/k/ Humor thread

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>>30282407

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Made this

R8 ?

Literally the same fucking images every single thread.

>>30282919
>uncropped, dimmed screen, unenlarged image/10
You look like you were trying to make it shit

>>30283413

i'm just trying to know if it's a least 8/10 so i can know wether i can improve it or if i should scrap the greentext.

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>>30282407

>>30283543

>idiot didn't watch the backblast
>hasn't read Sun Tzu's Art of War

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>>30282415
Every fucking fighter pilot is handsome and built.

Why does this job only catters to super alphas?

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>>30283543

>>30283587
sauce?

>>30283713
Medal of Honor? Whats this guys (full) name?

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>>30283738
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoSptsb8oF0
pretty mediocre but has eng subs

>>30283700
you pretty much have to be alpha as fuck to get through fighterpilot training.
and you have to be built to have any sort of chance to make it.

>>30283700
Because you are entrusting a multi-million dollar object to one or two people that could very easily fuck it up. You literally have to be the perfect human being.

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1/2

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2/2

Anyone have the kinder surprise with AR pics?

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>>30284648

>>30284970
Now how about those edits?

/r/ing screencap of Anon scaring two teenagers having sex half to death.

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>>30287277

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>>30287297

>>30287277

I want to believe.....

https://www.dropbox.com/sh/bvvap2z3655snon/AABF-KETcCxmksktjBL_6AxUa?dl=0

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>>30284970
Because we don't fucking market bushmasters to children. Are the people who made this fucking retarded?
Like I get is Bait, but God damn. Kinder eggs are marketed to children because it's fucking candy with a fun toy inside. The other is a fucking gun.
That's like showing a picture of a car that's had it's windows tinted pitch black next to a car with a gun duct taped to the hood and going "which one do you think is illegal" fuck me.

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>>30285095
this?

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Time to ruin it with the AoYJ memes.

>>30284970
>no trigger discipline
REEEEEEEEEEE THIS IS WHY ACCIDNETS HAPPENAGK RAHEQTANHQETJNH

>>30284985
I DIED

>>30289868
Better call up EMS then.

I giggled to this
https://youtu.be/ayODkX4ItDw

>>30288312
holy shit, I give you my internets

>>30289921
nah, they'd take a while to get to my country

>>30282919

Charge your phone.

anyone have the colt and koch image

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>>30292551

>>30292782
What show is this?

I thought this was pretty good
https://youtu.be/4zUv5grvFpk?t=2m11s

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>>30289744
What'd you expect from a bunch of libcuck moms who don't know shit about firearms or safety?

>>30293571
skip to 2:10 it didn't embed properly

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>>30282407

>>30293586
Time embeds don't work on 4chins.

>>30287297
Someone mind explaining this one to me?

>>30293781
He put a Glock 34 slide on a 19 frame and it wont come off

>>30293846
So it's essentially just a big peg in a small hole?

>>30292782
>45mm
What.

>>30294477

When you absolutely positively have to ruin someones day along with the 12 mother fuckers behind him.

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>>30293786

>>30283700
Most of them are pretty short though. At least when I was in the Air Force I never saw one taller than 6 foot. I'm told this is so they fit properly in the cockpit. Could have just been rumors and 2 bases worth of pilots were all short.

>>30292853
It was some feminist bullshit. The woman who gave them this information was supposed to be an DEA agent as well.

VIETNAM FUCKIN' SHITS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow5-f6XCTOg

>>30295542
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AO9909uexu8

>>30295542

>OOouuuah that red white and blue SEELVUH SPOUUNE

>tfw switched computers and didnt think to back up my pictures
>lost all my /k/eks
help me fill the new folder

>talking to a friend about shotguns
>asks if I know anything about trap shooting
>I say "no, but that Omar guy in Florida might."
I'm going to hell.

>>30296849
>looking at reviews of Columbine
>some smug fucker has written 10/10 indoor range

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1/2

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>>30296891
2/2

never cosmolini

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>>30287928
>are the people who made this retarded
yes

>>30283700
All manlets though

>>30284985
Lost at "glow worms"

>>30296891
Jesus christ I'm glad I wasn't around for that thread. Just reading it I can smell the fumes.

>>30284156
kek

>>30283596
>The guy with the camera tried to watch the back blast

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>>30299809

>>30294740
From my understanding it's no about fitting it's more because shorter people don't have the blood drain from their heads to their feet as bad as taller people so they can withstand higher g forces.

Anyone got the picture of the anime girl that can't take double stack magazines? I know that sounds weird but people who have seen it will know what I'm talking about.

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>>30300463
>anyone got the rule34 loli pic of a double-stack magazine being forced into an anropomorphised pistol
/k/, a magical place

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>>30283700
you have to be ready and able

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>>30300463
I like that one too

>>30296891
>>30296905

Could it be 'HOW TO BASIC' guy?

>>30301056
what the fuck
what was he doing
for what purpose

>>30301153
Best guess: checking laser function?

>>30301056
This hurt me just watching it

>>30301056
I clench up too hard to even see the whole clip through.

http://www.thefrisky.com/2016-06-15/8-common-myths-about-gun-control-and-mass-shootings-debunked/

Nice to see a sensible article.

>>30301323
>clip

>>30300463
>>30300638
>>30300673
Ugh why is there not a full doujin based on this yet

>>30301345
>assault rifles
>"literally made for mass killing"
>"mass killing" repeated million times just in case someone somehow managed to miss the first 999 999 times...
the writer does have a point, but he/she also clearly has an agenda

>>30284985
>negative vehicle to vehicle interface

Lost it.

>>30282919
I got the same phone and nite filter as u bruv>>30283291

>>30300673
>Be me
>See image on /k/
>"hey thats pretty hot let me sav-"
>hold the fucking phone
>thats a FUCKING DUDE

WHY DO WE ALLOW YOU FAGS ON HERE? FUCKING LEAVE YOU MENTALLY ILL COCKSMOKER QUEER.

>>30299842
Reminds me of the war is chaos comic
>Someone hands me a cheese sandwich

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>>30301345
>"In context, the Second Amendment was written while the American Revolution was underway, during a period of unrest in which America was essentially under martial law as it fought with Great Britain. Looking carefully at the amendment and considering the circumstances in which it was written, it pertained more to the assembly of militias for local communities to defend themselves from invading Redcoats than to a 21st century domestic abuser having the right to own an assault rifle."

>>30301670
>thats a FUCKING DUDE

what

>>30301670
that's not a dude

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>>30301680

>>30301670
>Phil gets trapped again

>>30301670
Have you ever heard of a loli good sir?

>>30301178
Yep, that's what he was doing.

>>30301771
>>30301767
the shoulders are somewhat wide and there are NO TITS.

>>30301864
This isn't funny.

>>30301940
Those are clearly loli tits. And look at the elbow

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>>30301670
Phil you forgot your trip

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>>30301940
>This isn't funny.
Oh yes it is

>>30293786
fucking furries

>>30303493
fucking lolicons

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>>30284970
>>30282407

>>30300673
thats hot. i need more. for science.

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>>30296891
>>30296905
This man is without a doubt dead.

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Some new OC

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>>30303744

>>30303932
short timers copy has shipped and arrives in 2 weeks
this'll be my kid's inheritance

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>>30304092

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I just had this idea and after 74 grueling hours I made this in Paint.

What kind of ammo does this weapon take?

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>>30282407

>>30292853
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXlAnARgm68

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>>30303844
He awaits us in Valhalla

>>30303744

Is that a FUCKING ORANGE TIP!?

>>30301056
>every time he puts his hand in front
>my butthole gets 10 times tighter

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>>30284970
>Momsdemandaction.org
wew

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>>30305432

>>30284985
>pharmaceutically gifted

Kek

Whatever happened to the guy whos father died and left him a shit load of guns, including a Gyrojet and a Mateba?

>>30289440
What hame is that Ruskin from?

>>30292782
>>30306037
I always thought it was a photoshopped caption.

i always thought this is dumb no one could be this wrong.......

>>30296956
That's what got me too pham

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>>30306997
I....was in the same boat.

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>>30301056
he was trying to figure out why his grip activated laser was not activating.
I see this shit all the time working at a gun store.
I correct every time and the still learn nothing...

>>30288312
Wasn't there a follow up to this regarding that anon's parents reaction? I'm pretty sure there had to be.

>>30303932
Such is life when you have /k/ids

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ITT: Gucked up shit

Prepare your jimmies.
http://imgur.com/gallery/Nmz4x

>>30307261
Fake as fucking hell

>>30307261
fucking lol

>>30307270
Contact the boys at 5Bravo and ask them
http://the5b.com/5b-inbox/

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>>30306997
>>30307239
seems like they were just having some fun with some of the bullet points

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>>30307261
"Gucked?"

>>30305855
It'd be more effective if it was .40 S&W

>>30307304
kek
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpgL5kuBpMA

>>30288312
great fuggin read

>>30291521
hue

>>30307323
i laughed at that

>>30306898
The /mu/ fag?

I don't have the pictures but that was a great thread. Lucky motherfucker

>>30306037
>Really, please keep your finger off the trigger.
>(See Plaxico Burress for more details)
I lol'd.

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>>30307261
>fist class private
>leading anything
It just keeps getting better.

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>>30306827
I enjoyed the template thread that spawned these

>>30307251
please I need this

>>30296905
fucking saved giggled like a small child

>>30301670
the pic is clearly drawn to be androgynous. the fact that you think it's a guy tells a lot about you

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>>30307615
Here senpai 1/3

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2/3

>>30306898
>>30308305
yes, what happend in the end? last i heard, evil step mother was threatening court action and that was it.

>>30308326
I have no idea, he said he's laying low since someone tried to dox him

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>>30308305
MFW I saw the Mauser
Accompanied by "Holy shit!"
I would fucking kill for one of those.

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>>30308364

He has a Full Retard PTR-91, the 13th MP5K made, and an HK21E

>>30294026
Sorta, I beleive something about a sear will drop just right into place which makes removing them from one another impossible without a hammer...

>>30308414
Fucking hell.

>>30307261

So, so painfully fake.

Where is the professor crying on the ground as the feminist sucks the Army guy off with a bald eagle on his shoulder?

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>>30308414
>>30308323
>>30308305
Oh jesus.

>>30308444

>HK21E
>Full retard MP5K
>Full retard HK33
>FAL
>Mateba
>Mark 23 Mod. 0

MY DREAMS HAVE BEEN DESTROYED

Sweet jesus, how the hell did his father even get an HK21E

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>>30307976

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>>30308479
Perhaps he was an agent in a government taskforce?
Or... HE WAS A GODDAMN SPY

>>30301940
Its a loli. Little girls don't really have tits.

>>30308443
I guess you should try this just to check. >>30307283

>>30287928

Kinder eggs are totally illegal in the US, they're not marketed to anyone.

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>>30308305
>>30308323
>>30308414
Oh shit, I think I wandered into that thread by accident when it was going on, I had no idea this is what it was about.

Did he post the HK21?

Other than that, holy fucking angel pussy what an arsenal.

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>>30308305
>>30308323
>>30308414
How does shit like this happen to a fucking /mu/tant? My boner reached peak levels that guy must have had the most badass dad.

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>>30308414
is that a FN FNC in that pic?

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>>30306905
I wish I could think of a carlos pun for this

It's too much though

>>30308874
never mind handguard had me guessing but magwell gave it away

>>30283713
Lol once a FSTr always a FSTr

>>30283571
Capping your own greentext is like fucking your own sister
Gtfo newfag

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>>30307304
>bullet points

>>30308414
I don't know what to feel
How
Jesus Christ
How do you react to that

>>30303744
Daily news is a shitty tabloid
t. New Yorker

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>>30308323
>THAT FUCKING MATEBA
I FUCKING WANT IT.

>>30307313
Read the damn thing

Does anyone have a photo of that one recent thread where that one gayanon had to go to the ER for sticking the barrel of a shotgun in his ass?

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>>30309200

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>>30309200
No but I want to see this someone pls

>>30309215
Thx senpai.

>>30309215
Oh shit I laughed harder than I ought to when I'm this sick and started coughing a lung up. fucking hell.

>>30309215
SOMEBODY CAPPED IT
Anon, you're the real MVP
But please, have a better oragnzied one, like a direct column.

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>>30309215
Oh my fuck

>>30309325
One anon in the thread made that one and like 4 previous versions. He was the only one there capping so he gets some slack. Thread got long and half or more of it was "postin in ebic bread" and "put me in the screenshot."

>>30301670
Somebody has clearly never heard of "delicious flat chest".

>>30308646
Quit posting your shitty memes

>>30309220
What is trench foot

>>30308414
>>30308323
>>30308305

I choose to believe that's just some rich collector fucking with us because holy shit that is insane what a lucky son of a bitch.

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>>30309690
No.

>>30308305
>>30308323
>>30308414
OP's dad confirmed for time traveler
It's like he KNEW

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A recent thread, so you probably saw this already.
One of my first screencaps, how to improve?

>>30310655
Not bad at all, I'd say the enlarged phrases and words are unnecessary though

>>30310742
Nah, they totally are. They highlight some of the best parts.

>>30310655
Thank god it's a vertical screencap.
Those ones that have no order drive me crazy.

>>30310012
Your memes aren't even original. I've seen that one before. All you are doing is putting your shitty logo on other peoples shit. You are a fruad. A phony. A fake. AoYJ will become a meme that means gay ass stolen meme.

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Have some fresh OC

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>>30282407

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>>30296891
>>30296905
MFW one of my posts made it into the cap

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>>30311445
What one was it /k/omrade?

>>30287336

I've always wondered what that 911 call sounded like.

>Police? I was breaking into this house and the guy has a gun and says he's gonna rape me!

>>30303744
>image of previous cover page on cover page
B R A V O
R
A
V
O

>>30311593
Well, it isn't real.

>>30311468
/k/thulhu fhtagn r'lyeh!

>>30308881

Excuse me. The proper terminology is FISTer.

We FIST things. Like your sister.

>>30310655
>swastika trigger
Need it

>>30312519
I don't know what you mean, can you clarify?

>>30308414
I-I fucking drooled reading this...

Jesus.

>>30288312
holy shit, this guy

>>30308305
>>30308323
>>30308414
holy fuck

>>30311660
ROFL

>>30288312
>>30307251
>>30308038
Please please please please

>>30284985
As an EMT, I fucking lost it. Everyone here is guilty to saying all of this.

Not /k/ related, but this makes me laugh my ass off.

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELPKuKvo44k

>>30307304
They got some nice asses.

>>30308414
This guy's dad must have done some real serious shit back in his day. I'd read the book they wrote about him if the CIA wouldn't have to blackout 80% of the good stuff.

>>30283543
is that stance even proper?

>>30314805
I think I've always loved how a near-death, truly emotional Johnny Cash took a wrist-cutter anthem and made it feel truly meaningful.

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>>30315072

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>>30308323
>13th MP5 ever made
>colt 1851 navy

I can't fucking get over that.

>>30316689
> o shit waddup

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>>30309156
I did, but there's no mention of 'guck' that I saw, except in the comments.

>>30308646
>>30309690
>>30310012
>>30311142
Just photoshop his watermark out or just don't repost his unfunny shit

>>30311644
Dayum, that was a hell of an impact!

>>30287336
Fucking what?

>>30307261
Holy shit that was good. The level of ignorance was too damn high. That was worth a good laugh. Gucking lost.

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not humor but more of a useful thing for faggot threads

>>30318536
Did you follow the imgur link?

>>30311445
neat, mine too.
I made the list at the end of what he put in the stew and was the one who asked him to add potatoes

>>30309220
>trench foot, the image
The anal hydration one might actually work though.

>>30318934
The Anal Hydration one actually **does** work. >>30318824
very fucking related

>>30308414
Worked out fairly well for him as well.

He got to keep the lot.

>>30318572
No. I will flame him and harrass him till his name is a meme in of itself that means "faggot." He wants to be famous? So be it.
>OP is an AyOJ

>>30318825
Oh holy shit, I'm retarded.
Didn't realize that I'd only seen the tip of the iceburg... I hate that imgur truncates shit like that...


Holy shit, it goes on forever

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>>30284970

>>30301056
>puts his hand in front of gun for first time
>my eyes widen, there is no laughter, only a loss of emotion.

You guys know that picture of the guy asking the fat woman if she's healthy on that one talk show? Yeah, that's my exact face.

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>>30309215
Image from hospital is dated 20150114

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>>30319362
>dat bottom text
kek

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>>30314593

So I was on a dual truck one shift (eg: Paramagician and Basic Bitch Me).
>Radio crackles
>Dispatch dispatches us cold to a guy requesting detox/eval sitting on the side of the city commons (Big ass park to y'all grassless types)
>We take our time to go there
>We instantly know it's him when we get there
>Not even 100LBS and 5FT but dressed like an observer on Mt Washington in the middle of the July summer.
>Absolutely freaking the fuck out
>'DUDE I FEEL LIKE I'M DYING I NEED A HIT I NEED IT GIVE ME THE GOOD SHIT MAN HELP ME GOD DAMN GET ME CLEAN'
>medicaltaxi.png
>Partner tells him 'k bruh just get in the ambulance and we'll hook you up'
>I start asking the usual gauntlet of 'name dob pmh medications etc,' get baselines
>Partner is prepping IV. Tweaking dude is not game for needles and I don't want one in my face.
>"Dude, just calm down. This'll help you get that good shit."
>Dude holds his breath and the flailing stops
>"What are you going to give me, doc?"
>Partner asks me to grab a 1000 bag
>"It's just some norma-sahleen."
>Literally 1000cc of Normal Saline
>Hook the bag to the line
>Drip Drip
>Dude instantly calms down and starts placeboing like he's on a good hit.
>mfw that worked

That fucking job and that fucking city. I swear.

>>30306815
>First thing you see on page is donate ad.
https://home.nra.org/
Wew laddeus

>>30299809
holy fuck

>>30283543
Okay I'm not in the military, but my gut tells me that that stance is just not right. Can anyone confirm this?

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>>30308877
The price would be..

two deer

>>30308414
>mfw am australian
>reading this whole thing
>literal boner

I'm not even kidding. I popped a literal boner seeing the 13TH MP5K EVER FUCKING PRODUCED HOLY SHIT.

>>30311644
>Salutes the fish

kek

>>30319679
cold normazaline is the shit

>>30288312
dis was a gud read

>>30308877
If we could monetize this we could make some serious doe

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>>30319124
It's spelled AoYJ you illiterate dumbass.

can someone post that pic of the goatherder scratching his beard and saying 'oh, that's a good one' in response to the argument saying the government can't be fought

>>30301670
>>Be me
Kill your self

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>>30321078
Go fuck yourself.

>>30321078
AjOy, JaOy AoYJ I dont give a fuck how you spell your faggot name. In any spelling synonomous with faggot.

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>>30321444
The trips of autism.
If you guys are so convinced that I slap my watermark onto shit, cite the original images.
>>30321422
Gladly.

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>>30321520
how about you stop being an attention grubbing whore?
>I am AoJY, maker of dank memes
>all will know my water mark!
>then people will like me!
>I will be famous! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
>I dont understand why people are callng me a faggot

>>30314593
>>30319679
MORE EMT STORIES

That is all.

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>liberal insight into Omar Mateen motive

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>>30321747
>liberal thinking has devolved this far
>its only going to get worse
>there's no escaping it

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>>30321747
That is the greatest bait I've ever seen.

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>>30282415
Someone saved my OC

I am honored

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>>30284970
>Muh kinder egg argument
Wrong

>>30306893
Owned the double barrel version of one of this.

Got sent back to the manufacturer for repair the day I bought it. Got traded in the day after I got it back.

Shit product. Shit company.

>>30321747
>2016
>Not knowing gun residue slowly seeps into your central nervous system making you more hateful every time you handle a weapon

>>30282407
Oh my fucking god, I used to be on one of those ships. AEGIS fried two of my fucking wrist watches, but we used to always talk about throwing lightbulbs in front of the arrays. The idea being they'd immediately light up and fucking detonate.

This is fucking fantastic.

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FOR THE COMRADE EMPEROR!

>>30310655
Jesus this thread was from two days ago. And also the reason I post here now.
>Come to see /k/s reaction to all the shit
>I am not dissapoint

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>>30321730
>>30314593
>>30284985

k so more stories from >>30319679

>15hrs into 24hr shift in same shit city on 911-only truck
>Truck that is not me dispatched to - GUESS WHERE - the Commons for a drunk at like 10pm.
>Guy refuses hospital. Crew returns.
>Crew places a bet that we'll see him within 30 minutes
>10 mins pass
>Dispatch is literally the Oprah Windbag of tones YOU GET A TONE AND YOU GET A TONE
>Dispatched to the police station for eval
>roads empty, blow through them lights and siren because #AMERICA
>Pull up to see the guy in the Fun Chair (pic related)
>Guy is conked the fuck out, all bloody
>Cops tell us he tried to fight. Emphasis on 'tried.'
>He comes-to and instantly starts shouting
>FUCK DA PO-LICE GOTTA KEEP THE BLACK MAN DOWN
>I look around
>Partner and I are the only two white dudes
>Everyone else is black except for this one latina chick he decided to 'try to fight'
>We play along as we get him to the stretcher
>Cops handcuff him to the stretcher's railing.
>We ask Mr. FuckDaPolice to calm down a bit so we can get a bandage on his boo-boo
>He calms down.
>Seems ok talking to white EMTs as he continues to mutter 'police keep da black man down'
>We ask how his friend Jack is doing
>Looks at us all confused
>"Jack Daniels"
>"AHAH MAN YOU FUNNY, MAN. I LIKE YOU, MAN."
>We get the stretcher to the ambulance
>Vitals vitals, PMH, blah blah.
>Cop rides in the back with me
>Two cruisers following our ambulance
>Hospital is literally 5 mins away
>4 mins in, Mr. FuckDaPolice houdinis out of the stretcher seatbelts
>Still handcuffed to stretcher but now he's kicking and flailing
>I get on the guy's legs
>Cop gets dude in a headlock
>Bandage comes flying off
>Blood everywhere because scalp cuts are bleeders
>I look toward him
>"GET YOUR FUCKING LEGS BACK ON THE STRETCHER"
>I look back down toward his feet
>Fluid hits the side of my face

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>>30322802

>I look back
>"Did you just get your fucking blood on m--"
>Mr. FuckDaPolice is clutching his face and screaming
>Cop beside him is teary-eyed and coughing
>I blink
>My face starts to burn
>My airway starts to burn
>MOTHERFUCKING PEPPER SPRAY DEPLOYMENT IN THE BACK OF MY CLOSED AMBULANCE
>Five cops rush in
>Officer OC and I back out
>He keels over coughing
>I duck back in, grab a few bottles of the liquid gold that is Saline.
>Wash Officer OC's eyes out
>None in my eye because fuck yea 4eyes
>We all just go 'fuck it fuck the drunk let's just get him to the ED'
>No notice to hospital that we're entering about 12 cops deep right now
>Literally midnight, ED is empty in terms of patients
>Charge nurse clearly wants to quit after seeing us all
>Mr. FuckDaPolice is still flailing because his face is still as hot as a mexican's asshole after working on the chipotle farm
>Had to give a report to the nurse as I was still half-OC'd
>Partner calls dispatch to tell them that we'll be down for decon
>Dispatch gives us five minutes.

This is why I work law enforcement now.

>>30308888
Wat?

>>30308888
>Implying there's anything wrong with fucking your sister
Capping your own greentext is vile though.

>>30284970

See

>>30319306

>>30319679
I hate the drug addicts, literally the number one call we get. Other than that, it's grandma that magically codes on us. Thanks, rural America.

A new one for the book of terms: CRS for the old guys, stands for can't remember shit.

>>30323908

I am fond of those "Elevator Issues" calls that go over the air.

99% of them are not for actual elevators.

But yea if you can jump out of public EMS and go career PD/FD HOLY FUCKING SHIT DO THAT IT IS A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE

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>>30321730
>>30323908

Almost forgot this one that is big:

>Instructor telling a story from his days as a boot
>Gets a call for a well-being check
>Guy last seen by neighbors a week ago
>PMx, if typed in 12pt times new roman, would be as long as LBJ's dong
>He rolls up in his rig, PD follows suit
>Opens door
>Did not have Vicks ready
>smellslikedeath.png
>Cop: "What do you think happened?"
>Turns around, looks at the cop
>"Yea. DRT."
>Cop arches an eyebrow from behind comically large aviator sunglasses
> "Dead right there."
>Clears scene, PD to handle.

>>30318824
>SO I basically have military training
Well I AM partially weapons trained