Friend Enlisted

Get him an Operation! game from Hasbro.

>>30774585
>Enlisted
Filthy scum.

>>30774603
He was too dumb to be an officer.

>>30774607
That can be said about any low class enlisted failure

Once he's in boot and you get his mailing address, mail him some point6 military green socks.

>>30774585
Yeah that's a great list and all OP, but while he's at basic you should mail him a box full of glitter.

>>30774585
Sounds like you want to fuck this guy

16gb pedrive full of porn.

File: 1468632050580.jpg (78KB, 750x500px) Image search: [Google]

78KB, 750x500px

>>30774626
So what?

>>30774633
So you're a faggot.

>>30774620
>Be me at basic
>Told to tell family not to send food.
>Guy gets a huge box full of baked good from mom
>TI prepares to flip shit
>Sees note addressed to him with a Tupperware full of brownies
>Takes brownies into his office, tells us to destroy the evidence and pretends it never happened.

>>30774643
He's gay. I'm gay.

Send some chrystal meth
Idiots shouldnt be trusted with peoples lives.

>>30774585
send him a nice fookin' watch mate. With a barometer so he knows when its gonna rain cunt.

Sounds cliche but never underestimate the small stuff.

Favourite candy or snacks
Good quality socks

>>30774651
That's either brilliant or retarded on the mom's part, and while basic was a while ago I think early on it would be retarded and later on it would be brilliant.

also
>destroy the evidence
kek

We had someone get a large box mid-late through, he and the element leaders were given like 4 or 5 minutes outside the bay to eliminate all food items. Apparently it wasn't even enjoyable with how fast they had to go.

>>30774797
That's just what they tell you to make you feel better, they loved that shit

>>30774585
if hes gonna use vertical tourniquets, http://www.panteltactical.com/pd-pantel-tactical-vertical-touniquet-pouch.cfm, get a decent pouch for them

also if he gets deployed, send him fucking snacks

by far the best thing i ever ever got on a deployment was food, we got sent small shit like tortillas, cheese (buy the bagged shit, not the shit you have to use immediately), shitty pizza sauce (again, packaged), making your own food without prep and shit meant not having to either eat shitty food for the 1000th time in a row or eating an MRE

food and candy was always a huge boost for us, it made the shitty sand and fucking awful heat a little more tolerable, just dont send all chocolate or something, we had to eat that shit fast, some guy left a hershey bar in a pouch for like 3 days and when he finally opened his pouch it was just chocolate goo inside, he trashed the pouch

send shit like fucking sour straws, god i gave myself a couple cavities on a deployment from a huge shipment of sour straws and gummy bears, so worth it though

send smokes too if you can, or at the very least a bag of tobacco and a ton of papers, and socks, LOTS of socks

if i had to choose a perfect pack

>socks
>some small snacky candy
>any food, doesnt matter really, as long as you can heat it up its good to go no matter what
>tobacco

just dont send this kind of shit while hes at basic or stateside, he wont need/use/appreciate it nearly as much, except for socks, ALWAYS send socks, my family sent me like 60 fucking socks once, i was so happy i nearly cried, kept a lot of pairs, handed some out to people who didnt have enough socks, i kind of miss those days

Wait till he's a few weeks into boot and then send him the biggest dildo you can afford

Give him some fapping lube. You never know when you might need some. Maybe a playboy magazine too, if he's going to one of those places with no internet.

>>30774899
Nice dubs. One can never have enough socks, Harry.
>Albus Dumbledore
But no, seriously, thisthisthisthisthisthis. This. Military people go through socks like Hell. The amount of time they spend on their feet means they wear them through and the amount of sweating and working in moisture they do means frequent changes to avoid trenchfoot on top of changing socks every day anyway.

>>30774930
even in basic, just because youre stateside and have amenities doesnt mean you dont need new socks, rucking DESTROYS socks like a motherfucker, if youre walking for hours on end multiple times a week, your socks thing out fast as hell, the toes wear out, etc.

on deployments, socks are a must, not only do you need them on your feet, you can jerk it with the destroyed ones, i kept at least 6 pairs in my pack at all times, didnt matter what i was doing, 6 pairs

>have to wade through water?
>wait to get a few hours break, dry boots immediately, swap socks

and ziplock bags are handy as well, double bag your fresh socks, and then double bag your worn/dirty/wet socks

also good for smokes/food

>>30774950
As I said, my friend- shittons of time on foot and working in moist environments or in straight up water. That shit destroys socks. And did you know that overly moist footwear can also create blistering as well as general discomfort and trench foot? Basic is full of that shit and so is active duty.

>>30774969
SO MANY people ignored their socks in basic, "oh its just a little damp", and then after a stupid long hike they wonder why the skin is peeling off their feet and they have enough blisters to classify it as a mountain range

the moisture can never be understated, especially when you throw in debris like mud and rocks, that shit tears up socks and feet

ofc once everybody has gone through basic theyve either learned the hard way or learned from other people that you have to change your socks every chance you get, it doesnt make you look tough or hardcore or cool just because youre "enduring" the hell you are putting your feet through, if you insist on not changing your socks, you look retarded and probably are

and make sure its thicker socks too, not like wool thick, but the golden toes have always been good for me, shit like the hanes socks are way too fucking thin, i got a care package with a pack of the hanes ones (they were out of others apparently) and i didnt wear them more than a couple hours, its like theyre made of fucking tissue paper, and despite not wearing them long they STILL gave me FUCKING BLISTERS

hanes socks are only good for whacking off

>>30774990
Wool is okay in cool or moderate climates. It still wicks moisture away from the skin.

Fox River socks. It's all I wear most days. Occasionally I pull out the army issue ones for nostalgia once my boots break in. Send him letters in BCT.

If he's in boot just send a letter, it's just nice to hear your name during mail call. Any thing else will probably get tossed

>>30774607
What if you're not dumb and just don't feel like going through the BS as an officer?

>>30774871
Oh, I knew they were lying to our faces. Maybe I should have wrapped that apparently in quotes.

>>30774603
>tfw college degree
>tfw still want to enlist rather than go Officer right away because I want more time in the field, and don't want to start having to deal with the political bullshit of being an officer right away.

>>30774652
Then you should send some lube. Flavored.

>>30774950
>not only do you need them on your feet, you can jerk it with the destroyed ones
Oh man... Couple of guys on the aircraft carrier had a competition to see who could make the heaviest happy sock by the end of deployment. They weighed the socks on a laboratory scale on Day 1, then checked them regularly for improper contributions. Command found them during a Health and Comfort inspection and ended the competition with no clear winner.