>Meanwhile at /k/ Military Academy

Who the fuck drew a swastika with their shit on the second floor washrooms?

>tfw some wankstain NDing in the other room ruined your night with qt trap

>>31590466
that happens in the regular military academy

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>>31590454
What the fuck, comrade just put his mosin in his ass and pulled the trigger. How do i wash that mess ? I don't want to use a shit-covered nugget.

Gonna need a bigger short bus

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>WAKE THE FUCK UP YOU BUNCH OF SACKLESS FAGGOTS. SURPRISE PENIS INSPECTION DAY. IF I DON'T SEE THOSE PATHETIC, GNARLY, HAIRLESS COCKS OUT RIGHT FUCKING NOW, I'LL RIP THEM OUT MYSELF. DID I FUCKING STUTTER CADETS? GET THOSE GOD DAMN DICKS OUT OR I SWEAR TO THE ALMIGHTY CUBE I WILL KICK YOUR LITTLE CLIT THROUGH YOUR ASSHOLE. MOVE.

>>31590513
No longer a short bus at that point.

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>>31590454
>Fucking newfags

>>31590516
>>WAKE THE FUCK UP YOU BUNCH OF SACKLESS FAGGOTS. SURPRISE PENIS INSPECTION DAY. IF I DON'T SEE THOSE PATHETIC, GNARLY, HAIRLESS COCKS OUT RIGHT FUCKING NOW, I'LL RIP THEM OUT MYSELF. DID I FUCKING STUTTER CADETS? GET THOSE GOD DAMN DICKS OUT
"buht sir I am a nigah"

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>>31590487

What the fuck?

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>>31590501
THE GUN BIT MY BOTTOM

NOW MY BOTTOM'S BIG

>>31590487
>they matched the robot's height with the other second graders
lel

>PA system screeches on as cadets awake.

>"The current time is 5:45 am. All cadets scheduled for long rifle training this morning are being transfered to PT for the duration due to unforseen events. In other news, whoever has the name of the cadet who Oberezed the entire Mosin armory please bring them forward. We're really not even that mad, it's actually sorta impressive."

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>>31590516

I'm afraid it's the bolter for you, commissar.

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alright class

identify this caliber

>>31590880
1700 Sexual Tyrannosaurus Express

>>31590516

you dare soil Sgt. Nygaard's good name for that lame bullshit? gtfo

> drill sergeant
DROP AND GIMME 20

> me, fat weeaboo neckbeard
> use my teleportation to instant transmission like goku in dragon ball z
> end up behind DS, pull katana out of thin air
> bring blade to throat

Nothin personal, kid

> mfw I graduated early even though I could barely walk normal

Alright, Who keeps stealing all the .303 British ammo?

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>>31590894

>>31591888
Me.

Stay away from my stash, or I'll bayonet you.

>ANUUUU VODKA BOTTLE IS WEAPON FRESHMAN cyкa блять

>>31591944
C'mon man, how the hell am I supposed to sight in my Enfield and my Bren?

>>31591973
Get a .308 Bren and an Ishapore .308 Enfield.

>>31590497
That happens in the regular military. Maybe not in the air force but for sure in the Army, Navy, and Marines

is that a famas?

Sarn't, when are those exercises in Rhodesia Again?

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So when do I get a gun?

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>>31592053

I have a spare mosin I could give you. Only condition is you have to be Passable


You know damn well what I mean

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>>31591950
Is True!

>>31590637
yea, that's whats funny about it.

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Guys! The new foreign exchange student is here.

>>31592098
What the fuck. This is /k/ academy, not gay academy.

>>31592183

>Implying they're not one and the same

>>31592157
Hey! His name is Sergei, right?

>>31590818
>Cadet Walks into office
>"Sir, there's a man from the Huffington Post here for you."

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>>31592183
What a fucking faggot

>>31590516

Stop memeing and go back to sleep, dave

>>31592239
>faggot
they're all named sergei

>>31592053
When you demonstrate you're not a miserable faggot.

By that I mean you know how to handle one safely, as a gun is only as dangerous as you make it. Also that you won't turncoat and push for laws to fuck our hobby up.

>>31592183
>thinking /k/ doesn't have gay shit

How long have you been here, newfriend?

>>31590454
Wouldn't it just be the a/k/ademy, then?

How long until there's an all-male orgy with dragon dildos, nugget bayonets and cosmoline as lub at the showers?

>>31594835
That was last week idiot.

>>31590454
>/k/ommandant's log, Day 5
>/k/ Military Academy

>Five days ago, I accepted an appointment as /k/ommandant of /k/ Military Academy. As head of the school I believed that I'd be able to steer these wayward souls with my military experience and understanding of human nature.
>My intent was honorable. I want to see these men become a competent, skilled fighting force. Organized, Disciplined, with a cohesive chain of command and clearly defined specialties led by senior officers that were skilled in strategy and planning.
>Yet here I am, a full week later, and I doubt that my noble goal will be possible.
>In this first week alone, hell, the first day, the depth of indescribable, inexplicable depravity I've witnessed would stop most men in their tracks, if not drive them insane immediately.
>Like most military academies, the school is organized into cohorts based on years attended. The difficultly at the war /k/ollege is that there is no clear standing for students OR faculty. It seems that most of the faculty are actually former students that simply refused to leave the campus, and used their seniority and idle hands to begin instruction, or at least, act as some sort of position of authority.
>Absent any rank, most faculty or students don't wear name tapes on their uniforms, or even wear something resembling a uniform. This includes simply not wearing anything at all.
>The XO of the renegade nuclear /k/arrier is a noted alum of the school, and before his "graduation" he was known for wearing belts of live PKM ammo, sandals made from a BTR-90 tire, a staggering amount of bodily hair, and not much else. A portrait of him is in one of the main halls, but defaced almost lovingly with lipstick and a dildo attached to the pelvic area of his portrait with a suction cup and some unidentifiable combination of gorilla glue and semen.
>The whole campus is in similar disarray. I do not know how I am to make any difference to such an uncivilized horde.

>>31595338
>/k/ommandant's diary, Day 24
>/k/ Military Academy

>I have given up on maintaining a log, as shortly after my last entry, my office was 'raided' by an eclectic throng of students to be defiled with blood red spray paint and sex toys while a stoic taller one in a beret played a painfully repetitive tune on an old accordion.
>Once the accordion player stopped, all of the attacking students immediately stopped destroying my office and almost calmly left the area, slapping each other with the sex toys instead of smashing my various remaining effects.
>The one good thing to come of this, is there is some sense of cohesion and command structure. While unorthodox, their tactics and uniformity for depravity might be sculpted into an effective set TTP's that might make the students of this school the most terrifying irregular force ever assembled.
>At some point in the assault on my office, my dress uniform I left hanging from a coat tree was defiled. The trousers were shredded methodically and left in pieces on the floor, to be replaced by a hula skirt made from methodically cut sheets of what appears to be Rhodesian woodland camo. My dress jacket was left somewhat intact - the sleeves were cut off, with a new sleeve from a leather jacket fitted with a shoulder pauldron was stapled crudely to one side, while the other was left cut off entirely. The buttons were torn off, and my ribbon rack was spray-painted red. On the back of the jacket, the same blood red aerosol paint was used to write 'KING FAGGOT' across the top of the back, with a large phallic shape sprayed beneath it.
>If they could leave me shaken, after all I've seen in worldly conflict, imagine just how terrifying this lot would be on the battlefield

>Weekly report.

>Slaviboos have occupied the field kitchen outhouse and have claimed that its occupants voted to join them.

>The war between the skinwalkers and the molemen have not yet concluded.

>We have run out of Feinstein targets.

>The Kebab Kannon has been completed. A test-fire is scheduled later today at an expendable target. We have not yet made the decision to target DC or San Francisco.

>>31595430
>/k/ommandant's diary, Day 30
>/k/ Military Academy

>For the first time since arriving, the student and faculty's daily chaos would acknowledge my presence.
>After being quite frighteningly, and effectively ignored for my entire first month, I began to wonder if I wasn't a ghost at times. This all changed when I opted out of curiosity to eschew my standand /k/ommandant's uniform and instead don the my old dress uniform that had been vandalized by that group from the week before.
>Immediately upon exiting the remains of my office, a passing student walked by. Like everyone else on this campus, he was wearing a very eclectic mix of obsolete military surplus combined with ridiculous, clown-like additions. The student in this instance was wearing desert BDU trousers held up by rainbow colored elastic suspenders, MOPP boots, and an ad-hoc face shield made from an empty Soviet-era ammunition tin. Over his shoulder, a Chinese SKS hung from a sling with its spike bayonet extended - the blade of which was made even longer by the welded-on addition of 2 feet of sharpened, polished rebar. The beaten wooden stock was covered in carvings of penises, female breasts, and various stickers one might find all over the notebooks of a 7 year old girl.
>The incredible thing, is that nothing about the student or weapon described above is remarkable on this campus. What was remarkable, is the fact that after donning my defiled uniform, he responded to me.
>"KING FAGGOT! HA!"
>After exclaiming that at the top of his lungs, he held his hand above his head in a traditional 'high five' gesture. After I returned the gesture, he slapped my hand sideways in an unexpected manner, belched loudly, and then continued walking down the hallway while nonchalantly scratching his groin with the same hand I just 'high fived'.
>I suppose I should start carrying a weapon of my own

>>31593065
What about Boris who was here last year?

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>>31595554
>>31595430
>>31595338
More

>>31590559
>the joke
>your head

>Inb4 Brady campaign, Moms against guns, and other such libtards surround the school.

Someone please write a short story around this Idea.

>>31595893
>unfortunately, they didn't read the sign about the land mines

bam. Story done.

>>31590454
SOMEONE PISSED THE CLEAN LAUNDRY AGAIN

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>>31592183
>This is /k/ academy, not gay academy.

>>31595554
Continue or be subject to courts martial, King Faggot

>>31595893
>Libs, cucks, MAG, Brady, and other children surround the school.

>Unfortunately for them, /k/ollege has claimed the grounds surrounding the building as their own country, and their student IDs are actually passports. US law does not apply here, not that they would notice since /k/ollege is innawoods.

>The slaviboos thrust their battle-hardened Nuggets into the air and URRRAAA as their Commissar yells at them to cut down the literal capitalist pigs.

>The molemen and the Bad Dragoneers come to an agreement. The Dragoneers would supply them with life-size silicone horsecocks to use as supports in areas where simple wood would go bad quicker than full fat milk. In exchange, they would allow access of their tunnels to the Dragoneers in order to assault the rear(s) of the protesters.

>The ARfags keep yelling MUD MUD MUD MUD to the AKfags.

>They were actually /ak/fags, and they're still trying to get an internet connection because they ran out of cell data. They will be released towards the protesters to confiscate their phones and other electronic devices so that reinforcements cannot be called.

>Meanwhile, Soros says "Go to /k/ollege" but BLM hears "Go to college." Not wanting to go to school cuz niggaz dun do school, they proceed with the Cultural Enrichment of his various orifices.