Cobra

>>33156826
Depending on what else was going on in the world?

>>33156826
They have the best theme
https://youtu.be/nv36Hatr4qs

>>33156826
Hell yeah in a heartbeat. You seen the baller kit and vehicles they've got?

>>33156826
Can my commander be storm shadow

>>33156935
>not the baroness

>>33156826
If I had the slightest idea on how to do so, I'd give them all zergfaces. All hail /k/obra.

>>33156826
Only if I can be a ninja.

>>33156826
I am honestly a bit unsure about their ideology other than "whatever cobra commander wants."

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>>33156826
Trying.

>>33156935
Not wanting Baroness to be your CO

>>33156826
well your enemies are meme tier,

heres an idea, lets give the blind guy a suit covered in fucking hand grenades and high caliber pistols. lets top that shit off with 2 razor sharp swords. No way in hell that can backfire

Do they have dental?

>>33157034
Something is wrong with that SVD...

>>33156826
Would I?

>>33157097
>And the martial arts

>>33157122
yes THE martials arts

>>33157175
All of them. Even Rex-kwan-do and gun-kata

>>33157302
>Rex-kwan-do
brb, signing up for Cobra

>>33157045
At least someone is asking the important questions.

>>33157097
>e-4
These guys barely kill anyone how are they that high up

>>33156826
Sure, if that's their kit.

>>33156826
do they have a website?

cab I be an associate member, like the FOP?

>>33157063
Its a blue laser SVD

>>33157054
cobra lacks trigger discipline? for shame...

>>33157555
Cobra recruits are usually from motorpool or supply.

What's the male to female ratio like

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>>33159101
Pretty decent

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>>33157302
Especially Rex-Kwan-Do

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>>33159107
Cobra seems to have a lot of female troopers.

>>33159109
lol
I feel like that will go over a lot of peoples heads

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>>33159109
>be me
>first day of training
>guy comes out wearing American flag pants
>says his martial arts is the best in the world
>picks out a skeletal man from accounting to demonstrate
>he just slaps him over and over
>should have done Krav Maga

>>33159130
That should have been a massacre but no. Bullet proof airplane, no maneuvering, shit missiles.

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>>33159177

>>33159140
Those pins take ~30lbs of force to remove. That bandolier does not weigh 30lbs. Failed booby trap. Also no way is that guy gonna dodge 20 rounds at that range he dead as fuck.
>>33159192
I am legitimately angry now.

>>33159201
you gonna nitpick the original cartoon too and how laser guns would never work IRL?

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>>33159201

>>33156826
If we get to wear that and get an AK im down looks /fa/ as fuck

>>33159206
Its just aren't they supposed to be elite troops. A pulse laser is also in the works and it seems like it will be a viable weapon.

>>33157650
Cobra is more than willing to destroy whatever that P90 is pointed at

>>33159229
Kek

>>33159192
>no reloading
>no taking cover until halfway through
>every. single. bullet. missed.
>even the good guys are like fuck this new meta
>pulls pin with teeth
>throws NOT A FRAG
>explodes, killing everything in a city block

well fugg

>>33157650
>Implying baddies care

>>33156826

Depends entirely how much booze you are allowed to have at barracks.

>>33156994
>I am honestly a bit unsure about their ideology other than "whatever cobra commander wants."

Evil?

>>33159212

I just.... just ..... why

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>>33159351
Why not

>>33159375
This is an insult to tanks everywhere. It's offensive as fuck.

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>>33159386

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>>33159375
Amazing

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>>33156826
Please, I'd rather join the best troopers. They have the best leadership, and after the Queen of England is kidnapped, the best retirement package.

>>33159118
>>33159107
I can't imagine they're any better at their jobs than current day women in the military but at least the cobra chicks are all hot blondes maybe even wife material

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>>33159402
Cobra has some nice benefits. They have a health plan. There's a giant R&R facility in the Antarctic. They can even file for unemployment despite being a terrorist organization.

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>>33159413
They seemed alright.

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>>33159426

>>33159426
>that knock out punch
New waifu found

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>>33159426
Not bad

>>33159413
>baroness

>>33159140
What is this from? It looks high budget.

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>>33159740
GI Joe Resolute. It was a miniseries.

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>>33159786
Thanks!

Heres a picture for your troubles:

>>33156999
why the anal beads?

>>33159107
>>33159118
Yeah, look at the vag badge on the front of the hovercraft.

>>33157012
But snake eyes isn't blind. Stop stealing jokes from action figure therapy.

>>33157012
>blind
He's only mute

>>33159786
When a fatnik claims "muh aircraft carriers" show them this.

>>33156826
only if I got goggles to put the uniform together

>>33159976
>could blow the shit out of the UN
>instead delivers bizarrely complicated message
Truly a Cobra plan.

Then again blowing the shit out of the UN would've made them the good guys.

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>>33160024
Remember when Cobra Commander tried to eliminate fiat currency?

>>33160049
This is the real reason why they were hunted down by G.I. Jew

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>>33159418
>Yfw cobra has better benefits than the us military

>>33160049
Remember when gi joe and cobra played hockey with a piece of equipment that can manipulate the weather

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>>33160151
Remember when the Joes stole the USS Constitution in order to fight a Montana class battleship?

>>33160190
Remember when cobra commander was in transformers

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>>33159350
It all makes sense now.

>>33157302
>gun-kata
How do they lose?

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>>33160241

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>>33160265

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>>33157045

Strato Viper pilots are surgically enhanced to endure ultra-high G-loads. I'd imagine dental for the rank-and-file is covered.

>>33160265
Cobra commander has a sweet mustache

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>>33160280

>>33160214
He was?

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>>33160403
Yes. The episode Only Human. He was going by the name Old Snake.

>>33160049
you obviously haven't been paying attention to news concerning monetary systems.

bit-coin is here to stay and there's currently a group of powerful bankers that want to force the developed nations to go completely digital.
in other words, they are actually trying to eliminate fiat currency.

>>33160421
Isn't a tradition for every person who plays cobra commander they also play starscream

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>>33160456
A few Starscreams have been Cobra Commanders.

>>33160265
>>33160280
>>33160293
it's funny how he's intentionally trying to destroy a system that made him rich twice.

>>33160293
I'd read a story where Cobra is making so much money from their side projects that they give up on terrorism entirely, causing a schism in the organization.

>We were supposed to destroy the system, not profit from it!
>Nonsense, we're ruling the world, that's the only thing that counts.

>>33160448
>digital money can never be fiat currency

>>33160516
What was cobra's political ideology? Socialism, communist, capitalist or something else

>>33160624
evil

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>>33156826

No

>>33160448
You seem to be confused, the push for digital is just so banks/credit card companies can make more money and so governments can see everything you do with your money.

>>33160673
So the first two

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>>33160024
>Then again blowing the shit out of the UN would've made them the good guys.

It's funny because it's true.

>>33160998
Then they blew up Moscow

>>33159201
The bandolier is attatched to the guy. When they cut the rope it's only the metal wire. Pretty sure the dude weighs more than lbs. Jesus, you fucking autists.


C A R T O O N .

>>33159351

He knew how easy it was to jam the treads

Knowing, in this case, was pretty much the whole enchilada

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>>33156826
of course

>>33157555
Turnover rate is sky high dude

>>33159426
I think that's the first time I've ever seen minions use their superior numbers effectively.

>>33156826
COBRA LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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One vision, one purpose!

>>33162143
Brotherhood,
Unity,
Peace.

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>>33162143
>>33162166

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>>33162141
Oh god I forgot all about that.

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>>33156826

God no. Hydra all the go.

If a head is cut off, two more will take its place

Hail Hydra

>>33159426
>men shouldn't hit women
>so we'll make evil henchwomen to kick the heroine's ass
Thanks, american puritanism. I'm so glad you exist.

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>>33162337
how do we know they aren't each a splinter group of each other?

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>>33162338
It's great.

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>>33162338
>tfw your penis was mutilated at birth to appease these people's absurb beliefs about masturbation
G-d bless America and "Doctor" John Kellogg.

>>33156935
Why not god tier sir pentor?

>>33157635
Im sure someone has a cobra fanpage out there, would be fucking funny to make some super virus ridden ultra secure dark web page about joing cobra, like a hacker easter egg

>>33160717
That rpk 74 is fucking swank

>>33162408

If that's the case, I apologize for your splinter group being pleb tier.

Hail Hydra.

>>33162446
T H I C C

>>33159118

Would it be legal to tape them since they're non state militants?

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Fuck all of you.

>>33160049

Man, is Cobra Commander some fucking gold bullion hording survivalfag?

>>33162141
That whole movie was fucking weird.

>>33163353
>Shutokei's Special Armed Garrison
>Evil
Pick one, they're the good fellas who remove commies and organized white collar criminals from the streets of Japan. They even had members responsible enough to remove corruption from their own organizations

>>33163422
Crashing through the sky comes a fearful cry COOOBBBRRRAAA

>>33159375
average t34 build quality

>>33163469
Fuck the main dude, he was a pussy. I'm here for the commie killing.

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>>33157034
>No trigger
Triggered

>>33162141
>under rated post

I was trying to keep to my self at my works smoking area, but your post ruined that anon

>>33157046
I'd love to be a Crimson Guard. Y'all got a damn spiffy uniform.

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>>33163760
They have Union too.

>>33157555
E-4 Mafia is no longer a slang term.

>>33156826
Are these the Trump Troopers who are going to enact Zero Tolerance and get rid of America's Marijuana problem?

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>>33163783
They let them take the trays out of the canteen, or is that the canteen?

>>33159140
people die in g.i. joe now? Have I been in a coma?

>>33159140
>No audio
>WebM

Fuck you moot!

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>>33163858

>>33162446
That episode was weird and depressing

>>33163353
>the Capitol Police
They're basically the Shupo from Weimar Germany with way better hats.

>>33163760
>Not a televiper

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>>33164828
Enjoy your dumb visor.

>>33164848
>only trooper that tells his leaders they're dumbasses

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>>33165140

Remember when Cobra did a telethon?

>>33165278
post!

>>33156826

I'd rather be a henchman for The Monarch.

>>33165663
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtssHDiPsfk

There's also this great collection relevant to the thread
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thbICk05yPk

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>>33156826
>Tailored Speedsuits

Oh my.

>>33160482
He's not destroying, he is controlling.

>>33165679
Dude the monarch is gonna be pissed

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>>33166007
>Speedsuits

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>>33159822

>>33166571
>mfw the tractor-trailer honks

>>33156826
HYDRA, maybe.

COBRA? Hell no.

SMERSH? Depends on the dental plan.

>>33162460
jokes on them cuz I can still masturbate just fine

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>>33156826
>Cobra
>Not Brotherhood of Nod masterrace
You tried

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WE FEAR NOT OUR MORTALITY

>>33156826
What kind of helmets are those

>>33159302
Cant have people shown getting shot in childrens cartoon oh no. Its totally okay to make the get blown because you wont see giblets and blood then

>>33157010
>Not wanting to be turned into a baroness body double.

>>33164828
>Not an Alleyviper

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>>33168193
Are they wearing repurposed Russian gear

>>33159972
A clip from one of your chinese cartoons? Good to see "fatniks" are the ones not grounded in reality, apparently

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>>33167968

>>33168245
One can only hope

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>>33168245
>orange and blue uniform

>>33157034
>the name's fumbles. It was always fumbles.

>>33168572
I like it

>>33156826
I don't see them wearing Ushankas or firing 3 nuggets taped together while entirely naked, so I suspect that I would not entirely fit in with Cobra. Not that I wouldn't try of course, but Vodka and LSD can only get you so far.

>>33156826
do they have any bring-your-stuff-to-work days?

>>33170216
Only on Tuesday

>>33168572
You can thank the late 80's/early 90's for making all the characters wear flourescent camo and haul around a spring loaded missile launcher that's a tall as they are.

>>33156826
in a heartbeat.
international terrorism with a purpose.
getting paid.
red lasers>blue lasers.
anything gets blown up I auto eject and deply parachute
Aesthetic uniforms
henching 4 lyfe with better bennies than hydra, the monarch. just chilling with ex SF all over the world.
right wing death squad murder mercenary frat house
butchering multi ethnic stereotype gi joes

>reading the thread
well everyone has already beaten me to every point I've made. I have become one with the kube.

also as a kid I always got cobra figures over joes. villians are always cooler.

>>33156853
holy shit this guys right. if a fucking recruiter came to me with this video in H.S. and some forms to sign I woulda got on board.

>>33171031
>villians are always cooler.
This desu.

I've always wondered why the baddies always got the cool shit as a kid.

Like dammit I want the cool shit

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>>33171263
Would you operate a HISS Tank or Trouble Bubble?

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>>33171292

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>>33156826
>Would you join cobra
I heard the pay was insanely good for merc standards...
but no.

>>33171297
>photo of us soldier in a Vietnam swamp being rescued by special forces 1968

>>33171297
i had 2 of these

>>33156853
>1970: GI Joe
>2017: GI Jose

This thread reminded me of the psa parody on the early days YouTube
https://youtu.be/ogEtfIdgjpY

>>33163858
>>33159140
>>33159192
>people die in g.i. joe now? Have I been in a coma?

Makes sense when you think about it. There are two types of people who will watch this stuff:
A) Adults who watched the original as a kid and now have adult tastes.
B) Kids who have been brought up on COD and anime.

Absolutely nobody wants to see 80s style zero fatality cartoons anymore, they're just moving with the times.

>>33170791
sounds fine to me, where do I sign?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0R_PVfyYyiU

VOTE FOR COBRA

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>>33156999
Is that EKO Cobra?
I have one of their MR73s.

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>>33171631
what did you do to that gun you monster?

>>33170216
No shit, when I interviewed at Dunbar, they told me I could bring my own duty handgun. It was very tempting.

>>33159972
I'm now imaginging a russian arguing with that
>idiot cyka have proof i see american documentary gi joe

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>>33168353
I know right.

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>>33163816
>trump troopers
that sounds both retarded and awesome
would enlist

>>33157063
It's be AR-15'ified because AR-15 is the best fucking gun in the whole God damn world, you stupid ass Commie sack of dog shit.

>>33160214
There was an entire crossover comic event a few years back

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>>33172766

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>>33159786
>Pressure valves explode in fireball for no reason
>Innocent looking fuse box explodes for no reason

Amazing

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>>33172790
How is that even possible

>>33172859
Storm shadow placed bombs on them

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>>33172859
Ninja sabotage.

>>33172867
80s Transformer Comics were... Strange
Nowhere near as bad as japanese Transformers comics though, between Story of Binaltech and goddamm Kiss Players

>>33159192
that's worse aim than hipfireing stormtroopers for fucks sake

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>>33172938
The new Transformer/GI Joe series was insane.

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>>33173062
>all of this wat

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>>33173062
The hell

Can I be Trouser Snake?

>>33173262
Only if I get to be Waterboard.

>>33159192
It's like barrel rifling and aerodynamic bullets don't exist.

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>>33173543

>>33156826
They never really say what they'd DO with the world, should they end up actually ruling it.

Childhood is idolizing the Joes

Adulthood is realizing that Cobra was right

>>33159192
Time to upgrade from smooth bore boys

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>>33173937
this

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>>33173937
Remember when Cobra Commander used CGI to change the ending to King Kong?

>>33159192

>The only tactical use for firearms is to puncture pressurized pipes

>>33172881
Or Islamic terrorists
> 9/11 never forget

>>33169159
That's more of a GI Joe thing. You just gotta come up with a stupid gimmick and then you get an equally stupid nickname.

>>33173062
Fuck, /tg/ needs to build a setting out of this.

>>33172790
>How can humans even compete?

>>33172790
Wtf

>>33172790
CHROMED

>>33159109
kek

>>33159118
Qt terrorist waifus

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>>33160065

>>33170961
haha jesus, remember the drug elimination force and the greasy ass gangster character with the pony tail and fedora gi joe was hunting?

>>33156826
Yes. Because they win.

>>33167701
cobra

>>33167302
WE WILL SERVE TO THE BEST OF OUR ABILITY

>>33172790
I have several questions

>>33172790
DON'T DATE ROBOTS!

>>33172007
It was probably a police trade in

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>>33172790
>covergirl
>headmaster

>>33180137
Sexy

>>33172790
>>33179756
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoMiYklHvjk

I would join S.P.H.I.N.X.

>>33156853
COBBRRRAAAHHHH!!!

>>33156999
>(((

>>33159956
He's not mute, he's taken a vow of silence

Fag

>>33159999
>))))

>>33160730
Plus they prolly were the ones who bought into Bitcoin so they would keep all the profits when the loser-normies decided to buy in when the prices rose

>>33159177
built using reverse engineered transformer tech.

they share a universe. no shit.

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>>33183513
Wrong

G.I. Joe seems legit though.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIylwth99Wg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25SA2O9p-7c
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0V4drvPw2Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ezs2QbuFTQ

>>33183653
>vocal cords cannot be repaired
He's a ninja, he shouldn't have any difficulty mastering esophageal speech, or getting a phonatory implant paid by GI Joe massive funds.

>>33183653
Lucky dude gets to fuck the redhead

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>>33183653

>>33185304
>redhead
she's probably crazy then, though

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>this thread

>>33184398
He probably prefers to be silent rather than sound like a retard.

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>>33185398
Not really

>>33183653
That's one way to lose your voice

>>33185665
Is that scope attached on the side

>>33156826
I'd join the GI Joes and become a Cobra double agent.

>>33187506
Fumbles

>>33185665
She's a qt

>>33159212
I don't even know where to start.

>>33163707

Did you not watch the same movie as me? Fuse was a stonecold badass.

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>>33156826
>>33162143
>>33162337
>>33163353
>>33167302
>>33159402
Can we just start posting groups with faceless goons? They're my favorite.

>>33191518
>mfw scout
>mfw almost literal horse blinders on helmet

>>33191562
Me and my brother as kids had this theory that it was so they don't freak out when riding speeder bikes.

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>>33191518

>>33192014
so they wouldn't turn, either, i suppose

>>33194069
Those are Spanish catholic priests

>>33195491
Specialized troopers often have sensors and HUDs in their visors and scout helmets in particular have enhanced vision. Perhaps the flange prevents glare or protects the sensitive optics?

>>33195709
or it's just a shitty poorly conceived costume that would never work in real life

>>33195533
What did you expect?

>>33195779
>salty
Though considering how arrows from teddy bears killed them, they weren't great in fantasy either.

>>33196214
truth. and the enhanced vision and ear microphones didn't help them from being snuck up on by the rebels