Spic Gangbangers in my driveway

Duct tape knives on the end.

Sharpen it with a power sander from Harbor Freight.

>>32362181
You're dead and you chose to be this way.

Or you wanted to make a thread about your faggy stick but knew you would be laughed at so you made up a story

>>32362181

Superglue crushed glass onto it?

What city OP?

>>32362181
>texas
>nogunz
kys

>>32362196
Edinburg, below the stopper of this cesspool that is the fallurias check point

>>32362181
Half sword techniques would actually be quite dangerous with that

Go buy a bat, then buy a gun

>>32362201
that would be till monday on payday friendo, for now this is the best i got

>>32362181
Buy a used hi-point, faggot.
And this 'sword' you can stick up your anus only.

>>32362181
>>>/asp/2018589

>>32362213
am aware, but my situation of wageslaving, bills, and having to make some other purchase atm doesn't even allow me 20 as folding money much less 150

>>32362181
Scotch tape knives and forks to it.

>>32362223
very informative, but i'm looking for not looking like a faggot as i get my ass killed by some nigger breaking in, if this sword was steel then that would be nice

>>32362200
Damn if you were in Houston I could have helped you but sucks. It's okay. I'm a spic too and the most they'll do is break into your car.

>>32362181
How about just exit out your back door, watch your house from a distance, and if the spics break in call the cops from your hiding spot. Better yet just call the cops now

>>32362237
no car friend, they were going for the big cheese

>>32362188
bump

>>32362241
Call the cops now say you see something suspicious. Keep lights on maybe a tv to have some noise. Most gang bangers don't break in if you're actually home. I've had my house broken into 3 times as a kid.

>>32362188
i wish that was the case, but i'm very serious

>>32362247
Oil up the floor so when they run in they trip everywhere.

this is fucking hilarious

>>32362246
i'm a no life and am doing just that, how ever you don't scope a house with no car at night, unless your figuring out their sleep schedule to break in at night

>>32362247
Then throw a match on the oil! Your house may burn down but that's what insurance is for right?

i was thinking more along the lines of playing some total war and charging with said sword, oil might trip me up too, that'll be bad

>>32362233
>i'm looking for not looking like a faggot as i get my ass killed by some nigger
Then don't fight them with your wooden dildo.

/hema/ is the best 4chan general on bashing people with sword like objects, it would be worth asking them.

>>32362181
Coat your nude body in oil, paint your face with war paint and chase them screaming that they should not have messed with Texas.

>>32362268
Dude. A wooden sword is fucking useless. I'm sorry. How many medieval armies do you know who used wooden swords? I mean good luck but seriously lay off the acid

>>32362274
well no shit, i was thinking of nail batting it and using it as a club

I've got it OP. Get the biggest speaker you have in the house. Put it right up on the front door, and play a video of Pittbulls barking loudly through it.

>>32362273
was gonna do the naked thing, lacking makeup for warpaints though

>>32362278
Oh, right right. See my other idea-
>>32362282

>>32362282
have a lab that i can count on, but I can't just trust an animal to fight for me

>>32362290
Throw a Molotov cocktail at their car, fuck it

>>32362295
was just some spic in a tanktop, took off into an alley as soon as i walked out and spotted him

>>32362297
LOL, threat neutralized I guess.

>>32362301
true but one thing i know about the spics here is that if they smell something nice they'll come back.

>>32362297
Buy a toy gun and spray paint it.

Carry it on you and sit out front for a few days with toy visible in holster.

Threat eliminated.

>>32362297
Bonus points if you also paint the sword and lean it next to the door when you're outside.

>>32362181
all you need is a wooden sword to fuck people up good, dont be a bitch. what is the one thing we say to death? NOT TODAY

>>32362322
yeah, but i don't want to just beat them, i want blood

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>anon forgot to take his dancing lessons

>>32362313
Genius.

>>32362278
Probably your best bet.

That or if you have some good tape then get a few kitchen knives or any blade and tape them horizontally towards the end. Make a pick-like weapon

>>32362284
Gangsters are terrified of naked dudes.

>>32362334
I know, you expose dick and they run, how i got out of being jumped one time

>>32362334
can confirm. get naked and walk out on your front porch and make small talk with him, try to hug him. ask him for a hug

>>32362340
Are you fucking kidding me? Top fucking kek

>>32362342
Rub yourself with shit first.

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>>32362181

I have neighborhood cholos that kick it infront of my yard.

I let them hang out, of course i was chill about it and i told them i used to smoke weed and i was chill about it.

They offer me beers after i come home from work, they offer me weed sometimes (i decline), and they tell me if any weirdos have been on my property and sometimes regulate any crackheads that hang out too long around my area.

I know them, they know me. Sometimes i'll talk sports with them. They respect me, my yard and clean up after themselves. They even have the honor of not smoking infront of my kids when they play outside.

Respect comes both ways, you don't have to be afraid of them, but always stay neutral. If you know how to approach them, you may just earn yourself free bodyguards, of course i am way stronger than all of them combined. Sometimes i let them over the gate and we box.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hB5RmlkDfcg

>>32362225
If you don't have $20 to buy a used Jennings then you should definitely kys.

>>32362355
this. feed them weed and 40s, and you now have a friendly army of gangstas loyal to you

>>32362355
These aren't your friendly neighborhood cholos friendo, break ins and the subsequent murder of homeowner happens all too often to have the luxury of making making friends with every gangfag that scopes out my house in witching hours

>>32362371
I love your use of friendo there, such an under-used word. No country for old men kicks ass

>>32362371
Undress, start blasting narco-corridos, step out with your wooden sword and ask them if they know the riddle of wood.

>>32362357
are Jennings as reliable as hi-points or other decent brands? i don't have the money nor luxary of time to have my hand blown off along with having my home broken into

>>32362371

Then get to know the local clique that hangs out in your neighborhood. But it's good to be friendly with neighbors to know what's the word in the hood.

They'll be your first line of defense if a rival gang treads into the wrong hood. They'll usually give you a heads up. They usually post up outside to hang out, but they're always vigilant of who treads. Be nice to your neighbors too, get to know them and word will usually spread through the grapevine that you're a goodman.

Don't be a Grand Terrino racist ass nigga. That's just more of a reason for them to give you more attention.

Lookout for them, and they will lookout for you.
If you see cops, be like "hey guys hide the beer, there's cops up there". If you have never had any sort of dialogue with them, then you might as well just render yourself a potential target. They guys that hang out aren't friendly, I've seen them chase down rivals but i don't have a problem with their lifestyle so long as it doesn't interfere with mine.

Also, get into Oldies.
Cholos love oldies, they'll leave you alone and automatically assume you're alright. Don't ever let your guard down though, just be cool man. Understand them, i don't know how to explain it anon. But here's a playlist for the next time you have a drive home during a sunny afternoon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3O1RT392fY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exVwi9IhIik
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEqhJqudKOY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHJPb08KI1E

Homeboy pachuco recommended me this song the next time i get under the sheets with the wifey.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmTNKNcGOQU

Best sex ever.

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>>32362438

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>>32362181
you have $20, go to hardware store: pic related

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What if OP joined their gang. That way, he wouldn't have to worry about them anymore, plus he'll finally become a hasguns.

>>32362438
I get what your saying, but my neighboorhood is literally one of the last 'safe' places to live in the city, and even then you'll have some spics riding around in a van to steal the shit off of peoples lawns

as such theres no real gang affiliation in my block or your average roaming cholos, my neighbors aren't shity so its nice.

as for the friendship stuff, my various relatives and school age dealing know what you say is correct, especially when they know you won't report them and when your cool with their weed, which i am partial to myself. but today is not that day, it is time for vigilance. and cool weapon mods

>>32362460
i actually have some pipe, they're rather large though as they were made for chain link fence posts, i was wondering about using small homemade 'fireworks' as the ammunition
(of course within atf regulations :^)...)

>>32362181
>superpoorfag with no gunz

get a hi-point. I know your not too poor for that...

>>32362489

San Antonio?

>>32362494
used jenning is my price range, and i don't want my hand blown off

>>32362501
Edinburg, about 1 hour from the border in bad traffic, you know, in the only non city counties that voted Hillary here in texas

>>32362507

>RGV

you have my sympathies anon. I'm from El Paso but I heard that area was like Mexican South Africa.

>>32362379
many Jennings have to be fiddled with to get them cycling properly. Only get it if you can acquire some polishing compound as well

>>32362181
Buy a baseball bat, hammer some nails into it. Make them go pee pee pants city.

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>>32362438

Cali spic navyfag, can confirm.

We love oldies, gangbanger or not. Just out-peacock them anon, walk the walk and don't act so damn white. You're a bigger target right now than ever before since Trump won.


Be this guy,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LG12nJqfHc

Not this guy,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x47NYUbtYb0

or his guy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ps7xmW-9LXQ

Especially this guy, you will probably get shot

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcLEf9yYdhc

Be nice to them OP, it's your best bet. Stop being such a cuck. Bump some Dr. Dre every now and then. Find a middle point with them. Worst comes to worst, buy a gun you poorfag. It'll save you the humiliation of getting shot by a .22 or a Tec-9.

>>32362503

>jennings

Hi-Point is much better albeit mediocre (but for the price it is flawless). Hell, a baseball bat is better than a fucking jennings which probably WILL blow up in your hands like any other saturday night special.

damn anon why did you wait this long to come to /k/

>>32362486

True, you do get a free strap. By technicality, you would be hasgunz and you wouldn't have to worry about your house.

Blood in blood out nigga R U READY OP RIDE OR DIE NIGGA.

How Mexican are they OP? In my experience very tan Mexicans have always been very friendly to me if you have a happy laid back attitude and like to joke around. Now if they're the white looking Mexicans. Then that's gonna be harder to befriend because those are the shitty ones.

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>>32362521

A few wise anons advised to be a normal human being with them. I'd suggest you listen to them.

I'm going to give you a guide OP. How to befriend beaners- written by a beaner.

Walk over with a 40 and say "Hey man, I was fuckin this girl last night, she had the biggest ass" then say you have grande juevos and tres berigas.

I wouldn't let you down OP, you can do it

>>32362521
as i said earlier these aren't my neighborhood cholos, they don't care man about that shit man.

admit my music is shit cause i got into some shit like this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ScYz9sNaQk

i'm not even a dick or an ass, i'm just a no life wagie, i've never even seen the spic in question outside of today.
but if i know anything about getting broken into is that when one scopes you out you can expect 5 more back at their hangout waiting to bust down your door.

and one thing i can comfirm is the daily murders and home breakins that happen here.

>>32362521
Should he also invest in some Ben Davis to be safe?
>tfw a Cholo caught me off guard when he saw me at work wearing a pair of monkey pants.
He looked so fucking happy.

>>32362564
Also plant like a bunch of persimmon trees and lemon trees in your front yard.
You must become the beaner.

>>32362181
Watch home alone for house defence inspiration using nothing but useful every day objects.
Tis the season after all.

>>32362181
why the fuck do you have a wooden sword for defense, when a machete only costs like 8 bucks.

go to the hardware store and buy a machete, or a hatchet, or a wood cutting axe, or a baseball bat. all of those things are less expensive, better weapons than that autistic wooden sword.

Wtf are they gonna steal if you're a poorfag who can't even afford guns

>>32362545
The one in question are most likely illegal, or an anchor kid, and yes people are typically friendly no matter their origin, but he stopped being friendly the moment he stepped on my property to scope it out, they'll probably shoot my kittens and puppers, if my cop uncle is to believed

Did an old man in a cave give you that sword? Remember anon, it's dangerous to go alone...

>>32362582
the wooden sword

>>32362561
its like you guys think i'm having trump signs or am dissing them in any way, hell i've never seen the guy in question and i probably won't ever, but damn, you guys make sound like i'm one harassing people

>>32362564
haha, i would if i could, but no local cholos to approach here, this man was not from my neighborhood

>>32362561

That's sissy SJW talk. If you act nice to them, they'll still rob and kill you.

>>32362581
yes but it won't be open till tomorrow, and even then payday is a bit away, i was thinking about putting nails in the sword in the mean time, going total war on whoever breaks in

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>>32362521

I'll save that first one to my existing playlist, isa good cruisin' song.

>>32362569
>>32362489

So it's a neutral street that everyone tries to claim/name drop? If you have frequents that you always see, that's "their" block. Even if they might not live there. Just smoke weed with them one day, have some weed x100 times better than yours, be humble, smoke them out and talk about something.

Those weapon mods are gonna get you killed, they know how to fight. I've sparred with these cats, you'll get sucker punched, they hardly carry guns now adays unless they're hunting rivals, specifically rivals. They just jump regular folks or mug em with a knife. They know how to fight clean but you know damn well they will fight dirty. Don't be a edgy wuss, you always gotta stay vigilant. I might be on good terms with them, but they also have their own drama, which i stay out of and they keep me out of it. They never talk about hood politics around me unless i ask, because it's a different vibe around me. They even stop talking in slang.

If you need an improv weapon, get a light bat or a baton, you can buy a real sword for 40 bucks anon c'mon. Knowing these guys, they will laugh at your Legend of Zelda sword and jump you. You need an equalizer, even if it's a very realistic looking C02 gun and a knife. CQC man, did you forget what The Boss taught you or are you making excuses now?

>>32362549

Get on your desktop, dummy.

It's not for ants.

>>32362601
But they will cook you dinner first.

>>32362607
its between a middle school and police station, i've noticed no tagging or any other gang markings, nor do i see any roamers usually(most gangs are on the other side of the middle school)

i know they won't fight fair(which is why i was thinking of nail swording it or lining it with razors and common poisons) and aren't like to bring guns.

a bat and baton will have to wait till the mythical payday
or jenning if i want my hand gone

>>32362569

Wait i totally missed that video. You have good music taste, i've met FlyLo a few times. He lives out here in LA, my friends produce beats.

Yeah man, if you talk Hip-Hop with them you'll win them over. Bump a few beats for them and get a freestyle cypher going.

I gotchu' OP.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Sb624GlJDw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGZy7wPgQWw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JPn2P28D0o&list=PLyVu3D2KGl-mvsI2ugA8RxKfNxlsbCMyC
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=artZ0_4o2nc

>>32362601
Oh boy. Yet another ITG talking shit on /k/.

>>32362637

I'm starting to get a sense you did/said something to piss them off.

>>32362641
i know how to win them bros, its just that i have a suspicion that the one in question is not from my 'hood, nor does he frequent here enough to run into, as i have never seen him.

>>32362648
I bet he built a wall.

>>32362648
idk, they must hate my cats or something, i didn't even have trump signs during the elections. nor do i talk to many people i see on the streets.

Shit its like you guys don't get how crime works

>>32362656
I DO have a shitty wooden fence

>>32362665
>nor do i talk to many people i see on the streets
IDK. I always end up at least nodding to people I bump into on a semi-regular basis and they do the same.

>>32362569

Stop saying spic, and you guys. The only place you'll get away with that is on here, or around your people but it will slip out one day. Start thinking defense in regards of defending your way of life, not out of racial spite

Trust me, i'm a "spic" and i've said "spic" on total accident. Bring a buddy over, drink on the lawn, bump some music and act like a fucking Gangsta. Make it obvious you're comfortable living there. If they see that you're afraid then they'll feed off that. Be as obvious as you can, and let them know your presense, even say wussup to them if they walk by. Not "What's up guys", Yes i mean wussup, like "What up G's". If they approach you, be as beta chill as possible. Don't wuss out, they only scope easy targets.

We don't need signs to spot a closet racist.

In case you don't survive, i dedicate this song to you anon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9IXAJg4Vm0

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>>32362569

Do you live alone?
Why do you suspect you're being targeted.


I agree with >>32362684 ,If you approach them they'll kinda back off. They won't target you if you suspect them of something.

Your best bet is to just be open and comftrable around them, hang out and act like you're a part of the neighborhood. Have a smoke, dress to impress. Wear a Pro Club shirt and Dickies. That last one was a joke, but don't look like a Dale Gribble or a Hank Hill. Actually, anyone on KOTH.

That's what i did to earn these guy's respect, and i have theirs. Be a G, pimp playa'.

>>32362684
quit the projecting anon, you act like i haven't lived in the rgv(96% homogeneous spic) for my entire life and wasn't the one always singled out for being white

You also imply that i don't hangout with some of my wetback friends on the reg, drink, and eat goat

its not the race i hate, its the people

>>32362703
read >>32362704

i don't live alone, nor do think i'm being 'targeted' just that they chose my house, i've NEVER said "i" was being targeted for something i've done

>>32362703
also they'd like me more if did dress like one of them, sterotypes are easy for people to understand, especially if its the only contact you've had with that race

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>>32362684
>Helping my brother put in new flooring in his house.
>He has help, the neighbor, big cholo dude.
>Bro sees him come in and says "It's about time you fat spick!"
>Almost shit my pants until the guy laughs and says "Fuck you, I had to get beer first fucker."
>mfw I was watching a literal redneck slinging racial insults at a man who could throw them back and they did this for hours and laughed.

>>32362712
exactly, race(and race insults) only matters if your a lib

>>32362715
To be fair he did kind of get a worried look when my brother called me 'queer boy' and I had to remind my brother just who was holding the wrecking bar.
He watched us posture, then we laughed it off and I got pizza.
He calls me that all the fucking time, and he knows full well it doesn't do shit to me, because if it did, well, I am the one with the guns.

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>>32362715

If you use racism in a funny way, then yes it's funny. I call my friend a bitch ass nigga and he calls me a mark ass beaner. And make fun of our cultures, but we're 100% bros.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtFb_xem6k8

It loses it's meaning when you throw it around TOO much. If it's playful, and you know they'll be cool with it then it's all good.

>>32362715

I'm a progunz Bernie Sandals lib and it's alright.

SJWs are a totally different species.

You'll be alright OP. Just keep the lights and the TV on, and be ready for anything. Don't be paranoid man.

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>>32362684
>Defend you way of life
>By completely changing how you act and assimilating with the people invading your country

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>>32362489
put a plank up on your door frame to make it harder to kick in. a chain, bolt & door wedge shold help too.
Sounds like you'r planning building a firelance which is 990AD tech. blackpowder and fishing weights.

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>>32362751

That's a political discussion, for a political thread.

We're just people here, anon.
/k/ommandos.

>>32362737
No shit, you think i'm an autist?(i think i'm one, but not the point)
I do happen to dislike them, but its not cause their brown, if it were that simple i wouldn't allow myself to be racist.
its cause of the culture and the lives most lead, its because over long period of time i've lived in my area, and when i've traveled to and lived in other places, i've learned that there really is a difference in the people at a base level, sure it can always be gotten rid of by later cultural imprinting but most do not and will not become aware of this and won't improve themselves or their communities.
i dislike them for many reasons but skin color is the least of them.

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>>32362750

>"Mexican Americans love education, so they go to night school and they take Spanish and get a B"

Oh god my sides...

>>32362751
i've been avoiding getting to that although it is easy, pls don't do it, this /k/

>>32362758
thats what i'm going for friendo, a literal cannon

God, this thread is making me miss my Mexican neighbors.
They let us pic figs, persimmons, sugarcane and pomegranates from the front yard.
He just planted that shit because he liked the looks, just gave it away.
Drank like a fish, didn't give a shit if I climbed the fence into his back yard, his son was a total /v/irgin in the making.
>Was totally losing his shit about this "World of Warcraft" game.

>>32362181
You don't happen to have a mop, a knife, and some duck tape with a bit of rope, do you?

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>>32362810

Same, when i used to live in Fresno my Honduranian neighbors would always invite me to their backyard parties and they'd always have the best food, i used to take hella left overs and beer. I always cam home shitfaced stoopid drunk.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tv54UR8AjKE

I still hear the song ring in my head everytime i eat Central American food.

>>32362181

Spray paint the "blade" silver

Foolproof plan

>>32362848
>tfw they had a whole pig roast, and the only invitation was me crawling over the fence between the properties.
I can see the irony today...

>>32362181
Run outside with wooden sword and a hardon. That way you have two pieces of wood.

>>32362888
going for Dps huh?

>>32362181
Barbwire, glass, nails, pieces of metal.
Attach with glue, yarn or duct tape.
If you're feeling adventurous you could also attach a heavy weight at the tip of the "blade" and use it as a club.

Oh and if you decide to take the route which involves sharp thingies don't forget to cover them with your feces/blood/semen. (Just for shits n giggles.)

>>32362892
Yes. And buff yourself with a selection of barbarian battle-cries.

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>>32362848

This is tropical dancefloor baby making music

>>32362848
Damn this song gives me the Burn Notice vibes..

>>32362259
If they are aware of your sleep schedule, they are aware you do not own a vehicle. Who the Fuck breaks into the home of someone too poor to own even a moped? They don't have Shit worth stealing.

>>32362225
Join Cbp , they pay good

>>32362848

Would you consider El General /k/?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5kvtPrikg4

>>32362928

OP doesn't know how home invasions work, don't bother.

>>32362188
>OP is fag with literal faggot

>>32362187
Horrible freight

>OP got killed because the thread went from home defense to Mexican cooking.

>>32363009
Speaking of which, does anyone have recipes for delish mexican cuisine?

Let's make this thread great again.

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>>32362972

STOLEN VALOR/10, but he makes alright bump'n grind reggae music. His music was never about anything "military", it was just his music persona, just like John Cena didn't actually serve in any Armed Forces.


ALTHOUGH Captain Jack actually served. Now Captain Jack is /k/ommando as fuck.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=boNRVXR7bqg

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Buy Humble Shit Shovel. Turn it into glorious AK for defense of Motherland!
http://www.northeastshooters.com/vbulletin/threads/179192-DIY-Shovel-AK-photo-tsunami-warning!

>>32363031

A shitload.

I gotchu on Mexican, Guatemalan, Cuban, Panamanian and Salvadorian food. I cook often, don't ask.

My waifu loves me dearly.

>>32363046
>I cook often, don't ask
So do I. Relaxes me and allows me to save monies by not paying for meals in restaurants and local greasy spoons and, most important of all, i can serve my kids decent home-cooked meals. But, since I'm eastern yuropoor, I don't have much chance to experience mexican/central american cuisine.

>all these people suggesting anon "culturally enrich" himself to fit in with gangbanger criminal scum to avoid being robbed

Is this fucking /k/?

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>>32363103
Yeahh...
>>32362181
>saying Spic and not Wetback.
I got my eye on you OP

>>32363103

Yes, not /pol/.

We come from all walks of life and cultures, the only thing we have in common is that we're all wardogs.....or wardog enthusiasts (In OP's case)

>>32362181
Call the cops and tell them suspicious people are lurking outside your house. You aren't going to do shit against armed gang bangers with a wooden sword OP.

Then buy a Maverick 88 ASAP.

>>32362181
just grab a kitchen knife instead you fucking retard

>>32362181
get a dremel and a hot glue gun, saw a grove into the edge of the sword, insert hot glue and razorblades

>live in South Texas
>don't own a gun
I bought a handgun within a week of moving to corpus christi, cmon OP

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>>32363031

Fuck it, i'll start. OP is probably dead.

In honor of Fidel Castro FINALLY croaking, let's start with a simple, easy Cuban Recipe!

Here's some Cuban music to groove to while you cook your dish!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpfWQnwfT6w

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WX3c4RzzcH4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KysF3uJulo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yAcHQyCy48

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbo_0R8mpbU

I've actually made Mojo Gallito Pica and shit this shit is fire, the spicier you make it, the better.

This dish is usually served by itself, but my classmate's mom gave me the recipie and told me it's better with Mediteranian rice with light olive oil and lime juice.

Don't forget the black beans! Don't add too much salt, but enough where it tastes flavorful. Do go fucking crazy on the salt trust me.

Then prepare yourself a El Presidente, add sugar to the rim and finish it off with a Orange peel, i prefer lime but a citrisy sunkist misty flavor is better. Best finished off with a nice, falvorous exotic cigar of your choice, and enjoy the sunset. A fat juicy joint is also fine.

You can save some room for Pastelitos, which are little fried hand made cakes filled with meat and potatoes, topped with red salsa, which you can make spicier for the cakes rather than the actual dish.

http://www.tasteofcuba.com/spicymojochicken.html

>>32362187
>buying anything from Shanghai Harbor Freight

>>32363233

Here's the link for the Pastelitos

http://www.tasteofcuba.com/pastelitos.html

These are also fucking great for Christmas time!

>>32363079

Same here, i got sick of eating the same ol' boring food and my friends are pretty diverse, one weird question i always ask is what's a good dish their mom makes, i always get a nice phone call from momma. I even go out of my way to buy MREs from around the world, and trust me....US MREs don't compare to German or English Feild MREs.

If you (OR ANYONE ITT) have any dishes from where you hail, post them. I'm always curious of trying foods from around the world. I'll be sharing more soon. I'm kinda tired but i may make a cuisine thread later today and dump everything i know.

Afterall, good food boosts morale in the battlefield!

>>32363263
>If you have any dishes from where you hail, post them.
Challenge accepted. Crude (but workable) translation of the recipe incoming.

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Carne Al Pastor is a very popular dish in Mexico, not as popular as other ones but it's a flagship dish.

BEFORE YOU COOK: Buy a bottle of cheap Mexican tequila, drink 2 shots.

Music from Mexico while you cook:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqmLPeL8aj4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VpAH2VAfs2A

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4crOGM0LtM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CqNeJLqvL0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sytnvyJysKw

You'll need a grill for this, marinate a pound of pork loin from your local deli (preferably if it's a Mexican deli) in some diced pineapples, Cilantro, yes buy a pineapple and cut it, don't lowball and get canned garbage. Cut an entire onion into sliced rings and prep them for grilling.

I usually marinate the meat a night before, it helps for better flavor. Throw some spices into that bitch, cumin or Chipoltle pepper is good.

Coarsely chop 1 onion half. Coarsely chop 2 pineapple rounds, discarding core; cover and chill remaining pineapple. Place chopped onion and chopped pineapple in blender. Add orange juice and next 7 ingredients; puree marinade until smooth. Place pork in large resealable plastic bag. Add marinade, store overnight and seal bag, releasing excess air.

Remember those left over Pineapples? Grill that shit. Throw it in the mix with the Onions.

Prepare your grill (medium-high heat). Grill remaining pineapple until warm and slightly charred, 4 to 6 minutes per side. Grill pork with some marinade still clinging until slightly charred and cooked through, 2 to 4 minutes per side. Transfer pineapple and pork to work surface; chop pineapple into 1/2-inch cubes, discarding cores. Chop pork. Transfer to platter; toss to combine.

Meanwhile, finely chop remaining onion half and place in medium bowl. Add cilantro; toss to combine. Grill tortillas until warm and slightly charred, about 10 seconds per side.
Add pork-pineapple mixture with onion-cilantro relish, If it tastes like bacon, you didn't screw up.

>>32363404

Welp, that's all from me tonight. I literally watched the sun rise. Maybe I'll post more later when i wake up!

>>32362749
Are you big, Queer Boy?

>>32363446
>>32363404

>>32363404
>>32363446

WAIT ANON!

This literally, seriously needs it's own spotlight, and it's own thread. There's alot of /k/ommando's from around the world, it would be cool to try some new dishes from other parts of the world, since it's the holidays and all!

Would you be willing to start a new cuisine /ck/ thread on /k/ and share and dump all of your international dish recipes there? I screen capped your Cuban recipe!

Make a /ck/ommando recipe international food thread before this thread dies! I'll share a few traditional Canadian dishes too (no moose or syrup eh).

>>32363263

Pašticada (basic, without too much fancy stuff, straight from Dalmatia):

-Take a beef thigh (muscle, position equivalent to ham), specifically the central chunk of it.
-Make small incisions and stuff with garlic, cloves, bacon (technically it's panceta if you can acquire the real deal).
-Marinate overnight in vinegar (regular vinegar made from strong red wine).
-Roast the beef for a bit (time depends on the size of the chunk)
-Stuff it in the oven to slowly cook (temp and duration, again, depends on the size) in <that IDK what it's called in English but it's a dish with a lid but regular, not a pressure cooker>
-Cooking is done with roasted bacon, onions, parsley root, nutmeg, tomato paste (it's better if you have fresh tomatoes (the 'meaty' kind) and slice and dice them), water (as necessary since you don't want the sauce too thick) and a bit of prošek (kind of a dessert wine) (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pro%C5%A1ek) or a bit of red wine (dry).
-When cooking is about half way done, blend the veggies into the sauce
-Cook till done (duh)
-Serve with gnocci (best) or homemade pasta (worst) or those really wide noodles (intermediate pleb level)
-Wash down with large quantities or dry red wine and take a nap afterwards :)

Some variations of the recipe include prunes thrown into the mix when the slow cooking portion begins but that shit is disgusting IMHO. I permabanned wifey from ever doing that shit again.

This is the crude translation from wifey's cookbook since this dish is above my paygrade as far as food preparation goes so YMMV.

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>>32363487

Hey! My gun is from Croatia!

>Springfield XD 45

>>32363512
Cool. Me being barelygunz (and possibly nogunz in the near future cuase brusseles communists) am jelly. Is it any good?

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op that sword isnt going to do shit, you need a gun. dont bring a knife to a gunfight but your bringing a wooden stick.

i dont care how broke you are you need a gat. save up and get yourself a hi point.

grab a second job, work the streets, something mang

>>32363541

It's a good gun, out here it's the cheapest one.

For the price, it compares to a Glock by a tad bit, just a bit heavier. I haven't had any problems with it, it's a good conceal carry gun too. How are the gun laws out there?

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>>32363476

i think Anon went AWOL for the night,

I have a few Russian slav recipies and some from Sweden that i can actually vouch for and say with confidence......you'll like ok you like.

Who will start this food thread?

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>>32363633

Ravioli Ravioli, give me the formuoli

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8B44ubqhi-w

>>32362325
Well then beat them harder pussy

>>32363609
>How are the gun laws out there?
Had to get a note from family doctor that I suffer from nothing that would prevent me from owning a gun, take it to a 'work medicine' doc (they also issue certificates required for certain professions) and do the medical and psych evaluation (to screen out the Rambo wannabees), pay some $$$ (certificate from a work medicine doc, fees for the form and processing), get screened by popo. A bro LEO dropped by to interview me and do a quick canvass amongst my neighbors and didn't use his discretionary right to ban me without explanation and now I have a license to own (not carry) a pistol and official document stating so. There's also specific rules for keeping the weapon (locked container) and transporting it to a shooting range (locked container again and ammo in a separate locked container with a different key, i think).

>>32362355
I understand where you coming from but since I own a house in an upper middle class white neighborhood the thought of cholos standing in my yard doesn't compute.

Also what's the castle law like in that state? Might be a good time to break in an AR.

>>32363103
>>32363156
we're only saying it because OP doesn't own a gun

If he did we'd tell him to remove wetback niggers.

>>32362313
That's not a bad idea. Fake it 'til you make it.

>>32363673

Sounds an awful alot like California, except for the interviews, and the dr's note.

Please tell me you didn't do all that to own a moist nugget.

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>>32362570
Only thing I found on Google for Monkey pants. How did it appease the beaner?

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OP IS DEAD, LET'S GET THIS DAMN INTERNATIONAL WARZONE CUISINE THREAD GOING.

GET BACK IN HERE ANON YOU HAVE IMPORTANT INTEL.

>>32363718
>and now I have a license to own (not carry) a pistol and official document stating so.
There you go.

>>32363720

He was being racist.

Its the baggy looking dress pants (Dickies) that vatos wear.

"riddle of wood", I am going to laugh for a month

>>32362312

That's spics everywhere. They're like rats. They use group tactics and are okay with death knowing at least one of them will get "the cheese" as you put it.

You must have a kitchen knife on you right? Whatever you do, don't let them take you alive. They're a horrible little angry disgusting violent viscous race. Like niggers they'll torture you to death

>>32362355
Bullshit. As a spic living in L.A. Either you have some fake wannabe cholos out there.... or you're one dumb ass vato who's gonna learn the hard way the moment they feel they have the upper hand.

Why are white people always as stupid as you? Same with animals...

>bears/crocodiles/kobras... are just like us. Respect goes both ways... look at me interact with the bear you paranoid red ne...aarrgghhhhh!!!! Help!!!!!

Get a used single barrel break action. Go into debt for it if you must.

Improvised spear with dollar store kitchen knife, stick of any sort, Paracord /duct tape. Your ancestors eradicated giant animals with worse weaons. You can cut cholo

>>32364207
you aint exactly making a good name for yourself there bud.

>>32364564

Most niggers and beaners aren't smart enough to know why they want to move to white neighborhoods.

Or perhaps they don't want to admit it. But even they hate living among themselves.

>>32364524
His ancestors weren't limp wristed faggots posting on north korean great leader appreciation board.

>>32362181
Do you not have any kitchen knives or curtain rods? Anything?

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>>32362282
>Play a video of Pitbull

Mister 305

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>wetback returns to OP's property
>OP comes outside with his wooden sword with nails sticking out of it
>OP is also naked
>"sup holmes, you lost?" -OP in the whitest voice he can muster
>let events unfold
>????
>profit

>>32362181
buy an actual sword

or better yet, buy a Maverick 88, even a poorfag like you should be able to afford one

Here's a novel idea, call the cops and tell them theres a suspicious vehicle scoping out your house.

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>>32362181
Wait, wait, hol' up, bro. So you're telling me that you don't have any guns, baseball bats, knives, golf clubs, long sticks, any other weapons, any heavy objects that you can swing around, but you have a gimpy carved wooden sword? Can't even afford a shitty $10 hatchet or machete and your excuse is that "payday is on Monday"?

What the hell do you spend your money on?

Fuck, you know what? Just wait for the paycheck, spend whatever disposable income you have on getting something that can actually be used as a weapon, and never commit this mistake again.

>>32362363
>supply cholos with 40s and dime bags
>eventually cultivate small group of gang bangers
>supply small group with shitty ass hi points
>"yeah sure its a glock"
>send your force on excursions to cripple existing gangs
>Intergrate or die policy to opposing gang bangers
>eventually cultivate even larger force now camped outside of your house
>add mosins to loadout of small dindu army
>send out excursion forces out on skirmishes into shitty areas to gain more troops and supplies
>create cult ideology amongst troops allowing them to keep slaves/ loot
>pretty much version of early islam with you as messiah figure
>dindus spread your message by the end of a sword
>soldiers breeding with slaves taken from other hoods creates even more soldiers for army
>eventually amass huge army of gangsters to conquer anything you desire, crushing and intergrating smaller tribes as they do so, all armed with hi-points and mosins

been doing stuff guys, tonight the second night, and i've got to be off to work soon. won't be back till later in the nigging hours

>>32362181
Look into polishing the weapon like the natives of polynesia. There isn't a lot of info on the internet about it and it's short notice so good luck faggot.

Now a smart person would just use a sharpened kitchen knife and get to shanking.

Or you could get a mop or broom and secure a knife onto the end of it with a fuck ton of wire and tape to function as a spear. If you have any hallways you could use this as a javelin. Make sure to have two since you'll probably miss.

>>32362313
Ayy this gringo got a gun, better bring a piece of my own.

>>32362274
>Dude. A wooden sword is fucking useless.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miyamoto_Musashi

>>32362187
alternatively: just attack them with a fucking belt sander, or any power tool
>implying they would be dumb enough to hit your house while you're in it

>>32370256
>sword
>not a rowing oar with nails in it
>Miyamoto "Nailbat" Musashi

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>>32362181
>How can i weaponize this?
Apply a healthy does of m-a-n when using it. Cain killed Abel with a rock. Are you man enough to split a wig with a stick?

>>32370430
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPriOQkKd6k

>>32362569
I like your taste in music. If you lived closer I would hang out in your front yard with my AR and I would sell you one of my guns for cheap.

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>>32362438
This dude is literally telling you how to do well in the beginning stages of San Andreas when you're doing it without using cheat codes. Probably your best bet OP Kek

>>32362460
What is this exactly

>>32362438

What's Labador ese?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jHi-8Ykx-8

Retail grocery butcher's translation into american terms:

>>32363487
>Pašticada:
>-Take a beef thigh (muscle, position equivalent to ham), specifically the central chunk of it.

From my experience, this can reference two different cuts that will work interchangably- a chuck tender, also known as a "mock tender" roast, or a top round/inside round/london broil roast

>-Make small incisions and stuff with garlic, cloves, bacon (technically it's panceta if you can acquire the real deal).

Bacon and pancetta will work the same here; pancetta is the same muscle as bacon but it is rolled and dried after it is cured instead of smoked.

>-Marinate overnight in vinegar (regular vinegar made from strong red wine).
>-Roast the beef for a bit (time depends on the size of the chunk)

At 350 degrees F we are talking 20-25 minutes per pound

>-Stuff it in the oven to slowly cook (temp and duration, again, depends on the size) in <that IDK what it's called in English but it's a dish with a lid but regular, not a pressure cooker>

Dutch oven! Not the kind where you fart under the covers, the kind that has a lid and the whole thing is oven safe. Kinda like a crock pot before crock pots existed.

>>32370817
>Dutch oven! Not the kind where you fart under the covers, the kind that has a lid and the whole thing is oven safe. Kinda like a crock pot before crock pots existed.
Technically they are portable campfire ovens you can also use as a cookpot.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8hhRbd41rA

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>>32362181
>All I got is a wooden sword to protect my home.(pic related)

>>32370344
>From 1605 to 1612, he travelled extensively all over Japan in musha shugyō, a warrior pilgrimage during which he honed his skills with duels. He was said to have used bokken or bokuto in actual duels. Most of the engagements from these times did not try to take the opponent's life unless both agreed, but in most duels, it is known that Musashi did not care which weapon his foe used — such was his mastery.

Bruh he accepted open invitations to fights for seven years using only wooden swords against opponents using whatever weapon they chose.

>>32363550
That actually looks alright with those wooden grips

>>32362274
Find metal objects. Make metal weapons!
Save your faggot club for your "parties".

>>32362181
Tape razor blades or bits of obsidian to it

>Op bursts out his front door, wearing nothing but a ski mask
>Holding wooden sword soaked in vodka, and lit ablaze
>"AV NU CHEEKI BREEKI"
>Charges at spics
>Spic tries to run, but his efforts are futile
>None can escape the blyat
>with a mighty swipe he cuts the beans down
>"Cyka Blyat" he mutters, and goes inside, sword still alight

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>>32362181

Nigger, go buy a Baikal MP18. It's like your mom - cheap, available, and bangs reliably. I'd be shocked if you ended up paying more than $120 for one, and 12 gauge shells are available everywhere for next to nothing. Put out a hat and tap dance on the streetcorner until you get the money together if you have to - just do it.

Has OP been raped or killed yet? Most likely scenario is he comes back to his house robbed,the criminals are never caught, and OP's poorfag insurance can't even cover the cost of a hard drive full of anime girls.

>>32362181
How are you that poor dude? It's not like buying a gun is hard.. Here's Mr. Captain hero buying one in Texas: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhW3s7Z6j5o

Tax return is just around the corner. Why not wait?

>>32362585
Holy shit, these are ATF inspired gangs?

>>32362233

Swing and step, don't step and swing. Make your sword be the threat they need to deal with before you step into range. You can always redirect your sword's momentum any time before you step. Once you step, you've committed.

Aim for their head or body, let them defend against an attack before committing to a swing they're not expecting. If they're unarmed, don't be afraid to break arms, wrists and fingers. If they're armed with a firearm, make sure to break those things to disarm them and do it before they're pointing it at you.

It doesn't matter how steel or not your sword is. If it's hard enough, your opponent will break before it does. Wood is fine.

>>32362274

Medieval armies used steel swords because their opponents used steel swords. A wooden sword is perfectly fine as a training weapon and perfectly fine as a weapon.

Stick nails in it cover it in flammable shit light it up when hear them breaking in an charge them also can try using makeshift fire bombs just have water or something nearby when they're gone

>>32362200
Nigger, just buy a fucking high point if you are that poor. I also in live in Edinburg and can afford a good pistol and rifle while going to uni. Shotguns in particular are dirt cheap. You have no excuse to be dirt poor in Texas. If you need a cheap firearm, I can sell you one of my old shotguns for under 200 USD if that is under you budget. Just as long as you aren't a filthy criminal.

>>32362181
put pointy metal things on it
>>32363148
>not all spics are wetbacks
>but all wetbacks are spics

>>32362181
I guess winter break started for kids.

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>>32362355
>moonman pepe
>"spics are okay"

>>32370805
Looks like a Four Winds shotgun

>>32362200
Hey, I live in San Juan and got my house scoped out by some gangbanger friends of a chick I used to date's brother. Nothing ever came of it, but I was armed just in case. Get yourself a cheap shotgun.

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Attach broken glass like so and brandish the weapon of their ancestors upon them.

Call your friends.

Have a couple stay at your house. Go with another friend and buy a cheap ass Mossberg 500. Or even a shitty Hi-Point.

Dress like a Cholo and sit at your window facing them throwing made up gang signs. Scream "CHUPA MIS HUEVOS" as loud as you can.

>>32369324
No that is a horrible idea and won't work.

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>>32378238
>this is actually pretty cool
T. mexican't

>>32364524
i can find long bamboo down the alley, you think that'll work for a good shaft?

>>32366583
tis the third night friendo, i will make a spear in anticipation

>>32368144
Works been slow, bills been high, simple.

>>32376566
>>32374221
Gonna have to go with a Jenning till work picks up you see, upon deeper research it seems like they'll be reliable after breaking it in with the specific p+ type ammo for it

>>32362181

Put a dildo on it desu

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>>32373581

What chemicals do you have?

I would get a nice big kitchen knife, lock everything up nice and tight, make a huge pot of coffee, turn off all the lights, and stay up all night waiting. If you see anybody come in on foot call 911 first then get ready to start cutting a motherfucker if they try to get in. Dont be a pussy. The minute you see the guy's hand get inside of your window or something start slashing with a lot of force like you were trying to cut his arm off. Don't stab if you don't have to because if it gets stuck in a bone then it's going to disarm you if you can't get it back out.

>>32362181
>Hey /k/, got some faggot scoping out my house tonight
>
>All I got is a wooden sword to protect my home.(pic related)
>
>How can i weaponize this? give any and all ideas, very determined to make something.
>
>>i'm in Texas but superpoorfag with no gunz
>>castle law is fun, so make sure your ideas can kill a guy the best
That looks awesome where did you get it?

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>>32362762

yes

>>32362181
Make slamfire shotty for literally 20 bucks

>>32380354
Little cosplay/Armour shop was selling them in Mcallen

>>32380767
I was thinking a firelance, fencepost type pipes laying around, i just need to figureout how make a breech of some kind for non-muzzle loading

>>32362181
sharped it and spray paint it so they think it's real? fuck you can maybe kill one with a hit tot the neck.

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Been putting this together, handle with a lot of duct tape, fire hardened, nailed up pommel to add balance.

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Gotta love nails

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Gonna be good

>>32362181

Wrap sword in aluminum foil. Make it smooth as possible to make it "look" like a real sword.

Make a sign to put on window, "nothing inside is worth your life. I don't dial 911" with a picture of a gun.

>>32382189
are those just duct taped on?

>>32382480
with many a layers added on, stays on well, practiced on a tree

>>32362888
trips of truth this is the way

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Just break their necks.

>>32382582
I've been lurking for years without posting but I just need to tell you that you're fucking retarded.

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>>32362181
I believe this is what you need

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>>32362181
Or maybe this

>>32382163

OP, you're genuinely insane.

Do not acquire gunz pls.

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>>32362181
Make a macuahuitl from it by dremeling a small slit on the edge and epoxying safety razor blades into the slit.

>>32382998
I'm gonna build a forge, make parts for a breech loaded Chinese fire lance

>>32382791
Good that my insanity got you to post, the door to my backhouse if now ajar, i wonder if someone is there? I must investigate this morning

>>32382912
what is this lovely monstrosity?

Wrap with barb wire name it Lucille

>>32362181
If you wrap the blade part with aluminum foil tightly a few times it'll basically work the same as a real sword.

Do you have a gas stove?

Tape up all the windows and doors, open up the gas. Once the niggers with machetes climb through your window, light a match.

Make sure to be naked for extra effect.