Home defense stories

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>>32826008

>cont.

>DROP IT MOTHER FUCKER!
>he turns around
>gun light on
>he's blinded and raising his weapon
>hose the son of a bitch
>fired about 10-12 shots pretty quickly (thanks guyslee)
>saw a flash while I was hitting him, I must have hit his gun too
>light is budget and has a small radius, still dark
>shine light on the ground to get a good look at the body
>heart stops
>no blood, no body, just splintered wood and broken glass
>what fuck what the fuck what the fuck
>realize I'm gonna have to explain to the cops I just shot houdini at 3 in the morning
>hear sirens, must have been pretty close while on patrol
>start worrying they're gonna find the weed in the house
>parents are awake, asking wtf just happened
>for wanting answers they wont shut the fuck up long enough to get them
>consider just taking all weed stuff in a plastic bag and tossing it onto my roof to wedge between the chimney and roof
>too late, cops are already here
>manage to calm down enough to begin to explain, mention it was a home invasion and give all the earlier details, they see the door busted from the outside in
>I didn't realize it was a dream until the cops thought it was completely normal that the body disappeared with no blood, said I did a good job defending my parents
>wat

Anyone had this dream before?

Jesus man go see a fucking shrink or something

>Be in giant Roman type indoor pool with fake waterfalls
>Everyone is naked
>Changing to go home
>Naked black guy with massive erection starts hitting on me
>Flirting turns into attempted sexual assault
>Pull Glock 19 out of gym bag
>Pull trigger
>Gun clicks and sound of broken internals rattling inside case
>WTF
>Tyrone culturally enriches my butthole in front of mass of female onlookers
>Wake up right as he cums in me
>Realize I don't even own a Glock 19
>Dafuq

>>32826033

the odd part is I don't even live in that house anymore and the chances of a home invasion in my current neighborhood is practically zero

Likely I still dream of that house because I loved that place and was always terrified of home invasions as a kid. But now that I'm grown up and I responded differently. Also weird shit always happens in dreams.

If you condense all that wankerfiction and get to the point, it would be easier to fap to.
But hey maybe you are really into teasing and blue balls and shit what do I know.

>inexplicable fat Italian gangsters attacking my home
>one already dispatched himself by falling from a great height and being retarded
>fighting the other who is weilding a large cleaver
>slashes at me, somehow misses
>throws the knife directed at my gut
>so fukt m8
>broad side of the knife hits me and is deflected by the metal belt buckle of my 2007 era middle schooler cargo shorts
>laughing I'm so happy I don't have a knife in my fucking gut
>gangster gives up
>wake up

I should go into the dream military desu

>>32826008
>be 2054
>be at home
>intruder breaks in
>Guns banned since 2020 where hillary become president so i take my trusty baseball bat with me
>sneak up on the perp and beat the shit out of him and calls the cops
>when the cops arrive they arrest me for attempted murder and excessive force
>the intruder is a refugee from Afghanistan that claims he had a sexual emergency and needed some pussy quick
>a hate crime sentence is added on top of my sentence, along with the mandatory; white, male, and hetero sentences that automatically carry an additional 5 years in prison with them.
>have to spend 30 years in prison while Muhammad is raping my daughter since the 'Refugees welcome' act of 2034 that allow any refugee to legally claim residence in any house with white occupants and they have to comply or they get fined

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>be me
>college fag in apartment with 3 room mates, 2 of which are girls
>one morning one of the girls comes crying to me telling me her and her bf broke up
>whogivesashit.jpg
>tells me he has been beating her and to call the cops if he shows up
>...ohok.jpg
>tells us he is mentally unstable with an anger problem
>u sure know how to pick em girlie
>she gets a protection order against him
>few weeks go by and scumbag shows up in the night.
>Tactically light him the fuck up with my paintball cause "guns are scawwy"
>he gets arrested
>Keep my gun in the apartment now.
>he has a few dirtbag friends who would love a crack at me now
>I wait silently....waiting to paint someone neon yellow again

bump for interest

>>32826016
All the time. I fucking hate those. Nothing like the dread of knowing that you are gonna have your life destroyed for saving your own skin. The relief when you wake up though.

>>32826577

I swear to god it's gotta be all the shit going on these days that's making us worry like this. Like were gonna become the victim twice. Once when we get attacked and again when we defend ourselves.

>>32826008
Well you never met me then. Hi, my name is Tyler. Me and this black gentleman named Tyrone simply busted in because it's cold outside.

Shhhhhh, be a liberal. Me and Tyrone are going to rape your girlfriend, then maybe peanut butter sandwiches.

>>32827044
I live in Commiefornia too, so, in my mind at least, I'm pretty much fucked if someone tries to kill me. Either I die, or my life is fucking over because I don't have a paper that says I'm allowed to protect myself, or the court is gonna find that the guy who was trying to kill my 2 seconds before I killed him was 'no longer a threat' and send me to prision for 30 years. You know your state is terrorist when you have nighmares about them unjustly destroying your life. I need to get the fuck out of here.

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Posted this before but neways

>be me
>be kinda wanting glock
>but like my 1911s too much
>be watching COPS
>to bread I go
DREAM TIME
>be drivin to my house
>brother riding shotgun
>pull up to "my house"
>be big southern style open and covered front porch with railings and banisters and the works
>Victorian era kinda style house in the middle of winter
>hmmmmmm....footprints up the 5 stair leading to front door
>step out of "my car" to sound of glass shattering
>look to my left and see Tyrone and his friend just stating the B part of B and E
>for some reason ask them, "WTF are you doing?"
>They don't like this and Terry starts his way towards the railings
>pull muh Les Baer and click
>don't recall if hammer dropped, but definitely no B00M
>make sure my thumb safety is off
>yup it's off
>Tyrone has now cleared the railings and bushes below
>start reracking slide to chamber another round
>ooooomph, as I'm mow being tackled by Tyreezey
>at some point I started yelling at my brother to grab the ar out of the truck
>Tierods friend has now also jumped into the tussle on the front lawn
>be getting stabbed by Ronies friend now still while yelling at my bro to grab the truck gun
>wake up

Next night very similar dream except 1911 worked but this time not enough capacity.

>be next couple weeks
>buy glock 17

I have had very similar dreams recently but I have not died in any of these style dreams yet. In my dream last night I killed 2 guys but weirdly enough used a 1911 which I haven't cc'd in well over a year.

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>>32826392

All of my yes.

>Be me
>Senior in high school
>Be in the big boy zone because they let me watch the house while they go celebrate anniversary
>Shits tight as fuck get to do what I want
>Entire week is great not a single problem
>Be last night alone going a little stir crazy only human contact with pizza guy
>2 am bout to get some sleep
>Dogs start going ape shit
>its happening, tyrone has come for me
>Grab my pocket knife and bat (no gun and didnt have my sword yet)
>Round corner about to bash the fuck out of a coon
>Tfw it is a literal coon on my front porch

I have dreams where I have to shoot people all the time, and my gun works every time, and the bad guys die every time. I'll greentext my latest.

>Be me, riding shotgun in a big mac truck for some reason
>On the road about a mile from my house, apparently headed home with whoever is driving
>Suddenly two guys are standing in the middle of the road, the driver slows down
>As we get closer I realize I recognize of the guys (not IRL, just in my dream)
>Driver comes to full stop, guys are both right outside my door
>Open the door with my hand behind my back gripping my ccw, but hidden so they can't see it
>Realize they're trying to car-jack us, and they both have big butcher knives
>Draw my Glock 26, put two rounds into center mass of the guy I don't know
>The guy I do know drops his knife and goes and sits down on the opposite side of the road
>Get a sick feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach, I just killed a man
>Wake up in a cold sweat
>Can't go back to sleep for at least a couple hours

>wake up in the morning
>go over to my PSA cardboard box and grab my AR (I don't have a case yet for my AR)
>it's an M16A1 with some weird space age optic on it. Looks like a half circle shape with some lights and markings on it.
>look through it allows me to see through walls can see through walls
>tell my friends that it's an M16A3 (it's not though)
>all of the sudden the room starts shifting and the walls are bending in all these strange ways
>can walk through walls and transcend matter itself
>find myself on mars in a lawn chair still holding my spessed out M16
>the Earth just fucking explodes into two even pieces that float away

Pretty cool dream. I dream about guns literally ever night.

>>32827106
you're going to maybe rape peanut butter sandwiches??