How would /k/ remove honk if attacked?

Wring its neck, take it home and eat it.

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>>32554929

>>32554929
Am I at home?
Probably just shoot it from the porch and feed it to the cats and dog.

>>32554946
I can confirm. This will work.

6 shots of .357 magnum.
More than enough to kill anything that honks.

>>32554929
Kick it, wring it's neck.

>killing one
Enjoy your felonies boys

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>>32554929
Geese are bad cause they hurt doggos

>>32555054
Did it bite its pecker?

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>>32555054
Hey Chuck, get a loaf of bread some nets.

>>32554929
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-Tsy2sUx0s

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>>32555049
>Enjoy your felonies boys
This. I'm a park ranger and if I ever saw a guest hurt one of our protected geese, I would have grounds to immediately arrest them.

>>32554946
or havea a big masonry bucket with a hole cut in the top, but bucket on goose, goose will stick its dumbfuck head out of the hole, then garden shears

>>32555089
Well great, now there's a dead goose and a dead park ranger.
This day is just getting worse and worse.

>>32555121
Kek

>>32555089
Please tell me it's just like Brickleberry

>>32555089
So what you're really saying is that you're a massive faggot

>>32555121
Kek
Do you think park rangers will fall for the shears trick?
>>32555089
Is that your uniform?

Hose it down with chlorine triflouride.

>>32555121
Eat the ranger, bury the goose

Bear mace on geese is a pretty hilarious time

>>32555174

>Eat the ranger, fuck the goose

FTFY

>>32555142
I sure hope so!

>>32555174
>>32555186
>fuck and eat them both

Goosemeat isn't worth wasting

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wouldd it be possible to design a double barrel shotgun that could fire miniatureized cannon chain shot for wraping arond the neck of a goose or the even more terrorfying foe, the swan?

>>32555261
Shit tastes like grass. Literally you are what you eat

>>32555342
So I would be the new park ranger if I cannibalized him?

>>32555351
Probably, but the meat would taste like unwarranted self importance and dick in ass.

>>32555111
Double Trips checked

>>32554929
Playing golf a couple years ago I hit a goose with a direct shot off the tee. It didn't kill the beast, but he was stunned for several seconds before he could honk and fly away. They are a resilient foe.

>>32555379
Top kek

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>>32554929

Dad always told me that Canadian geese deserve to be mulched.

Specklebelly geese are the masterrace.

>>32554929
go shill elsewhere faggot

>>32555463
Looks delicious.

>>32555089
i wanna slide my penis in her warm, tight freshly lubed sweet asshole slowly before increasing frequency to the point i'm slammin dat ass.

>>32555599
No you wouldn't. Chances are she doesn't like fat neckbeards that sweat cheeto dust, so it's stupid to even think you would.

>>32555608
I read that wrong, i thought you said "I would". I apologize.

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>>32555121
>>32555128
>>32555136
>>32555142
>>32555174
Good thing I can spot your type from a mile away. I would make sure to take hourly passes by your camp site to make sure you guys pick up your trash and if I see so much as a single hot coal left in your firepit I am calling for backup. You'd be amazed how quickly it can arrive in a tricked out tahoe

>>32555272
Wouldn't even need to be double-barreled. You can actually make effective "bolo" shells with standard 3in 12ga loads.

>>32555617
Typical lowly park ranger. Seems your brain is too oxygen starved by your raging erection for "MUH KLEEN PARK" that you forget literally nobody respects you. The fact you would call for back up over a coal just goes to show the kind of sperg you are.

>>32554929

>wait until they're in season
>buy permit
>load 12 guage with plug with birdshot
>use shotgun to remove honk

Why are these things even protected? Is it because they'd go extinct from pissing everyone off every year or because they're important to the ecosystem somehow due to their migration?

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>>32554929

>>32555617
>implying I would go anywhere there are park rangers
The one time I was forced to stay somewhere there were parkies one got high and mighty and busted our friend for a joint. I bet he told his mom about his epic bust when he got home.

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>>32555272
>the swan
>killing the most holy animal

>>32554929
You dont because some fucknut decided they are endagered species here even though they poison fields with their massive amount of shit.

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>>32554946

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>>32555617
>I am calling for backup
lmao

>>32555743
They've been removed from the endangered species list for years though? If anything they've almost become a nuisance animal with how fast their population has exploded over the years

>>32555775
Not in every country.

>>32555743
Aren't leafgeese the only protected ones? Even then isn't that an issue of them being migratory birds "you can't kill because they're property of leafy governments"?

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#4 turkey shot

I think I could slaughter one or two

>>32555617
OH SHIT THEY HAVE A HOT COAL AND SOME TRASH WE NEED BACKUP ASAP

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>>32555836
>YFW Rangers are innawoods rent-a-cops

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>>32555633
>>32555724
>>32555761
>>32555836
i can see you've never spent a night in the park services jail. Toasting marshmallows and roasting brats with my boys while some goon sits in a cold concrete cell in mid-February is truly the best. getting comfy while some moron who thought smoking a blunt innawoods was a good idea freezes his nuts off puts a smile on my face. Stay the fuck away from these geese motherfucker.

>>32555067
Yes. Poor thing.

Feed them dimes

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>>32555272
>or the even more terrorfying foe, the swan?
Leave the swans be, peasant.

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>>32554946
If anyone knows how to remove poultry, it's pic related.

>>32555893

You realize you're going to be buried standing up because you threatened to do gangsta shit to a real gangsta, right? I mean, this is like smoking. Your behavior feels good now but will ultimately kill you.

I hope this new wave of turkey domination in New England forces those shithonks back to canuckistan where they belong

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>>32554940
>eat it.
I would rather eat a boiled rock, at least that would be tender

>>32555954
>poultry
Nigga, that's fowl.

>>32555463
your father was a wise man

t. Leaf

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>>32555956
Arresting criminals who abuse federal lands is not "gangsta shit" you clown.

>>32555893
>protecting geese
>not removing
You've never been to the prairies in spring have you?

>>32556025
This

How in the hell is a goose all dark meat AND tough as shit?

>>32556077
It's because they are made of pure hatred and spite

My county literally contracts people to cull them from local parks and donates the meat to homeless shelters. Why the fuck do I have to pay for a stamp to shoot them?

>>32555089
the need for protecting these canadian shit machines ended decades ago.

we hunted them nearly to extinction because they're tasty. its time we put them back on the menu.

>>32555272
swan is love, geese is death

>>32556235
Sounds like you're missing out on a business opportunity. Start a culling business, get licensed and bonded and underbid the other companies.

>>32556327
Pretty sure swans are dicks too, but they're pretty so they get away with it. All birds are assholes.

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>>32556027
>Double meaning

I stand corrected.

>>32556235
You don't HAVE to

I've killed four deer in the past month and haven't had a hunting license in 10 years

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>>32554929
Fucking Canadian Geese, man.

Know why Canadians are so mellow and polite? When God made Canada, he gave all the anger he had left to the fucking geese. We just had our bag limit lowered recently. Used to be you could take like 10 a day and keep 20 in the freezer in September.

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>>32554929
>Try to shoo it away
>Shoo failed, kick it away
>Still coming, kick it harder
>Still coming, try to wrestle it into submission and get it away from me without harming it too bad
>Still coming, a few rounds of 9mm

I've been attacked by geese before, it's horrifying, but not hard to really counter. Ya just gotta wrassle em'

>>32556546
Grab the neck and break, easiest way

>>32555617
See >>32555136

>>32554929
Pull my glawk brand glawk 26 and magdump

Then reload with my 22 round mag and look to see if any reinforcements are coming

>>32555463
There is something sexy about that goose

>>32556564
But that's not fun. Ya gotta wrassle the cunt.

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I'm Canadian and am sorry about these shitbirds.

If I had supreme executive power I would offer a bounty on every dead one that got turned in for a reward for each with no limit on number culled. Fuck'em.

>>32556263

my buddy went out in a group and got dozens in a couple hours. i put a couple pieces on the smoker for him, a little teriyaki, soy and fresh black pepper after smoke. very good he said. i personally wouldnt hunt them but they do fucking shit everywhere

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>>32555617
>>32555893
What the fuck is wrong with people who go into these "alternative" "law enforcement" "careers"?

>>32556371
The problem is that birds are just smart dinosaurs that can fly. They've earned the right to be assholes.

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>>32554946
does anyone have the story about the war between geese and cats in this guy's yard?

>>32558520
It's the same thing that law enforcement has. Short man syndrome.

>>32555142

Use CP instead of bread and they would

>>32558520
Who cares, he's the beautiful motherfucker who keeps giving us these gifs whenever he posts.

>>32559005
>tfw I stopped reading the thread and just started looking for more girl videos

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>>32558399
>I'm Canadian and am sorry
you're making us look bad

>>32554946
Oh holy shit

>>32558520
He's just has autism and little man syndrome.

Smash his head in with a toolbox and then throw him out of an airlock.

I'm mystified by these geese attacking stories.

I live by areas with massive amounts of canadian geese and they seem like chill motherfuckers. They just walk around, eat grass, and shit everywhere.

What the fuck are you guys doing to them?

>>32555612
what a class act

>>32559362
fuck off Kevin you humongous cocksucker

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>>32554929
Grab two by their necks and use them as flails to hit the other geese while spinning like a beyblade

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>>32558764
Found it, damn I need to organize my folder.

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Seize the first one by the throat, use it as a bludgeon against the rest.

>>32555565
Angry goose spotted

>>32556263
Only some subspecies are protected anymore, and they're fairly rare. The rest of them are fully kill-able.

I shot 3 honkers this year (and a couple hundred ducks). They're certainly on MY menu.

>>32559397
>>32559495
Beat ya to it, huh?

>>32555088
hahahahaha

>>32559657
fuckin saved

>>32554929
with duel wielded weed whackers that I stole form my mexican't neighbors

>>32555738
>what is the dove

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>>32559362
Slip him and steal his shoes.

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>>32554929
Apologize to it and avoid confrontation.

Pic related

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>>32555054

>mfw

Fuck honkers.

>>32554929
>grab by the neck
>squeeze while swinging it like a big stupid honking flail until dead
>beat against hard objects like trees as needed

>punt the little bastard with a proper amount of force
>repeat until bird dead or fleeing

>retrieve large stick or other handy blunt object
>beat bird with stick until dead or fleeing

>shoot it

>>32559880
>University of Waterloo

Why am I not surprised

>>32559755
A bleached pidgeon.

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>>32559880
If you kill the geese, they win.

High powered strobe flashlights are fun. Geese will swing their head around hissing because they cant see where to bite

>>32554929
when I was a kid geese would congregate in our backyard, and we couldnt do much about it because we had a crazy neighbor who loved geese (he would feed them and build heated "goose houses" for them in the winter) and would get your ass jailed for fucking with them. turns out if you point a laser pointer at them they go the fuck away.

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>>32560146

>mfw shit like this
>mfw most of this thread

Against other animals, I'd feel bad.

But geese are rude as fuck.

>>32560171

A 100mw IR laser at their eyes would be a very bad thing to do

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>>32554929
I've always wanted to try a guillotine broadhead.
It works on turks, honkers have a much larger target profile.
So many beautiful decapitations.

>>32560106
Let them show my wife where the wild goose goes.

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>>32560029
>Fuck honkers.
green line is better anyway.

>>32560305
>my
Is Trudeau on /k/?

>>32560184
100Mw would be giggles though

>>32559657
i wonder what sweet and sour geese taste like?

>>32555893
who is this, and what is she wearing. i wanna see my girl in this NOW

>>32555681
That officer was probably smug as fuck when he realized that he now had both authority and cause to order men to remove honk.

>>32555681
>tactical goose abortionist
10/10

>>32554929
I have found that they are intimidated by a man on a bicycle and also lack the reflexes to dodge one come at them at high speed.

One could plow through a mess of them and grab one by the neck pretty easily. The bike would also allow you to gtfo quickly if someone called the cops.

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>>32555681
>ywn call in a fire mission on a pack of geese

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>>32560964

>tfw you'll never go flock-fragging with 155mm projos

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>>32554946
I have always joked about using garden shears on live poultry, but I had no idea if it would work...

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>>32554929
M60 from a huey would work pretty well

>On top of an abandoned school when I was around 17
>Goose nests all over
>Friends and I are just chilling when a huge goose starts charging at us from across the roof
>Pick up a piece of debree (large stick) and bash the motherfucker in the neck as hard as I can
>It falls on its side and makes a bunch of noises while wing attacking at everything nearby
>Step on its head while my friend throws his hoodie on its body and holds it down
>Cut the head off with my Buck 110

Nowadays I just use my 20 gauge to remove honks that come on my property.

>>32554946
How do you cull geese? They're migratory.

>>32561549
They are in Ohio year round.

>>32561549
Not all geese are migratory. Hell, the wild ones will quit migrating if you feed them year-round.

>>32561557
>>32561564
You're talking about Canadian geese, right? They spend the summer in the north.

>>32561576
Most yes. But I see dozens of the fuckers every time I leave my house. It's -8 here and they are still just waddling around being cunts

>give neighborhood children slingshots
>???????
>all the windows get broken but the geese find somewhere else to live in a hurry

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plz don't kill all the geese, their eggs are really good for making pasta and pastries

>>32561627
They overwinter in temperate climates, like Ohio, Illinois, Missouri, etc. It may be -8 in Ohio, but it's -40 in Alaska, where they spend about a month and a half of summer.

>>32561638
It's true that their eggs are delicious. Just ask my dog.

>>32558399
>I'm Canadian and am sorry
jeez that's a surprise

>>32560267
Too humane

Turkey's are wonderful and delicious, they deserve the painlessness of decap

>>32555089
oho big man here

well then its too bad you will never see me do that on my own property then

Where do you find problematic honkers?
I think I've seen them by lakes and grass fields but never near actual houses.

>>32559136
Have 9.5gb of said girl.

https://mega.nz/#!SQd23azC!AJffrSt9fFLVbQd484qy7vrJPlpzSyzehZ47FilAe1Y

(the link expires on Feb 1)
(I didn't compile this)

t. Fap Santa /k/lause

>>32555088
The more you watch, the funnier it gets.

>>32555617
this must be what it feels like to almost have a sense of authority you autistic sperg

>>32559400
Best story ever.

>>32560453
They don't make it in XXXL.

>>32561627
>>32561576
>>32561564
>>32561557
>>32561557
>>32561549
They hang around all year long in big ass packs in SE coastal Virginia, where all that water makes the temperature more like Florida, and theres always a ton of food.

They shit everywhere, and are a protected species in America, in spite of the fact theres no shortage of them and there certainly not fucking migrating anymore.

This thread is great and makes me want to kill Canadian geese.

>>32560453
Amazon clothing model. Try going onto their front page.

I may or may not be right or wrong.

>>32555617
You talk like someone who wasn't smart enough to be a real cop. Which isn't very smart.

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>>32562148

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>>32559824
Remove clown.

>>32554929
firearms?

>>32560305
Cross of Iron?

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>>32555681
top kek

>>32555617

Great, a power-hungry pussy of a park ranger. Is there anything gayer?

>>32555893

How fat/skeleton are you?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxGuNJ-nEYg

Geese are rugged motherfuckers.

>>32565228
why though.... lay your eggs 400 feet from where you decide to wait for them or some shit? Geese must be really fucking stupid.

>>32565246
1: foxes and coyotes will eat any ground-nesting birds

2: only the strong survive to go honk at anon and bully doggos

>>32555054
Fuck I wanna see this vid.

>>32554929
Id use my vepr12 with a bump Fire stock and a 25 round drum

http://www.express.co.uk/news/weird/445650/Puppy-love-Dangerous-dog-is-tamed-after-falling-in-love-with-a-goose

>>32554929

Swift boot to the head does the trick usually.

>Coming back from University
>Walking past canal
>Geese keep making nests right next to path
>Get aggro when anyone comes near, despite the fact it's a pretty busy path
>Dude cycling past
>Goose dropkicks him off his bike and starts pecking him as he's on the floor
>Hop fence, deliver roundhouse

Sad thing is, that only stunned the fucking thing, but it was enough to make it start attacking the dude's bike instead, so I was able to help him up, then we both ran it off and he was able to cycle away.

>>32555089
Defense of self from wildlife is legal even in national parks you twat.

>>32565489
Park rangers are pieces of shit who will still arrest you even if a brown bear attacks you and you kill it with a knife.

>>32565489
Is like that South Park episode

>it's attacking us!

>>32565537
No.

>>32565537

I don't think I'll be arrested by a park ranger any day.

>>32561033
nice dubs Stolas

a shovel and some croutons

>>32554929
STORY TIEM!

>Be like 2009.
>took a new girlfriend to feed the ducks at a lake nearby.
>Bought a loaf of bread and went to the lake.
>Get there and I hand her a few slices of bread and then sit on the chair of a picnic table.
>Shes feeding ducks and having a merry old time when a couple of geese are up to no good, makin' trouble in the neighborhood.
>They waddle over and start snapping at her and the bread she has in her hand, which startles her vagina.
>Shes running around screaming about what to do while geese are in pursuit.
>Tell her don't take shit from no leaf faggot.
>She is no good at bantz and runs up on top the picnic table behind me.
>Geese have tone lock on bag of bread I'm holding.
>Geese sweep wings to high speed profile and commence attack run.
>The first goose gets within arms reach of me and I reach out and smack the dog shit out of his head.
>Slap is so hard I find congratulatory email from Bishop Don "The Magic" Juan who felt the event through pimp force, when I get home.
>*poof* of the tiniest, softest feathers I've ever seen.
>Gooses head swings around 360* like a tether ball as he lets out eject signal.
>"HOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOONK!"
>Goose bretherin see casualty and decide not tempt CROM.
>Geese engage "shit on everything protocol" as smoke screen while they high tail it out of there.
>Ducks slowly waddle back and get fed rest of bread loaf.
>Got BJ in car for stopping Canadian Red Dawn.

>>32555463

AESTHETIC GOOSE

>>32554929
grab head.

twist.

enjoy goose dinner

>>32554929
No idea. Would have to wing it.

>>32567454
>Slap is so hard I find congratulatory email from Bishop Don "The Magic" Juan who felt the event through pimp force, when I get home.
Sides are in orbit, 10/10

>>32559397

I just choked on Sprite. Best answer anon, you beautiful fucker you.
Topkek.

>>32555617

>the parks n rec equivalent of "what the fuck did you just say to me you little bitch"

>>32555836
Forest fires are no jokes and littering in the forest is something only dicks do.

>>32565537
>"What are you gonna do that the bear hasn't already tried, Mister?"

>>32565537
I don't think it's wise to arrest someone who just killed a bear with a knife

Hell yes I would. Catch me stamping a goose's neck with some steel-toed nutstompers if I see that loud ugly shits honking right for me.

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>>32567454
>canadian red dawn
kek

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>Leap at it
>Grab its neck
>Lift up with a mighty war cry
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7oMBq1vkCM
>Fucking BLASTING on nearby speakers
>Swing that goose around and around
>No, I won't give in, I won't give in
>Smash its butt on something with sharp edges
>Repeatedly
>'Til I'm victorious
>SLAM IT DOWN
>CRACK IT OPEN
>Victory

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>>32554929
>Renting old farmhouse outside town, along with couple other guys, both older
>One roommate has teenaged son, wants me to take him hunting
>He hates geese, maybe they bullied him as a child
>Local park is large and has year-round Canada Goose population
>Acquire burlap coffee sack and loaf of bread, proceed to lake at local park
>Throw bread for ducks, know this will attract attention of geese, who shortly begin converging on our position from all over the lake
>Geese bully ducks out of the way and begin their unholy symphony of hissing
>Biggest, meanest goose beats back other geese to get all the bread for himself
>The chosen one has come
>Slowly gain the trust of goose, get him to eat bread from our hands
>Greedy fucker has no fear of us, which will soon be his undoing
>Hold bread high so goose must reach up to grab it from our hands
>When next he stretches out his neck to feast, I strike with the speed of a cobra and the fury of a wolverine
>Grasp the goose firmly by the neck, below his head
>Goose tries to execute aerial escape maneuvers, but kid grabs his body and we stuff him into the sack
>Throw sack over shoulder and nonchalantly stroll out of park whilist tipping our hats to confused yeomen
>Go home and make goose chili

>>32569168

Christ, I'd hate to see what you consider a good deer hunt.

No one thought of antifreeze soaked bread? Thats the easiest way to kill them without being suspicious

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>>32554929
>Strangle Honk
>Watch life drain from Honk eyes
>Have Christmas Goose with little Tim

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>>32569303
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUiPmHA7Xqg

>>32571432
Those fuckers have some razor teeth on them

>>32570951
But makes their meat useless.

Never had a problem with rangers, even when they found me with an out of season bear. Self defence, called it in to the station as soon as I stopped shitting myself. I did not get to keep the pelt.
Also, hockey stick will always works on geese.

I once wrestled/punched a sheep to death. I think if I can remove wool, I can remove honk.

>>32571621
>I once fucked/raped a sheep to death.

fixed that for you ya dirty Welshman

>>32572182
>Rape
>Implying that wooly bastard didn't want it

Subsonic .22lr to the honker head. Shoot, shovel, and shut up.

Canadian geese are worse than gypsies, and worth killing.

Also game wardens are worthless fucks. Take a shot at them if can because it's deep innawoods.

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>>32554929
I would use my newly acquired sjambok.

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>>32554929
With doggo

>>32571511
>catches a deer, a fox, a hawk, etc
>with his bare hands

Fucking Australians, man.

>>32567454
I'm on mobile, can a true hero make a jpg of this exciting tale?

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>>32574313
>filename

I remember luring geese with bread then proceed to drip feed them by throwing tiny piece at a time.

Then after a while I'd throw it amongst them to see them fight for it.

>>32555617

You realize us real cops make fun of you so much behind your back, right? If one of these men here looked you in your watery eyes and said "Pick it up for me, boy." You'd do it. You might say you wouldn't, but you would, servility is in your nature and so is submitting to a stronger male.

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>>32555893
>calls for backup over coals
>pretends his co-workers are his friends.

Farva pls

>>32555958

All I want from life is to see a wild turkey refuse to take shit from a leafgoose and kick the shit out of it.

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>>32574313
>>32575282
less disgusting to look at version

>>32559373

Where I work they like to chill near the pond in front of one of the office buildings. They like to block the road when they see cars coming because they've learned people will slow down for them.

>>32569168
>>32569303
Christ, I'd love to see what you consider a good deer hunt.

>>32565112
>>32559824
>>32559362
fuck off

>>32560934

Ones that chill in the woods get intimidated if you walk up to them while swearing. It's the big suburban motherfuckers that know absolutely no fear.

>>32571511
this guy is an absolute nut and i love it

He's going to die in the most spectacular fashion possible someday, make ol Steve Irwin proud.

I once saw a leafhonk make its nest in one of those little planted island things you see in big mall parking lots. A strip of dirt about eight feet by three feet with an inch or two of concrete border, next to a road and a Chipotle, and this goose just hung out on its nest hissing at cars.

>>32562040

Anywhere with a pond. Clusters of office buildings, for example, or college campuses

>>32571527

I'd never even noticed their teeth until now.

They're just so dumb

>going to community college about 8 years back
>college is built around a pond,it's actually a very nice little area, peaceful and nice
>geese arrive, are moderately cunty as usual, shit everywhere, hissing and all that
>they are pretty to look at on the water, but what obnoxious cunts
>at least one pair build a nest
>not next to the water, not in the dense clusters of weeds near the pond, not in any of the sensible, rational places you might expect a goose to make its home
>fuck no
>they build their nest on top of one of the covered walkways that lead between the buildings of the college
>one day, the babies have hatched and are going off to explore
>straight into a 25 foot drop onto concrete
>cue students clustering around this comic illustration of the unyielding power of gravity and honk stupidity

So at this point myself and other nearby students are viewing this sight of tiny baby goose bodies smacking to earth like big fuzzy hailstones with a mixture of horror and amusement, and some school employee, i shit you not,he actually goes below and starts catching the goose babies and then quickly setting them down to spare them from being injured. I'll never forget his soft "oh my god" right before he caught the first one, it must have hit him how bizarre that shit was.

>mooma goose's cognitive processes do not comprehend the invaluable service this man is rendering to assist her in keeping her brood from being a pile of concussed future scavenger entrees
>takes wing at him aggressively

>the employee pulls off a flawless circular block of the swooping goose, redirecting its assault to the side in way that would make a judo master proud, all while he has a squirming goose baby in hand

I think they called in animal control to move the nest afterwards. It was one of the most surreal things I've ever seen.

>>32555089
>>32555617
>>32555893

These 3 posts prove /k/ is the easiest blue board to bait.

>>32575868
Eh, there's fair chunk of autists here. I think some people like being baited. Rage addiction. Really gets the neurons firing and the blood pumping.

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>>32559400
>l'unch

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>>32554929
>got bullied a lot as a kid
>anger issues, constantly in fights etc
>khmer honk every day on my way to the bus stop
>usually just slap their shit and they fuck off
>must have had their chicks because the whole pack wanted some this morning
>lunch box flail doesn't deter them
>actually a few and their stupid beaks hurt
>tactical retreat
>they've tasted blood
>can hear other kids and parents at the bus stop laughing at me
>crying in anger at this point
>something is going to die
>grab hefty branch
>go back down the street
>alpha honk "HONK AT ME BRO"
>stick across his stupid fucking head
>HEEERHHHONNNKhisssHOOONNEEER
>fucker rolls onto his side sounding like a broken clown car
>spastic wing flapping and head whipping around like a fire hose
>proceed to take out 13 years of pent up rage that fucking goose
>parents at the bus stop tell the school
>my folks don't give a shit
>dad would go out of his way to run the fuckers over
>get suspended
>other kids in the neighborhood never fuck with me again
>geese still did because they're geese and exist to only be fucking dickheads

Something very satisfying, deep down knowing no matter what happens,whatever trials or obstacles you face in life- you can always club it to death with a stick.

>>32575711
>Text and simple colors
>jpg
Stop this

>>32555738
Get out swan we don't like your kind here

Nb4 geese

>>32565181
OP

>>32561094
You fucking rape murdered that goose man.
Like a fucking muzzie

>>32555049
What fucking world do you live in that killing of Canadian is grounds for incarceration. hunting without a license maybe but fuck off your felony bullshit

OP I got you.
Catch it and hold it so that your hands are holding the body over the wings in the folded position with the belly up. Now swing the body from about chest high down towards he ground. As you swing the bird his head will extend out and should hit a hard surface such as a gun stock, concrete, rock, or wood. They normally quite down at this point, but check their eyes for life. If still alive repeat. The nerves will start kicking on death so keep a good grip. They often bleed enough to make the floor of the blind slippery so keep that in mind.
To clean pull the skin apart from the center of the chest exposing the breast. Puncture the membrane at the top and bottom of the breast and step on the birds legs and neck. Reach down put your fingers in to the holes in the membrane and stand up. The Brest and wings should rip free from the body.
Once home take a knife and work along the breast bone to free the meat.

>>32555794
You want BB or BBB