Self Defense Stories

guy boxed me into a parking spot and rushed my door shouting. I cracked the window and had my gun in hand while I talked to him.

apparently I had taken a spot that just opened up that he'd been waiting for.

guy almost caught a bullet for a parking spot.

>>31572437
Was coming home from baseball practice when I heard some female scream "GET OFF ME!" and "FIRE!" I was a bit confused but intrigued where the screaming was coming from. I followed the trail to a parked car with the windows cracked. Inside I made out two lumps, one of which seemed like it was flailing about. In a panic, I dashed over to the car, and swung my bat, shattering the windows. I then quickly tried to unlock the car, but I realized it was already unlocked (oops), so I opened the door and yanked this bloke right off the woman. He tried to put up a fight, but a couple body shots and swings to the head put him down cold. When I turned around to see if the woman was okay, she was just staring at me and my bloodied bat. I then had a jolt of fear go through me and I bolted the fuck out of there. The next day the news had reported a man was slain with multiple contusions but with no eyewitness reports. After seeing that. I washed the bat, my gym bag, and my clothes real good and threw them all the fuck out.

>>31573141
damn homie

>>31572437
Why is he sleeping in the grass? Drunk?

>>31573303
He's just tired. Can't a nigga take a nap without white people taking pictures and assuming he is drunk?

>>31572462
You're funny American I piss on the tree of liberty with your entitlement you're probably mixed race white and irish?hate mixed citenzenship can't really weed out the panther from the klan or the klux from black

>>31573357
Thought it might be a standard fall photo on campus of some freshmen who though he could chug 80 proof well liquor.

i had a meth head pull a 4 inch blade on me and stick it to my stomach. he demanded i give him my backpack. i live in portland, oregon. this happened downtown at 1am on a sunday night. i was a little tipsy but furious he did this, i immediately told him to eat shit and punched him in the face. im 6'2, 180. he was probably high as fuck 5,8, 160ish....he just ran. me too!

>>31573381
Nah man. Just a comfy dirt nap.

Not drawn, but I stabbed a motherfucker real good (britbong), not 100% sure he deaded but I'd be surprised if he lived.

Will share if people are interested?

>>31573434
Please share.

>>31573434
knife bro here. plz tell us the gory details.

>>31573368
I'm sorry what?

>>31573141
SELF defence mang.

> Be handful of years ago, roughly 4
> Live up North in an area that can be shady as fuck
> Got a big folding knife, about 5" blade
> Work in warehouse, so could use it for work since "Legitimate Reason"
> Probably about 2am
> Really want a McDonald's
> FuckIt.exe
> Take knife with
> Walking down weird ass alley-street thing that cuts 20mins off of walk
> See someone walking towards me with hood up
> fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
> Rest hand on knife
> "Give me your fucking money mate" + knife pull
> Dipshit is within arms reach
> Left straight to face
> Pull out knife while he's stunned
> Grab shoulder and push knife just below ribcage
> Instinctively wrench down with knife
> Can feel hand go down a lot
> Definitely fucked
> Pushed him back
> He drops
> Look at him, absolutely fucked
> Notice fucking huge amount of blood on me
> Stood for a couple of seconds because shock
> He hasn't moved
> Bolt it back home
> Wash clothes+knife vigorously
> Hide both in the walls
> Never even heard anything about it after.

The guy that got stabbed was someone who had been arrested a couple of times and did some really sketchy shit. The police probably noticed who it was and considered it "gang violence" or some shit, since him gone would've made their jobs easier.
>>31573445
>>31573465

this was about 2:30am walking back to my car from the bar. i had a hobo (maybe 5'6" and skinny, and im 6' and 220) approach me while i was crossing a bridge, asking for money. just me and him, no cars, no one else walking. it was a weekday so the streets were pretty dead. i said all i got is 20s and i aint giving you a 20. he asked for a cigarette and i said no, im almost out. then he pulled a screwdriver out of his pocket, pointed it at me, and said "gimmie whatever you got then," so i grabbed his hand with the screwdriver in it, put it over my shoulder, got my other arm under his crotch and picked him up fireman carry style, and threw him off the bridge. maybe 20-30 foot drop into deep water. i assume he survived since there was nothing on the news about a found body, but this was around late october in the midwest so that water was cold as fuck.

>>31573303

>mfw the lean to strong

>>31572437
>Ever had to draw on someone?
Once, at a house party. Guy passed out and I found a sharpie.

>Bonus points if you put them six feet under.
put him in a bush six feet below me.

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Why would someone admit such thing in an internet board? One of the biggest lies /k/ ever made me believe, was that i wanted to be in a self defense situation.

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>>31573141
are you this guy irl

>>31573979
We never said we wanted to, we're just talking about what to do/what we did.

>>31574025
I'm gonna drive like drive in drive

>>31573979
>Why would someone admit such thing in an internet board?
Because there are plenty of perfectly legal self defense situations every day in this country. Nothing criminal or shameful about defending yourself.

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>>31574047
Well, there goes a hint about what's gonna happen: everything you ever thought about shot placement and force escalation is going to be immediately forgotten the moment you get shot at.

You'll simply unload your firearm. Even after it's/him is at the ground. Fucking surreal.

>>31573836
Dope

I drew on a guy last Friday in the mid morning, I was hiking with a lady friend and he attacked us by throwing rocks, like big rocks, and threatening to kill me And saying he should kill me.

I drew on him and called 911, he left but got arrested. My voice was shaky but she didn't notice.

I also took her vcard the night before and she thinks I'm awesome nowand a hero and gave me her first blowjob, it was not awesome.

>>31573368
u wot m8

>>31572437
>many years ago
>fresh outta military
>working menial evening job while sorting out VA shit
>Coming home at 1am
>pull into alley behind apartment
>dumpster has been emptied
>furniture blocking alley
>OH SHIT! AMBUSH!!!
>no, wait, hold on, this isn't Iraq, I'm home now.
>put car in reverse
>four homeless looking slags run out from behind dumpster
>two run for front driver side, two for rear passenger side
>draw gun
>peel out
>clipped one of them trying to get behind me.
>fired a shot into the ground from my open window
>they scatter

I drove around for an hour before coming back. Luckily this was a neighborhood where people didn't call the cops over any fewer than five gunshots.

>>31574286
I know, I've been in a self defence situation.

>>31573368
Shit b8 m8

I shot a nigger in Akron, they chocked it up to black on black.

>>31573775
nice

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>>31572437
here seems like a good place to put this. I think I have latent serious mental issues. this happened about 4 weeks ago at my university if you don't believe it I don't blame you and I'm not going to argue about it either.

setup to this is that ive always been a social outcast, to the point where ive basically just become a loner, don't have many friends and don't socialize with a lot of people. this really doesn't bother me. I thought some other slipups of borderline autistic behavior in the past was just a result of social awkwardness but what happened a couple weeks ago was a complete loss of control

>be me, 19 y/o college student walking back to my dorm at around 11pm at night
>6'2" stick figure
>there was a phone alert about a week earlier of robberies that were happening on campus (at gunpoint but hey guns aren't allowed on campus right?)
>whatever.jpg
>what are the odds
>noggo approaches, slightly shorter than me, black sweatshirt, grey sweatpants, hood up
>blocks path in front of me
>'wallet and phone, turn out your pockets'
>wut.mp4
>street monkey repeats itself, I take a step back
>I know I'm not good at running but having long legs I can sprint pretty fast, even if not for long.
>it advances and pulls up its shirt
>theres what looks like a gun stuck in his waistband
at this point ive lost all control, I cant move, my mind is racing but looking back on it I didn't have that gut-wrenching heart thing that you would normally associate with fear
>'what are you going to do, shoot me over $5 and a phone you cant use?"
why the fuck did I say that?
>'I said take out your money and phone'
>"no"
what the fuck just give him your shit, you're going to get shot you fuck
>noggo motions towards the gun
>my mind is racing, I cant move or run.
>I'd have half a mind to fight if I had any upper body strength at all but that went out the window when he flashed the gun.
cont

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>>31573368

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>>31573368
??

>>31574414
very nice

Wasn't me but at my buddy "Johns" house drinking. He's confirmed to be violent sometimes when drinking (once rifle butt me three times in the face with a rifle for grabbing the barrel when he pointed it at another friend)
Anyhow on this night we'd been drinking hard like always. Another friend of mine (well call him Zed) is with us as are some other people we don't really know. Zed is making out with another dudes girlfriend while he's upstairs. Dude comes out, sees what's happening...
>Goes full trayboon and starts hitting the zed.
>Zed takes a black eye but lays a vicious beatdown on the dude in return.
>I'm chilling, meanwhile John is gone grabbing a notorious pellet rifle that has about 1,100 fps.
>The dude is pissed, goes out to his car and brings back a small machete.
>John points the rifle at his head, zed says that it can't do shit to him and charges.
>Pop
Swear to god blood shot 12 feet in the air. All over the ceiling, curtains, everything. Straight fucking Budd Dwyer status.
Zed drops like a rock "zeds dead baby"
But nah he's still alive, he's sputtering and all we hear is jibberish, not really sure how he's alive. The pellet didn't come out the back but went right through the front of his skull for sure.
We're all shit faced, like fuck fuck fuck that just happened.
We take him outside, his girlfriend has left by now. Zed says im gone home...
He stumbles off and we forget about it. A few months later we see him in the grocery store, he's gone full retard.
Pretty fucked up and nothing I would have liked to been part of.

>>31573836
>chucked a hobo off a bridge!

you win storytime.

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>>31574463


>"I'd imagine that's either not a real gun or you aren't willing to use it"
>'the fuck did you just say'
the fuck DID I just say, I'm going to get fucking shot. no matter how much I try I cant get my body to move, like I'm just sitting back seat and my subconscious took the wheel.
>"if you didn't load that with gloves on the police will find you if you use it"
> noggo might be seeing the light of day
>my minds still racing, nobody's around, I wouldn't risk trying to call for help if someone isn't really close by
>"how did you pick me as a target? you obviously didn't take size difference into account. nor did you think about whether I might be armed myself or not"
(I was wearing a sweatshirt so it would have been hard to tell how skinny I was and I did have a fox karambit on me)
ive lost all hope at this point. I'm trying to get a list together of what to do when I'm lying on the sidewalk bleeding out. currently its 1 fight to keep my phone to call police or ambulance, 2 stop bleeding, keep pressure on entry/exit wounds, 3 try not to black out before help comes
>'fuck you'
>noggo turns around and fucking leaves
>not even a goodbye or anything, just fucking walks around the corner, then assumingly books it afterwards
>I snap out of whatever the fuck that was and promptly throw up all over the sidewalk and eventually into the bushes.
>call the cops, another campus alert is put out
>they catch the guy the next day
I should probably look for help

Me and my girlfriend lived in a small, relatively safe apartment complex a few years ago.

One night while we're asleep in bed, we're jolted awake by the sound of somebody pounding on the front door. I jump up and grab the pardner protector I used for home defense at the time. I check the flashlight quickly and tell my girlfriend to get her phone out and get ready to call 911.

When I get into the short hallway from the bedroom I can hear a man shouting assertively on the other side of the door, "open up". I quietly move through the living room to the door and flip on the security light, but it doesn't come on.

At this point my adrenaline really kicks in because I know the bulb works, all hopes of a drunk college kid who got lost, or somebody looking for their friend's apartment go out the door, because I know the person must've disabled the light.

I shout through the door "who the fuck is it", and the voice quickly responds "open the door or I'll kick it in".

I whip open the door, while stepping back and off to an angle, shoulder the shotgun, and trigger the light...

And I see a fully uniformed city cop. I immediately drop the muzzle and toss the gun away, put up my hands and say "uh sorry officer". The cop hasn't even drawn, still has his hand on the butt of his pistol with the most confused look I have ever seen on somebody's face. And he just says "what's going on here?".

My girlfriend is around the corner in the hallway and comes out when she hears me say "officer". We simultaneously say "what?!" In response to the cop.

He tells us they got a call about a fight going on at this address, but it was obvious he knew he was at the wrong place, so he confirms the address and it's ours, but since there was nothing going on he just said "sorry I scared you".

I replied "yeah, same" and closed the door.

>>31573836

Perfect.

>>31574586
Literal white trash

>>31573368

>when you're shitposting and the schizophrenia hits

>>31574656
>open the door or I'll kick it in
He is lucky he didn't catch lead through the door. He didn't identify himself as police prior to this? WTF?

>>31574586
Kill your friends and then yourself.

>>31573368
anyone feel euphoric after reading this?

>>31574796
>shoot through the door

Nah man. Not into it, got to positively ID your target, this incident really burned that into my brain.

>why didn't he ID himself

To this day I can't figure that out. I was in the national guard at the time and there were some cops in my unit and I asked them about it. They all said they agreed with unscrewing the light and said they do that often at a call like a fight/domestic. But all of them said not IDing himself was insane. He must've been new.

Also, I've never been a cop, but I'd think if you get called about a fight, and a dude answers the door with a gun, you'd maybe want to investigate a little farther.

He was clearly shaken up by it.

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>>31573368

>>31573417

Kek at meth heads running from skellyfags

itt: stories from the trailer park

>Watching tv late at night.
>Thud on my door.
>Grab 92fs, another thud.
>This faggot is taking three second breaks from kicking my door.
>Unlock the deadbolt between the third kick and open the door just a little bit.
>Watch a respectable citizen spill through my door and faceplant into the hallway.
>Inform him that he fucked up as the door closes behind me, gun drawn.
>Takes a good five minutes for the cops to show.
>Tyrone claims I lured him into the home.
>Officer notices the damage to the frame of my door.
>His car was still parked in front of my house, his gf was hiding in the seat.
>He took the keys with him so she was stuck while he tried to rob me,

>>31573141
>just staring at me
Goddam women are fucking useless. Also pretty cool you got to cave some dudes head in after baseball, what a relaxing day.

>>31574609
>not even a goodbye or anything
Wow man what a dick

>>31575185
>not just shooting him
mediocre

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>>31574224

>>31574656
I call bullshit or fake cop

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Not me, but pic still related.

>>31575238
I mean if you are going to be a pussy about robbing the retarded kid, you can at least have some common decency

>>31574586
stopped reading after second line, kill yourself

>>31575303
It's not like I can prove it. He definitely wasn't a fake cop.

>>31573368
What?

>>31575303
Or rookie? You don't really know just when an inexperienced or stupid guy is going to fuck up like that

>>31575253
Why give Tyrone's "GF" a chance to sue anon for killing her "sole provider"?

>>31573368
did you have a stroke while attempting to shitpost

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>>31572437
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCUMv120oCw

"What is it like to fire an AR-15? It’s horrifying, menacing and very very loud.

It felt to me like a bazooka — and sounded like a cannon.

But mostly, I was just terrified.

Squeeze lightly on the trigger and the resulting explosion of firepower is humbling and deafening (even with ear protection).

The recoil bruised my shoulder, which can happen if you don't know what you're doing. The brass shell casings disoriented me as they flew past my face. The smell of sulfur and destruction made me sick. The explosions — loud like a bomb — gave me a temporary form of PTSD. For at least an hour after firing the gun just a few times, I was anxious and irritable."

Gersh Kuntzman
Globalist Propagandist
New York Daily News

>>31575519
Just realized this about his name but he should really remove that 'man' bit.

>>31575519
wasnt a nigger shooting with a ar-15 on his nose to call his bullshit the other day?

>>31574376
of all the stories, this is the most believable

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I use to keep a frost cutlery (yes I know, shit quality but fuck You it's a big fucking knife) expendables musso Bowie in between the center console and drivers seat of my car.
Now I keep pic related, a tackle box, collapsible fishing pole and net in my back seat and the box and club in my front seat. Anyways, I've got stories for both.

Musso Bowie
>I stay out of big cities because niggers and sandniggers(no I'm not a europoor)
>I'm helping friend move all day and we get done around 10pm
>pull up to stop light and here comes saint trayvon of the white hoodie
>hits my window and says "gimme whatchu got mang!"
>I pull very big knife from center console and ask if he really wants to film flam the zim zam
>he sees big knife and and starts talking about it was just a joke
>floor it out of town because fuck niggers

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>>31575667
Now for the catfish club story
>be me
>innacity for wedding
>late around 2am after reception
>walk to my car in parking garage
>I get in car
>start flipping through instagram before I start driving
>10 minutes go by and surprise, a wild hobo appears
>got a light, man?
>noteventryinganymore.png
>no
>got any change?
>no
>tries to open my door so I let him
>as he gets it open I step out and somehow manage to shatter his collarbone with my shillelagh in the same motion
>I felt it connect and break it
>he goes down and in true self defense fashion I make sure threat is no longer a threat and hit a knee and ribcage
>teleport behind him
>nothing personal, kid

>>31574586
Do you drink cat piss for breakfast?

>>31575583
Some guy did it with an AR sitting on his balls even.

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>>31575829
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch. I'll have you know my name is Mc'Mick, and I woke up this morning 5:30 sharp to the smell of wet pussy. I was getting a blowjob from two bitches (Shit was SO Cash), one was trying to fit my humongous 3 pound balls in her mouth while the other was choking halfway on my 18 and 3\8 inch dick. She started to squirt hard, she was convulsing and having 6 orgasms at the same time. I gave it to them and they were on the floor squirting like motherfucking fountains. Must have come about a quart of sperm and compressed air. Imagine your best orgasm, then multiply it by 35. I had to go to base camp so I front-flipped from my 14th floor barracks into my valet parked 2012 Ferrari (I got connexions). Pushed my shit to about 4 hundo (mph, mind you) and I was at base camp in no time. When I entered, I became a top sniper and was granted access to the entire arsenal of the USMC. I learned how to kill someone in over 700 different ways and was assigned to be the leader of a squad that will kill 300 terrorists using gorilla warfare tactics. Also did 6000 push-ups, 8000 sit-ups and bench-pressed 30 plates in 16 minutes. After basic training, I met a network of secret spies who will help me trace your IP address, while eating gold plated sushi and 15,000 $ champagne. My unit got the rest of the day off and I became captain of our base's football team and starter of the basketball team. I got straight A's on the military entrance exams and received more awards. Meanwhile, you were jacking off to pictures on Facebook and naked drawn Japanese people. Went back in the Lambo to my barracks and now I am getting ready to go to sleep. I am going to graduate at the top of my class in the Navy Seals tomorrow and I want to look pretty much perfect for it. Don't be a stranger and remember, I did more in one day than you will your entire life

>>31574318
kek, good job
I feel for you in terms of shitty first blowjobs.
Keep in mind that she's probably nervous about giving them and is aware that it probably isnt a good BJ. So feel free to give her tips on it. My girlfriend was a virgin and I tought her how to give great head/ (attempt) to deepthroat

>>31574318
Was it a negro? Why did it attack?

>>31575519
just realized that guy is probably screaming beause of no earpro

true story about my uncle the weeb marine coming in

>Uncle lives in shitty neighborhood just outside of city
>works as night guard for museum so sleep schedule is reversed
>4am
>Uncle is enjoying his night off
>working on some stupid fucking thing in his bedroom (probably miniature WWII battleship)
>sound coming from downstairs
>ohgreat.jpg
>grabs Arisaka(? I can't remember exactly what rifle he used)
>sneaks down stairs
that's the most impressive part of the story because you couldn't breath in this house without it creaking
>sure enough dindu is rooting through his shit
>the dindu, in his ultimate wisdom, decides to use a katana he was stealing against the former marine armed with a rifle
>Uncle decides to be a moral fag and not shoot the kid
>hits dindu in the lip with butt of the rifle so hard kid does a 90 degree turn
>grabs the katana and puts the kid in a headlock with it
when I say he's a weeb, he isn't taking half measures, he knows fluent japaneese and took kendo for about 8 years
>uncle tells the kid he'll walk over to the phone, then he has to call the police and tell them he broke into the house
>"911 what's your emergency?"
>"I'm in this fat guy's house, and he's got a sword to my throat"
>"you've been abducted?"
>"...no, I... broke in"
>cops show up a few minutes later
>arrest the kid
>dindu got off with probation because he's a minor

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>>31576331
>>"911 what's your emergency?"
>>"I'm in this fat guy's house, and he's got a sword to my throat"

>>31575214
I'd be in shock too If somebody just got murdered in front of me.

>>31574286
>That loose as fuck plate carrier
>That old as fuck PDW
> No Helmet

0/10 police

>>31575331
>giving a fuck about some half breed mongrel
lmao

>>31572437
>Ever had to draw on someone?

Wasn't in self defense, but in relation to a drug deal.

>>31574656
Fake cop, they are required to identify as police.

>>31572437
no but I brandished a machete and chased a dude out of my garage
never seen a nig move so fast

>>31574656
>opening the door for police
did you learn your lesson, retard?

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>>31576331
>>"you've been abducted?"
>>"...no, I... broke in"

>>31573836
You should have Bane'd his ass

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>>31572437
Okay its getting slow so I'll do one.
>Be fresh 21
>Had handgun for about a week but have used them all my life.
>Go to at the time girlfriends place for some home made lumpia
>Fuckyeslumpia
>She lives in kinda bad area but not THAT bad.
>Pull up in my 99 Pontiac GTP
>Have to park kinda far away because no assigned parking and it's a Sunday night
>Sit in car for a moment to call her and tell her to unlock the security door to the stairwell
>Sudden Google appears near driver side tail light
>Preemptively draw my FNX 9mm loaded with Barnes 9mm HP
>Begin looking around quickly for other threats
>See secondary at corner of Chevy in space next to me
>Google prime advances towards my window and knocks gently
>Roll down a very slight amount and say "Can I help you?"
>He tells me to hand over my wallet (Timberland), phone (iPhone 5s), watch (G-Shock) and my keys and step out of the vehicle
>Say "Alright but my window is jammed, I have to step out first."
>Google prime looks at google secondary for approval
>Nods
>Google prime steps into path of my door's swing distance
>2ez.jpeg
>With one foot out I door checked him, of which he caught the brunt to the knee
>Pull gun.exe up aimed at prime while eye contact with secondary
>Secondary sprints away at mach 7, previously recorded speed of niggers never seen
>Prime on ground screaming at me in aborigonese or chinese or some other language I don't speak.
>Call cops
>Police arrive and take Google prime away, the caught secondary after prime turned him in
>Turns out prime broke his wrist when he fell from the door and had to get pins put in,
>Went upstairs and had bomb fucking lumpia with rice and had a good evening.

Pic Related, it's almost identical to the car I fucked his knee with

did they filter the word nigger?

>>31576810
yes

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>>31573368
Wut

negroid

>>31576777
>lumpia

duterte pls

>>31576844
What do you have against well wrapped meat and cheese pockets dropped into a deep frying for like 2 minutes then eaten?

>>31575331
That makes me smile

>>31576472
Oh come on, it's not like he would fire it at mudslimes or negroes - that would be racist, and a hate crime!

And please don't call machine pistols PDWs :)

>>31576777
>Sudden Google
Lol, I didn't know that one. :-P

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Google&defid=10272812

>>31576892
Wasn't sure if there was a difference once it has a stock. Care to explain please? Not trolling, I legitimately want to know

>>31576810
No, it's just a thong /pol/ is trying to do.
They are trying to get the algorithm to recognize niggers as "Google"

>>31576902
That one came about during the riots and the faggotry that Google was doing with search censorship.

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>>31573613
I said exactly this out load when I read what Anon posted.

>>31574864
its calming

HEY!
So I can just fire a few shots at the ground and the dirty Googles will just run away?

>>31572437
>Sleeping in on a Saturday
>Get awoken by unfamiliar voice in living room
>Wife had let a "door to door vacuum salesman" into the apartment
>It's just some shifty nigger with no uniform demoing the same fucking shit you can buy at Wal-mart
>"Well that's queer," I think to myself
>Point out our vacuum in the corner and ask him to leave
>"Oh er...well I gotta have my supervisor come verify I did the presentation"
>Not buying this bullshit, went back to bedroom and retrieved HD Glock while he was on the phone, come out facing front door from long hallway with gun behind my back, slide locked with loaded mag in
>His "supervisor" is a tweaker who immediately and obviously starts casing the apt
>"Oh that's a nice TV, what is that, 65 inch? Oh cool computer, I bet it cost a lot to put those LEDs in there..."
>Release slide behind back with a loud click
>"Y'all surely didn't miss the no solicitors sign now, did you? You might wanna leave."
>Tweaker puts hands up and slowly backs out, nigger books it past him at full speed without the vacuum
>Called cops after and apparently these two had been beating/robbing people after scamming their way inside with the vacuum bit for a few weeks
>Still to this day use the incident to guilt wife into sex

Probably was technically brandishing and probably could have gotten away with just shooting them but hindsight's 20/20 and I wasn't 100% sure they were crooks until speaking to the cops. Hence why I made it known the gun was there without displaying/pointing it. I'm sure self defense trainers would throw a shitfit over it but the situation was de-escalated, no one got hurt, and the bastards didn't come back so I'm alright with the outcome.

>Bedroom window next to driveway
>Summer night, its warm out so window is open
>Up late gaming, 3:00am finally go to bed
>Turn lights off, neighborhood silent
>Some time passes, laying in bed still awake
>Hear movement in gravel driveway
>Grinding metal sounds coming from my truck
>Peak out window and see a dindu with a screwdriver trying to break in
>Climb out of bed and quietly move to front door, silently open it
>Didn't even have time to put pants or a shirt on
>Just my Nike's and tactical underwear
>Become enraged watching this retard destroying my passenger door
>Explode out the door and try to run him down
>Screaming and yelling racial slurs and shit
>Look of horror on his face, turns to run away
>Pants too baggy, shoes not laced properly
>He only makes it to the end of my long driveway before I catch him
>Take him down to the ground and slam his face into the gravel
>Repeat a few too many times
>Seeing red at this point, start swinging
>How dare you touch my property
>Beating him pretty bad, blood everywhere
>He's struggling but I'm bigger and on top of him now still laying into him
>Think I knocked a couple teeth out
>Dindu isn't moving or struggling anymore
>Oh shit
>Get up and look
>Not moving
>Shieeet...
>Cautiously turn him over, face up
>The sharp gravel tore his entire face apart, bloody fucking mess
>Teeth are indeed missing
>He's still breathing though, thankfully
>Waited a minute or two trying to calm down, neither of us doing anything
>He starts trying to babble some shit at me in ebonics
>Couldn't decipher any of it, told him to shut the fuck up
>Pulled him from the ground and yelled a few pretty nasty threats
>Kicked him hard in the back, spat on him, and sent him limping down the alley
>Went inside, loaded my 12 gauge, and washed up
>Slept well

That was the first incident

I don't even live in a bad neighborhood, mostly middle aged white people and some asians

>>31577308
First?
Tell more.

>>31577084
>brandishing
>in your own home
Hmm...

My story is shit, especially compared to hobo toss. Here it is anyway.

>high school student
>walking home
>to lazy to work for car
>chevy blazer speeds by
>44 oz. drink flys at me
>nearly hits
>soda explosion
>bunch of shit screamed at me
>most of it gay/fag
>they hit the red light
>I see them
>flip the bird
>retort with insults
>green light
>they're gone
>see them come back the other way
>come back around
>they turn into neighborhood street ahead of me
>get out the folder my father had given to me
>lock blade open
>conceal it in my hand/up sleave
>four whiggers approaching, yelling
>I'm filled with rage(hate when fags use a group to feel strong)
>don't back down
>tell them to start it if they are serious
>we are all talking shit
>one of the shits sees my poorly hidden knife
>ghost faces
>will remember his faggy ginger face the rest of my life
>thoughts go through my head
>can't let them wrestle my knife away
>got to gut at least one
>sick feeling in stomach
>thinking about how killing one will ruin life
>they just smugly walk away feeling they are still justified in being total fags

Lame story, but it's the closest I have to self defense. Sorry /k/

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>Day off, watching Cops
>Doorbell rings
>Get up to answer it
>On my way to the door look out the front window which gives a view of the driveway
>No car. That's unusual.
>Peek out the window next to the front door
>There is a stranger at the door, I've never seen him before
>Black, slightly taller than me, slightly more muscular than me, generally well kept appearance
>Between the lack of a vehicle and the fact he's a stranger (I live in the country, nobody just randomly walks up to your house without a reason) I decide to get my handgun
>Load it, one in the chamber, single action mode, safety off
>Go back to the front door and open it
>Holding my gun hidden behind my lower back in my right hand. I tried to keep it hidden in case it was just a courier or something.
>He now has the safety screen open (it was unlocked) and we stand face to face
>He has a kind of deer in the headlights look
>Wait a second for him to state his business
>He takes a step over the threshold
>I take a step back to keep distance
>Time slows, adrenaline kicks in
>He takes another step in, now raising his right arm as if he is going to grab me or shove me
>Meanwhile, I am drawing my gun from behind my back
>Im still moving backwards in slow motion, I panic because I start to feel unbalanced due to poor footwork
>As I move my finger from the trigger guard to the trigger, I accidently jerk the trigger
>Gun discharges while it was still behind my back
>Bullet barely misses my left hand, ricochets off the floor and lodges itself in the wall
>Dazed by the gunshot, I pause for a second thinking I might have just shot myself
>He instantly turns and runs away at full sprint
>By the time my sights are on him it's obvious he is no longer a threat
>Slamed the door, locked it and called 911

I really kick myself over the whole incident. Keeping it in single action was a poor choice, I would have had him if I had switched to double action. Pic related, it's the floor the bullet bounced off of.

>>31574586
So, a man was basically lobotomized by a pellet gun over a woman? Cruel.

>Caught a cab to friends place
>Tell cab driver to mind my shit while I check out friends new place
>Friends not home
>Go downstairs to find taxi driver getting robbed for my shit
>Couple of junkies holding their guns sideways at us whilst jacking my case
>Draw my magic H&K USP doody pistol
>Double tap scumbag who's holding my case
>His dumbshit friend tries to draw but gets his sight stuck in his waistband like a noob
>Shoot the noob
>Take my briefcase back from the junkies
>First dingus is still alive so I pump his forehead with another round for good luck
>Taxi driver commends me on my prowess
>Go home and sleep like a log

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I got a few webms about gun use. I like to contemplate whether the shooter could claim self defense.

Definitely not in this one.

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>>31572462

>>31577456
On the first round? Maybe.
The second and third round to the head?
Nah.

>>31577452
Go home, Vincent.

>>31573141
bretty cool

>>31577485
Really curious about the story on this one.

>>31577485
sauce
how the fuck did he keep getting back up

>>31577485
What the fuck happened there?

>>31577469
Operator/10

>>31577495
Israel. Some hashish smoking Palestinian decided to go on a killing spree.

>>31574609
10/10 charisma speech check passed +17 exp

>>31572437
yea I drew on ur mum

the only thing that got buried was my dick in her vagoo

>>31577308
>boots and tactical underwear
>nignog going for your truck
Is your name Derek Vineyard?

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I wouldn't call this a CCW scenario, but it's still interesting to see how people will just sit there in disbelief while a person gets shot.

>>31577572
I don't know why, but I find it interesting that he took his hat off before blowing his brains out. Why? I mean... what was the reasoning/logic behind it? Also, check out the woman-looking person to the right who's basically passed out by the end of it. Crazy.

>>31577572
"Oh right, almost forgot the second half of my purpose here".

>>31576923
More powerful cartridge.

>>31577456
definitely not?

The guy attacked him with a two-by-four, how is shooting him in the head not warranted?

>>31577605

i guess he just wanted to make sure he didn't fuck up by grazing his head

>>31574609
Don't worry, you'll acclimate to high stress.

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>>31577636
Do on to others as you would have do on to yourself. You wouldn't want to be shot in the head for attacking someone with a stick, so you shouldn't headshot someone attacking you with a stick. Right?

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Despite the filename, I've heard that this was actually a failed hit on two tipped off cartel guys in mexico.

>>31577499
poor shot placement plus adrenalin and drugs.

>>31577676

so a bunch of redguards break into your house with melee weapons all you can use is a melee weapon?

>>31577084
>"brandishing"
>in your home

nigger please, you told them to get the fuck out

>>31577691
That is what BLM riots over, yes.

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>>31573368

>>31573368
A-are you okay? Anon?

>>31577485
>treat people like Palestinians
>get Palestinians

Fuck Jews.

>>31575966
>namefagging
take your stories to Reddit if a name is so important to you, it'll lower the running costs here

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>>31577762
What do you mean by that?

>>31577817
not that hard to understand.

>create warsaw ghetto 2.0
>"why are they trying to fight back lol"

>>31573141
You're a physcopath and a murderer

>>31577843
Pretty sure the muslims started it.

>>31577469
>tries to rob guy
>guy passes perception check to unhamered pistol
>passes agility check for insta draw
glorious

>>31577452
>shoot the noob
10/10

>>31577676
If I attack someone I expect they might kill me. What the fuck is wrong with you faggots who cry about fair fights?

>>31577843
this is true, but on the other hand, palestinians attack innocent people at random including women and children

desu both sides of the conflict are awful

inb4 image macro with the flame shirt guy

>>31573836
Kek! No broken bones sadly so you get the hobo go easy. 4/5

>>31574609
Hey m8 i'll gib 5/5
>such charisma. Such speech skills.
>luck: Kekked

>>31578007
>>31574609
Speech skill check: passed
+300exp

>>31575936
damn son I wonder if thats a legit way to masturbate

>>31577084
>preteding to be door2door salesman
That's actually not a bad tactic, too bad niggers could'nt figure it out

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>>31573368

>>31574414
is this coming from the child who cries to /arg/ about losing his girl friend?

>>31577676
a battle for life is never fair faggot. meet force with equal or greater force for self preservation. dont be such a nigger

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>>31575185
>his gf was hiding in the seat.
This made me laugh. Picture related

>>31576331
True victory.

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>>31573368

>>31576777
>things that never happened

>>31574878

Probably thinking about how identifying himself as Billy Badass and not The Police almost got him fucking shot.

>>31573775
You dont type like a bong at all, but I'm going to believe you anyways because justice always wins.

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>>31573930
That was awful.

>>31577676
>that webm

Christ what a bunch of pussies, just tackle him for fucks sake.

>>31573775
>>31573141
Is getting away with murder really this easy?

>>31577515
*CHING*

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>>31573368

>that kid who barely speaks english finds the most "cool and edgy" place on the internet and wants to blend in

>>31577421
was he just not saying anything?

One time I punched a guy in a bar. That's really it for self defense.

>>31579673
Read Homicide Life on the Killing streets one time. Even with modern tech, and this was written in 89 but the point still stands, detective work is extremely hard due to the legal system and what not. Really interesting read most of the time if the murderer plays it cool even when they know they did it, it's impossible to get a conviction without a confession

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>>31573368

5 star shitpost

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>staying at grandads in norfolk
>He has a deactivated Martini Henry mounted on his wall above the fireplace
>bayonet still fixed
>bonerus maximus
>asleep in the downstairs guest room
>hear the fence creaking outside, and what sounds like someone climbing over it
>look at the window
>see a black figure walk past the window towards the front door
>hear the fence creak again
>second figure jumps over but falls
>hear him suck air through his teeth and mutter "my fuckin ankle bruv"
>the other one shushes him
>tiptoe out of bed to the front room
>can hear footsteps on the concrete just outside the front door
>retrieve Martini Henry from it's mount
>can hear the door handle being fiddled with
>it's the oldest shittest door ever, shoving a pen through the lock would probably open it
>the decide to boot the door down anyway
>rifle in hand, bayonet fixed, one stab to multiple enemies, targets to my front, EN GARDE
>nows my chance to scare them shitless with my war cry, say something epic so that I remember this most badass moment in my life
>"H-HAVE AT IT YOU MINTY SMELLING CUNTS"
>ADVANCE
>charge at the door at full speed
>all the way out into the driveway
>they're not even there anymore
>grandad bounds down the stairs and outside
>"what the fuck are you doing you tit?"
>"b-burglars grandad"
>"Put that down and go to fucking bed"

He's never been burgled since though

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>>31573775
Nice!

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>>31573368
Look at all the
> (you)

>>31573368
sounds like someone downloaded the ifunny app

New Orleans, about a dozen years ago. Was in a bar on Bourbon Street, guy harassing a woman, I ignored them at first. Not my business and if she wants to be a big girl and hang out in bars alone she can deal with the big girl attention she attracts. Eventually, bartender tells the guy to knock it off. He doesn't. Bartender tells him to leave. He throws a mug at the bartender, it hits the tap and bounces off into my face. I stand up, grab him by the shirt, punch him on the button and he immediately goes night-night. Bartender calls the cops, tells them this guy was harassing the lady, refusing to leave, and attacked me, they call EMS and he goes to the hospital. I wasn't sure if he was arrested after.
Fast forward, next night I go to the same bar just intending to get the bartender's name and say thanks. When I walk in, full retard guy from last night is in an argument with the SAME bartender who won't serve him and has told him to leave. No fucking shit.
I turn around to just leave, and this dude starts yelling, talking shit and fast-walking up to me. I think I'm going to be smart and ignore him, he punches me in the head from behind. I go full rage machine and throw him onto the ground, grab a metal napkin holder off the table, and proceed to beat the holy fuck out of him with it. I actually only stopped when the amount of blood and disfigurement sort of scared me, I probably hit him eight or ten times in the head and face, and he's once again unconscious. Look up, cops are there yelling for me to drop it, put me in cuffs, talk to bartender, take cuffs off me, EMS arrives, off he goes, all in like five minutes. Bartender brings me a steak, fries, and a pitcher of beer. I thank him, he says "don't thank me. That dude you beat up bought a round of drinks for the entire bar and tipped really good. I remember him having a steak dinner and a pitcher of beer, too." I must have looked confused, he held up a wallet and grinned. I know it was wrong, but cool as fuck.

>>31577683
That was a sick move by the guy at the counter

>>31580331
That bartender's fucking rad.

>>31574318
I think I remember you. You're the homosex that drew on a teenager aren't you.

>>31580331
I approve of that bartender.

>>31573775

>"Give me your money mate"

I'm gonna guess Liverpool then?

>>31579673
It is and it isnt. If the deceased was a complete stranger than it is fairly easy. Couple that with the fact it was a parking lot with "CSI" type evidence from a million people... the only one who will ever know is God.

>>31580817
Right away they blame the scouser. Kek

>>31575346
kek

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>>31574609

>>31577084
Sounds like your wife needs to lessons on home security.

>Filling up at gas station on way to work
>Have a TDI and there is only one diesel pump
>Usually after getting in my car I'll adjust radio, take a chug of coffee, etc before pulling away
>I see big ole pickemup truck and know its also diesel and he'll want this pump
>Be nice guy and go pull away before radio, etc to be a nice guy
>I'm pulling away and he starts pulling in
>Lady whips into lot right in front of me and I have to slam on my brakes so as to not smash the cunt
>Truck lays on his horn as if I stopped short to fuck with him or summat
>Put hand out the window and point at idiot lady and he honks more
>Keep hand out window and flip him off
>Pull out and up to exit from lot to the street and wait for traffic to pass
>Happen to look over ma shoulder and Truckdude is getting out of his hillbilly mobile and making a fast beeline towards me
>Big stocky hick screaming at me for flipping him off, beet red and still advancing
>Grab Beretta from passenger seat and point it at him
>Takes him 2secs to register whats now pointing at him and then he shits brix and runs
>Pull the fuck out of lot and go about my day
>Gas station is in my town so I get a call from town sheriff
>Hick reported my license plates and said I got out of my car waving a gun around like a madman
>Meet him at polis station that night after work to give him report
>Im not a big guy sir, he was, I was threatened, danger of imminent physical threat, only pointed at him etc
>Sherf tries being a hard man an tries to get me to "confess"
>Pick up phone and call gas station owner who I happened to go to school with
>Please send a copy of camera videos from this morning to "Barney Fife" so he knows to stop fucking with me
>"Oh! Well if there is evidence that you were threatened then you are free to leave"
>Get up to go but cant without first asking "Did you get "evidence" from hickbilly?"
>"Um. Um. Stutter stutter
>Thought so

All for trying to be a nice guy.

>>31574586
I feel like you're just trying to call zed a retard. Does he even post here anymore?

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>>31573368

>>31574318
Lmao aren't you the bi guy from the other thread

>>31577676
Bullshit.

You can easily be killed by blunt trauma from something like that, therefore you are justified in using lethal force to stop somebody attacking you with something like a bat or 2x4.

Also, I would never attack somebody like that. Decent human being don't do shit like that.

>>31581310
Wow, that dude looks so RACIST! You just KNOW he's shouting nigger back at those black guys, and just LOOK at that! The blackest dude is in the BACK seat, and I bet Trump TOLD him to sit back there, too! Racist BIGOT. Saying "Smile for the camera, niggers, so they don't know I'm a racist who hates you cotton-pickin', chicken-eatin' niggers."

Seriously though, fuck SJWs. I hope Trump wins. To Hell with America if he truly does end up fucking it. It'd be a WHOLE lot worse under Hillary!

>>31579749
Neither of us said anything during the entire exchange. As far as I'm concerned, he made his intentions clear when he took a step inside my house.

>>31581476
Hillary is a truly evil person.

Back when she was a lawyer she chose to defend a child rapist who nearly murdered the victim. She knew he was guilty but played technicalities to let him eventually walk with two months in country jail and her argument was basically 'the victim tried to get the man's attention with sexual games and thus provoked her own rape, it was her fault'.

Trump is kinda a raving loon with no brain-mouth filter but Hillary is pure ice cold evil down to her fucking bone marrow.

I keep hoping she gets a seizure and dies on camera.

>>31581539
>She knew he was guilty but played technicalities
This the thing i don't get about defense (((lawyers))). Ensuring a fair trial doesn't mean that you game the system to get degenerate scum off the hook.

How could you do that and sleep at night?

>>31581590
Apparently on top of a pile of money and with Huma Abadin next to you.

>>31579673

Yes and no.

Yes and that many many crimes are committed in areas with semi-incompetent and overburdened PDs. If it doesn't wrap itself up and there aren't obvious leads you might get away.

But if someone with half a brain does get a lead and the funds to follow you. You're fucked outside of running and staying under the radar for a few years.

>>31581052
Fakkin norvern monkeys

>>31573141
Damn

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>>31581292
>providing any information to an officer without an attorney present
Yeah, nah.

>>31581590
She took the case as a favor, he didn't even come to her, a friend of hers asked it to take him on.

There's a phone tape of her talking about it years later. Apparently she considered it an interesting intellectual challenge and quite satisfying to get him off the hook despite the mountain of evidence against him.

She treated it like a game and didn't give a shit, she legitimately tormented the victim by claiming that it was her own fault she got raped, and somehow that worked.

>>31572437
gee, i hope he's okay

>>31576047
My wife was a virgin and she gave me the best BJ I ever had. She claims it was from studying all the Yaoi.

>>31574878
I almost shot my sister and her boyfriend through the door after the power in our house had cut out, there was a gang of robbers that whould cut the power to peoples homes and thenn break in.

>>31581724
Go back to /tv/. Youve seen to many movies to be of any use to us here.

>>31574609
>Ifunny
Fake, gay, and disregarded.

>>31581539
>has seizure and dies in camera
I want that too, but for both candidates.

>>31577843
>>31577940
>implying ragheads dont start literally everything
Doesnt matter if youre bulldozing their houses or inviting them to Europe and giving them free stuff, either way they will always chimp out and stab and rape.
They are a savage, barbaric people, they get what they deserve.

>>31581052

I feel it's a reasonable assumption, only two types of people I've met who call people "Mate" are scousers and Essex tossers, and the latter such gigantic vaginas that they wouldn't attempt to mug someone.

Throw in the knife violence, you've got yourself a dead-certain scouser!

>>31574318
I remember this.
Gay Glock 19 guy right?

>>31574224
You're a real human bean.

>>31582018
I know and talk to regularly 2 guys from Eng that are both scouse. I guess I never noticed til now their propensity to say the word "mate". But they do always say they get blamed for everything so thats why I had a giggle.

>>31573368
Sorry, we don't speak autism.

>>31576539
>implying cops follow the law

>>31577817
Sauce

>>31577084
you guilt your wife into sex? are you that repulsive?

>>31582400
t. unmarried faggot

>>31579785
I'll put it on the back burner an remember that next time I don't feel like getting wrapped up in the legal proceedings of defending myself.

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>>31573368
The hell did I just read

>>31577485
You got that one with the guy taking out someone with a chair and the police just shoot them in the head

>>31573836
You should've suplexed him. When are you gonna get another chance to suplex a bum in self defense?

>>31572437
> be rent a cop at shitty inner city apt complex
> only paid as unarmed guard but fuckthat.jpg carrying my sr9c
> 2.a.m.
> see three brown people hoods up trying to get into 2nd story apt.
>after messing with the door for a minute one starts shimmying across a ledge to the balcony.
> hooded man one jacks the balcony door off the tracks an gets inside.
> I then do as rent a cops do and call real police.
> on the phone with operator giving details when one of them see's me .
>all three get inside real quick . 30 seconds later they all come back out with their hands stuffed into their jackets like they are holding something.
>all three brown guys come down the stairs and start across the parking lot straight at me .
> shitmypants.mp4
> slap phone back in my pocket while still on phone with operator. draw sr9c and start screaming at them as angrily as I can muster for them to to show me their hands and stop where they were.

>after they realize I'm not fucking around they stop pull out their hands empty and take their hoods off.

> turns out one of the browns actually lived there and they thought they would funny and try to scare me or some shit.

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Only time I ever had to draw was at my kid brothers birthday party.

I was sitting in a chair by the pool listening to one of my uncles babble on about god knows what when my brothers friend thought it would be funny to come up behind me and start taping my head with duct tape simply because, 'ayyyyyy saw it on youtube it's just a prank bro!'

You want to see two dozen people lose their shit? Draw a gun on a 16 year old.

Apparently it doesn't matter it took 2 fucking hours at the hospital to remove the three layers and change that he got around me. Not to mention the two stitches i got from when I jerked away. Or that I was a little over a foot away from a pool of water sided with fucking brick.

Fuck that kid and the lawsuit they tried to file against me.

If you can't tell I'm still butt flustered.

>>31576858
Sounds like a poor application of meat and cheese

>>31577002
If theyre smart... but you know how that goes.

>>31581619
Audibly keked

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>>31573368

>>31582808
>i have shit tier situation awareness and allowed someone enough time to wrap three layers of tape around my head before i could do anything

youre lucky it was just a prank bro if that was a real attack you'd be toast lmao

good luck with your lawsuit :-)

>>31577308
Thought for sure this was an AHX pasta

>>31582808
you let him get 3 wraps then pulled out a gun
fuck your reaction was terrible

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>>31573368

>>31577446
His brain wasn't working anyway if he grabbed a machete to fight over a girl who made out with a random dude while he was there

>>31582780
How did you not get immediately fired for expressing your 2nd amendment rights?

>>31583013
>>31582997
>wtf why weren't you ready for combat at a birthday party

>>31582808
>the lawsuit they tried to file against me.

I take it the suit wasn't successful?

>>31582808
As an anon who has but ducted before I know your pain.

>>31583013
>wrapping tape around a round object is hard

Lets assume the kid had this planned out. Lets assume that for one second anon had no fucking idea what was going on. Lets assume for a second anon struggled to get out of a chair while not nose diving into a pool.

I don't know about you but in 2 seconds I could easily wrap a water melon three times in tape. Hell I might even be able to do 4 times.

>>31582997
24 people at a part i'm going to assume a lot of people walked behind him.

>>31573368
> highly successful bait.

God damnit daytime /k/ get your shit together.

>>31574286
.t edgy teen sjw.

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>>31573368

>>31580575
You'd do right to learn that move. That is THE counter move.

>>31583093
if youre carrying a gun you are by definition combat ready

>>31573836
>grabbing a bum's crotch
More risky than the screwdriver

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>>31583248
ok mister operator

>>31583125
im less concerned with the fact that it took him 3 wraps to get his gun out and more concerned that at a childs birthday party he pulled out a gun 3 wraps in during a childs prank
thats just piss poor risk assessment

>>31581674
Southern chianti drinking bastards

>>31581819
Thats a lie. You're stupid as fuck for believing that.

>>31583073
I told my boss and the property mgmt that i"m carrying a weapon or i"m not working at that location. they were like "OK that's great but were not gonna pay you extra"

also I had both my armed and unarmed guard licenses.

>>31577635
But that's just plain wrong. If anything it's a submachine gun. Full size, mag well Isn't the pistol grip, stock, VFG, and a decently long barrel. The caliber literally does not matter.

>>31583073
oh also this is Phoenix, errebody has guns

>>31576331
>911 whats your emergency ?
>im in this fat guys house, and he's got a sword to my throat and he's making me eat a bowl of eggs

>>31575519
I drove a Prius once and it changed me forever. As soon as I climbed inside the minimalist brutalist interior of this carbon fiber Japanese death machine it was as if I was driving a monster truck. I pushed start. The engine was a throaty roar like a thousand nuclear jet bombers. I immediately soiled my trousers to prevent this beast of the land of hentai from raping me. Tentacles are NOT OKAY. In my haste to escape, I touched a lever, and the windshield wipers began beating like a reaper’s sickle threshing horror. Trying to reach the escape handle, I struck a phallus-like pole, and lights began to blink. Blink. Blink. A light. A terrible, red, light! BLINK BLINK! Shrieking and flailing, I clutched desperately at the door, and tumbled, helpless, into the street. In the cold New York City rain, I lay there helpless and soiled in the gutter. The terrifying Prius looming over me, asserting its alpha dominance, and I crawled away. Forever.

>>31583380
Ayy

>>31573368
What is this?

Is anon okay? Is he having a stroke?

>>31577421
Best ND story ever

>>31577636
The problem I see is that after the first shot the dude with the stick stopped what he was doing and the ccw guy took another shot after the fight was over

>>31577676
RULE THE WAVES

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>>31573368

>>31575033
Methheads are the epitome of skellyfags

>>31577456
Cold have gotten away with the first round, the second an OBVIOUSLY the third, were just out of spite/revenge.

>>31577896
Read a book. The British started it when they established Israel on land that was already occupied and started importing Jews.

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>>31573368

>pictured: anon writing this post

>>31583392
Kek

>you can't leave but you have to eat this.

>>31572437
just once two men knocked on my door I ignored it because I thought it was a package ten minutes later I go to let my dog out and there they are looking around the back of my house. I drew on them fired two shots not to hit them just to scare them I held them there until the police got there both were recently released felons. nobody died nobody got shot. I regret not killing them everyday.

>>31577456
I really hope the "definitely not in this one" was sarcasm

>>31577418
Not bad at least you had it in you. 7/10

>>31583877
>warning shots

I'm surprised the cops let you get away with that. Did you just tell them you missed?

>>31584141
ive been wanting to buy that sight for a while, still dont know if i should given i just bought half an ar

>>31577683
Why are they all blue?

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>>31584426
dont be racist anon

>>31584426
theyre really sad :(

>>31573368
wat

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>>31574025
am I? no bully zone

I mean... No. Not really. All my self defense cases happened in school when I was forced to deal with kids from the hood or single spoiled kids who didn't have an older bro to lump them up so they know not to be a dick.

I've had a knife to my throat once over a misunderstanding. It was better to de-escalate. Got away unscathed. Was retarded though. Some chick I was talking to earlier tried to help me and her nose got cut. I was all
>back the fuck up people, I know him, you will get me killed, fuck off, I got this

And of course, after I explained what I actually said
>you two make a great couple. Please take care of my friend, don't betray him

He sobbed like a bitch and begged the girl he cut for forgiveness in split seconds after the last words escaped my mouth.

It was a pretty nice evening aside from that.

Still hang out with him to this day, actually. He never questioned my loyalty after that. In fact, he came to conclusion he's a dick and decided he wasn't giving me near-enough friend credits. He also figures if I did anything to defend myself, he'd be in prison to this day for murdering me over saying something nice, and appreciated my restraint for not just my well-being, but his as well.

Sometimes de-escalation is best move. It's not just your own life in danger in these situations. Sometimes good people make stupid emotional moves. Doesn't mean they're evil.

Of course, in same situation, if I didn't know him... Idk, I might've tried something but it's a really shitty position to try and move from. =/

>>31577676
they need one of those net guns to snare big games...zoooooop!

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>>31579673
kind of, In my old shitty apartments I saw a black biker get shot down in front of no shit like 100 people who were in this big ass block party. His murderer was never caught because the guys who did it rode away on bikes without plates and covered their faces. Their is some seriously shit-tier police work out there.

>>31574318
I remember that thread

>>31577421
Your tile looks like shit and dirty

>>31574318
I thought you were a geyboi? didnt you get some spanish guys number

>>31584953
>His murderer was never caught because the guys who did it rode away on bikes without plates and covered their faces. Their is some seriously shit-tier police work out there.
How would you propose that they catch the suspect, then?
I'm curious, not being rude.

>>31579673
You seem to be mistaken on what actually occurred in both of these scenarios. The term murder is used in court when someone has intent and ability to kill. Intent and ability are the keywords. If you end up beating someone to death bare handed in a bar fight that insued because the dude tried to fuck your chick, you would be charged with manslaughter. You didnt come to the bar to kill anyone, and you didnt have a weapon that enabled you to do so. Shit just went down. In the bat scenario, anon had the ability, but not the intent. He heard panic screaming, fire, etc. For the bloke who knifed that guy, a cop probably is going to get that dead dudes rap sheet, see charges, assume some shit went south, end of story. Even if britnon was caught, self defense shines brighter

>>31585139
>self defense


>england
lol

>>31584426
IF THEY WERE GREEN THEY WOULD DIE

>>31585164
alright you got me there, britnon is pretty fucked if he gets caught up after the fact
>he wanted to rape my asshole and take my shit then kill me officer
>hmmm idk anon
>i got it on video
>hmm idk anon
>look you can clear-
>idk anon
>jail anon

>>31577084
So this is why people don't appreciate door to door, huh

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I'm half black and talk like white people. It's relevant later.
Found a homeless guy on my property in the woods next to my neighbor's pasture. He's drunk and I tell him to leave. He gets all indignant on me calling me a race traitor, a coon, uncle tom, house slave, etc. I'm on my phone dialing 911 and decide otherwise. I put my pocket, draw my gun on him and said something to the effect of
>I could kill you right here and say I feared for my life and no jury in the world would convict me. Now get off my property. Nigger.

He left in a hurry. I burned all of his shit, piss smelling tent and all.
I hate being called a coon.

The M&P 45 in the pic is what I had that day.

>>31585133
>ask witnesses about the biker gang of the guy who was killed
>ask friends of the guy killed, find out they have a rival gang
>start investigating the rival gang
>maybe start patrolling their area heavy, when you arrest someone ask about the murder
>check CCTV tapes of gas stations for looking for the motorcycle, if so then you found the killer with his mask off
>while your in the neighborhood you might even find the bike somewhere around there.
>once you have a face you just need a name, go back to the other gang and see if they can ID him

i'm not a cop but I mean theirs definitely ways to go about it

>>31581819
She clearly lied to you.
Only way that's true is if she was a Christian or Mormon girl.
As they give BJs but not sex.

>>31582808
Dude, you don't draw a gun unless ur life is in danger.
A fucking prank dosnt warrant that

>>31582808
youre the type of person liberals want to take guns from

>>31585264
Nice. It blows my mind that anyone takes shit from bums.

>>31579673
If the victim doesn't have any kind of relationship with the killer, you're probably gonna get away. There are exceptions if the public gets really fucking upset and the police sling a ton of resources at it.

People generally kill someone they know. There's little sense in a stranger killing a stranger. It's not some CSI bullshit. It's cops doing lots of interviews with people who know the victim and them tailing anyone who looks likely.

>>31575331
What happened to C?

>>31585378
They can get pretty bold, but I'm in Western Washington so the gibsmedats in Seattle and Olympia really empower them.

>>31585264
Reminds me of Tommy Sotomayor.

Good on you man, way I've always seen it the people who bitch the loudest about racism and bigotry are the biggest racists and bigots you'll ever find.

>>31581871
policeman plz

>>31585330
He had no clue what was going on, he only knew it was a prank after the fact retard.

>>31585447
All that I'm saying is that no white person has EVER called me a coon.

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>>31585264
Good on you dude.

>Walking around downtown at night.
>Passing local bars, laughter and music fills the air.
>Enter wooded area and begin my path home.
>Not a single sound.
>Hear a faint sound, think nothing of it.
>Sound intensifies.
>Rhythmic squeaking
>Turn to direction of sound.
>See clown emerge from the tree line.
>Heart rate spikes
>Clown pulls out balloons.
>Take a step back.
>Clown makes a poodle.
>Laugh nervously
>Clown pokes balloon with something.
>Balloon explodes with unfathomable amounts of blood.
>Blood covers entire forest, dripping from everything around me.
>Clown steps closer to me.
>Draw sidearm.
>Clown makes balloon gun faster than I can draw.
>Get first shot off thanks to my years of NSA training.
>He falls, a whoopee cushion deflates.
>Aim at downed clown.
>"Here's a round of applause."
>Confetti everywhere.

>>31577762
Palestinians were scum long before the jews got back.

>>31585540
Screencap this please.

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>>31585580
done

Bong here

Got about three shitty self defense stories because we decided to remove all forms of defensive weaponry bar metal torches (my personal carry, has a strobe setting and costs £2.50)

Let me just preface this by saying that from about 16 I've been a big boy mum, 6'2 now and muscly-fat. Imagine the shape of a gorilla but the grace of a bear (and the cuteness)

Anywho #1
>be 17, in club and underage
>lanky and no fighting experience by this point
>stood on some weird raised dance thing with friend and some girl he likes
>friend attracts the attention of five manlets
>has drink thrown in face
>well that's unfair and he's outnumbered
>decide to help friend and offer myself as reinforcement
>friend has about as much fighting spirit as france and tactically fucks off
>me and five manlets squaring off
>no clue wot to do as 17 and sheltered back then
>one goes for a tackle and the others follow
>all tumble off this podium thing
>as we move backwards I notice we're moving through someone's spilt drink
>make an extra effort to stay balanced
>my new m8's do not
>cue pile of manlets
>brain goes fuzzy, next thing I remember is holding one about a foot off the ground up to my face
>others have gone
>he's holding my long 17 year old faggotty hair
>tell him to let go
>he does, I put him down and he runs off
>pulled outside by my mate, turns out was protecting that girl
>more like protecting himself

Told you these were shit

Cont.

>>31577843
The Palestinians are neither being starved nor deprived of medication. They have easy access to both as evidenced by the fact that market in Gaza are always well stocked with fresh groceries and their pharmacies are supplied with medicine. Your comparison to the Warsaw Ghetto is idiotic and asinine.

>>31576925
that's fucking funny.

>>31585607
For obvious reasons me and him don't really hang out anymore. Can't exactly say my current friends are good or passable at fighting bar one bad-ass girl who took me to mma classes.

Current girlfriend did mma tho so that's nice to know she can beat up my male friends

#2
>be 21, new years
>north of england in peak district so snow and ice everywhere
>walking to a hill to watch fireworks with 3 friends
>4 of us have paired up, talking to my bestie while the other two are further up
>cue upset manlet
>tries to start on the the others, pushes one into a hedge and the remainder walks past
>kek he fell
>loses interest and asks me why I'm laughing
>give him the really nigga look
>decides it's not a good idea given the 2' difference and punches bestie
>o no u did not
>calmly put booze on ground while they scuffle off into a car
>in the meantime my other two friends are stood nearby bewildered and wondering how to help
>pull out torch I've been keeping warm in my trousers, set beam to strobe
>bend down and pull back manlets head them blind the fuck
>he moves his hands to cover his eyes
>headlock them to his head, threaten to call police
>he stops struggling
>let him go with a shove
>he gets up and asks for a fight, just us
>give him the did u not just pay attention look
>runs off like a gnome into the night threatening to fetch his brother
>go up to hill and saw a meteor along with fireworks, was pretty sweet

That one's a little better

Cont.