>move to extremely rough area of the UK >few close encounters

Civil disobedience is your only option.

>>31436403
Britbongs-the eternal cucks

that is the most cucked thing I have ever seen

have you considered carrying something that could be used as a weapon but is plausibly deniable

>>31436403
You can be armed with a gun in Northern Ireland, or a sword + dagger in Scotland actually

>>31436403
>Kill me (it won't be hard)
How the fuck am I supposed to kill you with a rape whistle? That's hard as fuck nigga.

>>31436403
Carry a knife that has a blade up to 3 inches long.

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>>31436414
This. Absolutely fucking incredible.

>>31436414
I can't even buy pepper-spray, the closest thing is basically spray paint advertised as non-toxic CS spray. All it does is stain a person's skin/clothes for a few days.

>>31436426
Idk, I work in a place where we use stanley knives but I'm not sure that would go well if I had to use it and then explain why I was carrying a weapon of mass destruction.

>>31436403
Why would you purposely move to a rough area anyway? Plus you can own weapons you utter twonk, firearms are a no no unfortunately, but barely anyone owns one.

> Probably some yankee faggot imagining everywhere in the uk is as much of a dump as his shithole hood

>>31436471
Cheap cost of living, near a major city and I'm a yorky man mesen la.

>>31436403

*cough*

Okay, here's the thing about UK self-defence law. You can use pretty much any object to defend yourself, but it's intended purpose cannot be that of a weapon.

So example, I'll keep a baseball bat by my bed, however as far as the police/state is concerned 'I was polishing it at the time Officer, that's why I had it in my hand'. Retarded I know, but that's what it is.

>>31436489
Just because you live somewhere cheap doesn't suddenly make it Syria. No one who comes to live in the UK mobes into a shit area unless they are some sort of refugee.

More chance of you dying armed to the teeth in texas than in some scheme in the UK

>>31436403
Carry either a metal-body pen (not one designed for self defense) or a pocket sized flashlight and use it to strike

>>31436403
>move to extremely rough area of the US
> buy guns
> get shot regardless as every bucktoothed cunt/dindu is armed

>>31436536
I'm from Yorkshire, I moved to a cheap shithole near to a major city so I could earn better money and save up to live in the city itself or in a more affluent area. I don't know why you think I'm a yank.

>>31436403
The ol' rape alarm, a real favorite of my friends and I. You see we just love RBH (rapin' boy hole, it's all we talk about so we have to shorten it to save time) and I tell you what, rape alarms and rape whistles function somewhat akin to a deer call, alerting myself and other rapists that there is someone RBH without us. Like a city wide rapist invite.

>>31436461
Are you white? Do you dress relatively well? If so you're never gonna get stopped by the police.

>>31436567
Because you spelled defence yankee style you fat bitch.

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I am a bicycling fag living in the downtown area. Lot's of homeless. Thus I have an excuse to wear a helmet, arm and shin guard. My "weapon" is a metal extendable selfie stick.

I had beaten more than one bike thief that try to steal my bike. Do I even have to tell which demographic they are if I am living in the US?

>>31436403
just carry a landmine with you everywhere you go. no one will fuck with you then, police or baddie alike.

>>31436403

Just go the good old biker route and carry "tools" for your work.

Small ball peen hammers were popular, rolls of coins for your fists, Lock in a sock, etc.

>>31436598
>My "weapon" is a metal extendable selfie stick.

Huh. That's a pretty smart. I'll have to find a particular hard one though.

>>31436613
Lock in a sock won't work. Try explaining that you never intended a lock in a sock as a weapon. Same goes for snooker balls etc.

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>>31436598
>selfie stick
Why on earth don't you have a tire pump?

IN Scotland you can own pretty much any blade you like, you'll look like a total cunt though and get no respect for it, just keep a skian dhub if you have to. I live in Glasgow, murder capital of western europe, and i cant think of anyone that walks around armed.

>>31436636
because CO2 pumps are a thing

>>31436625

Buy a selfie stick and an actual extendable baton, then break off the head of the selfie stick and super glue it to the baton

>>31436636
>using something useful as a self-defense weapon
Hence the selfie stick.

>>31436623
ah, no reasonable argument Lashawn

People seem to be missing the point. You can't just carry round everyday objects to use as a weapon. You actually have to have a valid reason for carrying the object. You can use a selfie stick, you can't carry round a lock in a sock.

>>31436661
For bludgeoning bike thieves with, not pumping your tires. Unless you're going to beat someone with the CO2 cartridge.

>>31436683
Yes. Something you need anyway, is already on your bike, is in hand as easily as your water bottle, is cheap to replace, and easier to justify having to a hostile cop.

I can't believe you'd buy and carry a selfie stick for that, unless you found one with a lead core and cat o' nine tails USB flail or something.

>>31436714
The OP seems to be missing a few brain cells, who the fuck deliberately moves to a shite area of the UK, even then the chances of being murdered are far smaller than in the majority of large US cities, and yet, despite several people mentioning the weapons you can weild, fat no neck yanks ignore it and spew shite about we're all about to die from some horrific act of violence.

>>31436536
>armed to the teeth in texas than in some scheme in the UK
What are you doing on /k/

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>>31436761

I doubt OP is a biking fag, otherwise he would be loaded with necessary tools he can use as a weapon anyway. Thus, a selfie stick is most apt. Even normies have them and you can blend in and conceal your power level.

IE Assault Bike Wheel. pic related.

>>31436817
I'm a welder for Babcock the shipbuilders m8

>>31436817
He's doing mental gymnastics to justify his crippling buyer's remorse.

>>31436403
Better get good at running or fighting, OP

>>31436837
Those are offensive weapons AND stolen goods, I know you love the meme that this is somehow what is percieved and weaponry in the UK, but nevermind.

>>31436874
Why'd the cops steal a bicycle wheel?

>>31436428
You can kill someone with just about anything. Even an MRE spoon

>>31436891
Still hard as fuck, nigga. I'd have to poison the rape whistle, leave it somewhere within reach and where OP would see it, and then try to rape him.

And he's probably not even attractive.

>>31436536
>laughs in Texan

>>31436922
rude

>>31436874
It says weapons sweep bruh. If it said 'weapons and stolen goods' we wouldn't be laughing at it.
Also, their response was a bit stupid, too.

>>31436403
"Shut up and take it you stupid white bastard. I hope all you white fuckers get raped and killed"
-UK Government

>>31437065
NIce bullshit there Hank, no such thing as UK law though,

>>31437235
Nice letters there, William. No such thing as a coherent sentence in your post, though.

>>31437235
Right--it's EU law.

>>31437285
Unfortunately for you there is, different laws apply in different parts of the UK, so take your cock out of your hand and have a look, instead of getting your info from yanktards

>>31437382
er, no.

>>31436403
Obviously gear and a solid fucking gym regiment.

>You get the perk of snatching purses on the weekend, which is apparently 100%safe

>>31437400
Well, until your new queen invokes article 50. After that, it's just Sharia law.

>>31437420
The Queen cant make laws, also, she is only sovereign in England and Wales

>>31437386
Oh yeah. I forgot about the renowned UK laws. They REALLY highly value freedom and self reliance in the UK.

Hah

>>31437447
No, no, the Tory queen.

>>31437473
Same rule applies, can only make laws in those areas.

>>31437662
Right. And then it's just Sharia, like everywhere else.

>>31437703
Well no, because outside of those areas is Scotland and N. Ireland, which are over 98% white

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Just wear a full suit of plate. though armor is probably illegal in the UK too.

>>31437754
98 percent white just means Scotland has a machete deficit; it doesn't change your legal system.

>>31437813
It does, Scottish legal system is totally separate. Always has been.

>>31437900
except it is still subservient to the UK parliament, and UK has a Unitary government system.

so the scots couldn't repeal all gun control. laws.

>>31436403
Then the next thing they'll tell you is there is a tax and fee to possess the rape alarm.

>>31436403
This is what happens when you spell it "defence".

>>31437922
no, but never mind.

>>31437923
you go to jail if the bobby shows up and you aren't being raped.

In tribute to my UK bros, I will have the Union Jack and a corgi engraved onto my next lower receiver, and name it "Rape Alarm".

>>31437971
Why not make the "safe" setting say "Rape Alarm"

>>31437990
I like your style. Maybe Ill add a suppressor named Rape Whistle

>>31436566
>move to uk
>be average law abiding citizen
>get raped/mugged because every limey/rapefugee knows all bongs are unarmed

>>31438038
>tight, virgin sphincter tears Ahmad's leathery pole
>get arrested for assault, hate crimes

>>31436403
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cod_Wars
They got beat three times by a nation that has only a Coast Guard

>>31436403
If you defend yourself against your enemies (Muslims), they win!

>>31436403
in your house basically anything goes, just make sure you never even so much as imply that you had pre-meditated bludgeoning/chopping up your intruder. absolutely claim anything designed as a weapon that you use in an incident was an ornament/collectible. do not kill them if they either try to run or have not at least bloodied your face. knee-cap them regardless though.

outside of your property theres different rules though. nothing designed as a weapon can be carried (and remember a person with criminal intent wont likely be following these rules), only non-locking folding knives under 3-inches can be carried without good reason; like chefs carry chef knives, builders carry stanleys etc.

this makes your options very limited. a long, heavy chain on your keychain with some padlocks (keep the corresponding padlock keys on a loop on their locks coz hey you never know when you might need to padlock something)
get a FAT bike chain for your bicycle.
darts are great, perfectly excusable, minimum damage, maximum pain.

my personal favorite is a swiss army knife with a centre-folding hole-puncher or phillips-head screwdriver. use like a push-knife.

in a similar fashion you can use nail-scissors.

hope this is useful OP and anyone else inna uk

>>31436414
This. If your laws make you a victim, you have to ignore them.

Always remember: better to be judged by one than to be carried by six

>>31436566
Move to comfy crime free part of us
Buy guns
Jack off

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Are these banned in UK?

>>31436403
You could get one of those dagger things that Sikhs carry and claim its a religous item

>>31436403
If this is a thing, this ask the police site, why hasn't /k/ trolled them for the lulz yet?

>>31436414
That only works if everyone does it at the same time.

If you are one of the few carrying a knife for self defense or a pepper spray you will have your life completely fucked by the police.

no one is gonna go after you if you defend yourself m8, just get a nice big blade and say it's for food or some shit. Or just try and get a license for a shotgun/rifle, if you shoot intruders you'll probably get arrested but no one will convict you over that shit, the tried to do that to a guy who shot two intruders in Yorkshire I think, but the judge basically said he was well within his rights to do so and that the whole trial was a waste of time

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>>31441438
I think so. These gas guns are only in use in Russia as far as I know.

Just get a knife, OP. Sure the police may arrest you and whatnot, but if your life is at stake, so be it. It's not like the police just randomly stops people, right?
Or you could get an antique gun like pic related.

>>31436403
Think about it like this, OP: If your area is lawless enough that criminals can assault you and not face prosecution, then you can fight back with equal impunity. You just have to think like a criminal.

If you use a collapsible baton or something to beat the shit out of some chav mugger, you don't call the police to report it or stick around the scene letting witnesses get a good look at you. You get the fuck out of there and tell nobody what you did.

>>31436589
British police have to stop and frisk 2 white people for every minority frisked, so they don't get called racist.