Moonshine Still Defense

>>32251433
I make 'em squeel like a pig.

OINK FOR ME BOY! OINK!

I chain my coonhounds up when I'm brewing but ain't around. I take down my still when I ain't brewing. That's how the revenuers getcha, keep in your still set up when you ain't around. Doesn't take but 40 minutes to take down.

>>32251433
Catahoulas. They also chase the hogs off.

>>32251433
A locked door to the garage, attached to my house.

Home booze making has been quasi-legal since the reagan days.

Keep your trap shut, and if anyone asks about the kettles in your garage, just say their for beer. Fully legal, and odds are they won't know better.

Ask sa/k/uya, it's how he funds all his battle rifles and dressed

If this isn't a reason to build a sten gun in my garage, I don't know what is.

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>>32251433
Mean words and angry looks. If that doesn't work, consider putting holes in them.

Better stay away from Copperhead Road.

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>>32251540
>/muk/ moment

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvaEJzoaYZk

>>32251490
>Catahoulas

Fancy. Also specific.

Tell me how swamp whiskey tastes, anon.

>>32251587
Welp, if you can keep the coons, pigs, and boudreauxs away from your mash tun, it'll drink.

Most folks use a residential water heater rigged to run on propane for a still.

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>>32251670
Literally drinking corn whiskey right now, listening to >>32251568

Your comment makes me happy.

>>32251433
A 270 Winchester and a 12 gauge should do it.

>>32251871
>Wyoming moonshiner

I keep a few trail cameras around mine. One even is cellular so I get a texting the picture if it detects movement. Usually a hollar or rifle shot gets them goin but no one usually fucks with stills around here.

Friendly reminder, guys, the ATF isn't just about taking your guns and shooting your dog. They do have Alcohol in their name, after all. So if you've commented here, make sure to hide your pupper from OP and his revenuer friends.

>>32251871
Would work just as well in every other place. Revenuers probably wear armor, so a high velocity round is prescribed.

>>32251908
Everything posted on this site is satire.

I DRINK IT BEFORE THEY CAN

GET FUCKED

A long hike, a few box canyons and goat trails, some cholla cactus, also mountain lions and skinwalkers.

>>32251923
Of course Mr AFT man

>>32251515

>quasi legal

FUCK NO.

This is America, EVERYTHING is illegal

The land we live on doesn't even belong to us!

Our existence is unlawful.

>>32251939
>Skinwalker Whiskey
I wouldn't worry about it™

Anyones whos a real shiner knows not to fuck with the ATF.

Its not that their scary or anything, its just that murder of a federal agent will turn a podunk nothing investigation for new feds to a big fucking deal. Write off the still, price of doing business.

Local cops simply dont give a fuck.

Most are going legit anyways. They lossened up regulations a fuckton due to hipsters wanting muh craft beer so its 1000% more accessible for mom and pop brewers.

>>32251968
The cavemen living here before Europeans don't count. Not our fault they were still relying on stone tools and never got around to inventing the wheel.

>>32251433
Guess where I brew.
>Hillbilly walking stick
>Everyone already brewed anyway and now coal is dead to top it off.

>>32251970
G E N I U S

>>32252010
Penn?

>>32252024
Close, right mountain range, just poorer, unemployed and fatter.

>>32252005
Actually, Neanderthals make up a decent portion of Eurasian DNA.

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>>32252005

>no taxes
>men hunt all day
>fuck all night
>women do all the work

We literally colonized paradise and turned it into hell.

>>32251970
..... downloading the trademark paperwork right now.


Now to fire up photoshop and come up with a label...

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>>32252085
but.. thats wrong. muh whiteness

>>32252085
>Effeminate no-guns teetotalers who ate all the damn horses

Fuck'em just like commies. If red make DEAD.

>>32251670
>cajun bro
so atchafalya basin area i assume?

Stovetop ain't just for stuffin' boys....

Elecric stove top and I'll leave it at that

>>32252168
Actually not in the boot, but close enough to have swamps. I'll leave it at that

>>32252203
>>Actually not in the boot, but close enough to have swamps.

>implying alabama or mississippi
reeeeeeeeeeee

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>>32252085
>muh indigenous peoples

https://youtu.be/H1y_0NfhF9c

>>32251515
No it's 100% illegal and you will be fined heavily out go to federal prison. However if you don't sell it and keep your mouth shut your operation won't even be on the federales' radar.

>>32252228
>be me
>be Injun
>alcohol thread
>lurk mode engaged.

Native here. Can confirm sjw shilling for whats left of red peeples on Uni campus. Its pretty annoying.

Also Id defend muh whiskey by hiding it better. I feel the moment ya waste somebody over moonshine the Ol' ATF gets a collective hardon and dusts off their MP5s and head to your house for Operation Swisscheese The Doggo.

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>>32251970
>>32252019

Thoughts?

That's a black oak leaf btw.

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>>32252324
Not today

>>32252461
I like it, needs a goatman silhouette printed on reverse so that you can see it through the bottle when you pull it off the shelf

>>32252461
put the "dont worry about it" slogan on the cap and id drink it

>>32252482
Can't believe I didn't think about that.

I'm probably never going to get to the point of being able to distribute though.

>>32252515
but if I do I'll be sure to take both these ideas under advisement.

>>32252550
i'm a bartender with a heavy interest in going into producing liquor if you want to collab

>>32252564
*shrug* I'll think on it.

Wary of collabing with folks over the internet on anything to be honest.

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>>32252461

Whats the flavor profile?

>>32252639
Tastes like what paint thinner smells like to be honest.

>>32252461
Alcoholic is spelled wrong in warning.

>>32252860
huh, indeed it is. Thanks for the heads up.

Ausfag. Keep it under your hat, and your sweet. It's only a tax issue here, treated as undeclared income. Only person I've heard of getting pinged had turned his whole house into a factory, on welfare n bought a shiny new car. *Redflag*

I run mine in my shed, n the only folk who know about it are those who are interested in helping me deal with the end product. When you factor in time n effort, it's pretty much cheaper to just buy the shit.

I like to play round with the still (something gets changed pretty much every run), it's the making of things that I find rewarding. Delicious booze is a added bonus.

My favorites so far is malted wheat n pear (ya gotta use the brown ones, Green ones lack flavor), and Thai Green curry (ginger, lemongrass, chilli, Kaffir lime leaf n coriander, either in a gin head or steeped). Can't buy that shit, n it's really damn good.

If it tastes like paint thinner, your doing it wrong. To fast, poor temp stability, or being greedy with ur cuts. The whole point of distillation is to remove the nasty.

>>32251433
I brew it on my cousins property. He's a cop so at least revunuers stay away. No thieves yet though

>>32252663

Perfect

>>32251433
Muh daddy's repeater

>>32251433
popcorn was a /k/ommando

>>32252085
>all those warring states
>wide tracts of mostly unspoiled wilderness

You're right anon. This is /k/'s wet dream.

>>32252036
West Virginia

So I actually make moonshine. Grew up doing it. I give it to friends, never sell, they all love it and tell me I should actually sell it.

How does one go about becoming a legal distillery?

>>32251473
You got a prudy mouth there boy

>>32252085
>*dies of smallpox*

>>32254147
Winner winner, chicken dinner.

>>32251433
>tfw I'm related to him

Distantly tho

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>>32252085
We colonized a paradise from a bunch of useless indigents and pushed humanity to limits of space.

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>>32251433
>>32254705

I've got a fun story about ol' Popcorn.

My friend's dad was a district attorney in western NC and one time he had a case before him against Popcorn. Being a decent enough guy and realizing that Popcorn wasn't a threat to anyone he recommended the absolute minimum sentence he possibly could and let Popcorn off with community service. The next day he opened his front door in the morning and found out that during the night someone had left him a case of 20 jars of the best moonshine on earth on his front doorstep.

>>32252085
>picture is clearly from a history book

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>>32252085

>Why isn't this in history books

Because most of those tribes didn't exist at the same time.

For example the Apache and Seminoles didn't come into being until the 1700s while the Maya had mostly ceased to exist before Europeans even arrived.

>>32254782
Does he still have any? You would have to keep one jar full just for prominence.

>>32254803

He might, I don't know. I know that my friend brought a jar of it to a party back when I was in highschool and it was amazing.

>>32254835
Any idea what the proof was? I'd imagine it had some serious kick.

>>32251433
My deadly dancing skills, hayseed.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=u48KRr-TVqM

>>32252482
Don't do this. Cool as it is, be prepared for the legal buttfucking from Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey

>>32254845

Very high it had at least as much kick as Bacardi 151; but it was way smoother. If it had been made legally it probably would have sold for over $50 a jar.

>>32251473
Sho does have a pertty mouth....

>>32254991
Bullshit, for cheap alcohol made from feed corn? Maybe 15 at most, only dudebros from up north spend that money, like women buying cheap trinkets because it's so rustic.

>>32252461
How the fuck did you misspell "firearms"!!

>>32252085
Real shitty rez pic homo

>>32255215
The last batch of shine I made was 152, the mash was mostly corn with a bit of barley. Given Popcorn's reputation I honestly wouldn't be surprised if it sold for $50 a jar. The man was one of the last masters of his art.

>>32251968
You can buy alot of things in the good ole USA.

I'm guessing it's going to be critters getting into your mash and shit unless you're competing for the illegal market and getting into feuds with other distillers

So, .22s and traps

>>32254180
Depends on your local laws.

Generally IIRC you need to have an approved recipe (more or less just to make sure you aren't putting hazarous shit in it) from whatever local controlling agency deals with it, you have to have an inspectable facility, and a testable water source.

that's about it iirc.

>>32254933
Fireball has a trademark on goatman? Or just having stuff on the reverse side of the label?

>>32255452
Because I literally put that together in about five minutes and I've grown accustomed to there being a red squiggle if I misspell shit to the point where it's degraded my typing skills.

Meanwhile photoshop doesn't have spellcheck in the text editor.

>>32252264

It's only illegal to distill spirits if you sell. I could make enough moonshine to strip the paint off my house in full view of the feds and they wouldn't say shit.

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>>32252482
>>32254933
>>32257311
Why not put a deerman or a mooseman on the label instead of a goatman?

>>32254991
>>32255215

>Bullshit, for cheap alcohol made from feed corn?

A: This was Popcorn Sutton, the man's shine was legendary.

B: Your reading comprehension needs some work I specifically said " IF it had been made legally" it would go for $50 a jar. That was a testament to its quality, not its actual price hence the qualifier "IF".

I think his standard shine went for around $15 a jar; but you might pay more because people horded it so you might get it from a middle man.

>>32252264
Which is why they sell this shit at Bevmo?
http://www.bevmo.com/mr-beer-premium-keg-brewing-kit--each-.html
Fucking idiot.

>>32252482
There already is a deerman silhouette.

>>32257526
Distilled spirits are highly regulated

Fermented spirits however are less so.

there's a difference.

>>32257526

That's for beer, there are different laws for hard liquor.

>be advised it is illegal to distill alcohol without having either a "distilled spirits permit" or a "federal fuel alcohol permit." It does not matter if the alcohol is for personal use only, not for sale, etc.

http://www.clawhammersupply.com/blogs/moonshine-still-blog/7155304-is-making-moonshine-legal

>>32251433
>What does /k/ use to defend the still from shine-thieves and revenuers?
Clearly I'm too much of a city slicker, but what?

>>32252461
Make the "I wouldn't worry about it" a bit more legible.

>>32257634
Going to be moving that to the cap if I get around to this.

>>32257574
it goes on to say that the latter permit is free and they've never heard of anyone being denied that permit.

Saying "It's against the law" is akin to saying "DRIVING IN THIS COUNTRY IS 100% AGAINST THE LAW. PERIOD." when you can get a driver's license and drive legally.

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>>32257574
>>32257698

It then goes on to say that the fuel permit is only for making fuel and that if the feds find you making hooch you're fucked.

So in other words the fuel permit would let you buy or construct a still and use it to make ethanol; but if the feds caught you making shine they'd fuck you.

Now I think you could probably get away with it so long as you made some fuel from time to time to cover your tracks; but its still against the law. That said everything is legal when there aren't any cops around.