HOME INVASION TEST

guns are for niggers

i draw my sword and dispatch all foes with a single speed

overal time .5 seconds

sorry kid

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>>32668936
not long

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Results:
http://www.strawpoll.me/12125259
http://www.strawpoll.me/12125259
http://www.strawpoll.me/12125259

>>32668936

3 seconds or so are the nearest firearms

Rossi .44 mag lever gun with a full tube or the 870 with a full tube

>>32668936
Less than two seconds

>>32668936
Shotgun under bed, cc arms length away on dresser, AK in corner, 45-70 lever gun in pack across room

Two seconds pistol, five seconds rifle, assuming the time stops at charged and aimed.

>>32668936

>TFW in college and it would take 2.5 hours :(

>>32669107
Stay poor

>>32669244
>"charged"
>not keeping a loaded gun near you
It's like you want to be raped by feral niggers

>>32668936
>boom boom crash
I drop my gun and start going into We Will Rock You. Invader gets into the groove, at which point I pick up my bat and club him.

>>32669252
Ok, I will.

>>32668936
Snuggling my AR as I type.

>>32669245
You gon die

>>32668936

If I'm awake and I am not in the shower, that means I'm conceal carrying. So all I got to do is just draw and I'm good to ago.

If I am asleep when this happens. Got my conceal on the night stand about 2 feet from me. My ar sitting next to that too.

I think I'll be fine.

>>32669274

It's okay, anon. I like your collection.

>>32669245
nigga just buy a locking hand gun safe and keep your fucking mouth shut.

>>32669252
how does it feel up there on your high horse anon?

Bet your trophy husband just loves fucking you while your exwife's son call some other man daddy.

No matter what, just remember your better than >>32669274 becasue you dont like his taste in weapons.

Also post yours faggot.

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>>32669316
>not cc'ing asleep in your skippies

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>>32668936
4 seconds easy
was just about to clean em, CC is loaded and +1'd in the black rifle bag
>Even got my rape scented candle out

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Takes me ~4 seconds to grab my PPK/s. Probably an extra 1-2 to grab my SxS 12 gauge across the room.

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>>32668936

Had to decide amongst the .357 mag, the 9mm, the 12ga. or the .45, but about 1-2 seconds

its on my hip.. soooo not very long

>>32669252
>calls anon with an arsenal value of over $2k a poor fag

>Doesn't show his own.

Okay

>>32668936
>current year
>not having a desk gun

Don't do this

>>32669107
I'm not a slavshit kind of guy but that collection is enough to make me almost regret my NATO oriented decisions.

I live with my mother who doesn't know I own guns and is also very anti-gun. If anyone breaks in I am not going to lift a fat finger or get off my fat ass. I will lock my bedroom door and tell her to deal with it like last time.

>>32668936
5 seconds to open my desk drawer and rack my lcp from right here

Timed at 3 seconds, but only a 5 shot revolver.
Would take much longer to go get the rifle.

>>32668936
i keep a commander 1911 in my desk drawer so two seconds

>>32668936
Pistol right next to keyboard, condition 3.

Carbine leaning against wall 2 steps away, condition 4. Mag is on desk in arm's reach.

I'm fine.

>>32669107
Oh my fucking god my erection is painful

I don't keep mine loaded, but there is a knife on just about every table in the house. It would get really messy if someone broke in.

>>32674131
Yeah, and the mess would be your guts and brains all over the floor if the burglar has a gun

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>>32669245
>mfw live off campus
wtf are you doing faggot or if your guns are at home bring them

Well luckily I'm sitting at my computer desk. To my left I have a Glock 22 in my drawer at arms length away. Then a little farther against my wall in a rifle case is my ar15 so I'd have some options in about one second.

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>>32669076
>its a shadow clone
>you see this out the corner of your eye

Nothin personnel, kid

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>>32669217

>>32668936

>move to the door
>grab keys off hook
>go into bedroom
>unlock cabinet
>take out gun
>load gun
too long, I'll grab the baseball bat by my desk and beat the shit out of the guy instead.

>>32668936
>Grab mossyman 500 by bed.
>Flip safety off.
>3 secs

gg no re crook

>>32674277
>>32669245
>TFW freshman
>FORCED to live on campus
> no funs
> why live

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>>32675891

maybe you need to find a different school, one that doesn't try to rob you by forcing you to pay for on-campus housing (and all that entails).

>>32668936
>>32669109
In 1 second I have a loaded Glock brand Glock 19 with a flashlight and a spare mag in my hand.

>>32669107
You must love rusty guns.

>>32668936
About twenty seconds right now. I actually admit to being ill-prepared.

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>>32675891
>FORCED
I go to UF and i've never heard of people getting forced to live on campus. I never lived on campus, UFPD allows you to keep your guns there if you like but fuck that. What schools is doing this, anon?

5 seconds to home run derby

20 seconds to .357 reason not to break into my house.

5 min to full WW3 mode

>>32669107
Fuck that's beautiful right there friendo

>>32668936
When I'm at home (as opposed to college) I keep my AR/SKS/Both with loaded mags, empty chamber.

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>>32668936
I carry in my house, sooo... If I'm in bed, I've got a .38 right next to me, shower, I have a Beretta PX4-Storm 45. Anywhere else, I've got either 9mm or 380 depending on what I can pull off with my clothing/time of year

>>32674537

Incidentally, they're my gunz I have ready for critter shooting. I have a long range varmint rifle next to them too, but that's not really adequate for defense inside.

Not that someone could kick my doors down in the first place. Aluminum shutters that lock in front of solid wood doors with 3 locks needs more than a human and several seconds of kicking.

>>32676073
WM

>>32669076
>Remove my mounted musket from its place over my mantle
>Slide my Royal Hussars Gramophone record into place
>Dawn powdered wig and petticoat

TALLY HO!

>>32673856
>like last time
Story?

>>32675891
>tfw not going to community college for 2 years in order to avoid that
Goddamn rich kids.

>>32668936
> M&P45 on desk in front of me
> gp100 on desk to my right
>308 AR and mag on kitchen table 10ft away because I forgot to put it away after cleaning

I think I'll be ok

>>32676535
I second this

>>32668936
20 seconds

less then 5 seconds for 22. about 8 seconds for shotgun

>>32676705
unfortunately i will also be deaf because its a Yugo Mauser

>>32676652
How do you like the M&P 45? I've been kicking around the idea of picking one up.

>>32668936
Took me 19 seconds. Am I dead?

>>32676839
trigger is a pain in the ass otherwise I like it, feels good, cheap mags, easy to control, havent had any feed issues with it. I didnt pony up for the glow in the dark sights used my 7 year olds glow in the dark nail polish instead

get the apex full trigger kit and youre golden

>>32668936
Up until a minute ago I would have said a couple of seconds. Thanks to this thread I discovered the batteries in my guns age were dead and I had to dig around for the keys. Awkward.

>>32677081
>/k/ saves a /k/ommandos life

high five everyone

>>32669076
bbillyk here

>>32677081
You're welcome

>>32668936
Bump

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>>32669076
>be me
>sitting in front of my fireplace, smoking jacket on, reading stoic philosophy
>dog at my feet basking in the warmth of fireplace
>suddenly an urban kicks my door down, whooping and hollering
>drop my pipe and reach for the only weapon in reach
>muzzleloader great grea great peepaw carried when he was manifesting his destiny
>little does the melanin rich fellow know, I keep it loaded at all time
>powder on the pan, muzzle is loaded with a 450 grain charge
>packed it down with ball bearings, nails, rocksalt, bolts I found under my computer and legos
>cock the lever and aim it at the dissaffected youths general directio
>bellow out "EE-YAH-YIP" as I pull the trigger
>spend the next couple days doing dry wall one handed, hearing lost 100% in one ear and 85% in the other
>house successfully defend

I only use patrician weapons

>>32668936
~5 seconds from comprehending question to ready to shoot.

>>32678331
>when he was manifesting his destiny
made me laugh more than it should have

>>32677081
>batteries
>guns
>age
>dead
>keys
Nigger, what the fuck are you talking about?

>>32678331
>tfw this is near the exact story my uncle told me of a call he had back in the 80s as a paramedic
except the part where the bugler is so started he pauses long enough for the dog to rip out his throat. To this day he said that was the most blood he's ever seen in a response. Managed to stitch up the guy's hand and his dog lived for another year before passing of old age.

>>32678981
guns age = gun safe I assume

Meaning he has an electronic lock on his safe, went to go get his gun, realized the keypad's batteries were dead and had to get his keys to manually unlock it.

Basically he is fucked.

>>32678981
I'm saying I bought a gun safe with an electronic lock years ago, the batteries corroded to the point that the keypad didn't work and needed to be changed, I had to find the key to open the safe so I could change them, I was a little drunk when I typed that and autocorrect is a bitch.

>>32668936
>tfw i live on campus
I-I have a pocketknife, and a ceramic cup

>>32668936
45 Pistola in 1 sec ( if in bed)

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>>32679022
as long as you don't have a bike wheel

>>32669107
>"I Can't decide what to kill you with!"

>>32679039
>tfw i could get kicked out of the dorms for having the pocketknife

>>32668936
>maverick 88 next to my bed three seconds to chamber a slug and fire

>fal next to my desk, about five seconds to chamber and fire
>longer if I don't have my shorts on already

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>>32679022
Y'know, my brother has the same problem. We're working on a solution, since he has access to 3d printers at his campus.

>TFW an active shooter event gets stopped by two chuckle fucks and a potato launcher that shoots plastic balls of fuck you

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>>32669270
>please be with pic related

>>32679022
>>32679039
>>32679056
Here in MD, not only do we have the strictest carry laws in the country, but it's also a felony to carry any bladed weapon on any school grounds.

Who needs guns? I've watched Home Alone dozens of times and already prepared my house.

if you actually kill someone with your defense weapon of choice, won't it just get thrown into evidence forever?

>>32668936
About 5-20 seconds. Usually keep one loaded across from the bed and in my office drawer, with one dry in the bedside since the gf is into gunplay.

>>32679082
Why would you need to put shorts on? You dont want to kill dindus with your dick swinging in the breeze?
I thought you were a patriot anon.

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>>32680078
Because Rhodies never die, Anon.

>>32668936
Right now? I have one on my hip. So less than a second.

If I'm asleep? Less than 5 seconds since I sleep with a gun next to my bed.

>>32675891
Fucking c.uck.

>>32676073
School my buddy goes to says anyone under 25 has to live on campus. Exceptions only for people who have been residents of the city for 5 years or more and people who are married/planning to get married.

He's from Nebraska and is splitting the bill with a mutual friend.

>>32679168
No. It'll be returned, assuming you are declared innocent. However it may not be in good condition. There's been quite a few stories about how guns were returned covered in rust, broken, or in some other way damaged.

>>32668936
irrelevant, i have a psychic doberman.

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>>32668936
Its literally right here.

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>>32681066
Post that doggo!

>>32668936
>grab wallet and ID
>run to garage
>hop on good old ten speed
>pedal to the nearest gun store
>buy cheapest surplus rifle they have
>buy 20 rounds of ammo
>wait for backround check to go through
>load gun and get on bike
>pedal home
>elapsed time, around an hour and a half

I'll admit, it's not great.