Remember Basic?

>>31160093
Fuck off, you shit-eating subhuman faggot.

>>31160093
>Army Basic, 92
>Senior Drill SFC Luther Rutlage
>Always yelling, calling us "pissweeds" and "dickweeds"
>qualled on a A2

OP here
"Drop, dick,drop"
"That's the type of shit i like"
one of the few autistic Drill Sergeants was fond of saying "I had a private like you last cycle"
m16a1

>>31160093
>PRIVATE WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL IN YOUR RACK
>drill sergeant i have an erection and didn't want anyone thinking i was a fag drill sergeant
>... GOOD ANSWER PRIVATE

Fort Sill, '93. I actually qualled on an A1. There were just a few left in the armory.

>>31160093
>NBC study
>"the first nuclear attack was at Ypre in belgium"
>(me) excuse me sir, are you sure you didn't mix up with the first gas attack ?
>sergeant then proceed to yell the fuck out at me telling to never interrupting him again

I regret having wasted to much time being commanded by retards with half of a gorilla IQ

>>31160117
'06

"Dickweed" was still popular. Qualified on A2s with irons.

Guys coming into my unit in 2012 were complaining about qualifying on the range with irons. Apparently they qual with Aimpoints nowadays in BCT. They were also 6 foot+ and complaining about the fixed stock of an A2. It was amazing how old I felt bitching at them about back in my day.

I had a the biggest god damn cambodian you ever saw for a drill sgt at Fort Sill basic. His named was Kuch.

two of my ait drill sgts were busted for having sex with their female soldiers after I had already graduated and left. One of them was a SFC senior drill. He was always talking about family and jesus.

one of the other platoons in my AIT company was mostly privates that went to benning or knox. which are/were male only basic. that platoon had this blonde female drill sgt. She might have been above average in high school, but in the army she was fat and average. Yet those dumb shit privates evidently thought she was hot after 9 weeks of nothing but dudes. Every morning after PT they would walk to and from the showers with just shower shoes and a towel on. Every morning that female drill sgt pops up the off limits stairwell and screams at them to put some "god damn clothes on".

showers at basic almost never had hot water. the drill sgts liked to claim that it was because the building's boiler was broken. though if you were in the right place and had above average hearing. You would hear the first sgt, company commander, or senior drills decide to shut off the hot water because we didn't do well during that day's training. There was always hot water after a ruck march, ftx, and the days when the families came to visit.

>>31160093
>BENDS
>AND
>THRUSTS

among other things, I barely remember recruit training

>>31160171
I remember when being trained on rifles, the drill sergeant was attempting to explain the ballistic arc. He drew a straight line that drooped down at the end. Even not knowing shit back then I could tell that something was off.

In NTC I overheard a SFC explaining that it's illegal to shoot a .50 at personnel and that if you ever do it and get questioned you get around it by claiming you were aiming at the enemy's equipment and "accidentally" hit the enemy (even if it was illegal to use a .50 on people this defense would be retarded and never work).

Helping with WTC, I've had training NCOs instruct soldiers that a buried IED made of an artillery shell is a "projected IED" because artillery shells are meant to be projected.

People are fucking retarded, man.

>>31160171
>>31160233
I found it best to just not bother correcting anyone that is doing training. If I had soldiers, I would later train them properly.

>>31160233
I was told something similar when I went to schools for tracks.

We were told the .50 was only to be used on enemy equipment like light armored vehicles, trucks, buildings, gun emplacements, artillery pieces, uniforms, helmets, belts etc.

>>31160266
>>31160233
The "don't shoot people with .50 rule" is horseshit.

I was a m2 gunner in trucks occasionally when I was deployed. I was never told to not shoot at people.

I think this bit of oldnco lore was created to conserve fifty ammo and make soldiers pull out their service rifle to shoot at close range human targets.

>>31160251
In the situation with WTC I was supplying training aids and was *supposed* to advise as a specialist. But the instructors there were barely literate and were interpreting the circulum materials in the most thick headed way possible, so whenever I said something that went off script to a soldier, they'd jump in to "correct" me. I feel like I actually was able to impart some actual knowledge to a few of the brighter troops when the instructors were away though.

>>31160251
>just not bother correcting anyone that is doing training
the problem was each bullshit that guy was saying (taking from my NBC example) was written back by the recruits on their notebook and leaned as well.
when the test come, what a surprise, everyone has learned bullshit.

That, I can't stand it.
Later I qualified as a Radio specialist, some non-radio was doing a lesson about some radio-material and saying incorrect data. Tried to correct him but all the crap happened again
>hurr durr me bigger rank than you, I am right I do the study you write !

>>31160266
>uniforms, helmets, belts
kek

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>>31160093

US Navy RTC 2003

Great Lake

HOLY SHIT RECRUIT ARE YOU A FUCKING SCIENTIST

HOW IN THE FUCK DID YOU FUCK UP LACING UP YOUR BOOTS

qualled on m500/m9

>>31160289
I'm aware. I was pointing out how stupid myths turn into "facts" when SNCOs repeat them.

>>31160266
We had .50 caliber rifles, and we *constantly* got people repeating myths to us. The deal is that those rifles are intended for enemy materials. The reason you generally get one out is to shoot through materials and not straight up at a person. That much is true. However, if you are in a position to shoot an enemy with one, there is no problems.

People don't understand "intended use" of a weapon is not the same as "you can only use it a certain way legally". It's like AT weapons. They are intended for armor, but there is no legal reason they can't be used against infantry, it's just that it's usually impractical.

>>31160289
It is bullshit, the instructor who told me that then went on to tell us how he shot a 15 year old kid with an RPG to pieces with a .50, I have yet to hear a story about someone being bitched at for using the .50 on people.

After a recruit stabbed another one in the neck with a pencil, DS on duty called our SDS, SSG Braswell
>Hey brazzle-razzle, thought I'd give you a ringle-dingle...

>>31160337
It's because .50 weapons are listed as anti-material/anti-materiel weapons. Mouth breathers draw some weird conclusions from that rather than take it at face value.

>>31160342
bruh

We had the same shit happen. Woke up in the middle of the night to find investigators everywhere in the squad bay. Was a pair of scissors this time around though, dude missed the jugular by an inch

Had another dude end up with stress-induced seizures and almost ended up choking on his tongue.

The M16A2, the way it should be.

Man my DI yelled so much shit at us. I think the one that I remember was that I was pond scum, dick hole and assfag

Also, fatfuck, and fatbody but those are pretty standard

>>31160355
>Mouth breathers draw some weird conclusions from that rather than take it at face value.

Thats pretty much half of whats wrong with the military

>>31160295
>>31160294
2011 and we are out doing our company's only field exercise for the year.

for some reason we couldn't just go to sleep in the training camp barracks. even though we have all been up since 0400, drove three hours in a convoy, spent all day outside in blazing sun, set up a TOC site in the dark, most of us had only had one MRE to eat that day, and it was 2300 and we had to be up at 0500 tomorrow.

So while we are dicking around, outside the barracks, they decided to do some hip pocket training. we're walking around like we are in a convoy of trucks. this sgt who has been in the army less years than i have is running it. He hasn't deployed yet either. He is training the privates and everyone else to a Herring Bone when their convoy gets attacked.

1. that is for when you are getting straffed by enemy air assets.
2. he was training it as a reaction to hadji shooting at you with his ak.

I tried to correct him but he just gets all angry. his incoherent screams are all "muh rank", "you disrespecting me corporal". If I had been in a real unit like I was a bragg, and not this chicken shit outfit in Japan. I would have either had a SSg back me up immediately or that buck sgt would have known well enough to listen to seasoned vets, regardless of rank.

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>>31160370
For some reason Fat-Nasty always got a chuckle from me, "heinous" was used liberally as well

Jesus you guys, its all coming back to me

>pic related

Squid here

Had an RDC say to the division that we "don't know DICK about FUCK"

I use that phrase regularly now. Qualified A2.

>>31160382
When I went through WTC I was in a class with a bunch of 10th mountain guys who had just come back from Iraq like a month prior.

They were getting trained on how to react to contact by guys who hadn't deployed for 5+ years and had done short initial invasion stints, basically no experience with IEDs and insurgent ambushes.

I think I heard "no, that's stupid" from a classmate about every five minutes.

>>31160093
Had a kazakhstani RDC that was about the most stereotypical russian ever. Another RDC was a short lady that was mostly-black and part-korean.
>ANOOOON, YOU WAAAAALKING PIIIILE OF WHAT-THE-FUCK...

>>31160410
My recruiter use to scream that at us before we went to BCT.

Fuck you Sgt. Slone with your faggot ass Ranger tab.

>>31160411
oh god yes.

We did convoy training in that chicken shit outfit. They tried to train the old Vietnam era Porcupine convoy security. Where you just load up trucks with all your soldiers. Then have them all facing out with their rifles.

Which you just don't do in the sandbox. Because that is how you get your company wiped out by IED.

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>>31160325
I personally can never fathom how someone can be at the same time able to build gun using electromagnetism that destroys target miles away through a thick piece naval armor yet are somehow unable to understand how shoelaces work and have to use velcro shoes instead.

>>31160449
Yeah, I get training with humvees and 5 tons because that's what equipment is there. But you've got to treat them like MRAPs so you can actually simulate mounted tactics. God knows there is already enough magic wand waving in training.

When it comes to IED training, which is my speciality, I go full REEEE. There is no reason to train infantry to go and touch that shit. And they IEDs they plant are always nonsense. I remember being tasked to disarm IEDs at NTC and it was impossible because it would literally be a wood box or whatever with some wires glued on. We tried treated them for real, but they were so lazy we couldn't even figure out what kind of IED they were trying to mimic. Then they'd be all "hurr durr we blew you up with a cell phone". Ok? Where is the receiver? How'd it get past our CREW? How did it blow up after we'd already totally cleared the main charge of any blasting cap or initiator? The response was "it's training, some of that is simulated". Pretty worthless training.

>>31160497
and the worst part, somewhere on that base is a warehouse full of good training aids. officers and ncos are just too fucking lazy to check it out, be responsible for it in the field, clean it, and then turn it in.

So they use random trash in place of things that look like stuff. Which causes the soldiers going through training to start treating everything as a simulated IED, grenade, etc. So then they stop advancing through the exercise. As they stop every 5 feet to spend 20 minutes going through the routine of going to ground, rally, call it in, accountability, disarm, etc. So the OCs get frustrated at the trainees. I'm just sitting there as OpFor and wondering when I'm going to be able to shower and sleep in my own bed.

>>31160567
Ft. Polk had a JIEDDO center which was more than happy to build IED trainers that would actually complete a circuit to buzz or pop smoke.

Nobody but EOD ever visited, even though any random unit could request some IED trainers for free for any kind of unit training.

OP here. wasn't so much interested in stories of basic (i.e. getting fist fucked in the shower), but rather some of the interesting things your drill sergeant had to say to all you recruits.
like the gravel voiced senior drill sergeant saying to everyone who made the mistake of walking on the lawn to "get of my damn grass".

>C/4/30 Sand Hill 1988
>SDS would call us "legs" as an insult.
>Little did I know back then that he was actually a cherry.
>Qual'd on an M16A1

>>31160233
>a buried IED made of an artillery shell is a "projected IED"
>because artillery shells are meant to be projected

kek, even if it had been previously fired the term is "Unexploded Ordinance"

What unit was this?

>projected IED
fucking LOL

>>31161491

Went through Thai ROTC, the DI likes to compare everyone to a water buffalo. Dumb like a water buffalo "มึงโง่เหมืนควายนี่หว่า", dark skin is an insult so he'll say you're dark like that.

During training on grenades, dude disassembled a live one, had it on the demo table. I'm about 4 rows back. Dude pulled the pin on it, set off the fuse, I was the only one ducking behind the table.

Did rifle qual on an H&K 33.

>>31161555
Don't be so harsh. The IED obviously has some emotional issues.

>>31160093
US Army OSUT Fort Knox February-July 2004

One DS liked to call us YooHoos and the other called us crazy when we fucked up.
"Hey Crazy what the fuck are you doing?" When we heard that we knew we were going to be smoked.
Skinny black DS would tell us: "You Privates could screw up a wet dream." He also had a thing about trying to catch us masturbating.

Didn't qual on any rifle. Didn't need to, Tanker M9

>>31160266
well, the hague convention (i think) does specify that causing undue suffering is forbidden (duh).

There is also the proportionality question in play, ie. whether an act of violence is in proportion to the military advantage gained, although that is something very, very difficult to determine and is only criminalized (afaik) in extreme circumstances.

I dont think a .50 BMG against personell constitutes a warcrime, no. Though there is an argument where using it systematically and with the stated and deliberate aim to increase suffering, where say a 7.62 would fill the exact same role without any loss in military advantage, would. That would be, however, a theoretical argument afaik.

>>31160093
Went though Benning in '13. Had a drill that loved loved to call people cum dumpsters. Dude was pretty calm for the most part, but he lost his shit pretty hard a few times and it sucked ass.

Qualled on an m4 with an m68 aimpoint cco.

>>31160093
>Ft Benning summer 07
>had privates go AWOL
>have to do firewatch inside bays and outside at base of stairwells
>be me outside at stairwell
>one of my DS on night shift in parking lot talking to his wife
>calls me over
>points at our platton's bay
>lights fluttering in windows
>go figure out what that is
>come back from bay
>tell DS it's just the fire guard waking somebody up
>DS says "well it looks like some fucking watergate shit, private"
>"yes, drill sergeant"
>"you probably don't even know what watergate is, do you private?"
>"watergate was a scandal involving former president Nixon ordering individuals to break into the DNC headquarters..."
>"shut the fuck up private, I get it, you went to college, didn't you?"
>"no drill sergeant, dropped out of high school"
>"you're in the right place now then, dipshit"

>>31161811
Rifle was m16a4 with CCO.

I had a drill instuctor Seargent hernandez, hispanic type, fond of calling us bitches.

You bitches wanna fucking laugh and smile? Sit down stand up sit down stand up until your knees cry in pain, then run with rifles, then push ups, burpees, the works.

SDI Sgt carney was fond of calling us stupid motherfuckers. 2012 Parris Island. Qualified with 4x ACOG RCO Scope on M16a4 Service Rifle

"I'LL KILL YOU PRI'ATE, I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!"

-DS Smith, Ft Knox 2008

>>31160093
canuck here
>one of them would always punctuate his sentences with "Full Stop"
>one of them would frequently say "That's a chargeable offence!" to goddamn everything
>one of them didn't have a catchphrase, wasn't playing Jarhead Instructor, and would just look at people in complete disbelief at the LARP bullshit he got himself into by agreeing to teach basic

also we had a french lady who'd always say "Autant" but that's not really a catchphrase, it's a genuine french verbal tic and basically means "wait a minute" or "correction; ... " because she would frequently fuck up english expressions.

We were also the last graduating class to train on the C7A1. Literally every other platoon except for one (not including ours) had the A2s with scopes.

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I can't believe I forgot this. Back in the day, every Drill Sergeant called everyone HERO.

>have an underage tryhard in the platoon
>thinks hes hot shit because he played paintball
>frequently lies about his "tactical experience", shit like being the "best shot in canada on a C7 in cadets" and shit like that (cadets do not use C7s, they use modified enfields and air rifles and the gold standard of a cadet shooter is 10m air rifle competitions)
>he shoots like garbage, is inept at everything, and seems to have gotten all his tactical advice from CoD games but not even the particularly good ones
>people start calling him "JTF"
>figure it's because he's a tryhard who probably said he wants to into JTF2 at some point
>ask someone about it during a slow period

>turns out one of the instructors called him that first and it stuck

gotta love living somewhere where SICC BANTZ are legal. i feel like in the US, making fun of recruits would get you released

>>31162005
Hazard of Electromagnetic Radiation to Ordnance?

>>31160093
I don't remember the specifics of what they yelled, but it sure was funny. They loved to gas us. They also liked to gas each other. I'm not sure if Basic Training companies are actually assigned CS grenades or if they just got them from the Chem school(Ft Leonard Wood)

'03, qualed A2/irons

>>31161928
>We were also the last graduating class to train on the C7A1.
Too bad, solid stocks are great for riot control aka beating people

>>31161718
"undue suffering" applies to weapons, not personnel. there are separate and much more well-defined laws for the treating of prisoners and such.

"overkill" is not a thing in international law. the fear of using anti-materiel rounds on people is collateral damage. a .50 might kill someone SO HARD that the round continues on and, say, passes through them without being destroyed or significantly slowed and ricochets off the pavement into a car. or even just tears up the tarmac/concerete below or behind the person, and now you have to explain to the city why you fucking destroyed their road to stop someone who had a knife.

>>31160289
I did "force protection" for a visiting US ship once and someone asked about that rule to the FPO. They explained it as basically that .50 is expensive, you'll chew up everything around the guy instead of just the guy, and while you're magdumping a thousand round box into THE TERRORIST, there might be a truck that demands your attention.

If you have only a .50, use it for god's sake, but write a report to your Div PO or even directly to your CO later that you were wildly understaffed and that there should have been a couple guys with small arms there with you too because The Shit Went Down and you were all alone for it.

>>31160436
I actually ran in to my recruiter in Iraq. He drove by me in a truck on base and yelled

>HEY ANON. (I stop and look over) I LIED TO YOU.

all the guys in the truck laughed their ass off and drove away. He was a funny fucker.

>>31162144
Actually
>someone forgot their combo or lost their key or something to a barrack box
>they had their rifle out though because you have to have it all the time
>instructor just grabs their rifle and bashes the lock apart with the buttstock

goddamn those things were fucking R O B U S T. Heavy unergonomic trash with controls all in the wrong spots, but even more R O B U S T than a toolbox

Bong here, RAF
>being a limp wristed piece of jizz crust

Or alternatively

>as smart as a shit on a hot skillet

Qualed on an A4 with iron sights.

Reasons for being yelled at: existing.

MCRD San Diego 2011

>>31160093

> Soup Sandwich
> Parade Pretty

Can't remember more because I have a form of dementia from IED.

Also, M16 baby...fuck a M-for-faggots.

AK47
"You look like a bunch of dickless pekingeses"

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You move like old people fuck - slow and sloppy.

>>31160093
My drill sergeant was a Puerto Rican. He had a thick as fuck accent. I have the hardest military bearing in the world thanks to him. Regardless of what he said, that accent made it funny. I could not stop laughing until he made me stop. For a hard two days he smoked us till my sense of humor went packing. I still cannot find traditional humor or comedians funny. Nothing that would make a regular man laugh makes me laugh anymore. I can't remember a lot of what he said, but the one thing he could always say to break me was a him detailing a trip to McDonald's in stupidly painstaking detail. His accent plus the detail he went into would put me into a fit of laughter that would not stop. He called me stained floor for the rest of it.

>>31160171
you probably should have kept your mouth shut

>>31162429
>thick as fuck accent.
Tambien!

Doo sahm poosh auhp! (do some pushups)

>>31162270
>unergonomic
>controls all in the wrong spots
What are you talking about, it's an AR. You've gotta have some weird anatomy for an AR to not be comfy

>>31162429
They always do that talk out of the side of their mouth and suck on their teeth shit.

>>31160093
>Fort Jackson, 76
>SSgt Carson, a Vietnam combat vet
>I'll beat you into the fucking concrete if you ever walk that close to me again, Anon.
>M16A1

He also punched a guy who muzzle swept the firing line, that was fun to watch.

>>31162469
>mag release is a button you have to extend your trigger finger to hit
>charging handle literally hits your body if you're shooting it prone, and is uncomfortable and shoulder-wrenching to work unless you take it off its point of aim while standing or crouching or sitting
>fire selector is fucking rounded so your thumb can slip off it
>front post requires a proprietary tool to adjust and is prone to getting caught on stuff and bending out of shape entirely; rear sight only has a horizontal adjustment
>forward assist is a meme that just makes it uncomfortable to sling as it digs into your back
>m-16 style furniture is straight up just a series of tubes and is entirely unergonomic

fuck ARs

bring back release paddles and side-charging

>>31162514
>what is a bolt release, the post

>series of tubes
>forward assist a meme

Whut

>fire selector is rounded

Oh, you're a slavaboo.

>>31160093
"Are you in love with me Private?

Do I have a dick on my forehead?

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME AT THE POSITION OF ATTENTION."

BCT in 2008. C/3-34, Relaxin Jackson. One fine December evening we're exiting the chow hall. One DS (not mentioned) is soloing the whole company. We form up outside behind the chow hall. It's breezy and cold in South Carolina, we're in filthy ACUs and ready to march back to the shitty prefab bays. DS NoName holds us at attention for a good 10-15 minutes then drops us. Down. Up. And what not. He goes on to lecture about how we're the bottom of the fucking barrel. Army doesn't want us. They want the kids in May who just graduated high school, not the old fucks that are gonna be empty uniforms. Smoking continues until dark, then we march home.

Fuck I loved BCT.

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>>31162514
>>mag release is a button you have to extend your trigger finger to hit
You're supposed to move your hand, not stretch out your fucking lanky fingers.
>>charging handle literally hits your body if you're shooting it prone, and is uncomfortable and shoulder-wrenching to work unless you take it off its point of aim while standing or crouching or sitting
If you have to use the charging handle regularly, you are doing something wrong.
>>fire selector is fucking rounded so your thumb can slip off it
Never had that issue, maybe it's specific to C7s or maybe it's specific to you and your weird fingers
>>front post requires a proprietary tool to adjust
boo hoo, it's not something you do often
>and is prone to getting caught on stuff and bending out of shape entirely;
Absolutely a lie, it's hard and durable steel. I think you just outed yourself as a neverserved, but I will go on anyway
>rear sight only has a horizontal adjustment
Must be C7 specific unless you are lying again
>>forward assist is a meme that just makes it uncomfortable to sling as it digs into your back
Never dug into my back. You're making this up as you go along, it's pretty clear now.
>>m-16 style furniture is straight up just a series of tubes and is entirely unergonomic
hahahahaha, baito desu ka?

In conclusion, you are a neverserved. You have never operated any form of C7 or AR. Now go read rule 2 and follow it, neverserved kid.

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>>31162501
Ah, back when shit actually mattered. I remember my Black Hat counting us in formation by punching each person in the chest. I was a decade beyond you in the 80s.

AATW!

>>31162597
>>what is a bolt release, the post
slippery, hard to engage for range drills, and too easy to disengage if you want to use it for its intended purpose of keeping the bolt locked back

>>31162607
>move your hand
move your hand where, it has a taper more shallow than the grade of an arizona highway
>charging handle
I need to use it to charge the rifle at least, and in clearing jams, which happen with alarming regularity because issued STANAG mags and issued ammo a shit
>fire selector
it's shit and terrible if your hands are sweaty, which happens anywhere drier or wetter than your grandmom's gooch
>proprietary tools
literally no excuse for this shit
>it's hard
not what I experienced, I knew plenty of guys with bent front posts that had to have them completely replaced
>rear sight
it might be C7 specific but it's a normal slotted screw that only moves side-to-side and not up or down
>never dug into my back
you never got a short sling
>m16 furniture
SHIT beyond S H I T

>n-neverserved ;_;
post your fucking cornflake fag

>Chillin out at some qual range
>"Hey Sergeant Ridley you look like Lance Bass!"
>"Who's that?"
>"He's some backstreet boy or something."
>Ridley kind of smiles a little bit.
>"Yeah he's the gay one!"
>Ridley just points to the ground and we all do push ups, flutter kicks, iron mikes, and mountain climbers in kit for an hour.

Still worth it.

>>31160497

If I can ask about IEDs - how do you go about defusing/dealing with it? I'm a civvie but I'd think unless you can wipe out whatever insurgent is lurking about with the detonator nearby he'll just blow it to shit the minute you send someone to try and defuse it.

>>31162270
I see what you did there, Anon. I'll see you in maint.

>>31162734
A lot of time they're just cell phone detonators that we can jam. If it's a command wire you can locate that with some equipment and cut it. If it's a pressure plate you can usually find it with mine detecting equipment.

EOD likes to do controlled dets with blocks of C4. Infantry people will either mark it and call EOD or shoot at it with a .50 or MK19 to break it up. We had one old ass Afghan dude attached to us that was KGB trained and he would just low crawl up to the motherfuckers and start stabbing them with a big knife.

"This shit isn't fucking funny, you faggots. If it happens again, I'll IT you to death. Am I making myself fucking clear?"

Someone had managed to take such a magnificent dump during boot camp that our RDCs attempted to unclog the toilet only to get it all over their shoes.

>>31162606
>>31162606
I'ma give myself a (You).

2008. We were issued M16A2s, iron sights. After weapons qualification, we get on the bus and go to the range for training on how to shoot from cover using blanks. This involved plywood cutouts standing on wooden 2x4 feet to simulate walls or building corners in a large open field. Some jackass got the idea that waiting in line wasn't fun enough, and we should start using the extra props as hurdles. SGM happened to be there. Holy fuck, the DS were pissed for being made to look bad. For the rest of the day, if you weren't on the firing line, you were low crawling with your nose and mouth in the cold, wet, muddy field.

Not funny? Fuck you, neverserved.

>>31160325
>HOW IN THE FUCK DID YOU FUCK UP LACING UP YOUR BOOTS

No lie, on my BMQ one recruit actually put his boots on the wrong feet. I have no fucking idea how inbred you have to be for that to happen. Unsurprisingly, he wound up washing out.

>>31162514
have you ever even fired one?
I fire the weapon with my nose on the charging handle as I site down the sites. It doesn't move at all.
A proprietary tool for the front post - all it takes is a nail. I'm still laughing at your stupidity.

>>31162842

>we should start using the extra props as hurdles

I witnessed a couple of airmen getting lit up when I was on the Truman because they were jumping over tow-bars for fun

>"GET YOUR ASS OUT OF THE AIR"
Can't remember how many hours we spent doing planks

>>31160325

We had a guy manage to put on his fucking dress blue pants inside-out, even managed to somehow button up a good deal of his buttons before the guy issuing clothes asked him what the fuck he was doing.

He's an ET3 now.

>>31162998
>"GET YOUR ASS OUT OF THE AIR"
followed by
>YOU'RE A SOLDIER, NOT A PORN STAR

Canadian Forces BMQ. Good times.

>>31163001
>We had a guy
In the US Army Infantry, we would have been doing pushups until dawn if we ever called anyone a "guy."

In the Infantry, we are men.

>>31160093
>Shakes webbing, it rattles
>"Christ, it's like a skeleton having a wank in a biscuit tin"

>>31163005

>YOU'RE A SOLDIER, NOT A PORN STAR

We had something similar but not as funny:

>YOU'RE NOT LOOKING FOR A FUCKING DATE

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>>31163015

>that machoness

right on

>>31163017
British military courses must have the absolute best course staff banter

>>31163033
They really do, obviously you shit yourself at the time because they are intimidating, but in hindsight it's pretty fucking funny.

>>31162111
your feelings are wrong

>>31163017
Holy fuck lol

>>31162812

Thanks for the explaination, that makes a lot more sense to me. I had this notion of literal wire-cutting like the Afghan dude was doing.

While I've got you - I swear I heard somewhere that with IEDs you're better off being outside of the vehicle than inside. At least back in the humvee era. That a load of bollocks or not?

>come on you broke dick bitches, post some shit. NOW.
your other goddamn left, private.

>>31163316
Either burn to death or get blown apart.

>>31162734
I'm the anon you asked, but the other guy is pretty much right. You've got to figure out as best as possible what kind of IED you're dealing with and react accordingly. Some have multiple ways of initiation.

Sometimes you're just fucked. I did a lot of dismounted work, and doing IEDs dismantling in the cover of darkness while scary had the trade off of being harder for baddies to observe.

We don't have to do manual entry as much as Hurt Locker (movie was retarded), but sometimes it happens. Especially with caches or culverts where you have to go tunnelrat mode.

Checked out a lot of dead bodies, as especially aggressive insurgents sometimes strapped up with radio controlled IEDs for their buddies to blow after they died. Sometimes those guys died where a robot simply couldn't reach.

EOD, we are nerds for nuances and advancements of IEDs. We built all kinds of weird trainer IEDs in our spare time even on deployment. We really took it as an affront when lazy NTC fucks hot glue a radio to a piece of putty, or bury a command wire leading to nothing (which would be fine for a fakeout training situation, except that they claim "hurr durr nope IED there you ded").

>>31161555
In EOCA terms, we call it "dropped/placed" because it isn't a dud or a bad round at that point. It's a fucking placed bomb.

What he was confused about is it being a projected projectile, which would be a UXO, as you said. If someone picked it up, said "Huh, look at that," and put it back down it becomes placed, even though it is still a projectile.

A projected IED has got to be one of the stupidest things I've ever read, in all honesty.

>>31163316
EFPs work by taking advantage of spalling. Basically they hit the hull so hard the interior metal shakes loose and becomes frag. Inside of vehicle becomes a meat blender.

Those IEDs are dangerous to infantry too, but are almost always set up to go after vehicles. So it's more about the fact you're riding in a more high priority target.

>>31161634
Stop protecting anon

>>31160093
>Be me, Parris Island January 2011
>Bus pulls up in front of red brick building
>Me and all the others have our heads down like we were told
>Driver suddenly says we can lift our heads and we do
>Drill Instructor comes on the bus "Blah blah blah, get off my bus"
>We all stand and run off
>I trip off the stairs and do a kinda barrel roll on the asphalt
>Halfway recover and run to the yellow footprints
>My first step on the island I tripped and looked like an idiot

>2013
>Canada
>get PT cock
>fat kid is struggling
>MCpl slides Tim Hortons application under fatties face
>the army isnt for everyone, private

>>31163401

Amusingly almost sounds like the NTCs were behaving like "Rocks fall everybody dies" GM or the "/teleports behind you" "nuh uh I have an anti-______ shield I stopped your attack" type kiddies.

>>31163436

Gotcha. You think they're going to continue to use IEDs in abundance the way they have been? I'm not too well versed in Israeli's scuffles in Lebanon or Gaza but from what I've heard or read it seemed like they never faced the kind of IED Spam that the US did in Iraq or Afghanistan. I'm wondering if it's a doctrine situation of the ISIS/Al-qaeda/Taliban.

Or are vehicle IEDs the new big thing for the jihadists?

>>31160093
bite me crank ssg taylor
looks like your granny shined those corcoran boots.

>>31160093
>You will not even think about smiling
>Not even if a blue squirrel jumped on my shoulder and started fucking my ear
RK 62, serial number 804714.

Just curious, do you Americans have any sort of "final exam" on rifle shooting and handling?

>>31160093
Called "Shitlips" quite a bit. DS H, looked like SGM Vining and talked nerdy. He would come in yelling "Get out of your fartsacks. I wouldn't want any of you to get bed sores." They also said "Doggone" a lot.

Funniest shit was 2 African immigrants. Some straight up Mutombo/Manute Bol looking mother fuckers. D.S. gave them shit all cycle. Told them that M16 was rifle, not spear and that they would probably excel at the bayonet range as long as they don't throw their firearm. Also wanted to see how fast they ran their 2 mile without shoes. FLW 97

>>31164715
>Just curious, do you Americans have any sort of "final exam" on rifle shooting and handling?
basic rifle marksmanship is a must pass or you cannot "graduate".

>>31160213
In high school my swim coach was always talking about jesus and his wife and daughter.

He's now in prison for having a threesome with two 16 year old girls on the swim team at a nearby hotel.

Now I always think people who go out of their way to showcase their religion are trying to hide something.

>>31160171
>he doesn't know about the nuclear holocaust of Belgium

>>31164912
What's it like?

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>remember basic?
Yeah

>>31164901
>They also said "Doggone" a lot.
the new and improved basic.
when i went through was almost no women anywhere, just a few civilian food service gals.
full uncensored jody calls...who could have known that political correctness would have killed such a great tradition.

>>31164915
>swimteam

to be fair, he would have to roll a 20 to pass his willpower save. all those tight teenage girls in tight swimsuits. constantly wet and pull their suits out of their ass, in front of him.

>>31162258
That is beautiful

>>31162290
I lived just across the way from there during that time. I used to track when recruits would be making their run outside and drive at their pace blasting CCR and other classics to make their run a little less shitty.

Did you ever see me?

>>31160213
I want to add to this.

the SFC senior drill that got caught banging a trainee. he was demoted a rank and taken of the trail. he was sent to the 20th engineer brigade at bragg. where I also happened to be. found out about it from a female soldier that I knew from AIT that showed to bragg a few months later.

there was also this other private from the same AIT company, that was in my commo shop. We saw him when we were getting on the plane at the Green Ramp, to go to Kuwait for our 2005 Iraq deployment. we laughed and pointed at him. you could see the shame on his face. as he recognized that his former AIT soldiers knew of his fuck up.

then we saw him a few more times while at Camp Beuhring, in kuwait. We pointed and laughed again.

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>>31161811
>>"no drill sergeant, dropped out of high school"
>>"you're in the right place now then, dipshit"

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>>31164951
>What's it like?
we spent maybe a full week on the range for the qualifying. being raised around firearms meant that i had really no problems grasping any of the fundamentals, but was surprised by the number of urban youth that had not a clue about their weapon. the day i qualified it was 113° F(the DS that kept up with the wet/dry bulb temperature used me as an assistant) on the range. you had to hit a least 23 pop up targets(50m to 300m) out of a total of 40 to pass. i was having a problem with keeping the sweat out my eyes but still manage to get a perfect score 40 out of 40.

>>31165175
Still feel confident in my decision. Being a combat infantryman was all I wanted out of life.

Sure, my shit is all fucked up now (inevitable when you accomplish your life goal at 19) but I wouldn't trade it for anything, including better physical/mental health or more money.

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get out the fuckin' cattle cars now you worthless pieces of shit, move dammit.
we even had to ride to graduation in these damn things.

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>>31160093
"I'm gunna IT you until you collapse from lung failure and the pink sock falls out of your asshole"

>>31165278
Near the end of our service we had this shooting/handling test, where in the beginning you walked towards the targets with a heavy rucksack and had to shoot the first targets with the ruck on your back, then ditch the ruck and run through multiple stages (each being closer to the targets), shoot from every imaginable and unimaginable position, shoot behind different covers, hit the targets in a predetermined order and change mags at an inhumane speed. You weren't allowed to miss any of the targets, you had to get a high enough score and naturally the targets didn't wait, if you didn't run or change magazines fast enough. The time frame to shoot was also very strict. We were graded either Good, Pass or Fail and I'd say around 20-30 % failed and only a handful was graded Good. I've been shooting since I was 12 years old and at that point we had already received all combat training and went through all live fire exercises but that test was still hard in my opinion.

>>31165434

They still use those fucking things. Christ those were horrible.

>>31164966
I need this clarified, is that the Army's boot camp or some other training?

>>31160093
>started teaching us marching commands
>gets to change step
>forget to lock arms at side during
>he locks onto my wrist
>why the fuck is your arm still moving anon?!? If i see your arm move again im going to fucking keep it!
>keep marching for a minute with him still holding my wrist

Still not the worst thing though

>just got all our uniforms, boots, etc
>waiting in formation
>start the taller tap shit
>get tapped
>step out right as instructor is passing me
>step directly onto his boot
>keep facing forward, body full cringe mode, at least my death will be quick
>he glares daggers into my soul, killing it instantly
>turns and keeps moving to the front without saying a word

Im glad he was content just killing me on the inside, probably didnt want to do paperwork explaining why i mysteriously died.

>>31165434
>>31165679
you got to sit in the cattle cars?

I only rode in them once at Sill. standing with two dufflebags and two barracks bag(laundry bag) full of stuff hanging on me. pressed in there like a sardine.

we had to march everywhere after that. except when we went to the Show of Force Show at the end of red phase. We got to ride in real buses, only because the show's location was too far to march to and march back.

>>31165771
the hair cuts on the guys and everyone wearing the same eyepro, says it is basic.

mix gender, so it is Leonardwood or Jackson.

cellphones. so it has to be from 2009 or later.
>when I went through basic in 2003. you only got to use a payphone on sunday, for 5 minutes. all personal electronics were strictly forbidden.

YOU OWE ME FOR ONE JELLY DONUT! qual'd M14

>>31160093
Ft Knox, 2008.
I never once heard the word 'hand' come out of a D/sgt's mouth. Your hands were always called 'dickbeaters'

>Jesus fucking christ, Private, I bet you could fuck up a wet dream
>Tore up from the floor up
>Make the fucking walls sweat
>I make homemade jerky and I'll salt it with the sweat off of these walls. You don't want Drill Sarnt's jerky to taste like shit, do you?
>Soup sandwich
Any time a private was caught with his eyepro up on his head like sunglasses or hanging out of his uniform
>Gimme them shits, private
>Drill Sgt Westbrook would then throw them as far as he could.
>He also did that with helmets left unstrapped.
He once threw a helmet into a treeline and the poor fuck was looking for it in the snow and underbrush for almost two fucking hours.
>What in the pink painted fuck
>Lower than whale shit

Qualifed on an M16A2 with irons. It was an A1 overstamped to A2 and set up in A2 configuration, and I'll never forget the sound an A2 makes getting thrown down a hallway or into our barracks bay.

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>>31161811
>>"you're in the right place now then, dipshit"

>>31166036
Fort Sill, 2003
>one drill sgt would throw full canteens at privates.
>same drill sgt would grab you by your id tags chain and jerk you around.
>4th of july and they made us all go to a Brad Pasley concert that was on base.
>drill sgts all got drunk while at the concert. couldn't call cadence properly on the march back.
>so we couldn't march in step properly. so we got smoked at like 2300, and the next day was the Record PT test.

>>31165081
Yeah, I honestly wouldn't have the willpower not to do something lewd down the line.

>>31161689
What the fuck is with all the jerking kerking?

>>31163723
>Amusingly almost sounds like the NTCs were behaving like "Rocks fall everybody dies" GM or the "/teleports behind you" "nuh uh I have an anti-______ shield I stopped your attack" type kiddies.

Basically yeah. The people running the training were often infantry or similar, and as far as they were concerned IEDs were magic black boxes, so when they were made to run a lane with IEDs, they IEDs ran on magic.

Not to say all infantry guys are dumb, I was attached to plenty who knew their shit, but the guys that always seem to get picked for NTC are duuuuuuumb.


>Gotcha. You think they're going to continue to use IEDs in abundance the way they have been? I'm not too well versed in Israeli's scuffles in Lebanon or Gaza but from what I've heard or read it seemed like they never faced the kind of IED Spam that the US did in Iraq or Afghanistan. I'm wondering if it's a doctrine situation of the ISIS/Al-qaeda/Taliban.

Irregular forces use IEDs, that's the way of things.

Hamas and such have different aims and situations than other terrorist/insurgent groups. Really for them, IEDs are meant to be a big show of defiance which are publicly in the eye of civilians. That's why they use Qassam rockets, which are on the scale of ordnance not much better in effectiveness than firecrackers. It doesn't matter if they kill anybody or not, what matters is that it puts them in the public eye as a constant thorn. Same deal with them using suicide vests or timed IEDs laid in civilian areas.

>Or are vehicle IEDs the new big thing for the jihadists?

Do you mean vehicle IEDs as in suicide cars, or anti-vehicle IEDs? Both are common. Nothing new.

>>31166259
con't


>>31163429
>A projected IED has got to be one of the stupidest things I've ever read, in all honesty.

Wellllllllllllll.........technically projected IEDs are a thing. An improvised mortar round is a projected IED, for example. Improvised rocket assisted munitions (those funny pictures of rocket motors with propane tanks on them you see posted sometimes) are also generally counted as projected IEDs.

So, they exist, but in the context of "this mortar has been turned into a pressure plate IED, but mortars are projected", yes, it is very retarded.

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>>31164901
>they would probably excel at the bayonet range as long as they don't throw their firearm

40,000 keks

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>>31166092
Been there, done that.

I smoked my ranger students while drunk as fuck. One of them was allergic to fire ants and went into anaphylactic shock. We called an amber lamps. He lived. We never got in trouble.

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>>31164915
i completely agree with this.

The people that go out of their way to tell you that they are honest? they are liars

The businesses that go out of their way to say they are religious/honest? They will fuck you

The people that go out of their way to look religious? They are hiding shit that would make a stripper blush

You nailed it, i have absolutely seen this prove itself out to the fucking T.

There is nothing wrong with being honest, or religious, or whatever, but where the showcasing starts the reality ends

>>31160093
All I know is that my buddy had a lower with a partially overstamped, but still visible "XM16E1" on it. I honestly thought that thing was gong to explode.

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>>31166440
>I honestly thought
I honestly thought I was going to get raped.

>>31160093
I had one DI on Parris Island who had both a speech impediment and a slight white-ebonic accent anyway. I dealt with it in abundant sunglasses except for one day, when I had just woken up and gotten on-line, and he told me to something not English-sounding, not even completely human. I turned my neck and asked if he could repeat what he had said, because I honestly couldn't make heads or tails of it. Fun was had that day.

>>31160093
>Army, Cavalry Reconnaissance, 2008
>Alferes (2nd Lt) Cardoso
>always saying shit like "fucking wimpy pussies"(best translation possible) and "low grade beasts"
>qualified on a G3

Good times.

>>31160213
>hot water
>in Basic

so americans ARE a bunch of fucking pussies

>>31166565
I Q'd on a G6

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4s6H4ku6ZY

>>31166565
>qualified on a G3

GAFPB?

>>31161499
>legs
Ha! Reminds me of my favorite one, "biped", and its cousin

> You! The bipedal.. thing, over there!

>>31160171
You should keep your smart fucking mouth shut desu

>>31165854
>eyepro
>in the Army
>THE ARMY

what the shit?

>>31166824
Yeah f-a-m? It's kinda been a big thing since, I dunno, the past decade?

Of all the shit to get in a huff about, protecting eyeballs from frag and shit ain't a big deal.

>>31166607
Up yours, ami. Not my fault you had to use the faggot rifle.

>>31166616
What? The only FBP i know is the shit submachinegun my country turned out. Shit would magdump if you let it fall to the ground.

>>31166839
Not american, m8. We didn't have any of that shit.

We did have plenty of Colonial War surplus guns, tough. The G3 i did basic with had been made in 1967. I had four knife marks on the stock. I bet it killed turras :D

That rifle was the shit. Perfectly sighted at 200m, didn't jam on me once. Rifle is older than my mom.

>>31162812
>start stabbing them with a big knife.
this is a very amusing mental image

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>>31167293
Afghans actually do this, yes.

Though it's kind of an inshallah situation about it's effectiveness. They usually don't make it to "old man" status.

I actually knew a competant Afghan EOD guy. He was very westernized and seemed constantly amused by the stupidity of his own people.

>>31160093
All I remember is the brony hunt aka "Brownie Hunt" where the DS would go around asking people if they were brownies / talking general shit about MLP trying to bait them out of the formation.

Someone capped the whole story years ago, was fun.

>>31162179
You a) didnt read the post or b) have no idea what youre talking about

>>31160494
It makes the world a little bit more funnier, in a sad way.

>USAF
>2014
>doing EC (Dorm guard) shit one night
>CQ rings us on the intercom
>"EC"
Can't remember what we were supposed to say, but dickhead wingman fucked it up
>sir trainee xyz reports as ordered, dorm B2, how may I help you?
>slight pause
>"yeah I'll take a Big Mac with a large fry and a coke"
>we have no idea what to say
>wish I had come up with something witty like that'll be $5.89 at the second window
>MTI gives us a second before proceeding to bitch us out over the intercom for fucking up the reporting procedure

>>31160093
>2nd Bn, South Essex (Prince of Wales' Own)
>Sergeant Lynch
>Always yelling
>"FILTH! FIIILLLTTTHHH!"
>Really had it in for the tall Irish guy
>qualified on Brown Bess, India Pattern

I remember my senior drill instructor was named Sgt Gay. Also there was a guy in receiving who pissed himself and as he walked away he slipped in his puddle of piss.

I also remember a guy who cried a lot and jumped off the 3rd floor of the squad bay.

Sup

Im thinking of joining the officer candidate school to join the army.

Will I be yelled at by sub-gorilla IQ drill sergeant?? I don't think I could stand doing everything im told and not thinking for myself.

>>31160289
No, it's against the Geneva convention to shoot since it's made for stopping vehicles not people. That's why you aim for the ground troops canteens around his belt

>this rifle's getting heavy... Hmm it is called a carrying handle...
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT RIFLE?! IT IS NOT A FUCKING LUNCHBOX!!

>>31168331
fuck you

>>31168298
>Geneva convention
I thought that only covered POWs?

>>31160093
>2015
>Jackson

Drills were no longer allowed to swear. Instead they had to use substitutes like "crazy", "special", and "weirdo". They still used the f-bomb like crazy but entirely as a adverb and usually had to freaking apologize to the privates afterwards for swearing, "Excuse me, Privates, I have Tourette's!". I shit you not. No knife hands. Couldn't discipline with more than 10 repetitions of any exercise. Got around it by doing 8 count pushups, pausing 10 seconds between "Thank You." "Battle Buddy." or "Down." "Up. and switching between V-ups and push ups.

I felt cheated when I went through.

>>31168284
Head over to /meg/, sure sounds like you know nothing about the ocs process.

>>31168379
I'm leaving for benning soon please tell me you're lying I want to be crushed

>>31168284
The fact that you would even ask something like to means you would probably not even make it past MEPS. If you make it up The Hill and get a company of fully old-school Ranger cadre you will end up in a shallow grave.

Your one of the faggots that everyone hates in the company and when you get peered out, instead of getting sent back to HHC, you get your throat slit, stuffed in a sleep system, buried in a shallow grave out at Red Diamond field then reported as AWOL. Nobody misses you. Nobody reports anything wrong. No real investigation. And nobody cares.

>>31168470
Sorry friend but nope. Went to Benning afterwards. They held out one year longer but got integrated and now they've pussified too. You might get one of the hold out companies that are trying to hold onto the old standard but most drills are scared to death now of SHARP, EO or a bad NCOER. Welcome to the Nu-Army

Not OP but same computer.

>Benning 2011
>Green Beret DS asks battle buddy why he's so fucking ugly
>idk DS
>BECAUSE YOUR PARENTS DIDNT FUCK HARD ENOUGH!!!
>side straddle hop go

>>31168541
M4 CCO

>>31160093
"Looks like we have a problem child here."

>>31168495

Why are you so angry??

>>31166595
went through basic at sill and don't remember any problems with hot water but 100 F plus days all summer meant that was the last thing on my mind

Brit here. Had a Corporal train me how to use the LMG. Didnt learn much throughout the first session though as I ended up fixating on how he could insert the word 'fucking' in front of EVERY noun, verb and adjective he said.

>>31166139
I had a stroke

>>31168516
http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=2555758
To be fair, it seems like some of the stuff they're doing is working. I do think that no swearing is a little to much though.

>>31168806
>The "kinder gentler" thing -- adopted more than a year ago -- may be working. The Army says it has reduced by nearly 7 percent the number of washouts in the first six to 12 months of a recruit's life.

What they have done is pretty much shove anyone down the pipeline. I have a guy in my squad that has, no fucking shit, NEVER passed a PT test yet. Not one in basic, not in AIT and not when he got here. How the hell is this possible? Drills, then instructors then HHC just didn't want to do the paperwork, chunked the pt cards and passed him down the pipeline. Then when 1SG tries to kick him out after failing two, the turd complains to IG which says paperwork wasn't done properly so now have to wait ANOTHER 6 months to get him.

This is becoming the standard not the exception. And when these mouth breathing abortions that cant handle being yelled at get downrange they are going to get a lot of real soldiers killed.

>>31162913
or a round
>>31168379
sounds like sill now
>>31168775
i was at sill a month ago, 1/79. qualified with an A2 with irons that probably killed fiddy men in Vietnam. my DSs were fucking hilarious, but when they gave us the business, they gave us the business.
shoutout to DS burgess, scarborough, york, and saliyer

>IT'S A FUCKING BULKHEAD NOT A WALL GOD DAMMIT YOU MEDIOCRE SACK OF SHIT
And then i realized that no one really calls it a bulkhead after I left.

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>>31167677

>>31168775
My basic was during fall and winter, so it was slightly uncorfortable for us.

>>31168516
>Welcome to the Nu-Army

Yes of course we have to abuse our trainees otherwise they won't know what to do just like all these other organisations in the world that do.

I qualified as marksman on the FAMAS and got sniper level scores with the psg1. I didn't do as well on the m4, because the weight distribution was throwing me off. Still qualified top 5% in the service though.

>>31169251

nicely done. did you get a medal??

>>31169264
Yeah I have several of them for various accomplishments and achievements.

>>31168898
Don't worry about it, Europe will bail you out like always.

>>31169291
Gee, I didn't realize today was opposite day

>>31166312
I can't exactly argue with that attitude, but it kinda leaves pastors and priests up shit crick.

Or do they get a pass because showcasing is part of their job?

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>>31163015

"shipmate" is not a term you want to call your fellow sailors

>>31160155

Kek

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>>31160325

I AM PETTY OFFICER FIRST CLASS FUCK YOU, HOSPITAL CORPSMEN TYPE. I AM THE SUN, THE MOON, AND THE STARS FOR THE NEXT 9 WEEKS. YOU RECRUITS ARE MY RESPONSIBILITY, BE ADVISED, I WILL NOT FAIL YOU, WILL YOU FAIL ME?

GET ON YOUR FACES AND PUSH UNTIL YOU CANT PUSH ANYMORE

Serious question, are you allowed to have sex with female soldiers??

>>31162005
I forgot too until you said something. Chuckfuck was heard a bit also.

>>31169501
In Basic? Lolno. They keep the male platoons separated from the lady platoons, and you aren't sneakin' out at night.

The best somebody might be able to cop is the occasional quickie towards the end of training in an FTX tent. Which while it happens, I feel like most guys that claim to have done it never actually did.

>>31160093
I remember them beating me with a wooden club until the skin on my back burst and I was throwing up uncontrollably. Then they threw me in the back of a truck while laughing. I'm still not sure why. I escaped through the border when I made corporal and got to man a post by myself.

>>31164901
How fast did they run it?

>>31160093
>Waiting to rack up for the night
>DS were cool occasionally
>Manage to not fuck up all day
>"You guys did damn well today, I'm going to do something for you."
>Plays music, at ease.
>A minute in someone slowly starts to dance
>DS walks out, recruit stops, DS says to dance if he wants in a pretty calm tone
>Other people follow in
>Know somethings up, they're too nice.
>Half the unit dancing in place
>Other DS comes in and talks with the first
>"This is for all you lovers out there. Find your partner and get to the middle of the dance floor."
>oshit. Everyone who was dancing stops
>"All you Fuckers who were dancing find a fucking partner and get to the middle. You'll stop when the music stops"
>everyone can rack up but the dancers
>makes them dance for three hours straight
>trying not to laugh in my rack at the DS for giving them shit and threatening to smoke them instead if they didn't get back to dancing with each other.

>>31169691

what about in the field??

>>31160093
>You scream for ice cream privates!?
>How bout' I scream the 8 count Pushup?
>IN CADENCE!!!

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>Who wants to watch TV?
>Everyone raises their hands
>Get put in the front leaning rest position
>Except we don't use our hands
>We use our elbows for support

Fucking painful on cement.

>Let's see what's on HBO
>What about the evening news?
>Let's keep changing the channel

I had a slight aversion to television following that episode.

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>>31165432
In hindsight, making the army to be your lifegoal was a bad decision since you come out of there completely unmotivated and with no plan to do anything.

Only feeling I had was
>"cool, now I don't have to wake up at 6 every morning!"
and now I am stuck at a job that requires me to get up at 4 instead

>>31170333
You sound like those shit birds who got an article 15 or failed to adjust properly.

I spent 10 years in the service. I fucking loved it. 11B and 68W

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>>31160155

>be at each weapon range
>ask muzzle velocity of weapon
>training cadre never knows

>be at landmine course
>be told that some mines are acoustically detonated
>later be told to yell "MINE! MINE! MINE!" each time we find a landmine
>wait a minute sgt
>didn't you say some landmines are acoustically detonated?
>if we yell, won't that set it off?
>get look of pure hate
>sgt says everyone BUT me will yell "MINE MINE MINE"

>>31166595
It was only like 12 times out of 9 weeks, we had hot water.

>>31170350
>You sound like those shit birds who got an article 15

Euro
11 months
Quit due to chronic medical reasons

>or failed to adjust properly
I was only friends with the guys from basic and some officers from the administrative office and the healthcare unit, rest of the base was full of grumpy old men who were unhappy that they couldn't make conscripts eat dirt anymore and the "transition" era veterans who all they did was dick waving about how we have it easy. I failed to adjust because fuck that environment, I respect your years of experience and rank but I ain't gonna start licking your boots nor follow your behavior of hating everything and everyone and eating lunch everyday in quiet.

>>31170675
Weird. In my day in BCT they gave us little factsheets about our rifles which included things like muzzle velocity and we had to memorize that shit. We'd get randomly pop quizzed in passing on so piece of trivia from those sheets by the DS.

>be told that some mines are acoustically detonated

While it's possible to make such a mine, I can't think of any purpose made military mines in large scale service that are detonated by sound.

The reason you are supposed to yell out "mine" is because when you do, everybody is supposed to freeze. If you see one landmine, there is a likelyhood of more. The last thing you want to do is stomp around a minefield.

So, I'll call that one a mix of the DS being ignorant or incapable of properly explaining the reasoning to you, and you being a smartass.

>>31171082
>stomp around a minefield.
We called that Polish mine detectors.

>>31160233
it is actually true that you cant use the the .50 on personnel, only equipment. The LCE is equipment. A canteen is equipment. You were aiming for equipment.

>>31171232
One fellow driving an empty bus took it upon himself to charge our road block.

The Ma Deuce opened up. A round struck him in the head. Nothing left but a lower jaw bone.

Ft. Benning, 2011
Land Nav
"Privates, make my fucking time hack. I promised I'd be home to see Kung Fu Panda 2. If I don't get to see Kung Fu Panda 2.... Imma get that ass. IM NOT JOKING. I WILL DESTROY YOU."
That has stuck with me for so long.

>>31165828
>you got to sit in the cattle cars?
no there was no room to sit just standing room only...looking back I'm sure it was done for the "total experience" of it.
the photo was just an generic one found on the interwebs about the same time line.

>>31171319
No shit. When I was in Infantry OSUT, we packed those things to the maximum. Sardines enjoyed more room than we did.

good job, you fuckin' maggots.
carry on.
OP

>>31171232
This is a flat out falsehood perpetuated be mouth breathers.

.50 weapons, particularly rifles are classified as anti-material / anti-materiel based on what they are intended to defeat. However, just because a rifle is intended to be used against equipment is in no way a legal constraint that it must only be used against equipment.

Or to put it another way: A rocket with a HEAT warhead is designed to be fired at armored vehicles. That is the driving purpose in it's design and what it most efficiently does. But just because it's an AT weapon does no mean you can't fire it against enemy infantry.

The only constraints with using .50 weapons against enemy forces come from internal SOPs, which can change at essentially the whim of the people in charge of the SOP and can often be broken by lower level commanders under the authority of their best judgment.

I was in a unit that actually kept, trained with, and deployed with M82 and M107 rifles.

>>31168379
i dont want to live anymore

Got caught eating a baked potato in formation, spent the rest of the day doing laps. It's how I got my handle.

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>>31171267
>Ma Deuce

I had a drill grab me by the collar and drag me across the ground before squatting over my chest and threatening to bury me alive because i was leaning back and resting on my hands. SSgt.Bevard, you pillock

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>>31160155

>>31160093
I giggled at something the DI shouted and he asked me if I thought he was funny. I was retarded and had huge fucking nads at the time so I told him yes and he said that if I stopped laughing he'd run me forever.

Laughed for 24hr straight. Fuckin sucked

>>31171610
It's what we called it, you civilian cock.

>>31171861
using ma deuce marks you out as old or a paper pusher

which is it

>>31160410

they were still using the a2's when I joined in 08. chill out.

>>31171898
I'm only 45. 60 year old chicks eyeball me at the mall fountain all the time.

But seriously - they stopped using that term?

>>31172088
Nice dubs.

Yeah, it's very old school now. I'm out now, since 2014, but even when I first began you would only here the old ass platoon sergeant say ma deuce. Most people say "50" or "M2", with "50" being the most common.

S1 fucks still say it when they pretend to be soldiers.

>>31172088

>only 45

Up there with

>only obese
>only serving a life sentence
>only $125,000 in debt

>>31172113
*hear

also, this would be more relevant: I joined in 2008.

>>31161805
This is what our military has come to.
Cum dumpsters and aimpoints.

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>>31172118
We all get old, Stosh. It'll happen faster than you realize. It seems like yesterday I was running the five miler in Benning phase of Ranger school.

Now I'm going to the VA with fucked up knees because I jumped for a decade.

>>31169350
it was b8 m8

>>31170930
that's still coddling as fuck, m8

>>31170350
How is 68W?
What's it like

>>31160155
Lmao senpai

>>31169198
Keyser Soze?

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>>31169198

>>31172337
>Now I'm going to the VA with fucked up knees

good luck with that...about a complete waste of your time...once drove in a snowstorm in nashville because my knees were as painful as i could stand.
after maybe a 9 hour wait was able to see a doctor that prescribed ibuprofen, and suggested i come back if it got any worse. had to pay for the prescription which the VA reimbursed later (goddamn, i love the government). i think that was maybe feb 92 and haven't been back.
on the plus side was able to strengthen my quads and have been pain free(mostly) since.

>>31174153
If you're stateside, it is boring. If you're deployed it is either boring or balls out. Getting assigned to an infantry unit is like winning the lottery. Medics in an infantry unit are lucky mother fuckers. CMBs are so rare.

All in all, you're doing a baby sitting job. I can't count the number of times I sat on rifle ranges.

But I must say, the US Army medical corps is well trained and eager to do their jobs. They chomp at the bit to stick their hands in blood and guts.

>>31174976
Nashville is a thousand times better now. I promise.

>>31175041
win, win then
danks 4 the concern though

>>31172337
Stay falcon

>>31160093
'16 Fort Benning
Drill Sergeant Becker, "that's not a thing guy"
Drill Sergeant Moore "Fuck sticks"

I'm in contact with like 2 recruiters but haven't asked them because I'm a retard

Can I join with asthma? United States.
My friend is a cadet at West Point. Can I join later with a degree in math from a good university?

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>>31160093
Phase 1 Infantry training centre catterick '03

SA80 L85A2 and L86A2 LSW

>"I was in baghdad when you was in yer da's ballbag you DIRTY CRETIN!"

>"With the speed of an escaping paedo... GED AWAAAAAAAAAY!"

>"Now repeat after me... DRILL IS BRILL"
>repeated across the troop
>"MAKES MY KNOB THROB"
>repeated again

>"Did you shave this morning, troop'?"
>yes sarge
>"Did you use a mirror?"
>yes sarge
>"USE A FOOKIN' RAZOR NEXT TIME"

>"Did you dust this beret, son?"
>yes sarge
>"WELL YOU BLEEDIN' COULDN'T HAVE, THERE'S A DINOSAUR ON IT!"

>"Pair up in threes"

>"Everyone who's mother is healthy step forward"
>troop steps forward
>"TROOPER ATKINSON, WHY ARE YOU MOVING?????"

>Welsh Guards colour sergeant yelling at the troop for ballsing up
>"When I have to shout at you cunts, I go home and knock feck out me wife! An she don't like it!"

"Your left foot will be known as B"
>"Your right foot will be known as R"
>"By the centre. Quick, March! BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR"

>>31171610
>Ma Deuce
still acceptable m8

>>31160093
i got in around 09 and the whole sjw bullshit just started so there was alot of:

"You stupid faggot. Sorry, i mean ur not a faggot, youre just stupid"

>>31176166
I had a platoon Sergeant say, "When you were on the school bus waiting for the red light to turn green so you could make it off to class, I was on a C-130 waiting for the green light to jump!"

I replied, "Roger Sergeant. But when you're old and decrepit, I'll still be fucking."

I swear to god, I never saw him at a loss for words until that day.

That wasn't basic but it was great all the same. SFC Norris. His nickname was popcorn.

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>>31170020

>>31176337
>"You stupid faggot. Sorry, i mean ur not a faggot, youre just stupid"
kek

>>31168495
Wew lad, chill that edge

>be inna Benning
>just finished shark attack and DS is walking through the ranks eyeballing everyone. shit was tense yo
>"Holy fucking shit private is your name pronounced Fucks?!"
>pvt's name was spelled 'Fuchs'
>"No DS it's pronounced Fooks."
>"Bull fucking shit private! This is America your name is pronounced FUCKS!"
>as DS begins to walk away he just yells for some odd reason "Smells like fucking farts over here!"
Took everything in me to not die laughing and get fucked up because of it.

I had a Hispanic Drill instructor that called us "Crazies" If we were fucking up. Doing push ups/front leaning rest was called "Beating your face".I qualified like 35/40 Though my vision was bad and I refused to wear the glasses they gave me.

>>31169372
HNNNNG that bitch in front.

>>31176788
It's cool you don't wear corrective lenses. I'm sure the people who die because you failed to eliminate your opposition will say, "yeah, I'm maimed or dead but at least he looks good for the chicks."

>>31160266
>uniforms, helmets, belts
hehe

>>31169241
Pussy

>>31162429
Sounds like DS Crespo

>>31175793
What company?
D-1/50 here. 2016

>>31162650
>proprietary tools
Why are you so hung up on this? Almost every service rifle uses a small tool to adjust the sights.
>CETME, AR, AK, G3, and FAL off of the top of my head.
It's not like you use it anywhere but the range when zeroing. You use your rear elevation knob to dial for range while shooting.

Your range cadre must have been shit.

>>31179317
I don't think you know what "proprietary" means.

>>31168898
I had a guy in my unit who never once passed a PFT in 6 years and pissed hot twice. His OTH was just updated to Honorable.

>>31179321
I do, and fail to see why it matters. You can use the tip of a bullet, ball point pen, nail, or specifically in your case, the tip of your own penis.

>>31179360
I fucking lol'd

>>31160093
>recruit falls on his face running into barracks during accountability.
>DS: "You only get a certain amount of cool points in your lives privates. And when you lose them, it's really hard to get them back"

>DS to Private as he climbs a tower: "Private C!"
>Private C: "Y-yes drill sergeant?"
>DS: "YOU'RE UGLY AS FUCK!"
>Private C: "Thank you drill sergeant."

Qualified with the A2/irons and M4/CCO. Yeah, I went to Basic twice, Ft. Jackson in '14 and Ft. Sill in '16.

>>31179857
>Yeah, I went to Basic twice
twice the memories.
twice the number of stories for the grand kids. good job.

>>31160093
I actually never got yelled at once in basic.
Grey manned the fuck outta that bitch.

>>31179857
>Yeah, I went to Basic twice,
whats it like being literally a failure at one of the easiest things on god's red earth

i'd thank you for your cervix bud but that pussy look beat up

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>>31179360
>You can use the tip of a bullet, ball point pen, nail, or specifically in your case, the tip of your own penis.
You literally don't understand what the word "proprietary" means. It means you can't use those things. You need a special tool made for just that one job. It's like a "security screw" but on a piece of lifesaving equipment.

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>>31179882
Must be nice to skate through pogue land.

>>31168298
>>31168366
youre both wrong and it's astounding that they let americans graduate from high school, let alone a military course, not knowing how the law works

>>31163401
>We really took it as an affront when lazy NTC fucks hot glue a radio to a piece of putty,
While it's not for EOD specifically, we do bomb search training at my NRD sometimes and the "bombs" are always the dumbest shit

it's always a dollar store clock with a bunch of wires taped to it but at least at the end of the exercise they basically say "we had fun making those but if you ever encounter a bomb it'll probably be a lightbulb full of gasoline. if we leave port and only get a bomb threat call after and it's not a prank, you are already dead"

>>31179936
In America, we don't care who the enemy is. Just give us a rifle and point us in the right direction.

>>31160093
>Be in coed BCT
>DS screaming 24/7 for males not to fuck the females
>Says "That's your sister, not your mother. Don't fuck your sister like you fuck your mother."

Still confused to this day as to what kind of childhood he had.

>>31176135
idk about the US but here in canada the rule of thumb is you cant join if you need lifesaving equipment (since you might not be able to replace it mid-deployment)

however, it's easy to lie on tests, the doctors dont really check that hard, there's not some big medical database for them to check (and even knowing your doctor, doctors keep shit patient files and even within the military information-sharing is limited by laziness), and even if you do need that kind of medication, there's an acceptable gulf between "I need an inhaler if I hang out in obscenely dusty places for hours at a time" and "I need an inhaler after breathing air that isn't filtered and out of a tank through a mask"

>>31179931
Mmmm, but MI sure is comfy.
I only have to rake rocks ONCE a day!

>>31179959
unless the rifle is a .50, then you can't use it on personnel because reasons

>>31163607
Top funny

>>31179915
What's it like being a salty neverserved because you were too autistic to make it through MEPS?

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>>31180195
post your fucking cornflake

>>31179987
Myth as fuck

>>31160412
Kek @ korean lady. I pictured the, "he lookie like a man" lady from mad tv.

>>31160093
"You fucking illiterates"
"Just fucking begin and don't even dream of stopping"

A1

>>31179931
>pogue
oh god, that shit will trigger one of the autistic newfags.

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>>31181746
disapprovingly shows knife hand.
it's pogue goddammit.

good night you bitches

>>31179239
B 1-50
Play the game

>>31164966
More likely AIT as they are on their phones, or permanent party

>>31165434
I learned to sleep in those, standing up.
FT McMuffin, *4
C2
SSG Wood, Nam infantry, almost graduated saw him without his brown round, made joke about his soft cap. Could barely hear him as he smoked me will smiling, great times
did 27 years, retired MSG.

>>31183746
I served back in the 80s when all of the PSGs and 1SGs were Vietnam veterans. We viewed them as complete - like there was no higher tier for them to achieve. They were gods. Rangers, Paratroopers, Infantry. All combat experienced.

I never felt like I measured up to them even after two combat deployments and a combat jump.

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>>31160093
Front.
Back.
GO.

>warrior

with the biggest sneer you could imagine.

of course there was every swear word combination under the sun

>>31179925
What's it like being retarded? The special tool (which your range cadre should have in abundance since it's the only place you ever actually need/use the thing) is used for zeroing and only for zeroing sights that you probably aren't even using. If you don't have that tool, then you can improvise said tool using the aforementioned objects and it will work just as well.

Honestly, how much of a failure are you?

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Do all military veterans get to go to Valhalla?

>>31184825
>Do all military veterans get to go to Valhalla?
Valhalla is a fucking meme. Kys

>>31184825
No. Only people who practice that religion and die in combat go to Valhalla.

That's like asking if every good samaritan gets to go to Heaven.

>>31160494
Makes sense when you're on a boat. It would suck ass if your laces untied or caught on something when the ship's getting rocked or fucked up. I'd imagine it would be nice to have velcro shoes if you have to put them on quickly, such as on a ship.

>>31185099
>No. Only people who practice that religion and die in combat go to Valhalla.


>Actually even believing this

>>31185251
You're right. I should say
>Only people who practice that religion believe in Valhalla and that they will go there when/if they die bravely in combat.

German drill instructor
>do you want to make the long run
>most recruts say no
>okey then we make the super long run

>>31184833
>Kys
Just because you got dubs doesn't mean I'll excuse you for being underage. Gitout.

>>31176166
You forgot one

>You're in your own time now

>>31163017
Fuck im so glad im murican
I wouldnt last a day in british basic training with bantz like that

>>31164901
What was their 2 mile time?

>>31185328
>german humor

>>31176166

>"Did you shave this morning, troop'?"
>yes sarge
>"Did you use a mirror?"
>yes sarge
>"USE A FOOKIN' RAZOR NEXT TIME"

Literally impossible to keep a straight face

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>>31176166
>>"Pair up in threes"
been laughing at this the past five minutes

Infantry aren't the sharpest tool in the shed.

>>31185991
And then you realise that six men CAN pair up in threes

>>31164915
>Arrested for having sex with a 16 year old
Fucking third-world regressive states, man

>>31185800
training with gasmasks and ABC gear was called Adolf Eichmann memorial walk

>>31183392
Fix bayonets

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>>31171526
is that a reference to something

>>31174976
>Prescription Ibuprofen
Wat?

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I had the horror of attending training.

Once as Enlisted other ranks.
Once as instructor training officers and other ranks.
Once again as officer to gain commission.

FML.

Had the staff sergeant who was a proper laugh.
Used to get carrots and used to lob them at trainees full pelt.
Sometimes he'd cut them up throw them at your face to make sure you wouldn't flinch.
He'd give you one as a treat for good work or for good ideas.
He'd humiliate people by having them give a carrot a blowjob.
he'd make them jump by Sticking it up someones arse for a laugh.
Whilst he shoved them in a trainees mouth the trainee bit it off.
So he ended up putting them in condoms.

> On route march one day, have to have an 80lb bergen.
> Being a good leader he lead by example, weighed his bergen as 90lbs.
> Got back from route march,
> Start to turn out kit from bergen
> 90 Lbs of carrots in condoms.

>>31176166
> Hurry up and wait!

> Entire battalion doing drill with timings.
> Battalion! .... about.... Turn
> Check, left right left...
> Sha-winggggggggg!
> Lots of complaints around town about a whole battalions saying

> Are you familiar with 1:50000 scale maps?
> Yes staff sergeant?
> WELL I FUCKING SUGGEST YOU TAKE ABOUT 2KM OFF THEM FUCKING SIDEBURNS!

> If you can't hit a target at 500m with irons sights guess what you are?
> YOU'RE ABOUT AS USEFULL TO ME AS A NAVY IS TO MONGOLIA!

On the topic of the welsh guards.
> Undertaking pre deployment training alongside welsh guards
> Our RSM is debriefing them
> YOU FUCKING LOT FAIL TO MOUNT YOUR WIFELY SHEEP
> HOW YOU'RE GOING TO MOUNT A COMBAT OPERATION IS BEYOND YOUR SIMPLE FUCKING MINDS

>>31190201
Holy shit, how did you not piss yourself?