Come home, see this. What do?

Modern "horror" is so fucking bad. Do you millennials honestly like this garbage?

At best this trash is jump scares.

>>31624298
immigrate to europe and open a kebab restaurant

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>>31624298

>>31624306
This, loaded with one wooden stake, one silver bullet and one bullet with holy water cavity in the nose.

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>>31624298
>Go on 4chan
>Make a post "Thanks H"
>Thank god my mother won't die in her sleep tonight
>Hicok45 drives by on his bike
>Kills Marilyn Manson in nun costume
>I fucking love freedom.
>USA USA USA

>>31624302

It's better than bullshit like The Exorcist.

The fact of the matter is that the entire horror genre has always been and will always be good only for cheap shitty laughs. Horror stories and movies are only good when they're so terrible they're funny, for the simple fact that it is impossible to make any form of media genuinely scary.

>>31624314
>impossible to make any form of media genuinely scary
Edgy teen detected.

>>31624333

t. scared bitch

See, I can do it, too.

>>31624314
>I've never seen good horror and I'm underage
Shame.

Maybe give Alien a shot. Poltergeist is another good one. Pretty much any well regarded horror film pre Scream.

>>31624347

Okay to be fair, I think our definitions of horror are different. Of you consider Alien a horror film then I retract my statement. I always considered psychological thrillers and horrors to be seperate.

I was referring specifically to 2spooky4me classic horror shit like Amityville and The Exorcist.

While I enjoy Alien and Poltergeist for their suspense and plot, I personally don't consider them to be horror films.

>>31624298
by playing this until it fucks off

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_TIJEpmME0

>>31624358
>I always considered psychological thrillers and horrors to be seperate.

this

my definition of horror is shitty jumpscare films

thrillers are where its at

>>31624360

It's so bad.

>>31624360
or this

it works well on annoying neighbors too

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9994nv8BcU

>>31624298
Be like "Sister Mary Katherine?"

Then draw, and mag dump.

>>31624358
What year did amityville horror come out?

>>31624392

The original? '79

Don't even fucking mention the remake.

Fuck it

>>31624298
I've seen the conjuring 2 and i legit don't remember this cunt, i thought it was set in the UK?

Anyway if that's in my hallway that means these horror films are all real so i'll just summon Darth Maul from the first one and let him deal with it.

>>31624298
Why is Marilyn Manson invading my home?

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>>31624298
Aggressively masturbate, yeah it's a demon and it's probably seen some fucked up shit. But I think it would fuck off if a sweaty 200 pound guy who just got off basic and just wants to go to bed just started violently jacking off in front of it

>>31624298
ask her to be my gf

>>31624306
>Harley Davidson
This makes me die a Lil on the inside :(

I've always wanted to fuck a nun's asshole.

"I liked The Pale Emperor but dude you have to take better care of yourself, your last few live shows are nowhere near as good as the Dead to the World Tour"

>>31624298

Get angry and storm right out of my bed and go over and slap the intruder in my home and tell him to get the fuck out of my house and let me fucking sleep because the sun hasn't even gone up yet!

After making the guy walk out of the house in shame I'll go over and hit my small dog for yelping and crying so goddamn loud all night long and slap my big dog for pissing on the carpet.

Then I'll go and hit my kids with my belt for screaming and running around in the middle of the goddamn night and yell at my uncle to stop groping my son and go back to masturbating.

Then I'll go back to my bedroom and hit my wife the second time again and tell her to stop inviting random fucking strangers to our home in the middle of goddamn night and tell her to make a proper sandwich next time.

Then I'll go back to sleep and hope everyone learned their own goddamn lesson or by god I'll start drinking.

>>31624298
Cast iron cross in a silver nacklance.

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Howl with tears in my eyes as I autisticly charge it with an axe from my bedside.

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>>31624298

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>>31624302
Most modern horror is godawful, yeah, but The Conjuring movies have heart and a good cast. I actually give a shit about the main characters.

It's better than the rest of the bunch, certainly not another one of those obnoxious-teenagers-getting-slaughtered-one-by-one movies.

>>31625180
This post made me call my dad

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>>31625211
This

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>>31624314
bruh I can't even camp alone anymore after watching the blair witch project. That is by far the scariest movie I've ever seen.

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>>31624298

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>>31625352

>>31624298
>What do you use to kill this fucker?

Kill this fucker? Marilyn Manson is a gun nut just like us, man.

I'd offer him a drink & we'd talk about guns and shit. It'll be rad.

>>31624754

I see what you did there.

>>31624839

I was 142 when I left basic, looked like a bobblehead.

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This

>>31625180
>fresh pasta

It's always nice to see OC

>>31624314
The exorcist was a groundbreaking film that pretty much brought horror into what it is today. Back then, people freaked the fuck out from it. Like... no one had ever seen anything like it. It messed people up.

According to a monk on youtube who fights demons all the time in the desert, all you gotta do when confronted with a demon is mention jesus and they run away.

>>31624298
Oh common this movie was great you're all just being a bunch of salty contrarians

>>31624298
Ya'll gotta get some Cheezus!

>>31624298
Why would I kill her? I'm going to knock that lamp off the table behind her, bend her over it, and plow her like no man has ever plowed her before. My dick has nerve damage so it's extremely hard for me to cum by just stimulating my dick unless I'm using a decent vibrator and even then it takes a while. A dicking from a human jackhammer until she becomes incoherent should take any evil out of her.

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>>31624298
Rip and tear the bitch

>>31626197

>my dick has nerve damage

Storytime.

>>31626197

I'd like to see that. It is supposed to be "the president of all hell". Not a she, btw. A He demon.

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>>31624302
The Witch was pretty good

Black Philip was the best character, I hope we get to see that GOAT actor in other films.

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>>31624358
Jumpscares are pretty shit. The genre survives now for the same reason it did before: an audience of high schoolers trying to get their new girlfriends to grab them. I can't say I like them, but they have their place culturally. Some of it you can make up for with a little imagination if you find you have to

>>31624298
Seeing as I am a skeleton he'd be more afraid of me

>>31626264
This. I enjoyed it

>>31626213
Got attacked by a few people when I was younger and got the shit beat out of me, don't remember much of it and didn't go to the doctor afterwards like I probably should have. Nothing to really tell. Now I occasionally try to pick up girls who will let me fuck them until I collapse from exhaustion or they beg for me to stop/say the safe word because I like seeing their reaction, even though i almost always end up not cuming.

>>31626236
Think he'll wait around and let me grab some lube first? He's probably going to want some lube.

>>31626403

I have a buddy like that, but his is hereditary, I think. Just recently lost the only gf that could make him ejaculate regularly.

Strange things in this world.

>>31624298
Free backstage passes to Marilyn Manson?? Why would I want to hurt him? Sign my titties and get my drunk.

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a glock blessed by the pope himself, the only true answer.

>>31625063
Why? Is it because you're a bitch or something?

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>>31626651
Ah yes, the holy hand grenade tactic.

>>31625352

The only thing this movie did well is be the only movie that had plausible characters that would continue to record everything. The only real found footage movie.

>>31624358
Honestly, the only movie that has truly terrified me it The Road. It just made me fear for everything I care about.

>>31624302
As opposed to shitty horror movies of the 80's and 90's? All you guys had for decades was masked faggots stabbing people.

>>31624314
Disagree, I've gone through haunted houses and shit across the United States, and I can assure you, there is some REALLY scary shit lying around. I can't get anything from movies, but internet /x/ shit, supernatural, midnight reading, "ever dream this man" and other bullshit. It's all crap, but fuck has is scared me in the past.

Horror movies are also the reason I will NOT stop to help someone who's stuck on the highway in the middle of nowhere. If there's no civilization or people around, I'm not fucking stopping for shit. I'll call the sheriff or an ambulance for them and report it for sure, but that's it.

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>>31626930
Maybe because Harley has become overpriced flimsy shitbikes since the 70s/80s and is beaten in performance and durability by similarly styled Japanese bikes for a fraction of the price.

>>31627288
Corncob is a great writer.

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>>31624313

>>31624298
The whole thing in the movie is that once they know its true name they've got it. I already saw the movie: it's Valak. When I was walking out the theater, my first thought was "this would be way easier on NG+"

>>31626264
This. The Witch has been the only horror movie I've enjoyed in years and not even sure i'd call The Witch a horror, but it was very creepy and well shot.

>>31626264
BLACK PHILLIP BLACK PHILLIP BLACK PHILLIP

>>31625352
I'm a horror snob, and I agree that even though this movie had some flaws, it is FAR better than most modern horror movies. Still in my top five, in spite of the parts I'd like to have changed.

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>>31626209
This
The only logical answer for slaying all things demonic is Doomguy

>>31625180
>Then I'll go back to sleep and hope everyone learned their own goddamn lesson or by god I'll start drinking.
this last line just slays me

>>31626264
what was his fucking problem

>>31625322
They start off strong and get weak as fuck by the end. "Power of love" bullshit and campy family sing alongs make me gag.

>>31630454
I'd classify it as a horror film, it's just a different kind of horror. It focused a lot more on building an unsettling atmosphere that left you feeling uncomfortable the whole time rather than just trying to make you jump every now and again.

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>>31624298
>What do you use to kill this fucker?

Pic related, because of all my funs I think it's the only one that can do it.

>>31631338
I'm glad it wasn't full of cheap jump scares. I guess you're right, it's not a traditional horror movie, definitely built an unsettling atmosphere. The kid who played the younger brother did a great job during the possession scene.

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>>31626197
>>31626403
>some where out there, there's a human fucking machine that will fuck people non stop for so long that they beg for it to be over
Oh god, I'm not sure my butt could handle that.

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>>31624298
pic or my carry piece
whichever comes first

>>31624302
Millenia don't have control over what movies are made you fucking mongoloid.

>>31631421
>human fucking machine
there's more than one anon, at the 60 minute point I usually give up and fake it...

>>31631572
H-how hard do you go during those 60 minutes?

>>31631669
about as hard as you would expect someone to go with a dick desensitized by furious death-grip fapping.

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>>31631792
Oh. I really don't think I could handle 60 minutes of that, let alone however long that one anon can go since he mentioned collapsing from exhaustion.

>>31625829
But what it is today is a just some cheap jumpscares to enjoy with friends

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>>31631503
>I don't have control over my pocketbook

>>31631197
Uh.. He was Satan? Was that his problem?

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>>31624298
Someone post that screengrab of the swolebro who punched ghosts into submission after disturbing a skull shrine in his drywall and traumatized the dead family according to a medium by doing a bunch of fucked up shit with a ouija board and dead snakes.

probably similar to that. Or an old hitler channel ghost show that talked about a guy magdumping his revolver into a ghost and putting a few holes in his basement door.

>>31626264
fuck that movie. scared the shit out of me when the witch was in the barn with them at the end.

>>31624314
>simple fact that it is impossible to make any form of media genuinely scary.
Someone doesn't frequent cringe/rage threads.
The media within always make me fear for the future of mankind.

>>31626264
>>31626339
>>31630454
>>31630595
>>31631197
>>31632071
The VVitch was not a horror movie, it was a period piece with horror elements, and it was unbearably fucking boring.

>>31624302
Its because people forgot good horror like H.P. Lovecraft. Faggots today don't read anymore.

>>31624298
4 gauge to the chest then drop and switch to 50 ae and put 7 rounds in the torse/head.

>>31631572
This, my first few times went into 45 minutes to an hour (then again, they were hookups). When I had a long-term relationship, sex would last about 10 minutes or so. Now that I'm single again and hooking up, I find I don't enjoy it even close to as much, and end up either going soft or lasting for hours on end. I also won't use thin condoms anymore, because my ex was tight enough for me to tear those fuckers up on a regular basis, even with regular non-aggressive sex.

>>31632237
I really wish somebody would do some Lovecraft adaptations that did his work justice. I just re-read his whole body of work a few months ago and it really makes me want some good movies or vidya.

>>31624298
that's pretty creepy
suppose I'd pull out the handy old pocket rocket and tell her it's not going to suck itself

>>31625845
Haha who is that guy? While he's right, he seems kinda weird.

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>>31632147
Don't worry friend, Micheal Bay is still making movies.

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>>31624298
You don't even need a gun, just say it's fuckin name. Did none of you watch this movie?

>>31627256
[REC] though

>>31627327
Even though that would be more accurate then spooks coming to get you.

>>31624298

Why would I want to kill Marilyn Manson?

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>>31624314
FUCK YOU The Exorcist was an excellent movie.

>>31632788
Del Toro wanted to make an adaptation of "At The Mountains of Madness," but the studio execs wanted him to add a female love interest to the story, cast Tom Cruise as the lead, and keep it rated PG-13. Thankfully Del Toro pretty much told the execs that those suggestions were fucking horrible and put the movie into hiatus hell until he can actually get someone to agree to a faithful adaptation.

That's basically the problem with most media these days, it's all about making as much money as possible, you can't take risks and make something unique unless you're self-funded like Laika

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>>31632064

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>>31627583

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>>31635263
top fucking kek

>>31635342
No way, it's a movie?

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEGTcLxFSSA

>>31632237
Not a big fan of Lovecraft tbqh. Always seems to build up and then just end in "it's too terribly for me to explain ;*D" I just finished reading Stephen King's End of Watch and the Drawing of the Three yesterday btw. Not really horror, but good thrillers imo.