eternal /k/ confessions thread

>>31056997
I fuck shampoo bottles

>>31056997
i cant decide what to buy from bad dragon because it all looks so good to fuck/shove up my shit chute and would also eat into my gun budget

>>31057003
I drink shampoo.

>>31057003
O.o

>>31057013
I can already tell where this thread is going....


and das gay anon

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>>31057040
>I can already tell where this thread is going....
hopefully to some recommendations, or some less expensive quality fucktoy recommendations

>and das gay anon
nawnawnawnaw, i dont want to take a REAL cock, its just a FAKE cock, so im not getting fucked, its just masturbating, perfectly straight

>>31057040
It's /k/, threads rarely ever get off the ground; just like our hopes and dreams.

>>31057060
and you forgot the hordes of anons that have book shelves/desks/RPG crates full of horse/dog/dragon/etc cocks

>>31057057
You sir are as straight as a circle.

>>31056997
I bought my first gun because I thought I'd have to budget money in college it would be easier if I hunted for meat.
Still poor but still buy guns when funds are available.

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my favorite hobby is watching seinfeld and taking snapshots of the various expressions julia louis-dreyfus makes throughout the show. i call these snapshots 'rare Elaines'

each rare Elaine is unique; there are no two quite the same. i have over one thousand now. i have captured more than one thousand OC rare Elaines.

you may have seen them on /k/ before. i sometimes use them to accompany my text posts in the form of reaction images.

here is my most recent capture.

>>31057096
nothing gay bout a little prostate stimulation, scientifically proven to feel amazing

also good to be bound, gagged, and then have some chick bury her tongue in your ass, which again, not gay, if fuckin a chick is gay youre all fucked

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>>31057102
That's actually pretty neat.

I walk around my city at all hours of the night and collect interesting things I find on the side of the road. My collection includes a car muffler, two moped mufflers, several assorted hubcaps, the front bumper from what I assume is a Ford Ranger, several lawnmower sparkplugs, and a basket-hilt claymore. I wish I was joking, it's gotten excessive and is taking up space I don't have.

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>>31057142
thanks

I have a small selection of costanzas, kramers, and jerrys, but usually Elaine is the most expressive.

>>31057142
What's the separation point on those mufflers? I used a set of clamps and 2.5 inch pipe to secure mine for state inspection and figured that shit would fall off ages ago. I actually dodged bumps to avoid causing damage to cars behind me.
Think it'll hold a few more years?

The last time I posted in one of these threads I convinced another anon to embrace the latent zoophilia that had been quietly lurking inside him until another anon's post set it off.

>>31057157
The largest one looks like it rusted off at the point where the pipe meets the muffler itself. Either way, you should take your car to a damn muffler shop, man. It's not that expensive to spot weld that shit.

>>31057170
i mean lets be honest here, horse cunt looks pretty damn good

>>31056997
I think AR15s are overrated, but I want one nonetheless.
:^/

>>31057172
woops was meant for
>>31057163

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>>31057013
>>31057057
>>31057121
>>31057163
>>31057176

>>31057170
I used to run it straight piped and welded on a downturn to avoid melting my heat shield like my last truck. I bolted the muffler on for inspection and figured it would fall off by now. The sound isn't great but it works.

>>31057172
>>31057176
Yeah, that it does. Got him into it by directing him to some horse/zebra mating videos, actually got a few different anons expressing interest or confused arousal.

>>31057193
looking at history, bestiality has been around for thousands of years, and is still practiced regularly in some countries

i mean, i think its comical that artificial insemination is perfectly fine but fuckin a horse isnt because "hurr animals cant consent"

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>>31056997
I never told anyone about my autism.

I organize my future purchases and give them names.
Usually in groups of 3.
Pistol, short distance and long distance rifle.

The main set is named after my main waifu.
I have an excel sheet of model/name, caliber, waifu name and order of purchase.

One of the reasons I'm trying to get my Maters in architecture is to design my gun safe 'harem' room. I have 5 variations drafts of the said room.

I don't think this is normal. Is it?

>>31057206
>I don't think this is normal. Is it?
depends on who your waifu is

do you have patrician tastes?

>>31057242
I don't think my tastes is that great anon. It's kinda all over the place/nonsensical.

I know guns like the Mak and Tok are meme guns but damn if I still don't wish I could find them.
On that note are there any Zastava M57 still out there, been looking but can never find any in stock.

>>31057258
J&G sales for a import tok and modern mak. ~$300 a piece.

>>31057265
Ok, Jesus prices have gone up a lot, not even 2 yrs ago Toks went for sub $200 a piece.

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>>31057242

Cortana is pistol
Zonetan
Pearl.


Other sets have two like revvy and balalaika, you can probably guess those guns.

One day I'll build that room/bunker. And I have lots of money. I like to dream anon.

Dont you have a dream anon?

>>31057013
crash is a great starter

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>>31057330
These are more like my lottery goals:

>A private island. Nothing huge, maybe 4 square miles at the most.
>A former warship converted into a yacht.
>A series of guns from anime and TV shows custom-built by various manufacturers. The Casull from Hellsing is on this list, near the top.
>2 Mi-24D Hinds, one stock military, the other made comfortable and luxurious, with significantly beefier engines as well. Also the second one would be either painted red, or given racing stripes, I haven't decided yet.
>A house in Switzerland in case SHTF in the US and it reaches the Island Compound.
>A third season of Black Lagoon. Aw hell, extra seasons of whatever other anime I want as well. And I want Mercenaries 3 for PC and next-gen consoles.
>One of the original Ford GTs that they used at Le Mans.
>The highest speed internet connection available. With all the proxies.
>A zeppelin. Bitches love zeppelins.

Of course, the more realistic, non-lottery goals:
>A room in my house with displays containing weapons and militaria from every major combatant in WWII.
>A KS-23. (Not that realistic, but whatever.)
>A 1966 Mercury Cougar.

>>31057154
I've been thinking of doing something like this but with Ed, Edd, and Eddy.
The animation is wild enough that for every extreme expression there'd be like 5 or 6 images to take.

>>31056997
> i love 45 acp and im fully aware of it's limitations, but i will defend it to the death
> i sold my ak47 and ar15 to buy heroin (long time ago) rebuilding my collection with better guns now
> i know most people arent qualified to own and use guns responsibly and want some sort of test that limits gun purchases to those who pass it

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>>31056997

>>31057206
you've got you're sexuality "wires" crossed. giving your guns waifu names aint normal son. especially since guns are already a phallic symbol anyways

One time i checked if the laser was on by putting my hand in front of the barrel. At the range.

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>>31057456
mmmmmmmGiddy up!

>>31057485
>wants to limit other people's rights
>people aren't responsible enough to own guns
>still buys guns
>says the guy with a heroin addiction

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>>31057206
On /k/ it is.

>>31056997

I fucking hate the assholes at the range.

"Wah wah wah obama muh trump wall keep your powder dry wah wah wah."

Shut up and shoot your guns. If I wanted to hear your retarded politics I'd go to /pol/.

>>31057686
1.former addict 2.never used guns to obtain heroin 3. became opiate addict because of extended hospital stay 4. you don't know shit about shit 5. why the fuck am i even trying to explain anything to a tard 5. fuck it im done

>>31057733
>2. never robbed people with guns to obtain heroin

>/k/ confessions
I believe access to guns should be a tiered process based on experience and knowledge.

You know, like a kind of gun control based on common knowledge, but so well ingrained as if like another sense. Like some sort of common sense gun control.

>>31057142
That pic looks like something from 2000AD.

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>>31057747
preach

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>>31057733
That doesn't matter. You still want peoples' rights to be taken away or limited, which is unacceptable in a society where individual liberty is supposedly held in high regard.

Get fucked, but here's a motorcycle for your troubles.

>>31057762
Fake.

Not enough poo on road.

>>31057779
>Implying only Poo in Loos ride Royals

They ride the brown ones to avoid stains. Chrome ones are distinctly a British and American thing.

>>31057762
you're right anybody who can afford to buy a helicopter should be able to just buy and fly one without a single test or certification, the same with a car or motorcycle, there's no reason anyone shuld have to prove they know how to operate those safely

i'm glad you set me straight thank you

>>31057783
Still Indian. Pretty sure they're all made in India, too.

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>>31057785
You don't have a right to helicopters, or a right to drive. Those are privileges. there is no place in the US Constitution that explicitly grants citizens the right to drive or fly.

Get fucked again, degenerate druggie. And know that better men than you would die for your right to own guns while you advocate those rights being taken away.

>>31057785
I'm sorry I wasn't aware that the right to fly, purchase, and maintain flying vehicles was one of the original and core amendments of the bill of rights.

>>31057785
You realize that a license is basically the same thing as a concealed carry permit, right?

You can drive on your own property without a license, same deal with guns.

>>31056997
Despite being a kinda chubby manlet, I wash out the inside of my ass before I go to gun meets just so on the off chance I get a good fug and I'm not on top, I'm already prepared.

It's happened only twice now. I seem to be getting more looks as I slim down and slowly gain trap aesthetics.

>>31057795
>>31057801
not actually knowing what's in 2a yet you base your whole argument on it

>>31057810
the same can be said for most of /k/

>>31057810
The Second Amendment of the United States Constitution reads: "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed."

>the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed."

>shall not be infringed.

I think it's pretty clear.

>>31057795
>vets never got addicted to drugs

>>31057810
Here
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_Amendment_to_the_United_States_Constitution

Read the history of it. I already have.

I didn't create the text to mirror the second amendment, I created it as a text to show what the right to own, maintain, and pilot flying vehicles would look like dip shit.

>There are people in this thread that want to limit who is able to own a firearm

You people are just as bad as the antis.

>>31057837
>he wants narcoterrorists in Guantanamalcatraz to be able to have fully automatic bazookas

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I killed people and got people killed. Couldnt detect a deep buried IED not through metal not through GPR.

>>31057825
Where exactly did I imply that? I was saying "better people than" meaning people better than a person who would have someone's guns taken away.

I don't even know why I keep posting in what has turned into a bait thread.

>>31057824
Define infringed? Is ensuring those who understand basic firearm safety infringing on their right to own one? Nah

>>31057610
I want cortana to look like halo 1 pistol. Thinking using USP. Chrome/silver it besides the grip, bobbed hammer be red and get those $150 high capacity mag.

I should make list/chart of purchase/services per firearm with estimate pricing.

>>31057856
Guns taken away where did I imply that? Your reading comprehension is fucked now I know why you don't want a test to see if you can own a firearm you wouldn't fucking pass>>31057856

>>31057861
>Intelligence testing denotes who may own a firearm

That is a system that could be abused so easily. Also, work on your punctuation. Also, what happens to people who fail the test who already own firearms? Do you just make an exception for them?

Sunday already?
Fuck me. I don't have a 12 gauge to go shoot some clay.

>>31057858
>is ensuring those who understand basic firearm safety infringing on their right to own one?

Would you like to restate your question, or go to bed? Because I don't think any one can answer it.

>>31057202
You've already confessed your furfaggotry, no need to go into the gory details and weird justifications. No one cares if you have an animal fucking fetish, but they may get annoyed if you constantly prattle on about how there's nothing wrong with animal rape.
And by the way, there's a difference between transferring seed from one animal of the same species to another manually, and putting your dick in an animal for your own pleasure.

I'm bad at confrontation so I kill my neigbhors dog by putting fishhooks in hamburger meat.

>>31057694
I'd be a lot more scared if a crazy guy dressed as Cookie Monster came into my house and pointed a flare gun at me than if it was a negroid with a hi point or a meth head with a taurus

>>31057747
I agree with you but will never accept this.
Who is the infallible being/bureau that decides who qualifies for what?

All of a sudden it's Feinstein and I can't even have the red Ryder that was bought for me when I was born even after my mil experience/classes taken/hours spent shooting.

My real confession
>I prefer women's shorts, if I needed big pockets I'd have my backpack or a belt on.

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>>31058009

>>31056997
i'm afraid my dad is going to use my one of my guns to kill himself if/when his parkinsons gets worse

>>31056997
When i first shot the SKS it felt a bit too heavy and hard to aim

I didnt like the SKS at all
:/

>>31057998
im not a furry, i just want to bang some horse poon

>>31057998
>prattle on about how there's nothing wrong with animal rape
nigga i wrote like 2 sentences, you went off with some stupid paragraph shit, stop prattling on stupid bong

>there's a difference between transferring seed from one animal of the same species to another manually, and putting your dick in an animal for your own pleasure.

theres no difference in consent though, l2read

and
>implying animals cant feel sexual pleasure
>being too dumb to ignore proven research

well since the thread has divulged into animal fuckery.....might as well share this

>rotating in to the middle of absolute fucking nowhere, surrounded by mountains and taliban essentially
>last guys philosophy was basically appease the elders, namely the old tradition thumping guy with a lot of "power" in local villages
>apparently last guys had some disagreements with some of his...requests
>they didnt give a ton of details on some of the things, and we later found out why
>one day, ol dirty bastard requests a meeting at our FOB, no problem, right?
>he brings a donkey
>we all wut
>he has a somewhat lengthy convo with our terp
>terp is going back and forth with this guy for a couple minutes without translating, 1SGT gets tired of waiting and demands a translation
>terp insists on making a quick clarification
>turns to us and with this just deadpan look on his face tells us this (verbatim ofc, i dont remember this shit word for fucking word)
>"so uh, basically, he is offering you guys this donkey for the safety of the surrounding villages"
>1SGT says thats dumb as fuck and we dont need a donkey, we're here to keep the villages safe
>"right, hes not worried about, you know, you killing his people, he is more worried about the, uh, condition of you all in this secluded area and with no stress relief"
>we ofc ask what the fuck he is talking about
>"you see, this man, very driven by beliefs in tradition, and in islam, which is why he is influential, and he is saying that you are to have sex with the donkey, this to him also is protection for women of villages, ease his mind of any uhhh sexual misconduct"
>1SGT pissed at the implication that we would rape civvies
>"its cultural difference, its not that he is wanting to insult you, but he will be insulted if you do not take the donkey as a gracious gift and as a uhhh gesture of mutual respect, he is saying he understands men cannot always control themselves, and this would give him peace of mind"
>cont

>>31058163
>what if we just take the donkey, skip the fucking it part, and just treat it like a goddamn pet for a bit, will that make him happy?
>"well, his expectation is that you will do as he requests to show understanding for the beliefs of his tradition, he sees this as somewhat being hospitable to his guests, i dont expect you guys to understand this right away but this area, its not uncommon, things out here have not changed much compared to other areas, change is not as welcome, so these things continue"
>after probably half a fucking hour of going between the terp and ol dirty bastard, it finally comes down to A) insult old dirty bastard (ODB) by not taking the donkey, thus straining things and making cooperation harder B) just take the fucking donkey and make shit up as we go
>1SGT radios to command, who tells us do not take a fucking donkey what the fuck are you doing, to which the response is given that for relations to improve we need to be more adaptive to the environment we are currently in, with the end agreement being that we take the donkey, include it in NO documentation, feed it, take care of it, and do so without support of command
>ODB is pleased that we are taking the donkey, says some shit about more meetings at FOB and teaching us about donkeys or some shit, he was oddly happy that we took it, but he would have been insulted had we not, so what choice did we have
>after ODB is gone, talk with terp
>so, what the fuck do we do with this thing?
>"well you can get food in village, you have water, just build small shelter they are easy to take care of"
>and what if it dies
>"ODB will not be pleased, he said he considers us caretakers for this area, so if the donkey dies he will be less trusting"
>ODB starts coming like, twice a fucking week, we try to steer direction of conversation towards taliban, he wants to talk about the fucking donkey most of the time, apparently it was some larger metaphor or some bullshit to him
>cont

I am afraid of pistols. I am fine with rifles but holding a pistol is too spoopy for me

>>31058208
>basically, every visit, he would slip in slight suggestions about banging it, and said he would know if we werent 'taking care of ourselves' properly and how it was natural and permissible under islam etc
>says that in order to improve relations, we basically gotta bone the donkey, show of respect, guest in his home, etc. on the bright side whenever we went to the village he always made the bombest tea, never liked tea before, that shit was good
>as we're sipping on some tea, we start prodding for help for some construction projects and intel, ODB of course brings up the goddamn donkey, and that once we show that we all trust him and his traditions, we can move forward, basically somebody has to fuck the donkey
>we get back, light up a few smokes and relax, and try to figure out what the fuck to do with the goddamn donkey
>ODB will visit in a couple of days, so its either bone it or think of an alternative
>no CO in their right mind would let their guys bone a donkey so thats off the table
>and i will admit, at a certain point, a vagina is a vagina and you dont give a fuck what its attached to
>finally it comes to us, we blow up the donkey shack
>last coming up soon

>>31058217
Just remember to clean your fucking vagina in the evenings, anon - no one likes a dirty fucking pussy faggot.

>>31058242
>the idea was that we did on occasion take mortar fire, inaccurate, but it still was incoming
>we set up a charge to blow the donkey up when the next mortars come in to make it look like the taliban killed it
>so stupid it might just work
>day before ODB is supposed to have a meeting, we take some mortars
>theyre hitting nowhere fucking near us
>and after a couple, the towel heads give up
>we grab our prepped charge, throw it in the donkey shack, and blow it sky high
>we didnt let on terp in on this, because he might have ratted us out
>so we told our terp that the donkey got killed by a mortar
>ODB comes over, and ofc asks how the donkey is doing for us
>have terp inform him of the mortar attack
>ODB is on the verge of tears, not sure if out of anger or sadness
>i honestly think this guy might have just been crazy
>after some time in silence, says he will seek punishment for those who attacked both us and his donkey
>strong armed other elders for info/bodies for construction projects
>whenever he heard the taliban got fucked up by us he would have a fucking huge smile for days

i have NEVER told anybody about the donkey technically had/never had, our deal was basically that it never happened, nobody could prove it, whoever says anything about donkeys gets the shitiest duty available for the next week, a few years later that elder died from a stroke, things were a little less to his odd traditions after that

>>31057733
>you don't know shit about shit
Wow must be hard being such a hardass on the interbutz. You don't know me, you don't know the shit I have seen and done, who are you to tell me what I can own, especially if you were a fucking junkie.
Let's be honest heroin is only like $8 a ht now, so unless you are that stupid that you traded both rifles for what equates to nothing, you bought a fuck ton of heroin with it.
Then to think you are morally superior because you never pointed a gun at some one to get illicit drugs. Newsflash by using heroin you were doing more harm to people all over because your money went to drug lords and God only knows who you sold your guns to.
Realistically, you and everyone like you, needs to be drug out of their homes and executed.

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>>31058276
don't cut yourself on that edge there bub

>>31057102
Pls dump

>>31058325
Jesus, man. I'll wager you went to rehab. Did the whole 12-step bullshit or whatever. Do you know why they send people to rehab? Because they're like babies. They're so useless, so addled, so fucking backwards that they need to be told by someone when to go to bed. How to 'beat' an addiction. When it's eating time and all that shit. It makes me sick, and addicts - 'recovering' or otherwise - should just be eliminated. It's a disgusting habit, and it's been made clear that the people who get addicted to shit aren't fit to leech resources off the rest of us.

>>31058325
not same anon but nice try

>>31058348
lmao oops
>>31058356
was meant for you