Britbong self defence

A rape alarm is the only legal self defensive tool in this country.

I wonder how the law would respond to a 12" long solid steel rape alarm being used as a club in an emergency?


Ofc the other option is to not get caught. Our police are overstretched, underfunded and too busy trying to win diversity awards than solve crimes.

You can pretty much use anything to protect yourself, provided that it's original use wasn't for protection.

So like a baseball bat beside the bed.

>>32534864

>tactical pen
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00W8FJ3LW/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B00W8FJ3LW&linkCode=as2&tag=stucosuccess&linkId=FSXA3GZUT5SFDAZ4

>safety spray (this contains only water, color dye and menthol)
http://www.armoria.fi/beyond-forces-lupavapaa-turvasumutin-menthol-mk3.html

>self defense umbrella
http://unbreakableumbrella.com/

>Mini Maglite AA (similar to Kubotan)
>a bright flashligt with crowned bezels
>bullet/stab proof vest
>personal alarm with siren
>dog
>steel capped boots
>good physical fitness
>learn how to box and/or wrestle

I know that feel. I'm from Finland. No mace, firearms, tasers, batons etc. allowed. Nothing.

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>>32534921
>Tfw in Britain the person who breaks into your home and gets fucked probably has more rights than you

>>32534960

Hey man. It can't be worse there than it's here. You go to prison or get more penalty than the assailant for self defense 99% of the time. My father's friend got jumped by this guy with a knife. My fathers friend hit him once and the guy fell and hit his head. Unfortunately the guy with the knife died due to this. My father's friend did 4 years in prison for that. Such is life in Finland.

I am trying to find a way to get a green card and to move to Vermont, USA. So far no luck. I've been trying since 2008.

>>32534987
Damn that sucks, Also good luck on getting that green card mate.

>>32534999

Thanks bro. I know I'm going to need it. Also I would warmly recommend moving the fuck out of your country solution to you too.

>>32535017
You're welcome man, I'm joining the army soon so after then I'll probably try move somewhere nice with Guns and shit. All the best!

>>32534864
>how does a Brit like myself protect himself without getting arrested?

Engage in breaking and entering.

>>32534864
Convert to islam

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>>32534864
>the weekly thread in which a brit cries for advice
How much of you fags are here?

Anyway,
>home defense
Tools ie, axe, hammer, shovel, metal pipe, crowbar. Also do not say shit and get a proper lawyer if shit happens. No matter what happens you felt that your life was at risk.

>edc life
pic related plus ifak and /fit/

you are welcome-

>>32534864
Move to Northern Ireland, the only part of the UK where you're allowed to use self defence as justification for having firearms - including handguns. We're allowed handguns on the surrounding islands, but only NI is allowed them for self defence.

>>32534920
Wrong, baseballbat would only be seen as kept there for self defense which isn't allowed since you weren't playing baseball in your room that day.

However, a tool box is okay.

>>32536415
I'm you can get away with possession of baseball bat in the car boot etc if you also have glove and ball with it.

>>32534920
"No officer, I'm just in the midnight baseball league!"

To OP, get an umbrella to use as a weapon and learn bartitsu, the gentelemens martial art.

To every non american wanting to come to the states. If youre not brown, you could instantly get married here. Have an accent? Even better. The women here in the states will literally sleep with you just for the accent. So those really wanting to come here but cant get a green card, just find an average white woman in the state of your choosing and propose.

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This is what you want.
We can't carry any kind of weapon either in francuckistan, and while I was working in private security, I was open carrying my 6D with the leather loop on my belt. Cops frowned at me but they couldn't do shit about it and they knew it. Now I don't work in security anymore but I still carry it inside my car, right under my seat.

>>32534864
Use a bike tire.

>>32536530
>Cops frowned at me
Why the fuck would they even do that?
Don't they have better things to do than fucking "frown" at some schmo doing his fucking job?

>>32534864
How would one of those "Unbreakable Umbrellas" do in the UK?

My sister lives these now and I was thinking of ordering one for her but hearing about all the BS that goes down in that shitty island that seems to only ever get worse stayed my hand at the last minute.

Was looking at the smaller, telescoping one. Problem is of course if she ever had to actually wack someone with it I'm sure it would a point against her.

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http://www.snopes.com/2015/06/22/save-a-life-surrender-your-knife/

>>32536582
Stick with a solid full length umbrella. Umbrellas with a collapsible handle are prone to breakage.

>>32536663
Lmao this description sounds like that "ghost gun" one

>>32536613
What will they use to at breakfast to spread butter on their FUCKING PUSSIES WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK OSTRICH FUCKING ISLAND REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>>32534864
Well in the US any kind of gun would do.

for brits, well, here is what I recommend.

Join a longbow society and start shooting regularly, become proficient at shooting high powered bows (they are wooden and I know they sell them there, I own a Welsh Warbow and it was 600 pounds and It is as fun and lethal to shoot as a gun).

Collect swords and bows which are "artifacts"

and if a Saracen just so happens to break into your home, let some of that Norman blood take over and hack him in half with a Bastard sword that you have on display next to your bed.

as for CCW, learn to fight well. Maybe get a bootknife and learn to stay under the radar with it.

It's so depressing to read how you people can't protect yourselves or even carry pocket knives.

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>>32534905
i lol'd

>>32536663
This is the one I was thinking about:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NH7SRnQy0PY

She had a nice Fox full length stick umbrella but that's wood, and has already broken.

>>32536696
And you'd go to jail for any of that. That place really is pathetic.
Only defence in britain is to be so wealthy that you can hire security to protect you. If you're not, you're fucked if you do and fucked if you don't.

>>32536708
Holy shit, ya that might be better for a woman. Idk to many females who can pull off a full length anyways

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If you have defended yourself successfully and getting caught isn't part of your plan, your only option would be a pretty big car, a patch of soil, and some lime.

>>32536723
Gee, it's almost like leftists politicians don't care about the common man after all.

>>32536822
Works in NY

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sword, knife, hatchet, bow, crossbow, etc.
you can defend your home with "reasonable force". if somebody rushes you with a knife it would probably be ok to kill them, if they ran away then you could take them down but not kill.
it's best not to kill but you can do it anyway. this is a bit of a neckbeardy picture, ignore the gold and the other stuff you can obtain

>>32536415
Just like spacestation 13, a tool box is perfect for fixing things and self defense.

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>>32535878
> > home defense
> Tools ie, axe, hammer, shovel, metal pipe, crowbar.

The fundamental problem with UK self defense laws, is that NOTHING can be kept _specifically_ for self defense purposes.

If some thug broke into OP’s bedroom in the middle of the night and used a shovel to defend himself, the cops are going to bust him for _specifically_ keeping a shovel in his bedroom for self defense.

Using a weapon or tool or whatever to defend yourself, is only legal in the UK (and barely at that...) if you _just happen_ to have it handy at the time you’re attacked….

So I would suggest OP take up an interest in the sport of cricket and decorate each room in his house with fancy cricket bat displays. This way if he needs a weapon to defend himself, that way they are always handy and he can't be accused to keeping a weapon specifically for self defense, as those cricket bats are "art". Unfortunately a side-effect is that they are also handy for anyone breaking in.

> > edc life
> pic related plus ifak and /fit/

Enjoy getting sent to gaol for carrying a weapon, because the Queen’s constabulary are hip to that shit.

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>>32536696
>It's so depressing to read how you people can't protect yourselves or even carry pocket knives.

Indeed, thought I understand some pocket knifes (pic related) that aren't locking blades are legal, though a cop can seize it anyway if he wants to be a dick about it.

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>>32537317

Oh, and get a one-hand-opening thumb stud thingy for the blade;

You can buy a steering wheel lock which just so happens to be the shape and heft of a club.

>>32537294
you can keep a sword in your room fine. if you buy a sword just say it's for decoration, if you have a knife or machete just say that you put it there because you had no space and it looked good, etc

>>32535878
Does the UK have an equivalent of the 5th Amendment here in the US? If so this is the best advice in this thread. Shut the fuck up always, the cops are not there to help you, they are not your friends.

honestly if you kill a burglar in your home or something you might be better off trying to dispose of the body rather than alerting the authorities because you can get a shitty sentence if you do that in this country, I don't know how you would but I'd rather do that than get years in prison.

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Get an assault car

>>32537419
>you can keep a sword in your room fine.

No, it's not fine and a machete is even less fine.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7331099.stm
6 April 2008 01

Ban on samurai swords becomes law

Legislation against selling, making, hiring or importing samurai swords in England and Wales has come into force.

Those breaking the law face six months in jail and a £5,000 fine. Carrying a sword in public is already illegal.
Exemptions will cover swords which are used for re-enactments or antique weapons kept on display by collectors.

Eight years ago a councillor was killed by a man wielding a samurai sword in the office of Cheltenham Liberal Democrat MP Nigel Jones.

Anyone found guilty of importing samurai swords will face up to seven years in prison and an unlimited fine.

>>32538635

http://www.ebay.co.uk/gds/New-UK-Sword-Legislation-FAQ-/10000000006500890/g.html

19 August 2008
As of the 6th April 2008 the Government will be introducing an amendment to the Criminal Justice Act 1988 which will see the addition of some Swords to the Offensive Weapons Order list. This is a list of items prohibited for sale, import, trade of transfer within the UK.

Guide now updated to include details of the 2nd amendment to the CJA 1988 which came into force on the 1st August 2008.

There is much confusion regarding this new legislation so below is a quick reference FAQ detailing how this new legislation affects you.

Questions:
Q: Are all swords now illegal?
A: No. the new legislation only covers some swords with a curved blade over 50cm.

Q: Is it just Samurai Swords that are now banned?
A: No. ANY sword with a curved blade over 50cm is now banned from sale, import, trade or transfer. This includes Persian Talwars, Military Cavalry swords, some Fantasy swords and many other types of sword unless specifically exempted - see below.

Q: Do I have to surrender my Samurai Sword I have at home?
A: No. Ownership of all swords is perfectly legal so you can keep any sword you have already in your possession. You cannot sell it or give it away.

Q: Are all Samurai Swords now banned?
A: Under UK legislation, no. The law only affects some swords over 50cm so although Katana swords are now banned (unless covered by the list of exemptions), most Wakizashi and Tanto swords have blades under 50cm so are unaffected by this legislation

>>32538650
IIRC, this only applies to swords that would be classed as cheapo stainless steel wall hangers.

Practical, functional swords are still legal for sale.

The point of the legislation was originally to blanket ban, but became to eliminate the cheap swords that were being used in crimes and not those bought by martial artists and collectors.

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>>32534864
At home, use whatever you want, provided you use pic related afterwards.

On the street, use whatever you want, make sure you don't look sus to avoid searches, and wear good running shoes.

>>32534864
Just shout, "God save the Queen," really loud anytime someone tries something. The Queen's eternal spirit will protect you.

>>32536490

underrated

>>32541217
In Bradford substitute 'God' for 'Allah'.

>>32534987

Vermont is great, c'mon over.

>>32537294
Then op better just give up is life since it seems he can defend his life at all.

For fucks sake he can just have his tools around because he is a messy fuck or was fixing something earlier.

Or he should just say fuck it all and have whatever he wants near his bed to protect his life. Cocksucker lawmakers can go fuck themselves with a steel rod.

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>>32536696
>600 pounds

Buy a small gun off the street and carry it on you. I'm pretty sure the police have no reason to search you if you're not a criminal even on your rainy socialist island.

Just carry illegally.

Keep a workbench in your room and use anything from that
Hammers, drywall saws, a nail gun might work but you'd have to get fairly close

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>>32543650
If you have to go outside use an x-acto knife used for wood carving, keep some carvings with you in your male purse so police don't get suspicious

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Didn't your fathers teach you anything?
There is a reason we get autistic about pool cues.
Or as above a decent maglit.
Do you enjoy the British tradition of model making? Now you have a reason to keep a scalpel and other tools in your bedroom or office.
Scottish or Scottish interest? Now you can have a sgian dubh (A small knife for the burgers)
Hammer is always a good one, but I'm not sure if i'd want to swing it at some guy just after my telly.

Burgers who haven't lived outside the cities need to understand that the UK isn't big on weapon crime, robbers break into your house sometimes but they wont be armed because they know the public wont be and neither will the general police.

Americans need guns, the british don't (outside of the shitholes like London)

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>>32541256
>it's that fucking easy

A man was jumped in a pub a few years back, he fought back and the pussyhole that jumped him banged his head and died.

The guy got prison, for defending himself.

If someone breaks in to your home, make it the last thing they ever do and look up how to dispose of a body.

the filth are not your friends, tell them nothing.

>>32534864
carry a flick knife or something you soft cunt

as long as your skin is white enough the police won't give a shit

for home defence get a .22 or something

okay nigger

in the street you basically just have to know at anytime who is around you , an have an approximation of who it is; and where to fuck off in case of need. weapons are the last thing you want to ressort to.
watch for shady males beetween 15 and 30, especially in groups. avoid the drunk and loud ones, run from the silent ones with stressed faces if they seems to go for you,run at the slightest doubt. doesn't matter if look like a sperg, because you don't want these kind of encounters.
if you're white and not thrashy looking carry whatever the fuck you want. as long as you don't commit a crime in front of a cop you won't be searched

at home

lock the doors behind you when you get home. srsly.
lock the fucking doors,windows, anything.
in case of break in gather your family in a locked room, call the police and prepare to smash any fucker that bring down the door.
hammers are great for that. just don't go for the heaviest if you have baby hands and a desk job

>>32534921

Are those unbreakable umbrellas legit? the idea of a telescopic baton disguised as an umbrella seems like some James Bond shit, no idea how durable it really is though.

>>32534864
Get swole, learn karate or kung fu

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>>32534864
OH POOR FUCKING BRIT BONG COMPLAINING ABOUT LACK OF SELF DEFENCE TOOLS.

CRY ME A FUCKING RIVER M8 MY COUNTRY LITERALLY OUTLAWS RAPE WHISTLES I CANT EVEN MAKE THIS SHIT UP, OUR LAWS ARE THAT KEKED PIC RELATED.

HOWARD TOOK OUR GUNS OUR POLITICANS TOOK OUR SOULS.

>>32544406

I'm going to order the non-collabsible cheaper version with straight handel.

http://unbreakableumbrella.com/unbreakable-walking-stick-umbrella-standard/

I don't have any personal experience with those. The knock offs are shit but I bet those real ones are good.

>>32544497

I'd order it if it wasn't 3 feet long, I'm sure its hella-sturdy but at that size not only is it annoying to carry but it definitely draws attention unless you're wearing a suit and it matches the ensemble.

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An other Finfag here, I usually carry a Mora or a cheap Chinese folder. I have never been searched by police and if I did, the punishment for would be something like 50€ and the knife confiscated. We don't have Draconian laws like they have in Britain so I think it makes sense to carry at least a knife.

>>32536504

>tfw scouse accent

someone should make a british version of the punisher where he has to abide by all of the british laws
can imagine it being hilarious

>but how does a Brit like myself protect himself without getting arrested?
Are you black? How often do you get stopped and searched by police?

If the answer is 'basically, well... never?' then just carry whatever the fuck you want to carry.

>>32544680
I can imagine it being boring.

He'd be about to deck some prick when he realises it'd be assault and has to stop himself.

>>32534864
Bend down and grab your ankles.

>>32536579
Oi don't joke about that! I lost me mum to a bike tire!

Gloves with knuckle protection may be a decent option for carry, they do have legitimate everyday uses.

>>32544838
It also gives OP an excuse to buy a motorbike.

>>32534864
Convert to islam. It'll make your life easier in about 20 years.

>>32544635

Also you would lose your gun licenses if you have any + get a criminal record.

>>32534864
Just carry and use an illegal weapon anyway, faggot.
Very soon it will be a "hate-crime" to resist a rape or an agression by a shitskin and you'll still respect the laws...

>>32537659
Unless you have a sure way to dispose of the body, the punishment for being caught doing this would be far worse. Although unless you end up in max the prison system in the the UK is a joke.

>>32534987
That would be great I'm a Vermonter and my wife is Finnish. We can always use more non flat landers. We have good gun laws and beautiful mountains.

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>>32549098
tfw currently looking for an apartment in Vermont because I start my new job there in two weeks

>>32534987
Hasnt funland got the best laws for that? 15 years for aggravated murder rather than 30-50 in yankland

>>32534987
Come to New England brother, looking at my SKS as I type.