NUCLEAR WARHEADS INBOUND

>>33159271
seeing as i live a short drive from a nuke target i hope that our interceptors are up to snuff. If not, im sure i'll see it.

>>33159271
>Hope the base I'm on isn't a primary target
>Do my best to survive the intial exchange
>Happily march of to WWIII and tactical nukes

>>33159271
Get ready to shitpost on /k/ for the next decade.

>>33159271
>Watch the eastern horizion.
>contrails arcing into the sky
>followed by a flash
>well there goes Great Falls
>drive home
>spend 6 weeks in my basement where all my food and shit is stashed
>hopefully these russian iodide tablets dont poison me
>come out when geiger counter says I wont get fried
>see who else made it from my little town
>figure out what to do from there

>>33159271
Find a nice solid brick wall and strike a funny pose so when the flash hits I'll forever be remembered by future archeologists.

t. NYC metro area

>>33162049
>a funny pose
Find a women and demand the orals from her

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>>33159271
reconfigure the junk in my basement into a fallout shelter, call my friends and tell them to do the same.

skyshine is a bitch.

>>33162099
You probably wont be able to call anyone. The first thing people do in a disaster is pick up the phone. Creates a DDOS style jam on the lines and crashes the system.

Even that is assuming the authorities dont lock-out the system for critical traffic only.

I guess I'm doubly fucked if I'm in PA. They'll be aiming at DC and NY and I'll be right in the middle. I'm going full chev chelios until the radiation puts me down.

>Tampa
Drink, maybe hit up my neighbors and smoke a bit. Try and masturbate one last time before me and everything for tens of miles in all directions is turned to ashes.

That's literally all I could reasonable do in this city.

>>33162609
i know, worth a shot though


>>33162687
drive north, you should be out of the blast radius by palm harbor

Not close to any primaries, but I'm dead east of a couple by a few hundred miles. Prevailing winds could possibly carry a lot of fallout right down on top of me.

Also, if I'm at work I may not be able to get home if the pulse knocks out my car or the roads are blocked. Might have to hole up with my parents for a couple weeks with just my CCW. Commuting is a bitch.

>>33162656
>They'll be aiming at DC and NY
No they wont.

>>33159334
>>33159445
>>33162049
>>33162656
>>33163205

Out of curiosity, what do you guys think primary targets are in a nuclear war?

>>33163176
>drive north
Yeah, me and everyone else in the vicinity of USF. Unless I was flying down bbd, i275, i75 or 301 when the call hit the radio I'd never get out.

>>33163492
Nuclear silos, bomber bases, and command and communication facilities. I live near a ton of decommissioned ones so I hope the Russkies have been updating their targetmaps.

>>33163622
They are.

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>>33163608
well if you can't ram your way to the veterans expressway there is always plan b.

Thank God that I live near no important anything's.

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>>33159271

>your tv

>>33159271
I love listening to these EAS broadcasts whether they're real or not.

raep
at least i'll die with a smile

Not prepped at all but I think I'm far enough away from a major population center that the blast isn't going to kill me.

The fallout will in time though.

The real question is:

>do you let the radiation poisoning kill you?
>do you kill yourself before that?

immediate action for a nuclear detonation, so lay on the ground feet flat on the ground and uncovered skin covered (hands under chest/crotch etc) then you wait 90 seconds minimum or till debris fallout ends

>>33162099
This. I've already got it partially built. Just need to add more mass.

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>>33163608
Steal a boat and head for the keys.

>>33164542
it's a days work to build a fallout shelter that will save you from radiation death.
http://www.oism.org/nwss/

>>33162049
I'd suggest either two big middle fingers, or dabbing

>>33167037
>fresh water

>>33167243
'couple clear tarps and some cans to make solar stills and you're good to go.

>>33167037
305 here, drive to the keys.

>>33167243
Wait 4 hours for it to rain...

>>33167283
>rain
You think acid rain is bad? Try post-nuclear rain.

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>>33167346
>implying nuclear bombs actually exist anyway

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4CvjdbQ29qU

Better question.

What does /k/ do when this comes on the TV.

>>33167442
I'd just keep shit posting on /k/

>>33159271
That's the tornado warning system

I live on the Oregon Coast. Even the State Capitol is 275 miles away. I have a stash at each family member's house and live in a relatively small logging community. If possible I'd escape to the hunting cabin to be away from any neighborhood shenanigans.

Currently where I live I'll be fine so long as they don't hit LA with their biggest shit. Where I'm moving however is a big business area but as far as I know nothing special in the eyes of government targets so all in all i'll just die from radiation

>>33162049
>ywn be immortalized as an atomic shadow
Why even live

no way of running away so I'd drive towards it so I get vaporized faster

>>33163608
You can chill with me fellow USF bro

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>>33167442

wat do?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mw_HKzo9Ync

>>33167442
Probably look at my ceiling.

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>>33169034

spend my final moments shitposting on /k/ with other people who are about to die

>>33159271

I would jump into my VaultTec™ Vault and be glad I collected 500,000 bottle caps and all the Chinese rifles I could carry.

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>>33159271
Air raid sirens were being tested today, made sure to salute the flag before leaving for work.

Fuckin' maximum spook, I hate nukes.

Also, I know the flag is backwards, but the other side is low detail; I'll live with it.

I live close enough to NYC that I will almost definitely die horribly from radiation poisoning. At that point, might as well head down to lower Manhattan and moon the air burst from the top of the Freedom Tower.

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>>33169034
BEHOLD
A PALEBLOOD SKY

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>>33167442
What is this supposed to be? Skin walker takeover? Ayy invasion? Zombies? Or is it just something spoopy like gristers being visible or some shit?

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>>33167442
Grab a rifle and my chest rig full of loaded mags and attempt to shoot the shit out of whatever it is.

>>33159271
honestly log onto this to say my last good byes to you fags then hit up discord and do the same then get mates round and plan on whats to come in the next few months

this is the only cool thing in San Francisco

https://youtu.be/ga1btajqcpQ

you're going about your day to day business suddenly this come on TV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qV0I-iA5lJU

But without the "accidental broadcast" parts, it's serious.

Would you take the greatest liberty of all, /k/?

>>33162049
This. I'd drop my pants and start jerking it but that might be difficult to make out in shadow form.

>>33169417
that shit is dumb as fuck
we fight
we don't just suicide

You're cleaning your rifle when suddenly, this comes on your TV. What do you do?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BB-8ci0lBc

>>33163478
>No they wont.
Why not, exactly?

>>33169453
Function check at the TV.

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>>33169417
It's communist propaganda! Don't fall for it!

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Find someplace with a nice view, set up a makeshift speaker and a lawn chair, and listen to some GNR while my face melts off at 150 million degrees Fahrenheit.

>>33170082
sounds good to me

These videos are fucking creepy. Especially the one where NK launches a bunch of missiles target at specific cities, and I live in one. I showed it to my friend and it happened to be the exact time as the launch.

If we had a 2 hour notice though wouldn't we be able to shoot it down easily?

>>33170115
Our current ICBM defences are pretty shitty and fail more often than they succeed. Though NK ICBMs fail 100% of the time so there's really no threat.

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>>33159271
Well lets see. I got JBLM, Bangor sub base, my own towns naval station, and the largest aircraft manufacturing facility on the planet all within a 75-mile radius of me.

Fun fact: Bangor sub base is also home to roughly a third of the US's nuke inventory.

Am I fucked?

Pray that the two nuclear blasts incinerate me quickly because I live in between two Military bases about 20 miles apart.

Laugh, go back to drinking beer on the porch since I live a good 90 miles from any big city.
Then remember I live 30 miles from an Air Force base and start praying.

>>33163492

Hopefully the USA entirely.

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>>33159271
Half the buildings on my campus were designed to survive a nuclear blast and have multiple levels of underground structure. If I'm on campus when it comes on I assume I have 6 minutes max to get to the nearest shelter.

If I'm at my house the basement would function decently as a temporary shelter. I'd probably spend 4 minutes gathering as much water as I could before hunkering down.

>>33170146
We both are.

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>>33167442

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>>33169417
I SEE THROUGH YA LIES, RUSSIAN. I SHALL NEVER KILL MYSELF.

>>33159271
https://youtu.be/htU6TEhCI0U

>>33172684
Not enough nukes, anon. Gotta choose prime spots.

welp
I only live about 10 miles from the city of Los Angeles so I'd go in the backyard and put on this song and hope it hits during the guitar solo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJh47LybCkU
Or the part where he says "Mama always told me not to look into the eyes of the sun, but Mama, that's where the fun is"

>>33167442
>cat knocks on window just as it says do not respond to any knocks
fucking /k/ats

>>33167442
honestly if this ever started playing on tv the first thing im doing is reaching for my earphones and blasting sabaton
remember /k/omrads fear is the mind killer
something hunting you down when you're ready is one thing
something hunting you down while you're shitting yourself is another
and if you're gonna go down what better way to do it than blasting your favorite music going out the same way you came in kicking and screaming

>>33163660
>fast fallout shelter
>dig a fucking grave under your car

morbid. but also, who the fuck can do that in enough time to survive?

>>33167442
Really goes along well with this pasta, imo.
http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/The_Disappearance_of_Ashley,_Kansas

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set out lawn chair in the feild crack open a cold one pray then wait for death

Is put my dock and balls over a big rock to bake the shillouette of my genitals into the stone in hopes some Russian soldier would find it and laugh their ass off

>>33179944
Cock*

>>33178114
16 man hours, there is the expectation that russia will start evacuating cities prior to a nuclear launch to minimize counter strike casualties. when you get reports of moscow emptying, start digging.

>>33174922
Build 200 million nuclear warheads within the span of 10 years

>>33167442
Fuck, I don't want to watch anything like this at night and spook myself out of sleeping. Anyone have a rundown?

>>33180386
That would probably do her, yeah.

>>33177349
Anon, it says be silent at all times.

Also, someone made a similar one of this with voice.

https://youtu.be/V-9urkKihtw

Very simply

>shelter in place

Given I live inside an urban center, even if I'm on the outskirts, any time between receiving a warning and the nuke actually hitting would be useless on a normal day - let alone everyone panicking and insta-fucking every road and highway with congestion as everyone tries to get out.

Being able to get into a basement and spending the extra time preparing the final touches properly in hopes I don't get vaporized in the initial blast would be best.

Even if you have a bug out bag, there is always something you can add to it if you have a 10 minute warning.

>>33170146
I make three. Probably gonna be fine, I live in Tenino. As long as I don't get killed by a meth addict.

>>33169417
Though I may die my corpse's wreath will be made of spent brass and bloodied lead.

>>33159271
Catch it.

>>33161757
I eagerly wait for the day, there won't be any traffic in NoVA at last!

>>33163622
And oil refineries

>>33181868
>live 3 miles from the NRO
Hopefully the Chinese realize the NRO is mostly overpaid contractors and government employees out to lunch

90% probability that the DMV turns into the Zone in a nuclear war though. Carderock, Langley, DC, NRO, NGA, ODNI OSINT are all far too juicy targets. We need a missile shield