>wake up in Alaska >see this What do?

>>32710501
Greet them with spruce tree and point to where the town nigger lives?

>>32710501
Bury myself in snow and wait until I can't take the cold anymore

Wonder how they got there to begin with. Immediately followed by death blossoms to protect my Alaskan amber.

>>32710501
Ask them if that's a famas obviously.

Those are actually just lost Canadians.

I'd laugh at their 5 round pinned magazines.

>>32710501
Be displeased about my current situation and wish I were back at home.

>>32710501
Wonder how slant mexicans survived the cold.

tell them to go back before they get buttfucked by abobo the disemboweller

>>32710501
>see chinky outside
>"CHINKY CHINKY SINKY FINKY DO YOU SEE ME DO DA FREEZY"
>slavsquat to them
>"WELL DO YOU!??!!?"
>chinks confused as fuck
>"CHING CHONG PING PONG PANG HOW YOU TAKE ORDAR"
>wonder who is phone
>get dubs

>>32710501
shoot gooks
it'd be easier than shooting snow gooks

>>32710518
Here here to that.

>>32710501
probably freeze to death

>>32710537

How long is it possible to stay buried in snow with thick, well insulated clothing on?

File: 1484360431563.jpg (16KB, 480x300px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 480x300px

>>32710792

File: The Most Dangerous Man.jpg (120KB, 500x719px) Image search: [Google]

120KB, 500x719px

Use Finnish Shamanism to put the soul of pic related in me.

File: 1484749147249.jpg (68KB, 640x523px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 640x523px

Use the power of memes to check these digits

Mind my own damn business.

File: DSCN2276.jpg (2MB, 3264x2448px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 3264x2448px

>What do?
Shoot them then head over to Fred Meyer and get some lunch, probably head back home and work on my garage.

Aqquire the power of quints and automatically smite them with upon seeing the quints of 9s

Side effects include - global warming

>>32710974
Beautiful

>>32710501
go the fuck back to sleep. what are they gonna do, steal are reality tv shows? why the fuck would they go all the way to alaska?

>>32710925
Checked and you failed, kek is disappointed in you faggot.

>>32710501
Wonder why they're so inadequately dressed.

>>32710792
As long as you can hold your breath :^)

>>32711058
we'll blast those saps clean off the map

>>32711084
slap the crap out of those chaps

File: tR1cbB9.jpg (37KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 640x480px

>find small pine sapling
>tear from ground
>run screaming into town "THE INFANT TREE ARE COMING"

>>32711101
entrap them zaps with a cold snap, asap

>>32711143
If they look like Sulu slash them with your Ulu.

>>32711164
if those eyes are slants better bring the bantz

>>32711176
if they eat dogs send in the SOG

>>32711188
if they're good at math bring down the wrath

>>32711201
if he's yellow, waste that fellow

File: 1310408064982.jpg (10KB, 441x408px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 441x408px

>>32710676

Everyone in my town owns at least a hunting rifle, we'd put up a fight at least

>>32710501

>Implying those slopes could drive their boats across 8 lanes of sea traffic with the blinker off and not capsize before they got to the Allutians.

File: tumblr_nvfinnu9YV1tq4of6o1_500.gif (988KB, 500x250px) Image search: [Google]

988KB, 500x250px

>>32710974
>thumb over bore

>>32710501
"Thank God! Now I have a use for the 650 round 7.62x39 spamcan that I got before the elections!"
Probably go inna woods for a month while occasionally doing hit and run attacks

>>32710501
is that a FAMHAS?

File: liberty prime.jpg (83KB, 500x313px) Image search: [Google]

83KB, 500x313px

>>32710501

>>32710537
It was -50f here in Fairbanks yesterday

>>32712104
FamASS

>>32710501
Why don't they get all white coveralls?

>>32710501

Chinese knows one ting, Chinese know two ting...

>>32710925
may kek smite you with an eternity of singles

File: Walker_Bulldog.jpg (88KB, 790x500px) Image search: [Google]

88KB, 790x500px

>>32710501

Tell them to say hello to the only tank in Alaska.

Freeze to death probably

File: 1481952484780.jpg (418KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

418KB, 1920x1080px

>>32710501
implying they would get past the hordes of mouthwash drinking indians doing hit and runs on them with .303s off the back of arctic cats.

>>32710501
Book a flight back home

File: cf277eca5bc9b072fcf5f635a09653af.jpg (43KB, 600x423px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 600x423px

>>32710995

File: sarah-palin-gun-1.jpg (61KB, 400x545px) Image search: [Google]

61KB, 400x545px

>boner begins to harden
>I know what I must do
>what I've always trained to do
>I step onto my porch and look at Russia momentarily, then with an elk antler carved into a horn I summon the goddess protector of Alaska
>blessed Sarah Palin descends from the heavens with a righteous flame of 5.56 and 320 rounds
>the communists that survive are overwhelmed by her glory, convert to capitalism, and move to Los Angeles to become rooftop Koreans
>with a smile and "gosh darnit" our goddess returns to her palace in the sky

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qu51vkm0SuQ

invasion of alaska, 1942 (colorized)

File: canadian man.jpg (60KB, 420x400px) Image search: [Google]

60KB, 420x400px

>>32710548
Exactly.

>>32713371
H-Hot!

>>32711211
Twas yellow skin and slanted eyes that did betray us with their lies.

>>32710501
As a patriot you'll fight back as smartly and for as long as you can to allow the women, children, and elderly to evacuate. Sacrificing yourself for the good of the many may be required. Burn everything behind you as you retreat. Of course you had a GOB ready at all times and have caches placed at regular intervals to allow an orderly retreat and resupply for survival necessities for at least 6 months, maybe more. Maybe read Tom Clancy's "Red Storm Rising" for ideas/inspiration.

Alternatively, stick around and report from behind the lines when the opportunity arises. Be an American version of Simo Häyhä. Hopefully your neighbours/friends/coworkers won't report you for your rebel cause and patriotism. Invading armies have a history of being hungry and civilians will likely sell their sister in order to be alone with a loaf of Wonderbread for 30 minutes. A starving neighbour you once told to fuck off might have a long memory.

Realistically though you'll be like the rest of the population. Cower in your home hoping for the best, maybe they won't bother you if you look like you fit in, maybe try to get snippets of news on what's going on. They'll seize gun records and come knocking on your door (prob do door-door searches anyways) at gun point with help from your local law enforcement who will sell you out in order to preserve their own and their families lives. If you give them any lip or refuse to comply, bang! shot on your doorstep. It might be a good idea to have a Chinese flag on your flagpole or wall somewhere. Better learn some rudimentary Chinese (Cantonese maybe).

>>32713635
You've never been to Alaska have you?

>>32713012
A shit ton of strikers though.

File: bear.jpg (104KB, 500x415px) Image search: [Google]

104KB, 500x415px

Trebuchet a garbage dumpster on them after I wake up some bears with an amphetamine and bath salts enema.

>>32710974
Just like my childhood

>>32713789
Kek

>>32713372
The greatest of the fenslerfilms (imho)

File: 1472502646931.jpg (2MB, 3264x2448px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 3264x2448px

>>32710676
MFW

>>32713635
>Maybe read Tom Clancy
because i love reading about excruciating minutia

>>32712723
Yup. Do this.

>>32713619
If they eat cat, hit em with the gat

>>32713654
>You've never been to Alaska have you?
He spelled neighbors this way "neighbours". I don't even think he's been to the USA.

>>32710501
Offer then coffee with a lot of artificial sweetener.

I'd assume they'd get diabetes

File: 1311266215427.jpg (32KB, 450x248px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 450x248px

>>32710501
>drive drunk, lost vehicle
>shiver until it gives away my position
>give the guards the sarty surplise in POW camp
>be tortured into well-seasoned lo mein
>yfw this actually happened
>yfw i am john mccain

>>32712017
probably because he's holding the gun with one hand so he can take the picture moron.

File: 14522980_1153988211334040_5412349035744160674_n.jpg (54KB, 960x540px) Image search: [Google]

54KB, 960x540px

>>32710501
Hmmmmm
What is the fighting force of the Alaskan NG?
>1850 soldiers and 77 armories
Including
>The 49th Missile Defense Battalion
>297th Battlefield Surveillance Brigade
As well as the
>Alaska Naval Militia
>Alaska State Defense Force
Alaskan Police forces:
>Alaska State Troopers
>>1,300 full-time sworn law enforcement officers
>Anchorage Police Department
>>500 officers
>>over 300 Alaska troopers and smaller municipal agencies
>Alaska Department of Corrections
>Alaska Department of Public Safety

So NG and Police are probably about or over 5,000.

But what about civilians?
>about 58 percent of Alaskans own guns
>there are 736,732 people in Alaska
>736,732 x .58 = 427,304

427,304 + 5,000 = 432,304
Let's round that down to an even 420,000 Armed Alaskans.
420,000 armed Alaskans who love the winter and know the land.
Even if that's not enough to beat an invading force, which it is, it's enough to hold them off until the full force of the world's largest armed force arrives.

>>32718686
We also have major military bases, like eilson and jber.

File: Medicine_Stick.png (1005KB, 2950x750px) Image search: [Google]

1005KB, 2950x750px

Grab medicine stick
Remove ghosts

File: Veers.jpg (10KB, 223x328px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 223x328px

A snow battle, you say?

>>32718905
True. There's also the supply lines that are already established that an invading army won't have.

File: 6ndFHp9.jpg (25KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 500x500px

>wake up
>see chingchongs invading
>wonder what the fuck they are doing in fucking Fairbanks
>they must be here for our precious Hoodoo
>this will not stand
>don my ushanka and equip FAL
>pop pop pop pop watching motherfuckers drop
>suddenly hear trumpet
>hundreds of slednecks come roaring over the hills on snowmachines
>slednecks open fire with an assortment of hunting rifles
>ching chongs BTFO
>celebrate by going to Hoodoo
>mfw

File: honest_hearts.webm (3MB, 844x474px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 844x474px

>>32718947

>not enlightening ChiComs with blessed .45

OT : Wonder what the hell I'm doing in Alaska.

>>32712835
It is literally 75 here in south Louisiana. I can barely sleep in this heat

>>32712835

hello fellow Fairbanks anon

>>32710501
Scratch my head and ask myself why Canada is attacking.

>>32722378
>everyone's confused as to why Canada's attacking, and scratches their heads
>with nobody attacking them, the Canadian's capture the entirety of America without taking a single casualty

>>32722416
>Afterwards they give everything back while apologizing to every American individually.
>Including house pets and farm animals.

>>32710501
I'ma just add in what I want here because your exact scenario means fuckall.

>acquire 40 gas-powered RC cars
>and 40 remote det blasting cap type thingadooders
>and 200 pounds of tannerite
>mix tannerite in 5 pound batches with a bunch of ball bearings
>send rc car after rc car into waves of refrigerated chinamen
>become the patron saint of UGVs
>start new wave of explosive rc cars in vidya games
>get civilian medal of honor thing from President Trump
>autograph an unholy shit ton of remote control cars

>>32712835
>>32722373
Oh look, the entire town of Fairbanks is in this thread.

>>32710501
Obviously see a medic, because there's no reason I should have fallen out of training

File: IMG_3262.jpg (118KB, 736x1025px) Image search: [Google]

118KB, 736x1025px

>>32712723

File: DEMOCRACY IS NON-NEGOTIABLE.png (39KB, 2000x1053px) Image search: [Google]

39KB, 2000x1053px

>>32710501
Annex Canada

>>32713371
>chinamen
>rooftop kreans
hoho

File: exoskeleton_by_csp499-d4p86g5.jpg (60KB, 883x904px) Image search: [Google]

60KB, 883x904px

>>32710501
>When you show up with REAL T-45.

>>32710792
Until you die

>>32710600
who is abobo?

File: image.gif (2KB, 319x220px) Image search: [Google]

2KB, 319x220px

Dazzle them with touristy Alaska shit and sled dogs. Asians love that and pay way more than it's worth

File: image.jpg (565KB, 1600x1200px) Image search: [Google]

565KB, 1600x1200px

>>32718686
>58%

Lolno

>What do?
Seeing as I'm an Australian, have just gone from Australian summer to Alaskan winter, and am only in my underwear, I'd promptly freeze to death.

File: WRD_Second_Korean_War_Total_Victory_2.png (1MB, 1366x768px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1366x768px

>>32710501
Wait out.

>>32710501
>>32722590
>>32722840
Hide and come out after battle to loot, scavenge fusion cells.

File: 20160607_212648-1280x943.jpg (209KB, 1280x943px) Image search: [Google]

209KB, 1280x943px

>>32718686
>about 58 percent of Alaskans own guns
you don't know shit.

>>32722320
apparently after you get burned alive you can slingshot the slide of an unloaded mag 1911

Blast this as loud as possible:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKb_pMZyr5o
Then go to work with fuddmaster 9001 and AK.

I dream of having multiple sets of legit ballistically rated star wars armor including snow trooper armor that will also keep me warm as fuck in the cold.

>>32718991
kek

>>32710501
why would the chinese be there? would russians really allow that. I bet russians are more likely to be there

also I hear Alaska has the most vets in all of usa so it would be intresting how it turns out.

Old vets all claming togther to put up a resistance whille usa tries to reach them

would make a great film

pls don't steal my idea for a film

>>32723827

>i own a lot of guns therefore more people in alaska own guns

File: 1475175932445.png (450KB, 678x898px) Image search: [Google]

450KB, 678x898px

>>32724670
There is not a single native Alaskan that doesn't own atleast one gun

>>32710501
Spit in their direction and call them chink cunts till they retaliate
Then laugh from heaven/hell as China is torn apart by atomic fire

>>32711999
Hey, they pulled it off once with a shitty plane.

>>32715718
If they're gooks, drop the nukes

>>32723586
>>32723827
Correct. I don't know shit.
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=how+many+people+in+Alaska+own+guns
>>32724677
So you think it's higher?

>>32713174
for some reason, I find this image especially beautiful

>>32723827
what's the blued revolver?

>>32710501
are those ching chongs?

>>32723864
Just hold the slide release down

>>32710829
Is that a bipod on that guys rifle? Guess Battlefield 1 was authentic after all

>>32724821
If it's the Chinks, time to bring out the Krinks

>>32725419
If they're yellow, turn their bones into jello

>>32710501
I'd wonder why the hell it's so bright outside.

>>32725753
If they're zipperheads, turn em into shreds

>>32728442
Spot some slopes? Put 'em on the ropes.

>>32728474
Do I spy me a chink? Toss 'em in the drink!

>>32728528
Is there a chigger? Just pull the trigger.

>>32710792
ask the Eskimos. that's literally how they made their houses.

>>32722560
well it's not like they plan to go outside.

>>32712835
yea but under the snow its 32 degrees.

>>32710501

does anyone have that webm of those million chinese soldiers charging up a hill?

its from a korean movie i think

File: 3861283+_96ac38b27cd57b132ed51a162cd3a208.jpg (440KB, 1000x800px) Image search: [Google]

440KB, 1000x800px

It would be a short fight.

>>32710501
WOLVERIIIIIIIIINES