I Got a Problem /k/

Huh. A movie about sleep paralysis.

How often?
Do you live alone?
Old house?
Sure its not sleep paralysis?

sleep paralysis, it happens

>What should I do?
Put your gun on the other side of the room?

>>31935679
Its not sleep paralysis because I can move but there is another condition where your brain can't shut off dreams for like 5 seconds if you wake quickly.

I'm sure it's that. The issue is should I alter my weapons placement or something so I don't shoot my dog.

Yes my house is kinda old and I live alone but it's nothing supernatural.

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Booby trap your bedroom with grenades in coffe cans scattered liberally on the floor, if the spook does not set them off he is ethereal and there is no use shooting him.

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>>31935711
I did for tonight but I feel like if the nogs show up I will be at a disadvantage. Seconds can be life or death but if I shot my dog I would probably have to kill myself too out of guilt and grief.

>>31935640

Sleep paralysis.

Nope, you're not crazy. This is a common condition. I wouldn't worry about it.

>>31935640
Try sleeping on your side or your stomach, or basically any way other than on your back. Supposedly sleep paralysis and other related shit is more likely to happen if you sleep on your back. If it helps comfort wise, get another pillow to sleep beside.

>>31935832
cockapoo? my mom has one.

it's stupid as fuck.

>>31935924

>I wouldn't worry about it.

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>>31935739
>but it's nothing supernatural
Enjoy getting possessed

>>31935832
You'll be at a disadvantage anyways because if you wake up and see them you'll think it's the nightmare.

Set up an alarm for your doors and windows. If you see someone and no alarm, no googles. If alarm happens, it will wake you in time to get your gun and end the google search.

>>31935940
But don't towel heads believe that sleeping on your stomach causes nightmares more often?

He's fucked either way.

>>31935640
I had a hag attack at least once when i was younger. Scary shit.

>>31936119
I thought sleeping on your stomach brought more erotic dreams.

>>31936075
>it will wake you in time to get your gun and end the google search.
>the google search.
wat

>>31935640
if ur that scared sage your house, all corners of all rooms, and pray to your god

This usually happens to me when I'm under more stress than usual, although I see something different. What works for me is keeping my eyes closed for about 10-20 seconds after I wake up to let my brain realize I'm not sleeping anymore.

>>31936119
>>31936163
Sleeping on his stomach might give him a sore neck.

>>31935640
Is this an actual photo of the black man OP?

>>31935832
QT af

Leave watermelon scattered about the place, it will keep etherial-Dindu away from bed.

>>31936190
Then he should sleep on his side, cuddling a pillow if he needs to for it to be comfortable.

>>31935640
Literally sleep paralysis, as everyone else has said.

But they didn't offer ways to help.
I get hypnagogic hallucinations.
I see things when I'm falling asleep.

It's a precursor to sleep paralysis.

What I do to avoid my shit is to never open my eyes when I'm falling asleep
If I open them, I see things.
That's bad.

Maybe follow the same ritual?
When you go to sleep, never open your eyes till morning

>>31935640
> /k/ uses logic and denotes sleep paralysis, tricks of the mind, possibly basketball americans.

> /x/ would have him running naked through his house, waving burning sage, throwing salt at anything that looks funny, and placing a butt plug engraved with a pentagram securely in his rectum.

>>31935640

consider a weapon light for better identification, could just be your eyes playing tricks on you

>>31935940
>>>31935640 (OP)
>Try sleeping on your side

Thus, OP.

If I am foolish enough to fall asleep on my back because I'm reading or watching shit on a tablet whilst in bed on my back at night, or even during the day on a couch or something, I suffer from sleep paralysis without fail.

It's horrible, and I now rarely forget to flip over. I'm too scared of the resulting experience.

ALSO IMPORTANT:

When sleeping on your side, you should have a pillow between your knees so that they don't touch. If they touch, you'll be inclined to shift so that one leg overlaps another so, say, top leg is no longer directly above other leg but overhanging it so your buttcheecks are no longer touching a straight vertical axis but now at an angle.

If you don't have both legs basically mirroring each other by say, hugging a pillow (those long fat, tubular ones are best) and you get that overhang, your spine curves at the pelvis and you don't get the most comfy or refreshing sleep.

Sorry for this description but I can't think we'll enough right now so I hope you get it.

Also, pillow helps balls not get squished and thus increases comfort.

Some people have a preferred side to sleep on, but it would probably be best to lie on your right side as lying on the left somehow puts pressure on the stomach iirc, increasing chances of heartburn etc., plus more pressure may be put on the heart on that side, I can't remember.

I can only lie on my right because my left lung is missing a quarter of it so I can't breathe well otherwise lol.

Probably sleep paralysis. If not try to rape it next time it appears. You would become a legend if you raped a ghost. Ghost rape is legal.

>>31935640
Thats just Tyrone. Move to a better neighbourhood.

>>31936754
>You would become a legend if you raped a ghost. Ghost rape is legal.
I wouldn't recommend that, they could come back the next night with fiends and rape you back.

>>31936320
>> /x/ would have him running naked through his house, waving burning sage, throwing salt at anything that looks funny, and placing a butt plug engraved with a pentagram securely in his rectum.

Perhaps /x/ as it is now, but a few years ago it would have presented the same diagnosis as /k/. Poor /x/ never truly recovered from that massive b raid.

Can't even go there for creepypasta anymore as the self-aware, open minded anons of old have all been replaced by leddit-tier role players and some likely actual loons thinking they're in good company. Poor /x/. Used to be a fun place to hang out if you were interested in boos in the night.

>>31936782
Then you bring friends and rape all the other ghosts.
>Rape ghosts
>get TV show.

>>31936265
>I get hypnagogic hallucinations.
>I see things when I'm falling asleep.
Interesting.
I learned long ago to, just as you say, keep my eyes shut.
Problem is, I don't see things, but instead I hear them:
Snippets of half heard conversation; giggling and heartier laughter; footsteps; the sound of a throat being cleared; my name being whispered; a typewriter clacking away of all things but the absolute worst is the sudden screaming of a woman or child.

Sharp, "loud" and with no prelude.

I get the fuck up, pulse pounding, eyes wide in the dark. Slept with the light on for months because of this shit. Wake-up to, of course, nothing.

The most annoying, but not horrifying, was the Phantom Knocking. I'd hear a knock at my chamber door, any hour of the day, get up to check and of course: "darkness there, and nothing more."

I fucking hate when this shit happens. I still haven't determined any specific pattern to why it happens, and no the sounds are in my head, as there's no one else around making those noises at that hour. Spoils the whole next morning for me.

Fuck thus shit.

>>31936813
And just to add, I hear shit even when I'm on my side.

Don't think I rather have visual hallucinations though. Fuck that to hell.

>>31936794
>implying the ghosts won't wait until your friends all fall asleep and then gang rape all of you
>implying the ghosts won't be extremely good at doing the deed given how they have more than a lifetime worth of experience
>implying you and your friends won't be reduced to huddled sobbing masses on TV confused by how much you wanted it to stop while at the same time thinking it felt amazing how they pleasured you and brought you to orgasm multiple times with methods you didn't think could be pleasurable

>>31936813
> chamber door

What are you? A medieval knight?

Really?

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I just learned how crazy a lot of /k/ really is.

>>31935640
That's just Tyreese, the teleporting negro.

>>31936782
>Great spooky rape war of 2016
Guess I better order some more lube, I ain't gonna take this lying down.
Except for when it's my turn, ya know

i think i had sleep paralysis one time
i woke up and the room was much darker than usual but i could just barely see a figure standing in the corner of my room, it was a witch

then i went back to sleep, i might have just imagined it lmao

>>31936818
I'm a little jealous of all of you. I grew up hearing stories of this shit from my mother whom has dealt with it from her teenage years. Always sounded like a trip.

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>>31936838
>Quoth to raven "Faggot-whore".

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems-and-poets/poems/detail/48860

>>31936931
>to raven
*the raven

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>>31936820
Go on

>>31935640
It's a sleep paralysis, but only if your body is paralyzed and it takes a while until bodyparts start working. Your eyes will work without issue, and sometimes you slowly roll your torso sideways. I guess this figure doesn't make any sound? It shouldn't. Had this when I was 7-15 and still got me disturbed.

>>31935832
My mom always hung beads in all the doors leading outside.

I thought she was just a hippy but she told me it was to warn against googles breaking in.

Not such a bad idea, might do that some day.

>>31936163
We call Basketball Americans googles to fuck with Google's search algorithms.

Not sure if it's working all that well but I'm not one to stop halfway.

>>31937082
not who youre replying to, but so far there's 'dindu' that started maybe 18 months ago, redguard probably started whenever the fuck skyrim came out, and i i understand you correctly, "google" because google analytics reads 4chan as a top 'nigger' site?
>also, is anyone else still niggering legacy captcha? because it only works half the time for me now

>>31935640
>I'm not crazy. It just happens from time to time that I wake up and see a figure or figures in my room standing over me

lol

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>>31936178

Same here.

When I wake up, I grab stuff/people that touches me and hold it against the bed or a wall or something.

A few days ago I grabbed my blanket and just pinned it against the bedroom wall because I was very, very sure there was a wild animal (!) in my bed trying to hurt me and I had to keep it in place so it wouldn't bite me.

...which makes absolutely no sense but you go and say that to my brain.

It's always during/after a long period of stress, especially if it is related to angry people.

>>31936163
this dumbass right here >>31937082

is trying to start a meme all by his lonesome basement dwelling self.

Nobody calls niggers "googles", you retarded faggot, they just say nigger like someone who has testicles

>>31935640
Where the hood where the hood at.


Just have nightstand tacos and shove it in his mouth

>>31936911
It definitely is not fun. It's the most terrified I have ever been. Like scared doesn't even cover it, which is why I'm worried about what I might do.

>>31935832
Are you ATF?

>>31936782
>>31936794
>>31936820
>ghost rape gangbang party
>/k/

>>31937759
Is my dog named ATF? No.

>>31935924
Skinwalker please go

>>31936941
>Miranda hart.jpg
Bong housewife detected

>>31937822
You expected different?

>>31936743
>long, fat, tublear pillow.
Tfw body pillow wards off spooks

Stop LARPing and put your gun in a safe location. No one's going to attack you at night.

>>31935640
you got a visit from obongo

>>31935640
You have sleep paralysis. I suffered from extreme instances of those some years ago. But whenever I was able to move again, my mind immediately realized it was just sleep paralysis. Like all the intense fear just went away and I was back to normal. You really shouldn't still be panicking after you're able to move.

I hate sleep paralysis. I've never seen figures or felt a presence of any kind, though. Fuck that noise. It's bad enough being half awake but unable to move. I'd lose my shit if I was dreaming that there was a person/monster standing over me while I am completely vulnerable. At least in a regular nightmare, you can move your limbs in the dream world usually. Paralysis is scary.

Reminds me of the one quest from the witcher 3 where a woman takes a paralysis potion and gets slowly eaten by rats.

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>>31939580
It's not sleep paralysis. I'm not paralyzed and can move and act.

It's called hypnogogic hallucinations.

If it were sleep paralysis I wouldn't be worried because I couldn't hurt myself or my dog.

I've also managed to damage my living space by trying to tackle the hallucination and crushing my night stand as well as fucking my tongue up thinking it was reaching into my mouth while I tried to bite its fingers off.

>>31939528 >t. Guy who doesn't live by googles

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could be ayys

>>31935640
Sleep Paralysis.

Unless you've got Psychosis, it's normal to experience it once in a while. Usually induced by stress.

Get over it like everyone else.

>>31935640
I riddled my wardrobe full of holes because of that shit. Its sleep paralysis. I didnt know that at the time, it thought i was possessed or the aljuhns were kidnapping me to have sex.
You think you can move a little with force applied, but you dont move at all.
You also think you are losing breath but you are breathing just fine.
Your brain makes an entire dimension when idling, making shit up as it goes.
When you are lucid, you can control the dream.
When you dont know that you are controlling the halfdream or sleep paralysis, you invent scary shit like that, you feel you cant move and youre fucked.
When you snap out of it scared shitless you are even scared to look around.
Best way to tackle that fear is to talk to priests, if you dont believe its sleep paralysis.
You have prayers to shoo away shit like that, and since your brain is for some mysterious reason programmed to be calm, relaxed and hopeful during prayer, during religious rituals, you will overcome the fear.

>>31935739
>I live alone.

Shame no one wants to stay with a schitzo

>>31935746
STALKER told me one think about life trust noone and keep your guns about you leagal or not.

>>31935640
>What should I do? I feel like it's a real possibility I end up blasting my house in one of these moments of half awake moments.

Wouldn't worry about it anon, go back to sleep... right now.

>>31935640

Not trying to freak you out, but... okay let's first imply it's not a troll and not result of medication.

The good news is it's not supernatural.

The bad news is the main cause is either government/military experiments or visits by your friendly ayy lmao next door. Which tend to be immensely sadistic games to fuck with your mind or do medical stuff with you.

Same goes for >>31936813

Also congratz to all the pseudo-doctors parroting "sleep paralysis". Among the people that claim they are visited at night by someone there surely are attention whores and frauds, but some of those cases are definitely authentic. And not surprisingly those cases are identical with descriptions of historic accounts, like Jinn and Iblis from Arabia. Because that shit is going on for way longer than the past century.