Useful Knife stories

>be in Canada
>walking to work
>old lady trying to replace busted inner tube on her bike
>has somehow gotten it tangled up
>asks if I have scissors or something similar
>take out knife (Spyderco Delica)
>cut innertube
>she says thank-you
>ask if she needs help with putting new innertube on
>she says no
>continue on to work

Pretty much any knife of similar size would work.

>>31075403
What motivation do you need? The only things separating you from a caveman are a good knife and a lighter. Don't be a caveman when SHTF.

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>take on job helping someone remove a big hot tub
>guy just brought a shitty old sawzall with wood cutting blades
>cut the tub in half with sawzall
>get half way through halfing one of the halfs and then the sawzall quits working
>have to use swiss army knife saw and blade to finish cutting the rubber pipes and foam
A quality swiss army knife can go a long way

>>31075403
I'll go, most eventful to least.

>be me
>be 13 something
>be innawoods
>fox rushes me
>assume it is rabid
>kick it
>draw kabar
>kick agian
>stab in neck as it is stunned
>was a God among rednecks at school

>be me
>be at work
>notice the plastic tip on my shoelace came off
notmycomfyshoes.jpg
>take out knife
>heat with lighter
>cut above the fray and repair shoelace

>be me
>be innawoods
>see the most perfect walking stick ever
>pic it up
>slight bump where hand is most comfy
>bark is kind of nasty
>cut off bark and bump
>make best walking stick of all time

>be me
>Be at work
>see someone struggling to get a box open with the screwdriver they had
>give them knife
>world is better

>be at work
>open box with knife
>repeat a million times over

>be innawoods
>struggle to get crackers open
>use knife instead
>all is as it should be

>be me
>be locked out of the house
>always have a window unlocked for emergencies
>use blade to pry off the screen and open the window

>be on vacation
>knob for my lights falls off in my truck
>stuck on
>by the greatest luck of all time there is a harbor freight
>go in
>buy shitty little multitool
>it be in a clamshell package
clamshellbegone.mp4
>open package

>have blister that got infected
>make very small incision to drain pus and allow for disinfectant

>be stuck in a public bathroom
>taking the shit of a lifetime
>carve thanks for the shitter on the tp dispenser
>hardly the worse thing on there

Knife is the best utility in the world.

>>31075403
Sometimes I have to open packages.

BAM, useful as fuck.

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>>31075403
Grandpa always had a pocket knife.
He had an old cigar box full of them.
He was always upgrading (or downgrading if he found a rusty old timer at a garage sale for a nickle)his edc.
When I turned 6 I was allowed to pick one out of the box and it became my edc.
I've been carrying one for the past 28 years and feel naked without one.

>be onna movie set working
>assistant brings back new cans of paint for set walls
>no screwdriver in my pocket
>pull out cold steel spike from boot
>open paint cans

>be innawoods filming
>branch is in the way of camera jib
>left multitool in truck, 1/4 mi away
>cold steel spike comes out and start batoning said branch
>done in less time it takes the actor to smoke a cigarette

>at a bus stop
>notice nails are too long
>pull out crkt heiho and cut nails

>watching tv
>notice flyaway thread on jeans
>pat pockets, no lighter, but have crkt heiho
>cut thread
>keep watching tv

>get new legit Boker leverletto
>rosewood or walnut scales aren't flush with the bolsters for some reason
>whittle them down and scrape flush with crkt k.i.s.s
>little bit of sanding, re-wax, looks damn pretty
>lose Boker a week later
>be very sad

be prepared for "hey can I use ur knife bro" like every 10 minutes

>>31076238
How do you like that knife?

I don't have any knife stories more eventful than opening packages/envelopes, but my dad told me a story of how his pocket knife saved his ass a few months ago.

>Be my dad
>Pissing at urinal
>Fart
>Gas pushes liquid out onto boxers
>No one else in the bathroom
>Go into stall, lock door
>Pull pants down, wipe ass off, sit on toilet
>Whip out trusty pocket knife
>Proceed to cut shart-infused boxers off legs
>Throw shart-infused boxer rag in the trash
>Go commando the rest of the day

>>31078551
I hate people like this. It's not that hard to find good knives for a reasonable price.

>>31075403
A knife is a very useful tool, the uses are literally endless.

>>31080746
this is such a nice story, thank you for sharing.

>>31075403
>constantly using it to open all kinds of packages
>can be used to skin animals/gut fish
>definitely makes me feel safer at night
>cuts up boxes
>use it as a prybar for things that get stuck together sometimes
It's pretty good.

>>31075403
What >>31080780 said. No one should be without a trusty knife.

>Be me
>Working on homework
>Don't feel like getting up and walking across the room to sharpen pencil
>Pull Leatherman Micra off of keychain
>Open knife blade
>Sharpen pencil
>Didn't have to get up

>>31080773
But most people know jack shit about knives and will buy some $10 chink shit knife from walmart
Older guys atleast have the sense to use buck
Personally im partisl to benchmade.

>>31081075
Yeah, that's a problem. I have a Mini-Grip myself, and I love it. But you can get decently priced and quality knives on sites like BladeHQ and KnifeCenter.

>>31075403

Uhhh, do you not receive packages or buy things that come in cardboard boxes?

Do you never buy things that come in clamshell packaging?

Are there no cereal boxes or milk cartons in your house?

Have you never needed to pop a zip tie?

Do you not ever do food prep?

Basically knives are useful for when you need to cut things, and are especially useful if the blades are high quality and you keep them very sharp.

>>31076160
>plastic tip on my shoelace

Those are called aglets.

Their true purpose is sinister.

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>Britfag, uni student
>At party
>Bottle opener needed
>Whip out Swiss
>Open bottle
>Put away
>Everyone in the room now knows just how massive my testicles are now they know I'm willing to carry a knife around

Also don't forget you can use them as bottle openers if you're not retarded

>>31081495
What is that edit referring to?

>>31084219
Loss.jpg

>>31084219
Presumably brexit.

>>31084403
I don't see the connection.

>Driving along the road
>see snake half run over trying to wriggle away
>obviously in pain
>pull out fixed blade
>hold snake down
>pierce snakes head kills it

Brutal, poor snake

>>31086694
Rip snek

>>31075403
Don't discount stupidly cheap knives either. I carry a Leatherman and some cheap chinkshit. The chinkshit can be used for stupid shit like prying. A nice multi-tool comes in handy for gripping tiny parts or manipulating things like wire that would hurt your finger or you can't get a grip on, + bottle opener, can opener, screwdrivers and file. You can pick up hot objects or something else you don't particularly want to touch. And when it comes to just knives, 90% of the time I open shit like boxes or packages of food, and it serves laziness in that I don't have to walk to the kitchen and grab a steak knife. I've also used the multitool and the backup knife for pulling stripped screws by turning the screw with the Leatherman and lifting the screw with the chinkshit's blade under the screw head.

>>31087961
A good multi tool is a very nice thing to have on hand, however I find them to be a bit too bulky to throw it in my pockets along with a wallet, keys, and phone

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>>31076113
>not having a separate sawzall blade for every material known to man

>>31087792
It didnt want to be treadded upon

>>31089116
I usually carry my multitool (Leatherman Wave) on my belt in the leather sheath it came with.

>>31090999
Trips killed it the American way

>>31081075
>most people know jack shit about knives and will buy some $10 chink shit knife from walmart
>Older guys atleast have the sense to use buck

oh the irony