cryptid/skinwalker thread.

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>>31956041

>go innawoods
>see thing that doesn't exist
K

>>31956061
if you saw it, how would you react and would you be armed? you would have a pretty violent reaction if you didn't think it was real in the first place.

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>>31956069
If I saw it, I would promise myself to stop drinking.

Now fuck of back to where you came from, you infantile shit.

>>31956041
>what do?
Try to speak to it/him/her, pull out whatever weapon I have just for safety. Later inform the police of a creepy mutant lurking around the woods naked.

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What do?

Get naked and rape it, of course.

>>31956041
*teleports behind it*
rape tiem kid

>>31956095
I love that face

>>31956082
Why so serious?

>>31956069
AM I BEING DETAINED?

AM I BEING DETAINED?

AM I BEING DETAINED?

AM I BEING DETAINED?

>>31956106
why so childish?

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>>31956115

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I'm gonna rip up some cryptids with this dick.

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>>31956041

If I squint while completely wasted I could convince myself it looks like Renamon.

>innawoods
>Innatank
>Proceed to crush trees under my threads
>Weird squeaking
>I stop and look out the hatch
>mfw when there is gooey green shit on the tracks
>I walk back and find some really stinky mashed up thing
>/K/ommandos confirmed for faggots, skin walkers are easy to kill if you really want to.

>>31956041
>>31956044
Sauce

>>31956041
>>31956044

This shit looks like it's from the movie "Thale"

I recommend trying to catch and fuck one

>>31956082
>go back to where you came from
>implying skinwalker threads aren't /k/ as fuck
>being a namefag

No, U

>>31956692
>just the upper body is crashed so fucked it anyway

>>31956098
I mean, I really, really, really like that face.

>>31956699
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EoTjAuDOPqs

>>31956883
Ha totally fucking called it. 10/10 would fuck

Unsheath my katana

>>31956701
The man among men, I salute you sir. Should I get the vibrator egg as well?

No gun. Ill just whip my dick out and start jerking off. When it sees how horny I am, its primal urges wI'll take over and we'll fuck for hours. She'll become my forest fuck buddy anytime I go back.

>>31956041
>>31956044
I'd try to fuck it desu

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>>31956041

>>31956082
Its boardculture so shut the fuck up faggot

>>31956115
Why are you on 4chan then?

>>31956041
I wouldn't worry about it

>>31958016
Best cryptid story ive ever read. Most believable too.

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>>31959666
SATAN TRIPS CONFIRM CRIPTIDS ARE REAL!!!

>>31956041
>innawoods
>see this

>what do?


I carry my glock and AR when innawoods.

>safety off
>bring AR to low ready

>THEN and only then would I try to talk to it

If it does anything funny then its mag dumping time

Best old west skinwalker/cannibal movie?

Ravenous

First rate music score too.

>>31959716
Why the silver knight armor?

>>31956041
I invite it to fuck.

>>31959814
This is true.

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>>31956680
OMG NEED HER ON MY NOW!!!

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Ask Huma why she's lewding it up innawoods.

>>31959749
>>31958016
>he doesn't want to be ambushed and raped by dozens of horny, pent-up beastwomen

can we get a writefag in here

>>31960411
Oh god I'm a writer but I dunno if I can write about a horny beast-woman gangbang
Never even written a sex scene before desu famalam

>>31960411
Look we can write that, but let's be serious that's the sort of shit that writes itself. I will give it a go though

>>31960722
He got dubs so I'm leaving it up to him
But my cock is v ready for it

>>31960411
>>31959749
>be me, be horny beast woman
>so long since we got some horn dog that Sheila and Lauren turned lez last week
>stalking thought the forest as normal when hear crunching
>ohfuckaskinwalker.jpg

>run away, end up running into a tree

>get up, hear skinwalker coming in my direction
>stay cool you got this girl
>see its eating a fucking granola bar, skinwalkers don't eat granola bars, phew
>plus it's a dude

>stay cool you got this girl
>begin mating ritual
>initiate seduction dance.gif

>he pulls out his broomstick and points it at me, not the good one either

Guys what did I do wrong?

>seduction dance part 2.gif
>shit that didn't work either
>potential horn dog now spouting shit about seals and gorillas
>back off slowly.png
>he doesn't follow to my love nest.
>it's fine I will be back

How's that? Should I do it from the dudes side?

>>31960785
Holy shit. Give it a few months then try again

>>31956041
I've been into guns for about 10 years. I have only no frills guns, no fancy optics nor other accessories. Me and my darling wife carry them with us always while visiting innawoods.

My wife likes to carry Colt 6920 and 1911 (they are really made for her).

I carry a Finn nugget and a Glock 20. The Finn has been pretty outstanding hunting rifle.

>not one single "I wouldn't worry about it"

fuck all of you

>>31960808
Because if you've seen the movie you would know that you really don't need to worry about it. They are peaceful forest creatures just trying to save their child and the true monsters are people.

>>31956041
Watched one of those Narnia movies last night. Couldn't stop thinking about all the unique hunting opportunities.

>>31960945
>unique hunting opportunity
>as in being hunted by massive fucking wolves that have military and counter-Intel training

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Depends. if i'm just out hunting i'll likely have my flintlock, which means i'll probably have brought my '51 navy.

otherwise i usually just have my twelve gauge

What's the proper weapon for fighting a Wendigo? I would assume I would need a large caliber. Does blessing the ammunition with holy water and/or runes help?

>>31960998
I would assume all of your rounds were blessed when you go Xeno hunting.

>>31960998
Flare gun

>>31961016
Weak
>>31960998
Flamethrower

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>>31960998
physically, the Wendigo will be in the flesh of a man. it'll be easy to kill the body. white ash is the historical weapon against them.

The threat is the power it can have over the mind. even if you destroy it's physical form. it will tempt your thoughts and try to turn you into the next host.


So really, the best weapon against the Wendigo is eating a balanced and filling breakfast to keep your tummy from feeling the rumblies when Mr. Wendigo senpai offers you a man ass steak.

>>31960998
iirc there was something about coating your bullets with white ash for native american wendigo/skinwalker, but i cant' find any info on it.

i have an old 1800s belgian double barrel shotfun that needs handloaded blackpowder shot, so i've been tossing about the idea of making iron/silver/rocksalt shot packed with white ash as a general address "fuck whom/whatever it may concern" anti-creepy shit in the night load. juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust in case.

>>31961037
ok so im not /too/ crazy then. there WAS something about white ash being used for skin walkers. I do wonder where i heard it first though.

>>31956041
>that face
hold on, I'm drawing that

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>>31958016
What happened to his planned trip back back in May or June? I remember seeing a thread about in on /x/ but never heard of a follow up? Guess he fooled me..

>>31956041
Incapacitate and fuck it.

>>31961084
I remember that as well, what did happen with it?

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>>31961070

>>31961230
That's not very fuckable senpai

>>31961244
you don't have the will

>>31959046
>Its boardculture

Yes, it's /x/ board culture, so fuck off back to your teenage storytelling board and stop trying to force your stale memes here.

I can't fucking be in these threads anymore. Used to love them. I moved from an apartment in a small city to 62 acres in the middle of the forest a half mile from my nearest neighbor, who I don't know. Shit gets spooky out in those woods at night.

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>>31961230
dumpy grills usually fugg the best. that's why god invented the light switch.

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>>31961284
>cityfag finally leaves the concrete jungle and he's scared
just shoot it you cuck.

>>31958016
>skinwalkers are just really quick Giant Sloth descendants

>>31956041

Body slam it, then fuck it into submission

>>31961313
Let me rephrase: I'm not scared, I do shit at night all the time, I'm more country than city, I'm good. But sometimes when you watch a scary movie you get nervous about walking into your dark unfinished basement, you know? That sort of thing.

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>>31961403
i can understand that a bit, but a good set of flood lights on each side of your house goes a long, long way.

It also helps to be aware of the sounds of your environment. you won't be able to at first. but when you spend enough time outside you'll be able to pick out the little noises and know when something isn't right.

Do it right and you won't even need to hear the chickens throwing a fit to figure out a fox is near.

>>31961223
I'm not sure, I made a couple posts and even a thread asking about it. Never got any responses.

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>>31956734
yeah cryptid shit may not be real but its more fun pretending thats why i own guns rather than the reality

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>>31961038
Can confirm the ash for effective skinwalker repellent.

It doesn't have to be a special ash blessed by medicine man Navajo Joe for a bottle of mouthwash. Just regular ash from your fireplace will do. Maybe take a good handful, once its cooled down enough of course, and sprinkle some around your dwelling or camp. Then grab a small pinch and smudge it on your chest and forehead. If you want, put some on your weapons like the knives, and maybe on your firearm.

Ill be around for a while. Can answer some questions regarding skinwalker defense and such.

>>31956883
anyone seen it? anygood?

>>31961471
Can you just spam some general information?

>>31961471
damn that image really works

>>31961517
Yeah sure, gimme a minute to type out what I know.

>>31961546
I need some ayy lmao defense man

>>31956041
>coat naked body completely in white ash
>wait in tree until it comes below me, smelling the scent of the 5-days-worn clothespile at the base of the tree
>jump down next to it, while holding arms in the bearhug pose
>It realizes it cannot escape or touch me without dying
>slowly, the pecker beings to rise
>use spit to wash off the white ash
>begin to fuck it
and that is how Sasquatch came to be

>>31961620
Probably

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>>31956041
>innawoods
>see this

what do?

>>31961656
shoot yourself so you don't have to suffer

>>31961467
What if there are no abandoned structures nearby?

>>31961683
then you're missing the core theme of stalker, dummy

>>31961656
Do my best Eddie Murphy impression.

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>>31961560
>>31961546
>>31961517
>>31961471


Ok, Skinwalker 101. This post will be about one of /k/'s favorite cryptid shapeshifter. The Skinwalker. Because nearly all tribes in North America have their own variations of the skinwalker and the origins behind it. I'll explain the origins and defense tactics from the Navajo Indian perspective, because that's what I am. Born and raised.

>Skinwalker
Shape shifting son of a bitch who can change into any animal they so desire. Usually to spook and/or kill livestock and humans.

>Origin
In the Navajo origin stories, it is said that the power to shape shift into any animal was given to the people as a gift from the deities. That gift and power was then utilized to spy on the Utes and other tribes, and to travel great distances in times that were not achievable in human form. Eventually over time, this power grew to be corrupted and soon became associated with evil. I'm not exactly sure how or at what point, it's pretty taboo to ask in detail.

>Why is it taboo to ask?
The attitude toward asking is: "If you speak of it, you are asking for it". So yeah. Between Navajos and maybe other Natives, stories of skinwalkers are good campfire shit. Asking as a non-Native, you won't get an answer right away, but if you live with us and understand the culture for a good while, we might tell you a story or two.

>How does one become a skinwalker?
Some pretty fucking evil shit apparently. Murder a relative, murder a random person, murder a certain number of people, rape, drink human blood, commit suicide, digging up graves, graverobbing, cannibalism, be sworn in by others, be an apprentice to one, inherit the power. These are just some random “ways to be one” theories I’ve heard overtime. But the specifics no one knows unless you are one yourself or seen it happen.

Will post part 2 soon.

Not super scary, but here's my story well, part one. (don't worry, I pre-wrote it so there's not much waiting)
>camping in Northish MS
>beautiful af area with a small path with high sheer raised sides on either side of the path
>bushwacked from a parking area for a trial to get here took about six minutes or so
>out of the way, no one is likely to come out here and find me
>little creek running a bit away, probably just a couple feet deep, frogs aplenty probably snakes too didn't fuck around to find out
>set up hammock and bug net because fuck mosquitoes
>I'm set up at the top of one of the sides, not right on the edge, but a few yards from it can't see the creek because there's an incline in the way, not terribly steep, probably in height it's s small hill about nine feet decline to the creek
>explore around for a bit waiting for it to get a bit dark
>find a flat area with what seems like may have been a stone wall for a property? maybe a property line?
>was only stacked to about four feet long and maybe three feet high, smooth river stones and someone had placed a cairn on top
>anyway neato
>no actual signs that there was a house or anything there, no stacked wood or anything
>don't find anything else cool so I head back to my hammock
>cook up some chicken rice meal I brought on my wood stove
>made sure to cook away from my main sleeping area because maybe burrs? don't want to fuck with one
>cozy up in my woobie, marpat if you're wondering
>it's pretty dark by now, but it's a bright moon and I can see okay probably around 10pm
>can hear the creek babbling in the distance and frogs are calling for rain
>close my eyes and wait for sleep to take me
>suddenly I hear a pretty loud splash
>then it goes silent for a few seconds
>no frogs, no other animals make a noise
>I'm wide awake, heart racing at this point
>pretty sure I'm about to be murdered by an inbred woods family
1

>>31962188
Hard to get these blocks spaced to where they're cohesive and within the character limit.
>only a few seconds have passed since the splash and I hear another splash and then silence for a couple more seconds, and then again a single splash
>this goes on for about two minutes, silence for a period, then splash with the occasional few splashes like someone walking in shallow water where they're dragging their feet a bit through it too
>then whatever it is walks out of the creek
>it's pretty silent as far as walking through the woods goes, leaf crunches as it walks, but no twig snaps
>it's just walking upwards from the creek in my direction, but not directly at me
>pretty sure they doesn't know I'm here, and I'm not about to move to try to get out because I'll make noise against the nylon
>see a dark shape begin to crest the small hill from the creek
>it's moving towards the way I came up to get here, a small path with some trees to grab while going up for support to get onto the top of the "cliff"side
>judging from size they're probably 6'6" maybe I'm 5'10" and they were only about that much different from me from where I saw them standing
>darkish skin, and I could see that they were darker in some parts than others, I'm assuming this was because the darker bits were hair?
>anyway they were lighter on their chest and I couldn't see much of the whole face, but from what I saw it looked like they were lighter on the face, but they had a beard, not a long pointy beard, but about a thumb's length out from their chin
>long hair from the top of their head, and it didn't look very kempt
>they had protrusions from under their nose, maybe something like tusks, or a nose ornament? I couldn't really tell.
>anyhow, this thing was holding one arm to its chest like it was holding something, I'm assuming they were catching frogs and was now walking to where they lived to prepare and eat them
>about this time, the smell hit me
2

>>31962215
And this is it, not as exciting as maybe some other stories, but this is my story.
>if you've ever been riding through the mud, then you might know the real black mud that smells terrible, dogs love it though, but it smelled a bit like that, but not as pungent
>like when you wash your dog down after he's been rolling through it, but the smell is still a bit there
>they never come close to me, but they get down the "cliff"side and they're taking the trail between them away from where I came up on, so further into the woods
>I listen to it walk into the distance and then the frogs start singing again and an owl starts up a bit away by the creek and I can't here the footsteps anymore
>lie there with my eyes forced open the whole night until morning when I packed up and went home
I didn't feel like they were animalistic or that they would have went after me if they knew I was there, but it was very unsettling seeing them out there
I think that if I ran into it while armed in the woods, I would treat it with cautious respect, back away the way I came while being ready to defend myself if it came at me
I don't think it was some kind of ape like people claim a bigfoot is, it was very human in my opinion.
Never really told anyone because people will think I'm crazy, definitely didn't report it.
3

>>31961084
That story is 10+ years old. I've seen it on Falfiles and arfcom before.

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>>31962226
It was probably just greasy ol' Sam Losco, not a samsquanch

>>31962432
is this the netflix-funded-because-people-watched -this-series-on-netflix season 8?

fuck that shit

>>31962498
nah man its like season 4 its a classic

>>31960785
>spouting shit about seals and gorillas
lol

>>31956041
Remark about how you never see Jews in the woods.

>>31961656
Id go away like any rational person would

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>>31956041
>>31956044
>Wonder if it's looking for mate to breed with
>idgaf, proceed to breed with the creature anyway
>wife the monster
>tfw I now have monster girl wife

All is well in life

>>31962924
Pretty sure any rational person would shoot it and then fuck the bullet hole

>>31963003
it would be a case of anon livin the life

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ornament its body with many bullet of rifle

>hunted and gone innawoods my whole life
>have a buddy thatgrew up in suburbia but he wants to innawoods
>decide to take him on a coyote hunt
>starting to get dark
>we setup in a tree stand i built thats mostly enclosed for winter time but has mesh window covers for visability
>plenty of room for 2 people we both have about a 30-40 degree area we are watching
>drug some road kill on the way in to bring the yotes in with the blood smell
>i have a ATN digital night vision scope on my AR10 buddy has some stupid expensive thermal sight on his decked out AR
>pretty quiet no coyotes getting ready to call it when my buddy nudges me
>"anon look over here about 170 yards out, is that something im not gettinf much of a heat signature but its moving"
>dafuck
>raise up, my NV gets a little grainy around 150 but with the IR illuminator its a little easier to see
>flip on illuminator because i couldnt quite discern a shape
>as i turn it on two green eyes shine back at me and the thing stops moving
>"dude i cant tell what it is but i see it moving too"
>"think i should take a shot?"
>"no i dont know what it is better not just in case"
>at this point we are in a staring contest with it as it starts to move closer to us
>"anon its moving in should we try to scare it?"
>i can telll my buddy is getting itchy to kill something
>"just let it be but keep an eye on it"
>no sooner did i finish saying that did my buddy let off a round at it
>pull up my rifle to see if he hit it
>nope it just stands there
>say wtf
>he shoots again
>still there
>tell him to knock it off
>he tells me he was aiming center mass second shot
>look and its still standing staring
>fuck it
>put 5 rounds center mass and he mag dumps
>this thing let out the most gut wrenching blood curdling sound and then ran off
>bug out will find it tomorrow
>next day, no blood trail, no tracks
>nope.jpg

>>31963228
>not much of a heat signature

YOURE AS COLD AS ICE!

>>31957039
this
/aco/ nightmare waifus thread has opened me up to so many possibilities. As long as you fixate on the human bits almost anything can be hot!

>>31956041
>what do?
combat roll while drawing and doing a 360 degree check.
back away from it
>what guns do you take innawoods
10mm, obviously
>to prevent skinwalkers from eating you?
no... I don't worry about them. They're not real.

>>31956069
>if you saw it, how would you react and would you be armed? you would have a pretty violent reaction if you didn't think it was real in the first place.

if I went to the woods, it would be with a G20 10mm against bears. obviously overkill for whatever the fuck that thing may be.

>>31963473
>g20

My 15 rounds of fuddy fi will do just fine from my FNP

>>31960983
>Flinkock

y? Legit asking

>>31962215
>>31962226
You keep switching between "they" and "it" so I'm confused as to how many you saw in your story

>>31962177
Part 2 will come tomorrow, if thread is still up. Library closed sooner than expected. I'll leave with this,

Should you encounter one, light the fucker up, because any injury it takes will appear in its human form. And tell people locals that you encountered one, it will likely identify the skinwalker which is what effectively kills it

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>>31963003

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>>31963228
I want to believe

>>31963509
Lol seen a brown bear take five shots of fuddy five, and running away till both me and then the third hunter mag dumped with 308predOBR. Ran up the hill and tumbled, bled, and dropped down the other side of the hill. It was still alive when we got to the too of the hill. The guide told us not to shoot anymore because we wouldn't get a good pelt. Took the grizzly bear a whole hour to die laying on its side. When it was finally dead, we dressed it and took it back to the trailers. We sent it to a taxidermist, and he called us to tell us the bears skull was not recoverable. It has three fuddy five slugs buried halfway into the skull.
Mah stoppin POWAH isn't gud nuff Fer bears son

>>31961493
I have. It tu Ned out to be quite a good film, but it's in Norwegian so if you don't speak that subtitles are a good idea, but the torrent I got in in didn't have subs so you should look for one that did.

It's basically more of a deep introspective on humanity than anything to actually do about the sooops and the spoops are just a milieu on which to project the characters.

Acting is pretty shit sometimes but the movie overall was about a four, maybe even a five out of seven.

>>31959749
Yeah bro me too

>transition from low forward carry to low ready
>flip safety off during transition
>turn on AN/PEQ-15
>place Big Mac back in pouch on MOLLE harness with weak side hand hand
>scan sectors for other potential threats
>attemp to de-escalate situation
>if hostile is aggressive perform Mozambique drill

>>31964185
>if hostile is aggressive

If it wasn't aggressive it wouldn't be a very good hostile now would it?

>>31964461
I think that was the joke senpai

>>31964111
>letting the animal suffer for an hour
You're a fucking disgrace. Kill quickly and mercifully, degenerate scum.

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>>31963003
This anon gets it

>>31961344
Well that big "gnork bork" was nearly bulletproof.

I was giggling like a little girl when I read that greentext with the pre-historic sloth.

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>>31959814
>Ravenous
Holy fucking shit, why haven't I seen it.

Thank you anon for giving me something to watch!

Hmmm, that looks like a a lady skin walker so I'm gonna try to fuck it. I'll use a condom though because I don't want any weird cryptid stds.

>>31961272
You want to tell me that cryptidhunting is not a common thing on /k/?

Are you a newfag?

>>31964724
But then you wouldn't get a half-breed kid to keep your legacy alive within the beastwoman tribe.

>>31964636
It's bretty gud.

It had little marketing, but decent cast and script.

>>31964725
I've been on /k/ since 2007 and can confirm that this spoopy bullshit only started a couple years ago due to crossboard niggers who felt too cool for /x/.

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>>31963548
Because i'm a faggot who finds larping my hunts to be incredibly satisfying.

>>31956069
*unsheathes katana*
heh

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>>31956041
any answer besides "give her the dick" is factually wrong.

>>31958016
out of curiosity i've spent the last hour combing through google maps trying to find this location.

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>spooks
You fuckers should watch R Point. South Korean horror is goat.

>>31964938
I heavily respect that

>>31956044
>>31956041

I know you /k/omrades want to fuck this thing. But this makes me PROFOUNDLY uncomfortable. there's just something about the way it moves. Now if it happened to rush me, pin me down and start to grind on my dick, Im going to give in obviously, but my point stands.

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>>31956041

Shoot the cunt, what do you think?

>>31956044
Straight stance, hands are low, shoulders relaxed. It moves behind cover and examines who ever is there quizzically. It's body language is completely innocent and somewhat curious. It's not spooked, it has no sense of danger, and is making no threat.

People saying shoot should have their doggos atf'd. I would give it food and let it follow me around inna woods.

Help Squatting Deer back to the reservation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIwL_uvSAgg

>>31960797
>optics
>fancy

I bet you think flashlights are flashy.

>>31965886
>flashlight
>flash light
>flash
>flashy
Of course they're fucking flashy

>>31963416
Anyone have a link to the archive of this?

>>31966231
>>>/aco/971913

>>31962177
Can people hunt these motherfuckers?

>>31957039
Fuck, that was my first thought too

>>31964977
It's a good one. One of the few /k/ related.

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>>31956044
Not gonna lie, kinda hot. Would make monster babies with it.

i go down to home depot and pick up this quiet mexican fellow named nigger jim. i use him as a pack mule and if i see a bear or skinwalker ill just shoot him in the knee and run.

>>31961352
F5 or suplex?

>>31966480
German suplex.

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>>31956044
>dat shyness with a little tsun on the side
Administer the test.

>>31960338
>OMG NEED HER ON MY NOW!!!
Do you even read what you type?

>>31966489
In a Canada at least it can give oral still.

>>31966483
Would a skin walker survive an RKO?

>>31964185
Get off 4chan Mac.

>not performing an occular pat-down of the tango

>>31963228
Location?

>>31964176
cool thanks mate

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>>31964976
Sorry for the late post, this is in response to
>>31958016
With the location.

>>31958016
Next /k/ meetup destination

>>31965166
kek

>>31966861
Dude if I lived around there I'd definitely come and be the expedition's /x/ faggot.

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This one is the fucking worst.

>>31960979
Is Narnia a Predators heaven?

>>31964938
Where'd you get your flintlock, and how much did you pay? I have no idea where to start.

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>>31966483
This is the only acceptable answer

>>31966957
I gotchu senpai. It's a cheap shit Spanish gun i assembled from a kit. Usually 50-80 bucks cheaper to buy from them. but i bought it during a sale. so i payed less then 300. if you know some basic wood working and metal finishing, i recommend going the kit rout.

https://www.dixiegunworks.com/default.php?cPath=22&osCsid=3o3rssu56bhq8m3oraeu7jjpu5

But for reference, Dixie Gun Works is one of the best places to buy.

>>31960338
Fuck off Furfag

>>31961656
I plumb the motherfucker

>>31961656

Shoot him twice in the chest with some m855 because that's what I have the most of. IF it staggers him, move in and take a shot at his CNS. IF that puts him down, start rifling through his empire of dirt for artifacts of those as foolish as I who were not as well equipped. IF he doesn't rise from his improved healing factor, I take his corpse back to civilization and sell it to the highest bidder. National Enquirer will give me at least $10,000 for it, and it only cost me about $.60 of ammo.

>>31963341
YOU'RE WILLING TO SACRIFICE

>>31956041
>>31956041
>be innawoods removing squirrel
>See skinwalker
>A smile crosses my face
>It's malevolent gaze follows my hand as I reach into my trusty belt pouch
>Slowly pinch my last resort between my thumb and forefinger and my smile grows wider as I reveal the skinwalker's ultimate destruction
>A single trojan groove condom
>Skinny's expression turn to one of pure horror
>Realizing I now have the upper hand, I scream "TWO TIMES!" and break into a sprint towards the little mynx
>Before my demonic delicacy knows what has happened, I am upon it
>Tackle it to the ground
>It lets out a panicked squeal of desperation
>I slap its ass, spit in its face, and tactically adorn my only protection against Paranormal Transmitted Diseases
>Cries of "Hail the Kube" are heard for miles as I repeatedly release my seed into my new fucktoy

I don't have any woods near me to go into.
Are the skinwalkers on or under the water? The strangest stuff I've seen outside has been gray seal, Pacific oyster and Assyrian noplis.

>>31956082
No fun allowed: the post

>>31961656
Well I've never fucked an ogre so that big ol green bastard is getting hog tied.

Here comes the airplane! The airplane is my penis. I will 9/11 his asshole with my dick.

>>31967687
Nigga am I hearing this right, you got spooped by a fucking oyster

>>31967814
Not spooked, it's just that Pacific oysters don't have any business being this far north, nor the Assyrian noplis for that matter. The gray seal is just rare here.

>>31967866
Where you at? Because I dunno what that noplis shit is but there are oyster farms in the puget sound

>>31967920
Oh, I'm a fair bit further north and east of that. While we do have some oysters and scallops, the Pacific oyster and the noplis are new and invasive species that do not belong in the ecosystems here.

>>31956041
I usually go out with my ar 15 and 240 rds of 5.56, i plan on going for a couple days tomorrow actually.

>>31968116
I look forward to your /x/ thread about "oh gosh golly gee guys i saw a skinwalky"

>>31961037

>not eating the ass

How can you say you love him then?

President Trump is going to restrict gun rights for the mentally ill, so get your cryptid hunting in while you can.

>>31964111
Motherfucker. Couldn't you end the life of that poor bastard?

>>31968133
No skin walkers so far but when i went out a couple weeks ago i stumbled into the middle of a group of hogs in some brush and tactically shit myself.

>>31968366
Well if you see one, be sure to fuck it
Also nice dubs senpai