ITT, autism

Goodnight sweat pants

Damn it, I had something for this!

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>>31155916
>what do you say before pulling the trigger

Virginity Rocks!

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>>31155916
>filename
kek

I heard the voice of the fourth beast say, "Come and See" and I saw, and behold, a pale horse and the name that sat upon him, was Death; and hell followed with him.

>>31155916
itt: premeditation
>you've always wanted to kill
wtf kind of shit goes through your head? I don't want to kill anyone who doesn't immediately endanger those around me or myself. sooo I guess "sorry pal you fucked up"

>>31155977
>Aw man, I shot Marvin in the face!

I've come back

FOR PAYBACK

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> actually speaking to them

Not whistling singing in the rain the whole time while killing people.

>>31155916
How bout you glue this back together

"Is this loaded?"

Goodbye. I hope it was worth it.

ENGLISH MOTHER FUCKER DO YOU SPEAK IT

I would use a shotgun and say "feel the sweet embrace of the devil's hoof to the face"

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>>31155916
>You're a right cunt and, on behalf of everyone who's had to take your shit, you earned this, buddy.

>>31156024
Booondock. Saints.

Y-y-you too

"Sorry."

Clips

>>31155935
>last thought: "...what?"
fpbp /thread

>>31156967
God you guys must watch that movie religiously.

>>31155916
"Make America Great Again."

Don't make me shoot you again!

Then when he try's to figure out why i said that, i shoot him in the ass.

Then i complain to him that he's making me do this. Get nice and worked up about it. Kick them abit and fire off a few more rounds.

If only i could clone myself, thats who and how i'd kill them.

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Hey Paul!

>>31155916
>THAT'S MY PURSE, I DON'T KNOW YOU!

>>31157104
Bro, do you need a hug?

"This gonna hurt"

(Insert dick in wound) "This gonna hurt more."

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Aiiy Caramba.

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"ding dong the pope is dead "

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"Would you like some lightly-fried fish fillets?"

monkey nuts

ITS JUST A PRANK BRO

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I snatch every mother fucker birthday

>>31156450

Underrated

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Pic related.

Aay shpjld have nought that sheth, or shouldnt have made fun of someo e 4chan forum, finally asta lavisa lumploaf

>>31156070
In this case, my final words to the guy would probably be:
> sup brah
>ay man ay
>AMERICA!
>to the end of the rainbow
>AHHHH OH FUCK I'M SO FUCKING SORRY (crying heavily)
>don't motherfuckers always trying to ice skate uphill

>>31157641
*SOME
some motherfuckers etc...

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>>31155916
>you can't just jam whenever you want
http://youtu.be/N9wsjroVlu8

>>31156115
Good

>>31155916
when you get to the Fuddruckers in hell tell the waiter i said... "hello!"

>>31155916
Nothing because I'd be speaking to a fucking ghost

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Whisper softly into his ear: "Half Life 3 was just released, along with interstellar 2, and Deadpool 2. And Keemstar just got assassinated by being beat to death with dragon dildos." That way he thinks he's leaving behind a bunch of good shit

>>31157706
jesus that pic gets more and more shit attached every time I see it

>>31157706
>interstellar 2
fuck you the first one was good enough already don't turn it into another die hard

End of the rainbow, motherfucker.

>Who are you
No use in introducing myself to the dead

>>31157641
>>31157716
>>31157156
King of the hill... Hillarity

>>31157600
Lul

You have a choice, you're taking my bullet and my dick. I'll let you choose the order.

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I don't exist. I'm not even here. I don't
exist. None of this matters.

>>31155916
I went to a store looking for something to buy but they only sold paintings of the same sad guy. No wait, this store sells mirrors

Each totem on the pole is a symbolic representation of one family.

>>31155916
Y-you too...

>>31157022
>anon becomes a hit man

>>31155916
The thing is kid, the game was rigged from the start.

>>31155916
It's too bad you could never see all the problems I'm about to solve.

CHEEKI BREEKI IV DAMKE

I DON'T KNOW YOU

THAT'S MY PURSE

>You have to eat all of the eggs.
>"What?"
>*BANG*

>>31155916
Here we are. Same shit as always, but in reverse. You, helpless at the feet of someone much bigger than you. Bet it feels different to be on the other end, eh, ya cunt? How do things get like this? Well, you kick a puppy its whole life. But someday, it's a big, grown-up dog. And it's gonna bite back. Maybe if I let you go, you'd learn something, but I don't trust the idea of people learning from their mistakes anymore. People are crazy. Insane. Do the same shit over and over, expecting shit to be different. So if it ain't me, it'll be one of the other kids. Better to end it now. When you get to Hell, where you belong, don't wait up. I ain't following for a long while.

>>31155916
You gotta whisper softly in their ear, just kinda sit there a minute breathing in their ear and then when they start to get creeped out "Benis :DDD"

>>31155916

I fucking hate you, dianne feinstein.

>>31156967
Isn't this from that Johnny Cash song? "When the Dude Comes to Town?"

>>31156958
THIS LAND IS MADE OF... LOVE AND PEACE! LOVE AND PEACE!

fgsfds

https://youtu.be/ZCRaS77zDAM?t=2m26s

"This is me at my most masochistic..."

That, or: "You're about to die, but that's not the worst thing I've done to you. I've erased you. You never existed, never caused any pain, never beat anybody at anything. Go to hell knowing that..."

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"Nice try FBI"

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Ave nex alea

You're pretty good

Heh nothing personel kid

>>31159618
The Man Comes Around.

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Ayy lmao

>>31157630
Underrated

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>>31157077

Shuffle off your mortal coil, ya cunt

>>31155916
"Don't worry, I'm not that sadistic. You won't feel a thing."

And then I shoot him in the dick, because I am that sadistic.

>>31155916
Why waste words on a dead man?

>>31159618
When the man comes around. Also the bible.

>>31155916
"I'm going to fuck your corpse"

>>31155916 "I'm not gonna kill you. I just wanna ask some questions. I'm gonna stand behind you so you won't get any ideas about trying to get away. So, tell me how you came to be right here right now, then tell me what you're gonna do when you leave. Take your time, get comfortable". Then, at some point I would shoot him in line with his ear.

>>31161524
The what?

>>31155916
I always really liked the "AND YOU WILL KNOW MY NAME IS 'THE LORD' WHEN I LAY MY VENGEANCE UPON THEE"

to the point that when I dome people in roleplaying games, I make up something similar to it but not quite right every time

"Who paid you to grab Dr. Pavel?"

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>>31155916
My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die...

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>>31155954

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>>31155916
"You'll Cowards."

"This skirt is too short, my genitals are exposed"

>>31155916
Baba Booey!

>>31155916
Smoke'em Peace Pipe

DEUS VULT

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What's your opinion on Shitty Greg aka Trent Baretta?

>>31156193
What a bunch of faggots.

>>31155916

Did you ever read the art of war? There's one line in particular that's always kind of stood out to me "when you surround your enemies, leave an opening; do not push too hard on the enemies who are desperate."

It's like an old saying of mine "those who have no reason to live have everything to die for"

You took all I cared about in this world from me, and kept on kicking while I lay bleeding. And as I lay there, left for dead, I had an epiphany. "There's no consequence in my death now. If I was too bleed out here and now, there would be no-one left who needed me. Nothing would change."

You know what that means right? "No reason to live, Everything to die for."

You pushed too hard, and left no opening. And now, you'll pay the price for that.

>Autistic Dramatic racking of slide

I only hope you have someone left to miss you.

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>>31155916
>/k/ sends their regards, bitch

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>>31161982

>>31161982
This could totally be in a movie.

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>>31161998

Guilty as charged

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It's just good business.

>>31160965
So I said, get that bitch a cannon, bitches love cannons

Think about it thjs way, you're already balding, and you're what 35? You just got married, she probably knows about the smooth patch. Hell, I noticed, she must have. You'll be lucky if you two make it past a year, marriages are like businesses tgese days, she'll take your baby boy and half of everything you've cherished in your life and leave you with the shit you don't cause women are sadistic bitches like that. Your performance is gonna slip, I mean it already is, you've got me here, you already fucked up big at doing your job right, but you'll have fucked something else up and they'd be down your neck telling you to pack your suitcase and get out. And you know what? You'll be here, in your office, with a gun to your temple wondering where it all went so wrong. So, just take it as me saving you time, expediting the process. Now before you go, I'll say this: I fucked your wife, you stupid blinkey fuck.

>>31155916
I'd tell him to
check em

>>31155916
"It's just been revoked....."

Sucks for you to die for 50$.

i planted gay porn and dildos in your bedroom.

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>>31155916
Saluto Nex Alea.

HAVE YOU SEEN AN ALIEN PLEASE?!?

>>31156958
>14 rounds expended
The fuck this nigga got? A Five Seven looking thing?

>>31157714
but if die hard 2 never was made then die hard with a vengeance never would be with us and i'm not sure i could live in such a world.

>>31163237
My ruger 9mm holds 17, and the guy is kinna small

You'll do fookin nuthin, yeah?

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>>31161982

>>31155916
"Death is too good for you, father."

Then I'd make a show of dismantling the gun and beating him unconscious with my fists. When he wakes up, I'd take his feet. Then maybe kill him. All to the tune of some Dvorak. God I hate that guy.

>*says nothing*
>*yanks plug*

>>31156070
Some things a stranger can get away with are a death penalty within a family

One of two things
"I wonder how an eyesocket feels if I put my dick in it"
Or
"Deus Vult!"

I'll just play this with my harmonica

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hL-X53ze5O0

>>31156193
Viddy well, brother

"Are we in Reno?"

>"Pfft...not even a challenge..."
>pulls trigger
>BANG

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>>31155916
psssh...nothin personnel...kid...

Jet beams can't melt steel fuel.

>6B---- 5D- 6B--- 5D- 5B- 5D- 5B-----
>BANG in the leg
>4B---- 4D- 5B- 4D----
>BANG in an arm
>5B- 5D- 6B-- 5D- 6B-- 5D- 5B- 5D- 5B- 4B---
>BANG in the stomach
>4B--- 4D- 5B- 4D- 4B------
>one last BANG in the head

>>31155916
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-L1DzScQ4VU

>>31156967

"And shepards we shall be, for thee my lord for thee..."

>>31155916

don't worry, Monica will take good care of him.

>>31161844

"TELL ME.ABOUT BANE! WHY DOES HE WEAR THE MASK?!?"

>>31155916
>"I gonna let you live"
>walk away
>no td
>turn around
>A"oh hey I-"
>trip and fall on gun causing it to go off and fire a round directly between his eyes