Why haven't you gotten your weapons blessed yet, /k/?

+5 dmg, +accuracy

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How can the rest of the world compete?

>>30963207
Because I outgrew imaginary friends.

If I want a strange bearded man to touch my weapons and improve their function, I'll visit a gunsmith.

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>>30963268
they can't

>>30963207
>Their faces
Wtf

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>>30963207
beats me

>>30963311
They look bored.

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>>30963311
I kek'd at this one

>>30963279
>Because I outgrew imaginary friends.
kafir detected

>>30963311
Very few know this but the incense used during many services is technically a drug. Effects range from small euphoria to lethargy.

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>>30963295
Lost

>>30964223
everyone else knows them fuckin bead mumblers will never make it to heaven

>>30963297
kek'd

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>>30964223
cool story bro

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>>30964989
It is a good thing, papist simply can't compete

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>>30963207
Because John Moses Browning already blessed it

>>30963207
>+1 holy bonus on attack and damage throws

>>30965031
topkek

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>>30965741
Daily Reminder, Everything Else is Heresy

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>>30965762

>>30963207
My Nugget was blessed by Stalin.

>>30963207
>Implying they arent.

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>>30965762
Fixed that for you.

>>30964223
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxOG4Uyejfk

they got weird music too

>>30967028
>>>/Pol/

Because blessing money is also ammo money. What bleeds for God can surely bleed for a dirty heathen, using a little more ammo.

Besides, anything post-WWII being blessed is just asking for the weapon to be cursed and/or possessed by the angry spirit of a wronged soldier.
>milsurp, old hunting guns, and swords for the unholy creatures and spirits
>semi-autos and EXTENDOS for their mortal puppets and pawns
Do you even holy warfare?

>>30967178
That album is blasphemic.

>>30963492
they are just thinking of the water, holiness fucks with the finish.

>>30963279
/thread

>>30967787
The priest should have told them that he's blessing those glorious guns with holy Cosmoline. That would have cheered them up.

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>not signing your weapons

>>30965762
>Pitting Catholics and Orthodox against each other
>Not calling for the union of the Roman Church
Good goy.

>>30963279

Son, I'm gonna have to write you a citation for displaying All That Edge in public.

This first one is just a misdemeanor, the next is a Class D Felony.

You have a good day, son. Leave that fedora at home and next time, don't be an asshole.

>>30967495
Not that guy and not /pol/, but
>can make fun of all types of christians and mudslimes, but jews are off limits
Why so butthurt? You're treading in literal JIDF territory.

I tried to local Baptist Church but they declined and I'm not allowed within 500ft of the local Synagogue. Is the Church of Latter-day Saints more receptive to such things? I'm running out of options.

>>30968949
>I'm not allowed within 500ft of the local Synagogue.
Story?

>>30963480
He's throwing salt water all over my AK!

>>30969015
Different anon but the baptist church won't let me on their property without calling the cops cause i made a priest run out crying shortly after quitting his job.
>be 7
>dad decides screw mom and her "let me make my own way" policy for religion and politics
>takes me to morning prayer or whatever it is
>wants to introduce me to the priest cause i had all sorts of questions
>real big one was why things died cause namely my kitten got sick and died just before this and i wanted to know what sort of person did sick shit like that
>6 so wording was off but i ask why god kills kittens
>priest says he doesn't and cause gods cool like that
>point out he said all things happen according to gods plan that he set out from the beginning of time so that means my kittens death is on his hands for some vague plan
>priest starts backtracking and i start asking if thats why people die and why vietnam(uncle was a vet and very vocal about the horrors at family reunions) happened
>priest says those are the work of man
>bring up the whole gods plan bit and him knowing everything bit again so he must have known this would happen
>ask why he would make that happen then punish people for it
>just think of it on the spot cause of that and ask if my friend will go to heaven cause his family is jewish
>priest says no unless he converts
>ask why god would willingly pit people like that cause that seems mean
>priest just sort of waves me off on that one
>ask if god made us in his image and he knew the future and stuff why he would make us violent or have guys and girls cause the paintings show him as a guy
Can't remember the rest of the questions but it was just innocent asking cause what he preached earlier really clashed with the logic of it all and i needed some clarification
>priest mostly waves off questiobs
>finally gets to Faith
>everything can be answered with faith in god just don't question the hazy bits and just believe

>>30969405
>tell him this whole thing seems like one big lie and I can't just believe its true without some sort of evidence or something
>asks him if he can give me something i can see or meet someone who can clear it all up or something cause it just seems off
>priest just sort of looks around before crying
>hands me off to dad and we leave
>find out later the priest quit his job and ran out the front door all while sobbing
>found out later they hold this carnival type deal i learned about and asked my dad if we could go
>dad had me take a knee coach style to explain why I can't go to it or be on the property
>walked my own ass over cause fuck that it looked fun
>they have a fucking updated photo of me 4 years later and i get turned away
>try again age 16 cause i got a date and she wanted to go
>have an updated photo from yearbook and still won't let me in
>threaten to call the cops if I wouldn't leave cause i said fuck that shit cause i was a douche back then and my date was waiting inside already
>get escorted home

>>30969405
>>30969465
>Such is life in the Bible Belt

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>>30963207

>>30969405

Wait, you are telling me a priest couldn't answer those shit questions within the confines of the doctrine of the church?

>Things dying

They didn't in Eden. Then Eve ate the stupid fruit and God kicked everything out. If man didn't commit the first sin then nothing would die, nothing would feel pain. It would be bliss. It's YOUR FAULT things die, not God's, so repent sinner.

>Vietnam

Humans have free will. God gave us free will. We can do with that will what we please. But we will be punished for it. So if you want some of that sweet heaven you better live your life according to the Gospel or enjoy that hellfire. Sinner. Vietnam, mass killings, all that horseshit is man's will.

>What about earthquakes and floods and shit?

Are you a good Christian living life according to the Gospel? If you are then you just cashed a one way ticket to literal absolute paradise because of that earthquake. Are you a dirty sinning fuckstick? Then enjoy hell. Your fault, free will.

>Muh evidence, muh empiricism

Nigga, it says IN THE BIBLE you just have to have faith. Full stop. The end. You have to believe in things without evidence just because the Bible says to. If you don't, guess where you go? That's right, hell. Shouldn't have committed the sin of disbelief, sinner.

How a priest couldn't have explained that, I have no idea. How a priest could have a crisis of faith caused by a seven year old, I have no idea. Crisis of faith is like a pillar of being a Christian, even the motherfucking Apostles had crises of faith. Doubting Thomas? Ever heard of the guy?

What I am getting at is sweet story bro. Didn't happen.

>>30969884
>bothering to respond to obvious b8/fake story
You gotta learn to just ignore these guys, m8. Inb4 "I'm just bored"

>>30969465
Of all the stories that didn't happen, this didn't happen the most.

>>30967028
>juden
>picture of the goblin in harry potter
lol, I guess they are bankers, it makes sense.

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>>30963279
M'edge

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>>30963207

If you've ever been to an orthodox service, you probably would have a similar facial expression about two hours in as well. It bothers me that they're allowed to sit down during the service though.

>>30965762
mfw I know the one with the american flag

>>30970292
>LE tipp'd fedora xDDDDDDDd kill le FAGtheists lol true Christian here praise Yahweh!!

>>30969780
Holy shit. I made that like 5 years ago. Cool to see it still floating around.

>>30968793
>trying to get the eastern churches to let in subversive western heretics
Merchant pls go

>>30963268
Can that be paradropped? Where is the ERA