile handgun. There have been repeated instances of smaller calibers failing to penetrate the exoskelton such as in the Aliens comic/novel Earth Hive and more recently, Alien Isolation

Please feel free to post a pistol that uses a caseless 10mm round.

>>33236590
They kill them in the first movies by throwing them into space.

Furthermore, the synth in the first film remarks about how adaptable it was to atmosphere, and Ripley briefly chokes it in the shuttle by spraying atomized Iodine pentaflouride and other chemicals on it, so they do indeed need to breathe.

>>33221499
Maybe with his old 501st crew that are still alive.

>>33236662
No they get rid of it by shooting it into space. It crawls into the thruster after being ejected so it clearly wasn't bothered by the vacuum.

>>33236662
>>33236681
Also, whether you consider it canonical is debatable but there are several times in expanded media where the xenomorphs are just fine in space.

>>33236681
It was only out for a matter of seconds. Even the animals we've exposed to vacuum have survived for extremely brief periods. I was thinking Of the second film, where they kill the queen by dumping out of an airlock. Or am I remembering it wrong?

>>33236699
Again, it's not really shown to be dead as it's still screaming off into the void. It's gone but how dead it is, is unclear at best.

And as that guy mentioned, we only really stand a chance against the xenos if you only count the original films as canon. The further on you go, the stupider it gets. Eventually they can survive in space, can turn invisible, are extremely intelligent, and have telepathy.

>>33236718

They needed to make it somewhat scary for the heros in the subesquent stories and give them plot magic abilities because the second movie showed that a platoon of jarhead space marines led by a noob could kill an entire colony of them. If a planet of those were ever discovered it would just be nuked.

>>33236699
Also another point, the queen rode up to the Sulaco in the landing gear of the dropship. I don't think most landing gear is pressurized/sealed off so I doubt that was an easy ride for most things.

>>33236740
This is true. Those 4 sentry guns killed more xenos in 5 minutes of screentime than everything else in the franchise combined up until that point.

>>33236659
A caseless ten millimeter round with a Hi-Ex armor penetrating core

Seriously, the shit needed to actually down a xenomorph makes OPs scenario seem like Home Alone from hell

>>33236699
Even then, the queen is simply seen thrashing and flailing as it floats away from the ship. None of the movies ever show a xenomorph suffocating or dying from vacuum.

>>33236740
>a platoon of jarhead space marines led by a noob could kill an entire colony of them

That's one way of looking at it

Another way would be a platoon of trained soldiers suffered 80% casualties in their first engagement while accidentally causing the incident that destroyed all human assets on the planet along with the aliens
Except for the huge, powerful breeder that escaped the explosion
Not all scenarios have an Ellen Ripley to dump that shit into space, anon

>>33236845
To be fair, that's completely because of the writing, and the constant plot to try to breed and weaponize them. Once the scale of the problem is realized, the proper response is her quote "Nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."

>>33236845
See this is what I love about Aliens that some people seem to have go over their heads. Sure, it has more action than the first movie but the horror is still just as present, just in a different way. The crack military squad gets absolutely fucked and the only reason anyone makes it out is because Ripley has seen this shit before and decides to act. The gung ho attitude just evaporates as they realize how deep the shit they're in is.

>>33236879
I mean, you can blame literally anything that happens in any movie as because of the writing . Shit was planned by Weyland-Yutani from the beginning though until Ripley continually screws up everything they try to do. Them damaging the reactor was a happy little accident in this case that happened to be the best outcome for everyone at that point that wasn't on the company payroll.

>>33236845

Yeah and the Aliens had 100% casualties, despite outnumbering the marines 100+ to 1. And their queen died too, or is at least ejected into space to never be seen again.

A xeno colony 100% destroyed is no threat to anyone.

>>33236938
Except some of the aliens survived, got onboard the ship they escaped the planet with, and landed on another planet to start another infestation. That doesn't sound like 100% destroyed and no threat to me.

>>33236938
Except for the egg that made it onto the ship and caused Alien 3. Considering it took nuking an entire colony to even remotely call it a victory, I don't think that strategy is very viable in the long term.

Bust out my flamethrower and set the house on fire.

Then hop on the car and drive like hell to the next state.

>Of course it will be in the car with me.

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>>33237076
Forgot pic

>>33225142
4 bore safari rifle

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I just came here to post this.

>>33237140
>Drones in 2130

>>33226043
>hear super ayy
>grab short shorts and L1A1
>book it to crawl space clutching rifle and rosary in hand
>trembling in crawl space waiting to mag dump ayy
>never realized how little shit my Rhodesian shorts can contain
>on 3rd hail Mary and hear scuffles and crawling
>pantshittingintesifies.exe
>shuffling stops and flip safety off
>notice weird liquid on my rifle
>suddenly strands of liquid from ceiling
>look up
>ayy lmao

What a horrible way to die

>>33217946
reported

sage

go fuck yourself take this kiddo garbage to /x/

>>33233070
[spoiler]oh god i just got a boner[/spoiler]

>>33237170
No, fuck you! This is an important topic!

>>33229846
It makes more sense when you realize Ewoks were originally supposed to be Wookies, but Lucas is a hack.

>>33237179
seriously report this garbage, don't encourage the morons of this particular demographic to return here

sage

I hope you all get prostate cancer

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>>33224024
>finally create a loyal xenomorph army that won't try to kill you when the power goes out
>turns out the secret ingredient really was love

>>33237217
Says the same type of asshole that turned this place into a stale pile of shit in the first place.

>>33237170
/k/ can into fun to you joy nazi!

Can I fuck it?

>>33222388
It may just have been how this was described, but it sent a wave of pure arousal throughout my being.

>>33237168
Kinda unfair, like I said. In OP's scenario, you don't know where the Alien is and have zero prep time. And since they literally operate off SPOOPY HORROR LOGIC, everything just goes out the window, since unless you're in your bunker-down location, guns in hand, then moving through your house is a lethal prospect.

A more fun scenario is something like "an Alien is screeching and clawing at your door, how will you fight back when it bursts into your home?"

>>33218040
Good plan

>>33217946

Obviously I catch it and use it as a weapon.

>>33217946
>put self in corner
>wait with gun

Here's a thought. It has acid blood. It also, presumably breathes.

Baking soda might be more effective than bullets. Why does no one ever think to use their biology against them?

>>33225142
Depends how fast it's running and if it runs in a straight line toward me or not, if that's the case I'm sure I could put a least a dozen thirthy-o-sixes in it's ass before he's on me

>>33218096
Omfg the 21" rule!

I feel like not many know of this.

I'm screwed. My Mosin over my bed would barely help me and I would probably die fumbling to get my 1911

Turn on all the lights. Hunt the bastard aliens 3 style

Die fighting and covered in acid

>>33222999
>that post
>those digits

Put me in the screencap

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>>33225004
What the fuck am I looking at?

>>33225142
I'm gonna ram it with my truck.

It's used to dealing with squishy organic life. I bet it's never seen a truck before.

>>33237645
glen beck meltdown, bowl of cheetos

>>33237692
I mean the website for eggfuckers.

>>33236808
I doubt it breathes because the acid blood would react pretty strongly with moisture in the atmosphere.

Essentially, air humid enough for humans to breathe would have the same effect on the creature that mustard gas has on humans if it had to breathe.

I take off my knickers, spread my legs and wait for the husbandu of my dreams.

Xenomorphs are love, xenomorphs are life and are not for killing.

>>33225142
>weapons you own
Now I'm considering to buy ZSU-23-4.

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Capture and study it for our bio-weapons division, of course.

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>>33222999

>this fucking get

>this fucking post

>>33217946
>light house on fire
>OD on my medication
not taking me alive, the shit those things do to you is worse than death.

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>>33237286
>Weyland-Yutani kicks down my door
>I have xenomorphs hanging from the ceiling
>Just in case this day comes
>They fight their way through the xenos
>There are casualties
>They bust down my bedroom door
>I'm wearing a facehugger
>Backwards
>Covering myself in royal jelly
>Extra jelly on my balls
>Queen's playing with my nipples
>Moan as loudly as possible "GAME OVER MAN!"

>Colonization will never be the same.

>>33222222

>>33222048
>not breeding her and making your own army
>genetic loyalty
>"For Daddy!"

>>33237700
It's a furry porn database. "egg_insertion" is the tag you'll "want" to search for you disgusting sick fuck

Get the ol' browning auto 5

>>33218040
Well the xenomorph is black, pretty sure the cops would have no problem magdumping it.

>>33240099
Xe dindu nuffin, xe wuz a good drone

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>>33229846
>Storm troopers couldn't beat a bunch of fucking teddy bears.
these ones could

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>>33237140
will they use this against who?

>>33236659
>penetrated by point blank conventional handgun
That is not by any measure bullet resistant. That's about as much energy as a 5.56 at 600 yards.

In AVP and AVP 2 the xenomorphs are vulnerable to conventional firearms and die when shot at.
Their exoskeleton has many gaps and holes and i dont think its bullet prood but rather bullet resistant, also fuckhuge unarmoured shiny head.

Still very dangerous, fast, stealthy and scary but still, shoot it with a machine gun or otherwise if you place it well and it dies.
I dont have a machine gun though, i would probably just cry.

>>33222388
Your quick thinking and sexual perversion have allowed you to tame the xenomorph. Unfortunately, a company of mercenaries are on their way with instructions to locate and capture your new girlfriend. In addition to your previous assets, you now have a friendly xenomorph queen and several dozen eggs.
What do you do?

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>>33240206
She effectively shoots it pretty much right at the joint between the jaw and the rest of the skull. It definitely penetrates but I'd also think that would be a relatively weak section of armor. I didn't post that last night because I didn't have the movie pulled up and I wanted to be sure.

She has to mag dump her S&W (according to the Colonial Marines Technical Manual it was in 10mm) into it and it's even still thrashing around afterwards. So definitely not completely bullet proof but I wouldn't feel comfortable with anything less than 7.62 RFN.

>>33218040

>Tail come crashing trough the Drywall behind, missing your face by an inch