Improvised weapons

Ball peen hammer

Broken lightbulbs taped to a baseball bat drenched in HIV positive blood

>>32963662

Sharpened fece-encrusted wooden pole

>>32963662
Just make sure it's a tool that you bought and leave it as-is. Don't modify it in any way or it will be a legal nightmare. If there weren't tools already good for killing I would say it's worth modifying things to properly defend yourself but you have plenty of options.

Maybe take up falconry and send that after an intruder.

>>32963662
Stick your keys between your fingers and use them as brass knuckles

>>32963662
Get one illegally then.

>>32963662
Here's your attention/reply.
Anyway, baseball bat or sturdy kitchen knife, obviously.

>>32963662
Your best bet is to go to a hardware store and buy a tool because it's gonna be better than anything you can make. I recommend a large crowbar

File: tumblr_o6crjzE5hk1v0pigno1_500.jpg (45KB, 409x409px)

45KB, 409x409px

>>32963792
>Be me
>Browsing /k/ late at night
>hear a rattle at the backdoor
>itsshowtime.jpg
>I unlock my trusty falcon's cage
>Door splits open
>I come out wearing only my falcon glove and underwear
>"Go Mordecai!"
>starts pecking out the eyes of the intruder
>can't stop screaming
>"Finish him, Mordecai!"
>Digs talons into perp
>Runs outside screaming in agony
>Go to bed
>Mordecai returns the next day
>mfw

File: IMG_0788.gif (383KB, 1280x720px)

383KB, 1280x720px

>>32963843
I keked

File: 1485320402705.jpg (19KB, 391x278px)

19KB, 391x278px

>>32963843
>be me
>going to alleviate some poor sap of his possessions
>stake out house for a couple of days, place is covered in bird shit and trash
>no lights on ever
>I come back the next night
>Pick the lock and proceed to get my hand covered in birdshit
>thisbetterbeworthit.jpg
>crack open door
>whole house is covered in shit
>there's a huge cage in the corner
>wonder if I just stumbled upon a rape dungeon
>in the other corner I see a morbidly obese man wearing nothing but a glove and underwear caked in bird shit
>he throws a fucking bird at me
>bird starts pecking at me
>I nope the fuck out of there
>mfw I discovered a sex dungeon

>>32963662
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r249ZcByCjU

File: 4f084a22f14dad6370b0ed25df5a3cd1.jpg (6KB, 236x236px)

6KB, 236x236px

>>32963662
One of these but load it with pool balls. If not, just use baseballs. Also a baseball bat wuld work for close quarters

>>32963662
Get one illegally and say you wrestled the gun from the person who invaded your house

>>32963662
Depends on your country's laws about what constitutes a weapon. You should be fine keeping a large, fixed-blade knife around and supplementing that with a light wooden broomstick if you can learn how to handle one-handed weapons.

The baseball bat and kitchen knife are both general go-to's though.

- bright flashlight

- go to the hardware store and pick up hardwood dowel in inch+ diameter and voila, you have a baton/cane/staff that's a really effective melee weapon

>>32963692
/thread

Jon Snow didn't need Long Claw to kill the Magnar of the Thenns...he used a fucking hammer

>>32963843
wow.,
that is comfy

>>32963959
also very funny

>>32963662

In the wrong hands any tool can be a weapon.

In the right hands, everything is weapon, or nothing is.

File: 505_6-1024x729.jpg (103KB, 1024x729px)

103KB, 1024x729px

>>32963662
7th century woodworking axe (also used for combat, before the types split into dedicated models, one for ships, one for humans), and some history books about viking stuff like ship building showing you're interested in the subject ...
Some gardening tools or sports equipment would also work well ..

In my experience the ol' bleach in the supersoaker to the face always worked well.

>>32967530
Pesticide in a pressure washer would work pretty nice.

>>32965903
really makes you think

an axe

File: WHOOOOOO.jpg (49KB, 449x604px)

49KB, 449x604px

>>32963843
Jesus Christ, I kekked

>>32963662
What I usually do for home defense is have a large fixed blade knife near my bed and a baseball bat around.

>>32965243
I'll take ballistics for $500 Alex.

File: pencil.jpg (33KB, 500x375px)

33KB, 500x375px

>>32963662
>John Wick