Saturday Night Innawoods Story Thread

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I spent a few years in Appalachia and I spent most of my free time out in the mountains in the woods. Most of the people there are the most honest and hardworking folks I have ever met,
true 'Salt of the Earth' types.A small minority are absolute scum. It was the latter that I mostly tangled with while innawoods. I am a sneaky guy but I had a few close encounters while helping landowners or just exploring; I have removed squatters, been stalked by moonshiners, and jumped out of a meth lab window.
>I hung around a local gun shop because the guy who worked the counter was a genius ballistician.
>Most of the regulars were older guys who had retired from good union jobs with the railroad or power company or whatnot, and had a good bit of surplus money.
>A lot of them had inherited their deceased family's land but were too old to properly utilize it. Taxes were cheap, so it was just left abandoned.
>Empty land in those part of the country attracts undesirables like bugs on a bumper, and they would complain about poachers, dopers, moonshiners, and all other ,miscreants
>One day, a regular comes in to buy a "carry gun", he had taken over his dead brother's land and found some squatters on it.
>One of them pointed a long gun at him when he told them to pack their shit and get.
>He decides on a nice old Ruger in .44 Mag I had been eyeing
>I volunteer to help him get rid of the squatters since local law enforcement is pretty much non existent
>He says they are down on the river bank, so I park my truck a couple miles upriver on the opposite side and start working down river.
>After an hour or so I see it, a piece of shit camper on blocks with some ramshackle outbuildings surrounding it.
>I unfold my burlap hide, take out the Bushnell bird watching binocs my Nana gave me when I was 10, sit down, break out my carrots, and wait.

>>32573637
>I take notes in my write in the rain 'One man, one woman prob couple, one p/u, no dogs.' 'Genny power' 'Man tours outbuildings couple hrs.' 'Pump action shotgun' 'Both in p/u trk at 2pm, leave' 'both return 5:30'
> Then next day the schedule is the same, so I leave my hide and cross the river to poke around
>They are growing hydroponic dope in the shacks, no traps around.They are living off of canned ravioli and a Coleman stove, shitting in a hole.
>I figure I wait a week, then we come up while they are out and trash the place, bust up their operation, and see if they run off.
>Take the old timer, his truck, my truck, and one of my buddies as a third, the .44 revolver, and my 10/22 goes to my buddy who climbs a hill as lookout.
>I get an idea.
>I take one of my towropes, hook it to my front tow hook, the other end smashes through the window of the camper and out of the window of the other side, loops back to my tow hook
>Mirror the process on the other end with old timer's truck and rope.
>On count of three we both reverse, camper is torn to shreds, debris is everywhere. Push the big chunks into the river with his brush-guard.
>Smash all the hydro equipment, throw that into the river.
Load the genny into the land owner's bed
>We agree to meet at his house tomorrow, I grab lookout and peel out. Blast some Steve Earle while I tear down the dirt trail high on adrenaline.
>Never heard from the squatters again, must have salvaged what was left and skipped town
After that I got a quiet reputation within that circle as a young man who could handle himself outdoors.
Some of the other guys asked me to look into their problems in the following months.

>>32573602
That December, one of the regulars approached me as I was leaving the shop and told me he heard about the job I did with the old timer, (who I now shot steel silhouettes with every weekend), and he had something similar.
>His nephew was a disabled guy who lived a couple towns down the road to the west.
>Nephew lived on his father's property since it was a ranch house, but couldn't really get around the land so it just sat unpatrolled.
>He had heard gunshots that fall, figured it was the usual asshole poachers, but the shots and late night ruckus had persisted past deer season
>He would go out and patrol in his truck once in a while and noticed his gate had been broken open and there were multiple tire tracks coming and going.
>They were headed down the old drive to an abandoned family farmhouse that was in a distant corner of the property up the mountain
>He wanted me to go make sure no one was squatting in his grandfather's farmhouse.
>Same deal, I parked the truck up by Nephew's house, got a compass heading to the old farmhouse and headed up the mountain on foot through the snow.
>When I hit the old drive, I followed parallel to it. Someone had cut their way in, lots of small trees down on the sides of the road, I wanted to keep my tracks out of sight.
>Got nearer to the farmhouse, I didn't believe I would find anything, but there were fresh wood chips on top of the snow, someone was cutting wood recently.
>I have a bad feeling and want to turn around, but I said I would look into it.
>I dismiss it as trespassing woodcuttters and pushed on to the house.
>Plastic sheeting in the blown out windows, oh fuck, someones is living here.
>Post up and watch for a while like usual, no movement, no smoke from the chimney, no vehicles, no dogs. God, how I hate dogs.
>Quiet for a while, decide to get closer: outbound tire tracks in the snow, not fresh.
>I really want to leave, but I gave my word;. I have to go inside and see this thing through.

>>32573686
Cont.
>I walk up half expecting to get shot from an upstairs window.
>I decide to turn around and leave as I hit where the front door used to be, I've seen enough. Go about 400 yards when I nut up. I gave my word.
>Peeling back the opaque plastic sheeting on the front door frame was just dreadful
>First floor is mostly open, quickly clear it. There is trash everywhere. A back room full of stovewood.
>One of the trash piles catches my eye: coleman propane tanks and American Eagle ammo boxes.
>55 grain .223 upon examination.
>This is fudd country, anyone with an AR means serious business. Besides, I knew what I had just walked into when I saw all the empty propane bottles.
>There was a PSA that ran a while back, 'Signs of a Meth Lab', I think I saw every one of them among those piles of garbage, and I still hadn't checked upstairs yet.
>Every step creaked
>My boots were so heavy
>I was really cold
>I was trying to focus on listening to hear if anyone was up there but I was focusing in on all these minor details instead

>>32573711
Cont Cont
>Top of the stairs: a room with a squalid sleeping ticks arrainged around a potbelly stove. It stank so strongly of cigarettes in a way I remember to this day
>Next room: a fucked up galley, pots, and trays, and propane burners, and coleman stoves, and that is the crunch of snow under AT tires coming down the drive I hear.
>I jumped down the stairs, don't think I touched a single one.
>Too late to run out of the front, they'll see me. Need to find a way out of the back.
>End up in firewood room, meant to run out of the kitchen. Too late, Truck has stopped out front.
>One door slams
>Second door slams
>The unmistakable growl of a junkie, 'Somebody's here!'
>Was that a rifle bolt being racked?? Why can't I hear anything over my heartbeat in my ears??
>Junkie two, 'Look, the tracks been here and gone, ain't nobody here now', the voice of reason of the duo, I thank you
>'Go an get a fire started, freezing my balls off, truck's heater sucks
>I think I might throw up. I had been quietly working at the plastic sheeting in the window frame trying to quietly undo it and slip out
>FUCK It! Jump roll out of the window assault pack first through the sheeting, slide down the hill behind the house gracelessly face first through the snow. It had to be loud
>Right myself and slide down into the ravine at the bottom of the hill. Follow the creek bed back to the road, loop around the mountain
>Stopped to watch my backtrack pretty often
>Arrive at nephew's house well after dark.
>He feeds me some hot stew and scolds me for putting myself in such a dangerous situation
>Police are called, they finally investigate a few days later, meth-heads have packed up shop in the meantime.

hurry up dammit

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>>32573884
That's it for the meth lab, police didn't do dick, never heard from meth heads again, knocked down the old house in the spring. It was a shame, it being the grandfather's house and all, but we wanted to keep the scumbags out so they had to.

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>>32573602
The following spring, I went out for a morning hike on some abandoned CSX property
>Walking along the tracks down this river valley
>Trying to spot a place to cross the river to get into the fair that summer. I ain't paying $10 and extra for beer but I want that bluegrass dammit
>Decide to just walk up the side of the mountain.
>It's steep as hell, but I just keep going straight up, and up, and up
>Decide to take a break, water and carrots
>Start back up the hill
>Take a couple steps and stop dead in my tracks
>There's this big ass bald fucker directly uphill from me about 75 yards away
>We just stand there looking at eachother, feels like forever
>He's standing next to this big oak tree on a level spot of the slope
>Someone else walks out from behind the oak and I turn right the fuck around, beat feet down the hill.
>I can hear them loosing rocks and logs above and behind me, oh fuck they're chasing me!
>Hit the river valley and I've put some distance between us.
>Decide to head upriver. I can hear them up on the slope, they are moving parallel to me about a quarter of the way up.
>Valley is to narrow to get farther away, so I push upriver, I kn ow the slope turns into a sheer cliff further up and they'll be cut off.
>Hit the cliffs and tuck into a overhang, try to wait and trick them into passing.
>Wait for what seems to be an eternity
>Start heading downriver, I just want to get back to the truck and go home

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>>32574074
Cont
>While I'm following the tracks downriver, a group of deer bolts past me, now I'm on high alert.
>I get a whiff of cigarette smoke. I abandon the path and slide into a ditch. I crawl inside of a fallen pine tree and wait.
>I hear voices, they draw nearer and nearer.
>Two figures, moving upriver. One has a long gun, the other is the big bald fucker in the Carhardt I saw earlier.
>From what I can see from inside my dead pine tree, they seem to be sweeping up the valley, having quit the hills looking for me
>One passes within 10 feet of me, after all the close calls I have had, that never gets old
>Wait until they've passed a good bit and then just book it the two miles to my truck, hoping they don't have any friends waiting for me down the valley.
>Thank god for shitty cell reception because I made it back to the truck and went home.
>When I inquired about the area in the shop later, I was told that some no good good ole boys had set up moonshining out that way and to avoid the area.
>Lotta good that did me
>TLDR, got hunted for the better part of an afternoon by moonshiners

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>Regular at the shop owned a potato farm
>Had a coven of junkies living in a trailer next property over
>Every night at 2 am, his dogs would go nuts
>He would hear someone running through his potato fields
>Even saw the fucker when the moon was right, ran back to the junkie trailer
>He calls the police, they don't do a god damn thing as per usual
>Next night, 2 am rolls around, he's ready
>Hears the running, walks out on the porch with pic related.
>Proceeds to mag dumps in the general vicinity of the noise, goes back inside, goes to bed
>Next morning, cops at the door. Ask if he shot at someone last nigh
>'Oh no, I have a crop damage permit to take varmints and there was this groundhog eating my spud plants and ALMOST got him last night
>Police tell him to have a nice day, leave
>No more late night junkie track and field escapades from then on.

>>32574338
More stories you're the only reason I'm awake

>>32575061
Second that

Looks like your keepin is all awake for a while. I'm sittin by the fire drinkin hot chocolate, entertained as hell

>>32573637
What state? I'm here in NC but not the mountains

>>32574338
Moar stories GODDAMNIT!

>>32573602
Thread Theme:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VDGb8hDDv8&list=PLRT7hHImZkWajkCLlciclWt0StY6gF-bI

>>32576341
Whoops, only the one song, here's the whole album:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ih2YKtBZ30Y

>>32575226
You better head for the hills there, friendo. What with that new faggot governor, feral blacks burning your cities, and Washingtards overrunning the state. Even Maryland and Vermont have republican governors for Christsakes.

>>32576348
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69SKhouCZcw&index=4&list=PLrKODqXafbzNfQU9XvWSIS7SK50GXefE2

>>32575226
I won't give out too many details, given me or one of my friends commits a crime in every story, but this takes place north of you.

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>>32573602
Another of the regulars comes in, he owns a little corner store in the next town up the road
>He had bought a S&W semi to protect his store with a couple of years earlier
>His store gets robbed by junkies at least once a month around this time, every store, bank, and gas station does there as well
>One night he is awoken in his house behind the store to his dog going apeshit, someone is in the store
>Grabs Smith, Wesson, and prepares to remove junkie
>Junkie hears him come through the backdoor, fires a couple of wild shots at the proprietor behind his back as he runs out of the front
>Proprietor returns fire, takes chase.
>Junkie is running through the streets of town blindly shooting his pistol behind him. Proprietor chasing him and shooting at his back
>Without realizing it, Proprietor finds himself on the bridge over the river with an empty magazine
>Junkie flees across the bridge to safety
>Proprietor realizes he has been shooting at a man in the next state over as soon as he crossed onto the bridge.
>His state may not care about such tomfoolery, but the next state over gets up on their high horse about protecting innocent criminals from dangerous vigilantes
>He throws the pistol over the falls, not worth the trouble
>In Appalachia, this basically amounts to an acquittal
>Around 16 shots fired, no injuries, police were never called, business as usual.

>>32576360
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NvBgDO-S_s&list=PLrKODqXafbzNfQU9XvWSIS7SK50GXefE2&index=5

>>32576428
We may or may not have have dug a few slugs out of a few brick walls the next night, amazingly, he didn't hit any cars or windows, or cause any property damage

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>>32573602
I was hunted by a band of feral ass children on quadbikes once
>Went up to an old mine with some nice gravel pits with my buddy to shoot two liters and such with his new shotgun
>Walking up, see a guy on a 4 wheeler acting weird, whatever the place is essentially a public park
>Start removing bottles
>The 4 wheeler guy comes flying up, asks if we are squirrel hunting or target shooting
>Tell him we're target shooting, he fucks off, and we get back to shotgunning
>A half hour later he comes back hollering about poaching, guess he wasn't satisfied with our answer. Fucks off again
>Couple minutes later I hear innumerable engines tearing our way from the direction he left in, might as well have been Wagner's Ride of the Valkyries
>This time we decide it is best to fuck off
>Head up to the rim of the gravel pit, watch them come in to our last known location
>One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six pissed off and heavily armed teenagers on quads between me and the way back to the truck
>It's going to be a late one, but I can get us past them.
>Take a compass bearing back to the truck, I always keep a compass handy for this exact reason
>Tell buddy we are going to have to move from thicket to thicket like deer
>The six road warriors have split up and are just flying around the trails like angry ants
>We wait for them to pass, then leapfrog across the trails into the brush, go to the other edge, take a compass bearing, pick a landmark, wait for them to repeat.
>It is slow going, we have to low crawl through the snow a lot, things will get quicker once we get out of the bare trees and into the pines across the frozen swamp
>Low winter sun is sinking down below the mountain to the west, but they give no indication of quitin on account of dark
>That's alright, their headlights give them away and the dark hides our tracks
>We have to cross the swamp now, then we will be home free

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>>32576532
>The swamp is wide open so we have to low crawl over the ice and through the hummocks
>Using compass to know where I'm going, this one glows in the dark, which is nice, doesn't keep us from falling through the Goddamn ice though, which happens often. I hate March.
>We can hear them still tearing it up back across the swamp, circulating through the trails. Hear a shotgun blast from over there, hope one of them has shot another one on accident.
>Buddy gets spooked, jumps up from next to me, and attempts to run through the rest of the swamp.
>I hear one of the war boys call out, fuck they spotted him.
>See a spotlight hit his back, no friend of mine is getting murder by some asshole kids
>I note the direction of my truck on the compass
>Jump up and run in a different direction from him, figure two targets are harder to hit
>Yell to buddy to run to the truck
>I am going to change my direction as soon as I break their sight-line
>Just have to make it up the embankment
>I can feel a gun on my back, anticipate the burn of the bullet, the crack of the shot
>It never comes, I hit the pine treeline and start heading south west at a jog
>Get to the truck, buddy isn't in sight.
>Give thee 'yee yee' and he rolls out of a bush, muddy, bloody, and exhausted, but unharmed
>Get in the truck and peel out, the embedded link from above is playing on the tape deck. Tell buddy to keep that 12 gauge ready, I fully expect them to chase my truck and having to play road warrior for real but I guess they didn't cross the swamp because the rest of the ride was uneventful.
>On the way home, chide buddy that the only reason he doesn't have an ass full of buckshot right now is that he ran into the setting sun, it's probably true though
>We don't shoot at that mine anymore, no clue what the fuck those guys were going on about, I guess 'The Lord of the Flies' was right, bored teenagers just fly into a collective homicidal rage sometimes

>>32576628
These are great OP. Don't care if they're real or made up, very entertaining either way.

I feel the need to post I've been enjoying these thoroughly, keep 'em coming!

Different guy here, my only innawoods oper8n was getting chased by shiners in NC when I was stationed there.
>be spring
>out innawoods hunting mushrooms on buddy's land
>hear a distant "Git on boy!" with no other context
>start looking around
>2 hills and probably 300 yards away is a bent-backed, grey bearded, emaciated old man. Shirtless and wearing jean shorts.
>CRACK
>holy shit he just shot at me
>CRACK whizzzzzzz
>holy shit hes a good shot too
>immediately 180 and sprint
>7-8 more bullets whiz by, by last one I can't even hear gunfire any more
>get to car, get in, pull phone
>have 9-1- types in when SPANG and I have a hole in the hood
>FUCK
>get car on
>SPANG
>get car in gear
>CRASH, back window shatters a foot from my head
>peel out
>THUNK
>not sure what that hit
>drive about 5 miles before remembering mostly dialed 911
>am pretty well panicked, dispatch wants me to stop at nearest gas station so cops/EMS can actually find me
>thats another 10 miles away
>oh hey Im bleeding, jeans are turning red-brown just below right pocket
>Get to closest gas station, a Ya Ya, drop trou in front of God and everyone to check wound
>just got burned a bit, have about a half inch trough in the skin
>cops show up like a minute later
>they're as freaked as I am, do basic first aid
>ambulance shows up an eternity later, wont let me refuse transport cuz crime related
>still waiting for treatment when cops come see me in hospital, take statement, say they found 3 stills and 20 spent .22mag cases
This old fuck managed to pretty well keep up with me, landed a hit while moving at at least 300 yards with a rimfire rifle, then shot the shit out of my car. Then fucking ghosted innaswamp, they never even got enough of a lead to build a suspect list.

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>>32573602
I would spend a weekend backpacking up in the Mon a lot. I was never the type to need to bring a firearm on trips like this, less fuckery in these isolated areas than near towns, didn't see the point. One night changed that.
>First night, hike in from trailhead through the rain. Make camp early as soon as the rain stops, wet and miserable.
>Set up my hammock, didn't want to attempt a fire with all that wet wood.
>Eat a can of tuna, read a book, things are starting to look up weather wise too
>Packing some baccy for an after dinner pipe before the sun goes down, when I suddenly notice it is quiet.
>The birds have stopped. Why?
>Something moving through the brush.
>Going to need my boots for this, whatever it is, put them on
>It's coming closer
>A large shadow moving through the brush
>It's a black bear, Not the biggest Bruin I've seen, but good sized considering the altitude and low game densities
>I yell at him, think I saw him before he noticed me, he starts, locks eyes.
>Oh shit, he isn't running like I'd thought he would.
>Get big. Flapping my rain jacket around, brother bear still isn't phased.
>Start scrounging at my feet for rocks blindly, I Am Not taking my eyes off of this asshole
>In my mind, the second I took eyes off of him he would charge
>I get a decent little pile of stones assembled, commence chucking.
>First hits a tree, no effect
>second flies over him, he balked at that one
>Third hits low
>But it bounces up and catches him square under the chin
>I swear the thing yelped like a dog, turned tail, and run off
>Followed yelling for a few paces, suddenly invigorated by the adrenaline
>Then I see it, a deer kill between my camp and where he was, not 50 feet from where I'm camped
>I go back, mull it over and decide to pack up.
>As I'm packing, I can what I assume is Mr, Bear circling around the hill to come back to the deer kill from the opposite side.
>I better make sure I'm gone before that

>>32577028
cont
>It's two miles back to the trailhead and the truck
>It's full on dark and I am just waiting to get mauled, or worse, have my backpack get torn up and destroyed by this pissed off bear, they don't make these well anymore and I had it since I was a young boy
>Get back to the truck, decide the trip is a wash at this point, show up to my buddies houseparty later with an external frame pack full of beer and a hell of a story
>I bought a worn old Ruger Security Six after that and kept it on a chest holster when backpacking from then on. I don't like bears, they are so temperamental, sometimes you just get an ornery one and next time I'll just shoot the damn thing.

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>>32576885
Fuck man, he was actually trying to kill you with his squirrel gun. He almost succeded too. That's a bad ass story, thanks for sharing. Glad you are alright. Do you wish they had caught him?
I never used to bring a rifle in the woods, but after run ins with assorted bandits I changed my mind. Better to be in a gunfight than hunted like an animal I suppose.
Here's a Popcorn.

post spooky and native american shit pls i wanna be scared

>>32576371
West Virginia, calling it

>>32577286
I never ran into any spoops, skinwalker or otherwise.
Must be a Western thing.
No Indians either, though I guess I have something close
>Split an apartment with a based Flip guy
>Carries a Karambit everywhere
>Long hair black hair, braids it. Sometimes he gets drunk and puts feathers in it
>Wears torn up and patched jeans, cowboy boots, and a tin cloth hat full of flies
>OCs a wildlife hatchet
>We tell everyone he's choctaw, random people talk to him like he's a red man.
>No one suspected he was a yeller feller

>>32573637
>good union job
No such thing

>>32577342
You got it right, I don't know why he's being a faggot now he mentioned it was WV previously.

>>32577200
I'm torn honestly. On one hand, he fucking tried to kill me. On the other, fucker probably had more claim to those woods than the deed holder.

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>>32577342
>>32577849
Fine. Winrar, winrar, chicken dinrar
Here, have another Popcorn.

This thread shall not perish

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>>32573602
Anybody know what these guys are?
No reverse image searching.
Winrar gets a greentext

Is somebody capping this?
Some nice stories are in here

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>>32580497
Greentext anyway
>Springtime. Down below the dam, trout fishing. Pretty sweet cold water release, plenty of native Brookies all year long
>Catch a couple of browns, reached creel limit
>Leave the creel in the water to keep the fish fresh, start poking around on the bank
>Moving upriver I found a morell.
>Only one, all alone. Pocket it and really start looking for morells further along the bank
>Go about a mile, see nothing, sun sinking to the west, begining to lose hope
>Oh well, still have some delicsous fresh fish in my creel back there
>About to turn around when I see a morell!
>And another
>And another
>And another
>And another
>And SPRRRRRRTTT!
>Oh holy fuck! I almost grabbed a goddamn rattlesnake!
>He's guarding more Morells and he's pissed
>Back up
>Undo the strap on my Security Six
>Draw
>First chamber is shotshell just for this very occasion
>Thinking about how snakemeat can compliment my meatlocker, how I'm getting a sweet hat band from his skin
>Holster
>Leave the sepent to guard my new morell patch from other mushroom hunters like a dragon guarding a treasure room
>Bake the trout with some ramps I had from earlier and sautee the deliscous mushrooms in butter with fiddleheads
>Best meal I ever ate.

Bump to make this thread live.

I love the stories

>>32580497
morrels. and fuck your green text.

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>>32581776
Winner
>Here's your greentext

>>32581484
quality .jpg
higher quality story

respect for leaving the guardian

Damn these are cool, where in appalachia?

Okay i have a pretty good one, this is in BC, Canada
>be may long weekend 2016
>me and friends (about 7 of us total) at our camp
>started drinking and smoking weed before we set up camp
ISHYGDDT
>camp is terrible, its raining like a bitch
>still fun as fuck because may long
>have my rossi ranch hand in 45 colt with me (locked away in truck incase bears)
>bring out the mushrooms
>start to boil water in kettle
>put about 1oz of mush in the tea
>everyone fills up about 5oz in their cups of mushroom tea
>Everyone is fucked 5 minutes later
>doesnt affect me because i did them the previous day
>babysitter.gif
having a great time, puffing on a joint
>friends acting like they pissed their pants
>every 2 min they ask if they pissed themselves
>we decide to go for a walk

>>32583300
>pouring rain
>im the only smart one with my under the knee high muck boots
>them in their skater shoes
>everyone is still fucked
>friend 1 is a bit behind us
>im with everyone else
>all of a sudden he starts sprinting past us
>isnt answering us when we say slow down
>cant find this fucking kid
>I find his belt on the god damn trail
>this kid is stripping down i think
>look a bit more, getting dark fast
>we go back to our camp to think wtf do we do
>me (sober) and other friend that is the least fucked go look for him
>i bring my TOPS knife, and ranch hand with some leverrevolution rounds, fenix flashlight
>cougar and bear country
>he has some shitty pocket knife and a lantern
>we keep walking the same way he went
>dark as fuck now, cant see anything that im not pointing my light at
>hear nothing but rain drops hitting my coat and on the ground
>all of a sudden, hear some fucked up noises
>shit sounds like its slowly getting closer
>were spooked as fuck
>have rifle at the ready
>keep trying to look for friend while whatever is trying to hunt us
>about 4 hours in we decide to head back
>same sounds, very angry sounding
>get back to camp friend just got there an hour before us
after the next morning me and a few other buddies went back to where we were, and there were cougar tracks all around where we were walking. and my friend that ran off thought he was in fucking narnia, but thats another story, if anyone wants to hear that part i will post it.

>>32576885
>innaswamp
Damn swampies. Just as bad as the unnagrounds.

>>32580772
fuck off, dipshit. there's an archive. we don't need future threads half filled with screencaps.

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>>32583312
I read this in Bubbles from TPB's voice, very funny.

>Doing psychadelics with dangerous predators around and lever action rifles.

So many Canadian life choices here.

>>32583619
i was perfectly fine, was sober as i said when we were looking for him. it was a good 4 hours after drinking a bit of tea, didnt affect me anyways since i did them the previous day. i wouldnt fuck with guns with under the influence regardless

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>>32583644
Not judging, just saying. You guys know how to party.

>>32583714
Thanks man, yeah we are big partyers just usually on may long and a few other weekends here and there. We only do mushrooms on may long and one other time per year. Looking forward to next maylong to see what other fucked up things we get up to. however i do actually leave my rifle in my truck until im good and sober, and I dont tell any of my friends i have it (they arent gun guys)

lol Canadian mushroom guy is posting in two inna woods threads

>>32583842
Because this thread was dead for a while

>>32583894
I'm typing up a good one now.

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>>32573602
I don't know if any of you gents are sportsmen, but I had to teach myself to hunt in fish when I was already an adult. I think we all make mistakes, whether they are violations of safety or ethics, when we first start hunting. These are seen as lesser when committed by children, since their reasoning sucks, but if an adult commits a rookie mistake, well, people are much less understanding. Boy did I fuck up once /k/.
>Based Flip tells me pic related are unregulated in the state
>'We can kill as many as we damn well please',
>No season
>No shooting hours
>No caliber restrictions
>I don't know if you guys have ever shot a munk, but all of the munks around climb up onto the tallest stick or log or rock around, and they stand still and start to bark.
>A group of us goes squirrel hunting one fall morning
>We are working up this steep isolated creek valley, we haven't seen a single squirrel and it's been two hours.
>They have .22s, I have a 20 ga
>One of the .22 gunners sees a munk onnalog, puts a CCI MiniMag through its head
>Another munk pops up 15 yards away from the first one
>Second .22 gunner promptly dispatches that one
>Another pops up, they both shoot it
>They work down the valley this way, the shooting is periodic
>I am not getting any because they are all out of range for the shotgunner, I go up the mountain to have my own fun
>I stumble upon a colony of them living among a jumble of rocks
>Wholesale slaughter
>Meanwhile, the volume of fire from down in the valley picks has picked up considerably
>The game pocket of my vest bouncing with Munk meat, I head down the mountain and swing around behind them to see what the ruckus is
>As I follow, I encounter piles of dead munks on rocks and logs, 3 here, 2 there, 5 here
>Into the vest they go
>When I finally catch up, I tell them to stop because my game pouch, which can hold two geese, is getting full
>The pouch is emptied and a picture is arraigned like one of those old British safari photos

>>32577028
I have a feeling if that was grizzly you would be bear poop right now.
I've always been told it's best to make yourself appear as nonthreatening as possible when meeting a bear in the wilderness. Not yelling and attacking it with rocks like you would do for a mountain lion.

And personally I'd much rather have bear spray than a .357

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>>32584124
Cont
>A picture is taken of the hunters with their rifles, and their numerous game
>The Munk Safari becomes an inside joke
>Later I find out that you would need a crop damage permit to take munks in the state
>Later still, I find out that these little guys have a lifespan of three years, not long, but longer than I expected.
>That day we put a serious dent into the population dynamics of that valley's munk population
>All future munk safaris were cancelled
>The photographic evidence was burned
>Later come to find out that a few of the gun shop guys used to do the same exact thing when they were kids
>I guess Munk Safaris are a staple of the Appalachian childhood, made me feel a little better

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>>32584195
No, you fight black bears.
You protect your neck in a ball on the ground with Old Ephraim.
Bear spray can't shoot venomous snakes
You cannot hunt with bear spray
Bearspray does not protect me from innawoods banditry
This isn't Ephraim's country, bears are not my primary concern, but when they were an issue, I would have had time to draw and fire a revolver
The only time you don't act aggressive towards a black bear is if it is a mother with cubs, even then, if it attacks, you fight back

>>32573637
>I have removed squatters, been stalked by moonshiners, and jumped out of a meth lab window.
Are you homeless with a shotgun anon?

>>32584393
I would never presume to be a /k/ saint. No, I am not him. I had a home, just did this stuff for fun.He did what he did to survive.

>>32581484
Sounds like a Mainer.

>>32584195
>I've always been told it's best to make yourself appear as nonthreatening as possible when meeting a bear in the wilderness
A stern glance has been known to separate a black bear sow from her cubs. They are NOT grizzlies. While I damned sure don't recommend the stern glance approach, the best way to deal with a BLACK bear is through intimidation.

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Post some more stories

>>32584209
Hahahhaa I knew a three avid hunters from work were walking around and got lost and suddenly came across a lot of ducks and gunned almost to there limit before they realized the stumbled upon a wildlife refuge they got the fuck out of there

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>>32577682
>>No one suspected he was a yeller feller

>>32583783
I'd like to hear about narnia

>>32577094
>or worse

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>>32587095
Bear Rape is no joke, Anon.

>>32573602
I came across a rave out innawoods once
Any anons want to hear that one?

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>>32587472
>Couple of friends and I decide to go play airsoft at night in this valley full of abandoned buildings
>Warehouses, garages, offices, machine shops
>Have to park a ways away, hide the jerps under burlap, lessons learned from run ins with the bulls earlier
>Infiltrating in, we start to hear a constant stream of concussions
>Dafuckisdat.jpg
>Whatever it is, it's coming from the warehouse
>Get closer, cars parked everywhere
>Shitty electronic music rattling building, the concussion is the bass
>Oh shit boys, it's a party!
>Faggots didn't post security
>Peek through hole in the wall where I can see it all, fully expecting some sort of animal suit orgy
>Oh shit boys, it's a rave!
>There are grills in there
>Decide the front door approach isn't a good idea, given our appearances
>Stash the airshit on our way around the back wall with the offices
>Post lookout, 'promise' to relieve him
>Start working the plywood off of one of the office windows
>Get it off, stack up
>First man through
>He clears the room, moves on
>Next man through
>As I'm climbing through, hear the slosh of tires on gravel, pause
>Another one
>Footsteps, someone is hauling ass towards me
>Ohshit, get ready to deck this guy as he comes around the corner
>It's our lookout
>COPSCOPSCOPS
>He goes to grab our airshit duffle while I get my guys outta there

>>32587605
>see my boys intermingling with grills
>all of a sudden it hits me
>must have been a mix of smoke and the lights
>my eyes get soar
>everyone walks the dinosaur

Jk keep going friend0

>>32587659
Nice rhymes anon!

>>32587605
>Crawl back through the window, through the offices, down the hall, get to the warehouse door and the cops have not entered yet
>I've seen this technique, all of the other cops wait outside of the door, one or two go in, the bastards outside get to pummel anyone who runs out
>I have to find my friends in this rave
>It is an assault on the senses, the strobes blinded me, the bass gave me PTSD, grills were grinding on me, everyone was drinking 4Lococs, Must. Find. Friends
>See one dancing with some grill, grab him from behind, he wheels around and backhands me, didn't know who I was.
>Trying to tell him the cops are here, he can't hear me
>Try to mouth 'PoPo'
>He says yeah, hands me a 4 loco
>I drag him out, when he finally understands the cops are here he comes right along
>I ask him where third man is, he dunno, number three was the first one in and he hasn't been seen since he climbed through that window
>I leave the office to go back into the rave area, cops come in the big front door
>Total fucking chaos
>I run out, jump out the window expecting the police to be waiting with my friends in cuffs
>They are hiding in the treeline, give me the yee yee
>They tried to call #3, but can't get him
>We decide we will be safe from the cops hiding here in our camo unless ravers escape and try to hide in the woods
>Out in the field in front of the warehouse, cops are chasing a bunch of half naked teenagers down and wrestling them down to cuff them in the mud
>Cue Yakety Sax, it's hilarious to watch from the safety of the trees
>Some big corn-fed boy swings on a cop
>He's promptly tazed in the titty
>Takes a second, but he goes down face first like a ton of bricks
>Footsteps coming from the backside of the warehouse coming our way quick
>Hunker down

>>32587433
na i was pointing that he said having his backpack torn up was a worse outcome than death and gave me a good giggle

>>32576885
Bragg or Lejeune? 82nd fag here and my buddies living off post have some strange stories from up in Spring Lake

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>>32587735
>It's #3!
>Cop in pursuit far behind
>As he passes us, grab him, cover his mouth and pull him into the bushes
>He stops struggling when he recognizes us
>Out front, a couple of ravers managed to get to their cars and it looks like that scene at the school from Red Dawn
>I think they grossly underestimated the number of people in there, had to be over 200
>Police backup continues to arrive, it's almost a full blown riot at this point
>Police finally clear the warehouse, guess they couldn't figure out how to shut off the music because it's playing and the strobes are going through an empty warehouse
>Cops have everyone who didn't escape out front, trying to figure out who to charge and who is sober enough to drive home
>Decide to reinsert through the window into the warehouse for the booze, two guys fill the airshit duffel with light beer and cheap vodka on the empty dancefloor, get back out before anyone notices
>Low crawl with the loot in a giant loop around the police that takes hours ala Cawadooty
>Celebrate a successful raid with skunked Natty light and Rikalov in pineapple soda
>mfw we stole a bunch of booze from normies who got arrested

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This is from a couple years ago but probably one of the creepiest things I found in the woods. Damn coyotes

>>32587778
I'm just imagining that sniper level from cod4 but instead of nuke deals its cheap alcohol

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>>32587812
When you are underage, free booze might as well be fissile material

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Forgot to mention what we did with the Munk meat.
>One of the hunters worked in a restaurant
>we went into the kitchen one night after close
>ran them whole through a big food processor
>scraped that out and ran it through pic related into baby food jars
>Cleaned everything up and sanitized it real well, so the breakfast crew had no idea

what do you guys bring when going innawoods?

it'd be fun to wear camo fatigues and bring an AK but I don't want to go full edgelord and get the cops called on me

>>32587948
An orange ballcap and a valid hunting liscense lets me carry a rifle on public land everyday of the year.
>Crow hunting

>>32577200

Assorted bandits? Do tell anon

>>32587998
Ah man, the cap kind of takes away the feeling of cheeki breeki

>>32587778
Yea that totally happened.

>>32588261
Replace ballcap with russian gas mask painted hunter orange?

You could cheeki breeki, and not be unsafe!


Or.. Be a S.T.A.L.K.E.R., and accept the risk that comes with it

>>32588261
Or, you can go on National Forestland and cheeki till you breeki, because you can bring guns into those 'just because'. That one really weird trap tripfag with the FAL in Pennsylvania does it, I think, the guy in AZ with the AK and the really nice new Tacoma does it, I've done it, and I've seen all kinds of edgy "survivalists" with .40 cal Glocks do it while backpacking in really popular spots. If you are a Western fag, BLM land, Reclamation land, wildernesses, etc are all open for you to litter with steel cases as you roleplay your little Slavic heart out in.
Check your state regs on state forests and firearms.

>>32580497

Morrels, not just edible, fucking delicious. Fry em In butter and put em on a steak

>>32588354
>steel cases

Brass casings only for my Russian nugget.

>>32588247
See above greentexts

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>>32588424
Ah, I see you know your judo well

>>32588354
>That one really weird trap tripfag with the FAL in Pennsylvania does it
PA bro here, thanks for the warning about this one. I've always heard that scarier things than deer haunt these woods.

>>32588690
If you hear his motorcycle, it is already too late

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>>32589061
Flandere?

Anyone from central PA here? PSU here, I wanna find other /k/ommandos to cheeky breeki with

>>32584831
hahah holy shit. I could imagine the looks on their faces, like holy fuckin jackpot.

>>32589432
PSU bro here. Are you the dude I see wearing the flecktarn jacket?

I hope people realize that every single story posted in this thread is fiction, even the ones that you think aren't. /spoopy/ threads are /lit/'s main outpost on this board.

>>32589988
Jesus christ loosen up.

>>32590175
It just chaps my ass that we can have spoopy threads on /k/, but we can't have anime club story threads on /a/.

>>32589988
The real problem is they start out believable and then turn into total bullshit like that one retard with his rave story.

>>32589432
NWPA bro here, except stationed in Germany for the time being. Was this guy earlier in the thread that found this in the PA woods
>>32587807

>>32589916
Nope, but you can hit me up on a throwaway email

[email protected]

>>32573637
Clean work anon. Got rid of a drug op, no one got hurt, and the squatters probably thought a rival drug op came to teach them a lesson.

>>32576532
>>32576628
This is like mad max with hillbilly's. I thought most of the WV stereotypes were false, I guess I was in the wrong part of the state when I ended up dating someone from there.
> Never going innawoods unarmed ever again

>>32588354
I can't speak for the national forest land, but PA state forests are a mixed bag. From what I've heard from others, generally best bet calling the office for a particular state game land and asking if 'primitive camping and shooting' are allowed there. If you get the OK you're set, otherwise it's no bueno according to how the law is written.

>>32589061
I want to hear more about this guy.

>>32588690
There's plenty of wackos out there, not including the strange paranormal shit people mention now and then.

>>32589432
I'm from Centre PA. Scotia range is right around the corner, if you go during the week it's pretty much desolate. Not a fan of the 3 round limit though, if anyone knows places nearby you can shoot long range without a round limit, i'm all ears.

>>32591215
I literally live right next to scotia. I have a private range I go to, but from my experience, they don't give a shit about the 3 round limit. I've mag dumped a AK-74 next to an RO and never got so much as a glance

>>32588354
I ran into him on Omegle the other night. Nice collection of weaponry, and a nice maid outfit tbqh.

>>32585568
will do senpai.
>friend started sprinting infront of us
>kept going
>goes off trail about halfway from where we turned around, no tracks
>he thinks its a dream, that he went through a wardrobe and is going to see the lion, and the witch
>lays down on a stump
>2 hours go by
>wakes up slightly less fucked up
>"oh fuck where the hell am I"
>he is soaking fucking wet, was raining hard all day
>only in hoodie and sneakers
>he somehow passes our camp because he is west of us by about 1km
>now he is in the opposite direction of the camp, and where anon and i are looking for him
>he goes to this random camp
>decked out with trailers, tarps, all the necessities of camping for the weather, unlike us
>takes a bit for them to realize he isnt one of their group
>most of them are saying you need to leave or we are going to fuck you up
> the others say he can stay aslong as he helps them with firewood
>he just wants to get warm, dry and then leave
>tells them he is having a really bad trip on mush
>they wont let him
>he helps them with firewood
>big ass fucking stumps they used for firewood
>they give him a few beers
>point him in the right direction
>he gets to camp and everyone just fucking stares at him
>scold him saying that anon and I are still looking for him in a storm and in pitch black in bear country
>theyre freaking out
>time goes by we show up
>scold friend some more
>end up laughing and bro'ing down because mush is a hell of a drug
It is our tradition every maylong weekend we go camping to that area, with mushrooms and tonnes of booze and party hard. the maylong before we thought we were on mars because we camped on the beach part, and there was a bright ass orange light at the opposite end, mixed with the sand that looked exactly like the movie the martian background on mars.

>>32591215
Is Bald Eagle National Forest near you guys?

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Best thread I've ever seen

>>32595143
Ikr. We can't let it die

>>32593840
Kek
Thanks for the story anon, I love hearing about random interactions with people, they're amusing pretty often.

>have a cabin out inna woods
>no electric
>no water except for well
>no cell service
>perfect SHTF place
>go by myself to stay for a couple nights
>bring my trusty SKS
>sit by the fire and have a couple beers, all is chill till I start hearing a couple quads on the ridge above me
>grab rifle and climb up hillside to investigate
>been suspicious of shit heads growing pot around here
>get to the top and see the fuckers riding around
>one has rifle mounted on front of quad
>lay low in the treeline out of site
>they drop off the other side of the hill and leave the area
>I leave and get back to the cabin right as it gets dark
Continued

>>32596634
>sit by the fire for a couple more hours till I run out of wood to burn
>still pretty spooked about the two guys
>eat dinner and go to the cabin for the night
>probably about two in the morning when I hear the quads again, this time a lot closer to the cabin
>look out the window and see headlights coming my way
>slap a stripper clip into rifle, turn off my lantern, and get ready
>they stop right outside
>I'm perched in the loft of the cabin with gun pointed right at door
>hear footsteps on the porch and I see the handle jiggle as they try to open the door
>on verge of shitting myself at this point
>they leave the porch but I I didn't hear the quads start up so i figured they walking around looking for a way in
>I hear them talking but couldn't make out what they said
>after another 10 or 15 minutes they get back on quads and leave
Part 3 coming

wish I had some innawoods stories like this ;-;

>>32576532
>>32576628
>not hunting them for sport

Threads like this make me want to go hunt spooks and scumbags.

>>32596770
>didn't get much sleep rest of the night and the next morning I was debating on whether I should pack up and leave
>decide to man up and stay
>spend most of the day fishing and the rest chopping wood and walking trails
>don't hear or see anything all day
>that night I'm sitting by the fire and I hear the quads again on the same ridge as last time
>I stay by the fire thinking they probably wouldn't come down here again
>but damn was I wrong
>hear the motor cut off at the top of the hill and I few minutes later I hear something walking down towards me
>I guess the dumb ass saw the fire and thought he could sneak up on me
>he comes walking out of the treeline right in front of me
>has a revolver in his hand and he walks up to me and asks what I'm doing here
>as if it wasn't obvious that I was camping
>tell him that this is private property and he should leave
>he gives me some shitty look and mumbles something about being able to go wherever the hell he wants
>we start arguing and it gets fucking heated
>I say something about telling the cops about his plants
>big mistake
>I can tell he didn't take to kindly to that
>says "we'll see about that" and walks back up the hill to his quad
>I'm freaking the fuck out at this point
>I pack my shit up and start walking back to my truck a couple miles down a trail
>hear more quads in the direction of the cabin so I haul as to my truck and drive off
>come back a few days later and see that the shit heads vandalized the fuck out of the cabin
>broken window
>spray painted "eat shit" on the front door
>they stole the chairs I had on the porch
>last thing I did before I left was put some nails through a board and placed it on their quad trail up on the ridge so they'd run over it
>I must've spooked them because after that I never saw them again and never had any problems with pot plants on the property ever again

>>32596953
What a bunch of cunts.

>>32596953
These guys are lucky they didn't get ventilated trying the handle on a cabin out innawoods.

Bumping this thread with my one of least shitty stories. Spoiler alert, it's still pretty shitty and uninteresting.

>Circa 2008
>Lived in Okinawa my whole life until a couple years after I graduated high school
>Kitanakagusuku Castle is literally across the street from where I went to driving school
>Pic related looms over the castle on the hillside. It was construction for a hotel that was abandoned in the 70's. Local lore says it was haunted and all these construction workers died during construction from weird causes and blahblahblah.
>Class started early to get our practice in for our night driving test that was going to happen later in the evening
>Student I was partnered with for the evening test says "Yo Anon, you wanna go grab some chicken and explore the ruins?" Since we had time to kill
>Go to Family Mart, load up on Orion beer, chicken, Lucky Strike cigs and a loaf of bread.
>Abandoned hotel ruins were off limits to all Burgerland personell, including their half breed subhuman fucks like me, so we bike down to a temple halfway down the hill so I won't get seen by any Burgers at the castle ruins and have one report me.
>Hike up 45 degree or greater incline through straight jungle in Adidas Sambas.
>Our point of entry is the bottom left part of the building tucked into the trees at the back of pic related
>Climb up a water pipe to a window leading into one of the bathhouses, have to jump into a tub full of rotten wood from the ceiling falling out.
>turn left and find the water heater room. rip off a decent sized pipe, commence the destruction anything wooden for shits n gigs
>Work our way to the front, then get on the roofs and work our way to the very top of the ruins. Open up the loaf of bread, and make chicken sandwiches, down a few beers and chill out. We're easily spotted by people touring the castle below, but from this distance I look like a local so I wasn't concerned.
>Almost fall off the roof, friend is petrified.

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>>32598157
Forgot pic related like a dumbass.

I really do miss living there but it's so noguns it hurts, so I only occasionally visit. Next time I'm there I'll definitely grab some good photographs of the place.

>>32598164
Also I forgot to mention all the weird shit about the place.
>It's an infrastructure nightmare.
>Sometimes the halls don't keep the same width, they occasionally narrow or widen for no fucking reason, floors aren't even level all the time and rise/descend in some places. Unsure if this is just 70's wacko styling going over the top or what.
>Some sections had staircases that just stopped. They either went down straight into a concrete wall, or they went up straight into the ceiling. Although I guess that could be attributed to construction not being finished, it was still pretty weird.
>There were two large concrete structures out back that had just one small square hole in their roofs and nothing inside or out at all. No doors or windows. I assume there had to be some sort of drain inside though because they weren't filled with water.
>There's one room where there's a rusted shell of an old compact car just sitting there. No idea how it got in or anything. Even had the engine block just sitting on the ground.
>Lots of places inside where there's no natural light at all, which I'll admit isn't scary with a flashlight, but all I had that first time was a zippo.
I never had the balls to go stay the night in there, not so much because of the myths, but just because I couldn't convince any friends to, and I didn't want to go it alone.

>>32596953
He had a pistol in hand on your property and his intentions were known to be foul, he threatens you while brandishing said handgun, and you didn't take control of the situation with your SKS. Did not hold him till authorities showed up. Then after you let him go he caused a whole bunch of damage to your property. Am I getting this right?
Good story regardless.

>>32573602
>>32573637
>>32573659
>>32573686
>>32573711
>>32573728

This type of writing reminds me of Dashiell Hammett and the Continental Op series. Nicely done OP

>>32578347
Local moonshiner knows this one wierd trick. Revenue men hate him.

I don't want to see this thread die, so here's a few short stories. They all took place on my friend's grandfather's property deep into the Sierra Nevadas.

>There's usually not much trouble around the area other than bears, the only common issue at the property are people trespassing with their ATVs.
>Wasn't always that way.
>Back in the '70s, skinheads were running rampant in the area. (Really just crackheads, but that's just what we call any troublemaker)

>There's an old miner's cabin and a few other buildings on the property, so it wasn't uncommon for squatters to come along.
>Friend's grandfather would go run them off regularly.
>Was doing a squatter patrol with his friend and their two dogs one day.
>The dogs alert them that there's something a ways behind them.
>They look back and see four people hiking through the woods.
>Whatever, there's a campground down the valley and they aren't on his property.
>Squatter patrol continues on.
>They go a little ways further when the dogs start acting up again.
>The dogs are agitate this time.
>They look behind them too see those four hikers again, but now they're closer.
>Actually, they're a lot closer, almost like...
>... almost like they were being followed.
>Squatter patrol stays stationary, watching the group as they come closer in silence.
>These aren't hikers. These are skinheads.
>What's more, they're all wielding morning-star-like clubs and knives. They've got their eyes locked on the outnumbered squatter patrol.

>>32599368
Go on.

>>32599368
Pt 2

>My friend's grandfather isn't scared. He's angry. Very angry.
>He and his friend pull out their guns. The skinhead hunting party stops in tracks.
>He starts yelling at them.
>"You boys think you can just waltz right onto my property and try to sneak up on me? What the hell is wrong with you?! GET OFF MY LAND AND DON'T COME BACK!"
>The hunting party starts heading back the way they came without saying a word.
>Squatter patrol goes back to the cabin. No one goes anywhere without a dog and a gun, but the skinheads aren't ever seen again.

A few years go by, but it's business as usual at the cabin apart from the occasional squatter or trespasser.

>Friend's grandfather is heading up to the property to check on how things are. It's been a few months since he was last there, but the holidays are coming and there's money to be made by cutting and selling Christmas trees.
>It's getting late and his workers aren't going to start coming in until tomorrow, but he wants to be up at the cabin tonight.
>The sun has just gone over the horizon when he finishes making his way up to the top of the mountain where the cabin's at.
>He doesn't remember why, but he left his truck's engine on.
>He started making his way to the door of the cabin to unlock it when he looks out into the treeline and notices that the shipping container he uses for storage looks open.
>He heads over to the container not sure whether to find out if all his equipment has been stolen or if there was a bear sleeping inside.
>Grabs the door and swings it open.
>It's not a bear. It wasn't a robbery.

>>32599626
Pt 3

>It was a group of skinheads in the middle of making meth.
>He stood there for what felt like an eternity, staring at the skinheads while they stared back.
>He was sure that his life was about to end with the flash of gunfire.
>But before that could happen, he snapped out of it and slammed the door shut to buy time for a dash to his pick-up.
>It's a pretty rough-road that leads to the cabin, but he sped down the mountain as if it was a freeway.
>The next morning he went up the mountain armed with back-up, but the meth lab had already been cleared-out.

I don't know if there are any other interesting stories about the cabin back in the skinhead 70s, but I'll ask my friend about it and report back here if he tells me any more.

>Be 9 year old Ausfag deeeeep inna Australian outback with my old man living in a bus
>Camped out next to this beautiful, crystal clear river running through hard desert in central Queensland with two Swedish hot tourists (I was oblivious to it at the time but in retrospect I realized my old man was nailing them)
>Wake up one morning and there's a tent about 50 feet from our campsite with this dude wearing a bathrobe who looks like Jesus
>He has a big fucken knoife and he's pretty clearly unstable
>We leave that very day
>Run into him 8 years later when I'm in year 12, he's now an outpatient at a local mental hospital
>Crisis averted

Not much as stories go but I never understood how my old man pulled chicks like that despite being 5'7 with a face only a mother could love and no money to speak of. I know he used me to do it sometimes though, fuck I was cute when i was a kid. Too bad it didn't last.

>>32599709
Better learn his secrets so you can follow in his footsteps, anon.

Is it a bad thing that I want to go to some of the areas mentioned and set up bait properties to hunt meth cooks and other undesirables on?

They come for the shacks and stay to ensure the worms are properly fed.

>>32599774
Not for human minds apparently, he's been an /x/ tier conspiracy theorist for as long as I've been alive. It just makes no goddamn sense.

>>32599780
Not at all. Maybe set up some cabins that are easily lockable from the outside, deep in the woods. When you get some meth heads out there start setting traps.

>>32599780
The investigative abilities of most of these areas is so hampered by small budgets that they have to bring other departments to do CSI work. If you have no connections to them, you will likely get away with it

>>32599638
Now for a bear story from the cabin.

>Bears are very common at the cabin. Even with bear-proof doors, they've been able to break into the cabin and ransack the first floor on a couple occasions.
>Not much you can do except to know that you're in bear country and to act accordingly.
>The black bears can be pissy at times, but they're usually not a big deal.
>But the Grizzlies there? They're exceptionally aggressive.
>There's been a number of bear-related stories from the cabin, but there's a couple that stand out from the others.

>Friend's grandfather is driving up above the cabin in his pick-up.
>He's just finished making his rounds and is heading back down to the cabin when he notices something in the mirror.
>It's a grizzly.
>It's running.
>More accurately, it's charging. It's charging after his truck and it's gaining fast.
>Before he could shift into a higher gear and get away, the bear lunged at the truck and managed to put in claw marks on the right side.
>The bear tumbled after it made its lunge, left behind in a cloud of dust by the truck.

>Two of the Christmas tree harvesting workers were out in one of the patches doing clean-up and seeding for the end of the year.
>A couple grizzlies came out of nowhere over the top of the nearby hill and both immediately charged at the two workers.
>There was a rifle in the truck, but it was in the same direction as the charging bears.
>So one of the workers ran towards bears, opened the truck's door and grabbed the rifle.
>I don't know how they did it, but the two workers were able to fend off the two grizzlies and survive.

Posted this in the other innawoods thread, but that one fucking died on me.

(seriously we had like 3 innawoods threads up at once)

>be about 11 or 12
>it's halloween
>trick or treating with my little sister and aunt
>aunt is in her early twenties, sister is around 8
>live in fairly standard burbs, but there's a fairly dense woods near my old (then current) elementary school
>a bunch of rich old people live in the woods
>it's like a neighborhood within a neighborhood
>decide to try out a few of the houses that straddle the border between the 'normal' portion of the neighborhood and the part nestled in the woods
>huge_handfuls_o_candy.fla
>all of us get excited and decide to go further into the woods
>the handouts get bigger and better the further we go
>woods eventually thin out and we enter what looks to be a second neighborhood
>aunt is starting to get concerned, isn't familiar with this area at all
>none of the houses in this second neighborhood are even lit, or decorated for that matter
>no trick or treaters, either
>this is despite the fact that it's like, 7:20 at the latest
>even as an admittedly dim child, i could sense something was off
>aunt could obviously sense it too
>sister's complaining about her feet hurting
>this neighborhood looks fucking creepy
>it's hard to describe, it was too perfectly normal
>the streets seem to stretch out way longer than anywhere else in the entire city
>darkness begins to rapidly fall
>again, it's like 7:20 or 30 at this point
>go back into woods
>streets are hard as hell to navigate in the darkness
>end up tripping on an overgrown root and hurting my ankle pretty badly
>finally see my elementary school
>emerge back onto home turf
>everyone's feet are hurting (mine especially)
>just call it a night
>the giant handfuls helped swell our bags despite the time we lost

>>32587767
Bragg. I lived just north of Spring Lake and this happened southeast of post.

>>32587948
Jeans or my old BDU pants and either a camo or brown long sleeved shirt, fuddcamo coat if it's cold.

There is something legal to hunt every month of the year except May here, and OC is both legal and commonly accepted so nobody's gonna bat an eye at a dude with a rifle.

Also, Robin Sage guys running everywhere on both public and private land, so if you wanna go full autist in gear you get left alone.

File: IMG_6445.jpg (2MB, 4032x3024px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 4032x3024px

>>32589432
Of course there are PA fags in here.

>>32589432
>>32590352

NW PA here too

>>32600855
Dude I live near there

>>32602546
You and about 30,000 other soldiers. I left in 2014 tho. Story happened 2008.
>tfw cell is 910 area code
>tfw still get random texts about jump prep from NCOs at Bragg and up in Alaska
Actually made friends with a SSG in Alaska cuz he texted me accidentally at like 4am

Any more weird fayetteville/ spring lake stories?

>>32603409
Sure. Not innawoods but still.
>be in WTB waiting on med retirement
>this requires my presence like once a week to make sure I haven't up and died on them
>have job at local gas station (Family Fare)
>tornadoes go thru and flatten a bunch of Fayetteville
>gas station out of power, boss pays me to sit in the gas station with a rifle to deter looters
>nearly every hour have to tell someone to gtfo
>one guy shows up, starts beating on the door
>no faggot, no power=no booze for u
>guy goes back to his car
>grabs a pry bar
>ok this guy's retarded
>approaches glass door
>I'm standing directly behind door
>prybar enters joint
>weapon light goes on and into his eyes
>door is forced, safety comes off
>muzzle touches forehead as he crosses threshold
>THEN he decides he really doesn't wanna get shot over a 40 of Old E
>detain and wait
>calling me a racist the whole time, takes cops over an hour to show up

>>32604469
You have the patience of a saint, not rifle butting Mr. Tyrone till he was quiet

>>32605280
More like "I'm a couple months from retirement and $3200 a month in disability and I REALLY don't want to fuck that up" and several mini-riots were ongoing due to looters getting blasted elsewhere (mostly by cops).

There were a lot of home invasions and retail burglaries during the 4 days of city-wide power outages. The local Best Buy got hit for close to $10,000,000 in 48 hours because after they got their front doors plowed out by a nig in a stolen pickup the cops refused to post a 24 hour guard and none of the repair companies were willing to send a crew out to fix them.

Bumperoni

>>32587807
Dat Century C308 muzzle break.

>>32601343
Wonder if there's any NY fags, probably.

>>32587807
I found a cool dead durr in a creek a few years ago, I'll check for a picture.

>>32609171
Ny fag present