>gruff gruff >snort What do?

shit in his face

Discharge firearm. Doesn't have to be aimed at bear... Muzzle blast will scare it away pronto.

make lots of noise, try to make myself look big and don't run away.

>black bear

Literally shake a can of quarters at it.

>>31830316
Proceed to yiff.

uhh,mag dump?

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>>31830330
>runs his fat ass 10 meters
>looks at you
>climbs a tree
>hides behind tree
YOUR MOVE HUMAN!

>>31830316
Run up to it and punch it in the face.

Probably yell at it, and run at the first hint of aggression like it's going to charge.

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>>31830316
*zipper sound*

>>31830440
They say don't turn your back on a black bear or else it will steal your garbage.

>>31830316
Pray to any and all gods

>>31830316
My sam7sf is with me. I ain't giving a shit.

>Fell for the 10mm meme

>bear starts to maul me alive

https://youtu.be/_NCcxAOKlL0

It's a fucking black bear. Why should I do anything?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7cFTuk6EpE&spfreload=10

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>>31830762

>Black

Who else remembers that time when we had no less than three bear related threads going at once?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bkwy0scRXBU

Scare it up a tree as it's just minding its own business eating some acorns.

>>31830449
Just like black people except they'll steal your bikes and women.

>>31830781
Fucking white people mang

>>31830316
Fire shot in air, bear runs away.

>>31830316
>What do?
take picture, preferably a selfie.

>>31830492
>Pray to any and all gods
the god of bear attacks?

>>31830316
Probably smoke a cigarette with it, talk to it, offer it some food, tell him/her to go away

>>31830316
>Be me
>Out pulling weeds in garden
>Playing Led Zeppelin in headphones because having rough day
>Mother fucking Kashmir
>Look up
>See black bear advancing towards me
>Stand up and show him I mean business
>He stops at about Duelling distance and gets on hind legs
>We both stop and stare at each other
>He finally turns tail and retreats off of my turf
Black bears are only dangerous during the fall before hibernation. If you encounter one during the summer when food is plentiful you literally have nothing to be afraid of. Shit, I had one chilling with my chickens one time because he wanted to eat their food.
Literally any other bear though will push your shit in.

>>31830316
Affix bayonet

>>31830329
Fpbp

>>31831130
You need to wrap your arm around the bear's shoulder first.

>>31830316
Walk up and slap his girlfriends ass.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nU5cMZymSr0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1F4XGFfj9Z8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0wSXxa3TlY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkQomqt6kGQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-BD4wL_8TM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63Ne_4Tgyag

if innawoods
>shoot it in the face
>mate with it
>butcher and smoke the meat
>make it into a blanket

if hiking
>fart loudly which scares it away

>>31831228
This bear knows how to hold a grudge
>you gonna spray me bitch?
>am gonna fuck your kayak up
>take a good look
>you pussy I am just getting started
>its not about food its about sending a message

>>31830329
Great was to show yogi who's boss.

>>31831280
Hey boo boo, that's a nice picknick basket.

>>31830316
Black bears can be scared by using harsh language.

If you fart hard enough, it'll run away.

>>31830316
Implement economic sanctions.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jRTrRxamxQ

>>31831168
Shit, I had one chilling with my chickens one time because he wanted to eat. They're food.*
FTFY

>>31830316
Unload 13 rounds of fawdy into it.

Pet it like a doggo

>>31831976
No, that's the thing, he didn't want to eat them. He'd rather eat their food pellets.

>poo on ground
>have food
>it comes to get food
>it steps in poo

>>31830316
SERIOUSLY WEAR THE BEAR BELLS ITS NOT HARD TO ID A TRESPASSER TO HUNT WITH THOSE BELLS ON

>>31830316

Fuck it into submission. Only way you will beat the bear, is if you break the bear.

>>31830762
Otherwise it'll want honey for dem programs.