Meanwhile, on /k/ in 27 BC...

>>32640203
Only legionairres should have gladii. True Romans only need a strong scutum.

If you think you need a gladius at the forum, you're the lowest of plebeians and probably a smelly Iberian too.

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>>32640203
>gladiusfag
Good luck getting trying to tote that huge thing around while I comfortably carry my Pugio with ease.

>Be inna Legion
>Fighting Celts
>Celt iron bends after a few swings
>Filthy barbarians have to step on their swords in the middle of combat to straighten their terrible iron out
Why is Celtshit so popular?

>>32640203
>Gladius
>When pit fighting slaves get the first hit with a Spatha.

How come more slaves get freedom with a Spatha than a Gladius then? If the enemy is not killed fast or struck first with reach of the Spatha then Rome might as well get slaughtered by axe welding barbarians with such a short sword.
>Muh thrusting
More like your turtle poking it's neck out to get chopped.

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>>32640203
>tfw filthy new ones are fighting with us
>tfw rome isn't strong anymore
>tfw new ones even have disgusting blonde hair and blue eyes
>always talk about how they build their shitty funeral hills
>filthy germans
>I hate them
>always have filthy beards and never wash themselves
>they probably never heard of a good bath in the thermea baths
>probably never had a good massage from a houseslave while being rubbed down in olive oil
>they call it gay
>they say they won't replace us
>they say they are our friends
>womans always talk about how they like the germans more
>always see these 'whited' graffiti when I'm in the city visiting old friends
>sister of friend is fucking a german
>disgusting
>tfw they talk about rome never falling
>tfw I know it will

>>32640203
>It is simple, easy to use, and reliable.

IV V

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>>32642158

On road building duty AGAIN!

>all these plebians arguing which sword is better
>does not realise its the pilum which does all the damage

>>32643213
> muh pyramidal tip
> muh stopping power
surely you understand the pilum is a one-and-done deal, good for maybe breaking up a half-hearted charge by naked barbarians and not much else
the real work happens up close and personal, scutum against scutum

>>32640203
WE WUZ ROMANS N SHIEEET

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Falcata masterrace coming though.

Your mass-produced romeshit cannot compete.

>>32643246
>implying the filthy barbarian hide covered planks could even be called proper scutum

>>32643290
eh. they're a sort of a compromise between the aspis and the scutum. some say they're crude, but they're lightweight and some Germanic tribals I saw in Gallia even had umbos on theirs. don't ask me how they could afford the iron... fucking "trade policy reforms", I'd wager

Fuck those roman scums, never need anything more than my axe.

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>>32640203

>>32643404
if I see one more filthy weekend warrior wearing his lorica sleeves the wrong way around I swear to fucking Mars imma show him exactly why it's a bad idea. and not with the flat of my blade either

Hey guys, I have an idea for a device that uses steam to perform work, it could totally replace all the slaves we use.

>>32643418
With your dick?

>>32643419
and who is going to build all these magical devices? filthy Greeks and their big ideas, I swear. If you're so smart how come we conquered the fuck out of your sorry asses?

>>32643428
JUST YOU WAIT AND SEE YOU FILTHY ROMAN! I HAVE IDEAS FOR DEVICES MADE OF METAL THAT USE MAGIC POWDER FROM THE ORIENT TO LAUNCH METAL BALLS. ILL SHOW YOU!

>>32643425
I would not dare to try. I'm afraid he'd enjoy it.

>>32643443
Jesus your Roman degenerates will be the death of the Empire.

>>32643436
yeah yeah. what next? fire that burns underwater? go fuck your moustachioed wife, maybe that'll bring you back down to Earth. oh wait, you're a filthy catamite

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>>32643452
a hole's a hole. it's only unmanly if you're the one taking it up the ass.

>>32643467
You'll see you Roman degenerate, I am right now working on a device that uses my steam device for motion, it will have armor and rock throwers on it. You are dead.

>>32643482
call me back when you've managed to unfuck your infantry tactics. catapults win sieges, spathae win wars.

>>32643489
You will be the one who's tactics get fucked when our infantry has handheld metal ball throwers senpai.

>>32643497
> claims he will revolutionize infantry tactics
> actually reinvents peltasts
Greek "innovatio", equites.

>>32643506
I will put a sword on the end, best of both worlds you Roman dog.

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>>32643521
you will end up with our "swords" hilt deep up your asses if you try to start shit
> pic unrelated, an actually useful ranged weapon

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>>32640203
Fucking swarthy short statured men from the south, when will they learn? +VLFBERHT+ is a superior sverd in every way.

>>32643552
> Year of the Consulship of Lepidus and Plancus
> a better sword than the gladius hispaniensis
you have to pick one

>>32643541
>implying you will get within range with your puny gladius.

>>32643580
> archers keep your shitty peltasts suppressed
> ballistae make furrows through your ranks
> maniples leap-frog each other, keeping their scutums up to protect against bullshit stones and lead balls
> hail of pilae at 30 paces
> another hail of pilae at 15 paces, because fuck you
> spread out to two arm's lengths and close to contact
> gut dumbass Greeks like so many fishes while they stab ineffectually at you with their pointy sticks
is there a better way to spend an afternoon, I ask you?

>>32643642
It will work you filthy roman, your wife is copulating with Persian while we argue.
>inb4 you are copulating with my wife

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>>32640260
underrated

>>32643656
> copulating with Greek "beauties"
not even if drunk on Greek wine, i'd much rather a goat, at least they're SUPPOSED to have all that hair

>>32643661
By Mars she causes a stirring in my loins.

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Greetings my fellow roman citizens, I am Pierrix from Burdigala, Gaul. I have been invited by our Emperor to seat in the Senate and I can say I'm very excited. Feels good to be Roman.

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>>32640203

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>>32640203
Cesar did nothing wrong.

Hey, guys. Are the Israelites really our greatest allies? This hairy hunchback guy who rubs his hands a lot keeps telling me this.

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>he fell for the rectangular scutum meme
>he fell for the "hastas are out of fashion" meme
>he fell for the Lorica Laminata meme
>he fell for the "any helmet but Apullo-Corinthian" meme

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>>32647071

they better.

>>32643419
Don't have real work to do, slave?

>>32642092
Worry not anon we're going to build a wall to keep all the celts out and make Rome great again!

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>>32640203
Lycia here, I prefer my kopis. It's got stopping powah

At last Cleopatra the whore of the Nile is gone, and Egypt is ours. There are no more lands to conquer.

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>>32640246