Things your guns say when your friends/family handle them.

File: hqdefault.jpg (16KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 480x360px

>>30661209
it's a ___ douglas! it's very expensive

File: Answer+dat+frone+why+it+arrays+winging_9b074e_5434095.jpg (8KB, 180x136px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 180x136px

>>30661209
dats not a disciprine

File: LoadedChamberIndicator.jpg (20KB, 420x273px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 420x273px

>Alright, you took the mag out.
>Did you rack the slide back?
>You didn't rack the slide back.
>Alright, the new hole in the wall is your fault; maybe you should hand me back now.

"Master has cleared me, so I won't have an outburst."
"I don't like the way the others handle me. I know I'm just a tool, but Master doesn't treat me as such."

>>30661209
>is this fucker the one that slugged anon in the gut?
>fuck him, I'm gonna throw brass at the bastard for it

>oh? A German name? Reminds me of that prick who ran away when my old master ordered a bayonet charge.
>fuck him, I'm gonna throw brass at him and jam because this slack jawed faggot isn't enough of a sexual tyrannosaurus for me and limp wrists me.

>oh?
>this'll be fun
BAM
>Lel, she thought she was holding me right

And my poor mother got a bruised armpit for not holding my Mauser tight enough on that last one.

>>30661209
>No, the stock doesn't go over your shoulder you god damned retard! Do I look like a fire a fucking missile?!

>>30661209
>I'm older than you Grandma, why don't YOU show your elders some respect?

>PLEASE DONT STICK YOUR FINGER THERE!
Really though, my dad got his finger stuck in my mosin
Almost broke said finger on the way out

>>30663966
where did he even stick it?

>>30661209
Ahhhhjh ghosts

>>30664026
in the nyet-go area

>cyaka blyat

>>30664026
Right you know how they have a fixed mag right? He opened the bottom to remove Anna. (I told him to just cycle the bolt) but him and his sausage fingers stuck it right up there and got stuck on the spring

File: idiots-with-guns-26.jpg (24KB, 500x360px) Image search: [Google]

24KB, 500x360px

>pls push my charging handle back in before slapping the bolt stop... Oh you're just going to slap it anyway... master will be angry
>s-s-stop dryfiring, gaijin. You're wearing out my trigger! Why won't master take me back from your undisciplined hands???
>n-no that's fine. The more you rack my pump, the more aroused senpai becomes. He is a cuck.

>Yay daddy is gonna take me out
>Oh look 4 other are coming along too!
>W-Why are we not heading to the range?
>W-Why is the road so bumpy?
>I can handle it this because thats why daddy got me
>Looks like they are stopping, I wonder if this is some new range.
>Seems pretty isolated...
>Oh gosh, daddy is handing me over to another man
>H-He showing everything about me
>Oh god daddy is letting this other man abuse me
>A-Another go?
>N-Now another man?
>D-Daddy you are such a perv for letting these other men use me

Pretty sure my AK is just some slut who just works and makes me and other happy when I take her out.

>>30664132
Lmao it's pretty impressive that he managed to get it stuck on 1 of like 3 moving part groups

>>30664235
L-Lewd

>>30661209
ANON!
THEY'RE TOUCHING ME AGAIN!

>"Mosin. Do you knows these kids?"
>"Nyet Calico, I don't know these shits."
>"Dude! That's an M1! Like in ww2!
>"WHAT DID YOU SAY CYKA! I'LL SHOVE A MOLTEN VODKA BOTTLE DOWN YOUR URETHRA!"
"What's with that gun?! Where is the clip? Maybe it's in the top!"
>"I mean! Where not loaded but they look like-Oh DEAR MOSIN HELP!"
"Dude check it he's got a M16."
>"Who woke me from nap?! Also did master get m16?"
>"AR! Those shits kidnapped Calico!"
>"Oh GOD THEY ARE TOUCHING ME."
>[muffled crying as I'm making siracha shrimp]
"Bam bam bam!"
>"Waaahh. Mosin, AR, please help me."
>"Hold on! They got me in their trap."
>CYKA BLYAT.
>[muffled yelling as I'm taking off my apron and heading to the room those two shits were in.]
>I'm instantly triggered. And the rage of 1'000 tumble landwhales fills me.
"WHAT ARE YOU KEKS DOING?!"
>Grab mosin from shit #1 and the akimbo calico AR faggot #2.
I was so dumb /k/. But now I sleep with all my guns in my bedroom.

>>30661209
Really, firing from the hip? What, you think you're Rambo?

nothing

>>30664150
>stop dry firing. You're wearing out my trigger.
What kind of retardation are you made from?

>>30666169
this, guns cant talk.

File: gear - guns.jpg (2MB, 3264x2448px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 3264x2448px

>does this cyka think I'm an AR?
>IDI NAHUY PEDIK, STUPID LIMP WRIST AMERICAN THINK MAGAZINE FLOW STRAIGHT IN LIKE TINY PENIS INTO BUTTHOLE
>NYET NYET NYET

>oh goddamn, no that's not right sir
>sir...
>now the charging handle isn't locked back all the way ya see...
>oh he's got a clip in hand... Don't do..
>SLAM
>now you hurt your thumb, I told ya that was gonna happen

>"I'm not heavy, I'm not even loaded"
It's funny how all noguns think a pistol is going to feel like a water gun.
Glocks are light but they're still goddamn guns.

>>30661209
>Why are they handing us over to these police officers?

>No, I'm not from that video game, and no, I'm not illegal
>I came into this country legally, I have all my 922r parts
>How dare you compare me to that inferior rifle
>How did your hands get so damn greasy. I better get a good oiling after this
>Dont put that there. That's where I eject
>Your'e not holding me right......*bang...agh my face*.... told you so

>>30661209
They say " " because I wouldn't trust any family member of mine with anything worth more than $100.

>>30661209
>I'm not a straight pull! Twist and turn! TWIST AND TURN!

>>30661209

>revolvers
STOP SPINNING MY CYLINDER! THIS MOTHER FUCKER BETTER NOT CLOSE IT WITH A WRIST SNAP!!!!

>Semi-auto pistols
What is wrong with this faggot? There are only 2-3 buttons and levers, I'm not that complicated. Jesus, why can this faggot not pull my slide back?

>pump shotguns
Heh, he doesn't know that I won't be pumped like his dick. Shit, he's too scared to pull the trigger to unlock me. Maybe you should just hand him the double barrel before he gets hurt.

>double barrel shotgun
If this guy wrist flips up to close me I am going to make sure you NEVER EVER hit another clay as long as you live. Ugh, christ, get those disgusting dickbeaters of of my finish. You better wipe me down when this is over, and WITH oil.

>AR/AK/ANYTHING WITH EXTENDOS
Yeah, you feel it, don't you? You and me against the world stranger. I'm not so bad, and just think of all the fun we can have. Oh, my rails are rough on your hands? Let's go to Midway, and maybe we can find something a little more comfy, shall we?

>Magnums
I swear if this idiot says "make my..." God Dammit, too late. You need better friends.

>.22s
Hi Buddy! I'm so light and pleasant! I promise not to hurt your wrists or shoulders, and we can have the bestest day that 2 friends ever had! Wait, what, you want to shoot something that is "bigger". You know what, fuck you, you fucking normie faggot. I was going to teach you a few fundamentals, but now I hope you shoot yourself is the dick. Didn't you call Glocks "weapons" that should be banned, but the first chance to shoot and you spread 'em for the false god that is centerfire.

>I'm going to shoot literally every person this lady keeps pointing me at

File: tumblr_mwsqkjwet81r8sc3ro2_250.gif (288KB, 192x192px) Image search: [Google]

288KB, 192x192px

>>30668157
Your guns sound like colossal faggots.

File: CetIVNd.png (35KB, 315x320px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 315x320px

>>30664235

>>30664086
*Cyкa блят

>>30668157
>Thread is about how your guns feel
>Post his actually feelings

fucking pussy boy.

>>30668306
>>30669089

First, fuck both of you.

That shit was funny, and I can only infer that neither of you have any experience letting friends finger fuck your collection.

When you grow up, and don't have to hide your guns under the bed, and people want to see the collection, you will see how fucking accurate this post is.

File: image.png (148KB, 300x300px) Image search: [Google]

148KB, 300x300px

92FS
>what is going on?
>who are you?
>oh joy the boss' little cousins found me
>yes yes I'm just like the pistol the army used to use
>I'm not a 45 you dipshit!
>oh wow good job idiot you actually got my mag out good thing it's empty
>wait how did you find the ammo?
>NONO DO NOT LOAD MAGAZINE
>EEP! don't slap my mag back in like that!
>DON'T YOU DARE RACK THAT SLIDE
>DO NOT POINT ME AT HIM! MY SAFETY IS DISENGAGED YOU IDIOT!
>BOSS HELP ME!
The FUCK are doing in here?

mfw I barely stopped my idiot cousin from shooting my other idiot cousin

File: download.jpg (6KB, 231x218px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 231x218px

>>30666282
>now you hurt your thumb...
H-haha. Who would be dumb enough to do that in their first time, r-right guys...?

>>30664235
jesus christ man this is a blue board

>>30670036
How old were they? They sound like they were 5 or something.

>>30661209
Oh god his hands are so greasy
M-master, why?
I-I t-think I'm gonna rust

>>30668157
>22s
thats funny
back when i was noguns my friend said wanna take the 10/22
I told him what im i 4

>Glock 19
"Christ, I don't need to be treated like glass, and I'm not going to melt. It's high grade polymer, not plastic. Just pop off the current mag and gave me back already. And don't pick at the talon grips!"
"Master, I love you, but you're REALLY pushing it. I don't like being handled by morons."

>Shield 9
"Heh. That's right. I stay here at his hip. No dirty nogunz allowed to touch me, his best girl."

>Mosin
"HAHAHA. RECOIL HURT SHOULDER? YOU ARE BEINGS LEETLE BICH MAN. FIRE AGAIN, BETTER THIS TIME."

>Ak 47
"Yes, I can function when dirty. No, I'm not used exclusively by terrorists. No. I'm not going to blow up. And don't..! Don't put your fingers there... Oh there's blood. Enjoy your ER trip, jackass."

>Tokarev
"This is boring. This guy has greasy hands. This brass ammo feeds too well. I wish is was back in Romania executing gypsies. Master, when does the race war start?"

>.357 Windicator
"Can you not have a woman's grip please? I don't enjoy being dropped. And quit flicking my cylinder shut, master is burning holes into the back of your head over it."

>Mossberg 500
"Look, I know the sound of my pump is pure sex, but STOP PUMPING ME ON AN EMPTY TUBE EVERY 5 SECONDS!"
"...Only master gets to do that..."


>.50 AE DEagle
"DIRTY BITCH-HAND PLEBS DO NOT TOUCH ME AND WHAT THE FUCK IS A CSGO? REEEEEEEEEEE"

File: IMG_1447.jpg (222KB, 1000x750px) Image search: [Google]

222KB, 1000x750px

>>30661209
Type 99;
Gaijin go home

>>30673545
Both around 19. They're the kind of stupid that only shows itself after it's in action. One time they tried to use propane in a potato launcher.

File: 1466480674098.jpg (11KB, 250x250px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 250x250px

>>30673977
>mfw I understood basic gun safety at 13 because I was taught properly
>mfw it's basically common sense
>mfw your literally retarded cousins somehow aren't legally incompetent and wards of the state

File: hqdefault.jpg (35KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 480x360px

the year is 2017
>are we going to the range buddy
>this isn't the range this is a police station
>why are those cops giving you money
>i just got taken out of a locker
>oh hi there are you going to take me to the range
>this isn't a range what are those machines?
*sound of hydraulic press being turned on*

>>30674048
They're born and raised SoCal (went back there too) so the bar is VERY low. Also their mom, my aunt, used to call them "her precious boys". I'm fairly certain they're both jobless but I don't keep up with that side of the family so fuck them.

File: 1468603919243.jpg (26KB, 221x259px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 221x259px

>>30674094
>mfw I'm Cucknadian and still know guns better than Commiefornians

File: 1462615984952.jpg (114KB, 780x818px) Image search: [Google]

114KB, 780x818px

>>30674091

>>30674091
delet this

>>30674178
I'm Texan imagine how I feel with them being blood relatives.

File: bdc.jpg (52KB, 326x315px) Image search: [Google]

52KB, 326x315px

>>30674263

>>30674304
I feel your feel. My very own mother is a freedom-hating, antifun piece of SJW trash.

File: one in the pop_one in the ping_the king size ones always make me sing.jpg (2MB, 3264x2448px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 3264x2448px

>>30661209
"Anon, w-with your cousin? I suppose its fine as long as balls don't touch."

File: Feels-Bad-Man-Frog-04.png (74KB, 412x351px) Image search: [Google]

74KB, 412x351px

>>30674091

File: sa-i-gu-rooftop.jpg (57KB, 600x400px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 600x400px

>>30673889
>Master, when does the race war start?
Soon little one. Soon...

File: WASR&92.jpg (412KB, 1434x735px) Image search: [Google]

412KB, 1434x735px

>>30674263
>Brand-new 92FS
>"Ooh, this guy has experienced hands.. LOOK AT HOW FAST HE TOOK ME APART!"
Army vet cousin. I basically just handed it to him and he had the slide off and barrel out before I knew it

>WASR
>"Is owner's father? Hands of laborer."
>"Yes, the magazine goes there."
>"Pull that.. Your help is not needed! I can do it myself."
Rode the fucking bolt.... Spent half an hour in the dark trying to find the one un-fired cartridge left behind because of it.

>AR
>"This is your dad? He was National Guard?"
>"I'm lighter than your issued rifle?"
>"Hey! You know better than to hold me like this! I go against your shoulder, not your collarbone, idiot!"
Atleast he remembers how to work the action. Says he wishes he had my AR around to bust raccoons with.

>Model 19, Model 60
This faggot doesn't even know how to open my cylinder why would you let him touch me.
I swear to god if you let him swing my cylinder shut...

>Makarov
Yes my safety locks the slide, you pulling harder wont change anything.
Thank you for the complement but can I please go back to sleep, only master can touch me like that.

>FAL
Yes i'm heavy, maybe if you weren't such a bitch you could wield me properly.
I'm going to paint these fucking walls red if one more person calls me ugly.

File: 1463517160850.jpg (219KB, 796x622px) Image search: [Google]

219KB, 796x622px

>>30675839
>FAL
>ugly
If one was dropped on their head when they were a baby I could see where they can come up with this...

>>30670940
Not as bad as the child who loaded the clip facing downward