You guns reactions when someone breaks into your home.

>>30908988
OH BOY THREE AM!

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You gonna put my master's TV down or you gonna whistle Dixie?

PICK ME PICK ME

>>30908988
Blam, blam,blam....blam, blam, blam,blam....blam, blam, blam,blam....blam, blam, blam,blam....blam, blam click

>>30909108
Why are they saying that? They're gonna give away your position!

I bet if you rushed him you could stab him with my bayonet, tovarisch

>>30909090
FPBP

>>30908988
>it's time for some black on black crime

>Not interested unless it's kebab, plus you have no properly loaded 8mm
>Use me, I haven't tasted blood since Stalingrad

Of all the webs woven and all the men working, you got stuck in a web not working and nobody wove.

Do you know that waterboarding works and nobody worked to make it work? It works because it works, you'll see.

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>>30908988
roll over and get raped, robbed, and murdered, because self defense is illegal in Canada

Das blut von Negern mich füttern!
>spoken with a 9x18 accent.

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>smith and wesson model 15

will i work?
owner adjusted my trigger weight and has yet to test fire me.
just grab the russian for saftey

>Mosin

stick the insulin swine with my bayonet like a tooth pick into some government cheese.

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>>30908988
Again? What the fuck.

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>>30908988
FUCKING SHITTY MAGAZINES


POWERSTROKE ME WHITEBOI

-chachuck-

HELL YEAH NIGGA

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

...


....


...


....


...

BANG


WATCHING NIGGAS DROP

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>>30909090
Pretty much this

>>30908988
awoooooooooooooo

>>30908988
Sprinfield XD9
>Hoo boy, and your neighbor were scared of you before, they're gonna be terrified now!

All my neighbors are aware I own guns, a few invited me in to show off their own. But one family has a super nosy mom who talks shit about EVERYONE in the neighborhood. She tends to run off when I come around the block.

SA58
>You can't pie for shit in your house, come get me when his buddy tries to drive through the garage.

FNX45
>You're going to regret not putting a can on me.

91/30
>You could probably bayonet him from the stairs. You know you want to.

CZ75 Pre-B
>Rally would be disappointed if you didn't use me.

S&W Shield
>Pick your shots, hope he didn't bring friends.

>>30908988
CZ-75
>Look, you live in an apartment so don't go mag-dumping at the first shadow you-
>Is that the new 20 inch flatscreen you just bought?
>LIGHT THE FUCKER UP!

>>30909791
Glock 20 w/TLR 2 HL G
LETS LAXTRIX THIS GUY AND THEN GIVE HIM A NICE FLASH DANCE BEFORE WE SEND HIM TO THE KUBE AS A SACRIFICE

>>30909214
>Not keeping a tactical defense moose in your yard.

>>30909090
And we have a winner for this year's "Internet!"

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>>30909090

>>30909177
under rated post

>>30909177
If this doesn't win the thread I'll kill a kitty

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>>30908988

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>>30909177
>mfw

>>30908988
>"It look like this poor bastard is about to know how it feels to chew 5.56 gun."
>"Fuck you, you leave me next to the TV all day."

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>>30908988
Mosin
>FOR MOTHERLAND!

>>30908988
>>30909090
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKhTk0IynHM

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This

>>30909214
only if they find the body.

>>30912158
holy fuck that is hilarious.

No pitch or yaw, just launched straight back
fuck I'm still laughing

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>>30908988

>>30909214
If you shoot them they win. Your not a lower are you?

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You are probably gonna get bayonetted.

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>>30908988

>>30912158
Must be 3 1/2 inch magnum shells.

>>30908988
>121 year old bolt action that never saw military service due to various issues.

"Oh god, finally!"

>hey Mr.Stranger, where are we going?

>You sure do have a lot of masters stuff in a sack!

I don't do anything since I don't live in a third world country and no one will ever break into my house

>>30908988
Beretta 92fs
>YAY! Civilian engagement! Wait.. those aren't fmj

Glock 26
>carry me around all god damn year, smelling your stanky ass and soaked in your sweat rain. Finally someone kicks in your door and the 19 is the first thing you grab? Your a fucking cunt and hope you limp wrist it

Ruger Mk III
>Ugh, so where are the cans?

>>30913369
Do you never put on your seatbelt because accidents only happen to other people?

>>30908988
>XD9: Hey , I'm glad we get to be used for our purpose but...
>FEG Hi-Power: is dual wielding us really necessary?

>>30913319
They wedged a 20 gauge shell in a 12 gauge barrel then put a 3 1/2" mag in a barrel only chambered for 3"

>>30908988
Don't look at me, i'm just a .22!

*Muffled noises in the gun safe.*

>>30909177
Best answer so far

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>>30908988
They sing ride of the Valkyrie, muffled from the safeind you, while cc is pic related.

>I WANT YOU TO PUMP ME LOUD AND HARD AND I WANT THEM TO HEAR IT!

So in all seriousness.
If someone broke into your house and you bayoneted the intruder, would the FBI categorize it as defense with a firearm or defense with other object?

>>30908988
Beretta 92
>Yes! This is it, my time to shine! Once I take care of whoever's downstairs I can finally tell Glock to take her mugging story and shove it up her...Wait, wha...?
>THE BASEBALL BAT?! You're gonna choose that over me?! Fine! But don't come crawling back to me when the dindu beats you senseless!

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>>30908988
>IT'S FREEDOM TIME

>>30908988
Mosin
>Shoot the fascist in the chest at point blank and light him on fire, and then stick him with the bayonet. Just to be sure. You can never be too careful when fighting fascists, as my previous 18 owners all discovered

AR
>pickme pickme, let freedom ring! Like your ears will afterwards because you are too cheap to get a suppressor for me

Glock
>A grenade is always called for

Sig
>I promise that their blood won't rust me

Mossberg
>Pump me, I never get any attention

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>>30908988
FINALLY

>>30912158
shouldn't have used play sand, you need military grade sand for this.

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>>30908988
Pic related

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>>30908988
>0300
>breaking glass
>niggers
MFW

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>>30908988

>>30908988
I HEAR NAZIS
AM I BACK IN STALINGRAD?
>1924 nugget

>>30908988
>Sks
Put the Bayo on cyka!
>Hi power
Pick me, be reasonable
>Buckmark
Pick the Hi power, be reasonable
>>30909090
Objectively BP

>>30909214

>not just beating them to death with a chair

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>>30908988

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

*CLICK*

MAWP MAWP MAWP FUCKING BRAKE

Calico
>FUCK! I don't work like in the animes!
Don't GRAB THE M9 BAYONET! YOU FUCKING WEEB! Stoooooop!
>*muffled sobbing as 50 rounds of 9m hit the baddie.*
Mosin
>Opaa. Put the Bayonet on me.
>What. What the fuck are you doing.
>Stop Ivan! /K/ can sometimes lie!
AR-15
>*EAGLE SCREECH.
Px4
>Oh. Uhhh, we're doing counter terror shit now?
>Am I right?! Wait, you never where in the military.
>Master? Are you dead?
>Master? Master...he's dead too...
>Don't leave...
Nerf Gun.
>RADICAL!
>Yeah! GET FUCKED M8!
>Wait, stop. Hitting him with me.
>Ow. I'm not a real gun why the fuck would you bring me over here?
>STOP CHOKING HIM WITH ME! JESUS CHRIST.

>>30913397

Car wrecks typically don't pay child support.

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>>30908988
>jawol mein herr! Let us expunge this undesirable guest

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>>30908988
>have sex with gun
>nearing orgasm
>break in occurs
> *climaxes *

Me! Me! no Me!, this is what you bought me for! over here Me! Quick pick Me! think of the neighbors! use Me!

>>30908988
Why are you using me? I'm likely going to penetrate your neighbor's apartment.

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>>30908988

B-but you've never even taken me to the range yet! Isnt this 1-4x dumb for hd?

>>30908988
>MY BODY IS READY

PTR
>just shoot through the floor. The stairs will be a bitch to aim down
>Take off this ridiculous scope, use me with the bayonet on
P220 10mm.
>WELL, IT AINT A BEAR OR A MOOSE, BUT IT'LL DIE LIKE ONE.
>USE THE BEAR LOADS FOR EXTRA FUN
M1917
>It's been a hundred years since I tasted blood
>Come young man, let us kill the negro

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>>30908988
IT'S SHOVEL TIME !

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>>30917345
Px4

>>30908988
Black things count.

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>FIRE IN THE HOLE!

>>30912158
Needs a flashing "ABANDON THREAD" above it.

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>West German P226 (German police surplus)

Whether against communist invader or criminal scum, I will defend the lives of the citizenry.

>>30913343
I too like to belive my funs call me master much like a cute maid.

>>30908988
>Italian 92S
"OH GOD I HOPE YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME AT THIS BECAUSE I'M GOING TO RELY ON YOU UNTIL THIS IS OVER!"

>thats your dad, faggot

Glock 17
>Oh fuck no, I saw what you were doing under the bedsheets! Get those filthy hands away from me!