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Home Defense Stories

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Thread replies: 16
Thread images: 5

File: asuka confusion.png (2MB, 1174x1059px) Image search: [Google]
asuka confusion.png
2MB, 1174x1059px
You guys aren't gonna fucking believe this shit. I got one hell of a story, boys. This happened last night b-t-dubs.

>sitting in my room, listening to Title Fight with headphones in, it's about 10:00PM
>hear a small shout coming from downstairs, take headphones off
>listen closely, hear nothing
>shrug it off, put earphones back in
>fuck yeah shoegaze

>next thing I fucking know there's a super loud thump sound
>i live alone
>grab 1911, start clearing upstairs rooms
>slowly start creeping downstairs, hear what sounded like some sort of fat old man grumbling and mumbling about his gay grandson
>turn corner, lock eyes with naked crackhead with a crackpipe the size of a fucking dildo stuck in his ass
>mfw

>crackhead banshee screams, start's making Don Vito noises and charges at me
>raise pistol, pull trigger, *click*
>fuck, forgot to rack the slide
>crackhead tackles me and takes his crackpipe out of his ass and smashes it on my head, starts beating my ass
>knocked the fuck out

I woke up to police at my door with crackhead in custody, looked around and I was covered in blood and fecal matter. Turns out crackhead stuck his pipe in his ass because he had severe diarrhea and needed a buttplug of sorts. only broke into my house to find the bathroom, beat my ass, shit on me and then stole my gun and tried to break into someone elses house to use the bathroom 20 minutes later

That's the story of why you keep one in the chamber.
>>
On another note, I'm currently at the hospital trying to find out if I'm gonna get Staph or not
>>
Yup, this is Screencasp worthy
>>
>>32924297
>stuff that never happened

still, include me in the screencap, I raughed
>>
File: shitty.png (115KB, 917x1057px) Image search: [Google]
shitty.png
115KB, 917x1057px
>>
>>32924297
Pics of scratches and 1911 or gtfo
>>
File: tmp_23288-images(6)-884539304.jpg (6KB, 225x225px) Image search: [Google]
tmp_23288-images(6)-884539304.jpg
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>>32924297
You had a pretty shitty night by the looks of it
>>
>>32924297
that made me kek, however
>1911 as HD gun
>not keeping it cocked and locked with thumb safety on at all times
JMB is disappointed
if somebody has the 20mm self defense cap I'd love to have it, I need that one again.
>>
>>32924346
I love the fact that it was an M82A2.
>20mm recoilless rifle vs. Jamal Adindunuffin
>>
File: 1485145165651.png (51KB, 657x527px) Image search: [Google]
1485145165651.png
51KB, 657x527px
>>32924336
1911 got taken to police station for evidence. No scratches btw, just a bruised ass face and fat gash in my forehead. Can't take pictures right now because I'm about to go into X-ray room, I'll update the thread later
>>
did you get your gun back or did to poe-leece confiscate it or some shit
>>
>>32924388

see >>32924381
>>
>>32924297
>Title Fight
Ma nigga
>>
>>32924297
ban assault crackpipes
>>
>>32924334
1 0 F E E T H I G H E R
>>
>>32924320
it's hepatitis i'd be worried about, they can cure some of that now though.
Thread posts: 16
Thread images: 5


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