humor thread

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I was in this thread
Oh the memories

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I was in this one too

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Missed this one though

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>>30462835
I'm in a couple places in that cap

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Got a few things

>>30463392
Typical /x/ desu senpaitachi, genuinely the lowest IQ board on 4chan.

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>>30462551

>>30462663
"My rocks fly faster!"
Every-fucking-time...

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>>30464711

>>30462551
What's the sauce of choice for the rich?

Holland and Holland sauce.

>>30464964
How many horses did Sam start out his farm with?


45 Colts.

>>30464979
What was the gunsmith's GPA when he graduated college?

.44 Magnum Cum Laude.

>>30464964
>>30464979
>>30464992
kill yourself please.

>>30464992
What bird would you likely encounter in Death Valley?

A Desert Eagle.

>>30465010
Don't be so JUDGEmental.

>>30465010
Gonna need AUGer to penetrate that ice cold Koch sucking heart of yours.

>>30465010
Don't FAL and hurt that crown of yours now.

>>30465010
The Hi Powers have granted me the authority to fix that broken funny bone you've inherited from Kimber.

>>30465010
It's now my Critical Duty to make you the PUNching bag of this thread.

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>>30465134
>>30465117
>>30465100
>>30465074
>>30465043
>>30465014
>>30464992
>>30464979
>>30464964

>>30465010
I give you a 1 in 12 chance of recovering from this, I suggest you retreat before I leave you with a SCAR.

>>30465010
You've opened up a bad spam can of worms here anon. You just FuckiN screwed yourself over.

>>30465010
I give you a 5.7/10, be more creative with your shitposting.

>>30464979
>>30464992
>>30465010
>>30465014
>>30465043
>>30465074
>>30465100
>>30465117
>>30465134
>>30465157
>>30465170
This was the hi point of the thread.

>>30465010
The UMPires of this board will agree with me that you've set yourself up for this.

>>30465010
You can't buck these shots I'm slinging at you, prepare your anus.

>>30465010
You can't outdance me when I'm doing the Chautchat around you.

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>>30462551
I've met a girl with the perfect cup size....a 92FS.

>>30465014
Good post tee bee eiach pham

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>>30465294
Her sister had 96Gs, but they're a tad big for me.

>>30465010
Yu GOt yourself into this if anyone aSKS.

>>30462551
AK is the Forty-Nineth state in the union. The best if you ask me.

>>30465010
You can't knock me down because I'm the ACE of this. Now just Walther back down in that hole you've bored yourself into.

>>30465010
I'm powered by an AMD 65 processor, you can't even match up to my caliber.

>>30462916
Brad and Angelina like guns though, didnt he buy her a shooting range?

>>30462551
>>30462551
>"What's your zodiac sign anon?"
>"Taurus."
>"Ooooooh, I think we should see other people."

>>30465010
Governor S. Wesson has decreed that you're a faggot.

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>>30464964
>>30464979
>>30464992
>>30465010
>>30465014
>>30465043
>>30465074
>>30465100
>>30465117
>>30465134
>>30465157
>>30465170
>>30465181
>>30465236
>>30465248
>>30465271
>>30465294
>>30465317
>>30465382
>>30465409
>>30465430
>>30465524
>>30465583

>>30465583
He hosted a brady campaign banquet that's what the thread was about

>>30465010
You seem to have a Savage heart, lighten up. Read a magazine, get laid.

>>30465010
PPSH, you kill yourself.

>>30462551
Quit sticking your Mosin in other people's business. That's Nagant how things are done around here.

>>30462551
When life gives you lemons, grab life by the broom handle.

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>>30462551
r'ing The picture of ICBM's being intercepted, it was cartoonish and it had varying level of fuck and shit as too the difficulty of intercepting at certain stages.

As payment for this image i present to you, the /k/ invades sealand comic, by drawfag and colored by artistfag

Hey guise, whaddaya call an MP5 thats run out of ammo? AN MT5

YEEWAAAAAAA

>>30462865
Hahaha I'm a marine and I actually occasionally suck dick so I mean not too far off

>>30466015
fuck you my sides

>>30465010
Seems you've had a muzzle device put on ya, because I don't hear a report from ya.

>>30465010
Those bad vibes you've CETME just ain't reaching me.

>>30463235
Hardcore Henry (2015)

>>30465010
A new weight class has been created just for you anon. Welcome to the Airweight class, have fun with that.

>>30462551
What's a cat's favorite food?

A Mauser.

>>30462732

not calling it MOPP Gear

>>30462551
I'll be reaching STAGgering heights with my new Arms.

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I was about to start a humor thread too.

noice.

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>>30466476
Mr. Anderson.....we've been expecting you.

>>30465010
What? Did I trigger you? Do you need to be bent over back into your "safe" position?

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>>30462835
>>30462859

Post the full cap you cunt

>>30465010
Well ARen't you just a bundle of joy?

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>>30466763

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Damn mice sneaking into glorious ak (not mine i found elsewehere)

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>>30466799

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>>30466842

>>30466799
That was beeutiful.

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>>30466859

>>30466906
I love military stories like this.

pls post more.

>>30462551
How can you tell when a person is sleeping?

When you Czs.

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>>30466949

>>30465010
You're SIGnificantly at a disadvantage here anon, go buy some SAUERkraut and go home.

>>30462777
>The same guy who shitposts undermeme filed a C96 barrel to try shooting a pencil out of it

>>30465010
Ha! You've been Veprized!!

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>>30466946
Here you go

>>30462551
The P90 workout regimen is quite amazing.

>>30467135
I think you mean BRO90
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Umf4itG1Cc4

>>30467175
Lel

>>30467175
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYnndZFUd1k

Schmeisser? I hardly know her!

>>30465010
Shut up you fucking SPAStic

>>30467449
>>30467881
Keep going, I'm looking forward to seeing something than what I come up with.

>>30462812
I was in that one twas chaos

>>30467990
friendly reminder to murrican russiaboos that you'd get russia's gun laws in the package. Protip: even fucking france has better ones.

Have fun having no guns anymore, faggots.

>>30462757
jesus I imagined ERB doing the voice acting

>>30468174
You what?

They aren't talking about a Russian takeover of the US, they're talking about an alliance between the two countries.

Allied countries don't exchange laws, genius.

>>30468174
Fine half of Mars can be forced mandatory gun ownership and we'll have one tiny plot of land where no fun is allowed for you and the rest of the world's commies and globalists so you can feel safe

>>30468236
>getting allied with authoritarian antigun third world shithole.

You might as well stay allied with britain.

>>30466906
So that's why everyone in the air force just sits around and does nothing

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>>30465873
AT least post the whole version dude

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>>30465873

>>30468053
Saved. Fuckin ell

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>>30462708
>"SMOOTHIE KING CAN BE FATAL"
Now that's some tactical advice you don't hear everyday.

>>30462611
>Two of my posts are in there

>>30462551
Obligatory "ORIENT FRICKIN' POOTS"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow5-f6XCTOg

>>30464687
>shawaddywaddy

EVERY TIME

EVERY. FUCKING. TIME

god that part never gets old

Anyone go the kalshnikov concern picture? The kalashnikov monster mash one?

>>30471594

I enjoyed that.

>>30466834
How the fuck?

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dump commencing

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>>30471993

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>>30472002

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>>30472018

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>>30472027

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>>30472038

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>>30472047

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>>30472057
this is gonna take a while... i only now realized my /k/ humor folder is like a gig

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>>30472075

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>>30472086

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>>30472091

>>30462559
That's actually a soup can on a stick, mate.

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>>30462663
my personal favorite

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>>30472097

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>>30472105

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>>30472116

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>>30472139

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>>30472150

>>30465010
Dude, you don't have to make a GARAND deal out of this.

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>>30472159

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>>30472169

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>>30472180

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>>30472191

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>>30472202

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>>30472209

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>>30462949
>pulls out the banana

>>30462812
Holy fuck this thread was gold

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I think im in here somewhere.

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>>30468053
my fucking sides

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>>30472999

Bumping for majestic salmon.

>>30463837
I once saw a guy that didnt believe america existed. That there's nothing to the west and they're being fucked with.

>>30473077
The tinfoil must have been thick and sturdy on that one.

I've been waiting for one of these to pop up.
Anyone got the Terminal Lance "Knock Please" edited with that girl from Spice and Wolf?

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>>30472999

>>30472999
nice trips but ur pic's for ants

>>30465684
Do you have the pic he used? With the guy using weeb shit as a fort?

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>>30465826
>>30466015
>>30466366

>>30466859
Bullshit I couldn't find a news story about such an event anywhere.

>>30465271
Jesus fuck dood. Change your handle to "The PUNisher"

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>>30464687
>space pants

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>>30472150

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>>30474158
>Story says he sold the rifle in the late 90's
>Honestly thinking that a google search is going to show results of a guy using an M82A2
>For self defense
>In the late 80's
>Or early/mid 90's

>>30475051
There are news articles about people defending themselves with machine guns in that time period. A bad guy getting vaporized by a 20mm round after crashing into someone's house would certainly be newsworthy.

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>>30472091

>>30462611
zozzle

>>30474158
You never will.
>M82a2 "upper" in 20mm
No such thing existed.

>>30466859
>M82A2
>20mm
This literally existed only in that shitty Jurassic Park sequel and anyone in that thread with a single shred of common sense or mental capacity for googling should have immediately been able to see that story as bullshit, and middle-school-cafeteria grade bullshit at that.

>>30475051
>some burglar gets his entire torso obliterated with a 20mm
Yes, you fucking retard, that's probably going to make a few headlines.

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>>30474061

Here you go senpai

>>30462888
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPsyLK6OZ9g

This shit is cringey as fuck and not really funny. You guys are posting things that my dad would find funny, he's like 50.

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>>30475717
I had no ragecomics, is this better suited for you? You should probably not be on /k/ for that, try 9gag.

>>30475717
faggot

>>30475717
Mate this shit is comedy gold. The fact that you think if your father finds it funny that makes it unfunny is some hipster ass shit and your dad should have beat you harder.

>>30466946
Can't specify the base but
>Base with nuclear weapons
>Multiple layers of security
>Outer layer contains civilian run facilities
>Security is less severe than the average nightclub
>Hippies bum rush aged security guard
>Escape into forested area (inside outer fence)
>Hounds are released
>Incredibly well trained dogs tackle hippies then bark to alert handler
>Will only tackle a hippie unless threatened
>Dogs having more fun than they have in months
>One gets over excited
>Pisses all over hippie
>Evil plan forms
>All other hippies temporarily detained
>Piss soaked one released immediately
>Middle of assfuck nowhere
>Piss soaked hippie isn't designated driver, has no phone
>Left to shiver, covered in dog piss for over an hour at 40F

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>>30475717

well tell your dad to come join the fun while you fuck off back to 9gag

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>>30473077
On top of just straight nonsensical, that's just insulting. I may not like wherever the fuck that anon came from but at least I acknowledge his homeland ISN'T FUCKING FICTIONAL.

>>30475759
>>30475859
No shit, my dad browses 9gag and this is the same stuff he finds funny. Too much cringe here.

>>30475944
Maybe you'll grow up to be as mature as your dad and realise that worrying about cringe is for kidiots.

>>30463392
been to that thread, was gold

If someone posts the Nazi pizza thing, I'll post an adjoint I made a bit ago.

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>>30462708
fucking kek

>>30466547
Hey look at that :D I got into a screencap
t: for thee

Didn't screencap the thread, some guy 'tested' the Battlebox lofted by a Warthog idea that Sparks was ranting about:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BU6pCxbAjA

>>30476307

Software?

>>30476322
Kerbal Space Program. Be careful, it's a hideous time sink. I'm not talking having lunch a bit later, I'm talking sitting back after your Eve (Venus) manned return mission and realising that it's now 13 hours later. Then you download RemoteTech or some other difficulty curve wrecker and you realise the entire weekend vanished with your attempt to set up an interplanetary communications network with zero downtime.

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>>30471594
I thought it was just gonna be a Marky Mark Montage

but when that
>SSEEEELVAH SPOOOUNE
dropped, I was so surprised that I choked on my pizza bagels

>>30475330

>Imblying you can't hate on the Tavor because it's a box with the ergonomics of a box

>>30475717
>he's like 50.
>50 is old now

>>30475859

No it because my dad has that certain type of humor that isn't funny at all.

>>30462559
>>30462594
>>30462846
>>30462865
>>30462888
>>30462906
>>30463227
>>30465684
>>30466366
>>30466859
>>30472091

I had a cringe attack reading all of these, pretty much the rest in this thread were just unfunny save for a few. I swear this board is so autistic and can't into any clever humor, either that or anything "clever" is shitty 1 liner puns. Shit reminds me of the Tumblr screen caps I see on Facebook

>>30477335
>I had a cringe attack
>this board is so autistic

>Being triggered this badly by silly pictures
>Not autistic

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>>30477335

If you are so triggered, then why not just leave?

And please enlighten us what do you mean by clever humor your supreme gentleman kind enjoys.

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>>30477335
>cringe attack

>>30477335
>itt: weirdly snobbish underage cunts

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>>30477335
You're autistic.

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>>30475625
>M82A2
>Only existed in Jurassic Park

Okay

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>>30477335

>must be 18 years or older to browse 4chan

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>>30477335
>C
>R
>I
>N
>G
>E

>A
>T
>T
>A
>C
>K

>>30477364

This is some real comedy because you have to be spoon fed

https://youtu.be/VAIN_w026aY

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>>30477335
>Thinking Dad jokes aren't funny

women in combat roles

>>30477441
Holy fuck, that's dull.

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>>30477441

>Niggers acting like niggers is clever humor
>Chimpout
>Clever Humor

I hate summer. Shit's not even that interesting let alone funny, it happens all the time.

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>>30477441
>a gif-tier quality video of niggers arguing
>real comedy

>>30477484

Oh sorry it's not clever like "excks dee le clever like da funny big bang theory XD"

>>30477527

It's not clever humor because it's neither clever nor humor.

I grew up with an alcoholic dad, I saw outburst like that enough to no longer phase me. I don't find it funny because it's not really surprising. Nor is it clever humor as it only uses shock for comedic value.

Clever humor usually, but not always is based around Irony, Caricature or Contrast. Shock value humor is the simplest type of humor with the usual example being slapstick comedy.

>>30471730
Fuck off peedo.

>>30477527
I would 100% rather watch the big bang theory over the shit you apparently think is funny.

>>30477441
edgy
>le NIGGERZ are so FUNNE XDD I M RACIST JUS LIKE /b/, SEE GUYS!!!

>>30472191
Nice.

>>30462777
Someone please tell me they have the picture from the top of that thread.

>>30478254
KEK!

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>>30477335

>>30475717
But i´am 50?

>>30462788
Oh wow, had not seen that one before. Top kek

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>>30464687
other stuff from that thread

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>>30477527
you got shit taste man, like an unsalted cracker

>>30462732
didnt know i needed this till now

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>>30466663
good times good times

>>30462906
That many people can't fit in that plane......

>>30482795
14 people.
6 visible passenger windows, 12 total.
2 pilots.
14 seats minimum.

It's fine anon.

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>>30472150
>"I WILL DESTROY THE UNITED STATES"
why does this always have me in tears

>>30471387
I'm curious

Wouldn't the birds flying and dying infront of the dish also produce similar random short lived blips?

>>30477407
Did you not see the 20mm part you blind fuck?

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>>30472150
>I WILL DESTROY THE UNITED STATES

I have read this same screen cap well over 2 dozen times and it still fucking gets me

>>30475625
>>30484862
You must be fun at parties.

>>30484831
Not much metal in them.

>>30476064
Could some explain why that dude isn't shooting the zombie? That's iv88 right?

>>30477335
Nigger, I was diagnosed with aspergers syndrome when I was 6, and you're like 50x more autistic than me. This shit is totally funny. Congratulations on making me take the bait. Enjoy your (YOU).

>>30475625
I do understand why people make up stories about killing people
others here often bash them, but for real. When you've had a boring life that makes people yawn when you talk about it, sometimes it's just fun to pretend you're someone who's actually interesting or cool.

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>>30462551
Habbening right now.

>>30465010
#REKT

>>30472326
Did this guy die after all?

>>30486168
i'd like to think he's in Valhall now

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>>30462551

>>30473077
dumb fucks, of course 'murica exists, Best Korea however is just a joke someone came up with & everyone is just pretending it's real

>>30477335
>I had a cringe attack reading all of these
I had a cringe attack reading the phrase "cringe attack".

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>>30486839

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>>30486842

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Wh

>>30486951
poor Elle :'-(

>>30482795
The flight plan filed with agency lists him and his men

>>30486989
Je la touche même pas avec un bâton cette baguette.

>>30487131
clairement, les americains ont vraiment un pain de merde

>>30486845
I want to touch the fluffy hair

>>30486951
Source on Animu

>>30487288
Upotte!!

>>30477441
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlHtQywWYl0&list=PLS1D1r9MBp0x3nuaDNwYlK1RZSW9uI001

>>30487305
Thanks man

>>30487316
Season 2>Season 4>Season 3>Season 1

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>>30477335
>Cringe attack

Is that what preteens call "not enjoying something" nowadays?

>>30487166
>un pain

non-french detected, i will now proceed to surrender to you.

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>>30462888
feels good seeing you're greentext capped.

nice trips too.

>>30485726
>>30479904

>>30487578
Fuck. I wish this type of woman existed

so that I could be her.

:^(

>>30486168
Leprosy is actually treatable now, you can get rid of it in 6-12 months.

>>30472326
Damn what do you call it when you could swear you were in the thread but maybe not

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>>30488282

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>>30475717
you have to be 18+ to post here kid

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https://youtu.be/Xq5egHvS670

https://youtu.be/i1eEDqW-l2E

https://youtu.be/AvmWSvLtDAQ

https://youtu.be/lmUE_IKuyyY

https://youtu.be/ttP8seRn9aQ

https://youtu.be/BKtTSIM-o_k

>>30476189
Jesus that gun is horrific. Is it a modified CX 4?

>>30462594
That was my post. I posted Kim Jong Il. Wew lad.

>>30476189
>my feet hurt
>the fuck even is this thing?
>I want a real gun
>I wish they'd start rioting already

>>30488816
FN 303 riot gun

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OC from me.

>Working security at some political event
>MP-markings all over, OC, wear a concealed plate-carrier
>Lotsa big brass, politicians, other full-of-shit persons I don't care about
>Generally not that impressed with security-detail
>Orders are being given
>I get the highly coveted "Stand here, look stern, keep area clear of cars"
>Oh joy
>Grab a cup of coffee, lazily wander off to my own little safe-zone
>Contemplate the amount of windows in the building across the street for a while whilst sipping mah coffee
>"Hey, how´s it going?"
>It came from.... behind!
>Don't even turn around, just absent-minded answer, figuring it's a mate of mine
>"Well, I got a cup of coffee, it ain't raining for once, and all I've gotta do is stand around and look angry. So it's alright"
>"Huh, sounds good. I'll just do the same then"
>Turn around
>It's the motherfucking Supreme Commander of the Armed Forces (ÖB)
>tilt
>"Oh, uh.... Good Morning Commander-in-Chief !"
>"Good morning... *reads my nameplate* Anon. Nice day, isn't it"
Shoot the shit with the Supreme Commander for a few minutes. A really chill guy it turns out.
>After a few minutes of chatting, a big black Audi SUV rolls up
>Squad-leader said no cars, so no cars it is
>I walk up to it, motion for him to turn around
>The King of Sweden is driving
>Well, shit
>mfw
>I guess he can park here?
>Yeah, let's just let it slide. Just this once
>Supreme Commander greets the King, and leads him towards the house where the meeting is being held
>Stand there sheepishly in attention
>"Good morning Your Majesty"
>"Mumble mumble"
>Stand around and chit-chat with the personal guards of the king, compare pistols, finger-fuck his SIG, enjoy the sunny Tuesday morning

All in all a good day.

>>30489426
This isn't humor retard

>>30489522
Well, shit. Sorry princess if it doesn't catch your fancy.

>>30489426
>>30489522
It is

>>30488221
Being on 4chan too much

>>30489426
You misspelled "Knugen".

>>30488766
Needs a takin care of business one

>>30489905
What?

>>30462559
has anyone on this board ever tried mashing potatoes with a potato masher?

>>30462646
Oh Ivan, you were to good for this sinful earth.

>>30489522
Well I laughed out loud so apparently it is humor.

>>30462777
Wait how does it send the pencil with nothing but the fire pin?

>>30488252
Is that an M2?

>>30468053
I needed this thank you anon.