Homeless with Handguns part 3 (redux)

>>31497741
>own tales of lonely nights and desperation
I would prefer not to but reading yours reminded me of a few of those times and it helped me quit drinking. Been wondering if you were going to start another thread kind of been looking forward to it.
Just saying to bump.

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>>31497782
>lonely and depressed
>quit drinking

wut?

I had a pretty decent semi-permanent shelter made from a lean-to put over an approximately 4 foot dug out on the hillside, insulated with mud and pine branches. I had grown accustomed to this life, as strange as it sounds. By this time, it seemed quite 'normal' to me. I had a routine. Wake up, retrieve my socks from the stick I suspend above the fire for drying. Make breakfast, if I have food, and then try to rustle up some small game. Squirrels, turkey, etc. Mostly squirrels. Almost entirely squirrels. I was supplementing this diet with foodstamps I had finally received. Not much, $140 a month. I'll tell you, $140 a month goes a lot quicker when you have to buy only non-canned, non-perishable food. I didn't buy cans because they were too bulky to take on the mountain with me, so ramen noodles, powdered soups, beef jerky, things like this. I got good at making stews and soups combining these things. Squirrel ramen stew is surprisingly good. I would boil squirrel bones for broth, then add wild onions which are abundant in this area, once they were soft I'd add crushed ramen and the flavor packet, and fried squirrel chunks to complete the mix. Sometimes I would cheat and bring a can or two of potatoes to add along with it, which made it much better.

But I digress. I just wanted to give you all an idea of how I had been surviving this long so far. There are no homeless shelters in my town, not even a salvation army. It's all in the nearby city, but the city isn't so nearby when you don't have a car or any way to get inside a vehicle. No bus service out here. Nothing.

So I made my home near a natural spring I knew about because I grew up a few miles down the mountain from it on a farm owned by my grandparents. It served as a good home base, clean water all the time can't be beat. There is a nice little 'waterfall' (It was probably about 7 feet) and a small pool I used to bathe myself outside of the winter months. I had it easy, as far as living in the woods go. (cont)

>>31497794
Quit drinking and try to straighten out more or end up homeless and drunk. Might still end up homeless but housing isn't always an option for a lot of the jobs I've been able to find before so drinking needed to go. Getting blitzed nearly every day wasn't a good thing and needed to stop.

>>31497741
More of this please. Really enjoy these stories.

>>31497741
Welcome back bro, glad you're alive /k/omrade!

So it's early summer, for those around for the previous thread, probably about 2 months after stayed the night in the convenience store bathroom. For the most part, things were dull. The bathroom thing made me think a lot about what I was even doing with my life, because now I was committing actual crimes beyond hunting out of season. It was starting to seem like I would be this homeless half-person for the rest of my life, which some dark part of me honestly hoped would not be much longer. I was drinking, too. Before I became a man of the woods, I had drank probably four or five times in my entire life, but now I was drinking Old Crow almost nightly. I made my money from unskilled day labor. Landscaping, carrying logs for Asplundh, things like this. I was still very good at saving money, since I had no bills. I went literally months without spending a single penny. I'd do a few jobs, get paid a few hundred bucks, buy two or three big bottles of Old Crow and be set for a long time. I didn't drink much when I drank , I just drank quite often, and it was starting to get to the point that each night, I needed a little bit more than the night before to get me where I was comfortable enough to sleep.

I had probably $300 to my name at this time, from working those day labor jobs which are plentiful in the summer. I was stocked up on Old Crow so I was just sitting on the money. I had half a plan that I would save up a grand and get an apartment somewhere. Yeah right. A landlord would take one look at me - greasy wild hair, bushy beard, a woman's overcoat and a ridiculous contraption - a threadbear Mossy Oak turkey belt held up with a leather belt, and the fleece belt from a bathrobe criss-crossed across my chest and back like a makeshift mag belt from Syria - and a general stink of a man who bathes in cold creekwater once a month.

I had to do something. I was getting very desperate. (cont)

>>31497880
we should set up a gofundme

>>31497741
>>31497806
>>31497892
Did you pack anything besides your guns when you sold all of your shit? Asking because I might be in the same situation soon and want a general idea of what to take with.

>>31497892

So one day I'm just sitting, stewing, in my own self-loathing. I had already bagged three or four squirrels and I had also recently stocked up with foodstamps, so I didn't really have anything to do. I hated these times more than anything, the long hours of idle boredom and uselessness. I was looking at a magazine I stole from the waiting room at the health department about the luxury homes of celebrities and I swear to god, /k/, I was there. Half drunk on warm Old Crow in the middle of the day in the woods, I laid on my back and just gawked at Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's mansion. I'll get there, one day, I thought. I'll have a swimming pool, and my cabinets will always be full of fresh produce and locally sourced meats. I'll wear pastel sweaters and white linen pants, and have my servants drive me around and buy all the cool guns and computers and video games I could ever want. I'd probably date a supermodel, she would be Russian and completely infatuated with me. The newspapers would tell my rags to riches story without end. I had won the lottery in this fantasy, and invested in some new companies that netted me a fortune. I would burn all my old ragged clothes and my scratchy wool blanket, and live like a king.

As the bird shit hit my forehead, I came back to the real world and groaned. I walked to the small pool under the waterfall and started washing my face. Fuck this, I decided. There are tons of people out there with no job and no money, but they get to live in houses or apartments and cook on an electric stove and wear clothes that fit them. I wanted that, too. There had to be somebody, anybody, I could contact that would help me get out of this mess. Remember earlier, when I said everybody I knew considered me a 'snitch'? This is important for the rest of the story, because in my state I had forgotten everything I ever knew about reputation. I wrapped my shotgun in plastic and hid it up a tree I used as a stash spot (cont)

The previous threads don't seem to have been archived

>>31497966

Not really. After I sold everything I used the money to buy some supplies - a cheap pop up tent, a hatchet, lots of bic lighters etc. If you're serious I would advise doing something similar. Of course you'll need ammunition, some food etc. I am lucky in that I grew up hunting and fishing, so that made it easier. Good luck my man.

Anyway

>Walk into town illegally cc'ing my Taurus
>Head straight to public housing project, there is only the one here in this small town, but they are notorious because it's where literally the entire criminal population of the town
>I know basically everyone here my own age, since we all went to school together
>Take a rest at the school bus stop, smoke a half-cigarette that was on the ground
>Toasty
>At this point I realize I don't really have a plan. Just kind of wait around until I see somebody I recognize
>It's Jason, a kid I used to be cool with in highschool but hadn't talked to since
>He see's me seeing him. It takes him a minute, but he recognizes me
>He comes over to talk. Asks me if I've talked to (roommate)
>Not for a while bro. I'm kind of in a sticky situation
>He knows already, from the look of me. Offers to let me stay at his apartment for a few days
>Feel like I've just been blessed by Odin
>Glady accept and follow him up the hill to where he lives
>Whole project is in a big circle running up a steep hill next to a graveyard
>Get inside. It smells like shit. Even to my homeless nose, it just smells awful
>Like stale diapers, sweat, and the unmistakable smell of shake and bake meth production, a scent I've become all too familiar with
>He motions to the couch, says he'll be right back
>Heads up the stairs, the apartments are two stories but very small cramped stories, living room and kitchen downstairs, two bedrooms and a bathroom upstairs
>Sit on the couch. It's been over a year since I sat on actual couch. The tv is on, no cable but he's got the digital antenna and can pick up the local stations
>cont

>>31498068
Your story is visceral. I am in a situation like yours right now, but I have a car to sleep in at least for now.

>>31497917
Thank you, but I'm ok now. I'm stable, if you really want to do something charitable, donate to your local homeless shelter. They need it more than I do.

>>31498068

>Hear a woman and a child, can't hear the whole conversation but he's arguing with the woman about something, probably the homeless man sitting on their couch
>He comes back downstairs and I'm sunk into the couch, it's the most comfortable thing I've ever felt. It was old and worn out, but it was amazing all the same
>"Stupid bitch. Don't worry about her, I told her you're MY friend and you can stay as long as you want"
>o-ok. I don't want to be a burden
>No problem bro! Wanna get fucked up?
>My heart jumped. "You got a bottle?" I asked, thinking wow, my luck couldn't possibly improve
>"Nah I got a few beers in the fridge though"
>At this point he's taking a small glass tube out of his pocket. Anybody guess what it is?
>It's a meth pipe. He loads it up with some glass from a tiny bag in the drawer of the table next to the couch
>He takes a big hit, he's got one of those big red butane torches from wal-mart
>He offers it to me and I decline. I've never done meth, crack, etc. Never will. I smoked weed once and I drink, but that's it. A homeless man cannot afford many vices.
>He gives me a funny look but moves on. We watch the local news station for a few hours, and he's texting somebody on his Obamaphone
>"Got some friends coming over. Gonna get crunk tonight man!"
>"Ok. Sounds cool. Thank you."
>Ask to use the shower, he tells me no, says upstairs is off limits and to piss outside.
>A-alright then. Fair enough
>"I got my girl up there bro you know how it is"
>I don't know how it is
>Eat some peanut butter on a hotdog bun with him. Good shit. I guess.
>Hang around until night time, I'm starting to get sleepy. I'm used to going to bed pretty early since once it gets dark in the woods, there's just nothing else to do but sleep
>cont

>>31498135
... you're here now, so i can safely assume you were not raped to death by switchblade, but i am not liking where this is going.

>>31498135
Look man, if you're with a man who offers up his home to you then offers you drugs, you should probably do them.

bump

also what kind of axe did you take? a basic wall mart one ?

>>31497998
>This is important for the rest of the story, because in my state I had forgotten everything I ever knew about reputation.
This gives me a really sinking feeling just reading having been stuck in a spot needing a friend before and hearing from people I haven't seen in years. It seems like people never change if things are going okay for them.
>>31498068
>>31498135
I really hate where this is going, did you have that 1911 on you?

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>>31498135
Meth ain't that bad long as you don't go all overboard with it. Easiest way I can think to describe it is, you feel pretty normal like your self but 5x yourself with some really strong coffee type energy.

>>31498178
>>31498135
>>Walk into town illegally cc'ing my Taurus

>>31498135

>There are three soft knocks on the door. It's the knock people use who don't want the occupants to think they are cops
>Everybody knows the cop knock
>He goes and answers the door. It's my roommates brother and probably five other guys and a woman who was my age but looked about ten years older from drug use. Hollow eyes, dry skin. You know the look
>My roommate was a pot head for sure, but he was also a nerd like me. He wasn't into hard drugs like his brother was. His brother had been in and out of jail his whole life. I grew up with them and their family so I knew his story. He assaulted a police officer when he was only 13, throwing rocks at the cop from an overpass
>Not a nice guy
>He looks at me with this really weird gaze. Hey (anon)! Holy shit it's been a while
>Shakes my hand, asks how I've been, etc
>Asks when I got out of jail. I told him.
>"You know (roommate) is still locked up? Isn't that fucked up?"
>"A lot of people say it's your fault, like you threw him under the bus or something. Haha I know you wouldn't do that though bro we're cool"
>I'm getting nervous. I had absolutely thrown him under the bus, but when we moved in together, that was the deal. I wasn't smoking any pot, so if he got caught with it, it was all on him. That was the deal.
>"Yeah man, pot shouldn't even be illegal. That's just stupid", I said.
>Everything gets quiet for a minute. It's very uncomfortable
>The guys he brought with him, I knew a couple, but the others must not be locals like us.
>So they start drinking, roomie's brother (I'll call him Alan) had brought one of those big jugs of Taaka vodka you get for like $14
>I'm not going to lie. I started drinking too.
>They took turns going upstairs to the bathroom to snort pills/smoke meth/whatever junkies do in the bathroom together
>Every time, Alan comes back down and puts me in a 'headlock', just grabbing me around the neck with his elbow and rubbing my head.
>cont

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>>31498212
o shit

>>31497741
>getting arrested for your roommate selling drugs

that is some bull fucking shit

It's getting good

>>31498212

>It's in a friendly kind of way, each time he says something like "C'mere you! Haha!"
>But every time, he grips my neck a little harder
>I'm already hating this. My time in the woods have made me sensitive, I hunch my shoulders reflexively and I can tell he knows that I hate it
>I don't say anything though. I'm a guest here, and Alan is twice my size and has lived a much harder life than me. I could only imagine how many fights he's been in, and how many of them he's won. He has a reputation around town as a shit kicker, and a menace.
>They go up again, when they come back down, everybody crowds around me in a circle
>I'm sitting in a kitchen chair at their tiny table, they form a half circle with me against the wall
>Spider senses tingling. What niggatry is afoot here
>He goes to grab me in a headlock again
>I stand up, my chair goes scooting behind me and knocks into the girl
>I cringe, knowing that I just fucked up
>HEY THAT'S MY GIRL BRO
>Alan swings at me. I duck low and he punches the wall. I sprint forward, between his two buddies. One of them falls on the ground and grabs my ankle
>I fall probably a foot away from the hallway connecting the kitchen to the living room
>Alan is on top of me in a second. He starts punching me in the back of my head, since I'm face first on the ground
>Each time he hits me, my face hits the floor. I lost three of my front teeth on the bottom side
>Spitting blood I twist around, I think he didn't have to allow me, but I was able to turn face forward to him
>So now he's more on my chest, and he starts slinging fists at my exposed face
>By reflex I put my hands up to guard my face, when he punches downward, he hits my hands. He managed to hit my face twice before I had enough wits to grab his hand
>Remember my grandpa used to twist my thumb 'as a joke'
>Grab his thumb and pull it back as hard as I can
>I move his arm enough to give me space to wriggle free. I'm a pretty skinny guy now due to my lifestyle
>Cont

>>31498254
The logic behind it is that you were complicit with it and never reported it.

>>31498267
that's some shit

>>31498255
What happened to the 1911?

>>31498267
Well once again the governemnt fucking people over, almost like its their job or something

>>31498267
I understand that, but what if you didn't even know?

>>31498322
Prove it.

>>31498284
>>31498295
Yeah. It's pretty gay. It makes sense to them I guess but who would report their friends or family?

>>31498325
b-b-but what about being innocent until proven guilty?

>>31498265

>scramble backwards
>I'm sitting up, my back is against the wall
>I've just got my knees up, about to stand
>his buddies grab my shoulders
>I'm delirious from cheap alcohol and minor head trauma, and 100% done with this bullshit
>Reach for my gun, it's in the zipper pouch of my turkey belt
>I've got it halfway unzipped and I'm hit in the face again
>"FUCKING FAGGOT" Alan is screaming.
>I shove my hand in the rest of the way and draw
>My eyes are swollen, I can barely see. Heart is racing and I'm genuinely sure that I'm going to either die or go to prison tonight
>jam the barrel into his thigh and pull the trigger
>Nothing happens
>Goddamnit it's not even cocked
>Still, he sees the gun and jumps back a little
>OH SHIT
>I take my chance to scramble up on my feet and rack the slide
>I'm pointing it pretty blindly, at Allan, at his buddies, backing up into the hallway
>Somebody grabs my wrist and I fire
>BANG. This is the second time I've fired a weapon in doors with no hearing protection
>My ears ringing but still I'm noticing a little more respect from my 'friends'
>I'm free now. I take a nanosecond to assess if I've just killed anyone and nobody seems to be shot
>Everybody is holding their ears and looking at me wild eyed. I don't think any of them had expected that I would actually shoot
>I back out of the house covering my swollen mouth and busted teeth with my shirtsleeve
>Once I hit the sidewalk I started running
>Spent the night in the treeline surrounding the graveyard

I have false teeth now but I spent the rest of my homeless experience with just my top row. Only time I've ever been beat up that badly.

>>31498335
the honorable officer gomez saw you injecting marijuana ,hes only been investigated for perjuring and false testimony twice so he is obviously a reliable witness.

>>31498343

Fuck dude. I don't want to even think about being homeless with busted teeth. That's some shit.

>>31498254
It's a way for cops to arrest broke people and niggers.

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>>31498343
go on

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>>31498037
They are, you just didn't look hard enough.

>1st thread, I believe
https://desuarchive.org/k/thread/31182403

>2
https://desuarchive.org/k/thread/31191066

>3(?)
https://desuarchive.org/k/thread/31243216

Hope that helps OP and the rest of you find the trials and tribulations of our homeless friend's adventures thus far.

>>31497741
Love your posts HWAS, great OC is what this place used to thrive on, now it's all greeted with skepticism (with good reason)

Here's a grab of one of the threads, not sure which one though.

>keep em coming, best threads on /k/ in a while.

still lurking you filthy hobo

>>31498343
You still living in TN man? You should try whatever you can to get to Nashville. They have a great system for the homeless. They provide shelter and food aswell as a newspaper job. (yes, job) and everyone endorses it around here.

If you came to Nashville and made another thread I'd love to give you some stuff. I have tons of clothes and whatnot for you.

>>31498480

I am still in TN, in the same town in fact. This is my home, and I will die here. Thank you, but as stated I'm stable now and doing OK.

I would never go to Nashville regardless. No offense but everything I hear about that place makes it sound like some kind of ghetto hellhole. I don't like cities and I don't think I would be able to survive city life. Everything is so packed together. If it's anything like Atlanta, which I've been to, no thanks, heh.

>>31498509
I hear you man. I used to go to college in Cookville. I hated that more than anything in the world. Everything reeked of desperation and just misery. Everyone and their sisters were shake and bake meth addicts or hardcore pill addicts. Hated every second being there.
Nashville does have a pretty ghetto scene culture but it isn't as bad as some other cities I've seen.

What city are you from? I'm from Franklin. (probably why I wasn't used to cookville)

You got time to tell another story ShotgunHobo?

Was half-expecting you to dump a round or few into Alan there at the end.

We need to start a gofundme and get this guy a camper on Craigslist or something

Jesus man that shits rough. It's better to be alone in the woods than to trust people on drugs

>>31498518

I don't want to give up where I am, but I will say it's Carter County outside of Elizabethton/Hampton. If you know the area you've probably guessed already.

>>31498527

Well, it's six AM now. I started a lot later than I thought. If the thread isn't 404'd later on after I sleep I will continue.

>>31498575
he has a house

>>31498580
Oh thank Jesus

Let's buy this guy a nugget then

>>31498425

THANK YOU, by the way. Was looking for that cap. Also I want to correct myself, in the third thread I said I now own a Ruger Bodyguard when I meant to say LCP. Pretty sure a Ruger Bodyguard doesn't even exist. I was a bit intoxicated that night.

>>31498596
S&W makes the M&P Bodyguard, which is a .380.

>>31498585
That's mighty white of you, but let's just let the guy regale us with his tales.
He doesn't seem to want our pity nor to be doxxed.

>>31498596
NP /k/omrade.
You're a testament to what one is willing to do to survive, plus you've got a great ability to tell a story.
Glad you're doing well enough now to be able to tell us about it.

I'll be honest, I'm disappointed that guy knocked out your teeth, and you didn't kneecap him for it.

>Criminals given new lives, houses, money etc after committing actual crimes
>This guy gets arrested for being in the same building as a plant and loses everything, lives in the woods, accosted by spider fetish methheads (was that the same person?) and then gets his teeth knocked out

Fuck this planet.

>>31498972
But at least we're winning that drug war, right?

>>31497741
im so glad you didnt leave us Hobo

I checked every day for awhile for a new thread by you, i love your stories

hope you're doing well man

>>31498643
That was a lot worse than I thought the story was going to turn out. Found it to be bit of a nail biter waiting to hear about it.

got any more tales for us?

Damn.
I was hoping all the meth heads would die.
Good tale though. Very enthralling.
Makes one appreciate what they've got.

>>31498212
I will never understand why people live like this.

Not you, op, the people who ruin themselves with hard drugs and act like seedy fuckers, get violent and threaten people constantly. It's fucking insane. It's also why I carry.

Hope he comes back

I feel the hobo with a shotgun is deserving of a folk song.

>>31501251
It's already got the movie adaption

$140 a month in stamps is fine without subsidizing meat. I was on $200 and would always have some left at the end of the month while sharing food. I figure the majority buy preprocessed prepared foods. I only bought ingredients and cooked from scratch. I guess you where used to commissary and prison spread cooking.

I`m trying to pinpoint the location just to immerse myself in the google earth topography. Not interested in doxxing your hobo hideout.

>>31501843
That's the way to do it, but I imagine doing so is easier when you have a proper kitchen setup; even a pot on the stove or a microwave and a place to safely/securely store a lot of ingredients without risk of them being lost to weather or vermin.

>>31501843

A lot of people really don't know how to live like that. I was lucky I grew up poor. My mother was a master at living on a budget. Raised a kid on peanuts and never had a late bill or a missed payment and never went on government assistance.

At one point when I was unemployed I got myself down to 60 bucks a month for food and honestly I probably could have gotten that down further. There were a couple of things I'd by monthly for my own satisfaction if I ever saw them on sale. Mostly I lived off dry goods. Lima beans became a staple food. 3 bucks will buy you a bag of dry beans and will serve you about 5-6 good meals. They're filling as fuck too. Flour, eggs, bread, and milk also go a looooong fucking way and don't cost much money. You can mix them up in a lot of ways. Sundries can cost you a bit more so you buy in bulk like a mother fucker if you ever find a sale. Surprisingly I ate very little ramen. It was always a sometimes food. If I eat too much of it I feel sluggish and worn out. You can tell they aren't healthy for you.

>>31501843
>>31501876
>>31502161

You are all correct. I know how to live on a tight budget but like the other poster said, it's not as easy when you can't make frequent trips to the store and have to have everything pre-packaged to keep bears and possums from smelling your stash. Lima beans bro really gets it. Like I said in the other thread, dry goods like rice and beans were a huge staple for me too. I did eat a lot of ramen, but that's a vice I've kind of always had. I still eat too much, seeing as any at all is too much. I just really appreciate that broth, and it's pure calories, kept me going when I needed it. If I had had more than a cheap walmart mess kit to cook with I probably could have eaten a little healthier, but honestly, I just didn't care much about my health back then, just cared about eating and not having to carry 50 pounds of food up a mountain.

>>31500436
>>31498643
As much as I think they deserved to die, I'm not a killer, or even really a fighter. I just wanted out of there. As for the kneecapping, by god I tried. I always kept one in the chamber after that. It had been months since I had even used my Taurus so I hadn't been thinking about it.

I'm on lunch right now but after work I'll tell some of my wife's stories if anybody is interested.

I was headed down the west coast down highway 1 with travel sized drug bags of sugar,salt,coffee,flour, homemade shake and bake, a small bottle I repurposed for cooking oil, a pair of chopstick, ketchup packets of soy and hot sauce and a metal mixing bowl. I`d been picking up drift wood and had my backpack filled up at this point. One of the beaches I stopped at to enjoy the view had low tide and rocks covered in mussels, so I used my multitool to take a handful, load them in a trash bag and stash in my pack. Heading down to a beach campground ran by the state to camp for the night, I stopped by a little chinese shop and picked up two small bottles of sake. In California it's illegal to camp or light open fires anywhere except designated state run facilities and designated park grills. By the time I arrived to this beach to rent a camp spot they where closed for the night, but I would have to throw away my mussels and go hungry If I didn't cook them. I would really hate having killed a handful of mussels for no reason besides stupidity so I decided to break beach curfew long enough to use the park grill and cook the mussels. I figured if anyone noticed they would assume I was a camper from one of the rented camp spots.

I broke down a few sticks of drift wood from my pack into match wood with the tomahawk I was open carrying. In california it's legal to run around with as long as you open carry. I started the fire with a cotton ball I had previously soaked in candle wax for lighting fires, Placed the mixing bowl and started the mussels in some bottled water. At this point it was too dark to try and locate some kombu off the beach and arriving late/having to go find somewhere else to sleep had broken my spirits. After boiling the mussels I pulled them out, removed the shell and beards and returned the meaty bits with half a bottle of one of the sake and drank the other half before tossing it in the trash.

(1/2)
Around this time the cops showed up to hassle a car smoking weed in the parking lot. It's pretty legal so I assume they just got hassled and told to leave since the park was closed. I`m busy hoping my plan to look like I`m camping is paying off when the cop car lights me up with the spotlight. At this point I`m ready to go to jail for cooking and getting tired of all the Bullshit rules. The cop is a 10/10 qt and says parks closed. I`m obstinate and tell her i`m cooking mussels. She just says "well will you leave when you`re done?" Im like "yea" then she drives off. I finish cooking the mussels. Grab the metal bowl with a mechanic glove I have packed and walk down the street until the bowl has cooled enough to start eating. Eventually found a beach just south of that down a steep cliff I was sure the cops wouldn't bother to climb down to bother people to camp on. Probably should have cooked there if I had known about it.

>>31502287
>if anybody is interested.
Oh you tease.

>>31502287
moar pls

>>31498348
>Officer gomez
>implying it's not officer Smith
Shit guy's from a small town, it's probably officer Billy-Bob.

>>31497741
>I'm homeless
>I live in the woods and squirrels
>I also have the internet and access to an internet capable device
Isn't there already a writefag thread for fictional stuff?

>>31502654
Damnit, I just decide to delete my post about how people treat homeless like shit and call them lazy moochers, because the thread is going so well, and then this idiot shows up.

>>31502654
Did you even read through the thread?

>>31502654
Stfu & fuck off. All this happened years ago.

@Op
totally dig your stories. Keep them coming.
Greetings from Krautland

>>31502654
Fuck off faggot. Anybody who's been on /k/ recently should know the tripfag hobowithashotgun.

It's an epic tale of recovering from homelessness and all the spoopy things that happened along the way.

Key word: recovering, as in not homeless anymore.

Besides, Gen X and later hobos typically do have Internet access of some kind these days, but this was in the past.

Faggot.

>>31502654
piss of,cunt,
have you never learned to read in your worthless live

>>31502698
>>31502754
>>31502818
>>31502864
>>31502922
You're all as bad as some faggot on /b/ thinking OP is a girl.
Enjoy your fairy tales by all means.

>>31503037

I'd say enjoy being an autistic cunt but I think we both know you don't enjoy anything.

>>31497741
As lame as it sounds, thank you for sharing. I remember your posts and am happy to read more of your stories.

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>>31501251
a duet with Homo with a shotgun?

>>31502654
>>I also have the internet and access to an internet capable device
What is the public library for 500, Alex

>>31502287
>>31502161
>>31501876
>>31501843
Can we discuss more about how to live poor?

>>31504337
Step one, vote for hillary.

>>31497782
No one cares shut up

>>31504337

Step One: don't spend money
Step Two: Don't have any money
Step Three: ???
Step Four: Profit!

>>31498518
Lol I just recently moved to Cookeville.

>>31504337
I make less than $30k a year and save enough to buy 3-4 guns a year. I dunno if I qualify as poor, but I feel like I live pretty cheap, so I might be able to offer a bit of advise.

>pay all of your bills on time
>avoid credit and loans like the plague
>set strict budgets for food, gas, personal care items etc. After bills I spend <$150 a month on food, gas, personal care, and household items
>learn to make several meals with simple ingredients and stock up a bit on them when they're on sale
>potatoes and rice go a long way and can fill out meals when you need it
>don't eat out
>don't order delivery
>don't drink soda
>don't smoke
>use Youtube to learn to do repairs on things around the house and on your car if you have one
>buy generic brands whenever you can
>don't buy things like toothpaste, shampoo, razor blades etc. unless they're on sale
>don't those cartridge razors (Fusion, Mach 5, whatever) or disposable razors, instead go down to an antique shop and get an old school double edge safety razor. You can order blades from Amazon for pretty cheap and for me they irritate my skin less
>don't buy things like bottled water
>don't be afraid or embarrassed to use coupons
>watch for sales, I got a zip-up hoodie from K-Mart last Sunday for $3 after tax because I caught a sale
>If possible don't rent an apartment or house. You can usually swing mortgage payments on a house for the same or less than you'd be paying in rent on a small apartment, so why not put that money towards equity in your home rather than handing it over to a landlord?
>any time overtime is offered to you, take it

>>31504337

In all seriousness the motto of the truly poor is "Do it for yourself" People don't realize the sheer amount of conveniences they pay for nowadays that would have been unthinkable before WW2 .I had an older family, both pairs of grandparents lived through and were old enough to vividly remember the great depression. That instilled in them a spirit of self reliance. Even in their older age when they had plenty of money my grandma would maintain her own garden and can and preserve what she grew. Check to see if there's something you can make yourself before going to the store to buy it.


A lot of families think "groceries" is picking up a months worth of prepackaged or frozen meals. They pay for shit food and complain that it's all they can afford and claim that's why they're fat. Being poor has always been the best diet for me. It gets me away from fast food and gets me cooking. As mentioned several times dry goods are cheap and don't spoil. Buy a shit ton of them. They'll also help you out should you ever find yourself in a SHTF scenario.


If you live in a more rural area check to see if there are any local farmers markets around you. Depending on where you're at they may be a great way to get delicious fresh produce at better prices than you'll find in the grocery store. Around here I can fill my car up with all kinds of tasty fresh produce for 10-20 bucks.


Beyond that as >>31504496 noted don't be fucking stupid with your money. I wouldn't say avoid credit like the plague but don't treat it like free money. I've got 2 cards that I keep balances on every month and pay off like they're delayed debit cards. It's helped my credit and allowed me to secure much better rates on things like my house than I would have qualified for otherwise.


It's all common sense really. As a friend who actually had to live in a situation much like OP did told me one time "what you think you need and what you really need are two wildly different things."

>>31504706
>>31504496
Thanks for this, it's good stuff.

Thanks, based OP. I worked on a dump truck all day, its nice to drink a beer and read your stories. Pls keep posting when you feel like it

>>31504337
If you don't have a cook book or internet access and don't know how to cook you're not going to eat as well as most people say. It really shouldn't be that hard just putting a few things together over heat for a while but if you fuck it up your probably just lost more than one meal.

>>31506737
But you can pick up cookbooks for free from the salvation army or for like $0.50 from a used bookstore...

>>31507923
Most of the cookbooks you'll find are kinda terrible for actually learning to cook. They'll have recipes but no actual techniques.

>>31507960
What techniques do you actually need? Do people not know how to boil water or sift flour or some shit?

>>31508200
Sadly enough, yes.

In this age of microwave dinners, home cooking is a skill going the way of the blacksmith.

>>31508200
>sift flower? what is this action u speak of?

>>31507923
How well do you think most people know their way around.
If someone told me just go to the salvation army I have no fucking clue where one is. If I were homeless I probably wouldn't even be using the internet at all except to check emails for work if I could even get to a terminal for it.

Bump

OP please come back.

>>31504706
>>31504496
Superb advice. My wife and I used to live like that when we were both in school and broke. Now we're out of school with good jobs, and still mostly live that way, and it's amazing how much money we can put away. Considering how much retirement costs, and how critical it is to start saving 10-15% of your income towards retirement as soon as you leave college, that's a good thing.

Two notes: Online and IRL yard sales, and credit. Join all the local Yard Sale sites you can on Facebook, and learn how to screen yard sales on Craigslist. That is where the most truly ludicrous deals can take place, especially on tools and equipment. An old milk crate full of screws and nails may cost $10 at an old man's yard sale, and contain over $200 worth of fasteners. Also, anything baby related can often be found in yard sales. Saving on baby stuff is probably worth 4 more posts.

On credit: I had a hell of a time buying a house between 2010 and 2013, because I had "ban/no credit." Both our cars were paid off, my wife's ring was paid off, we paid cash for everything, had always paid all our bills on time, had more money coming in then we needed, had secure sources of income, and had all the bank statements to back it all up. But unless you do like anon above and have active lines of credit that you're using and keeping paid off, you won't have a credit score. It's a stupid, stupid game, but you have to play it to get credit.

>>31509960
>ban/no credit.
Should have said BAD/no credit.

Anyway, to begin building credit, the easiest ways are store cards and secured cards. Some stores will give any schmuck a store credit card, good only for in store purchases. Some won't, and their inquiries ding your credit report, so be sure you'll be approved before you apply. Macy's will give a card to anyone; watch for sales and buy some pots and sheets and shit.

Secured credit cards are where you give the CC company a check, and get a credit card with that amount for a credit limit. They cash the check and hold that amount. Again, they'll give anyone such a card.

>>31509960
>Also, anything baby related can often be found in yard sales. Saving on baby stuff is probably worth 4 more posts.
Criminey is this ever true. Just had mine 3 months ago and very, very little stuff has been bought new. So much of what we've gotten has been like new but for 50% or more off.

Having insurance is vital with babies. My wife took 24+ hours to deliver and the bill for everything from pregnancy to delivery was at least $25k... of which I had to pay about $200. That's not even factoring in what my kid's fees were for post-birth checkups/shots/care.

>>31511209
>of which I had to pay about $200.
Damn, nice. Any epidural? We paid about $800, most of which was anesthesiologist. You're not kidding about insurance being critical, though. Those bills are potentially nasty.

Medical bills in general, however, can almost always be put on a payment plan with almost no hassle, no interest, and no effect in your credit. Call the billing department and ask. Worst they can say is no, but if they say yes, they often don't mind you paying $50/month for 16 months for that one time you end up at the urgent care for some dumb shit (I had 2 separate injuries combined with a diagnoses flu. Miserable as fuck, but not near death).

>>31511401
We went in hoping/planning not to do epidural unless really needed. After about 10 or so hours she was so tired and hurting that it was really needed after all. But that ended up being a friggin' trial itself: the first time the anesthesiologist set up the epidural it failed to work. Said he'd only seen it once in 20 years of medicine, 15 years prior. Redid it, and then the injector machine kept saying the line was blocked and that it couldn't pump when she would hit the button. Just a fucking shitshow in that regard.

>>31511764
>Said he'd only seen it once in 20 years of medicine, 15 years prior.
Jesus, what fucking backwoods trailer park hospital did they scrape this guy out of?

>>31511804
No I mean he'd only seen a failure in the epidural happen once in his 20 years of doing them and it was someone else who failed while he was observing 15 years beforehand.

My city without saying which is actually considered a primary medical center, we get people flying in worldwide to get care here. Mind, the average Joe goes to the county clinics, not the high-dollar care centers.

>>31512105
Oh, whoops, my mistake. I thought you meant he'd only done 1 epidural in 20 years of medicine. I'm in NH, and I can't imagine an anesthesiologist around here not doing a couple a day.

My wife also tried to go as long as possible without, so as to avoid slowing the delivery. She ended up getting the epidural around 8cm and fell asleep like 5 minutes later. Woke up 45 minutes later and started pushing.

>>31512170
Yeah no if he'd said he'd only ever done 1 epidural I'd have told him to get the fuck out.

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>>31511209
>the bill for everything from pregnancy to delivery was at least $25k...

>>31503037
>I was merely pretending to be retarded

>>31504496
>don't use cartridge razors
Keep a jar of 91% isopropyl alcohol where you shave. When you're done shaving use the alcohol to swish the razor around in. This displaces the water on the razor and it dries clean instead of drying with tiny deposits of minerals on the blade from the water. The minerals are what makes a razor get dull, not having to cut through beard hair. I have no shit used a razor for 3-6 months before deciding to change it. It will stay sharp if you do this.

>>31514600
Even if you can make a cartridge last 3-4 months, it's still costing you more than $0.08 to $0.30 per blade.

Learn to dry shave with a pocket knife. I have been shaving with the same spyderco byrd for over a decade, and have never needed to sharpen it.

bump for hobo
pls come back op, i know you don't sleep that long

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>>31516671
Bumping

How are you even posting right now?

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>>31515007
>Learn to dry shave with a pocket knife.

>>31517903
read the thread before posting, op has a house and a wife and a job now

i think in the first thread he said that he was on /k/ when he was homeless at a public library or something

>>31498079
As long as I have my Explorer, I'm simply houseless. Feelin lucky for that and a steady job. Keep on keepin on, dude.

>>31504496
>>31504706
All great advice, I'd also add that it's handy to make friends with retail employees so you can pick up the stock that gets discarded. I worked for a produce store years ago and they still hand me free stuff whenever I drop by.

>>31497741
Have you considered becoming Hunter S. Thompson II: Electric Boogaloo? You're already innamountains.

>>31518635
That title has already been taken by John McAfee.

>>31518784
too bad he lost the nomination
woulda loved a President McAfee

>>31519006
Oh Lord.

Can you imagine how that would go?

come back here hobo

>>31519229
Considering he is the epitome of a Libertarian, awesome, gun laws? drug laws? nope, won't be doing those.

Also completely fucking terrifying, because that mother fucker is insane Greeting visiting foreign leaders with a handful of bathsalts followed by hooker hunts in the West Wing with tranquilizer guns, before playing pin the JDAM on the globe when he starts to come down.

>>31518177
Not true. He WAS homeless at one time and is now somewhat back on his feet. He's just telling past experiences.

>>31520648
yes, I know, I was replying to
>How are you even posting right now?
because he's not homeless anymore. Reread my post and who I was responding to.

bump for op

>>31517961
what's to what? it's cheaper if you don't waste cash on cream and if the tool requires no maintenance and can be used for ages it's cheaper long term.

>>31523235
reeeeee bump again

bump for hobo

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>>31524334
Good way to slice your face all to hell is what.

>>31508922
How do you check for your weevils idiot ?

They are best fried, not baked into bread

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>>31498135
>>"I got my girl up there bro you know how it is"
>>I don't know how it is

right in the feels bud. love your threads.

Fucking fantastic thread, OP et al.

>>31506737

Libraries are still a thing. Shocking, I know...

>>31526270
dawww. Does a little blood and maybe even scarring make your soft as fuck little fagboy testicles quiver?

>>31497741
> homeless
>not enlisting in the military
>choosing to be a fucking bum

>>31528087
military likes their cannon fodder to have home addresses, anon.

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>>31528084

Okay, tough guy.

>>31503037
i swear this is the same guy from the last thread who got pissy for the same reason. fuck you bro

>>31497741
So why did those people shoot at you? Weree they warning shots?

Did you shoot the metheads in the backs?

How do you know it is the same bear?

>>31526270
>>31528084
holy shit, i can count on 1 hand the number of times i've cut myself during said decade. it's not as bad as you seem to think it is. just let the knife do the work. you're not peeling an apple.

>>31504496
Even cheaper, buy an antique straight razor. Find a barber to sharpen it for you and then just touch it up once every few months on a fine stone and mothers buffing strop and bobs your uncle.

>I haven't bought razor blades in 3 years

>>31502287
Any more planned?

Where are you now?

I love how even in the mists of all of this shit you could still be positive, thinking of a great future, being wealthy, owning the latest and greatest tech, guns, being adored by some model, etc.You are the best of K and /Pol all in one my friend.

>>31528190
>Spot the facebook normy
>read post title
>comments without knowing anything about the situation
There really is no use in explaining it to him he's really ignorant I think he'd flunk the ASVAB.

Thinking the military takes people with criminal records or is just a last resort? A lot of the people I met when I went in as a private already had some college or degrees.

>>31529050
Don't worry someday you might still grow in a full beard that mangles blade edges to hell. I remember what it was like having peach fuzz I could get by shaving once or twice a week.

>>31529058
I have my great grandpa's straight razor, I just don't trust myself not to cut myself with it, so I prefer safety razors.

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>>31529221
>even in the mist of all this shit

>>31497806
How do you get food stamps if you're homeless? I'm not too informed on this subject

>>31529246
Shaving with a straight razor is a lot easier than people think anon. I switched over to one two years back when my wife got me one for my birthday, nicked myself a couple of times learning to use it then figured out what I was doing. I'd advise youtube, there are a bunch of how to guides on there. Pro tip, keep water out of the hinge at all costs. If it starts rusting there, your hosed.

>>31529889
I'm also curious about that, I thought they mailed them to you.

>>31531932
Food stamps in my state consist of a debit card that gets refilled every month. I'm not sure about the address part.

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>>31497741

I remember this, glad u got the trip again so we can know its you.

>>31529889
Go to the food stamps office, apply, they may give you a card then and there, if you have no address there are a couple things you can do like get it sent to a drop in/shelter/general delivery to a post office or you could wait for it to be sent to the office and just go back for it

>>31532321
>>31532173
Useful info to know later in the future. thanks!

Bump?

>>31502287
>I'm on lunch right now but after work I'll tell some of my wife's stories if anybody is interested.
pls

>>31534271
Bump.

>>31502287
We want to hear about the wife OP

>>31497741
bump

>>31539059
same

Bump! Come back OP

Bumping for OP. Interested in wife's stories.

Thinking this bump will probably prove fruitless but oh well

>>31543307
Bump for more stories

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bump

finale bump