Have served circle-jerk

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GMs are shit at maintenence.

ARE YOU A NAVY SEAL

>>32332461
THAT SOME KINDA BOAT??

>>32332361
Thanks for your cervix.

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>>32332503
Actually Navy Marine scout sniper master EOD Ranger.
>I'm crypto.
>>32332504
An Arleigh Burke class Guided Missile Destro- yes a boat.
>>32332505
Id thank my liver more than my cervix.

>>32332547
>one gorilian dollars to build useless Littoral Combat Ships
>navy can't even keep their ARs from rusting
SAVE US TRUMP

>>32332361
What knife is that

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>>32332558
>What is AR?
The bigger waste was on the DDG1000 project, I got to tour it when it was in Norfolk...broke down every time they tried to move it.

Do you have an STD? Every Navy man and woman I've met has or has had one.

>>32332621
No, but I did sleep with a chick I found out had HPV afterwards.

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>>32332361
Post pictures of your Mk18 plz

>>32332361
Is that gun even loaded?

If you're on a ship, are you guarding against rogue dolphin assassins? What are you on the look out for?

>>32332361
Post your shit on /arg/ and watch those shit biscuits burst into treats

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>>32332634
>inb4 duct tape them together for 'banana mags'

>>32332634
Probably "just in case".

>>32332615
>>32332649
>>>>>>>
>>32332599
Answer me you filthy whore

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>>32332663
Knife? You mean my asp?

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> a wild m9 on a shitty dropleg appears!

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Anyone ever been OC sprayed?

Your eyebrows are shit

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>>32332742
Thankfully I fuck chicks with my massive cock and not my eyebrows...
>insert joke about your mom being my 'helmet stowage'

>>32332615
>m16a1
just by looking at this abomination, i suppose when you press the trigger it doesn't play "Fortunate son", right ?

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>>32332361
You have a nice chin.

>>32332361
Kevin Rodriguez, your pictures have been saved and forwarded to the proper authorities. You will be receiving a call from your CO in the next 20 minutes. You are to report back to the armory to turn in your weapons. You have posted pictures that threaten national security. A JAG lawyer will be representing you and will make contact within 24 hours.

Sincerely NSA.

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>>32332804
LOL worked with NSA, trust me 4chan is not a honeypot, no one takes ananomoose seriously.
>me after taco Tuesdays

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>>32332804

>>32332361
They actually gave you an asp and OC?
They just made us do the training for both then never bothered to hand any out.

>>32332804
Also why would you make me a spic?

>>32332825
I think it's weird too, I'm not going to go into melee range when I'm carrying a fucking rifle.

thank you voyuer service

>>32332788
Nope, just tried it out...only shootshows bullets, no music.

nudes?

Post CAC

>>32332361
Thank you for giving away your vessels position.

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>>32332860
Gloves are black, not nude.

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Thank me for my service plz

your shit actually loaded or what

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>>32332863

>>32332547
smack that rifle with some CLP man

>>32332889
Yes, why wouldn't it be?
>M9 in condition 1.
>M16 condition 3.

>>32332804
Lol I work for the NSA, no one gives 2 shits about 4chan. GG on them texts tho.

>>32332902
Not mine, armory is supposed to maintain the weapons. GMs are lazy.

>>32332908
You are not my /k/omrade...

>having a photo shoot in the wind break on watch
Why are you even awake right now? I used to sleep in the pilot house when I had a late topside rover.

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>>32332361
>shove ASP up pooper
>throw jiffy pop in front of radar array to cause UFO sighting on radar
>once the ship goes on alert remove ASP, clean it, and stow it
>pull pants down and knock yourself out
>when the others find you and asked what happened say you saw a blinding light
>and that your butt hurts
>doc will examine you and say you were anally probed
>smirk evilly knowing you caused a UFO sighting and abduction case file
>save report for when you go on History channel for maximum trolling potential.

>>32332708

All the time. I get sympathy burn when I see the stuff.

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>>32332920
OOD is a dumb butter bar and wants 'conditions normal' reports every half hour.

>>32332634
Just general security. I mean it's a pretty big asset you know? DDG's always have just one guy walking around topside with an M16.

The most recent case I can remember of the rover actually being useful was back on the USS Mahan in 2014. Some contractor who had the right clearance to get on base was questioned when he tried to board the ship because it was in the middle of the night. He flipped shit for some reason, managed to take the M9 from one of the quarterdeck watches (a woman, go figure...) and used it to kill the MA (MP) who was present at the scene. After that the rover shot and killed the contractor.

are you happy?

>>32332958
Nope. But I'm pretty Semper fly... for a former muhreen white guy.

>>32332948
Why would a contractor flip his shit enough to kill a soldier?

That's all kinds of fucked up.

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>>32332971
There are no 'former' marines retard.

>>32332981
Your RHIB is seriously lacking some equipment. Like a motor for starters.

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>>32332981
You fucking Jerry's kid. We say former to avoid the term ex-marine.

Am I being trolled. I just ate bait didn't I?

>>32332547
holy fucking shit some FCPOs and navy chiefs don't deserve their anchors right now. who authorized that rust. why is op such a faggot.

>>32332907
U wut

>>32332892 lamination is coming off... Better fix dat

>>32332649
>VFG
>No optic
What manner of asshattery be this`?

>>32332634
>rogue dolphin assassins
Fund it!

>>32332361
>>32332794
>chin you can play tennis on
Mac Tonight spotted

>>32332765
Fucking PASGT, hells yes.

>>32332827
>hurr durr porkay slap me the spic ese?

semblance of legitimacy for the faggotry that is your life, but even a spic knows how to post a goddamm image to an image board

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>got relieved late as galley closed.
>CS buddy cooks me up some eggs and bacon.
>bretty good

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE
>THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE
>THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE
>THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE
>THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE
>THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE
>THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE
>THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE
>THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE
>THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE

>>32333254
Thanks for hot pockets and microwave chicken pot pie.

If there wasn't a shit ton of NEETs wouldn't of had that.

>>32332804
Lol I'm NSA, we dont give a shit about you

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>>32333287
You should be scared of me NSA.

>>32332937
What a fag

The asp and OC is more for pain compliance of a drunk sailor, probably makes more sense to give them to an unarmed person on the quarter deck because I wouldn't want to be getting within grabbing range while having multiple guns strapped to me.

My favorite spots for topside rover were the pilot house to take a piss or use the binoculars to look across the bay and see if anyone was getting laid in the hotel there and the helo control room for naps and staying warm

>>32332907
>>32333287
These guys totally must be NSA since its illegal to pretend you are one.

>>32332816
kek
dirty mexicans

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> tfw brand new Private waiting for reception at my first unit
> No idea what Im doing

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>>32332892
kekekekekek

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>>32333365
You're at least in a room on a bunk. Quit bitching boot.

Every half hour check in is dumb but don't neglect at least one radio check early in the watch.

>topside rover while anchored off of Hong Kong
>really busy bay, a lot of ferrys and fishing boats
>see a small passenger boat comming pretty close to us at a slow speed
>call it in, no reply
>it's coming straight at us
>ask for permission to fire warning shots
(Mile offshore of Hong Kong, probably not a great idea international relations wise)
>no reply
>boat bounces off of us at slow speed
>I run to the quarter deck and ask them if they saw/heard the boat
Oh was that what that noise was?
>I check my radio, it's one channel off
>was sure I was going to get court marshaled for this
>get relieved 15min later
>no one asked me to stick around so I avoid everyone until I get on a boat for shoreleave
>get back to the ship that night, no one says anything except some BM1 bitching about having to repaint a scrape in the paint, he didn't know I was on watch then
Pretty sure the Captain covered it up so no officers would look bad

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>>32333250
Looks smeggin tasty!

>>32332361
Shipmate, what the fuck do you think you're doing posting fucking selfies on watch instead of doing your goddamned job? Where the fuck in your General Orders does it say to take fucking diggit ass pictures of yourself for a goddamned Malaysian origami forum!? What if the terrorists attacked right now! Oh, shit, look out, there's a sni

>>32332547
>>32332461

That rust is how I know you're legit.

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>>32333377
Nice digits!!!!!!

Wew that could've end very very poorly anon. Thank your lucky pepes.

>>32333371
Oh no, believe me I know I have it pretty good right now
They just dont really tell us shit, I only figured out how to get my LES last night, an hour before my platoon Sgt wanted them from everyone for leave papers

Shits a clusterfuck so far

>>32332925
Never change, /k/. Never change.

>>32333347
Not any of them but
>implying it's illegal to claim you're from a generic acronym that no one has proof of what you meant
I'm from the FBI, the Federal Boobie Investigators.

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>intel school

Glad I'm not there anymore

>>32333412
>Claims he was Intel
>Can't link his post

You got diarrhea for brains Son?

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Yo

>>32332978
It doesn't matter why, it matters there was some select fire therapy to calm his tits.

>>32332925
KEK

>>32333455
What am I supposed to be linking? Look at the photo. The grown man in the background is wearing an MLP shirt. Pic was taken at intel school.

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>>32333465
Gorgeous

>>32333365
Where you at faggot

>>32333327
>helo control room
You cray. That would be like insta-mast if you got caught in there. At least in the pilot house you could just say you were taking a piss or using the bridge wings to see out.

I'd pass out on the 25mm control chairs up there all the time, but I'm a light sleeper so every slightest noise woke me up.

>>32333377
lmfao could've been an allahu ahkbar

>>32333377
I literally never did a comms check unless someone told me to.
That said, I don't know what kind of ship you were on, but how hard would it have been to run to the quarterdeck the first time you didn't get a reply. I get not wanting to take your eyes off of it, but if you aren't going to shoot at it without permission, what good does do just watching it run into yall.

And yeah, I was in deck, so you better believe the only reason that BM1 was bitching is because of how much pressure they have to always make the sides look flawless, even on deployment. It's pretty stupid. I remember not even going out on liberty because the captain wanted us to paint the sides, mind you we still had months of deployment left and it was undoubtedly just going to get fucked again.

>bitching about phoning in every 30
lmao you wanna be one of those scrubs snake can just take out?

>>32333492
I don't know. I'm just a little kid playing with his dick when I get nervous.

>>32332937
You have soft looking girl hands seaman.

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>>32333365
Your gunna do allot of motor pool. your hardly ever gunna do your job if your combat arms and your gunna make allot of bad purchase. Your gunna start smoking or dipping. Your gunna drink allot your gunna buy a carn you can't afford your not gunna go to collage after one year and your gunna have like a 70% chance of getting a divorce.

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>>32333926
Who needs a waifu when you got a tankfu?

>>32332361
Careful you don't end up with something classified in your background. They'll execute you

>>32333732
In hong kong?

>>32332361
Hospital side corpsman here. Just doing my 12 hour shift.

>>32334052
It's not impossible, China has their own problem with chink extremists.

>>32333732
If it was going faster I would have fired on it, but it was slow as fuck and I think the person running it fell asleep.

Whole time I was going back and forth between risking a USS Cole 2.0, and starting an international incident by firing on a small passenger ferry full of Chinese civilians because the driver nodded off or was taking a piss.

>>32333744
Was on an Arleigh Burke, on the back missile deck opposite the QD. Didn't take long to get to the QD problem was that the bay was so busy, by the time I deemed it a threat it was already way too close.

Sorry to deck crew but at the time BM1 was bitching I was way too freaked out to give a fuck about some paint.

I work s2 army side, and some of this shit i have to file into peoples records are fucking hilarious.

>e6 arrested at local market for public intoxication and was found punching the meat in the frozen food section

>e5 applying for a TS cant come up with a good enough reason for not paying taxes his whole 9 years of enlistment.

>O2 requests leave to go to thailand to pick up hos wife. Said O2 states he met her online. Said O2 drives a pedo van with curtains in the window.

>e3 has been waiting a year for his TS. We call ccf(dodcaf now) to ask why. Find out he has a warrant for attempted rape from before he enlisted.....2 years prior.

>BN requests online SERE 100 training to be completed before foreign travel(we actually use apacs here). O4 tabbed guy walks in to request approval. I tell him to do the online training and print out cert. He comes back later that day with a copy of his SERE school graduation cert and tells me he doesnt need online training. I submit the packet, it gets kicked back. O4 argues with my OIC and coworker(both female), will only deal with me. Oic tells him to get the fuck out for being unprofessional and not following the rules. O4 pulls me aside next day during my lunch and hands me his online cert since he got in trouble from the incident from BN. I do him a solid since idgaf and want everyone to gtfo base and go on leave. He tells me stories over lunch of his time in somalia during the blackhawk down event. He was an E5 with the rangers. Since he burned bridges with my BN, I had installation command sign his packet off(at the time i had some pull with installation XO, who was an O6 with authority of an O7 which was the requirement for travel to whatever africom country he wanted to go to.

>One holiday bloc leave an WO3 and a E7 requested personal leave to iraq. And were super pissy when i denied them. Place is off limits for personal leave. I still wonder why they wanted to go.

>>32334408
What type of unit?

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>>32334408
Iraq?

>>32333347
Haha, NSA sends their regards

>>32334424
Intel, involved with tradoc and imcom. Any more info and it will be obvious since its the only unit set up this way.

>>32334469
Yes, they were trying to take christmas break in iraq. Apparently before i got to this unit, they were signing foreign travel requests willy nilly. As in, hey i wanna go to north korea, no problem, let me sign here, have fun. The process was, get leave pre approved with destination left blank, then get signed off by S2, then they could fill in the blank and company holds onto it. When i got in i was like wtf why arent we using the actual SoP and using apacs. OIC said go for it, since she didnt even know what apacs was(her specialty was security clearances and opsec). Lmao when i was creating an account for apacs, i had to get our units email onto all the the COM's books(pacom, africom, southcom, etc). When i asked who dealt with the foreign leave shit that involved using a sipr, or getting a foreign travel briefing, they said they sent them to installation security. I found out after ppl got signed off by us they skipped out on that next step since why bother. When i talked to installation security about what was up they were like, oh we didnt know that was happening hurr durrr.

Lmao god this post sucked before. If any of you remember that before u get married youre supposed to get a blood test and med eval and then talk to chaplain to get approved for marriage? And if u came from leave married already u get a forced counseling and all that shit. Well this unit was the first one ive been to where they were like meh congrats on marriage youre good to go, move out of the barracks. This may sound salty but i agree with the forced med eval and counseling. Motherfuckers and their significants should get tested to see if they got diseases and shit. And they should get punished by not being able to leave the barracks for 4 months. that counseling is to educate retards on how to pay bills and support a family.

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>>32334699
amen on that marriage point

>>32332892
>boot camp card
Nope nope nope

>>32333412
Is this goodfellow?

Lol. Shit sucked with the MarDet.

huh, i didnt know squids could use the internet.

>/thread

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Currently hiding from the cold

>>32334408
I don't know what that means but what is liklihood of me getting discharged for lying about asthma and adhd when I commissioned?

>>32335130
*I dont know what s2 means

>>32334408
Tbh that sere 100 training is bullshit if you've been to sere c. We pencil whipped it every year in my old unit. Fuck 350-1

>>32333926
I was about to ask how exactly your building was constructed that lets you view an Abrams from that angle, then I realized what was actually going on.

How often do you have to deal with people doing that to tanks?

>>32335130
Very likely.

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Hey guys, my AK47 is broken, it's not cocking like it's supposed to.

>>32335247
is this real
no troll plz

>>32335265
If it's on your medical records yeah...especially if you have taken ADHD meds within the past year.

>>32335272
>the medical records meme
Do you guys think they pull records from private docs? Why do you think recruiters say the answer to every question they ask is "no"?

>>32334926
Yes. AF side was a ton of weebs, ponyfuckers, chads, and black dudes.

and a ton of hot girls.

>>32332361
>>32332615
is your gun even loaded? my army friend said when he was on watch they gave him an empty mag. shit makes no sense to me but apparently the military cant trust their own soldiers with bullets and just puts up guards for show. also obama is a fucking faggot and gay so im sure he has something to do with it

>>32332904
cuz you work for the most anti-american cucked muslim president in history who wants to see you lose?

>>32335317
>See

>>32332649

>>32335346
If my CO was told to put sailors on watch unloaded he'd say 'fuck you, it's my boat.'

>>32333377
hahahhahaha if you had been USS Cole attacked, your ass would be such grass
>also how dumb are fucking chink boatmen that they crash into military ships

>>32335293
Meme? At least if you are applying for TS/SCI yeah they go through medical records...hell they sent the FBI to talk to my school teachers and neighbors

>>32335317
In afghan on major fobs we were supposed to carry condition 3 or as the army calls it "amber" even though there were tons of TCNs walking around

>>32335353
so is it just an army thing then? he was on a base in germany if that makes any difference. doing guard duty at the gate to his base, he wasnt allowed to have bullets. seems cucked as fuck to me and as a taxpayer it makes me mad

>>32335391
Yes meme you dip. Everyone thinks they're gonna send the NSA to dig through your trash. If you don't say shit, they won't find it. I had a secret which isn't much but never disclosed a broken ankle or 9 stitches in my thumb. My buddy got a TS after having a DUI.

>>32333287
You're NSA? I'm CIA

>>32335392
at least they let you have bullets to rack in if some ANA decides to go isis on you

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>>32335415

He wasnt alone

>>32335421
Yeah I almost blasted a Nigerian guy trying to fix my internet while I was sleeping

>>32332361
>blue utilities to blend in with the ocean when you fall overboard

>>32335406
8 people from the boot camp division my division shared a compartment with got sepped for ADD/ADHD and none of them told anyone before hand.

>>32335377
Dumb enough to run over children in cars all the time.

>>32335451
Changing to type 3s before OCT2017

>>32335415
what a pussy, i'm MIB, get on my level faggots. come back and shitpost when you have G level need to know intel on intergalactic alliances

>>32335434
You're a big guy.

>>32335456
How is it that we had such polarizing experiences. I had multiple guys in my BCT company that were drug addicts, as in heroin, meth and crack. They all made it through.

Hi, im Vladimir

>>32335481
This was during the surge tho

>>32335441
kek, this story sounds entertaining as fuck, can we get a quick green text?

Not gonna lie, but the government isn't telling you the truth about aliens. We have made contact a few times.

>>32332948

They taught me sentries should never be posted in singles. But I guess peace time is different.

>>32332804
lol NSA here also we don't even bother to monitor 4chan haha you guys are all paranoid over nothing, anyway OP with boat did you say you were on again?

>>32335489
Not that great but ok
>6 months into deployment
>on deep nights 2200-1000
>working nearly everyday on some pretty intense missions
>roommate tells me internet isn't working back at chu
>email provider while on shift to fix it
>do late mission
>come back to chu and rack out hard
>always put m9 on bedside table
>fell asleep in full uniform with holster still on
>few hours later hear scratching outside
>afternoon now, can see crouched shadow outside window
>had reports of guys getting raped on base
>throw open door with pistol out
>skinny African guy in polo bent over trying to patch Ethernet cable
>only see dark skinned guy with tool kit fiddling around outside by spot
>weapon about 6 inches from his head
>dude drops all his tools and starts mumbling in Swahili
>see logo on shirt is internet company
>go back to bed and browse 4chan on vpn

The Ethernet cables were inserted into each room through a small hole below the window. I was at the point of chronic fatigue after about two weeks straight of running missions every night.

>>32335519
I was on roving watch, theyou have two sentries at the guardshack at the end of the pier with M9s and the petty officer of the watch is armed with an M9.

>>32333412
AF Security Forces here. Reminds me of some Navy fucker who comes through my gate all the time. Has one pony figurine on his dashboard and like a hat or some shit sitting on top of the drivers seat. It's out where everyone can see and how he looks doesn't make it any better. Balding and chubby

>>32335451
You're right, the navys uniform should be florescent orange coveralls covered with reflective strips. Also, sailors should be required to wear glow belts while topside because the navy isn't already gay enough as it is.
Seriously, you have to be the stupidest fucker in the world to accidentally fall overboard. The only time I've ever seen someone go over it was intentional. It was also at night and he was wearing the blue coveralls that we're required to wear underway, which I'd honestly guess would be even harder to see in the water. Anyway, we found him because we used things like night vision, you know things that will make someone glow regardless of what they're wearing.

>>32332625
I sure hope you don't get cervical cancer faggot

>>32335574
lol

>>32335666
>Seriously, you have to be the stupidest fucker in the world to accidentally fall overboard.
Thus is how I know you didn't serve on carriers. Seriously, that's where they PUT the stupidest fuckers in the world. Funniest damned thing I ever saw was an ABHAA (E-2 airplane handler for you non-Navy guys) walk backwards off an elevator and fall into the ocean when guiding an F/A-18 onto the elevator at night from the hangar bay.

>>32335770
Was he pepperoni?

>>32335779
>pepperoni
?

>>32332708
Yup, had to do it before I could go to BO school for the USCG, shit sucks.

>>32335141
S2 is the intel/personnel security office

As long as you keep with the lie, they arent gonna find shit.

>>32335668
Like 75% of Americans have HPV.. There's like 20 strains or some shit and only like 3 cause cancer.

>>32335857
>Americans
I think that's all people. There's also multiple forms of herpes

>>32335770
Haha nice.
Trust me I know how dumb people are on carriers. I only did one year on the USS Theodore Roosevelt, but that was actually the ship the guy jumped overboard on. I knew him personally too, he was in my division and by no means is he intelligent.

>>32335794
Rest In Pepperoni

>>32335877
I've had genital warts for a few years now.. no idea who I got it from because the past few girls I've been with have been tested and said we were clean. They don't test for any of them except the harmful ones. Lul.. still feel like shit saying I'm clean but if it's not the bad ones I guess it's okay.

>>32335893
Ah, no, he was fine. Helo went and fished him out. Dumbass was back to work before night shift was over.

>>32335887
Heard a story from a Div-O once about a guy who got masted up on the 0-God level up in the island, went down onto the flight deck, still in his whites, got the attention of the lookouts, flipped them the bird, and pencil dived overboard. Helo went and got him, rescue diver had to fight him into the bird, and then the captain masted him again right on the flight deck, dripping wet, and kicked him out.

>>32335404
>Germany
Cuck laws apply to everyone over there.

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>>32333250
>sugars
>14g

>>32335130
NO means new opportunities. Hope you don't have an asthma attack though.

>>32335949
Beautiful. Stories like that just make my day.

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>>32336016
Downside was I eventually realized the Div-O in question was a habitual liar and 90% of the shit out of his mouth was pure bullshit. He was funny as fuck, tho.

It being a Navy thread, have some Muddy Sunday.

>>32336004
childhood asthma, cant be assed to check to see if I was prescribed shit in middle/HS
I know I never used that shit and never got an asthma attack

>>32335949
pretty funny. brightest guy on the ship i'm sure.

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>>32336099
Hmm, I've gotta have some more Navy shit on this phone...

>>32332361
>>32332937
what kind of stock ?

>>32334699
as someone who got married as an 18 y/o E2 while in AIT (take a wild guess how that marriage ended up) I completely agree with your marriage statement.

>>32334699
>>32338190
oh almost forgot, I was in 309th at the time so if you've been in long enough, you'll know we're kin and can pretty much figure out exactly what happened lol

>>32332625
>HPV

Weenie Hut Jr reporting in.

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>>32332361

Currently serving, including homo-erotic picture.

>>32333365
>>32333365
>>32333365

THAT FUCKING PAPER

PRIVATE, DONT MAKE COME DOWN TO THAT FUCKING BUILDING.

>>32333365
>>32338382
This is Ft. Campbell by the way.

gay ass Kentucky/TN

>>32338376
Why?

>>32338478

Because I never knew my dad.

>>32338514
I'm sorry about your dad

I'm an Apache pilot

>>32338677

Eh, don't be. Last I heard, he was being an operator in Africa.

>>32333250
ya'll get three pieces of bacon, wtf army why you so jew.

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>>32338376
Weak. My candy-ass was sweeter than yours all the way back in AIT

>>32338956

I'm also a short motherfucker.

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>>32338979
Sorry?

>>32332615

>M16A1 lower
>Harrington & Richardson

I'm hard as fuck right now

>>32339003

I mean... I'm happy for you?

I've come a long way from 140 pounds, so I'm happy with me.

You do you.

>>32339072
Branch?

>>32339089

Army, my dude.

I like your build. We have similar proportioning, I'm just a smaller human.

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>>32339107
Go to Air Assault. Just do it. You will be happy. MOS?

>>32339173

35F looking to reclass to 13F or 11B.

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>>32339187
No medicine? You should go medical

>>32339206

Honestly, I've been thinking about it. I'm CLS-certified and good enough at it that I've assisted the medics a bit here and there (because S2 hasn't a thing to do).

I've thought it could be cool to do it. I have a secret fascination with it and have more than one IFAK as well as a huge medical kit I take on hikes and hunting trips and whipping it out to help makes me feel good inside.

But really, I just want to be out there in the shit. The war is coming, and as long as I keep 35F as a secondary MOS, I can renew the clearance and still get to see the show.

Two years, for two years I've been fucking this goat.

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>>32339277
I feel you. I do not envy the S2 position but if you want to be in it with the rest of us: go med and be good at it. Lines always need Docs and especially ones who can keep up.

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>>32338812
No you're not, but I am.

>>32339433

I just want to kill the enemy, man.

I'll illustrate life as an S2:

It's basically like being kept in a hole in the ground, covered by a piece of plywood, surrounded by early 2000's computers and pedantic bitches.

A man comes along once every few months, lifts the plywood and says "Hey, y'all wanna deploy and go outside the wire and get that CAB?"

We all scream and resounding yes. He then picks the shittiest choices and lowers the plywood again. Leaving you with thoughts of suicide if you have to listen to PV2 dicksuck prattle about coffeehouse hipster shit for one more minute.

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>>32332361

>>32339504
>wants to kill enemy
>joins as a 35 series
Wew lad

>>32332361
OP you have a side arm!?

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Serving. Image technician with the CAF

>>32339534
You do, I see it!

Here's what you do senpai,

>Throw that goddamn rifle over board.
>Strip fucking naked.
>Side arm in hand.
>Find the highest in command.
>Run up to them, hold them.
>Scream, peanut butter at the top of your lungs.
>Blow your brains out in such away it gets all over them.

Come back here and post results.

>>32333377

Been to the walled city today?

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>>32339486
this is an ah-64 right?
any more pictures like this? I have a HUD fetish

>>32338198
Hahaha i was at an installation worse than that. Which leaves you with 2 more options as to where i was at.

Sucks that ur marriage fucked up though.

I got a buddy from hometown who i got to join but he fucked it all up by marrying the first chick he met at ait. Chick was older than him too so you know she was grabbing the hardest dick she could find. He gave up on going to rasp while at benning and their both at alaska now.

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>>32332361

Every time I see one of these threads its chock full of pogs.

>>32332361
GET BACK TO CHECKING ID CARDS AT THE GATE YOU FUCKING FAGGOT

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>32339187
Bro go 35L when u r able to reup. Just need to be e4(p) have a ts and are willing to have at least 3 years on mew contract

>>32339187
if you're AD that will never, ever, ever happen. The Army spent way to much money on you to ever let you reclass to an MOS that starts with the #1. Literally the only way it will happen is if you join the National Guard when you ETS and there are open slots. Pro tip: all NG Infantry and Arty units in the entire country are at like 120% so good luck.

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>>32339638
Not of the hdu, but plenty of apache pics

>>32339700
Not true. Had a 35P buddy of mine reclass to 11B when his 5 year contract was up. Was an E4

>>32339528
recruiters and MEPS sell that shit like you're going to be James Bond.

t. I fell for that meme

Honestly though, intel is still one of the best ways to get attached/assigned to SF units. Group is the good life for support, even their cooks love their jobs.

>>32339658
Because most weebs who served were pogs. Not everyone falls for the combat arms meme

>>32339700
I'm pretty sure all national guard infantry are like me and they just wanted to kill people and would rather not spend Monday through Friday being a janitor/landscaper just to do so...

>>32339728
I worked for the 160th and all their customers, they all had it hella nice.

>>32339728
Literally Stockholm syndrome the post. Two for three sf units I shared a base with I didn't get along with...

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>>32339715
that'll do

>>32339720
I could see that if he fucked up his credit/got a DUI/did some other retarded shit to fuck his clearance but nothing beyond that. I'd do like the other anon suggested and go for 35L and try to get airborne in your reenlistment contract. By doing that you'll be able to go and do the cool intel shit instead of briefing the BC about the weather and giving security briefings for OCONUS travel.

>>32333465
>not an mh-47
scrub

>>32339735
I don't know how your state is, but AZ's infantry battalion is literally full of guys who are janitors or other types of NEET's Monday-Friday and might as well have gone active so they could be doing something with their lives, relatively speaking.

>>32332993
Not him, but the term is now veteran Marine.

Once a Marine, ALWAYS a Marine.

>>32333085
I like the fact he has railz for days and not a single fucking attachment aside from the grip.

pig disgusting.

>>32339803
Former 158th... Up in Prescott. We might know each other depending on how long you've been in.

>>32339775
Same anon for both, but no, he just re enlisted as a 11b. No derogs or anything on his record. Just went to the office, said he wanted 11b, and he went to benning when it was his time. He said he only showed up for the actual trainings and lived in the normal barracks. Was treated as a careerist. They made him squad leader for the newbies. Seemed pretty chill from what he described.

>>32339882

Tell me a little about you, I'm curious now. :3

I promise I won't name drop.

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>>32339729

Combat arms sucks rotten dick, but that's the whole point of doing it.

>>32333744
>paint
Theres a reason everything needs to be painted, anon. And its not just so it looks like a prim and propper warship, rust is your worst nightmare to get rid of once it takes hold anywhere on a ship.

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>>32339803
>>32339932
Meant for you... I'm drinking

>>32339669

Is it worth it?

>>32339700

It can be done, it's just hard. I have an advantage.

I'm willing to suck a lot of genitals.

>>32339794
>says the guy who's never touched one

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>>32339949
See: Any Russian ship (Looking at you in particular, Kuz)

Weekend warrior 4 lyf

>>32339978
35L, is the best intel job. You get an agent badge, you wear civies, you trick people into stealing secrets and selling them to the "russians," AND you get to deploy with group and enjoy their company. Did i mention you get to travel a shit ton and wear a business casual all the time?

I had a e7 friend who went 35L after her 3 years as a 35F. She rarely wore a uniform and NEVER had a uniformed leadership position the whole 8 years shes been in. They forced her to the tradoc unit after she hit e7 and realized she hasnt served in leadership. She was in group before she came over. When she found out she was a shit leader and was getting serious derogs she tried to transfer to the 109th but real army said nope learn to lead.

>>32340108

I mean, I know about 35L spooks from association, but eh. Maybe.

>>32340145
Well if u wanna see combat within the intel field, other than being a 35m in batt, 35L is gonna be the closest. Plus you get access to more schools and trainings like sere and air assault

>>32333365
20th Kalsu? 502nd Strike Fag here. You're gonna hate this place, senpai :)

>>32339949
Yeah well, maybe shit wouldn't rust so easily if we used decent quality paint.
>muh harmful chemicals

>>32332361
thinking of joining the army, should I do it?

>>32340356
Just don't join combat arms and you're good to go.

>>32340363
what does that mean?

>>32332547
Oh god clean that up

>>32340371
Exactly what it sounds like? Don't choose a combat arms MOS, infantry more specifically, and it'll be worth it.
>results may vary
>ask me how I know

>>32332765
Women say I have fantastic eyebrows

>>32340408
what are some better positions then? can i be a leet hacker(serious)?

>>32340356
Join infantry for be a bitch, really up to you. If you don't go infantry go air force and fully accept your a draft dodger.

>>32340423
Depends on your ASVAB, and more importantly, your GT score. 110 GT score and above, sky is basically the limit. It also depends on your interest.

Listen, I'm just being a butthurt 11Bravo faggot. You wanna do combat arms, do it. It's not always THAT bad, but remember we are currently in "peace time," so if you don't like sitting around, playing fuck fuck games, and dealing with poor leadership, reconsider. Remember even on peace mechanics, cooks, and doctors always have something to do.

>>32340437
lol wut

you just told me NOT to join infantry. what do you mean?

>>32340452
>Listen, I'm just being a butthurt 11Bravo faggot.

what does that mean?

>>32340437
>>32340452
Different anons.

>>32340458
Or instead of for. I'm on a phone, swipe is shit, but better than trying to click each letter.

>>32340474
I'm currently active duty 11B? It has its pros and cons like I was trying to say.

>>32340493
what is 11b? your company? is that what it's called?

>>32340526
11B is Infantry
11C is IDF Infantry....mortar dudes
11A is douchey west pointer infantry

>>32340544
why are they douchey? by the way, if I could have made it into westpoint from an academic perspective, would I also be eligible for a leet hacker position?
I figure a leet hacker job would be the best possible job to get, considering that you are out of combat and the skills transfer over very well into the job market.

>>32340647

POGerator, here.

Are you looking to enlist?

>>32341665
yeah. what is a POGerator?

>>32341673

It's just some wordplay.

Lots of folks want to be/claim to be operators, I'm a POG (Personnel Other than Grunt) so I combined the two for a little joke.

Anywho, man, I know the grunt side and I know the POG side. Ask away.

>>32341747
what do you do?

>>32341787

I'm an Intel guy.

>>32341806
what's that like? I'm assuming that's a non combat role, right? that's kind of what I'm considering.

also what branch?

>>32341824

Depends on the unit. It's combat support.

The three prongs are generally considered to be Combat Arms, Combat Support, and Rear Service/Support.

Look, if you're terrified by the idea of possibly taking contact or hardship, stay out of the Army and Marines.

You're joining an armed force.

You were looking at cyber? 17 series is now open, it's the Army's cyber branch. Should be pretty interesting.

Shoot me straight, man, how smart are you?

>>32341909
>Look, if you're terrified by the idea of possibly taking contact or hardship, stay out of the Army and Marines.

I'm not. I just would rather take a job as a computer cyber kind of thing because I figure the skills would better translate to the job market after I'm done serving.

>how smart are you?

Decently smart I guess. Smart enough to get into college with a 33% acceptance rate. I got a 30* on the ACT, which is in the 90th percentile. Of course you do have to consider that there are plenty of schools in ghetto areas where the education is shit and they get bad scores, which screws up the total average. Still, it's definitely not a bad score.

*I'm not sure how old you are, but the scoring system has changed. A 30 is higher than it used to be.

>>32338376
omg you're perfect, kik?

>>32341966

Haha, goddamn, son. I'm not that fucking old.

Look into cyber, signal (IT side of things), and maybe medical and intel.

You remind me a lot of me.

>>32341972

Thanks, senpai, but nah.

>>32342009
sure thing. thanks for the help, man.

>>32342043

I mean this, bro, thanks for looking into it. A lot of people who could contribute to the Forces pass it up for better paths. We end up with the blowhards, niggers, and dregs.

>That helmet is actually a construction hardhat.
>Your ship is in SRA, otherwise you'd be in your eight point.
>I think I know where you are.

Blue Ridge, Boxer, or Rr? RR bro here, have fun, getting picked for security sucks, but it's better than cranking.

>>32335264

Shine your boots and cut your nails, nigger.

>>32332708
Yes worst experience in my fucking life. Seeing a whole company of big tough infantry marines crying and rolling around on a baseball field whilst I was last in line knowing that was gonna be me in 5 mins was some wild ride

>>32338934
Marine here not even lying we get two. Why most we always get the left over hand me downs from the other branches ;_;

>>32332461
wow clean your fucken rifle i would NJP your ass on the spot

>>32332625
who desnt have that

>>32332547
is this what the navy's rifle looks like? Would not fly in the marines you fag

>>32343132
If you're not getting an omelette or a breakfast burrito you're some kind of faggot.

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USAF tech school instructor here

>>32343246
Wow can I suck you cocks?

>>32343255
No

>>32343259
But you're in the air force, doesn't that make you an honorary faggot

>>32335415
Can I bring some of my friends?

>>32343158
Well it's a shared rifle between the whole crew, but I agree. It is someones job to maintain all the rifles, and that much rust is a failure on that person and their leader for allowing it to happen.
That gun looks like it's seen better days though. Even the receiver looks beat to hell. It might be time to throw it overboard.

>>32343141
Protip: the guys who carry them aren't responsible for maintaining them, and vice versa. Security's weapons look like shit, and at least when I was on the 'Prise anyway, a lot of them were thought to be nonfunctional. Security owns the weapons, and people on Temporary Attached Duty TO Security carry them. The weapons that are actually used by the people who carry them, like Weapons Department's guns for boarding parties, EOD's guns, the Ma Deuces, etc, are GORGEOUS. In some cases, WWII relics that look brand new. Security is full of pissed off MAs that wish they were kicking in doors, and just can't be called on to give a shit.

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I miss living in an irl spurdo comic. I want back ;___;

>>32343370
You know how I know you were on a carrier (aside from you saying it)? Because on small boys the entire crew is considered security.

When I got to my first carrier command I thought having a separate security division which people went TAD to was dumb as shit. Equally dumb was the fact they'd walk around armed while the ship was underway like they were protecting us from ourselves. Or how during an Unrep or any kind of evolution like that, they would form like a perimeter around certain areas blocking people from walking by. The people on that boat were completely delusional on how the rest of the navy actually operates. Fucking carriers man, I feel sorry for sailors who never get to experience what it's like in the real navy.

Just ETSed after 8 years. Feels weird man.

>>32332503
I bet ur a Lance

If you serve in the military for 20 years, you are entitled to a monthly pension, equivalent to 50% of what your average monthly pay was over those 20 years. A person who joins the military at 18 could effectively retire at age 38. For every year after the 20th you spend in the military, your pension entitlement increases by 2.5% of you average salary, until it reached 100% at 40 years.

Is it even possible to serve for 40 years?

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>>32343370
What the fuck Navy, you don't clean your own gats?

>>32343429
>Equally dumb was the fact they'd walk around armed while the ship was underway like they were protecting us from ourselves.
I always felt like that was more about a) enforcing petty bullshit, b) Security's MAs being bored and wanting to be seen doing something, and c) leftover protocol from Vietnam era race riots on carriers. The fucking Security douches would give out "speeding tickets" for people with wrinkled uniforms, unpolished boots, etc; needless to say, Reactor and Engineering fucking DESPISED those guys. It went both ways, since they weren't allowed in our spaces, and that made them all butthurt.

You're right, our security was a fucking joke in more ways than one, and carrier life in general made everyone with a real job hate the Navy.

>>32343477
Sure. Mattis did something like 44 years.
You really gotta be up in the ranks and doing important shit though or they'll probably force you out at 30.

>>32343486
Evidently on "small boys" >>32343429 they do, but on carriers, and probably LHDs, they have a very small group of people whose NEC (MOS) is security forces, and they organize a larger department made up of people temporarily assigned from other departments. The Master at Arms (actual security people) don't give a shit about the popguns they distribute to the rejects that are temporarily assigned to them.

>>32343494
I think security had their evals written based on how many people they caught fucking in the fan rooms and storage spaces.
Whoever sends the most people to mast gets the EP.

I hated those fuckwads...

>>32343512
Well, actually it's still pretty much just the GMs cleaning the guns. I mean unless you wanted to, I'm sure the GMs would let you help clean them.
The entire ship does use them however, and is expected to keep their qualifications up to date. Security watches are stood (in port only) by almost all of the crew, except maybe some of the engineers who stand engineering watches instead.

>>32339486
Fucking bad ass shot. Thanks

>>32343555
Shit. On the carriers, they didn't even arm the quarterdeck. Security was just randomly sprinkled everywhere with M-9s and the occasional M-16, with one or 2 M-60s up on the flight deck. No one else ever touched a gun. We learned they have (or have access to) M203s when Captain Fuckhead decided to mast a guy publicly for DUI, and had him escorted up by 4 guys, 2 with -16s, and 2 with -16s with 203s. However, EVERYTHING looked like shit. When EOD was out, tho, or the Ma Deuces came out, they looked good.

Also saw a triwall (4x5x5 or so cardboard) come in once and sit for a few days in the hangar bay before someone from Supply saw no one was taking custody and decided to see what was in it. Big box full of rusty patina Mossberg 500s with 14" barrels and side folding stocks. Security mobbed it and kept everyone away while they secured their shit.

It felt more like working for a REALLY shitty company than being in the military.

>>32343833
Also, some green texts I have saved.

>onboard aircraft carrier USS Enterprise
>2005, 6, 7, something like that
>stationed in Norfolk, might have been in the shipyards
>anyway
>Navy personnel all over the Hampton Roads area
>>(Norfolk, Virginia Beach, Portsmouth, Newport News, etc)
>racking up DUIs at an insane pace
>Enterprise is, as always, the tip of the spear
>>(at least the guy who did 100+ mph the wrong way down the interstate right into a couple on their way to the hospital wasn't one of our guys
>>hint; mom and dad dead, and the baby that was about to enter the world, didn't)
>Brass is RIPSHIT
>CO gets on the shipwide TV during a safety standdown, calling down fire and brimstone
>next person who gets a DUI, I don't care who, is getting publicly masted (NJPd; military kangaroo court)
>someone gets a DUI within days
>Whoops! He was a Chief! No mast for him!
>wtf.jpg
>week later, an E-3 gets a DUI
>stage is setup in the hangar bay
>"prisoner" escorted in by 4 man Security detail carrying M-16s, 2 with grenade launchers
>>didn't even know Security HAD grenade launchers, did they have to get them from Weapons Department?
>CO goes on like a baptist preacher, asks if sailor has anything to say for himself after he throws max allowable punishment at E-3
>E-3 chooses to remain silent
>CO gets even madder, kicks him out of the Navy
I believe in good order and discipline, and in fucking up the day of people who get DUIs, but when the CO broke his word about holding people responsible regardless of rank, and then turned it into a fucking circus when a lower enlisted guy fucked up soon thereafter, I just lost all respect for him.

>>32343841
Fun story
>up and coming DCmen
>(Damage Controlmen, aka firefighter/half-mechanic)
>went in to HAZMAT to get some snowflake grease for a P-100 portable fire pump for a spot check
>(spot checks are when someone watches you do your maintenance to verify it's being done right)
>HAZMAT didn't have it
>Mr. Just-Got-Capped-For-Being-Awesome (meritoriously promoted by the CO) whines to the HAZMAT Division Officer
>HAZMAT still can't make it magically appear in the Gulf
>Snowflake goes and whines to HIS chain of command that he's going to fail his spot check b/c HAZMAT neglected to bring the grease for his quarterly on cruise
>his bosses whine to their bosses
>those bosses whine to their bosses
>CO and XO are informed that necessary maintenance cannot be performed on a vital piece of Damage Control gear b/c Supply didn't bother to stock the HAZMAT
>shit rolls downhill onto Supply, HARD
>HAZMAT pulls their records to see why something used quarterly isn't stocked
>finds that he's never actually requested that grease before
>that grease that's required for his quarterly maintenance hasn't been requested in the year he's been running it
>in fact, no one has ever asked HAZMAT for it in the 3 years since the new computer went in
>Fuckhead gets uncapped and masted
>goes from wearing E-4 to E-2
>Damage Control blows Supply to have some flown in ASAP as they realize all the P-100s have been out of maintenance for years

>>32343833
>Security mobbed it and kept everyone away while they secured their shit.
To be fair I wouldn't put it past some dumb ass sailor to try and steal one.

We had some tard try to steal a belt of 7.62 rounds from one of the m240s. I have no idea what they wanted ammo for, but I guess they got scared of being caught so they stuffed them in an SCBA storage.

Another time we had a pair of NVGs go missing. Come to find out years later it was one of the BM2s in my division.

Supply guys have easy access to a lot of cool things too. I knew one guy who somehow managed to sneak off two plate carriers.

The most I ever took from the Navy was a couple gas masks and a life ring haha.

>>32341747
Really split between Marines and Army.
I want to do OCS, Marines lets me do PLC aka OCS during SUmmer for college students.
I want to see combat.
I heard officers don't really get to see combat.
If I do army, I'd only want to be Rangers.
Thoughts?

>>32343843
Moral of the story: Learn what you CAN gundeck, and learn to gundeck properly.

>>32343874
>The most I ever took from the Navy was a couple gas masks and a life ring haha.
Lol, hell, I'm still running across old boxes in my basement taped shut with nuclear grade duct tape...

>>32343841
Why the fuck is there so many problems with the military and DUIs, what the fuck.
I love to party as much and even more than the average person, but I have never drank more than a beer and drove, it's just plain stupid/

>>32335415
I am a lake. Stop dropping guns in me.

>>32343894
Actually, now that I think about it, I remember searching for an apartment about a year after EAOS, and I toured thus one place that must have been occupied by sailors stationed in the nearby shipyard; stolen shit EVERYWHERE. Nothing major, but tons of nuke duct tape, paracord, herculite, ammo boxes, etc etc.

Is being a MA in the Navy actually a pretty decent job, or does it make you wanna kill yourself?

I only ask because I actually plan on enlisting soon, and I am stuck between MA or GM.

>>32343843
Haha. Spotchecks are so dumb. You can gundeck the entire maintenance and get 100% on a spotcheck, or you could do everything perfectly and still fail because you got a dickhead khaki testing you.

Seriously, I failed once because I forgot to prove I was qualified. I did everything else 100% right, he asked if I was done and when I said yes he reminded me I never showed him my qual,
>Oh, you're right chief. My apologies, here are my qualifications.
>>Too late, you fail!

It really is a bad system, because when stuff like this happens it completely demotivates sailors and makes them not even want to do the maintenance right to begin with.

>>32343906
Because the military creates massive morale problems for no fucking reason, and it does it in people who are young, dumb, invincible, flush will expendable income, and are disproportionately from the dregs of society. It's pretty much a recipe for causing dumb shit to happen. It's the same reason military people marry stippers/Hooters girls/18 year olds, buy hardtop V6 Mustang automatics at 34% interest, and steal everything that's not (sufficiently) nailed down. They're concentrating the most high risk demographic imaginable into a small geographic area, and putting then with like minded people. Shenanigans ensue.

>>32343843
Fuck, I hated 3M
Less about maintenance, more about having a scapegoat e3 to blame when equipment doesn't work because he used a 6" long #3 Phillipshead when the maintenance sheet clearly called for a 4" long #3 phillipshead

>>32343926
>Is being a MA in the Navy actually a pretty decent job, or does it make you wanna kill yourself?
Every MA I've talked to has said that the first 4-8 years are firm kys territory, where they teach you to handle weapons, kick down doors, mace people, and wrestle suspects, then you spend your first enlistment or two checking IDs on Christmas morning and getting yelled at by E-1's spouses for not showing them respect. After that it can be good, but by then you're a bitter, angry, alcoholic, soulless husk of your former self.

I'd go GM.

>>32343926
One of my best buddies in an MA stationed in Spain right now. He doesn't make it out like it's anything to write home about, but he doesn't seem to hate it either. You can actually get some pretty sick billets as an MA. They can be stationed just about anywhere there is a navy presence, and you have opportunities like riverine squadrons or working with a doggo.

GMs seem like an alright job too, personally though I think MA is more interesting.

>>32343961
Truer words have never been spoken.

>>32343961
Well, it's CLEARLY not due to the fact that the equipment is fucking ancient, way past it's design service life, was last worked on by a drunken meth addicted union shipyard bubba, or was left out in the salt spray by some fuckheaded butterbar. Gotta be that the E-3 didn't get the correct torque due to using a screwdriver that was 2" shorter than required.

>>32343961
I remember being grilled on how I knew the alcohol pads I used were without a doubt the right alcohol pads specified in the MRC.

Like really dude, it's a fucking alcohol pad. It's sole purpose was to kill the germs off a whistle before I blew on it to test the function.

>>32344050
Lmfao. God I hated that shit. Ever get in the argument about whether 5 1 gallon containers is an acceptable substitute for 1 5 gallon container of the same shit?

NEW THREAD
>>32344070
>>32344070
>>32344070

>>32343833
Why did you have those shotguns? Security didnt know about them? What did they do to them? Did they take them for themselves?
So many questions

>>32339658
Gee, it's almost like 75 percent of the military is dedicated to logistics and paperwork instead of combat.

>>32343888

The biggest difference between Army and Marines is the title.

You choose for you. If I was you, I'd go Army 11A, then ABN, then Ranjuh.

>>32343841
>Yeah, what about that chief who got a DUI, fuck boy?

Pussy e3 didn't man up.

>>32345006
>Pussy e3 didn't man up.
Pussy E-3 knew he was fucked either way, and was being shit on by a guy who'd just broken his word, just for the sake of theater. He fucked himself bad, but fuck that CO and his public lies.

>>32340356
Totally do it anon, go 19D, everyone will love you.

>>32343843
Typical action of a newly crow'd nobody. Give them an inch and they take a mile. Sounds like the dicksucker got what was coming to him.

>>32345542

Quit lying to the FNG.