Heading to bootcamp in 5 days.

lurkin

>>31803595
Learn to sew on buttons and do basic repairs.

>>31803595
Don't be a pussy.
Your life sucks now.
Deal with it.

>>31803595

When you get knife-handed make sure to jab them in the eyes with two fingers.

Scream "SCISSORS BEATS PAPER" as loudly an autistically as you can while you're at it.

You should be immediately promoted as you are exactly the kind of person they're looking for to begin with.

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Smoke some weed my dude! Nothing bad will happen!

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Too stupid to use the military thread. No one gives a fuck about bootcamp.

Listen carefully think fast and act fast

>>31803595

Wear plain clothes with no markings or logos

Do not volunteer for anything

Do not mention any experience with firearms

Do not be the first to claim their weapon is cleaned

Eat your food as fast as you can as they will kicked you out the mess hall seconds after you sit down

Do not bring any more than 40 dollars cash and make sure to bring your ATM card

Always look busy

Go to church even if you are non religious as it's better than sticking around on sundays to work

Listen, fuck face.
Divide the time in your head and it goes buy fast. Remember: Chow-to-chow and Church-to-Church.
When you have your moment of truth, they're allowed to lie to you. Keep your fucking mouth shut.
When you get to the fleet ask one of your NCO's to go with you to buy a car when you want to buy a car.
Don't get married until the end of your first enlistment. I don't care how much you think you love her, you've got about an 80% divorce rate and bitches are vicious. They have facebook groups of wives dedicated to screwing their soon-to-be ex husbands out of every last penny.

I have no reason to lie to you. This is for your own good.
>t. Sergeant who got out last year after 11 years in.

cancel now.

go and see if the army will take you in as a warrant officer helicopter pilot.

>>31803669
The Sunday one isn't necessarily true. Our DI's used Sunday morning as their time to rest too. As long as we were not sleeping or doing anything to garner attention, I was never fucked with for staying behind in the squad bay. I wrote letters, did laundry, and squared away my shit.

>>31803779
that is how my sundays were in army basic at sill in 2003.

a few people up in the bay to clean. the rest of us down in the laundry room doing laundry and bullshitting.

drill sgts never bothered us as long as we kept quiet.

>>31803779
It really depends. Why risk it when several church services offer food and a chance to sit down without risking hearing someone scream at you and risk getting caught fucking up on something?

Don't go.

>>31803636
this. go fuck yourself OP

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>>31803595
Don't be a smart ass or a little shit that does nothing. That'll be a bad time for you and the DI

But don't be a total kissass and volunteer for everything. That'll prevent sock parties.


Make friends in the barracks. It makes it easier if you have someone to talk to about the shit you experience. The suck is better when you know everyone else feels it too and you can tell someone about how it sucks to you. Also keeps you from being an insane motherfucker for having no social interaction.

Never be the center of attention though. Have a friend, don't be the life of the barracks

Learn how to fix shit like your uniform. Sewing and quick fixes will be a must for general life

Keep your shit secure. Theft is a major problem. If you know someone is on the path to discharge for whatever reason watch them like a hawk. If they don't get to keep there shit, they'll take yours as a souvenir.

Practice not laughing. Get someone to push your buttons and see how you hold up. Your bearing for shit like that makes you look good. It isn't standard comedy either. Illogical shit like "I'll buttfuck you with a Big Mac" and a stupidly high detail trip to the mall can be real fucking hilarious when it is coming in a soft whisper over your shoulder.

Love the way it sucks ass. It brings people together.

Learn of alternative uses for your equipment. In a pinch something can be used for something else to fix it or help someone. Soft things make for good pillows and obvious shit like that.

Always carry a pen and some paper with you. The dry nature of the jargon will ensure that things are forgotten, misunderstood, or looked over. Write some fucking notes.

Never take off your ruck in a long distance march or run. As good as it'll feel, you won't be able to get up again afterwards. Never sit down. Never stop moving. Never stop running. Never stop doing anything until you physically can't or are instructed to stop.

>this is the best I can do

Good luck out there.

>>31803779
I smell a 2nd battalion recruit. there was no end of fuckery in 1st battalion. you were never safe no matter the time of day nor day of week. Church was the only safe space.

>>31803595
Get a Giant Marine corps emblem tattooed across your chest the week before you ship. Your DI will love you for it and never mess with you. Call your DI's Sarge, it build unit comradery.

>>31803595
Always keep your canteens full. And drink water constantly. Write down all your stories, they'll be hilarious when you get out (but never before that).

5 years in the Corps. Sergeant.
Listen to my advice OP:
Do nothing to prepare
Bootcamp is mostly marching around and shouting loudly
If you feel overwhelemed/stressed/like u cant do it... just remember you are litarally marching (stiff walking) around and shouting loudly. Dont let it get to you.