>Be me >have 5 days off job at powerplant >getting dressed,looking

>>31715910
>Be me
oh good, I thought you were going to be someone else for a minute

thanks for clearing that up, reddit

Next up on shit that never happened,

>>31715910
Wow.

The fact you kept one upping yourself was pathetic and cringe worthy.

This story was fucking shit, and that's when you compensate for /k/'s lower standards anyways

>>31715933
Obviously you're new here.
And you've done the same thing on multiple threads.
Get the fuck off the boards, faggot.

>>31715996
>defends the use of "be me" retardation
>accuses others of being new
never change, reddit

>>31715910
English professor is almost as bad.
>Be me
>Today in class, get there a bit late
>Working with fellow happy weapon owner and obligatory weeb in group
>On a project of guns from mass shootings
>Only source is Mother Jones
>Immediately say "Well, at least it isn't a Betsy article, that would be even worse!"
>Teacher apparently gives me a dirty look
>Source is entirely biased
>Mfw professor is a 70 year old feminazi who thinks guns are the root of all evil and is a tumblrina
>Start making thesis statements, asks to see them
>Tries to say one isn't a true thesis
>"Most weapons used in mass shootings are legally purchased rifles and shotguns, or handguns, meaning that semiautomatic detachable magazine weapons have an undue amount of blame levelled on them"
>Chart has some 250 guns, New York Times article
>Only 10 or less AR/AK variants, one fucking Molot VEPR, an Uzi, and a couple of M14 models
>Professor says "WELL WHY DO YOU NEED A DETACHABLE MAGAZINE RIFLE?!"
>"Hunting, of course!" I say with a smile on my face
>"WHY DO YOU NEED SOMETHING LIKE THAT FOR HUNTING??"
>"Well, actually, a good percent of hunting today is done with either AR-15 variants or AR-10's."
She's triggered
Oh god
I've done it now
>"WELL.. We're not using any other stats other than what you're given! Do you see that on there? I don't think so! Use what you've got. Nothing else!!"
>Mfw 3 pro-gun guys have to write a 5-10 page paper and present it with only antigun propaganda
>Mfw we'll spin it in our favor anyways
>Mfw we'll get a zero
?

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oh cool!

a fiction thread!

>it's me in this story
>i open carried one time
>a helicopter-shaped sjw misgenders me
>she opens my zipper with her m230 chain gun
>911's her face onto my cock
>receive high-fives from the sheriff/swat team/president/delta/a10 warthog
>"looks like it's the paddy wagon 4 u"
>it ain't me into the sunset

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>>31715910

>didn't happen
>retarded sperg thing to do
>muh librals
>muh sjws
>I'm a real man not a noguns cuck check my powerlevel

What a crap story. Also,how do you carry a 33-rounder in a thigh holster without getting entangled in things?

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>>31716135

>it's me in this story

That wasn't you, it was me

>>31716011
Sometimes they're not "me"

Sometime the story is told from a different perspective

You're the fucking redd-tard

>Be someone who's just like me
>who cusses like me
>who doesn't give a fuck like me
>who dresses like me
>who walks, talks, and acts like me
>just might be the next best thing but not quite me

Actually it was me.

Oh also, I bought and carried a handgun.

Nothing happened.

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>me
>have good job see good powerplant good
>guns
>wear guns
>nothing
>wear MORE GUNS guns
>nothing
>WEAR AS GUNS AS GUNS ARE LOOK GLOCK BLACK REMEMBER DETAIL BLACK ITS A BLACK GUN REMEMBER FOR THE END OF THE STORY ITS A GLOCK GUN BLACK GUN OK? REMEMBER THAT ITS BLACK
>fat not republican not guns mad at guns for guns
>lol, remember that the gun was black? do you guys remember how i said earlier that it was specifically a black gun? guys? ok so, wait, ok the next line
>GUN WAS BLACK! HAHAHAHAHAHA! BLM! REMEMBER? L O L! BTFO! EL EM FUCKING AY OH screencap for reddit FUCK im so GOOD!

good story, op

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>spent the whole morning at the range with some friends shooting funs
>leave to get ready for an interview in the afternoon, this would be the third and final interview and with a panel
>I started my day like a champ, I'm excited and eager to take on this interview
>show up
>greet everybody, shake hands, and then small talk
>one person asks, "How's your day going, OP?"
>"Great, just great! I spent the whole morning at the gun range with my friends. I had a great time!"
>I show hands and smile
>another person asks, "You were at a gun range . . . shooting guns?"
>"Sure thing! But I think I did too much shooting. See my hands? I couldn't wash off the gunpowder residue."
>First person asks, "So . . . you own guns?"
>"A few: a shotgun, a rifle, and two handguns. You could say that shooting is one of my favorite pastimes."
>*A collective 'hmmmmmmmm' emerges from the panel*
>I immediately notice that the third panel interviewer has said nothing, looking uncomfortable and slightly unhappy

And then the actual interview happened. I interviewed well, I thought, but I knew the dynamic in the room was spoiled by the small talk. I can only describe this interview as a bad first (and only) date with a girl--a few minutes in and she's already formed her opinion on you and she's only sticking around for an hour to be polite. But I'm naturally cheerful and I finished the interview with enthusiasm.

I am also a goddamned sperg with no sense of awareness. This interview was on the 14th of June 2016. In Florida. Where one of the biggest massacres of our time happened not two days earlier.

And then I later found out that one of the interviewers, the one who was taciturn the entire time, was gay. His boyfriend was killed in the massacre.

I received a rejection letter stating that I was considered "not a good fit with the team".

tldr; guns are bad

>>31715910
>subtle race joke

>>31716197
if you can't tell the perspective from the story, then I'm afraid you're literally mentally retarded.

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>>31716269

>at a job interview
>mentioning guns

Have some common sense, my man

>>31716269
> one of the interviewers, was gay. His boyfriend was killed in the massacre.
> His "partner" was killed by a Muslim and all he can blame are guns

Should have gotten him too.

>>31715910
>Be me
>>>/b/

>things that never happened
Post news story or police report, faggot.

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>>31716135
>>31716183
You're both liars, it was me. Stop appropriating my life, cislords