First innawoods thread of 2017

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>>32509687
I'll contribute to your thread, OP

>>32510048
>stale pasta
WELL FUCK YOU.

>>32509687
I got a weird one that happened to me back in 98 or so

>first year university student home for the end of the summer, 19 years old
>northern Ontario, blackfly country, fuckin forest everywhere
>parents own 250 or so acres, about a third of which is a small lake, leading into larger part of lake and surrounded by crown forest
>neighbours about 2 kilometers either way up the road leading in
>I invite some childhood friends to come up with me
>6 of us there for a solid week of drinking and fucking around

Night one:
>take the boat on the water, small two stroke motorboat and it's pretty slow
>only 4 of us onboard, buddy and his girlfriend were plowing back on the beach or something
>go into the middle of the lake and shut off the engine and just drink beers for an hour or so
>well after dusk when we decide to head back
>engine won't start
>say fuck it and try again 5 minutes later: still nothing
>cell phones don't exist yet so we dig out the emergency kit and find the flare gun
>decide signalling to two friends on shore might be a good way to convince them to get the other boat (which is smaller) and try to tow us back
>friend points flare gun towards the beach and fires
>nothing
>repeat with the other 3 flares in the kit
>nothing
>box appeared new and was sealed so I dunno
>try yelling back to shore
>no response
>decide to swim back, it's pretty far though and only one life preserver
>drop anchor, we'll come back tomorrow with tools
>after about 10 minutes of swimming we all start to get tired, still a few minutes from shore
>I start to feel the weeds around my legs and they get more and more dense
>way more dense than weeds should feel
>I am overcome by the density and my movements become increasingly difficult

Shall I continue? It gets spicier

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>>32510476
yeah.

>>32510476
>I stop completely, I feel suspended in every way
>my thoughts and body are at a standstill
>I'm not sinking even though I'm not working at all
>my friends are around me but they seem fine from what I could see right then and there
>when they realize they have lost sight of me they turn around and they said they saw me slumped forward bobbing up and down
>they obviously freak out and come back and force the buoy underneath me and I remember my head popping out of the water
>all the meantime I see this happening as if I was just sitting on the surface of the water
>I snap to and begin coughing violently and struggle back to shore
>collapse on the beach and have a cigarettes with no sign of the other two outside
>we all decide to play cards and pass out but I'm too rattled
>just lie on the grass under the deck till dawn and pass out

Day 2:
>two other friends show up around 10
>turns out they were doing some weird nature exhibitionist sex thing and slept under a canoe
>they didn't hear us at all or notice us crawling up and out of the water
>I feel better so I spearhead a barbecue
>have good ol' charcoal grill, weiners, beef eggs, the works
>women prep the meat and men drink beer as it should be
>fucking mountain of burgers, 15 or so sausages and a plate of back bacon
>bust out my 250 pack of new redbird matches and douse the grill in lighter fluid
>I shit you not, I stood there and tried to light 60-70 matches in a row to no avail
>we took turns and still nothing happened
>meat starts getting flies on it after 20 minutes or so
>no other lighters, only these fucking matches
>only a small cooler that we brought the meat in, not large enough to hold it all
>we decide to cover it, and drive 20 minutes into town to buy some lighters and ice for the cooler
>me and the three ladies are going to take my pickup and we walk up the hill
>it's no more than 100 feet to the truck from the back porch
>walking
>walking
>walking

>>32510589
>walking for what seems like 5 minutes, the girls right behind me
>too dark to see how far still but I see the silhouette of the truck
>start to do that thing where you stare at the ground for no reason
>space out staring at the dirt and walking for a seemingly huge amount of time
>I'm suddenly shaken by a really strong crosswind which only lasts half a second or so
>short but very fast almost like someone blew a quick gust of air at me but it reeked
>it smelled very sulfurous, really unpleasant to the nostrils and I look up
>I'm in the exact same spot but the ground at my feet is disturbed and all kicked up
I don't remember this part perfectly because it was so quick but
>I look around and there's nobody else, behind me, no house visible, no girls either
>freak the fuck out and spin around and realize I feel stuck again
>I can move but I don't want to
>hear what sounds like trees flexing and breaking beside me
>the whoosh of air of falling branches getting closer
>i feel a tremendous smack on my back and fall to my face
>searing pain across my back and deep into my shoulders

I passed out from blood loss and shock but came to a few hours later in a nearby aboriginal hospital with my friends there. They said i was just in my own world when they saw some type of bear come out of the woods between them and me and they freaked. They yelled for me but they said I was just standing there looking at it and let it hit me.

Get stitched up, felt pretty traumatized throughout the next school year. It got weirder in 2001 though when I went back

>>32510672
>2001, freshly graduated
>got into guns while in school, got my license and started a small collection
>decide to go up to my parent's summer house with my buddy Matt
>been friends for our entire life
>was there a few summers ago with me for the "bear attack"
>bring a couple of rifles for plinking and general protection this time around
>drive up for the weekend and start unboxing as soon as we get there
>I bring my VZ58 and he brings his .44 bolt gun
>bomb up mags and decide to go for a woods walk
>still early enough in the day that we can shoot safely
>walk about 20 minutes to a tiny peninsula (if you can even call it that) and shoot at the beach across the water 200m or so
>after my third round my rifle stops firing
>bolt closed so I rack and go
>no boom
>do the same thing and inspect the last two rounds
>primers struck
>Matt still firing then reloads
>same god damn thing
>4 light strikes in a row off factory ammo
>we start to field strip to check the issues
>the wind stops and we both notice and look up at each other
>I smell that horrible smell again and I start getting rattled
>one of my unfired rounds begins to smolder at my feet
>nope.exe
>I convince Matt that we should go
>we didn't even unpack so we just get the guns and get back to the truck
>high tail it the fuck out of there
on our way back to town provincial police are doing a speed trap and they flag us over
>I know I'm not speeding
>he looks distressed as he walks up
>"son, what the hell are you doing driving this?"

>>32510766
and gestures to the front of my truck
>I don't understand and he asks me to get out
>the whole bumper and left fender are gone
>torn from the chassis with blood all over the grill and engine block
>hair speckled in there
>I have no words
>car is impounded pending forensic testing, parents called, shit ensues, still got to keep funs though

Eventually get the car back after they determine it wasn't human blood or hair but it's scrap. Neither two of us have any clue as to what happened but we didn't get a look at the truck when we got in.

I know this is an /x/ story but still included funs so I thought it was appropriate

Not sure how the attack and weird happenings are related. No idea what got me, why I blanked those times, why that smell kept hitting me, and why nothing was igniting (flares, bbq, guns). Definitely the weirdest shit that's ever happened to me

You guys wanna hear some shit. I got shit not me but grandpa who is half injin. If there is anyone up green text it

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>>32510921
Again not me grandpa
>talking to grandpa about paranormal stuff
>talking about some shit on reddit about stairs showing up in forests
>"the wild is where evil goes to hide anon
>wut?
Begin his story
> camping mid California area desert
>armed but nothing crazy
Because California and he's not /k/razy
>with 2 sons
>make camp with truck and tarp to ground kinda making a tent
>camp cook do all that shit
>night so time for bed
>wind picks up
>wind really picks up
>wind coming from truck so pushing tarp up
>sleeping
>wake up still night
>grandpa is/was pretty much blind then and now
>can't see much but tarp still moving
>doesn't think much of it because wind
>no wind though could ing hear the sand or bushes rattling
>wtf.jpg
Cont?

>>32510969
>glasses on and 1 kid awake
>can se something is moving back and forth at base of tarp causing it to move
>can't see shoes.
>not a cayote not that bold not anything else because nothing that big out there
>guns (shotgun and some plinks) are in the bed of the truck
>thinking about making it into car when it stops.
>silence
This is is a close a words to what he said
>"if you've been camping in the desert you know quite. The kinda quite when you can hear your heart beat when the slightest gust of wind is loud. This this was more than just California desert quite. It's was the presence of evil. Something so vile that God had forgotten about it and left it here"
Probably not how he said it but what ever.
>sit up all night.
>nothing else
>wake up in the morning
>check around tarp
>ground is turned up but no tracks away
What you think /k/ did my grandpa run into the devil

>>32511017
No lol

>>32511017
It was Custer's ghost, and man is he pissed.

>>32511017
I think you need to go back and finish your GED or hopefully ESL.

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>>32511104
It was a green text. All English Grammer disappears when you green text. Just Tard speak.

Nothing really spectacular has ever happened to me, but I suffer from occasional auditory hallucinations, and they make me do stupid shit.

>be me at around 15 or 16
>school was brutal that day
>jump into bed
>start to doze off
>hear what sounds like a distorted version of Day-O the banana boat song
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMigXnXMhQ4
>sounds more or less like the beginning of that video, but more distant
>and he's not saying day-o, but some african voodoo shit
>tell body to bolt up, but muscles ignore me
>the 'music' only ends when I finally drift off to sleep
>from then on randomly hear distorted music before falling asleep to this day (although it's far less common now)

Fast forward a few years, to when I'm 18, living in new house with an annoying security system that loudly announces the back and front doors opening.

>on laptop browsing internet
>creepy female monotone chimes BACK DOOR
>think moms home
>go to the kitchen
>back door is shut and locked

Had another incident, about a year ago.

>now a twenty-something and fully hasguns
>hear distant female voice from hallway
>huh.jpg
>it sounded just like it was coming from someone standing in the hallway
>she/it calls again
>sounds just like my crazy german grandmother
>she lives in another house, but comes to visit sometimes and has a bad habit of using the key we gave her to barge in uninvited
>yell "coming omi"
>actually kind of happy to see her
>there's nobody in the hallway
>door's locked
>actually called her, she was kinda mad that I woke her up from one of her naps

It gets kind of spooky. In fact, typing this up reminded me of an even earlier incident.

>like, eight years old, tops
>innaschoolbus
>about to get up to get off
>gentle female voice whispers to me 'stay on the bus' right in my ear
>being a stupid child, don't question it
>kind of little as a lad, so bus driver didn't notice me staying on
>eventually chime up 'where are we going'
>later get a red ass

>>32511122
I had assumed you were incapable of expressing coherent thoughts.

Now I am convinced that you have yet to develop one.

>>32509687
Anyone got any non-skinwalker spooky ones?

>>32509687
What are some good places to go innawoods and do STALKER challenges near Northern Virginia?