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Since these can potentially help with survival, and living more efficiently is a weapon all to itself, figure this is a great place to post them and spread them around.
As a fellow autist, living innawoods, I often have to make do with less and ive engineered a number of lifehacks in my time. Ill start with a few:
Girls' Elastic Hairbands
If you're a girl keep em, if you're a guy and you see one on the ground - pick it up.
> its an unusually good rubber band that keeps working even after the elastic inside snaps
> can be used for binding cords together and other uses as long as its not heavy duty stuff.
> girls take good care of their hair, a normal rubber band is probably dirtier than a disposed elastic hair band.
Need to walk through the Rain but your umbrellas have a tendency to not cover you well enough?
> Look for a Patio Umbrella on sale, online for cheap, next to a dumpster or at a yard sale.
> Used ones are often $20 or less while a good normal umbrella may be over $30.
> People will gawk only because its a genius move they didn't think of.
> Heavy duty construction and weight means its unlikely to blow away or invert
> If angled to the side its even effective against windy rain while other umbrellas and even ponchos arent.
Big Eater?
> Get a frozen pizza and cut it into 4 pieces.
> Put the pieces together like sandwiches on the cardboard it came on, one sandwich at a time or the other one on top of it too.
> Put it in the microwave - 3:30 for one or 6:30 for both. Toppings that fell off of it when assembling it can be scooped up against the side of the pizza sandwich.
> The cheese and sauce melts together nicely along with the toppings, and it gets evenly cooked to proper temperature because the stuff literally starts boiling out the sides.
> You dont need an oven, but you should not use a toaster oven and you should not get the rising crust varieties.
> Tastes pretty damn good, for 1/3 the price of normal lunch.
>>
What kind of an autistic asshole goes around with a fucking patio umbrella are you shitting me?
>>
>picking up hairbands off the ground
>carrying a fucking beach umbrella in public
>microwave pizza
Hello /r9k/
>>
>>32212199
>someone from /k/ carrying around a patio umbrella
do you want to look like Mary Poppins' neckbeard cousin
>>
>>32212199
I laughed. Good effort.
>>
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>>32212199
>Big Eater?
>> Get a frozen pizza and cut it into 4 pieces.
>> Put the pieces together like sandwiches on the cardboard it came on, one sandwich at a time or the other one on top of it too.
>> Put it in the microwave - 3:30 for one or 6:30 for both. Toppings that fell off of it when assembling it can be scooped up against the side of the pizza sandwich.
>> The cheese and sauce melts together nicely along with the toppings, and it gets evenly cooked to proper temperature because the stuff literally starts boiling out the sides.
>> You dont need an oven, but you should not use a toaster oven and you should not get the rising crust varieties.
>> Tastes pretty damn good, for 1/3 the price of normal lunch.
>>
Save time in the morning by shitting while you shower and stamping it down the plughole.
>>
>>32212374
WAFFLE STOMP!
>>
Looking to save time? Cook dinner for two, so you don't have to cook tomorrow.
>>
>>32212199
I've used a hair tie to bind a broken tie rod end on 4 wheeler innawoods.
>>
Layer the toilet water with a few toilet paper sheets before you poop to prevent a heavy turd splashing water on your nuts
>>
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>>32212199
Kerosene
>In jungle survival situations/or when you know you have any sort of stomach worms.
>One shot glass of kerosene will kill most if not all the worms in your system.Drink a second shot if unsure.(It's completely safe, I did it when I was only 5, so if a kid can do it, a /k/ommando can too)
>A shot of kerosene also can cure constipation.
>>
>>32212374
>WAFFLE STOMP!
I used to do this every morning in highschool.
>>
>>32212199
This was a clever website but at one point the entire thing became Apple fanboydom cheering one neat thing you could do with an Apple product.
>>
>>32212761
Underrated post.
>>
>>32212761
this
>>
>>32212761
better yet
>mix gelatin in your toilet water to make it thicker and splash resistent
>>
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>>32214051
I put pectin in the toilets at work on Mondays, they will never catch me. I am, the Bathroom Jeller.
>>
>>32214051
I heard someone did this, turned water to gelatin, someone shit in it. Laughs were had.
>>
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>>32213172
>>32212761
Its called "making a nest" and I've been doing it all my life.
When I was little I saw some scary movie where monsters come out of the toilet -- I think I was like 5. Because of that, I started taking shits China style and squatted on the toilet (so I could make sure toilet monsters didn't emerge from the drain and disembowel me (this is what I actually believed would happen)).
Anyway, I eventually realized toilet monsters weren't after me...
But for some reason I couldn't drop the squat.
I quickly realized, that if you squat on the pot, the poop will always "plop". This inevitably led to laying a few pieces of paper to save my anus from the splash.
Basically been wasting toilet paper on nests for 20 years now.
>>
>>32212848
You can also eat a cigarette. Tobacco kills worms.
>>
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>>32214378
Randomly made me think of that feel when you drop such a glorious turd that there's no splash because it broke the surface of the water before you cut it off
>>
>>32214425
How about turds so long that they coil in the bowl and smear your cheek when they finally drop loose
>>
>>32214546
I once took a shit in this stall
So thick and so firm it stood tall
It balanced on end
That shit did not bend
But fell over and scraped my left ball
>>
>>32212691
pretty good, i was nervous as hell driving my stratus home after doing that and i used sisal rope.
>>32214378
bet you don't have hemorrhoids though
>>
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>>32214395
Shit, never knew that.
Thanks tobacco kommando!
>>
>>32214711
Fun fact, hemroid refers to the blood pressure pressure safety cuff in everyone's asshole. The painful rectal condition is actually called "piles" in medical literature.
>>
>>32212761
You can't go too thick with the TP, otherwise you get left with a shit barge.
>>
>>32212320
Or you could just FUCKING COOK.
>>
>>32214795
Gee gosh. That was a fun fact
>>
>>32214378
.....is that Jenna Marbles?
>>
>>32214395
You need a couple cigs or a cigars worth.
>>
>>32214889
women are funny
get over it
>>
>>32212881
hahaha, me too.
>>
>>32212199
>Need to walk through the Rain but your umbrellas have a tendency to not cover you well enough?
Lose weight.
Life fucking eviscerated.
>>
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> be me
> go to /k/
> shitty /b/ tier thread talking about literal poop
> mfw
>>
>>32215068
>talking about literal poop
You haven't been on /k/ much have you?
We're all about shits and how to take them. Like that time a guy blasted poo all over a bear.
>>
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>>32214378
ive always called it a "turd raft"
>>
>>32215068
Im sorry mom
>>
>>32212374
I think one of my roommates does this. The bathroom smells like sewage all the time. Shower drains aren't fucking designed for that. Theres probably months worth of old shit rotting in the pipes.
>>
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>>32214565
>>
>>32215488
pour some bleach down there and plunge it
>>
>>32214395
Would gutting dip spit work?
>>
>>32212848
Now that's what I call a lyfe hacc.
>>
ULTIMATE LIFEHACK: KYS
Thread posts: 46
Thread images: 12
Thread images: 12