Things guns say to convince you to buy them.

squeeze me tightly, big boy

>>32586445
"Hey I'm a talking gun."

I'd buy that shit.

>>32586445
>I'm only going to appreciate in value
>Onii-chan, d-don't you like me?
>I'm not THAT expensive, plus if you buy me later it'll only be more money, it's not like your dollar is going to go up.
>Look at it this way, if there's a big catastrophe, I could save your life!
>You could definitely use me for home defense.
>You could definitely use me for defending the neighborhood.
>You need to get me now because you'll have too much trouble choosing between the previous half-dozen for whatever situation.
>You don't even have that many guns, what are you, a pleb?

>>32586445
Lets go shoot some Abbos

>PING!

>>32586466
Same

>>32586445
>I've killed a man before
>This machine kills communists
>FUCKING VIETNAMESE SHITS

>>32586445
>look at gun
>can faintly hear It Aint Me starting to play
Done deal.

>>32586445
>you see ivan, when becoming gun, you are not of having to worry about losing gun

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>>32586445
>I solve problems

>BANG

>>32586516
Part two!

>Use me for all that ammo you saved up.
>I'll be fun at the range. Just hold me and shove things in me, I'll get all hot and loud~
>I know you can't wait to strip me and stick your fingers inside...
>Get me, you don't even have my caliber.
>X girl in X anime/manga/video game used me. You need me now.

>>32586445
Hey there big guy, more thrust per squeeze

>>32586604
>>X girl in X anime/manga/video game used me. You need me now.
there's a vp70 that says this to me every time i pass it at the lgs

>>32586516
>>32586604
Haha thanks Lori.

>>32586618
>Be me
>See Kriss Krad at gun shop
>Flashbacks begin
>She saves my ass from an Civil Protection officer who didn't appreciate me throwing a can at his head.
>She takes me back to her place, meet her old man (my boss) and her DOG (good boy)
>I almost saw her die only to come back to life
>I don't know what happens next
>Suddenly get visions of a pizza faced neckbeard counting 1,2 over and over again
>Spaghetti all over my shirt

"I'm your problem solver"

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>I feel good in your mouth

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>>32586445
>Just between you and me, that 92f has been talking a lot of shit since you got here...

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>Is shipping individual parts worth it
>it usually is and beats out every premade

If i built it. Is good

>>32586466
Would you though? A gun that talks crap about your shooting it butch about how you clean it would get annoying really fast.

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>>32586611
>calls me a big guy
I'd buy that for a dollar

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>>32586730

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>I-I might fit double stack...

>>32586445
>BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT

>>32586445
Look at my l low bore axis baby. Wanna change out my backstraps?.

15+1 45ACP in FDE and a threaded barrel. Squish me big boy

it's pretty clear that all of us would fail to attract a man, if we were heterosexual females.

well, actually, we all just fail to attract men in general.

>>32589792
I'll be attracted to you

>>32586445
GAME CHANGER

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>>32586574
thanks for that chuckle, man

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>>32586445
>You've used me in counter strike forever
>I'm a big gun... For you
>Will drop panties at the range when you pull me out

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>>32586445
>check out this smooth action!

>>32586555
trips confirms what I want my gun to say