>Hey anon, think fast, hahaha!

Not even with a rented dick.

can't think when my dick is hard

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>whoops, I came
>swear it never happens to me

Hey that's pretty funny chealsea just make sure it's not loaded, you wanna do some more Jell-O shots with me?

And that's the story of how I fucked up my second marriage.

We need to talk....

>>31204271
*Recoil back in my hakogen instinct*

"Heh, m'lady that's not the proper way to aim the gun"

*Gently embraces arms and leads gun away from my direction*

"M'lady this is how you properly aim"

*With a gentle fervor I lean against her from the back and help guide her finger to the trigger*

"This is how you do it my dear, now pull the trigger"

>>31204271
I'd punch that cunt in the face for doing that

>>31204271
>pick up a toolbox
>beat her up with it
>pick up the gun
>take her clothes
>whisper in her ear
>GREY TIDE WORLD WIDE
before being tased and sun batoned.

>>31204306
>my gut gets in the way
>the smell repels her, then she vomits over the firing line when I utter the phrase "m'lady"

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>TRIGGERED
>respond with almighty Cooper's patented MOZAMBIQUE brand MOZAMBIQUE DRILL
>POP POP POP
>2 in her chest, one in the head
>perfect execution, flawless performance
>Jeff would be proud

>>31204302
You going to tip your fedora?

>>31204271
Cute girl, trashy body ink.

>>31204271
>draw my katana in a defensive stance to deflect the bullets

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>>31204271
Aaaaaa

Finger off the trigger you rookie scum
And stop pointing the gun at something you don't want to shoot

>>31204315
You wouldn't do shit. Every dude within a 100 foot radius would pound your chinless face into the ground.

>>31204361
You are cringy as fuck.

>>31204361
she's pointing it at you though

>>31204360
You spelled "boolets" wrong, lordofedges.

>>31204365
>*tips fedora*

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>If sh-she did dat I'd duh-duh-defend myself

LOL, you fucking faggots wouldn't do a goddamn thing and you fucking know it.

You'll always be a passive faggot.

>>31204355
nah just dump the dumb bitch for one that's not a moron

>>31204361
Huh, after all these years I realize thats a movie prop M16

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>>31204335

>>31204335
See a ligger, pull the trigger.

>>31204433
>implying I wouldn't magdump through her fake tits

>>31204271
As soon as I saw the tattoos, I was outta there.
It's your own fault if you fail to notice the warning signs.

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>>31204271
How about no?

>tattoos
Just why?

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>>31204271
>Seemingly flat chested
>those biceps
>Dat crimson chin
>"Her"
>"She"

"STOP POINTING THAT FUCKING GUN AT ME YOU QUEER TRANNY FREAK!"

>Follow with liberal application of Vietnam jungle boots

That bitch has some big arms.

Is that a sign she's about to blow the fuck up?

Is she an enlistedfag's wife?

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>>31204379
>Being concerned over firearm safety is cringey

>>31204271
cute.
>then I got to the tats
Alarm!
360 the fuck outa there.

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is it true that every dude on any given range is thirsty as fuck?

If that's true, could you reasonably defend yourself against some dumb broad when every other manlet and boomer on the range is thirsty as fuck for anything that is under 380lbs?

>>31204555
I'm thirsty for Bridget Regan.

>>31204271
Then I wonder why I stepped in front of the firing line to take a picture.

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>>31204555

>>31204610
DAT SUH FEMALE

>>31204271
Clearly time to stand my ground and ventilate that cocksucker

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>>31204555
No one more thirsty than a range rat boomer

>>31204688
Enjoy everyone on range killing you to protect that poor woman (or "girl" for maximum pity points)

>>31204271
>not doing this in response
https://youtu.be/_-qKl-dpWbk?t=4m44s

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>not having a gorka (ex) gf

>>31204271
You haven't even taken the safety off, rookie.

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>>31204851
So much wish had

>>31204339
>2 in her chest
More like 1 in each chest hue

>>31204518
You're fucking paranoid nigger, Jesus.

>>31205680
Even if it doesn't have a dick (anymore), the tat shows it has something.

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>>31204290
>my second marriage
you just don't quit do you

>>31204277
Why, she's kinda cute.

>>31205808
He's an enlistedfag, they are walking stereotypes.

>>31205810
I genuinely can't pinpoint it, but I do not want to fuck that woman.

Maybe it's my white-trash-dar.

>>31204518

>seemingly flat chested
Small tits are no less feminine than big ones
>those biceps
...are tiny. She's pressing her arms tight against her body and that makes the flab spread out and her arms look thicker.
>Dat crimson chin
When people grin their chins become more pronounced because the skin is stretched. Her chin looks normal.

>>31204851
>ex
Did she find you chinese cartoon child porn collection?

>>31204689
kek
i'd recognize Angeles anywhere
I never see anybody that looks like that when I go
maybe some hot asians on the pistol side but I don't wanna die so I don't look

>>31205680
>not being paranoid
It's like you want to die.

There is literally nothing wrong with being paranoid.

>>31204271
>teleport behind her
>unsheath my katana

Psh, nothin personal.

>>31204335
I wish I played SS13 so I'd understand these memes

>>31205810
>tattoos, exposed gut, "pre-worn" jeans, man jaw, widow's peak, etc.

>>31204271
>Panic
>Fall on my ass as I start shooting wildly
>Almost all of them are misses
>One hits her earmuff
"OMG ANON WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT."
>Spend the next five minutes screaming "CHEEKI BREEKI, JESUS FUCK" and "CUMSHOT" as the adrenaline wears off while she screams at me for shooting

>>31205810
She's trashy as fuck, bro.

>>31204689
ive seen some fine ass at angeles

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>>31204360

>>31204271
>man hands

404 ass not found.

>>31206262
no she probably got weirded out by having to sleep by the giant ass hentai pillow

>>31209386
>implying trashy isn't hot at times

>>31206262
nah, i broke up with her due to reasons i do not care to elaborate on a mongolian pottery forum.

>>31204271
>Instinctively dive to side.

>>31210899
You got cucked bro, we were able to figure it out.

>>31204290
>And that's the story of how I fucked up my second marriage.


Nigger, if that little inbred strumpet and some jello shots could make you "fuck up" you second marriage, then she actually saved you.

>>31212755
Are you saying an enlisted man who uses his rank as his tripcode is fucking stupid?

>>31210899
>it was real CP
say no more senpai

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>>31212772
How does the old naval officers' handbook put it?

>Beware the enlisted man, though ignorant and sloth, they possess inordinate abilities for cunning and deceit.

Of course, this is coming from a guy who spent a grand total of six months in the Army (15-years ago) before they decided that it would be best if I left. So, you can make your own conclusions there.

>Photographer standing on the "hot lead flying around" side of the bench

The girl seems to be only half the problem, and no more.

>>31204271
>Bring up my shield
>thrust forward my spear, hitting her throat

>>31204271
Hey, whoa. Haha okay put that down. Didn't we go over this in our safety briefing? I think we're done for the day.

(never let her near a firearm again)

>>31212859
Dank you bor your serbice. Dank bor serbice. Dak you. Serbice.

Danks bor serbice.

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>>31204306

>>31204271
>tattoo

Nope

>>31204271
>move forward
>grab gun with the left
>make "closed hand to face contact"
>grab my shit and run like the wind
>eat phone while running

>>31212859

>Six months in the army
>Medically discharged

You shouldn't even be using the moniker Sarge, private...

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> Hey RSO can you believe this?
> Spots OP taking pic...
> "Are you fucking kidding me, all right y'all are done, get out of here"

>>31213073
>Implying RSOs aren't thirsty as fuck for a woman's approval

Confirmed for never encountering an RSO.

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>>31204290
>second marriage

im on my 4th, Sarge

>>31213111
Age 24?

>>31213106
I don't know where you shoot, every RSO I've encountered is a stickler on safety and procedures. But then again I shoot at a multi department, state LE range.

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>>31213139
26

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>>31213139
29

remember kids, BAH + strippers does not equal happily ever after

>>31213331
>>31213347
>multiple catherine bell posting

who fucking watched JAG anyway

>>31213073
>pic
No, you are not. In fact, look at your finger right now, fatass.

>>31204271
Take the gun out of her hand, beat her with it until she's uncoscious and proceed to raep